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Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Sephora. From less is more days to full glam routines, everything you need for all things beauty is at Sephora. Yep, Sephora is where you will find the hottest, newest products you won't find anywhere else. The ones popping up in every Get Ready With Me. Think summery fragrances like Kayali Eden Plush Pair 23, Eau de Parfum, Next Level Makeup, the skincare that keeps you glowing like it's your full-time job. Shop the newest, hottest beauty only at Sephora. call her daddy is brought to you by stouffer's let me tell you something when i am hungry and i am trying to figure out what to eat sometimes you can just actually become so you're angry you're like i am busy i'm hungry i'm getting hangry i'm getting angry what can i eat i need something hot and delicious and low maintenance well introducing stouffer's dinners are not only delicious they're done in a flash serve up their classic lasagna chicken pesto or carbonara for two. Whatever you're craving, Stouffer's is your hot, delicious, easy meal fantasy. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's. You can see all the delicious options at Stouffer's.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Clorox Toilet Wand. Okay, here's the thing. Nobody likes cleaning the toilet. That would be weird if that was your favorite pastime. But Clorox Toilet Wand makes one of the most dreaded chores way easier, okay? Instead of dealing with an old, nasty brush just sitting next to your toilet. Oh, like, actually, like, no. Clorox Toilet Wand is an all-in-one cleaning system designed to make the whole process way better. Thank you, Clorox. The Clorox Toilet Wand kit comes with disposable scrubbing pads that are preloaded with cleaner, a long handle, so you can stay far away, and a storage caddy that keeps everything together. It's literally perfect, you guys. Okay, the textured scrubbing pads foam on contact with the water to cut through tough stains for an easy, satisfying clean. No additional toilet cleaning gel needed. In fact, it kills 99.9% of viruses and bacteria. And when you're done, you just toss the used scrubbing pad away and you never have to look at it again. Okay. Everyone, we have our dorm rooms, we have our apartments, we have our homes. I don't care where you live, daddy gang. You need this. Throw away your gross toilet brush and join the millions of people keeping their toilet clean with the Clorox Toilet Wand. Grab yours today on Amazon. Use as directed. What is up, daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Riley Keough, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thank you. I am such a big fan. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Of course. I huge Daisy Jones and the Six, girl. Oh, cool. like binged the whole thing and said really loved it thanks for watching my husband was like

all right you could take a break i'm like no no it's kind of one of those where you just got to get i gotta go yeah i gotta get to the end it was awesome what was your favorite part of playing

that role i think getting to learn like to sing and play guitar was my favorite part because it was that i think that's one of my favorite things about acting in general is learning like a whole new skill set and this one was like very in like normally you do a few rehearsals or do if you're you know training to do I don't know to be a dancer or whatever I don't know like I've never done something so involved like I haven't had to fully learn to like sing and play guitar uh so I found that really fun wait you were doing like full voice lessons we were doing yeah like we had band practice every day and it was like a year long um but we needed it like none of us not none of us a few of us had never picked up an instrument and or sang was there ever a

point in your life that you would have considered a music career never no never no i still would never i'm not a singer i feel like you have a good voice unless they auto it's fine they didn't

auto-tune it but i have a fine voice i just got by but i i uh i'm a realist and i know i'm not

the fact that you're telling me they didn't edit your voice you have a good voice they didn't edit it i think you call them they're like oh babe that shit was auto-tuned i think they i don't

think they auto-tuned i think the whole point was because it was meant to sound 1970s that you wouldn't do that yeah yeah you sounded gorgeous okay lean i i felt proud that i was able to do it because there was like a conversation uh about potentially getting like vocal stunt doubles or something oh my god and so i felt really determined to make it work and i feel proud we made it work you know i i girl i don't think i'm like the best singer in the world and i you know

that's fine you made it work with flying i made it work um i love how you're like oh like i no no i like never sang from my research you and dakota johnson were in a band together in new york city

don't lie to my face this is so funny this comes up so often and like i think that we need to do something here because yes we were in a band but the band was me and her sitting with her brother around a table in her apartment in new york with photo booth like doing covers of songs but here's the thing neither of us were confident singers so we would just kind of like all sing

together oh so you were you were all competing for like the lead role all the lead you're all

the lead wait what was the band called fokey porn fokey perfect for color daddy wait i'm obsessed

i had a band at one point and i was like so committed did you really yeah but it was so bad what did you do so yeah well here's the thing you know i i started as like the electric guitarist cool but that is like loosely saying that the only song i could electric guitar yeah i relate i'm a loose guitar player i like looked incredible holding it okay but the minute i would get going it was i was giving nothing right i knew how to play the like whatever that song is I could do those like three little things that was all I knew our band was called the aliens okay it was a big deal it was in my basement and then

we changed it to green jelly cool were the other people in the band also loose musicians everyone

was loose okay everyone was loose okay we were kind of just there for the vibes yeah our sign was on like printer paper with like a little marker right it was edgy it was the thing I actually paid my neighbors at one point like 25 cents to come watch us perform wow they were upset that we wasted their time so like I'm a big band girl so Dakota and I didn't get like that far

into it we kind of like it lasted maybe like three days oh my god and uh then it was over

the band broke up good to know good to know we how do you guys know each other like when did you

become friends uh we became friends because we both grew up in LA and just there was some kind of I had a friend who was friends with her boyfriend and we met at like an in and out parking lot and then we went to all the same parties and in LA at like 16 17 and I'd see her out and about and then I became friends with her boyfriend and then so I went to go see his band play and she was always there and she was like the coolest girl the coolest the coolest she still is she is and then we just i don't know became friends and don't you love when like people

are obsessed with like celebrity friendships we're like no no come on tell us more you're like

we're just friends hung out we're at in and out sometimes we hang out and talk on the phone

i think because it makes people feel like closer to you guys of like you guys are obviously both like very cool interesting people and so i think to know that you guys are friends people like

i'm like come on give me more tea i can give you tea i just don't really have any but there's anything you can think of i'm gonna get i'm a tea giver okay okay good you did show up today and be like we don't have to cry i i just don't want you to feel pressure i don't want you

to feel pressure at all if you hate any of my questions let me know okay we can pivot deal okay good um how do you think hey what hey just kidding i'm like let's sit in silence okay i do love that you were 30 minutes old like early and you brought no one yeah can i tell you i've had people come to my studio with like a whole 20 people 10 people five people but the solo solo

is a first um here's my answer i'm not like technically on like a press tour right now so I'm not I have I have no problem going places all by myself you know I love that and I like I

actually enjoy it I am the same way whenever I go on a podcast which is rare I'm like no one come with me I'm gonna let it rip yeah let God go with me the cool thing about not having a publicist here so I can say whatever I want for sure then she's gonna call you after me like what was it you're like I don't remember we talked for almost an hour like who knows exactly just let it be you know what i mean it's fine you're not gonna get canceled from this um how would your friends

describe you oh my gosh that's such a hard question i don't know i have no idea like in

what way like this like it like how would they describe you like if dakota was in the room right now like what would she say about you oh we should we could call her also do you want to let's call her hold on that will be fucking funny go get your phone so she didn't answer okay let's call another friend okay all you're asking is how would you describe me as a friend how would you describe I'm on a show. Give me a good answer.

So do you want them to be. famous or not i mean famous is fun famous is more fun okay like i'll call john it's so funny because

people every i do this a lot of the time a lot and where people will be like how would your friends or what friends could we speak to about you for this interview and i give like my all my closest friends and they're like but what about like famous ones they're like they're like no no we don't care about cassidy like we don't we don't want you know yeah yeah yeah it's so funny okay should i try zoe kravitz yeah let's give her a go the napo baby phone i'm upset oh my god hello hi wait you're on air

call her daddy is brought to you by ritual let me tell you a little something i love summer oh i love summer so much. But when I tell you, I get so excited for my plans and then I'm like, oh my God, but then I'm going to eat and I'm going to be out. And then I'm going to, oh my God, am I going to have digestion issues? Am I going to get bloated? Am I going to have discomfort? All of it. We don't need to live like that. Okay. Don't let your gut keep you from living your best life. Ladies with rituals, Symbiotic Plus, you only need one capsule a day for simple streamlined gut support. Symbiotic Plus is a complete biotic formula with clinically studied pre-pro and postbiotics in clinically studied doses to support a balanced gut microbiome probiotics are only able to stay in the gut for a few days or weeks at a time so consistent use can help support the benefits we do not need guys i'm telling you i'm not i'm not going to dinners anymore i'm not going to feel that way because of ritual we need to take care of ourselves so if this is your sign if you're like oh alex you're so right summer's coming i want to feel good i want you can you literally can support a balanced gut microbiome with ritual symbiotic plus save 25 on your first month at ritual.com slash call her daddy that's ritual.com slash call her daddy for 25 off your first month enjoy daddy gang call her daddy is brought to you by sephora from less is more days to full glam routines everything you need for all things beauty is at sephora yep sephora is where you will find the hottest newest products you won't find anywhere else the ones popping up in every get ready with me think summery fragrances like kaoli eden plush pear 23 eau de parfum next level makeup the skincare that keeps you glowing like it's your full-time job shop the newest hottest beauty only at sephora hello i'm chewing sorry so what are you eating what are you eating

i'm eating um toast amazing i'm eating raisin toast so cinnamon raisin toast with butter okay

so i'm on a podcast and they asked me to call a friend to describe how you would describe me as a friend as a friend as a friend i would describe you as a ride or die like you are

down for whatever you will always you show up all the time you're very consistent like me i feel like me and you will like not talk or see each other for like six months and then it's like we just pick up where we left off and i think you're really good at keeping secret gonna tell those on this pod you're like actually um and you're incredibly loyal and you're funny you're funny as hell and you're honest keep going um you always text me back that's so cute it's true thanks though you're welcome all right love you love you bye okay you're just you're just like you're such a bitch you're just like a bitch

I'm a bitch? Really? Did you think? Really?

You're the nicest person in the world. Okay. I love you. Okay, love you too. Bye.

I'm obsessed. Thank you for doing that. First of all, imagine if you're like, I'm just kidding. I'm not on a podcast. I'm just like feeling needy today. Keep going.

Yeah, right.

Okay, that feels pretty accurate.

I don't know. I didn't really hear much. She said I was loyal. She said you were loyal. I blacked out. You're really good at keeping secrets. I got nervous.

You're like, no, no, I am on air. Don't say anything crazy.

I got nervous of what she was going to say.

No, all of that was lovely. Okay. And I, when she said you were a bitch, I'm like, that is the complete opposite of what I'm getting. You're, you are very like gentle soul.

Thank you. Um, I think that I would say I would, I am a loyal friend. I, I do really care about my friends and you know, I hope, I think. Allegedly.

allegedly um okay let's talk about the book it is so fascinating like what you wrote about yeah um from here to the great unknown So first of all, just to, like, tell the daddy gang, my audience, like, how did this book come to be?

This book came to be because my mother was in the middle of writing her autobiography. And in December, she came to me and said, you know, I need help. like she couldn't she she didn't really I think she just got to a point where she was feeling frustrated and and she she didn't like talking about herself so writing an autobiography was difficult and she asked if I would help her um and then she passed away a month later so I just found myself like it was just this thing that I had to do so I just completed her memoir which was you know very intense how long did it take you oh my gosh um probably about

a year yeah wow start to finish how do you think like having that project to work on after your mom passed like helped you work through your feelings well i think that when i started working

on the book it was only like three four months after she'd passed away so it was very uh like intense and I didn't really want to be doing it to be honest um it felt like this thing I had to complete and so I was a little bit resistant in the beginning and it's also like it's it's very out of my comfort zone to write a story or tell all the things like my family's personal all these vulnerable things about my family right um it's not something that I would do otherwise you know So I felt very resistant, but ultimately I was doing it for her and it's what she wanted. And I knew how much she wanted to finish her autobiography and share her story so people could understand her more and also so she could relate to people. And she's been through so much. I think that largely why she did this was to kind of share her experience in grief and addiction and these very human things. And so, yeah, so I would say that I did it, but I wasn't, like, really excited to do it.

No, I think, like, hearing you even say that is interesting when you said, like, my natural reaction isn't to just, like, spill all family secrets. And I think just to clarify for anyone that is not familiar with your family lineage, you are Elvis's granddaughter. Your mom was Elvis's only daughter. And so I get what you're saying. It's a very famous family that you come from. So to write basically a big book, being like, here's detail by detail what went down, usually we don't get that from very famous families.

Yes. And, you know, particularly in my family growing up and with my mom, she was extremely private. She hated talking to the press. She didn't want to be famous. Like she was born into a situation she really didn't enjoy. um and growing up in the the world we grew up in was very private very secretive very like everything was a security issue like there was no talking to friends about things like our family stuff was you know everything was very private so it was a lot of uh I had to push through that sort of uncomfortable feeling of like sharing all this information but the other thing is is like as a person i'm a very honest person and i also couldn't imagine so she like she was uncomfortably honest so i think i i couldn't have imagined a version of her book where she didn't you know share all these things yeah and like go all in yeah your baby photo was

sold for 300 000 on the cover of people magazine like that is insane in what's insane is i is like

three hundred dollars then was like three hundred thousand three hundred thousand three hundred dollars it was like a million like close to a million dollars like you're so wanted well well

used to be um can you like looking back at your childhood obviously growing up in this famous family what is something that was definitely not normal that like you got pretty used to because you were just like oh i i thought this was our reality like all of it you know like if i if i

like shared the day-to-day growing up it would probably be like you know crazy to give us a little come on well it was just a lot of like thing like it was very like high security and like for going somewhere it was like lots of people following us and very like intense and chaotic and like going through you know i don't know like how are you so calm uh i don't know i i'm not at all you're like internally

internally I'm burning down all day it's the external you're keeping it all together but

internally yes okay good to know how would you have described yourself as a kid I was very quiet

um really internal I wasn't uh I I got called shy a lot but I actually wasn't shy I just was very internal like I just didn't have a lot to say and and just was yeah I was very quiet I was like that actually most of my life until I started to realize that people would perceive that as rude so I really pushed myself to to you know come out of my shell like right now I don't want to be

talking yeah but I have a camera in front of me gotta be here hi everyone oh that's so interesting so if like you're in if you're going through something in your life whether it's like a fight with your partner or a friend, like, do you just go silent? No, no, no, no. I'm very, I'm very

emotional. I'm just not somebody like at a dinner party. If a lot of people are talking, I prefer to listen. It's just that it's not like I'm like internalized. I'm very, I'm very open with my emotions. Got it. Got it. I'm just not like a big chatter. Love. Yeah. Love. Welcome to an hour

sitting down with me. Let's go, girl. I am now. I wasn't. I've grown. I've changed. You're doing great i don't know i hope where am i um the book obviously switches between like your mom and her perspective and then yours yeah how do you think you guys were similar as teenagers wow um i think

i also had a moment of like rebel she had like a her rebellious moment i also had that like where i would sneak out and you know hang out with people i shouldn't wasn't allowed to and getting

arrested and you know you got arrested i did i've never said that no you're like wait this is why where's my publicist come in no one's here to save you wait that's kind of like i i was arrested

once yeah is a good mugshot i never saw it what i know you need to make t-shirts i know i was a minor so luckily i think it was like so it's like an underage yeah a lot of people that i know got

those those were like i was like so terrified to get one because i like needed to go play like soccer and if you had one you couldn't play it was a whole thing right but like i was there you got you got a mug shot you didn't get i didn't get a mug shot but now in hindsight i'm like oh would have been like a little edgy so i had an edgy moment no um before just drinking it was for

oh god i can't say this my public it was for breaking and entering

Oh, man, what, where?

So it was actually, so I went to a party at my friend's house. Okay. But I didn't know that it wasn't my friend's house. It was a house for sale. And so most people, like the police came and most people like got away. And then about 10 of us got arrested. My mom was pissed. did she try to like get it not in the papers no she was like this is on you girl yeah oh my god luckily it didn't get it wasn't in the papers was your mom someone that would

punish you like are you getting grounded i was grounded oh yeah i was grounded for like three

months and i was grounded on my like 16th or 15th birthday or something yeah that's tough i was grounded and she was in las vegas and i had to call her and tell her to come back from vegas and pick me up in prison i've never told anyone this mom i'm in jail she's like i'm on the strip bitch what no so she she's like i can't get there so she sent my aunt to come get me and uh so you know i had a moment i had a moment like a moment as a teenager and she also did

love yeah okay um you write a lot about like the different relationships that your mom had romantically throughout your childhood when you were five your parents got divorced because your mom wanted to marry Michael Jackson how was this explained to you as a kid like that they were

getting divorced so my mom I was like we were in Florida and I was sitting on her lap and she said I'm me and your dad are getting a divorce and I took like the way I received it was that he wasn't my dad anymore um and it was like it's so memorable to me because I just was destroyed I didn't understand what a divorce was so I just thought like he's not my dad now um but the great thing was shortly after like they were so close and they really cared about keeping them you know our family dynamic the same. so he was at our house and staying over and so he was there a lot so I think I kind of forgot about

it which was so you got to see like a very loving relationship between the two of them even though

they got divorced yeah like a really unique like it was a very unique experience especially in the 90s you know to have both of your parents sort of like brother and sister really close living together he lived with us for a lot of my life when my mom had other partners and other uh husbands um he would live in the guest house and so my what was modeled to me was when you break up with someone you stay friends with them um and like i really like apply that to most of my relationships because that was kind of all that i that was what i saw with my parents and um it was really beautiful i mean they were they were like best friends and i don't know if they should have

been married we when you break up with someone or they break up with you and you're staying friends with them have any of your past relationships been like riley like we broke up why are like are you still trying to stay so amicable and are people ever confused by like

how amicable you are no because i think that like it was never a forced thing i think i just I don't know how I did it that there were there was like one relationship that there was you know no friendship there but for the most part all the other ones I don't even know it wasn't I wasn't like consciously thinking about it we just ended up friends it's just kind of like how you were

raised to think that's how you go about it which is probably in hindsight like a I don't know do

we think it's a better way to go about it like my feeling was always like this is a person that I love that I spent a lot of time with why wouldn't I have them in my life yeah if you know unless it was like some like crazy unhealthy situation yes um of course it's uncomfortable for a minute but I think ultimately if it's someone that I really cared that much about yeah then I'd want them in

my life somehow we just skirted past the big name Michael Jackson okay let's go back for a second so on top of like your family already being obviously so famous how did your life get even crazier when michael entered the picture because he had his own slew of like paparazzi and people following him and a media empire essentially our life wasn't crazier because

that was already that already existed like the press and the crazy the paparazzi and you know all that um but her life i think when she saw michael's life there were things that he had that she didn't have like she didn't have a plane at the time or you know things like that and so her she want she then was like oh i'm i should have a plane and i should have a you know this and that and so our life in that way kind of got bigger got bigger because she before that she was with my dad and my dad their life was very simple not not with the press and the craziness but in terms of like at home like she didn't have 10 million assistants and you know she didn't need

all of that and I think that changed how did your mom try to protect you and your brother from the

paparazzi during all this it's so funny because I get tagged in these photos all the time where we're wearing like a hat and glasses and I'm like what does that do it's so weird stunning like like a hiding I don't know like I guess they attempted to hide our faces but it was like

impossible what is the most like extravagant thing Michael did for you and your brother

there was a lot of like um closing down things for us um well it was kind of like the only way that our family could do things like uh if we wanted to go to a toy store or like something like that like or ride rides or you know so so it wasn't that I don't know if it was necessarily done for us or for just for like our family situation where we had to shut the you know the toy stores and stuff but there was one memorable time in London where um we were in the toy store so it was just my brother and I in the whole toy store and we were just like going floor to floor to floor and like filling up our thing and yeah that was the first thing that comes of mine. But I don't know if it was for us or just like the way that our life was, you know.

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your mom parented you I think she was such a she was an amazing parent and she wanted us to have I think her father did these amazing experiences all the time. For me personally, I think that the problem there could be for some that when you're used to so much, it's hard to find joy in simple things. And so I really want my children to be able to find joy in just playing in the backyard and doing normal kid stuff and not need like elephants and circus and you know like all these things all the time so that's probably what I would do differently but um I think her intention was really you know wanting to to give everything she could to her kids have you had a hard time

like finding happiness in the simple things since you were around such wealth and big moments I think

that there was a time in my life where i was like oh we're not gonna you know let me think of a good example of this like like even going to dinner growing up was like 50 people it was like a big deal everything was a big deal all the time so there was more of like a loneliness that would that i experienced in my 20s when our life was a bit different of um i was just used to having so many people around and everything being so intense that I felt a little bit lonely when my life was smaller, I think.

I think that's like a relatable concept. I think like I always talk to my friends who when you get older and you're like life is changing and families and Thanksgivings, like even if you look at what we see in like Hallmark movies and everything, like the bigger seems happier, right? like a big family at a table and everyone is there and when you have a smaller unit it feels like this isn't as fun this isn't as when really like it could be more intimate and you can have stronger connections and it's not it doesn't mean it's not fun yeah but there's this it's that it's

that exact phenomenon but like probably just a little different but yes it's like probably the same feeling you'd get if you you know came from a huge family and had big family gatherings all the time and then it was just you know you or you moved somewhere and you're just like what this

feels lonely absolutely um obviously finishing because I have to acknowledge it with the Michael stuff like obviously before your mom's relationship with him there were allegations of abuse and that he assaulted children then your mom went on to marry him and you spent a good amount of time with him? Like, were there any adults in your life that were like, wait, I don't know if you should be spending time at Neverland. I don't know if we want you to be there. Like, was your dad

nervous? I was never told anything. So even as it's and it's actually not something I ever asked as an adult. Why do you think? I don't know. I think it just like was what it was. Like, I didn't. I don't know it just never came to mind I guess um I would imagine that my dad was really heartbroken and reading the news. And I'm sure that I'm just imagining. I would imagine he said all kinds of things to my mom, you know, that we didn't know about, but nothing like the way my parents parented was very much like we don't fight around the kids. We don't ever say anything around them. There was no like we didn't know anything. We didn't know about any allegations. We didn't know. We had no awareness of that. As an adult, when you look back on that time of your life like how do you feel about it now um I mean the one thing I know is that they were in love and that their love for one another was genuine you know um because I was there and I remember everything else like I don't know because I wasn't there for you know when your

mom would break up with these people and she would like find a different partner at some point in your life like how do you think that affected your own attachment style that's really interesting i

definitely would be really upset like when she would break up with people michael her other partners i would cry i'd get mad at her um i really was upset like i'd get mad at her i'd be pissed you know um not knowing what happened but i was always just mad at my mom for the breakups so it really affected me um my attachment style the one thing I know is that like throughout through all of her relationships everyone would always go she should have stayed with Danny who's my dad and so I always have this voice in the back of my head that's like she should have stayed with Danny and I I know that she was you know someone who when things got boring or mundane or difficult she was like see ya you know and uh i think that there's this part of me that feels like i don't know staying with if you find if you're so lucky to find somebody who is like your kind of best friend in the way that that they were to just to try and like you know

make it work make it work yeah that was what i thought was interesting the book was like basically saying like when your mom was um when she was passing like wasn't he like the last person there basically for her yeah and through all of these different relationships didn't she date like nicholas cage at one point these big moments that were press moments but really the through line was like it seemed like your mom and dad like always kind of stayed by each other's which I can imagine for your own like romantic situation I know you're married now but like prior to your husband were were you ever feeling that through line of like oh this is getting boring I'm gonna run or have you you know what I mean I definitely had that when I was younger

okay when I was younger I was very hard to pin down I was not interested in you know sticking around yeah and I definitely like didn't have the best track record there so that I think would tie to sort of my mom's way of like you know moving on once the the the thrill the thrill is you know whatever that when I was a teenager I was like a that makes sense yeah I'm curious like

was there any part of you that was ever nervous to get married no which is so stupid

i was i mean i was young i was 25 when i got married oh my god i was a little girl and you weren't nervous i wasn't nervous i was so excited i didn't i i didn't know what marriage was i hadn't been in a relationship longer than three years you know like i i didn't think about it

yeah i love that for you i mean that's like really interesting to hear because like i know why i love these type of conversations it's like you never know what you're gonna get because some people could be in your situation be like i was so petrified because i didn't want to do what my mom had done or you know you're gonna like play out what she was doing but you're like

no i like went right into it yeah i didn't really think i was yeah it wasn't impulsive or anything i just like knew that he was the person i knew he was the person i was meant to have kids with i just knew it so i don't know and neither of us were like neither of us ever put any pressure on either it wasn't like we still don't we're not like our marriage will never fail and we're gonna be together till we're 80 you know like we're both kind of like if we ever were unhappy we would get divorced right you know you're realists we're realists we're like whatever you talk about how

your mom was very open with you and that sometimes could feel like a curse what do you mean by that

there were just not a lot of boundaries it was very like everyone knew everything about everybody and everyone was involved in everybody's if I was breaking up with a boyfriend like she was involved you know like it was like that kind of a thing um she everyone you know my brother my dad like we were very enmeshed I think um wow yeah

so would you ever find yourself though like roles reversed I feel like sometimes people get to the point where they almost become the mother to their mother did you ever play therapist with your mom

yes i think that there was a certain point probably in my mid-20s when i sort of became more of the caretaker in the relationship and i think it was around when she became addicted to opiates um because she was always sort of the like leader in our family and then she had you know fell into her addiction and at that point i sort of yeah our dynamic changed a lot can we talk

about that because so many friends and i have these conversations now i have people that write in and it's like such a mind fuck when you become the adult in the dynamic with your parent because you're like wait no it's inevitable it's so weird and hard and it's like you have to have so you either have to have so many conversations or you don't and it just is what it is and you're left feeling a little bit like an identity crisis because your parent who you could always go to and be like the child to you're kind of now like wait why are you relying on me so heavily for

things that like I think the weirdest part about it in my experience is they don't notice they're doing it yes you know and you're like wait no how who's seeing this like it's such an unsaid thing

yeah no you're so right like they're not aware but you're aware yeah and i'm like and then it's

like awkward because you can't say like i don't want to be your parent like grow up like what is

going on and that's why i think it's such a mind fuck because then the people or the person that you're most likely going to in your past go to to complain about something like that is your mom so

to the other one right so you go to your dad and then he's losing it too and you're like oh shit

girl going insane it's really interesting watching my parents get older now I'm like do you feel like you have that dynamic with your parents I started to in a moment and I have been doing a lot of therapy yeah and they have like my mom and I have talked about like our therapy journeys because I'm like we gotta try to not make this happen like we even if we're

equals as adults but i think and it's and it's what are the ways if you're comfortable and sharing that you find yourself in that situation like how i think like as basic as like calling me

for help on everything where you're like how did we get here how did we get here yeah how did we

get through life where i have to say like that is something that i really am going to try my best I don't know if it's just inevitable, but as a parent, I don't ever want my kids to feel like they have to take care of me, unless they literally do. But I mean, emotionally. I don't want my children to feel like my happiness is their responsibility. I feel the same way,

but I also feel like so many people have that point of like, I'm going to do it so differently than my parents and it feels like every generation says that and then we keep fucking up i think

there's another uh you know i think you just have to accept that you're gonna do stuff wrong yeah and you're gonna end up like your your child is gonna end up talking to the therapist about you it's just part of being a parent so i for me i just i try and not you know read into it read or read anything yeah at all i don't read i sit inside i read but i think there's so much pressure you know to improve on the future generations as you know whatever and and so i think i don't know

i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about no it's such a no you're like and pivot and no i know exactly what you're talking about also i love that you having a daughter like did your mom ever talk to you about the trauma and the grieving process of like losing her father and like how she dealt with that because i feel like you write a lot in the book of like seeing her in a moment like crying and drinking and crying over Elvis's death but then it's like how she never talked

about her grief she only would talk about him so she never would I don't think she processed her grief like I think that because her grief was so public she would hide a lot of her feelings because she they felt personal like something she could keep to herself so I think because of that she didn't really talk about the grief so much um and i think as in her late 40s and like when she was

she started realizing that she hadn't really ever talked about it to anybody.

Yeah.

Which I think is also common with older generations, you know? Nobody was talking about... At all. All their things.

Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Sephora. From less is more days to full glam routines, everything you need for all things beauty is at Sephora. Yep, Sephora is where you will find the hottest, newest products you won't find anywhere else. The ones popping up in every Get Ready With Me. Think summery fragrances like Kali, Eden, Plush Pair 23, Eau de Parfum, Next Level Makeup, the skincare that keeps you glowing like it's your full-time job. Shop the newest, hottest beauty only at Sephora. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Macy's. Guys, we are officially kind of nearing the second half of summer, and there's a certain feeling, I feel like, that arrives in July, right? Summer is still here, but you can feel the season beginning to shift. And before it slips away, Macy's is here to help you make the most of every last summer moment, whether it's a spontaneous getaway or an end of summer gathering. Macy's has everything you need in one place. If you're already thinking ahead, discover back to school, back to college, fall fashion and beauty essentials to ease into the next season on your own terms. Shop now in store or at Macy's.com. You obviously have experienced grief. I mean, you lost your brother and your mom in a span of a couple of years, two years. How have you thought about like how to process grief in terms of one for yourself, but also for your daughter? Cause right. Like you watched your mom not be able to handle it till she was about 40, 50 and start to feel it. Like,

have you taken different steps? The only like step that I've actively taken is to like feel my feelings. It's a good step. Yeah, that's a good step, girl. Which is a lot harder than it sounds. Yes. You know, and some of them are have been extremely unbearable. And whether that's grief or anxiety sadness like um I think that feeling my feelings is is has been the only conscious thing that I've done and trying to be present in my feelings could you give

just because I know there's so many people that do deal with family members that have addiction like how did your relationship with your mom change when she became addicted to painkillers

Well, I've had a lot of family members who have had addiction issues that I will and won't say on air because it's their personal story, but more than just my mother. And it's been a really interesting life because I've been surrounded in a way with people suffering from addiction, but there's never anything I can really do about it. um and it's I I have I found myself kind of going like what is the lesson here like to be around people harming themselves and and nothing I do will change it and so the only thing that I could do was surrender to what is you know yeah and uh of course I mean with my mom it was a you know years of me trying to drag her into you know rehab or get her help or like so much effort you know and thinking like this is going to be effective every time and and not really being present in the fact that the person sitting across from me is not participating in my plan you know um so i just was i mean that was i i tried really hard to you know keep all of these plates spinning and then ultimately it resulted in like you know addiction sort of resulted in the loss of two of my family members yeah i was kind of forced to surrender and i think that it's a really hard line because you can't do nothing um because you feel like you know you have to you someone you love is suffering you have to do everything you can to help alleviate the suffering so i wouldn't necessarily like take back all of the effort that I put in but it's just just a weird uh lesson in like I don't know I don't know what

I actually don't know I think that's a good answer though because I feel like I feel like there's so many people that go through it and you feel like you're kind of like going in circles at some point it's like the same thing with it's a way more extreme version of when someone doesn't want to go to therapy and you're trying to get them to go to therapy it's like Okay.

can't make the person go to therapy they don't with addiction it's like this person you can try to help but at some point you also in a weird way have to like give yourself some grace that like

yeah something my mom always would say is she'd say tough love doesn't work and that was I didn't give tough love that was that's not part of who I am but to other people around her who would try and like force enforce things yeah um and i really agree with that like i don't think that personally like unless the unless the person is really causing harm uh or is is a threat to you and your safety or you know yeah then that then it's very different in addiction but i never withdrew love in in moments of you know difficulty and through addiction and I I really believe that you know I think there's a lot of like when you watch those tv shows that are like about you know whatever addicts and stuff and they're dragging them out of you know these are human beings that are in pain yeah so I think that um always operating from a place of empathy to me was

always felt right. One of the things that you wrote in your book that I felt like was so sad for you because it goes back to that like isolating feeling was when you kind of talked about being seen as a narc by your family. You're like, my brother is telling me to leave the club and I didn't know why. And I was like, oh, he's sending me home so he can start doing drugs in the club. And he didn't want you around. How do you think that affected the way you acted around your family because I think the people that aren't doing the drugs like I've had a situation like this where like someone trying to hide it from you and then you also just kind of feeling like not wanted and as much as you don't want to be a part of the drugs you also feel like you're being alienated because you're the only quote-unquote sober one yeah it was a really strange

experience because I never was we were never having the same experience like in my experience I was always being very, I was being firm, but I was always very gentle. And to them, it was like, you're making me feel so bad. Like they took it, everything was really, was received really intensely. And it wasn't my experience. So I think there's so much, like, shame around addiction that it's really hard to, like, have, you know, honest conversations. But I, you know, like, I don't know. It wasn't like I'm in the room, everybody's, like, leaving me out or something, you know. It was a slow burn, too.

when you went through this like two-year span of grief essentially or like the beginning of who did you lean on like who do you go to when you're you need someone to support you

i really leaned on people who had had similar experiences because it felt so isolating i had friends who had lost loved ones in various ways and i found that to be the most comforting because i just wanted them to tell me that i was going to be okay you know from someone who'd experienced it and say like you're gonna survive this and because in the in the moments in the moment itself particularly losing my brother I I didn't see a way that I could so I I wanted to just talk to people who had lost a sibling had lost someone in a sort of more shocking sort of way like the way I lost my brother people who had experienced suicide um I I just wanted to hear just from them. But then I had an amazing group of friends around me and husband. But it's a

really isolating experience. It is. I appreciate you talking about it. And I think that's what was wonderful about you writing about your experience in the book is like you saying you wanted to go to certain people that had experienced it because as much as you love certain friends, if they've never gone through it, you're kind of like, okay, I don't need you to like hold my hand right now i literally need like answers yeah i would go on i would go on

like reddit i would literally go on forums and go like and just because it was it was such an isolating experience right and and like read people's experiences and like blogs and like i talked dm'd with people on instagram who dm'd me who had also lost their siblings like i would just and talk to them and be like did you feel this way did you feel this way because it was so lonely right so i anyone who had experienced it i would literally talk to talk to

Oh, my God. You on Reddit. I know that. I love that for you. Are you also a Reddit sleuth,

though? No, no, no. I'm not like I'm not. I don't. I just do a Google. I'm not like deep. I don't have an account. You're like XXX.

XM-R-F-M-N-N-Q-Q. NARC 25. Imagine you're like the biggest Reddit sleuth and this all comes out one day. We find your account. No. Okay. I read that you're a certified death doula.

Yeah.

Can you talk to me about what that entails and how you got into that?

Yeah. I got into it because a friend of mine was a death doula and because of what I was just saying, how I felt like when my brother died, there were no resources and I was literally going on Reddit. i found a community of people who worked in like the death world and i didn't know that that existed and um she was a death doula and i just thought if i could make myself of use at all to people who were experiencing anything like this i i would so i yeah i did my death doula training and got certified it's basically it's essentially like what a birth doula is okay for dying and you're taught how to be with the dying person. Do you find that kind of also continues to heal

you while you work with other people or is it at all triggering if something is similar that

they're going through that you've been through? I wouldn't say triggering. I would say you're very empathetic you know um it's hard to you're because you've experienced something you you're very much with them emotionally because it's it's a shared law like a experience of grief yeah so um yeah i think it's just it's not that i'm triggered and thinking of my own situation but i'm very much emotionally with the person yeah when you were in the press with like all of that shit

about the estate and everything and legal and all this like how does it feel when your family is so publicly like in the news like that and that i feel like was the first time you were at the

forefront so that's that's actually true like my family's been uh since i my first memories is my family's in the news 24 7 right like growing up every where i would go my family are on the front of every magazine like as a child like that was very normal but my mom received all of it you know um when my mom died that was the first time i received all that right energy which was very intense and i it made me really empathize with her you know it's funny when i i've been doing press for years like I've been acting for a long time and typically it's a pretty good experience when I went out to do press for this book um I really like like the the vibe I got from certain interviewers was aggressive like tell me this thing tell me the answer to this why did this happen like a more like like putting me on like in the hot seat kind of experience which I've never like as an actor I'm just having a nice time doing press you know and I was like wow because it's like related to my mom I'm getting the energy my mom would get you know

and it's so interesting and maybe it's because of the name and how media was different back in the day and there were just like the core tenets of who was famous and there weren't that many famous people it almost is like they're carrying on that sense of entitlement in media of like we deserve to know this and we will go to the end of the earth to get the picture and the shot and the

information and you're literally like we i'm like wait this does not happen anymore i'm like no no nope you're like next question you're like wait you can't say that yeah i can't do you want to fight that's crazy um yeah but then i realized like what she would have been dealing with yeah

it's so interesting like you're every generation it changes and it gets different like and the way that you probably feel about your grandfather so different than the way that your mother felt about her father and how your daughter will feel about her grandfather like this empire that he was yeah that's what's so interesting is reading this book and hearing you talk about it for most of us like this has been a very long time since elvis was at the center of the conversation it's really wild

like i i don't quite understand either it's like there's still movies all the time like and i'm like this is you know it's it's it's amazing that somebody could you know impact people so much like it's it's really unique you know and I you know I really appreciate it because of course we love our family and you know want other people too as well but I do I do often go like what there's always like in my inbox like this movie and that movie and Elvis's and I'm like wow it's really I don't know.

still popping still popping you're like no granddaddy um okay in a way with this book now finally being out do you feel a sense of relief like not that it's being put to bed but you got to tell this story and now it's like the next chapter of your life is beginning i i do feel

relief because it felt like this thing that i knew was coming that was going to be this big thing and i did sort of want it to be over yeah you know um i think this is like my last podcast by the way you're like i'm done going out with a bang i love it i love it um and i yeah i don't want to

think about my trauma all day every day you know i feel like i didn't we didn't get too crazy right

no you wanted to laugh more no i didn't want to i don't know to be honest i had no expectations

did your friends think you were coming in to talk about sex i literally we can i mean i'm an open book maybe you're gonna have to come back on and we're like a different caller daddy episode great where we get into the tea we'll do a tea we'll do a tea episode i'm very very appreciative thank you so much for taking the time i know this is like a lot

so thank you no i appreciate it

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