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Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. And gang, good to see you. Normally we do a fan episode in this slot, but not the case today. This is a follow-up episode. This is part three of the gummies saga. Yes. Now this all began a while ago when we were talking about gummies and one thing led to another. And Sona, you got me some gummies and someone correct me if I'm wrong, but this company Camino. Yes. That's where you got the gummies. You gave me some. you guys were asking me would you try some i've been very hesitant i've done small bites of the sleep one uh which seems to be good okay that's fine i've done very little of it and i'm a big guy so i'm probably not doing nearly enough they sent some other ones which i haven't really experimented with yeah be honest with you because my mind is a very strange place anyway yeah and i've never been anxious to um enhance that in any way but something arrived today so i sure

oh yes it did so my whole point for bringing this up was so that they would send us some free stuff and this has been your ploy since the beginning that's all i wanted yeah i i mean to be honest

i don't care if you do it but i i i just i was gonna say you seem really concerned about me

No, yeah, not at all.

No, you don't care.

I really, I mentioned the brand and then they messaged me on Instagram, which I missed. And thanks to David Hopping, he's like, I think they messaged you. You have to check it. And then they said they wanted to send us stuff. My new best friend, Melissa, came by from Camino and gave.

She came by personally?

She came by personally. To your house or? No, no, here.

Oh.

Yeah, they were in the office.

Who's Melissa?

Melissa, she works in marketing at Camino. Do you have her number? I do, I do. And then they sent over this massive Yeti cooler. Melissa. Wait, wait a minute.

What if there's just like a spleen in there? It does look like there's a major organ in there.

Yes. Oh, my God. It is a gigantic like cooler that they sent. And you think, oh, maybe there's a few. There's like, there's so many in here. and i can't tell you how just what dump them out in the middle yeah right here

i just hold on everyone this is why sona got this is like scrooge mcduck with all his gold coins but just some

pothead it has this is incredible it's unbelievable the haul is unbelievable they They sent the mints I love. They sent all the things I love.

You have to say that's a microphone.

Okay.

That's a microphone and you are shouting into it.

I'm just, I think that I'm not the only one who's excited. You should have seen it.

Yeti zipper lubricant.

What?

I have one of these coolers. It does come with that. You idiot. Oh, God.

Just take the lubricant for the zipper, you nerd. I just took a bite out of the Yeti.

I just took a bite out of the zipper lubricant. That'll get you so high. Hey, I have a question. Can we? Oh.

Oh.

the hell this came in this came too oh my god look at this oh there's personalized yes they sent they sent a personalized one for me i should hold up i guess it's social what's social mean

it's that's the name of all of them have like different purposes so there's like sleep and energy social do social doesn't like make you zone out so that you could go to like

a social event. This is what Melissa told me. And then you can actually have conversations with people. You just feel good. You don't get paranoid? No. And then there's a note from Christy, who is the co-founder and president. And this, I mean, we're at the very top. It's just such an, I mean, and everybody at the office is really excited about this. Yeah.

You want to take that one? You know what's nice? They have a sense of humor. They did send me this Conan's Guide to His First Edible. Did you see this?

What? Yeah. It looks like a little religious pamphlet. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, you know, so you want to masturbate.

Well, and then... That's a booklet that I got at the library. That tin has your face on it. They actually put your face on it.

The tin has my face on it. This is the same face they used on the booklet, So You Want to Masturbate. to deter you from masturbating yeah this one is social so social would do what for me it would help me well i think she should i try one yeah yeah no oh no it says this is it's half it's

two milligrams yeah it's very very you're not going to feel anything so it's just the most

amount of edibles i've ever seen this is incredible haul sona how much of this are you going to keep

yourself and how much are you going to share be honest i'm going to keep all of it no i'm kidding I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm going to share it. Everybody's really excited.

Okay. You're going to share this with everyone. I do want to stress, this is not an ad. Right. We're not getting paid anything. This happened organically. You are a terrible person, Sona. Oh. And you went out of your way to mention this gummy and got some. And then I started talking about it. And now we're flooded with gummies. I still don't know what my personal journey is going to be. okay i know i'm acting like it's a big deal but i don't know i want to be responsible and i'm an old square let's face it but um i'm uh i do thank camino for being so generous and i know that everyone on our staff is going to be uh flying high i'm taking one of each are you really yeah you know now what's going to happen at your house do you your wife will you take a journey together is that what's going to happen she's a little bit more she's just oh my god you gotta

You're acting like they're going to do, like, ayahuasca. It's not like peyote.

It's not like a fishing quest. You know what I love? You know what I love?

In my mind, it is like ayahuasca. And I see, like, hey, it's time for some pineapple habanero journey we're going to take. And that you're going to see a Native American chief. Oh, my God. And he's going to lead you down a volcano. Unbelievable. And you're going to ride a dragon. In my mind, I know. I'm old school. I'm an old.

That's not even old school, though.

It's just wrong.

Wait, did you like watch Reefer Madness once? And you were like, oh, I can never do that.

No, I think a lot of this comes from my culture. A lot of it comes from, you know, my parents, the way I grew up.

He watched Reefer Madness and went, they're being a little lenient.

I still, I have a couple of times when I've really felt like taking a walk on the wild side. I have walked around.

Had a Coke?

Yeah, no, I've wandered around some pretty dicey neighborhood and said, Rifa? Rifa, anyone?

Rifa. Did your parents have a conversation with you about it? No. Okay. Wait, my parents

and I never spoke. There's a lot of kids. I think once they saw me in the hall and they were like, you know, how you doing there, bud?

You never got sex or drug talk at all? Of course not. Not even.

Sex? Forget that. No one's talked about it. I haven't talked about it with my brothers. I don't think any of us have had sex.

I don't know how these kids showed up. I didn't, I'm older, but I got to talk, but I didn't get like any usable information. Right, yeah.

Okay, I want to ask you guys something. Just looking at these, Camino has suggested social for me, which yeah, I really need help with my social skills. Hello. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the system powering like half the places you go. Hello. Yeah. If you've ever tapped to pay and thought, whoa, that was fast, it was probably Square. Whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, detailing cars, or running a design studio, Square helps you run your business without running yourself into the ground. Square is the platform behind the scenes of so many businesses you already love. It gets them connected to a system to make payments, manage inventory, run payroll, send invoices, track it all in one place. This isn't just a point of sale. Square includes hardware that works in person and on the go. I mean, it's incredible.

see Square all the time when I go out there. Me too. And I'm out there a lot. Yeah, you are out there. You're out there on the streets. Yeah, with the streets with the people. And I am doing business. I'm bartering. I'm exchanging. And all the time they use Square. And you know what? It's fast and it's easy. And I wish it existed in an earlier time. Yeah. Would have really helped us. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash Conan. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O slash Conan. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. With the U.S. Bank Smartly Visa Signature Card, you earn an unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Huh, it's a good deal. No quarterly activations, no categories to track, just unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Sona, just the other day, I bought you this antique wig stand.

Oh.

And I didn't get cash back and I regret it now.

Oh, okay. Well, that's a very thoughtful gift.

Do you wear a wig or is that your hair?

Absolutely not. It's definitely my hair. And so it's kind of insulting you would buy that gift for me.

Well, I'll just return it anyway, but I do wish I got cash back.

Yeah.

Visit usbank.com slash smartlycard to learn more. The creditor and issuer of this card is U.S. Bank National Association pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. Some restrictions may apply. Now, normally, Eduardo, you are sitting behind the board. You are the puppet master. You're working all the dials and switches making this podcast happen. But I've asked you to step out. I'm nervous. And I think you're going to like this surprise. Okay. And it involves our friends at Miller Lite. I know that you're a massive football fan. That's right. Because we've caught you watching matches while we're taping a podcast and you clearly have just taped some of the buttons down into position so you can watch. I'm going to present to you Miller Time MVP match ball. This is the Miller Time MVP match ball. Look at this thing. Miller Lite knows you're a big fan, so they asked me to give this to you. And look at this. It holds up to 12 Miller Lite. This is incredible. Yes. Wow. I've been asked to specify. do not kick this ball oh shoot

I was just gonna ask that no

do not kick this ball because 12 beers will go flying through the air tell me how is this gonna be used where is this gonna go in your home

instantly I mean I've been watching all the matches with friends and family this is the perfect piece to add to the table this is really cool here you want one

yeah oh thanks a lot oh look thank you thank you look at oh it's cold yes I don't wanna make any promises, but I think it's actually kept it kind of chilly, which is nice.

Hey, well, cheers to you. I appreciate that.

Cheers to you, Eduardo. Remember, celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Have you got an ass? Then Duluth Trading Company is for you. I'm just reading what they wrote, folks. For decades, Duluth has been making workwear for harder workers. You got an ass, Sona? Yeah, I do. Well, Duluth companies for you from highly abrasion resistant pants to heat beating work shirts. Duluth empowers you to take on life with your own two hands ready to bolster your nether regions. What the hell? Duluth's buck naked unders are the no pinch, no stink, no sweat solution when your junk drawer is on life support. Oh, God. They went too far. They

went too far. Yeah. And you read it. You read it all. Didn't even ask any questions. I just blacked

out and this came out of my mouth. So you do your glutes a favor. Shop at a Duluth trading store near you or at DuluthTrading.com. Duluth trading for folks who work their butts off. But anyway, which one, Sona, I'll ask you first and you too, Gurley, that's that's which one of these uplifting bliss i'm going to take sleep out of the conversation because that's very specific um would you think would be balance which is the one that i should be taking this is what i can

take to like disneyland energy oh yeah that makes me that makes me go and what is when you say energy you're just you're you're up you're just like smiling i'm in a good place i want to go on the winnie the pooh ride i mean that one's it's good that one people whoever worked at disney

Why are you getting so, again, you either shout into a mic or whisper, but either way, your voice is being recorded.

Is this like an assessment of my performance on this? I don't like it. I think that there's, whoever worked at Disney.

Yeah.

They must have done so.

much acid the imagineers yeah not even this acid because some of those rides don't make

remember journeying to inner space what used to be there before star tours no oh boy do i drug trip what are you talking about what do you mean no it was sponsored by monsanto was it really no and you go into like molecules and it's all a drug trip with this projected bouncing

hey wait a minute we don't no offense to camino but we don't need any of this we can go to disneyland yeah we can and have the same experience yeah oh but it's better yeah it's better when you're on this and at disneyland have you gone to disneyland high yes yeah i had a whole story about when they saw me i don't listen to this podcast i don't even listen to her when she's

on the podcast and we're recording it okay i had a whole thing where i tried to smuggle in a whole thing of edibles and then it was like this i didn't even try to hide it they're like you can't

do that you should have made a like a wheelchair out of gummies and said like i sprained my ankle and i so i can't walk today but are the mechanics and it's and it's like when you turn the wheels because it's just and it's saggy and in the sun it's starting to melt i think and they're like excuse me ma'am why are you chewing on why are you chewing on the footrest of your of your

wheelchair yeah and i get to go to the front of every line yeah you get to the front of the line

and you're high as a kite.

Yeah, people who have actual disabilities won't be offended by that.

So social and then energy.

You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.

But you know what I love? That you're stacking it like a dealer. Can I tell you why?

First of all, you're messing it up. I'm doing this because I know people are going to come in and I want them to be able to choose by type.

I think people should have to go to you and you tell them which one you get.

Do a personality quiz.

I don't think you should just lay them out on a table and people grab them so now i think you should sit there and people come up and you're like huh ruthie yeah you don't need uplifting because you're very uplifting already i think you need recover and i should charge everybody yeah well what do you what okay what do you there you go make some money describe me which one i should take you okay sleep we know

50 um chill what 50 i want him to pay me 50 for these free edibles that i got pay you in morocco I think you really need to try chill. I definitely think you need to try the really low dosage one. I think, you know what? Work your way up. And then we'll get to like peyote or ayahuasca. Maybe we'll work our way up to that. You need a shaman. You need somebody. If you get nervous.

What if four weeks from now, I am wearing a full headdress. I'm just like, I'm just out of it. You know what I mean? You're a stoner. I'm just a total stoner.

I'm twirling. Or you've had like a spiritual awakening and you have a third eye. and you just have become this, like you said, a shaman or with a headdress or something. That'd be amazing.

Yeah. Or what if it actually helps you and chills you out a little bit?

Good. What if I go to Burning Man and at the end they burn me? Then we all win. Like he's tall. He's sort of stick-like. Let's burn him up. And I'm like, whatever. I don't know.

Have you guys ever, have you ever gone to Burning Man? God, no.

I feel like you kind of would. I don't think he would. You're the one that would go to Burning Man.

I would. Yeah. I have friends who've gone and they've done orgies.

Why do you keep doing this whispering thing? I don't know because I'm boring. We're in a podcast. You're like, come on, I don't know if you've ever been to McDonald's, but they have shakes if you want. Yeah, we know, shakes.

I don't know. Sometimes I get nervous if the things that I'm saying are allowed to be said.

Is it because of the building stuff and everything?

Yes, that's where all engineers gather. You seem to go to the hammer, go to Burning Man. everyone has a misunderstanding I don't know anything and I know that that's not what Burning Man is like engineering

projects but you also you create communities and I think you would be like the guy who had all the random stuff

nobody else thought of Coachella Burning Man nothing against either of these but any place where thousands of people go on one road to get there and out gives me so much anxiety because all I can think of is like Mad Max Fury Road

but you know what in the second Mad Max movie you know that weird gyrocopter that that guy has, I would go to Burning Man if I had access to one of those. Same, yeah, yeah. And the same goofy leather helmet that he wore. And when things started to go south, I could go like, see you later, gang. And I go up in the air. That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah. I'll get you one of those. Okay, I'll go with you. Those can't be that expensive.

Two coolest guys at Burning Man right here.

So you think I should do energy or chill? No, you think I should do chill, not energy.

I think you need to do the one with your face on it.

Yeah, but I don't know why I have energy over here. No, energy's the last one I think you need. I don't know.

I think you need chill. Here, take that one.

Okay.

No shade to Camino, but when I've bought marijuana, sometimes it's named after different things. Marijuana? When I bought weed, sorry, when I bought weed, like I bought a cool...

john wick weed and i bought a white walker from game of thrones weed i mean they can up what do you mean that's just the names that's the name of it but it makes you know i'm like oh i want to get some john wick this is all energy and sleep and can i say that we've never got any free shit from

those people yeah and camino has sent us all this free stuff i like how this stuff is categorized

too because i we haven't talked about it a lot but i did a fair amount of weed in my 30s but then paranoia hit me yeah and so now i'm curious if social will work for me because if it doesn't Yeah.

I'm going to say this. Weaked and baked. I'm on the record as saying I really haven't tried gummies and I've never done any drugs in my life. But I think Camino is killing it. Yeah. I think they're doing an amazing job. What a great spokesman. I don't use this product. I don't use this product. I'm not qualified to talk about it. But God bless you, Camino. I think you're doing an amazing job. Agreed. And they were nice to my people. I got to say that. They were nice to my squad.

You know, I was once. Adam's got something. I was just going to say, I think this is part three of the edible saga and Conan has yet to have an edible. That's so true. We should see how many episodes we can do in the saga where Conan still doesn't try it. Will it finally culminate in him doing it? I say no.

You know what it is? It's a movie. It's got a strong will they, won't they element or series. And if they go to bed, it's over. But remember Lost, they prolonged it too long before you know. I'm not going to be Lost. But I am, I'm not going to do that. All right. But it's going to be a Breaking Bad ending where everyone's like, they nailed it. They stuck the landing. so all i'm asking is that for people stick with us for a couple more years well these camino gummies molder and petrified in my nightstand and by the way i'm gonna get burgled so fast everyone's gonna break in and go right to my nightstand and take my camino but um but no i'm going to uh yeah i i i we will see at one point this will resolve and i will i

don't think it will i'm gonna say it you'll never do it yeah you don't want people to keep listening to the podcast no i want them to but i feel like you'll just never do i don't think you can break that programming i think you're just too nervous i don't think you'll do it there's no way we'd all

come in about an hour before we record take a standard dose and then record an episode no i

would do it i would i just want to make sure that we're being responsible that kids listening know

that this isn't something as a nerd i want to jock pummel you so bad i just want to like i want to wet will you i want to wedgie you i want to shove you in a locker and just go nerd and then i want to go win a football game i don't know how that's gonna happen well but i want to

spoken like a true aggro job i'll wet willy you oh i can't wait to give you the old purple nurple and then go hit the gridiron. That's my point. You're making my point. I know.

Do you really think you'll do it? I'm being, this is a serious question.

I think I will.

I don't think you will.

I'm only saying it to create this incredible tension. I'm going to do one tonight.

But you know you're, it's okay if you're not. If you're not that guy, you're not that guy.

We'll find out. It's okay. We'll find out. What if it changes him and then that changes the whole, then he decides to just move to Bali and not do the podcast anymore. Then we've screwed ourselves. Well, I'm just saying

You'll never work again

That's my ambition

No, no, Sona, I want people to keep listening Because there's going to be another installment And I think you're all going to be There's going to be a number four

And I think you're all going to be

Fascinated by what happens And it's coming

This has all the staying power, the fast and five Furious, whatever that shit is

Oh, wow

You're the Vin Diesel of this Of this franchise

I'm just saying Yeah I got my crew And you know what? Family is everything to me All right, stay tuned

Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Avsessian, and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy Supervising producer Aaron Blair Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by Eduardo Perez Get three free months of SiriusXM When you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan Wherever fine podcasts are down

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