Muse

Hey guys, look, we got a great episode with Ali Sadiq today. Tanya got married this weekend, they ran out of toilet paper, or it was some ceremonial thing where I got an amazing blessing. You guys decide. Anyway, before this amazing episode with Ali Sadiq, there are some things that we have to address, some very important things that have happened in the world. The Knicks, after 53 years, are NBA champions. I'm so excited about it. I don't know. I think this is a cool moment because people have actually realized, like, the only sport New Yorkers all care about is basketball. There are New Yorkers who care about baseball. There's New Yorkers who care about football. There's New Yorkers who care about hockey. But the only one that all of us come together to care about as a part of every single New Yorker's identity is basketball. And that's because that's the only sport that we can all play growing up. Like, my high school didn't have a fucking baseball diamond, you know, didn't have a football stadium. We had a basketball team, barely, wasn't even a home court. We had to go to this place called Basketball City. It was like a facility that we would play our home games on. And, but yeah, so it's just, it's the sport that means the most to us. And, you know, we've suffered through half a century of losing and never got. We were bitter, but we never lost hope. We never lost hope. And hope is the religion of New York City. Yeah, not to get too like existential, but that is what drives New York City. Like, nobody moves to New York City because they don't have, because they just want to kind of, like, see what it's like to live a mediocre life. Like, you move here because you have hopes and dreams and you hope to achieve them in New York, and we never lost hope. It's just the weirdest thing. Like, every single year we would have this, like, delusional Knicks fan thing where, like, yeah, this is the year. We're taking it all the way with Emmanuel Moutier, you know, and Jared Jack. And shout out to both of them. But, like, Enos Kanter is going to bring us a chip. We would believe we believed every single year for 42 years of my life, 53 years of other people's lives. And I think that's fucking awesome. It makes it that much sweeter. It makes it that much sweeter that like every single year felt like our year. Like I was looking through my phone. People are sending me videos. People send me videos of like a decade ago of me going, nah, Knicks are taking it this year. And then you look at the lineups of these teams. There's no way the Knicks are taking it this year. But we believe that that is one of those beautiful things about New York. And even the people that moved to New York to make a life here is they truly believe. They believe something crazy, something magical can happen. And that's exactly what we all got to witness. Also, I'm doing this movie out in California and they shaved my mustache. And it took like five, ten years off of my life. I feel like I'm on guy code again. It's absolutely insane.

I don't even know if I'm looking into the right part. I don't even know where the camera is. I'm recording this on my phone, obviously. But, yeah, they snatched my stash, bro. The games were nuts. We're going to get to this episode. It's a phenomenal episode. You guys are going to love it. This is the jersey that I wore when we finished it up. Game five in San Antonio. I was at game three, four, and five. How fucking lucky. How lucky. How incredible. Think about that. Think about that. Four was the greatest sporting event That I'll ever experience in my entire life I'll never experience anything like that That is it It's all downhill from here When it comes to sporting events And then five was just complete euphoria Like, I gotta be honest The San Antonio fans were very cool They're very sweet Like, they're great fans And they're used to winning So I think it's, you know They're not, like, combative Like, but with all due respect to San Antonio fans It was a home game in there I mean, I'm being conservative when I say this. 40% of the arena Knicks fans. They were booing Spurs players while they shot free throws at home. It was... Anyway, okay. I've talked too long on this, but God bless New York, man. We can start focusing on the World Cup after the parade on Thursday. Shout out to Tartan Army, the Scottish taking over Boston. The World Cup is really, like, an amazing event, like, outside of the sport. Like, it might be, like, the most incredible act of humanity that exists. Just seeing people from all around the world embrace different cultures and see, like, the most beautiful, passionate parts of them. And, yeah, it's pretty awesome. Whatever, we'll talk about that. I'll be out here for a few weeks. We've recorded some dope apps for you guys to check out. So enjoy Ali Sadiq. He's got some amazing stories. You're going to find out who the hottest white woman in prison was. Just some. amazing like stand-up stuff and uh yeah just great great episode hilarious guy you know it's almost drowned great story but uh i mean just just awesome stuff so enjoy love you guys so much god bless the nicks god bless new york city god bless you all peace what's up everybody and

welcome to flagrant and today we are joined by a favorite guest of ours who is back uh i think one of the most prolific comedians out right now maybe ever just the volume is absolutely insane he is yet another special do you know how annoying it is that you have released multiple specials before I barely got back on the road from my last special and I'm here to celebrate I have to celebrate you but also like man I'm not working hard enough man it's Ali Sadiq he's back in the building um listen this is perfect timing you know because houston's own just put out a triple album you know so uh does houston claim does houston claim drake um i like how we get political

right off the top well i i don't think my era claims drake i think whatever that area is he's in claims, but I've never been. Oh, Drake's from Houston. I'm like, no, I don't think I ever even said Drake hung out in Houston. Really? It's not, I'm not, this is what it is about Drake. Okay, music, okay, cool. Music is cool. Ali, I love you, bro. I love you.

The second I saw him adjust his seat, I'm like, all right, take it away, bro. Take it away. Let me tell you something.

The music was cool because of this. To me. Yeah. Because it was so much familiar music that I had already heard growing up. So I could see the emulation in when you did the Too Short joint, when you did the Pimp C joint, when you did. So it's like, it's familiar to me. I'm like, oh, okay, I remember this. But it's not really celebrating. You were celebrating the era where I know you got it from. Right. So I wasn't like, oh, Drake is the man. I've never gave him that lyrically. Really? It's better lyricists than Drake.

Who for you is top three, top five?

Lyrics? Just lyrics. Oh, just lyrics. The story's telling guru of all times is Slick Rick. How he paints a picture is phenomenal.

Yeah, okay.

Then you have to, can I put them together? because I heard somebody say that another group was the greatest group of hip-hop of all time. I was like, so y'all never heard of Run DMC? Wait, hold on, hold on. Who'd they say was the other greatest group? And I like both groups. Outkast? Outkast. And I like both groups. That's hard to think. But you can't, it's just one of them things,

you're going to put over Run and Daryl Mack? This is where, like, our age is showing a little bit. Like, the way something affects you when you're in your formative years, you know, like, it's like the way that we look at Jordan, nobody could look at Jordan that grew up with LeBron.

But see, the thing is, before Jordan, because I didn't grow up yelling Jordan, it was always Dr. J. It was in different eras. Not even Hakeem when you were in Houston? No, Hakeem came with Jordan. I'm 52. too. They was already, I'm a bean. I'm living already. I'm already watching basketball. So Dr. J was number one. Dr. J was the number one guy. Yeah. Even over Kareem. I didn't grow up yelling Kareem that time. Even though I knew this, even though I was

trying to get the sky hooked down. But you want to play like Dr. J. Dr. J was

crazy. Join him on to play like Dr. J. So the thing is how do you, and I'm just not one of the people that skip over the original idea for the take on the idea. Especially if you lived through the original idea. I'm old as hip-hop, but hip-hop wasn't. Oh, shit. Just think about it. Hip-hop did turn 50. That's crazy. It's 52 now. I'm 52. So I remember when it wasn't hip-hop yet. It wasn't, the Voltron hadn't happened yet. It was rapping. It was just called rapping. It wasn't the dancing yet and the fashion and all of these things. It hadn't combined yet to become hip hop.

Wasn't it also like there was like a DJing aspect too? DJing, you know, but that's the part with the MC. I'm seeing you for the beat. But, and then this thing, before people had beat machines, I had a dude named Herb. Okay. He beatin' on his chest. He beatin' on the car. He was in his mouth. It's the human jock box. It's the fat boys. And then the skinny boys. It's that doody fresh. It was like, make the music with your mouth big. What they think this game, what they thought he was doing. He was beatboxing, so it wasn't a, hey, this is by, this is a mustard on the beat. No, it's Herb on the beat. Herb is the beat. Herb is the beat. You know what I mean?

That's so funny.

So, you know, you got to think about how the overall thing, like, when you talk about great producers, they don't talk about everybody else but leave out Herbie Lovebug or Herbie Hancock. Like, how do you leave out these people who, in the beginning, the beginning people.

You know Herbie Hancock. Herbie Hancock was on the, wasn't he on the Constitution? You got it, you got it. Isn't that, no, no, John Hancock, John Hancock. That's a signature. That's his nephew, his nephew, Herbie.

That's the thing, you can't, it's like even with like podcasting or late night shows, how do you just put somebody else over the original idea? Because it was somebody that originally did this first. Who was your original for the late night shows? Oh, man, you're going to have to go Johnny Carson. Now, would you consume Carson, like, in your house? Yeah, I'm a kid. It's like when I'm growing up, Johnny Carson is coming on this TV. When we were growing up, there was one TV. So it was like a house. We had two TVs. You had one at the bottom that didn't work that good, and then you put the other one.

That's two TVs.

like it was a familial event watching something you together you know like bonanza man i'm never gonna not like bonanza i don't know what is this is my this is my first soap opera this is this is like this is like oh man this is a great show like i grew up carol burnett right this is my first comedic you know person you know there's a oh man this is do you understand bonanza i hope you guys are watching the video of this look how fly look how fly they with me look at this jacket bro look at the scarf i had that on last night Like, yo, this is, this is, man, this is a classic show and things always happen. And, and, and, it's like, look, they made this guy's back head.

That's the standard for TV back in the day.

Things are always happening. I'm talking about my own bananas. This is just White Shaft. If I could do. No, no, you got to go. You got to get to look, look, look, watch out now. You know, the Cartwrights, the Cartwrights are the first, like, cowboy mob family. There wasn't nothing jumping off without Cartwright's involvement. If I could do a black version of this, it'd be crazy. They need to bring this back, man. I'm telling you, if you sit down and watch Bonanza, then you'll call me and be like, yo, Bonanza's crazy. This is a great show. But just think, my first comedic influence, Carol Burnett. it's not the watch listen to richard prye albums i'm first interested in comedy because of how funny carol burnett was i would watch the carol burnett show and it was hysterical really like carol burnett show is hysterical like if you go back and you look at all the shows that we watched that we came up on like i have a strong argument when people try to say that you know tv is an idiot box. No, it's the idiot that's in front of the box. That's what you're choosing to watch. You know what I'm saying? It's like if you sit up, oh man, you talking about a hysterical show. This show is hysterical. It's like, and all the different characters that Carol Burnett played. It's like she doesn't get enough recognition amongst people for comedy. This is like, this came on to, man. come on he just walked in with just like this is crazy like this is a crazy show so i went back

and watched a bunch of i love lucy oh man and i was i was shocked at how funny it was yeah what like because in my mind i'm like i don't know sometimes i watch old stand-up like lenny bruce and i'm like it's i can appreciate what it was in the time but it's not funny to me now the way it was then.

But I'll watch I Love Lucy And I was expecting it to be the same thing Like corny jokes

It was legit funny situations So the thing is you said that it's not funny as it was back then You would have to travel back in time And go back then and be like The context But you have people that have transcended Time I think Pryor does that A lot of people do it Pryor is like top tier And I think that people get When Pryor is not your your focus oh it's prior or like i i like richard pryer but he wasn't cosby to me yeah cosby was and cosby still holds up like well comedically he cosby is like the pinnacle and then you have you have don rickle you have don rickle don holds up yeah i'm saying and that that's the that's the thing you you have comics throughout comedy history that hold the the test of time but

it's hard with stand-up though man it's very hard they're like movies that you can watch from back in the day and you can be like holy shit this is an amazing film and there's a lot of them like you can watch Shawshank Redemption right now and you can be like this is one of the best films I've ever seen in my life I'll watch like shitty action movies from when I was a kid and I'll be like this is this is Armageddon I showed my wife Armageddon she's like how did I not know about this movie I was like, because you were zero when you came out.

He just described Armageddon to me. I was like, what is the movie about? And he just explains it. In three minutes of the explanation, he starts going. I started crying, bro. He went up on the asteroid and blew it up. No, no, no. He's trying to cry and just explain that.

And he goes, requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met. That shit, I can't even talk about right now. I can't talk about right now, bro.

That movie's a kid. Shout out for the sports, man. The legend. It's like, you sound like my mom when she's watching Officer and the Gentleman. When he came through, he carried her through the thing.

I saw a TikTok that fucked me up today, man. There's something about my algorithm where like, like seeing Chinese dads like from China, like give up their daughter in like marriage or whatever like that. They got to take the hand and put the hand in the husband's hand. and it's like it's over and there's this one where like he says it it's in chinese but they're subtitling he might not even be saying this shit he might be like take this bitch i'm done with her right like but it says uh if you ever don't if you ever find yourself not in love with her please please bring her back to me or something like that and i was like god damn oh here it is oh he's speaking english i didn't even know i didn't even know They got the COVID mask on. Because you're not used to seeing them get emotional.

You don't see them emotional. I think that you're not used to seeing...

Chinese people emotional. No. I don't see it often. You don't see it that often. I see white people and black people and Latinos get emotional, but Chinese emotion, you never see that shit. They're stoic. They'll wait 50 years for revenge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they don't just cry. And my whole algorithm is just Asian dads. That's it. It's the whole algorithm. Asian dads, bring it down. That's it. And it gets me every single time. You know what? What gets you? You're an emotional guy.

Just kids. You know, something happening with kids. It bothers me. You know, if I could, if they would, if the United States would legally allow me to be like a vigilante and anybody who hurt kids and you just let me take care of it, I would do it. Like, I would sign up, like, right away. Like, it's like, yo. You wouldn't be a vigilante in that case. And they would give me a list. Like, these are all the people that you can legally take out of here any type of way you want to because they hurt kids. I'm like, I would be so diligent on that list. You'd be like Santa Claus. Like, my list, I'm talking about it would be, I would be getting it done. They would be amazed. I would come back like, no, no. More. He's done like four lists. Like, everybody else is still on their first list. But he's like, he's getting the business. He's still the business. Like, I'm like, yo, this list is kind of short, ain't it? Like, I'm like, this is just in one city? Because I'm, oh, yeah, it's going to be, and I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it, it's going to be bad. It's going to be bad. Like, I'm leaving bodies places, like, in bed. He's like, you want the commission? I'll do this for free. He was on the list. Yeah. Like, just, and I'm not, like, I'm like, I'll be like what they call Malika Malt. I'm not wavering. Like, I'm not, like, it's nothing you can say to me. Like, it's like, once you see me and you know that you're on this list, you know you did something. That's it. Like, oh, it's, it's, hey, bro, it is what it is. It's like, you ever seen, um. Jason. No, what's that movie? Um, oh, No Country for Old Men. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah, yeah. That was on there with the, with the, with the, oh, yeah. Javier Bardem plays the guy. Oh, he was, yo, flip the coin. Oh, you ain't got to do this. Yeah, we got to do it. I only had no coin. I'm like. You're on the list. You're on the list. It's a mistake. I don't know about that. You got to do that.

You got to do that whenever you get the chance. If you had the same name as someone you know is on the list, you got to change your name. Oh, man. Because Ali's coming. I'm coming.

I'm coming. And I got plans for you. I've already thought about what I'm going to do. Each one's going to be different, but it's going to be a bag. Whether it's a little bag or a small bag. You're like, yo, did you see the one that he left? It was just like a soup bag. It was like it was a bag with a little. Like a boil? Like a crab boil? Yo, he's wild.

Have you seen Dexter? You're familiar with Dexter, right?

I've seen it.

He goes out and kills serial killers? Yeah. Or he kills bad people, right? He kills bad people. I thought it was serial killers. Nah, it's like anybody. It's only serial killers? No, no, no. It's just like anybody who's bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. We like that. That's kind of.

I would definitely be like.

Like you did a job. Could you deal with the violence aspect though? Like would that be difficult? He just said it'd be bad. Like what? Like what? Do you know the. Oh fuck. What's the name of it? Let's rap about it. You know the let's rap about it pot. It's got Maino, Jim Jones, Davies and Fabulous. Have you ever seen these guys? Bro, they were doing, they asked them a question. They're like, what would you do if you guys weren't rapping? And then they said different things. Like, maybe I'd be in fashion. Maybe I'd do this. Maybe I'd do that. And then Mano goes, I'd be a serial killer. It's not a job, bro. It's a hobby.

This is the exact attitude that I'm doing right now. If I wasn't a comic, I'd be a chef. You know, I already know. You know, still cutting stuff. You know, that takes me back to thinking about when people talk about eras of things. So I was doing somebody else's podcast, not going to give them the name. Shout them out. Oh, no, I'm not trying to shout them out. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I was giving a take on something on somebody else's podcast. And I'm talking from what happened in the 90s. Yeah. Then somebody else was on that same podcast and said what I said was BS. But then I went and looked up when they were locked up. They were locked up in 2014. Ah, so it's a very different time. It's a different time. And I think that some guys, and I texted the person on the podcast. I say, from what I'm hearing, what I'm not going to allow you to do is get me into no beef with somebody over an era that they didn't understand. Right. I say, because it'll go there, and that's the thing. But me being intelligent enough to understand that you're speaking from a different era than what this was. That's like me talking about, oh, what would have never happened in the 50s. I wasn't in the 50s. Can't say. I just know what was happening in the 90s. And sometimes people speak on things without understanding the era.

Yeah, that's podcasting. It's kind of the medium.

Yeah, and that's the thing. It's like people—

But if you're in a room, it's kind of difficult. When you're in a room with someone who's had the experience, it's kind of difficult to be like, no, you didn't have that experience that you're telling me about.

But the great thing is, this person had an experience, but in 2014. It's not the same in 1993 in 2014. Y'all didn't even have canned goods when you were locked up. You had pouches. So how are you going to talk about what we would have did in 93 when we had canned goods? Yeah, yeah. Two different eras. Yeah. You know, I remember when people used to drink out of the water holes outside or out of a hydrant. Just random. Oh, yeah. But now it's, oh. Like, I'll never forget my cousin was thirsty and I had some water. And I was like, yeah. He's like, man, I ain't drinking after you. Like, since when? Like, since when? Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, we shared a garden ride.

We drank out in the same jug in the house. Like, what are you talking about? I ate half of my ice cream and you ate the other half. You invite me. Are you insane?

Like, then I had one cousin who still lives in that era. Like, I was, what that fool said to me, he's like, yo, man, scratch my back. I'm like, I didn't scratch your back. He's like, what, you gay? I'm like.

because I know I would have scratched his back and he's like and he's like no, no, no you can't get into it I'm like

and then after that like yo, you still he's like no I'm like why are you

just stop

I thought you were doing it it's a different it's a different era like we talked about the Chucks, right? yeah this is the original color. There was no color chucks. And we dyed them with food color. Like Easter eggs. If we wanted to know the color, we would dye them. But people, like I refuse. He told us they sold chucks at the grocery store. Yeah, like you can get chucks anywhere. The freezer section. And they was, the high tops was $12. The low tops was $8. So just imagine, I remember I'm in, I'm like mid-40s at the time, and I'm appalled. I'm like, yo, I'm going to go buy me a fresh pair of Chucks. And I went and them Chucks was like $50 or something. It was like $64 in tax. And I was like, I'm not buying, I'm not paying this for no Chucks. I'm not buying a real sneaker. And I refused. I took a stand on the Chucks.

He just bought your vegetables and went home?

I'm left. I'm like, I ain't buying these shoes. This is crazy. But I bought some, like, maybe three months ago, I bought some black ones to start doing squats in because they flat.

Don't work out in these shoes. Don't put yourself through that. I think that's why they dribbled like that back in the day. You can't cross over in these. Yeah, you're totally hurt. There's no way I...

That's one of the things people talk about who had the best crossover. I'm going to always still say Tim Hardaway. because of it was no it's a different crossover it was no this no it was quick it was no carry it was a it was in so Skip to Malou oh wow Skip to Malou had a crazy crossover you understand

Tim's was deceptive man cause Tim Tim was so shifty and like I'm a Knicks fan so I got to see Tim's crossover I'm a Knicks fan

so I'm like Tim was crazy

but look at that it was the between the leg cross a lot of people just do that regular cross in front but he would go Oh, yeah, he was filthy.

Just filthy. And then who the next? Abdul Raoaf. Right after that, his cross was bananas. Yeah, but... But it's not that carrying. He didn't pledge allegiance, bro, so... Man, but still, he was still... Everybody apologized to him. They did a documentary on that. They knew they was wrong for that.

What happened? This guy was basically like Steph before Steph. Way before. Like, lights out shooter. And what was the deal? He wouldn't stand for the National Anthem or something like that? Yeah, he didn't want to stand for it. And, but he was unbelievable. Who'd he play for? Wow, he was taking a knee back.

The Nuggets. Denver Nuggets. Yeah. But he was filthy. He came from LSU. I mean, unbelievable. I'm talking about unbelievable. The pull up was crazy. Like he, I remember when he gave Chicago the business. 50 piece? Oh, this is the part that people don't say about this. So they, he's giving everybody the business. So then they try to put everybody on him. Everybody. And Scottie, Jordan grabbed Scottie and was like, you hold him. You know what I'm saying? And then Scottie was getting roasted. Then Jordan tried to hold him. He cooked Jordan. Wow. And then they put like Paxton on him or curry or somebody. You can't do it. And it was like, it was crazy. I never heard of this, but.

You remember him. This was like a big story back in the day. Oh, damn it. You got a couple. He was cooking. I mean, just filthy. Quick release, like, again, it was a very different game. Like, they didn't shoot threes like they do now, but, like, just lights out.

Like, it was— And so the team dropped him, and no one re-signed him because he wouldn't stand for the— Basically blackballed for the league. Yeah, they blackballed him. They did the same thing to Craig Hodges, though.

Yeah, well, because he didn't go to the White House?

No, because he wore Dashiki to the White House.

What?

Really? Yep. If you was Muslim and you were in the NBA at this time, you were getting shunned. It's like when they talk about the 50 greatest centers, they talk about the greatest centers. They leave out Hakeem all the time, which is insane. No, that's crazy. Yeah, that is insane. Which is insane.

Nobody's leaving out Hakeem from the top 50 centers.

Oh, man, they do it all. They do it all.

You can't.

No, I'm talking about when they do the top. 50 players ever.

they do the top five, send it to me.

Ah, okay. When they do the top five, Kareem, it's going to be... Will, Bill Russell, Shaq, not in this order, Hakeem. You put two Muslims up there, that's fire. Yeah. I mean, like, who else would you put there? Kareem, Bill Russell, Will, Shaq, Hakeem. Hakeem got the rings, Pat Ewing doesn't have the rings.

Who else would be there? They'd be throwing all type of people up there. I'm glad that you mentioned Bill Russell, because they'll leave Bill Russell out as the greatest player. I'm like, but Bill Russell, he was playing against the Mormons. Like, what? He wasn't playing against only one guys. He was playing against everybody that was available to play against. That's true. That's true. That's very true. That's the thing. It's like, they don't take, this new NBA is a travel league.

In Boston, think about this. Like, Boston is like divided, segregated, racist as fuck. Like, they let him coach.

That's how incredible. They let him coach and play. He played and coached, and he won two rings. Wow. As he played and coached. There's no player today that can sub himself out.

Wait, he was playing and coached at the same time? He was playing and coached at the same exact time. How many rings did he win? He won two as a player coach, but before that he won nine. And, I mean, yeah, this is a time where, like, he couldn't even stay at, I think, similar hotels when they went south and shit. Like, it was insane. But was the play always just pass it to me? No, he was defensive specialist. He was defensive. He could control the whole game. And he's 6'8". And amazing rebounder. Wow. My dad said that's the best guy I ever played. My dad said that's the most dominant person he ever saw play the game was Bill Russell. And this is during Wilt when Wilt is putting up insane video game numbers. But he said Russell could dominate the game defensively in a way that you've just never seen.

And people just skip over. They skip all the way to whoever's current. But when I watch LeBron, no knock on LeBron. LeBron is a good player. But if LeBron does 10, get the ball 10 times and he scores 10 times, out of those 10, he's traveled six. Like a legit. I would be the most hated referee all the time. If I was repping right now, I'm like, yo, I don't care how fantastic it looks. You travel. Because it ain't no gather step. Now we got a gather step. It's been two steps. And you in the air. Not anymore. Not anymore. They making up rules.

Yeah, they found a way to add some more steps in there.

Oh, bro. I watched. It was a fantastic play the other night. Dude dunked on the dude. And I went back. And I rewound it. I said, now look at all these steps. Four steps.

It was five steps. Yeah, yeah. It was five steps. They kind of let you do whatever you want on the fast break. Have you noticed that? Yeah. When you do the fast break, you just pick up the ball wherever you want to dunk it.

Didn't Wembe go a whole court with just one bounce or some shit like that? Is he holding the ball at that time? He was probably holding the ball right there. Yeah. Walking. LeBron be traveling, man. One, two, three, four.

LeBron is crazy 1, 2, 3 Hey, they don't care

1, 2, 3 They talking about Oh, these names of people Yo, he's literally walking You gotta get the Russell Westbrook 1, 2, 3, 4 Yo, what are you doing? Ball going out the way Are you insane right now?

Get the Russell Westbrook travel Well, this is a legendary, he didn't even, Russell Westbrook. Wow. Oh, now they call it. They call it that one.

They couldn't believe it. He's like, what? What did I do? Look at, watch this, watch this, watch this. Oh, Russell is literally walking down. Just watch this. Hold on, watch. Oh, I've seen this. This is crazy. Yo, what are you doing, bro? What are you doing? He was coming home from school. What are you doing, bro? Look at him. I remember, Russell's like, what? Y'all don't do this, y'all. Come on, y'all. So only LeBron can do this, right? Nah, bro. Look at Steph.

Look at Steph.

Like, yo!

Look at Steph telling. Look at Steph telling on him. That really is a 3v3, like, travel. Like, you're just, like, playing in the court.

Yo, like, he a referee. Like, balled out.

All right, dude. No, you got a point. Y'all got a point. I'm going to be out in L.A. shooting a movie this summer, but we added some stand-up shows. So pull on up, man. We're going to be in Pasadena, California at the Ice House the 19th and 20th of June.

The Ontario Improv will be there the 26th and 27th. And then the Brea Improv will be there July 17th and July 18th. And then we're going to be at the Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, Great Outdoors Fest, August 8th. So you can go grab tickets to any of those shows if tickets are still available, theandrewsholes.com. All right, Mark, what do you got?

Oh, I have great news. I'm going all over at the end of the year. I'm going to Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, California, San Diego, California. And then I'm also going to a couple other spots that are going to be coming up at the end of the year, like Detroit, Michigan and Salt Lake City, Utah. And I can't wait to see you guys all there. Mark Yagnon live.com. Alex.

Guys, my monthly comedy show is back. Canceled Comedy is on June 24th. We have a killer lineup. Get your tickets at canceledcomedyx.com. And then my tennis series, theallloveclub.com. The tennis is on July 25th. I'll see you guys there. The first one was fantastic. The second one's going to be even better.

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Wow! I am clear in the rest of the day.

Disney and Pixar's Hoppers, now available on Disney+. Rated PG.

What is the greatest sporting event you've seen with your own eyes? Like, you were in the building or at the event? Is it professional?

Because it's been a kickball. We was down, like, by nine runs. I'll take that one. What happened? Man, came back, man. Herb on the beatbox. No, no, no, no, no.

We will, we will rock you.

I'm just saying. Everything is not professional. I think that's the thing that people think also. If it's professional, that's the greatest.

Bro. No, that one meant more to you, probably. It does.

It does. A little intramural game in college. You start seeing it falling apart. Like, yo, you start to come back. Like, when you come back, I've come back in the game with 21. You know what I'm saying? Like, I was down. But I can hoop. I was down, and it just started. And 21 is a harder game than regular basketball because everybody's against it. Whoever's playing is playing you. They're guarding you. Like, everybody. If it's nine people playing, it's like it's eight against one every time you touch the ball. So to win that game, I would love to see pros, because all of them came up playing 21 or tip out or whatever. I would love to see all the pros. Ice Cube need to add this to the big three. Just a game of 21 with all pros and tip out count. Now, tip out is going to be the worst.

Okay, we got to explain to people who maybe didn't grow up playing 21. So there's a game that you play when you usually have an odd number of dudes. When will you not play 21?

I will never not play 21. Meaning, like... Even if it's even. Even if it's even. You're crazy. You know, we playing 21. That's selfish. No, because... You don't want to pass. We let everybody play because it's going to be somebody... Let me tell you how... Oh, because you don't want the bum on your team. How you get an even number 21.

You right.

Let's just explain the game to people real quick.

So basically, like, you would usually play it when you had, like, five guys or whatever. So you didn't want to play two on two and just leave one guy out or whatever. You're waiting for a six. And it's basically everyone for themselves. Everyone can D up on somebody if they wanted, but usually it's kind of like one-on-one. And you've got to get to 21, and every bucket you score, you get to go to the free-throw line, and you get to shoot one.

So every bucket is two, and the free-throw is one. Every bucket is two, and every free-throw is one. And then you get three shots.

Exactly.

You get three free-throws.

You get three free-throws. But then when you hit 21, you've got to hit it from the top of the key.

Y'all had to hit it from top. I was anywhere. Anywhere, you know what I'm saying? But once you get to 19, if you miss that shot or you go to the free throw, say if you got 20 and you go to that free throw and you miss, you go back to 15.

But then there's also the tip-in. So if you miss a shot, someone rebounds and puts it right back in, you go down to 12. But you can't be on your feet. You got to be in the air. And then you out. I missed 21, man. So how do you play even?

okay so it's it's everybody that's out there it's four people and i'm not picking rick rick sucks yeah yeah so rick is gonna have to play until somebody else come we playing 21 to somebody else because we know

Or it's somebody where it's not fair. Someone's too good. Man, you got somebody who, yo, he played college ball. We in middle school. We playing 21. You're not going to get your duke off on us. Or it's somebody grown. It will be some grown dude who's supposed to be in the league, but liquor got him. And now he out there schooling, he out there teaching everybody how this really go, why he should have been in the league. And he playing 21, he got to put a stipulation on his own stuff. I ain't even going to be in the paint. Left hand only. I'm from outside. Everything from outside. And that's how you end up playing 21. And you want to tip him out back, but he ain't missing. Nope. He is not. I'm telling you, and he calling you. Y'all don't come back here with me? So I've seen a lot of great shooters for years. Like, I know Steph is—do you remember Thunder Dan? Yeah, of course, Dan Marley. So Thunder Dan, Marley was shooting him and the Rifleman and Reggie Miller. It's like they forget all these long— He's just doing it more. What about Mad Max? Mad Max. You know, Mario, Ellie, and then what's my man got all the rings.

You want to go crazy. What is it? The Serbian guy who was nasty. Zaza Petrovic. No, something Petrovic. What was my man name? And then he passed away tragically or something like that. Remember what I'm talking about? Yeah, he was crazy. But he was on the nets, and he put up like a 40 ball. Look what Thunder Dan is shooting from. Yeah, no, it was crazy. Hat logo. That's it. Wow. You know who else is dirty? Chris Mullen. Chris Mullen. Oh, I remember Chris Mullen. But see, this is the thing. They forget about these people because Steph does it more. The game changed also in that, like, the three-point shot wasn't as big a deal back in the day. But it was nasty. Yeah, he's filthy.

Yeah, he's filthy. Thunder Dan was crazy, man. Chris Mullen was insane. Yeah, nasty.

I remember. Nasty.

I went to his basketball kid.

In the city? Yeah. Really? Yeah. He's a city kid. He went to St. John's.

That's the single greatest team that was assembled that never did. They coached them all. Man, they had—Golden State had everybody, bro. It was Chris Mullen. Was it— Weber. But Hardaway. Hardaway. Chris Mullen, Hardaway. They had a squad. The squad was insane, man. Coach, man.

Why didn't anything happen with them?

The coach. The coach, man. And the coach, the coach sucked, man. Coach sucked.

How'd you end up being a Knicks fan? Man, Patrick Ewing. But like, came from Georgetown. But you were a big Georgetown fan? Yes, who wasn't? That was black. That was black. So this is, my dad was a Georgetown fan. What was it called? John Thompson. John Thompson wouldn't, he wouldn't put white guys on the team. No, there wasn't no white guys. this is what my racist ass uncles would say this is what my racist ass uncles would say how is there a team in Washington D.C. there's no white players it's like Texas it's like West Texas no but it was Georgetown

and like AI was there man Georgetown was crazy and this is when this is when you win the jerseys were crazy too that was the best jersey yeah yeah yeah Remember the starter jackets? Yeah, yeah. The starter jackets was insane. And this was when Pat had the part down the middle.

Look, the shaved in.

And then we was waiting to see where Pat was going. And Pat went to the Knicks. He was like, hell yeah. And then he had the Adidas. The Adidas that was dope. Oh, those high-ass, like super chunky. Not his own shoes, the Ewins. When he had the first pair of Adidas, the orange and blue ones, the Knicks colors. The first pair of these was knack. Like, look at Pat, man. At Georgetown.

That's not the Georgetown jersey, though. The one that was gray.

I don't know what that one is.

It was, like, gray and black. There you go. Yeah. Right there. Yeah, John Thompson. My dad was a Georgetown fan, too. Was that just, like... I thought it was a black team. Yeah. Because, like, Duke kind of felt like the white team or whatever. And then Georgetown felt like the black team.

Even though Duke had some nasty... Like, it was, they had some nasty players over there. Duke had some nasty.

Yeah, Grant Hill was filthy.

Oh, was he? Grant Hill was.

Like, he's a guy, like, if he doesn't have the ankle issues in the league, that's basically, like, LeBron before LeBron.

My fondest memory of Grant Hill was TSU.

Texas Southern University was in the final, was in the tournament. And I'll never forget, number 55, whatever his name is, they up. I don't know why TSU is up. They hit a dude here, three-pointer. And Grant Hill is kind of like coasting. Like, you know, I ain't even did nothing yet. And literally, dude hit a shot, and he's scooting back like, yeah. And I'm sitting there like, no, don't say nothing to him. let sleeping dog man and then the very next play it's like I don't know who threw this ball to Grand Hill but he dunked like he fell from the rafter and dunked and swung over in front of the TSU cheerleaders like y'all know I'm going to the league right and then went on some insane type of run like yo man why are y'all messing with this man oh my god Grady was insane. Grady was insane. He was insane with his box. Wow. Duke and Kansas. But just think, man, how many great players if Jay wouldn't have had the motorcycle accident? And if... I beat Jay one-on-one. In what? Basketball. On the computer?

On the computer. Jay challenged me

he challenged me one on one and I had to beat him this is a real thing man it's crazy unfortunately I had to beat him

I mean

we had to beat

what Jay are we talking about

I showed up in a Maryland jersey I took off the Maryland jersey I'm in the North Carolina jersey

you gotta set the stage what is what is what is what is really happening there Look at this defense. I'll cook you. Look at lockdown.

Look at this lockdown. Lucky-ass bank shot. Who's a bank shot from 12 feet? I made a J even sweating. You got to sweat against me. I'm up 6-4, mind you. Look at me. I'm up. So I let him get back in the game. What did it start at? No, it started 0-0. I let him get back in the game. Let's just look at foul. That's offensive. Offensive foul. Listen, now he's just going straight to the cuff. He doesn't have confidence in the jumper anymore, right? Because I took that away from him, right? And the game gets—

Because you see how you were just on your toes? But look at that D. It's locked down. He had a mosaic accident. I'm exhausted. I'm so tired. I've never been to tired my entire life. But because you come up on your toes, that's when they cross off, I'm going to cook you.

I'm in front of him, though. And now he's crying about a foul. This is my pain right here.

You're not coming into it. Hey, hey, hey. Look at this. And I'm there. And you there. Yeah, I'm going to get you there. Give me that ball. Give me that ball.

You screaming for him. He's a real one-on-one game. He's doing Jay's monologue right now. Come on, man. Jay trying to do some bullshit right now. Look at this push-off. Look at this push-off. There's some net. Look at this. Look at that push. Yo, you hacking him. Look at him. You hacking him. When do you get the ball? You know, I'm yelling at them on the side. Just keep touching the ball. Don't get out the fuck out the way. Let me get that board. Why do you have on North Carolina? Because I was trying to get in his head. I showed up in Maryland and then North Carolina, two biggest rivals. Look how sweaty he is, man. I'm not falling for any pump fakes, nothing. His shoes are breaking down. He wore stockings. He knew he was going to have a real war out there. do you have what you have on your ankles I got ankle braces where I'm playing against an NBA player that was a lucky ass shot now this is listen this is where this is where he gets a little too cocky and one thing I always say is don't get cocky with me you know what I mean be grateful be humble you gotta be grateful you gotta be humble if you get cocky with me horrible things can happen so he gets a little cocky he sees the cameras are out there and you know he gets he's never playing in front of cameras he never played in front of cameras and he gets back on the motorcycle I told him. I said, don't get back on the bike.

Oh, my God.

Look at what he tries to do to me. Disrespect me in front of my family. Look at what he tries to do. First of all, I'm locked in. I know every move he's about to do. Throws it off my head and tries to pull up. Worst thing you ever did in your life. Oh, if he hit that? I knew I was going to miss. I knew I was going to miss. Hold on. I knew I was going to miss. Hold on. I get the board. I get the board and now I'm setting them up now I'm setting them up let me slow them down Let me slow him down here. Boom! There you go! Pull up! Now, look at me looking at him right here. Look at me looking at him. Look at that! Look at that! Unbelievable!

Do you believe in miracles?

Do you believe in miracles?

Do you believe in miracles?

Look at... Is the game over? It's game over. Game is seven. The game was to seven?

Of course. Of course. Of course. Game over. Bro. That's it. Now, I will say he gave me six points to start. I just had to score one. Then you grabbed the trophy. I got my trophy. Yeah. Come on, Durs. You need a trophy. Who's that guy wrong? I don't know.

It was this guy in the back. This is just working out.

He's just winning the greatest basketball game of its entire life. On a treadmill. His kids are going to ask him what's the greatest. He spotted him six points. All he had to score was one point. I just had to score one. He had to score seven. Yeah. But that was his rules, not mine. I wanted to play a straight up game.

He took it to 6-6 already. You got cooked, Jay. You got cooked. I hate that for you because I'm telling you, if it's me and I'm playing against somebody, they give me six, we go into seven, I get the ball first, I'm cooking. Like, I'm, we're playing, it's going, I'm going to take that win. I'm going to take that win all day long. That's what I said. Hey, take the win. Hey, you brought these rules into it, got nothing to do with me. I didn't ask for that.

You almost lost, though. I made it interesting. I made it interesting. I understand television. I understand entertainment. I want people to be invested. I made the game seven. That's it. It had to be that. It had to be that.

I agree. and great conversation I mean it's ridiculous man it is so that was the greatest sporting event I've ever witnessed

that was it that was mine alright guys I'm going to be honest with you for a long time I was running my health on vibes don't do that I felt off I just pushed through it tired all the time That's just life. Something weird going on with my body. Probably nothing. I was out here doing full self-diagnosis based on absolutely zero information, like a toddler with a WebMD account. And the crazy part is, that's most people. Most people have no idea what's actually happening inside their body. They just adjust, compensate, pretend. So here's the thing about summer. It exposes you you're outside you're moving you're at barbecues eating stuff you know you shouldn't staying up late sweating through everything you own and whatever your body has been quietly dealing with all year it shows up the fatigue gets different in the heat recovery takes longer than it should you're exhausted after stuff that used to feel easy and instead of asking why most of us just go hmm and keep going but having it handled is not the same as knowing what's going on. Function gives you 160 plus lab tests a year. We're talking about magnesium, iron, hormones, all the markers that actually explain why you feel the way you feel. When something's off, you see it. Not guess at it. Not cope with it. You see it. And that's what actually knowing your body looks like. Wild concept, I know. So check your health the way that we do. 160 plus lab tests a year for $365. That's a dollar a day. And stop guessing. Join at functionhealth.com slash flagrant and use the code flagrant25 for a $25 credit. Now let's get back to the show. Blue Chew did it, bro. They did it. They did it. They upgraded. They got Blue Chew Gold. That bonus come in 15 minutes or less. I can tell you all the info about it. It doesn't really matter to you. What matters to you is that you're hard in 15 minutes or less. All the other stuff, we're talking about like 30 minutes. A lot can happen in 30 minutes. A lot can happen. You don't even know if you're getting laid 30 minutes before you're getting laid. Right? So now you're taking this pill. You don't even know what's going to happen. 15 minutes before you get laid, you know 100% you're getting laid. So they did it. They knocked it out of the park. So that's what you're going to do all summer. You're very welcome. You buy two months of Bluetooth gold. You get the third for free with the promo code flagrant. That promo code is flagrant. and you're also going to receive an additional 10% off free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit Bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the...

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and availability varies 18 plus i thought the knicks was gonna win the championship 94 this thing i'm the only person in the whole texas prison that's going for the knicks are they playing Yeah, we watched the game on TV, and we was doing well, and then we wasn't. And I remember when Houston won, and I'm coming into the cafeteria, it's like I knew something was up, because the cafeteria's always loud. It's like the cafeteria's quiet.

Because they know what you're going through.

No, they're waiting on me. It's totally quiet. and I come around the corner and as soon as I walk up to the cafeteria, ah! Ah, do y'all! I'm like, even the people that were lying with me, they were just oddly quiet. Like, you know, you always talking. Why are you just so quiet right now? Waiting to get into this cafeteria. It was like a celebration. Because you were suffering. Man, it was crazy. They knew how much shit you were going to talk. Oh, I was talking so reckless. I was talking reckless but it's the same like that with the Cowboys like in the 90s I hated the Cowboys I still hate the Cowboys but when they would win Cowboy fans it was terrible but when they would lose I had so many shenanigans so satisfying like it's like yo and then this is when you know when you know that you done got mad about something when you locked up and they they roofing somebody and you tell somebody well why don't you send Troy Aikman a commissary slip so he can send you some money since you love him so much. You stumped it. You know that's not going to happen.

But you're just so mad, man. What were the politics with watching sports in prison? Was there ever a situation where it's like, okay, these two games are on right now and one group gets to the side which game is watched?

And you think that we have cable? It's one game. They were playing on local TV is what we're watching. Fair enough. And when you're in a block where they have three TVs in different parts, they have two TV in each part. So it's three TV, three parts, three TV. One TV is designated for Hispanics. That's their TV. Telemundo, that's it. Then you have sports and all type of general stuff, but then you have the movie TV, like people watching regular TV. Now, the crazy thing is, Denise Austin would be on all three TVs in the morning.

She's what, like a news reporter or something?

No, she's a... She's a rover constructor.

Hilarious.

And then, we couldn't wait till Kyle Lenthe came on. It's the only time that you see all the blacks watching Kyle Lenthe in the Mexican theater. Like, no, there's no seat. We're going to firm up the front of your thighs, the outer thighs, the back of our thighs, and your inner thighs.

Just imagine a bunch of dudes in the morning watching this. Not one of them doing aerobics.

Not one of us doing aerobics. This is the greatest white woman of all time in prison. This is the greatest white woman. This is a savior in prison. And this is recent. This is not really her most exotic outfit. This is tame? Yeah, this is very tame. She's not even all the way tan just yet. You knew Denise's seasons? Yeah, but Denise Austin was crazy. Oh, okay. Trying to tell you. Okay, yeah, yeah. You see the tan?

Yeah, yeah.

You see that exotic pink outfit? Golden locks Just getting the tide coming in

I wonder if she knew how popular she was

In prison Goodness, she probably never did But Denise Austin was amazing Look how he's sitting

He's getting flashbacks right now

It's insane I forget I remember we was on lockdown one time And the TV came on And the CO came in and changed it from Denise Austin and we lost it. Why'd he change it? We lost it. Just being me. Oh, wow. He just, yo, we draw it in the water. He put it on like C-Span. He's like, yo, we want to kill him. This was every morning? Yeah, man. Just because it's on the local channel. Yeah, this is Channel 8.

Wow.

Like, PBS, Denise Awesome was insane. That's so funny.

But would there ever just be random stuff on the TV?

Like, it would be like a high school basketball championship, and you're like, all right, we're watching this now. High school basketball. Man, this ain't LeBron era. They wasn't showing no high school.

Yeah, you're doing, like, you got the news.

I imagine there's some sitcoms, though. You probably watch. Yeah, sitcoms. We watch that type of stuff. But did you just say, how old are you? I'm 29. Oh, no, that's why you think high school was televised. Like, that happened with LeBron. It was never a high school game ever watched on television before.

What about, like, in Texas, a high school football championship game?

Not even that? That's not coming on TV. Because that was huge. That's not coming on TV. Wow. Wow. That's—you got to go view that. You know, we was under that type of regime where you would view things with your naked eye. Unlike people now, you know, we spend a significant amount of money on these shows to do yonder.

Oh, because you don't want people on their phone?

We don't want people on their phone.

So you do that for every show? Every show. Every show that you do on the road, you're yondering it. Have you found a difference?

Yeah. Really? You pay attention until you get to, like, I think I've had, during the theaters, the worst thing about it is how people are conditioned to comedy now. You know, they condition to people doing crowd work. Yeah, yeah. They condition to having, seeing eight people before you come out. You know, they condition to these things. Yeah. So they show up, and then you have people who don't know you, they come in with somebody else or whatever, so they don't know that you do these long stories with these points, and then they come and they, or they conditioned to people doing their old stuff in front of new audience.

But I would figure your audience by now is conditioned to, like, what you do. Nah.

Really? it's still because the audience is still building a lot of these people haven't seen me live

so they see one story on social media or something they're like i gotta go check

and it was the craziest thing this is the other thing that i think people are conditioned crazy for it's people that have seen me on tick tock there's people that have seen me on instagram people have seen me on facebook but they don't know there's a whole special because they watching clips that is how most media is consumed now and and not watching the whole special which is crazy to me it's crazy i saw this but you didn't see the whole story so i i don't i don't get or somebody comment in a space and they don't know the whole story you you don't know the whole entire thing you just comment on just this right here which is i don't know i i guess humans are declining at a rapid rate of with with a attention span i think that's that's possibly i think it's definitely

true i also think that is like the one i don't want to say downfall but like the one potential negative to having stuff on the different social media platforms is you don't know how long they're going to consume of it and you don't know what parts of it they're going to consume whereas like when we were younger like i remember when patrice's elephant in the room came out and like we had like a watch party for the shit like we just sat down and watched it like i remember you know even like listening to delirious on cassette and it was just like this one experience where we just sat down me and my dad we just like listened to this audio cassette it was social yeah so there so i think now like maybe there is a version this really surprises me coming from you because i think you have such a specific style i would think that there would be an expectation set up with the audience for that. Long form story especially as you're doing the specials like there's going to be a cohesive theme in this like that's shocking to me that they're maybe you're growing at a rate where you have so many new people coming in it's the new people. That's probably it your OGs know what you're doing and they have

the expectation for it. I can tell them because it's the people that's on time these people know that I got I got one person that's coming out in front of me doing 15 or 20. And then I'm coming to do an hour and a half.

I think that this is something that's kind of like missed a bit. Like when we do the show, I think everybody has to decide what that amount of time is. But for me, I think that like hour 15, maybe hour 30, I think is like a real nice amount of time. But I mean that for the whole show.

Like, if you're doing an hour 30, I think it's smart you don't have four guys going up before you. Because by the time you go up, these people, let's say they're already drinking or doing something like that. They're an hour into the show, and then you're going to do another hour 30.

Yeah.

I don't think that's the best experience for the people that came.

So certain places I do by myself. Like, when I come to New York, when I'm at the Beacon, it's just me. Wow. No other person. You know, when I'm in Atlanta, just me. Detroit, it's like Chicago, just me. It's certain spots, I'm just doing just me because I want the whole entire time. Now, when I have somebody, it's crazy for, let me say the last three, four shows, right? I witnessed somebody coming in, like I was in Miami. How do you come in and I look at the clock? I just look at the clock, I'm at 57 minutes. How do you come in at a show, and I'm at 57 minutes, but in your mind you think, oh, it's going to be other people, and then we'll catch him at the end. And somebody came, I'm 45 minutes in, and they in the front. I have the room dark, pitch black, spotlight for a reason, not because I want to. I don't want to be distracted by people with all of movement. And I want the room totally still, like a play, because I'm not doing slapstick form. I'm not doing punchline set up, punchline set up. That's not what I'm doing. So I'm taking people on another ride, so I have to have the full attention. So I lock the phones up.

But don't, I wouldn't undercut yourself. You do have a lot of punchlines, and you do have a lot of jokes. It's not, there are certain people who I think, you're not doing it in a traditional, like here's my setup, misdirect. but you're not one of the guys that doesn't have jokes built in. And I think, yeah, I just don't want you to describe yourself in a way that's maybe not as elite, I think, as you are. There are guys who are doing long form, and it's kind of like stand-up, but also like storytelling. And there's a lower expectation for funny, I think, for that.

When I see some people's, what they call storytelling, I just be sitting there like...

and again it's like i'm not i'm not trying to knock anybody but it's like there is a way to tell stories and also have them be hilarious yeah i can't figure that part out i think so

have you ever had someone interrupt in a moment of the story that's really important for tension like have you ever like been building up specifically and you're like i'm about to come into like this really important part and then someone fucks it up i feel like it happened

in a special that one lady that called out yeah um she was she was being this what was that mondays right she was being disruptive before i even got to it so i it wasn't even it had nothing to do with what i was doing she was drunk and got into it with her husband oh wow so in this why we taping a special come on i went back and started over from where i was i was at oh really put that clip out you didn't see it in this in the actual special but we put that clip out because i wanted to keep it i'm like yo keep that part just for the content but i've had the the spotlight guy mess up you got one job bro like one like one job i think he was too engulfed in the story and forgot and not thinking I'm going to move he just took his hand off and then when I went over here and I stopped I'm like yo I need you over here for this part I was listening this is your fault so it's been you know it's been times where somebody would try to holler out something before I would say it But you don't know what I'm going to say. You don't know the story. So, and I would say, no, that's, and then I, you know, sometimes I stop and just, I don't like doing crowd work, but I'm very, very good. I've been good at it from, I want to, I'm going to do a, I'm going to do a show, what I'm going to show, and I'm going to call it, This Is So Easy. it's the easiest thing it's like if i come out doing crowd work that means i don't want to perform right like i have like in my mind i don't want to do it so i'm like all right but you shouldn't do it if you don't want to no this is the thing of how easy this is like when i used to host you know i'm coming out i know i'm gonna say this but i'm not really getting into no material because I'm saying setting the room up for somebody else. It's not for me. Right, right. You know what I'm saying? But I can see how these guys are like, man, this crowd work, I say, so this is funny that the crowd work guys, nobody is blaming anybody for stealing their material because what is the material? So y'all together? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you work at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know y'all messing around in there. Like, what is it? It all starts the same. it's no unique way to do it look at this shirt what is the so nobody's still this is nobody I would love to see the dude come back in the room like

I asked him what his shirt looked like first yeah

I hear you look at him look at him out there still in material asking people what they work at

he did my how'd you guys meet thing I will say that like guys who guys like patrice is a very different type of in my opinion crowd work because it's not like hey what do you guys got going on it's i'm gonna impose my will and my line of thinking on you and you are a vessel for that right so it's like you might actually be giving me friction right and that is a useful tool within this design like this is how i feel about the world and then I'm putting it on you. You work at a car dealership, like, okay, who gives a fuck if you work at the car dealership? You know what I mean? But I think there are different, I think you see a lot of like crowd work slop on the internet and you're just like, what the fuck is going on here? But like when I think of, when I think of like, you know, guys who are like really good and like elite at it, it's this interesting way of like almost like setting up the audience and like baiting them into something that kind of already exists. DL's nice at it.

D.L. was the pinnacle of it. Him, Robin Harris, and they would get ridiculed for, oh, Ali got his crowd work. Right. So this is another era of comedy. And who else was good at it was Joe Torre. You know what I'm saying? Joe Torre was good at crowd work. But that was the ridicule was Ali had was crowd work. So they developed a long show. But D.L. would take the last 10 minutes of his show, and he would do the whole front row.

And just mess with people.

And the craziest thing that he would take all these people, go through all this stuff, and then tie the last one into the first one. And you would be like, that's an amazing thing to watch.

There's levels to shit. That's what I'm saying. Like, there's levels to storytelling. there's levels to all different parts of the craft and I think the most like elite versions you start to like blend all these things together and when it becomes this like seamless blend you know like for example like impressions like I love like hearing impressions I think it's like I like if you did an impression right now I'd be like tell me more keep doing it but I don't I don't like consider it like elite stand up like it's you know what I mean it's just like a sound what what what but so my this is my i'm glad you said it because but let me say go ahead if you can do the impressions and there's a joke in the impression or you're creating this like this amazing world where there are these like like greer barnes is one of my favorite to watch and he can build these worlds i'm like the impression is just a tool in this fucking magical thing that you just built for these people. That, to me, I'm like, okay, let's stand up. But if you're on one of these cruise ships or something like that, or you go see these, and it's just like, here's what Bill Clinton sounds like. Here's what Christopher Walken sounds like. Here's what Trump sounds like. It's like, if I hear another fucking Trump impression, it's like...

So the impression thing to me, if you're doing impressions of somebody that I don't know, and you can get me engulfed in it. Like, you say you're doing your uncle. I've never heard your uncle before. And then you do an impression on it. Then later on, I actually see some of your uncle. I'm like, yo, he had his uncle's spot on. Yes. But if you're doing Denzel from Training Day.

Exactly. I hate you.

Because Denzel was in a lot of movies. Why is this the only one that you're doing in Training Day? I'm not even upset if you do Denzel on Training Day, but what is the bit? What is the joke? It's just you doing Denzel in Training Day. Or you're doing Burning Man. it's like when somebody does Jay-Z and they do what's wrong with current Jay-Z? I ain't heard Jay-Z do that I ain't heard him do that laugh but twice Jay-Z never said nothing else it's like you keeping them in this frame like LL when the last time that LL licked his lips like why is that I mean I watch him on what's the show that he on I watch him on CSI he would never lick his lips on there yeah yeah like so it's like it's it's like you kind of it's like you cheating the game you're saying it's like

there's almost like a shared impression it's everybody

doing the same joke

like I see everybody doing an impression of Shane's Trump yeah like Shane Gillis did this Trump impression and it kind of feels like everybody's just doing their version of his impression and that's and that's the one of the

that's one of the downfalls in stand-up that being original in stand-up has become non-existent

because somebody see this is the thing you can recreate so much quicker because you're seeing

things on the internet constantly it's but the desire though the desire to do to see you make it so you make it at something you get it you get some follows or something you go viral something that doesn't my desire is not to do to recreate what you did in my in my voice it's that's uh

man ollie we're gonna have a long discussion about this my friends because not everybody's desires to do great art some people's desire is just to be successful at a thing and then they see what's successful and they just repeat what is successful and that's the that's the crazy

coming from being a this is how i know that these guys are not students of comedy because there was one carol burnett there was one don rickles there was one carlin there was one um um prior there was one Cosby nobody was saying I'm going to do my rendition of Red Fox I'm doing my own I'm doing my own thing and everybody had their own voice and they made their voice they made their their their bones and their voice now when I can sit back and you sound just like this person are you doing this person you're doing exactly what they did yeah I'm saying that's that's uh and it may be the, I'm the old man in the group that don't like, yo, what is what, okay, when do you find your voice? When do you find who you are? Takes time. I mean, you probably went through that. Takes time to find it. But the thing is, like, I'm not in a rush. I wasn't in a rush. I just had I guess because I started about to be 29 years for me doing stand-up. So, how I started is different. Even the level of respect is different. There's a thing

that's happened, I think, that and the internet has probably like expedited this but when i was coming up in stand-up all the best guys maybe outside of like a few outliers were old there were guys in their probably 40s 50s like these were older you know i'm starting in my 20s so the expectation when i was starting was it takes 10 years to even know your voice that was the thing like comics would always say when you ask advice right be like well yeah how do i find my voice or whatever it is and like your voice essentially is like what is unique about you and what you want to talk about and like why are you different yeah and i think what's happened with the internet is like it not only with comedy with just like fucking seeing people on vacation it just looks like everybody's living this great life and i think i'll you'll hear a lot of comics are like oh i gotta do crowd work to make it's like you don't gotta do nothing you could just do what you want to do find your like why are you sad? Like, why are you whining? You see all these comments like, oh, I got to do cryos. You don't got to do nothing. If you don't want to do that,

don't do it. If you do want to do it, then do it. This is last night. I got to go on tour. Like, what is a tour? I think a lot of comics are sad in judging their career based upon things that's not really happening. Ooh, what do you mean by that? Oh, so let's dive into it. And I do this subconsciously when I look at somebody doing something, and I just say, well, let me see actually what it is that's really happening. Not for myself to explain this to somebody who I know that's going to come to me and talk about, well, I got to go on tour. And then I was like, well, like who? Like, give me a person. And then they would give, I would look at people and I'm like, well, okay, so let me give you a person. You think this person's on tour because they put up a bunch of dates. Okay? Put up a bunch of dates, but you didn't read these dates. You didn't read where these dates were at. So somebody just going on bars, just all bars. It's really just really mics, glorified old mics. And they're doing it in a different place. They're just going to do anything. They put it on their schedule, okay? Then you had these guys who put all these tour dates up, and then I'm thinking I'm supporting a friend. Let me go see what they're doing. I go to the club that they're doing, and it's not their name. It's somebody else's name, but they're opening for that person. they putting that on as their tour dates. Right. You know what I'm saying? Or somebody have a bunch of one-nighters and they putting it on as a tour. I get it, man. The fake it till you make it thing. But that's not a tour. Touring is a lot different than what, my boy, he got a, D-Lay got a very good understanding of what touring was. D-Lay like, yo, I was, I went out with this person and I sat in that city for three days and I did the comedy club with him. Yeah. Then I went on the road with Ali. We did four different places in three days. I'm exhausted. I was like, oh, so you thought I was staying here. No, I'm in Chicago. Then I'm in Cleveland. Then I'm in Pittsburgh. Right. And we have a sound check and we have a run. And then we back downstairs at 3.30 to go catch another flight. And he's like, oh, no, no, this is insane. And he said, I slept for two days after I was out. I'm like, yeah, because it's not the same. You're trying to, touring. And I'm like, well, how long you been doing? And that lady told me six years. I said, what are you rushing for? Like, what's the rush? You think, well, the class of comics that I'm in. What's this class of?

The feeling is that you see your peers and they're excelling and maybe something is working for them on social media. So you need to do it right in that moment as well. and i think there's a little bit something is lost now that we had maybe when i definitely had when i was younger i'm sure you also had it which is like this is a marathon of a career and it's going to take you a long time to achieve your dreams i mean i was doing comedy 17 years

before i did madison square garden you know what i mean like 17 years and i've been doing it 29 years i think i think you got a garden man i think you easily got a garden in you oh how many people

we know i mean there's a couple different arrangements you can get 18 000 in there man yeah hopefully all right guys take a break for a second according to cnbc nearly half of hiring managers say a candidate's enthusiasm about the job is the most important factor when considering them for a role well if you need to hire for your business how can you separate the candidates who are really excited about your opportunity from the ones that are just meh zip recruiter is how you're going to do that. ZipRecruiter has a new feature that quickly lets you see the most interested qualified candidates first. So you meet the right people faster. And now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com slash flagrant. ZipRecruiter's new feature puts the most interested qualified candidates at the top of your list. ZipRecruiter's smart matching technology connects you with the qualified candidates instantly. No wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. Use ZipRecruiter and find enthusiastic talent fast. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first try. And now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash flagrant. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash flagrant. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. All right, guys, for years, protein bars have been the quick go-to snack. You want that protein boost. But finding one that delivers real protein without excess calories and sugar has been nearly impossible. Most bars contain around 15 grams of protein while packing 300 plus calories and loads of sugar. That formula stayed the same for decades until now. Introducing David, a protein bar that redefines what's possible. David delivers 28 grams of protein in just 150 calories with zero sugar. David is giving your body what it actually needs without the unnecessary fillers, and they are now available at Walmart with 40% more protein, 50% fewer calories than the leading protein bars. David offers a superior science-backed protein boost that doesn't compromise on taste. David, it's not just another protein bar. David is the future of protein, perfect for the gym on the go or any time you want maximum efficiency from your nutrition. Listeners can buy four cartons and get the fifth for free at davidprotein.com slash flagrant. Or you can find David nationwide at Walmart near you. Be sure to check out the four packs of salted peanut butter and blueberry pie exclusively sold in Walmart stores. Now let's get back to the show. Anyway, the point being is like there's different iterations of it, sure. but like there it feels like there's this immense pressure that like especially young comics have to do what is working not do what they should be doing and what would make them feel fulfilled comedically and maybe we didn't have that because there was less opportunities when we were coming

up it was a lot of opportunities nah it was what's the opportunity that was that's now that we didn't have then the internet that's it that's the biggest opportunity like this is the greatest Most of the greats didn't start on the internet By obviously

I meant like there was a few HBO specials, maybe a year. You had like a handful of Comedy Central half hours.

That wasn't the goal.

For some people. For you, it wasn't.

For the mass majority of comics, that wasn't the goal. The goal was to be great comedians. Because you can make a lot of money before the special. You can make a lot of money. It was people that I saw in comedy clubs that were making. I'd never seen them on TV. I saw them in the comedy club. The expectation was different that people were actually going to—the club built the market. Like, you know that to get in this club, you had to be funny. So everybody I was going to see was going to be funny. It's not like now to where—now with whoever being marketed. Yes. The club has no—I'm just saying that we're just trying to sell some liquor and some chicken wings. Right. Whatever this person is doing, whatever audience they're bringing in, I don't care if it's a magician. I don't care who is it. But it's like some clubs just wasn't opening their doors for people that weren't elite.

And these are the clubs that to this day are the best clubs in the country. Yeah, and that's the thing. They built a community. They have an audience. and there's like comedy works in denver is one like salt lake city wise guys like side splitters in tampa there's one in that i'm messing up with right now but like in um in wisconsin what in comedy on state comedy on state comedy on state there's one in alabama star dome or whatever do you ever do that i've done the star dome star dome like so there were these like iconic clubs that the club curated great talent so people could expect to go see it and then there was the factories that essentially just like, I'm bringing somebody to fill the whole room and next week nobody might be in this room. These people aren't coming for the brand of the club. It's just a venue.

It's just a venue. It's like, and I get it, but then you, like, well, I came up in Just Joking, Comedy Cafe in Houston. To come to Just Joking, you had to have it because the host

had it. You gotta

think. Same host every night? No. over the different years the hosts like you had Arnaz Jay was one of the hosts then you had Lester Beards was one of the hosts then you had Bruce was one Earthquake was one of the hosts it's like the host set the tone like man you can't come in here and the host is crazy and to get on this stage man you gotta be you gotta have it and I remember sitting like I'm just joking it's one of my fondest memories because Rodney is a guy named Rodney Winfield. He's a great comic out of St. Louis, wore a sailor's cap. And I'm talking about a really, really good comic. And he would sit on the edge of the bar, and when you would come off stage, if he liked you, he would say something to you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, man. He's on Death Stranding. Rodney was like, yeah, man. And you got to hear his voice because I'm going to do it. This is my favorite. Like, I don't do a lot of impressions, but this was right. You would get off the stage and if he liked you, he would say something to you. You come off stage and he's like, I didn't even tell you something. I didn't tell you something. Ah, tonight you were horrible. You know what I'm saying? And then you would, you would hit every night. I remember the night that I got a compliment from him. The night I got a compliment. I came on stage, he was like, about goddamn time. I'm talking about, man, tonight you are amazing. I'm talking about everything you did was perfect. It was stellar. One problem. Got one problem. I'm like, what? I did all that shit in 1974. Then get your own goddamn bar. Oh, that's a good impression. It was supposed to be scary. they didn't have a nurse in the show with white folks they'd be passing out oh the devil but Rodney his most famous joke when he was on he was on the movie talking dirty at the dark with Martin and all them uh great movie black movie oh you should see it makes me cry when I think about it's not Armageddon it's a black Armageddon we need to talk about ugly people it's about ugly people all run the same you know you follow an ugly person home

I guarantee another ugly person going to have to. But he, man, he would just rip you every time if he liked you because he wanted you to get better. You don't have that experience in stand-up anymore. But it's comics out now that I told them that they was terrible. And I did. When they was young, I was like, yo, man, this is the worst damn thing I've ever seen. but I'm trying to get you if you think that you good at three years your career is not going to be as long as you think it is because you think that it's no other place to go I'm in the interview when did you know you were funny I said I'm still trying because I'm still trying to get better I'm still I'm like not that I support him all the time because he be on some bullshit sometimes. I'm like Floyd Mayweather. He still goes and trains. And as a boxer, you start the same way. It's no, you don't go in and start the other way. You start jabbing. You do the same one. I'm Steph Curry. I'm still shooting. Jordan, Kobe's still working out the same way even after having championships, after having rings. If you're already satisfied with where you are. Yeah, you can. you'll never get you'll never get you somebody told you that you was great at in eight years

wow there's a wow i think i think that one of the tricky things now with like early success in any endeavor but like definitely in stand-up is that uh sometimes the audience can decide who you are before you get to find out who you are and then and that was one of the advantages that we definitely have which is like just do stand-up in obscurity for years so you'll have a choice whether to find out who you are and then hopefully by the time the audience finds you you're kind of solidified in who you are what you want to do how you want to push yourself and that's harder that's that's hard like if you're three years in and like the whole world is coming for you and they want to see it there's probably an expectation built up in you to go oh i'm going to deliver them this and i i think i don't know at least for me like one of the things i've always tried to do is like every time i did something i want to do something different the next time and it scares me and i think i suck at it initially when i start and i'm like okay that's good at least i'll work hard on this and try to get better instead of trying to like repeat the thing that i just did

before but that's my own little you know i remember when i when i was in the clubs i was doing if i do

six shows i'm doing six different shows that's just insane i hate it when they tell me no that's

just the then i would do the specials i would get ready to start doing the specials and i would have to run it but i'm already on tour so i'm saying it everywhere and it would it would just irritate me that I would have to do the same show.

Oh, really?

You got to run it. And I would explain to people how better I am when I'm not running the same thing. Just let me think about it. Know that it has to happen. And then when we get ready to shoot a special, then I'll be ready. But you didn't run it. You got to run it. So I didn't run. I ran Domino Effect the first one. I didn't run two. I never ran two. Like at all, period. I did it that day. I didn't run three. I ran four in pieces. But I never ran it altogether. My father, I never ran it.

This is the most recent one, this is going to be coming out.

My father, I never ran. My two sons, I didn't run. I ran rugged. I didn't run Mondays. And out of all those specials, I only wrote one down. It was the first domino effect.

Wow. But isn't there a part of you that like, when you're quote unquote running it, you're finding other jokes in it. you're finding other things in it like naturally you talk about a topic with your buddies for a month you're gonna find other angles you're gonna get a deeper understanding how you feel about like don't you find value in that's when that's when i was doing six different shows

because i'm going out and i'm talking from different perspectives of what You would touch on similar topics at least. They would just be different. And that's where you're starting to organize the thoughts.

Organize the thoughts. Got it. Okay.

It's not just I'm going to go up and talk about something I've never talked about before. You might have hit it from different angles. But upon taping, you're like this is the fleshed out version after touching these topics for a while.

Yeah. But with the domino effects, I never had to run it because they couldn't. It was nothing else for me to find in it because I was telling the story.

Right.

You know what I'm saying? And so with my father, I mean, with my two sons, nobody can help me with it because I'm just telling the story about what's happening with me and my two sons.

Not help you with it. You help yourself. You tell me something for a month. By the end of the month, I know you. You're going to have 20 other jokes about it.

That's the thing. I just wanted to tell their story with me. Narrating it. Generally. Just like no additives to it.

Right.

So Rugged, I ran Rugged. That's how I got the other little nuggets in it, because like what you're saying. But with my father, my father, which is the recent one that's getting ready to come out, it is just an account of me and my dad. And if I talked about a part of it with like Marcus mostly or Dave, I would remember something else to add to it, like what you're saying. I'm like, oh, he did do this part.

What about the opening, without giving away too much, but like the opening of the special? right like the first thing that you said which i think was really funny i don't want i mean people probably will have seen it now we can give a little way it hasn't came out yet no meaning all right so the opening which is this great this great thing about like you you learned you became a good man or whatever because of your dad but not because you did what he did because you did the opposite of what he did is that design like are you going into that day going I'm going to open up on this line.

Yes.

Because that feels to me like the opening of a special and a tone set for what they're going to experience.

And that's coming off of a conversation about my mom feeling like she was, oh, he's a good guy. Because of me. I'm like, no. What did you say? You're like, I'm responsible because of me. I'm responsible because of my mother. But the father, I didn't want to be like him. Like, I thought about it. But the whole entire thing, the funniest thing to me still is, you know I know karate. It's like somebody said it to me in a meet and greet that saw a dude when we premiered it. And I laughed. Like, I don't know if they thought that that was going to happen. So I was like, we taking pictures, taking pictures. and then the dude, and he's calling my name and I'm like, what's up? He said, you know I know karate, right? And I laughed. So I laughed for like the next five people. And then I'm doing the meet and greet and I'm still laughing because I'm like, my daddy, no, he didn't know no damn karate. But just the fact that he was sad, but who's going to challenge him? He's 6'3", and he wore boots. He gave me an extra piece. And he was like, my dad was, when I think about him, he's nuts, man. And I hope that this special helps people kind of, whatever their father was or wasn't, you know, if he was great, that you celebrate the greatness of him. am saying more if he was not so great you celebrate the parts that you did get from him you know like i say in the special my father i don't say he's a bad father he just wasn't ideal he wasn't what i saw on tv you know it gave me this ideology of what a father's supposed to be he was just who he was and the the understanding of that i'm not going to carry around this baggage of why you didn't do this with me or why, you know, I never, I do things with my kids now that never happened in my childhood. And I think that's the elevation and the wealth of information that I'm giving them. I'm giving them a different experience in life than what I had. And as a parent, I think that's what my job is. I've never in the history of me been on vacation with my dad or with my parents the first time i ever went on vacation with my mom i'm the one taking her with my family we're going hey we're going on this vacation because i want to i want to experience this as an adult being you know, out on vacation with my mom. And my mom, and I got mad at my mom because she was, I would be looking for my aunts there, right?

My aunt, and this is another special that I don't want to give too much away because this is another special that I shot. I know you're going to hate this. I know you're going to hate this. You want me to tip something? And I know you're going to hate this, right? So I'm doing this show in Tyson's, in Tyson's, Virginia. I can't wait till you paralyze your esophagus And I'm going to call you on FaceTime like you just got back to the fucking banquet hall in prison and the Knicks lost. So we shot four specials in two days. Wow. And the family vacay, family vacay is my favorite one of the four. Family vacay is insane because it's a story about when I broke my clavicle. and I'm on vacation. I got all of my family with me. And so what happened, I didn't even put this in a message, but what happened, my aunt and my sister are on vacation, Jack. Do you understand what I'm saying? They are vacationing. Like I'm seeing my sister, my sister's hardback riding. She's doing my aunt. They are vacationing. You know what I'm saying? Like it is a lot of margaritas. It is like, folks are kicking it. And I'm like, yo, where's my mom? And my aunt's like, in the hotel room watching Lifetime? I'm enraged. I'm enraged. Look, man, we in Cabo. We at this very nice resort. It's very, very nice. And I spent all this money, and you are in the house watching Lifetime. Doing the same shit you would do back home, man. I am enraged. go up to the room. I'm like, yo, man, what's going on with you? My mom has on an outfit that she bought from the gift shop. My mom already got dressed up to watch Lifetime. I was like, yo, man, are you crazy right now? It's like, I'm going to come out there. I just want to finish watching this. Yo, I want to have them people take this TV out of here. You became your parent. He usually became the parent, though. I'm going to request him to take the TV out, man. Take the TV out. I'm going to steal the batteries for the remote. Something's got to happen. You need to enjoy the sun, yo. Like, what are we doing? And then she came out there, and she did something with my son. They ate pizza or something by the beach. But he got sand. Like, he's been on the beach. He got sand all in his pizza. Like, I like to see my family having a good time. Like, I think that's what I worked for. You know what I'm saying? For them to have, yo, man, do whatever. And I don't want to make no decisions. Like, when I go on vacation, I was on another podcast. A guy asked me about my mental health. Like, how do you maintain mental health? I said, vacation.

And when I go on vacation, yo, July through the second week of August, I am off. And you talking about, if you ran into me, you wouldn't even think I was a comedian. That's how off I am. Like, I don't want to talk about comedy. I introduce you. I introduce, but I see you. Knowing you. And know that you do something. I introduce you as my name in order. Hey, how you doing? I'm Sadiq. Nasi Ali. How you doing, brother? There wouldn't be no Ali Z. I was like, I don't even want you to know that I do stand up. Like, get away from me. Like, I don't even want to hear anything about. Oh, man, I saw you on this. I act like I'm not even that person. Nope. I'm like, what? Interesting. I said, man, a lot of people tell me I look like him. Yeah. And Tory Lanez. I get a mystical every once in a while. You don't want that. I'm like, man, I don't want Tory Lanez. I don't want any other. Why do you keep comparing me to criminals? And so I remember this lady talking about, do you see the resemblance? You were double prince to me. I was like, no, no. Ma'am, you reaching. What are you drinking, man? Because I want it. You are reaching. Wait, so you're going someplace in July then? Oh, what? Where are you going? Oh, man. See, you're trying to give up my location. We're going three different places. And, man, it's water, water, then a hot place. more than water than a hot place and I am so ready can you give a continent are you going central south backpack oh wow like I'm I'm I don't want to have anything but a backpack like yo I want all my pictures they look at all my pictures like Yo, he had it on the same switchboard the whole time. I just washed him out when I went to sleep. Like, man, I'm trying to go have me some fun. Do you leave your phone or are you bringing your phone with you? Only for information. Like, I don't post anything. Like, I be out, bro. Like, I don't want to be a part of what's going on. Like, I just want to be a part of vacation. I don't want to make no decisions. I don't want to be on the schedule. Oh, we got to go to lunch at this time. No, y'all go. I don't want to do that. I want to, because that's not a vacation. It's like if you start scheduling things, hey, man, it's like I don't want to do none of that. Yeah, that's a job you pay for. I want to randomly walk out and hit some guy and eat something strange. You know, we got a guana. I'm like, I'll try. I'm like, get on a stick. What's one of the more interesting or weird places you ever want on vacation? i think all the places are pretty normal because we got kids but yeah you know the cabo but i know

um you know who's waiting on me and because they know that i'm coming turks and cacos turks turks know that i'm coming turks yeah turks they know they know for facts that they're going to see me at their fish fry and they wait on it they're like there you go again i've been to turks Man, I'm going to Turks, bro. And I'm going to kick it. It's two different resorts that we stay at. And I'm going to kick, man. Turks, I want somebody to find me in the road and step over me. He's like, yo, nothing right now. Do you adventure, though? Or are you trying to jet ski and stuff? I've jet skied before in the States. Jet ski in there. I remember one time we was in Cabo St. Lucas. was, no, what was we at? Wherever it was at, they was like, yo, don't go this way because that's the drug dealer route. Just jet ski this way, right? So we jet skiing, and me and my son, we finding puffer fish and all that, and the waves, something happened. I saw the shift, and I was like, yo, I saw it, we got to go. And he's in front of me, and it went from like this and I'm like that Asan holding on like he's terrified I'm like yo Asan do you understand this is because I can swim I think that I can get out of anything because I can swim which is insane like it doesn't matter how crazy the waves are because I can swim you cannot tell me that I'm going to die because I'm just not I remember Well, when Jayden was little, we was in Miami, and Miami had this crazy storm going out of nowhere. And the waves literally were coming up and tossing my daughter so far up on the beach. And she's like four. And she's running right back into the water. And this is my ideology. She's not going, nothing's going to happen because I'm out further than her, and I'm going to be able to get to it no matter what happened. So she went under on this wave. And then the wave came up, and I didn't see her. So boom, I'm in action. Boom, gone. And then I can't find her. But the wave threw her to the other end, and she's just standing there like, no, I'm down here. You don't realize that the ocean just moves you. Oh, man, because I can swim, you cannot. Like when I broke my clavicle, I'm in the water. and my mind is this was crazy I thought my neck was broke and I was like because I heard all this cracking but in my mind I can swim you know all those people who have drowned also could swim

they think they can swim they think they can swim until something's happening they don't know they're like yo you're not as efficient as you think you are you're trying to what is it called? Crawl stroke? It's a breaststroke when you're in the water. Breaststroke frog kick. What you got going on? Breaststroke frog kick. You got your breaststroke frog kick. You got to hear dip your chin, bop. You got a good point. If you drown, then you might not know what you're doing. You're talking like you just learned how to swim. My daughter was a hurricane. Who cares? It's a breaststroke frog kick. But the thing is, why would I think I was going to drown? I have been sweating. I've been swimming since I was five, and my mom didn't even know. It's the story and the thing where I got pushed in the pool, and it's not like I could swim at that time because I never had taken swimming lessons under. I got pushed in the pool, and because my mother told me that I shouldn't have been on that side of the pool, when I got pushed in, she was coming down the steps, and I was so scared of my mama that I just swam across. I just got out the water, and my mama got down there, You're like, you better get out there, Pooh, before I got down here. I was like, because I shouldn't have been over there. So that's how you learn how to swim.

But me and I'm like, no, I'm fishing with the water. I would love to see Noah walking around the village telling everybody, like, yo, listen, the flood is coming. Like, Ollie, we got to build this ship. And you just look at Noah like, I can swim, bro. What's the flood?

You're the boat for what? You're the boat. I'm a boat.

I'm a canoe. You're more scared of your mom than of dying. That's hilarious. For sure.

For sure. But being a, when you can swim, it's just a certain confidence when you're around water that other people don't have. I know how I broke my clavicle. Because they, this thing, this thing is, it's a sign that says, don't go in the water because it's choppy. And I looked at that sign, and my mother looked at me and said, that means you. And I'm like, no, it doesn't. I can swim. and i'm and i'm literally out there and and i remember the first two days that i was walking around and people was pointing at me like that's him right there he'd be out there in the water how'd you break the cleficle oh man this this um this wave bro it's not the water it wasn't a wave water you go with waves are so different the wave was insane I'm literally, I'm coming right and I just came in and this is how big this wave was that my son said look at that wave and this is how I looked up I was like and it came down and it slammed me and drug me along the beach And that's how I broke my clavicle. Like, it was bad. And I hate to say this to people, but my family know I'm a little tougher than a lot of people. My ribs are broken. My clavicle is broken. My sternum is bruised. Like, I'm really—but I don't want to leave because they on vacation. And so I'm just toughing it out. and I'm sleeping literally up against the wall in the room because I'm like something is wrong and I was saying I was like yo they put me in a sling they put my arm in a sling I was like and the life goes like yo this happens to me all the time I used to be a bull rider I'm like nah this is a little different I can tell that this is different I don't know what bull riding is but I know this is something is bad bro so I'm in a sling right but I just know that it's something else and I'm like, I would scoot up against the wall and I'm like sleeping like this. And I would wake up and it'd be hard to breathe, right? So I get on the plane, I come back and I'm waiting for the MRI and all the rest of this. So I get the MRI and back in my day, they would just get your x-rays and you would never really see them. They'd just come tell you what's wrong with you. now they blow you up on the screen and it's like that lady found great pride and she had a pointing thing so you see the second thing you see this right there yeah that's your that's your clavicle

and that's supposed to be here it's totally it's gone and the tendon is gone all that's gone and I was like so what's that it's a black crack oh those are I was gonna get to that those are your ribs those are like four breaks in your ribs Like, yo, it's crazy. And I said, so what are you telling me about what we're going to do for the clavicle? I said, what are we going to do for my ribs? And she said, nothing. I said, ma'am, that is not a medical term. Because, you know, they can't really do nothing. You got to let them heal on your own. So after that, I'm waiting on the surgery. I go back on the road. I'm still flying and doing shows. It's some people in Utah that probably think I got shot in the airport. Because I'm getting my bags right. get my bag, and I'm rolling, I'm waiting on the car. And as I'm walking, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I gotta sneeze. And so I sneeze, and then I just lay down in the baggage claim. And white people are crazy. White people are like, who you got shot? Damn, you didn't even know that. It was, so I had the surgery on a Tuesday. And then because I'm wanting to keep my word to this comedy club, who's closed now, they're trying to stop him from being closed. So they even sold out two shows from coming out. And people are like, yo, he's never been to this club. He never said he was coming. And so I finally, they made it, then I came. So I wanted to keep my word. I get on the plane the day after I have surgery. So I'm on the plane. I get there. So I come out. I got this huge, it's not the sling they gave me in Mexico. This is a huge thing with a ball on it. It's pressure on my arm. It's crazy. So as I'm doing the shows, and then the last show, this lady I collapsed in the comedy club I'm walking and this lady said great show and I just went down and this is after me telling the whole story about what happened and this lady hit me right on it and I just collapsed to the floor and I was like yo this is insane and my ribs were still broke and I'm like and then when I look back on that whole ordeal I'm like, why was I that dedicated to stand-up? Like, why? I must be crazy. And then now I look at my two sons. My two sons and Rugged. I had on some red Gucci loafers that I had on these cow-high boots. Nobody would believe that my toe was broke. My baby toe was broken. and why I'm doing these specials.

Yeah.

And no one would even think it. It was like, yo, because I'm not hobbling or nothing. I didn't tell the director and nobody until after it was over. And I took my boot off and my foot is swollen. It was like, but I had all this numbing spray on it. They would be walking in, they didn't know I was spraying my foot. They thought I probably had an athlete's foot. I'm sitting there, I was spraying all this numbing stuff on my foot. And I'm like, y'all ready? And then now I got to struggle to put this boot on. And I was like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. So when I went out there, when I went out there, I would just be doing my thing, just blocking it out. You know what I'm saying? And I think my father wasn't nothing wrong with me on that one.

And not even emotionally. We got to make sure everybody goes and checks out my father, obviously. But before you go, I wanted to ask you if you saw the roast and what you think about it. Like, you had brought up Rickles and you had brought up these guys who, like, I think a lot of us watched and were like these iconic roasters. What did you think about the last one? I know there's been, like, a lot of controversy and stuff. Like, what was your digestion of that?

This is my take on it. One, I did not see it. But here's my opinion. I did not watch the roast, okay, but my opinion on the controversy that I heard, it's going to always be like that going forward if you're being roasted for an industry event versus an actual roast.

Which is like your friends.

Which is your friends. Right. The Friars Club was a roast that was friends. And when you watch the classic roast, all these people who had personal relationships with each other, they was friends. That is an industry thing now. That's not an actual, the basis of a roast. So whatever controversy is coming from due to the, I'm not going to say the elevation, the decline of it being a personal thing versus it being an industry showcase.

But this didn't exist with the Tom Brady one. At least I didn't feel it as much when I did it.

When I watched y'all doing the Tom Brady jump, it wasn't racially charged. Well, because Tom's white. Tom is white.

And I hated him for that reason.

And I hated him because he played for the Patriots. And I didn't think that it had this type of stigma around it. like certain people were saying certain things it was it was very um sexual that was very very it was like some things that it was like in my mind at at some point i was like yo it would have been some fights

Like, if somebody would have said some of the things that were said, I was like, yeah. Because my whole thing was like, man, I'm going to see you after this. Yeah, you're on the list. I would be more inclined to be roasted by people who I know. And then the people on the thing that I actually know.

because then you then there's never any concern about like malice exactly if you saying something

you saying something i don't think that you have any malice towards me so i'm taking it all in fun it was like if i'm roasting you i'm going to bring up superstition you know that you're

superstitious so it's not going to be like i can't believe he said that about me or if we've been on the road for 20 years together like it's it's like seeing some guys in the army that are making, like, fucking horrible jokes about one another, it's like, yeah, but they've been in the trenches together. They don't even care what race each other are. Like, these people literally put their fucking lives in the life of one another.

Do you understand? If we in war and you didn't have to drink each other's urine while you were in the trenches, you would call me cracker. Call me whatever you want to call me. Yo, what's up with the pineapples?

it's a different thing this Hawaiian guy's

P-Tex Craig you know cause it's like you man you in a different mindset this is things that people had to do for each other during times of war when I go back cause I like I like war movies now if you want me to get choked up if they had now I'd be watching the front like yo I can't believe they did that you're like he carried him he carried him

He blew his legs out, it's crazy. You say, and again, like, you haven't watched it, but you think the response comes from, like, maybe a lack of camaraderie or, like, a built-in relationship. Yeah. Where if it was that, you don't think it would be?

I don't think that it would have been that at all.

So it's not necessarily about the jokes. It's about, like, where they're coming from. Where they come from. And that's what the audience was consuming it.

Yeah.

So it's like Eminem and Dr. Dre are saying crazy shit to one another. you're like, yeah, these guys have known each other forever. Like, there's love there.

Yeah.

But got it. But strangers, it can always be taken in that way. Even if it's not meant that way, that's how the internet can take it.

Yep. If Drake say anything about anybody, it is definitely.

You're right.

You're right. You're right. I'm not. Drake, you say anything. Anything is the problem. Because you're from Canada. He's from USA. He's from USA. He's one of yours, man.

No, he is not. All right, you got to get out of here. You got more stuff to do. Listen, we love you, brother. You are prolific. Keep up the great work, man. We will continue to say more. All right, Sadiq, everybody. Go check out my father, man.

Peace.