Muse

y'all might well start the camera right now let it roll yeah well i think that okay there's when you so when you guys all of you are married yes yeah okay he's not really married he likes

to pretend like he's married he's married he's not is that what is y'all like shacking or what

y'all no we engage you engage oh okay so you almost you bought a ring you married yes right okay got it got it got it so you so you married so you you fell in love with the girl oh you fell in love with the girl, is there anything that she does to this day that still drives you up a

wall? Like, annoys me? Yes. Nah, she's perfect.

You're the Jack Benny. You're not even lying, right? That ain't come out right. I'm not lying at all. Side bitches now. Side bitches. So you're going to leave her and bury me? Yeah. I don't want to be with her. That's right. My friend will call her right now, bitch.

Never coming home. Sunshine.

What did y'all want to talk about?

So y'all heard me talking to somebody that I was like, what?

Something was frustrating you. We could tell.

But here's, I'm trying this new thing.

Yeah.

And this new thing is called figure out where you could be contributing to your own frustration. Accountability? There you go. And I wish more bitches had it. How do we get it?

How do we get them to get it? It's a new book. It's a new book we can all write together. Hey, bitch, you are the problem. You are contributing. We've been trying to write that book for a long time. That's not a book. This is a scientific paper. Okay.

So how do we solve this theory? How do we test it?

Well, how have you noticed that you're the problem? How can you think you're the problem when you're on fire right now? It seems like every decision you made was the right decision.

Well, I would say most. If you're 90%, it's the 10 that you need to work on. Okay. So if you're communicating with someone and they don't seem to be understanding, then the first thing I look at is, because my dad taught me, look at yourself first. So am I not conveying it right? Or did I believe, now this is where I think, me as a woman, did I believe that you were capable of not doing what you're doing?

Yeah.

so if i believe that you were capable of not doing the thing that annoys me then i'm the problem because i believed it no i believed that you were not going to do the thing if you don't like hair on soap yeah and every time this dude comes over here it's his hair on my soap so he ain't taking my bar of soap and rubbing his balls with it can i say that rubbing the balls with it and and then it's in my shower but i'm in love with this dude And I go, well, that motherfucker with the pubic hair on my damn soap. But if I believe that he's incapable, if he's capable of not doing that, but he continues to do it. So either it's a challenge to authority somewhere in there, okay, because he doesn't want to be controlled. So this bitch keep asking me about the pubic hair on the soap, and I keep showing this bitch, I'm going to put the pubic hair on the goddamn soap because I'm a motherfucking man.

There is an ego in it, which is like, stop telling me what to do.

Yes.

It's almost like you need to suggest it or ask it. But telling, there's a thing about the being told.

Well, I say, might you consider?

See, I think we look at that and we just said, yeah, she just told me what the fuck to do.

Well, see, I feel like it's the man. Remember when I was, I don't know if y'all saw me on Shannon Sharp's Club Shea Shea, right? And he asked me, how did I feel being the breadwinner? I'm like, I'm not the breadwinner. I'm the person who might make more money in a relationship, depends on who the man is. But I'm not the breadwinner. The man is the breadwinner. And we live off of what you do. My money is in addition to, hey, you want to be a cowboy? I'm going to send you to Montana to learn how to be a cowboy for your birthday. Right. That's what my money is for.

So you when you're with a guy, you will live completely within the means of his salary.

If that's what he wants to do. Well, first, I got to get to being engaged or married or being that girl for you because if well i believe and i could be wrong and hit me in the comments i believe when a man's money is not stable he cannot concentrate on a personal relationship with a

woman there's a version of that because it's hard to separate your identity yes your ability to provide that's right some guys can do it man what the gigolo the gigolo yes but they have a disconnect there's almost like a sociopathy that allows them to do it but then to me uh god makes

woman's intuition to go that guy's a gigolo do i want to be with a gigolo or do i want to be with all these other girls that are with the gigolo and then because i would ask him how long

long do you plan on being a gigolo and can you use those skills for anything else and how can i help you yes yes we're gonna do what we're gonna do but if you you you seem to be good at being a gigolo because you pulled me and i fell for the boost so that's what you're gonna do and i got the 1500 if that's what we're doing so what are we doing with this 1500 that's right How are we going to take 750 of us or 500, put 500 in crypto, 500 in you, trying to get your life together, and then another 500 for you to live off of? Now, you want to be in a relationship with me, or is this a transaction? Which all relationships are still transactions to me. How so? You're either trading for love or comfort or security, or you make me feel good, or you care about me. Does it make it not transactional if it's a love for love trade? It's still a transaction. It's equal love. I love you, you love me, and we build a life together. It's still a transaction. It's just a more pleasant transaction, right? If it's just I'm fucking you because you pay me or I'm fucking you because I get something from it. A home security or whatever. Yeah, that's right. That's right. To me, I wish people would just talk about it's a transaction because my needs are meeting your needs. And let's see how we can get together. and if we enjoy ourselves together but then you got to figure out what about the shit about me that you don't like and then can you handle that shit and can we just talk about it what's not likable about you what can someone not like it's a lot you smell phenomenal i'm not against interracial i have sampled everything god have made on the buffet of love so i'm not against it right what's the best can you rank them i i would say well everybody's decent if you're still talking to me after we do something it was decent you know you're still talking if you ain't put your hand in my back and say all right sure that was cool okay this will be on in a few minutes okay is in your shoes bitch uh why are you still here and i get an uber wait no i had a guy okay wait see this is a good start so i met this guy we've been talking on the phone for about a year talking on the phone um he's uh he's black uh played football yeah um and we met at a super ball oh and he comes up i'm selling cassettes that's how long ago it was cassettes and cds and

holsters so he comes up how much how much this cost how much this cost and i was like okay if you big ass gonna buy something buy something so then he says you know let's exchange numbers and i said well you know listen uh i'm not these bitches okay so straight up straight up i said i'm not these bitches i'm a different bitch if you want to exchange numbers cool but i i'm not excited about that right so we start talking and we talk talk for months years i think i'm getting to know right so by the time something about to happen i'm in the city where he's playing football and he sends a car for me now you just have far back since a stretch limo you know so we all looking out the window i was like don't i don't lie it's a set up regular it's a set up no it's a setup i'm thinking it's a sound being set up okay so it's a setup so i get to the crib i used to tell this story in my act where we get to the location and the limousine dude is just throwing shit out the car like drive off i'm like i'm trapped in this motherfucker but i'm glad i got gas money in the case i need to get the fuck out jump out a window or something yeah right so then we get together and he says uh he said i gotta i gotta go i gotta go to work i said okay he's in training camp i said okay so what's up and uh he said uh what do you mean i said when is the car coming to get me to take me back he said friday i said motherfucker i'm not fucking like this for four more days you're in training camp not me so but then i thought about it so then he goes downstairs there's some money in the car keys and it's con garage and everything so i go down and look at the car car's not been driven and it's a guap it's a big guap of money right guap so i look at it i go set up this This is not right. This is the first day and I get the money and the car and it's some bullshit. Must be some cameras around this motherfucker. I'm being set up. right i never think it's the happily ever after never never so i call my father and i go daddy i said i think i think i'm being set up you called your dad from the house yeah in the car she called my dad yeah and i and i said i think i'm being set up he said what do you mean and i told him what happened you said the details Yeah. I said, you know, we were romantic. You know, my father. You see my dad, right? And I said, this happened, this happened, this happened. I said, what do you think? He said, don't fuck this up until I meet my son-in-law. What? And then, when it's time for me to go back, because it's time for him to go play with the team. So you stayed for the weekend? Yeah, yeah, stayed for the weekend. How was your body holding up? It was a struggle. it was a struggle yeah because i'm only five two right it was a struggle you're six five three

fifty oh oh plus i had two black eyes i'm like who is doing this right so it's the time to go right so i said so what's up you know what is this i said because this is a lot this seems like he said why don't you just relax and then he said i'm gonna take you the car's gonna take you back i said oh no motherfucker no after five days of this you have to go back and you have to introduce yourself to my father and you have to talk to him what what i said motherfucker yeah i said put some clothes on so i made him get in the car that i didn't drive and he drove me back to where my father was i said get out the motherfucking car go talk to my dad so he walks in and uh my dad's watching wrestling so he's sitting straight to a tv he doesn't look up my father doesn't look up he's my father old school southern right he doesn't look up and i said daddy this is such a such a such a such he nods at him and he and then i said why don't you

just tell him what you do for a living i plays football my father says you do not have to bring

her back to come back and visit us i said so what i'm saying is is a little story long is you have to figure out what is is especially as a woman you need to figure out what is is and what role you want to play in this situation yeah and That's why I do not believe any man I date, whether you play football or whether you work at the gas station. I'm not the breadwinner. You are the head of the household because that's the way I was raised. My father was the head of household when my father died. I deferred to my older brother. Oh, really? Right.

But you got leader energy. I don't know. I don't believe that you completely would defer to anybody.

But a leader also has to play the position. So you could lead from behind. Absolutely. And, you know, everybody that works with me. Just like that football player. That's right. And he was trying.

And I was scurried. And I was like, no, no, no. That's not for you. I'm not doing that. You don't need to name my dad.

But everybody that I work with, I tell, they go, you're the boss. No, I'm not the boss. I'm the leader. Interesting. The boss tells you what to do, and you can be unhappy about it. the leader leads you into battle and you will go into battle with the leader because you know we're coming back alive and that's why i'd rather be the leader than being the boss to dictate to

someone is this military influence or did you have this from like your pops early on your mom early

on like like where are you getting this philosophy on the world my dad really shaped my world view yeah um and he was military he and all his brothers were in the army and then my mother married a man who was stationed at off at air force base and that's how we got to castle air force base and went into the air force so i was at warner high but i always but wait hold on didn't

you you went into air force later though right you got your master's before that i was working

on my master's while i was in the air force so i got my associates my bachelor's my master's degree a paralegal certificate from ucla and i have five honorary doctorates four of them from hbcus one i'm from university illinois chicago so i wanted to go to college um because my dad was really really smart um and but my dad was he was progressive but very conservative yeah you know so he would read a lot and understand uh people and i wanted to be that and my dad and my uncles on my mother and my father's side very very funny yeah so i would just be in the corner

watching them like how so what were you observe absorbing storytelling yeah kate

um hitting the joke and i was like okay that's interesting because i started out um as a singer was singing the choir no most of us okay you grew up in the church church singing the choir so i was like oh maybe i could be a singer i wanted to be in the entertainment business definitely yeah five years well you know you know us community would did your parents wake you up in the middle of the night to dance for their friends and perform okay he's puerto rican he's puerto rican so they were partying when we were just but they never said come my son can pop lock and spin on his head they never said that are you on salsa dancing everybody that you don't have no white shoes and like that i wasn't nice okay so puerto rican dominican none of that happened for you when we were growing up our parents would wake us up to perform for their friends while they playing cards and all this stuff so i thought okay for to get that kind of attention you know oh okay i kind of liked it i knew i wanted to be in the entertainment business because i spent a lot of time in the house and watching things and i was like i can do that i can do that but how what do i do do i start off as a singer i don't have pipes my voice when i started singing it sounded more like diana ross you know but now that i've been doing comedy for so long it's lower it's like lou ross you know so it's deeper now i still sort of sing i can sing talk i say i can sing talk walk dance you know quick update i'm

gonna be out in la shooting a movie this summer but we added some stand-up shows so pull on up the brea improv will be there july 17th and july 18th and then we're gonna be at the halifax Nova Scotia, Canada, Great Outdoors Fest, August 8th. So you can go grab tickets to any of those shows if tickets are still available, DeAndreScholes.com. All right, Mark, what do you got?

Oh, I have great news. I'm going all over at the end of the year. I'm going to Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, California, San Diego, California, and then I'm also going to a couple other spots that are going to be coming up at the end of the year, like Detroit, Michigan, and Salt Lake City, Utah. And I can't wait to see you guys all there. Mark Yaghan on live.com. Alex.

Guys, my monthly tennis series, theallloveclub.com. The tennis is on July 25th. I'll see you guys there. The first one was fantastic. The second one's going to be even better.

Then I got into dancing. And I answered an ad while I was in college at a bar. And it was a sexual interpretive dance. That's what we call it.

Sexual interpretive dance.

it's a great way of saying stripping it's art I thought I was being artful but it was so I grew up in Chicago and it's a tavern and it's still open to this day and the owner remembers the day that I did this how old are you when you go in? oh I was 19, 20? I was young I was young but old I was young but old we gotta save age i don't know who's watching this still my damn identity and my credits so i'm in this place where you're supposed to you put on the lingerie and then you're supposed to uh yeah so the guy the guy buys it so whoever buys it like burlesque yeah no it's a little bitty place burlesque seems beautiful it's like a movie with what's that girl christina aguilera and share have you seen it moulin rue burlesque was the movie they did together matter of fact james brolin was in the movie but i digress so uh it's more like you buy buy the lingerie you walk around the little bar and whoever wants you to take it off they pay for the lingerie so you take it off in front of them and then they get to keep your lingerie but you're naked in front of these do so it's really a fancy version of stripping but um and i think god let me know what i'm not capable of doing so i start to tell jokes and i was doing the fred sanford full lingerie yeah and them street dudes you can't stir work with the damn put your shit back on you know so that's when i knew oh i can do it and then being in the military yeah um i was making people laugh in the military because you have to entertain we had a lot of down time so you have to entertain and basic training um i was basic uh lackland air force base lackland was uh basic training san antonio uh the tech school because i went in as a medic and they told me i could transfer out to mwr what's mwr morale welfare and recreation so that's what i wanted to be because i knew i wanted to be in the entertainment business wait do you go in as an officer No, I didn't. I went in as enlisted, but it helped me pay my way through.

school right and but it also taught me how to entertain people you don't know if we're talking to each other then we know some of the things of our background that's going to make us laugh

there's a shared understanding and a shared reality but when you're talking to somebody that you never knew anything about absolutely Mexican dude from El Paso Texas that's right

you still got to crack him or a white boy from Oklahoma yeah you got to make him laugh and so um I found that I was funny and I was doing the cadence because I was too I couldn't do the guide on the guide on is where you twirl the flag yeah yeah but they can't don't let that flag hit the ground airman you know so you can't let the flag hit the ground and they hear that clearly everybody looking at you like you crazy right so i couldn't do that uh because i don't think i had the um because you got to twirl it under your arm okay and i couldn't do it but then they said well what else could you do and one of the ti's said let her do the cadence to chance and but my chance were Or, you know, your mother was home when you left, you're right, your mother's on. But mine were dirty.

Oh, so you do? Okay, okay. Yeah, and people looked forward to us marching. But mine were dirty. And they're trying to keep a straight face while they're on. That's right. And you're trying to crack them.

Do you remember any of the cadences?

Nothing I can say here. You can say whatever you want here. Well, no, one thing I do remember is that I learned that I can be entertaining. but i also learned that um it takes being in the military the first it's a scary thing because they strip you down to build you back up but it's the best thing i wish in this country we had mandatory and if you don't want to do mandatory military service for two years go into peace corps yeah do do something you should do something in this country we were

talking about this like volunteering like the national parks or something yes serving the country in some capacity we were we were in uh virginia beach this past weekend doing shows and

the uss iwo jima yeah came back and i've never seen this live but like you got to see the ship that was away for 10 months yes the whole family people with kids yeah it's also like 10 months so you see a really young baby you're like uh-huh hold on is that right but like i dude i got emotional man i got kind of caught up in it like the music the pomp and circumstance also just seeing these young guys like these these are kids they're like 21 years old they're coming off their moms they're grabbing them it was their first time he's like big hugs it was just this beautiful

thing asking one of the moms like oh who are you here for she's like oh my son and you're like how

long has he been deployed she says 296 days oh to the day to the day it is like a care packages

they said amazon replaced all that yes if you try to send a care package it's going to take twice as long as if you just go amazon direct and i'll find a way and and that's what's good

about ingenuity of course but also when you're away like that you live for letters and care packages and things like that and i remember when i was first performing after i got out of the reserve they called me somebody called me to do a comedy show yeah and we were in uh uh yakuska yeah um naval base where in japan in japan so i was doing my comedy has always been adult yeah always been sexual always been adult profane so i was wearing these fringe hot pants and this fringe uh uh bolero jacket and booster and i had these fishnet stockings and pumps on that i couldn't really walk in and i was telling the most hardcore sexual humor and they and the admiral they said the admiral would like to see you and i said sir and he says so you form a military i said yes sir and he said um listen i'm gonna give it to you straight what we can't protect you these men have been on the ship for 40 days if you keep talking like this we can't protect when the u.s military says they can't protect you you know who they put in front of the because we were staying in billeting uh where the you know the the hotel is called billeting so we were staying there you know who they put in front of my door to guard me every night and they were in shifts bruce lee the marines really the marines because these dudes were sitting outside of my door playing the guitar uh making uh beaded necklaces and professing their love and i was like what is happening what is happening i'm just doing a show yeah you know but i do i like perform for the military the last thing i did i did a usl tour oh yeah that's pretty oh my god so fun so fun but what made it really fun for me it was with the sergeant major of the army and i kept asking are you sure you mean me are you sure you want me to go because you know me right and the usl people are absolutely because you don't get paid for it The pavement is the love from the truth. Of course, yeah. So we go to Afghanistan, and we go down to the fobs. Well, first, I'm so excited. I think I'm going to walk up to the general.

on Petraeus, and I'm going to shake his hand and hug him and tell him how great he is. Jim Petraeus was like, who the fuck are you? We're the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.

I'm so fucking hurt.

But the command sergeant majors and the people that knew me, and then they were asking who was I because they had double the people. So the people that knew me from Deaf Comedy Jam and Common View, they had double the people. So I was doing this bit, Shelvis a tribute to the king and I was uh dressed as Elvis Presley with the mutton chops and the wig and custom made Elvis outfit from BK Enterprise where Elvis was getting his made okay and and I was doing this that was my intro and people die laughing and everything and they love the country singers and they were waiting for Dallas Calgary cheerleaders but we went to a five a forward operating base in Afghanistan and you could hear these dudes on their heads say who the fuck is the black girl i don't know who the fuck she is and i was telling every dick joke every dirty joke i knew and they were stomping and clapping and then i could get i got on the helicopter and they said whoever she is protect her i ain't never laughed that hard and that's what comedy does in my opinion yeah absolutely oh that's amazing it brings us together same thing with the roast but so does

the military oh absolutely i think that's the thing that a lot of people maybe don't understand like the camaraderie that exists within the military it's like when you know that your life is dependent on the person next to you you don't really care that much that they're filipino that's right you don't care a lot of this shit goes out the window absolutely so a lot of my buddies that are in the military they have these like incredibly close relationships with guys like from all different walks of life but there's nothing off limits no it's not like a regular office job where like you would never maybe share your real personality with somebody at the office that's right you're gonna get to know who that person is absolutely because you're shitting showering and

shaving with the person you know you're eating the same mre that they're eating yeah you're telling stories you're sad that your girl betrayed you so now you're gonna shoot somebody i'm just saying to be facetious but but i think military um it's one of the great law enforcement anything that like you say your life life's on the line shit gets different but but also it's the humor it's gallows humor like people that were so upset about the rose yeah what did you first of all you

had an amazing set thank you i'm obviously you've heard this but like you killed it there was something that i thought you brought to the rose that was fantastic which was one genuinely having fun is infectious right like whoever has the most fun yes i want to be around as a person that's consuming yes right the person who's watching the game and they're having the most fun watching the game that's the part of the bar you want to be around yes and you were up there you were having so much fun and it in in a way it like broke the fourth wall like there are moments where and i want to ask you here it's like i don't know if you even reading off the prompter like are you just making up all this shit like this is a big fucking moment i did the brady one there's a it's a big moment where you're going okay i've been working on this i want to make sure that everything goes well but it felt like you were just kind of letting it rip well okay

like it felt so natural yours so okay could you because a lot of people don't really understand the amount of preparation it is a production and they're you running jokes with their writers

did you guys do that so basically so i had a few guys that that were working with me and they were fantastic me too yeah and like and you should have the guys that kind of like understand your voice and um it was not to make this about me but it was a crazy weekend we don't make it about us okay so it was like i was doing massive square garden friday saturday and then i had to go do the roast sunday so basically i was like okay i have two weeks to work on the roast and then i want to make sure i'm ready for a massive square garden yeah so it was like this it was crazy week but some amazing guys that helped me write right uh robbie slovick ryan nessen uh matt broussard uh tyler morrison i want to make sure i'm getting all the guys anyway uh but uh i had it all kind of mapped out but there is that part of you when you're up there you're like man i just want to be in this moment and i felt like the times where i kind of like segued away yes were like the real list i saw dana white in the audience and i like had a joke on him like there were just these and i saw you do that or at least it felt like you were doing that's what happened that's what You saw the whole place just get caught up in it. It was like the most pure version of what you wanted to say. That's right. And now instead of like us analyzing the misdirection of your joke, we're caught up on your energy.

Absolutely. And that's what you want. And that's what American humor is all about. This is an international experience because everybody got Netflix. But I agree with you. For me, I took a meeting with Netflix and I pitched an idea that I wanted to do with them. And they were like, oh, that's interesting. Great idea. Would you do Netflix as a joke? I was like, sure, you want me to do that? So they said, okay, let's start there. So they offered me the Ice House in Pasadena. Yeah. The 100-plus seat room. It wasn't no big room, right? Great room. That's right. Very intimate. See, I like the intimacy of the comedy club.

There's something beautiful there. You can't beat it.

The connection is built there. That's right. Theaters are great. They're amazing. But you cannot hold your lemon pepper wings and your drink on your lap at a theater. You can literally, like, touch everybody in the club. You can slap somebody in the back because you don't know.

Did you hear what the fuck you just said? Also, everyone can see everyone else. That's right. And it brings people together.

And you can feel, okay, you don't like this. Okay, let me transition over to that. Because I'm doing, like, political humor on the road. I'm doing, I'm talking about being a Republican. I'm doing Trump jokes. I'm doing, you know, why the Democrats are going to continue to lose election jokes. But I'm using every word in the lexicon and telling them why I'm using these words. So in a comedy club, it's more intimate. But I got a couple of calls from my colleagues saying, you're too big. You need to be in the Hollywood Bowl show. You need to be in the this, this, this. Why would you do a little bitty room like that? Why not? Why not? If this is where we work, this is where we work.

I think sometimes people get caught up on, like, the perception of what you should be doing instead of, like, what you choose to be doing. Absolutely. And I think you've been in the game long enough where, like, maybe you're not as worried about that. I think, like, when people are first getting there, a little bit of momentum. Yes. And I remember being in that position where it's just like, all right, what should we do? What is the venue we should be doing? Right. And then I think after you do those things, you go, well, what do I want to do for where I'm at in my hour?

There you go. And see, for me, I wanted to do, I asked him, I said, will you allow me to bring the show that I'm doing? I'm doing the I Need a Job Tour. Will you allow me to bring that show into the Ice House? They said, sure. Whatever you want to do is your night. So I go on first. Then it's Kyle Irby goes up. Now, Mike Washington usually travels with us, but we're all such close family. You'll start your own show? Oh, absolutely.

And then you bring up comics? Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. And that's what I was trying to advance. Oh, interesting. That's the show that I really want to do because I think that there's a camaraderie of comics. There are a lot of comics out there that think that their career, they're not going to have it. But there's some great comics out there that need us to pull them up and go, come on, it's not over for you. You could be Kathy Griffin. Yeah. Come on, girl. So you had that issue with the head, with the bloody head. okay come on back tammy pescatelli great comic when you're talking about melanie camacho but you're talking about there are a lot of old school comics yeah that need to be put back in the mix so i asked could i do this and then they said okay what about bt kingsley i was like cool so we did

the show the way we do it and you're doing time in between like if i'm going to see cheryl yeah and i want and i want more than just the opening am i going to get cheryl throughout the whole

night you get what i would do as a headliner you get that up front oh you open the whole thing yeah i open the show and you get that up front and then kyle comes up and he does the show but when mike washington is with us i do what i do then kyle comes up then then me and kyle got a banter then we bring up mike washington and then he does what he does and then me and mike got a banter so it's like being in a comedy team with everybody on the show and it's i say it's a house party inside of a comedy club and it's fun but also we run it the time is right because it helps me do better on time of course you know if you want to be in the club all night long but these people have been here setting up before you were here come on let's get them in let's entertain and let's feed them put drinks and food in them and get them out so they can go home happy right so but when doing this for netflix this small room it put my name on the map so then somebody calls me and says um would you be willing to do the kevin hart roast i said of course how how long

before the roast do you agree to it oh we had to be maybe a week so you would have to prep no way so everybody else has probably been prepping for at least a month yeah i think i think i think about

uh i i'm not sure i don't know can somebody ask kyle's out there he'll he'll know the exact time I know I had enough time to, as soon as they asked, and I didn't know if I had it, I started looking for outfits online. Alice and Olivia. Alice plus Olivia is where the outfit came from. And then I went to Amazon. It's this shirt. And I'm thinking, okay, what shoes can I walk in? And I called my glam guy, Dale McDonald. And I said, listen, can you come into town to put my face together for the Ice House show? Can you stay over and do this? And he was like, yeah, I got you. So I pulled. my team together uh erna foucher is my con my conscious she runs my foundation harry sutherland runs part of my foundation and he's the person that hooks me up with corporations because he's an elected county commissioner so i brought my team in and i said we're going to network this see what we can get out of it but putting the set together and dealing with their writers because did you have to run jokes with their writers too so what what what we basically did

was say hey does anybody have these jokes yeah and i knew i was going up at the end okay so i was basically like just tell me if anybody has this yeah and i'll just scrap it because i don't want to get to the end of the show and then a lot of the stuff has been used that's right that's right

unless you can make it better if you can make it better that's right that that's the key you got to make it better like with the tony hanscliffe george floyd joke yeah yeah i don't think god sent me a good enough comeback but because pete davidson hit with the charlie kirk joke for the cookout coalition i was like oh yeah he got you right he got you but for me um i wanted to learn to work with other people's writers and so we could see that they were writing for everybody yeah and what was working what wasn't working but what was funny to me they had the brunch oh

The one where you're like, yeah, we fucked. Me and Kevin fucked. Yeah. He's making all this noise. He's making all this noise. Kevin, shut up before someone thinks I'm watching one of your movies.

And so I'm taking what they were.

But it looked like you weren't going to tell it. I wasn't.

Because I was like, move. Go through the teleprompter.

But that was the beautiful moment for the consumer, right? Yeah. It's like, this wasn't supposed to happen. And Kevin's like, nah, you got to tell it.

But I'm looking at the prompter. Yeah. And so for me, I like I like to be prepared so that you know where you can ad lib. If you're not if you're not prepared and you ad lib, you could lose. You don't know what's going on. So in working with them and then Vanessa Graddick and Kyle Irby, Ian Edwards, Chris Spencer. It was a lot of people. I was like, what you got? What you got? Yeah. But the fact that I could talk to Nikki Glaser at the luncheon. Yeah. Okay, so they had the brunch. Everybody's there. Get to hug and talk to your colleagues. And I said, Nikki, how they coming? They said, they coming for you. I said, why they coming to me? What the fuck is that? What am I? I'm the bitch that just lost a daytime talk show. I need a job. I need to work. Why they coming at me? And she said, they coming for you. Hard. And I met Tony at the brunch. Tony Henskos walks up to me. He said, I'm Tony Henskos. I said, I know. And I said, how you coming? he said i'm coming uh your husband's suicide and you're being raped no jesus and i said he said well what was he thinking i said you better be funny i said that's i said if it ain't funny i said i'm gonna get your ass i swear i'm gonna get you if it ain't funny i said it better be funny he said well what about you i said my husband been dead you know and then that's when i thought what are you gonna say back to him when he says it and i'm thinking what do you say back to him then and but he he's a great villain yes he's the snidely whiplash of comedy right now if

we're looking at comedy as wrestling yes he is the perfect heel absolutely absolutely slither it

yes but here's the thing about this generation of roasting it's not like when it was private at the friars club yeah and it was digs against people and we knew each other we knew it wasn't personal and then it's not like when dean martin and you got milton burl who tells the best who has the best dick jokes in the industry why because he's got a big ass dick and he was blowing the backs out of scarlet in the 40s 50s oh yeah milton burl because he's not attractive in the face but you were throwing that dick on the back yeah you were blowing them bitches out so for me it's not the same thing but they roast at a certain level right but the fact that he came to me with respect yeah and i said okay it better be good i said that's all it just better be good and so shane gillis calls me and i said first people say well shane wants to talk to you i said give my number let's talk and i said shane uh i said your name i said it's a great western he said that's what i'm named after i said good i said if you don't come hard and gonna come correct and this shit ain't funny i said i'm gonna pop you like doc holliday in tombstone That's my favorite movie. I love Shame and Tombstone. So we laughed and we joked. But then even running the jokes and having other comics go, nah, and then running them through the prompter because I want to get my cadence right. I don't want to be reading something. I want to be feeling and giving life. But I kept asking God on that stage, give me the words. Give me the words that the audience needs me to say.

In the moment?

Yeah. Because I had a piece of paper and an ink pen, and me and Tony are sitting next to each other, and we're laughing and talking, and I'm getting to know him. I'm getting to feel him, that he's not all the way this dude. He's the dude that talked about Puerto Rico. But if the Puerto Ricans ain't threw hands on you every time they see you, okay, what is it? Is it humor?

People don't want to believe this, but Tony is a very sweet guy.

He is very much so.

People will not want to be because people make up their minds without really understanding who somebody is.

And that's why I went to Austin to do Kill Tony.

Yeah, I saw it.

I went there to do it because I'm trying. I'm not going to change you. I don't believe in changing someone. I believe in influencing them to be their better self and evolution. So you can be that right now because you're making a lot of money. You make a lot of money. That's why I said what I said. Midget and retard. Retard, yeah. Okay. What is the funny word? Little people? Yeah.

or midget midget okay disabled or retard this i mean retard okay there we go okay but here's the

thing if you push the pendulum too far to politically correctness yeah then people are going to fight back with all of what you do right yeah and then you pointed us that's why i said i'm glad you white male comics are out there doing what you're doing because we were getting cast. You know, GLAAD had me on their website as a homophobe. No. Yes, for a joke that I told at Comic View. And I thought I was telling a civil rights joke. And they said I was a homophobe. Oh, I would say one day, because I'm writing a book called I'm Fat Because of You. Yeah. It's my life story. So I think we're going to put that story in there. Okay. But the punchline is Dick is like secret deodorant. Dick is like secret deodorant. It's strong enough for a man, but it's made for a woman. And that's the punchline. That's what makes you a homophobe? It's all the stuff that I'm comparing it to, to say, of our struggle, and you're comparing it to this. And they said I was a homophobe. But I laid it out. I laid it out from the Middle Passage, everything.

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hymns.com slash flagrant so you go back to people being upset about jokes that were told at this roast was racist of course it is yeah it's racial of course it is yeah but when we're looking at you guys say things then they say well it opens the door that is but paul mooney used to walk white

people out of carolines that was one of the most unique comedy experiences yes because paul would get these white women it was also the women he would get them in their feelings but paul paul would say wild shit don't get me wrong yeah but he was hilarious and it was well written

he had a pen that's right but it was wild jackie mason yeah jackie see people don't understand And I'm not giving cover to racism. What I'm saying is don't get mad, get motivated. If you are mad about this, then be mad that farmers are now losing their farms in these red states. Be mad that 300,000 women lost a job.

But they're not going to do that because there's no clicks or virtue signaling or white knighting based on that. There's no pats on the back based on that.

Well, here's your problem, though. So you want to talk about a roast that we did with an expectation of us being superheroes. But you go to your job every day and Bob from accounting tells the worst jokes in the world. But you ain't did shit to Bob from accounting. But you want us to stand up. If you and I were on the dais, we were supposed to slap Tony, right? They wanted us to. Well, here's the problem. I need you to go to your job and slap the motherfucker that tells me the same thing. if that's what you want if that's if we throw in hands if that's what you're doing we were talking

about this on the pod it was interesting thing because like i think i think a lot of the outrage maybe came from this was huge all over social yes and when you're looking at like your friends pictures of their kids and vacations and then all of a sudden this joke pops up on your screen that you didn't really elect to watch it's just kind of thrown in your face and you're like you know what the fuck is going on right when you're at home and you choose to click on the roast of kevin hart that's right knowing it's going to be wild right i don't know if people had that much of a reaction there may be moments where they're like oh that joke was harsh or do these people

really not like each other yeah because i was even like damn what but they didn't want us to know what people were saying which i think is better right it's a reaction yeah it's a reaction but then people are like criticizing us saying well you sat there and you laughed at it well first somebody had to clear that joke so what i'm thinking is who cleared the joke so if you cleared the joke then that's the type of humor we go on with whether it was funny or not funny but on the same token it is a roast that's the thing people got people got to understand a rose

is different than a stand the back that's right and mark you had a great way of describing this where you were like uh it's like seeing a street fight can be like brutally violent yeah but then seeing a ufc fight where you know this is the point of what these guys are doing and they all signed up for it it can still be brutally violent but it's a little bit more digestible yes it's

digestible it's contextualized but at the same time if you're scrolling at 8 a.m and like you're having breakfast with your kid did you see this and then you see a guy getting punched in the face 10 times you're like this is so violent why does anyone watch this but it's being pushed onto you

exactly the algorithm so if what i've said to everybody i'm not gonna get all these interviews right and i'm gonna come to my thoughts but here's the thing radio stations everybody that's arguing uh dl and big j going back and forward with each other yeah i'm like why well but here's the thing though listen they giving as good as they get when they put up big j the meme of big j as roseanne it was hilarious it made me laugh it was hilarious right but then when they pulling up dls old stuff i would never do this that's right that's right okay that's comics that's that's comics were not

perfect man especially if we're talking on a podcast or like a talk show for 10 years we're gonna say some wild shit that's right that is gonna present ourselves as hypocritical if we're

white knighting about something if we're trying we are hypocritical yeah because we evolve in that state but you're doing radio time spent listening so you're arguing about this you're talking about this hey when we come back dr such and such is going to talk about his reasons why the roast was not applicable okay it's time spent listening it's advertisement now

People that didn't have Netflix now got Netflix. Right. People that didn't see the roast now watch it. So something that had 13.8 now has 15.

Oh, they told me the roast numbers for Kevin Hart were fantastic.

Yes, it's big. But you know what? I thought the genius was you put what looked like an attack upon a black female comic up against the manosphere. So if you love Sheryl Underwood and you're watching them beat her down, right? now you're like sure do something do something and did something that's right if you say anything that sound like you will not make it out of inglewood alive i love a rut yeah this is the motherfucking forum yeah yeah you will respect us in this house yeah so for me i felt that god sent me and i was produced to deliver for everybody that thought what was being said was inappropriate

So God sent you to call Shane a retard.

I believe it.

Because I asked him.

No, I asked him. Give me the words. Give me the words. Give me the words. Give me the words. Give me the words. Give me the words. Listen, I'm not talking about you, Kevin, as the midget. But I'm talking about you, Shane, as your retard. But also that January 6th joke. Oh, yeah. Now, that was written. And I said, that's the one I want. Because I asked Nikki. I said, Nikki, give me some pointers. And there's two female comics talking to each other, right? Well, we're supposed to be mortal enemies. White woman, right? Black woman. We're supposed to be mortal enemies, right? Are you? No. Well, society would want us to be mortal enemies. Oh, really? Chelsea Handler. She comes to me at the brunch and she says, listen, I'm not coming for you. I said, listen, I got a couple on you, but they're not bad, you know? So we're talking, but that's camaraderie, right? So when Nikki says, tell them to give you the hardest stuff. So some of the stuff they said, I said, that don't even sound like me. No. No, I said, give me something. We want to make this a great roast. We want to do Kevin proud, right? And for Kevin to say, sure, I want you to do what you do. And then for my team to go, here's what you need. Here's where you are at your best. And then I'm feeling the audience because some of the jokes the audience didn't like. Some of the jokes they like, but they didn't know why they liked it. And then also Hollywood is jaded. California is jaded. So they're not laughing like if we was in Kentucky and they're slapping them. And we're having a good time. But then I thought.

Now, you got them moving.

Yes. Speak to the room. Speak to the room.

Oh, you say earlier in the roast, maybe they weren't really cooked. Because when you were up there, I thought they were standing up.

Well, I did not. And, you know, it's kind of out of out of body experience because I didn't realize what was happening. What I felt was, OK, Cheryl, there's nobody's getting up because I'm listening and nobody's saying answer them, answer them back. Let them know you ain't said nothing but a motherfucking word. where the fuck you think you at you know this is a roast of kevin hart yeah we still black up in

this motherfucker right so were you when you were watching it what were you thinking i think the my biggest takeaway was that it felt like there was some animosity between some of the comics that went up yes like that's why i think it felt a little bit different like other roasts it's like oh we all like each other so there's more love here but it seemed like there were some people that went up that actually didn't like each other so that's why some of the jokes is like oh and but

but to me what i felt and really i did talk to god i said listen i'm up here with my colleagues yeah these are these are gentlemen that i'm trying to get to know yeah um that i need to understand what is comedy right now this is what comedy is right now yeah so sure if you're in this game you better figure out what it is right now but then i thought oh wait a minute because i used to say oh fake cracker pecker one of my first jokes that i wrote what go good with chili crackers yeah now that's you mentioned white people let's talk about that motherfucker why do you carry your personal stage because white folks still any race of people take land from the indians or sure enough take two or three dollars out your purse yeah those are jokes i'm telling because i'm trying to express the history of this country right but then if you get to do comedy long enough, you evolve into something else. Shane will evolve. Tony will evolve. But if we work together, just think of the type of movies we can make. We could recreate Smoke and the Bandit. I told Shane, I said, we need to redo Smoke and the Bandit. You be Burt Reynolds and I'll be Jerry Reed. You know, redo Cannonball Run. Let's get together. All of us as comics should be working on content together so we can keep american humor alive and we can pay our bills and our mortgages and do things for our foundations because do you have a

foundation i have a foundation i work with not my my personal one but it's not my personal but

wouldn't it be great if we all got together and it wasn't just netflix roasting somebody how about we roast to benefit something yes with you. good enough that we can roast to benefit something we can still hit somebody not as hardcore because netflix i think that's why i said free speech is alive and well and i thank you netflix yeah why because i think people push too far into political correctness the pronouns and stuff so people got mad because i gotta call you a pronoun you know like i do transgender i'm supposed to be transphobic yeah i'm supposed to be homophobic and i do all of this in my show yeah where i talk about these things that i'm supposed to be yeah but you won't get to know me and understand i'm not against you just because i'm pro me don't mean i'm against you right but some of these things i just can't why are we agreeing with why why can't we talk about it and that's how i looked at me participating in this roast and then i found that i really want to get to know everybody draymond green scared to death he was scared of you so no he was scared to do the roast so we're in the green room

it's terrifying imagine someone who's never done comedy before doing on the biggest stage in front of the most people you know what i told him what i said listen you play basketball yeah i said i

don't you coming into what i do so you don't have to be me get through it yeah the expectation is definitely lower i said take a deep breath i had him call chris spencer and i said you talked to chris i said but even if you get a chuckle that's your standing on yeah even if you get a he you a trip dreamer yeah that's a standing up for you yeah you're not gonna get what they're gonna get because we've been doing this we know how to course correct quickly that joke didn't work let's go to something else yeah we know how to feed off the crowd this is what we do yeah if i

was playing basketball that ain't what i do yeah if i hit the rim i'd be happy if i if i can just

dribble a little bit you know but to talk to them to talk to lizzo and say girl don't worry take a

She was another one that did fantastic off of energy. Yes. She seemed like she was enjoying the moment. Yes. And, again, it's a very difficult thing to communicate to somebody who's nervous, to be like, hey, if you just don't be nervous and have fun, it will be great. Relax. Because it's the hardest thing to do is when you're nervous, just, oh, okay, well, I guess I'll just turn that off and have fun. But the people, they can kind of embrace that. I felt bad for Draymond because he kept getting booed by all the Lakers fans.

imagine you doing this for the first time and you're getting booed like yes but now he once you get through it it's over i think naeem uh did a wonderful job oh yeah and i really would have wanted tiffany uh while i was getting beat up to come down and go hold on bitch let me let me help you with some of this shit and we show what black female comics can do when we're in it uh i thought regina hall represented a side of the audience that was like what the fuck is happening what y'all talking about she represented viewer yeah um and to me um i thought chelsea handler had the the the types of material the type of material like god damn that joke we talk about them being pussies and the only reason they only way they go in the saudi arabia is to go get the money yeah i thought hell yeah yeah exactly let's go again this year yeah but i don't know you know my feeling is i don't know like people say well cheryl why don't you do international shows yeah i don't know if it translates yes it does

really not only would you translate but like you got to understand a lot of people learn english through comedy so the biggest thing that the industry missed is they thought that comedy didn't translate overseas okay so they wouldn't like spend big money on like hollywood comedy movies because they're like there's no international audience and when they stopped selling dvds the way that they made up for that you know money disparity is international box office yeah so then they started making all these like big action movies because they're like listen if they're not really talking but there's action they'll watch it overseas what they didn't realize is that when you go overseas and meet people who speak english a lot of times they learned english from watching family guy they learned english from watching the symptoms they learned english from watching uh the wayne's brothers yes literally was a big one friends or like ray like the ray romano show what was it everybody was everybody was right it's like and it's it's it's amazing and also now with youtube and so much comedy on youtube and social media since they don't have a comedy channel in their country they'll watch a lot of their stand-up on youtube really so i was able to tour internationally for a long time simply just by putting stuff out on youtube and now with this success i mean i'm sure you'll be able to do it and they know english yeah that's the other thing it's like if you're coming from a small country you don't have your own like film studio that makes all your movies just for you but you still need to watch tv so what tv do you watch you watch america you're right well i am watching all the same dude when i was in when i was in the middle east because we've done abu dhabi dubai we did the riyadh festival and like how was it it was awesome really it was awesome and they how dirty could you go as dirty as you want girls can do that yeah there was gay girls on it really yeah they killed him no no no that's not true that's not that is not true they killed him they had a falcon just peck at him

well that's why i'm doing an animated uh vehicle and it's for nothing but comedians and it's how we talk at the roast how we talk when we're just talking to each other and I'm hoping that Netflix will be interested in that

oh what I was saying about that was that like a lot of them are getting a lot first of all a lot of them are like just getting educated in America and they're more aware of American isms and culture than Europeans yeah because Europeans like a lot of them have like built up they have their own TV shows they have their own everything so it's like yeah maybe they'll watch a big blockbuster American movie but not as much right but if you're from like a small country in the middle east the only thing you're watching is foreign shit really yeah they don't have 40 sitcoms that are all made there there's not enough people for it so they're more aware of our like slang they're more aware of our cultural shit yeah then maybe if you went to france or if you went to belgium so you would

crush over there well i will tell you it's uh i knew something was different than walking through the airport. I'm going to stare at. It's not just the flight attendants. It's like really young dudes are gazing at me. What's happening? Do you know me? It's all these people that are I don't know. It's a word for it. What is it? Involuntary celibacy.

Incels. Involuntary celibates. The incels. They're horny. Remember when you're in Japan? remember how horny those guys were these guys are hornier

GSA ain't gonna protect you

no

when I rode the train in Japan when I was in the military they did some wild shit on the train in Japan and this dude just walked up and started rubbing my skin and I was like where's the police what the fuck is happening and the translator said

we nuked them

they've never seen it they've never seen it they've never seen it before they've never seen anybody alive with this color skin wow so they were fascinated by it yeah but it was stimulating and i was like well get me off the train yeah but to me uh and a lot of people that was all you sold out they offered you a special and you just took it to let them crucify the black community like that that's not

what happened what happened was you can't respond to all the like there's always going to be some out there is going to have a negative

I need to eat off these jokes I don't like to record material I want to be Henny Youngman take my wife please until I die because I believe you can write jokes every day but you can only polish them on stage yes that's true so do you have jokes in your set that are years old no not years yeah see I got stuff that's decades old that people you bring you put out specials already I did Laughapalooza with Jamie Foxx And Jamie Foxx and Marcus King. But I wanted to put the September 11th material on film because I was proud of our country. But I was getting booed when I came out as – I'm a Republican. And I'm like a Bush – a baby Bush Republican. I was like, get their asses. Get their asses. And the jokes – if you go back and look at the laughing for those –

You're saying a woman that grew up in a military family that ended up going into the Air Force herself?

Yeah, but I'm different.

What a crazy idea.

Well, but, you know, we were Republicans before we were Democrats, you know, and if you if you if it wasn't Trump saying things, we will be into a lot of this. I right. Right. But what Trump and what's happening now? So you vote for this motherfucker and now he doesn't fuck shit up. But but I'm giving both sides. Yeah. And then you got the Clintons on the other side, which allows you to tell the greatest house. That's right. And the greatest dick jokes in the world. Right. Yeah. So to me, that's the set. But then when Netflix made me an offer, I couldn't refuse because I kept saying, no, no, I got to live off of this. This is how I eat. I don't have a TV show anymore and I have responsibility, but I also have people who depend on me. You can write new stuff. We saw you put together new stuff on stage. You can't polish it on stage. How did you do it over all these years? Well, but with the roast, see, the roast.

I'm saying your act over years. This is decades.

I add to if something happens and I go, oh, what do I want to talk about? And then but then I lose some things, you know, I got great Oprah Winfrey jokes, but then I lose it. And then do I get to talk about the homosexuality stuff? And then I'm trying to figure out, do I want to bring those jokes back to go? This is how I got canceled. I got canceled from telling this joke. I kind of want to. Instruct the special like that because I want people to get to know me, but I also want people to understand this is what I think is funny, and this is what I want to say. When you were booing me because I said I like President Bush, I want him to get they motherfucking asses, right? But you booing me for this, but you cashed the checks that he sent. You hate this motherfucker, but you cashed the checks. Now, Trump is a totally different entity. he should have stayed his ass at home start fucking with the Knicks we'd be on 3-0 that's right you're fucking right but you selfish ass motherfucker you came out here you fucked up traffic you did all this bullshit you should have stayed your ass in the White House did you go last night? no, I was in the vicinity but the police told me stop wandering you little hoish ass looking for sad Knicks friends to have sex with there was a lot of

all right guys take a break for a second talk space is the number one rated online therapy bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime anywhere yes you're gonna be doing this online yes that's how everybody does therapy now you're no longer going into a little office with like shitty artwork on the wall so it doesn't look barren while you bare your soul you're doing it over the phone you're doing it over zoom talk space is in network therapy psychiatry it is covered by most insurers and most insured members pay a copay of zero dollars switch providers at no cost find the licensed provider that's uh the right fit for your needs talkspace is affordable even out of pocket therapy can be costly but part of the mission of talkspace is to provide quality care that is accessible and affordable whether you or not you are insured as a listener of this podcast you're going to get 80 off of your first month with talkspace when you go to talkspace.com slash flagrant and enter the promo code space 80 that's s-p-a-c-e-8-0 to match with a licensed therapist today go to talkspace.com slash flagrant and enter the promo code space 80 i realized something recently sleep is everything i hate to be one of these guys i genuinely hate it because i like to stay up late and i have to wake up early because i have kids the reality of the matter is sleep dictates everything especially at my age when you're like 20 years old i don't even know if sleep is necessary to be honest with you and then you hit 40 and it's like if you don't sleep there's just no way that you can be a functional human being i didn't take it seriously until i switched to brooklyn bedding let me tell you about brooklyn bedding this mattress is different i'm not just crashing anymore i'm actually recovering if you want to wake up feeling aligned rested like your body actually reset overnight which is the whole fucking point of going to sleep i recommend getting yourself a mattress from brooklyn bedding they're not just throwing together some random mattress they design and build everything themselves in their own factory in arizona no middleman no gimmicks just quality and they've got options for everybody whatever your sleep style is they've got something for you if you like to sleep hot like i do they actually have mattresses that stay cool all night also this is big they're endorsed by the american chiropractic association so your back isn't going to get cooked while you sleep and you don't have to stress trying it either this is the best part they give you a 120 night trial if you don't love it you can swap it out simple so do yourself a favor go to brooklynbetting.com use the promo code flagrant at checkout to get 30 off site wide that's brooklynbetting.com promo code flagrant for 30 off get your sleep right everything else gets easier are you a knicks fan i'm a sports enthusiast

i'm more football player i tried basketball players i'm gonna tell a story in the book someone from the 76ers pulled me out of a comedy club and it was the greatest experience so we're putting it in the book oh are you going to say the name I'm not sure because some of these men we're going to change the name to protect the innocent we don't know if they're married now you know but it's a great it's a great story it's a really great story it involves the fact that I'm rarely alone anywhere because I just feel like getting gaffled i'm getting fucked up somewhere yeah you know uh looking for mr goodbar remember that movie where old girl is out there fucking dudes and the dude stabs her at the end of the oh sorry no spoiler alert it's all it's all but but i'm never alone so the person who knows yeah people have witnessed me be infatuated by somebody i don't want to give the book more football

players than basketball but this basketball player let's say it's a fake name maybe it was He was known as Dr. K. No. No. If I could have, I would have. If I could have. And there were a couple of people that I was going to get. You were Ryan? Yeah, man. There was a couple of people I was like, hey, so what are you doing after this? Or they'll say, I don't even like that short, dark-skinned girl. You don't like me now. But you will like me later. I know how to keep a secret. And I got one good skill. One. One good skill that I know. And that's what I talk about in the show. I talk about it in the show, what I can do and what I can't do. But those jokes, I try not to record them all the time.

Because you want to hold them for a big moment.

No, I really like for people to have fun in it because I like sexual material. I like profane material. I like racial material, spiritual material. I talk about abortion. I talk about transgender. As a matter of fact, when Shane and I were talking, we almost have the same set structure. Topic list. Topic list, that's right. And so I was like, oh, because I'm going in the right direction. Either you're going to be offended or you're going to laugh real hard. Sometimes people yell out, okay, we're here to hear comedy. And I tell them, if there's a white man yelling, hold on, sir, I'm going to get to some material that you're really going to appreciate. Let me get through this. In 10 minutes. That's right. Let me get through this political stuff. this political stuff is for them yeah and for us yeah you know but that's what i like about

the comedy be able to do topics and uh can i ask you a chicago war question uh-huh um bernie bernie man bernie is like transformative for me in like my comedy how so like well i saw him i remember watching kings of comedy in a movie theater on 11th street and 3rd avenue with for my friends and it was the hardest i've ever ever laughed watching something eddie was the hardest i ever laughed listening i listened to an audio cassette with my dad eddie murphy eddie's yeah delirious and i listened to it with my dad and that big i think that moment right there made me become a comedian many years later yes but bernie it was i was watching somebody that like i just never had seen someone be so naturally funny that i didn't even know if it was jokes i didn't know if it was a set i didn't know if it was somebody that was truly like listening to the crowd yeah like the crowd was like an instrument for him so it was like material

but also i know how to play off of your energy and the words at that time to talk about the little boy yes and and use that with the two little one he's a that's right he kind of muffled it Yes, at him downstairs. At him downstairs.

To Milken Cook. Yes, that's right. But most people don't know. But did you see him in Chicago?

Look, Bernie was a mentor to all of us that were coming up.

So you were watching him when he had his, like, because he had a room, right? Yes.

That he would host weekly? That we would go do the room, and he would do the Cotton Club, and we would go do the Cotton Club. But we knew Bernie from the neighborhood. He was called Blue. Oh, so you knew him growing up? Yeah, he was blue because he was so black, he was blue. That's what we were calling. Hey, what's up, Blue? You know, and he would come to my neighborhood because I think he was friends with the Cobb family across the street in my old neighborhood in Chicago. So when we were coming up as comics, as a matter of fact, it was Bernie that was telling us, dress up, come on time. You know, he was a mentor to us as comics. And when they did the 25th anniversary of Deaf Comedy Jam. I ain't afraid of you, motherfuckers. And Chris Rock said the two people he didn't want to follow. Oh, no people. Cheryl Underwood and Bernie Mac. Oh, wow. Really? Chris Rock said he didn't want to follow either one of us. But Bernie, a big brother to us. And then when they did Kings.

When you would watch him at that room, what was the name of the room that he would do weekly?

It was two of them. It was the Roberts 600 room, I think. And then he did the Cotton Club. Cotton Club, okay. Cotton Club.

He's hosting it, right? Yes. Is he every night just doing different stuff? Is he riffing every night? So it was purely, he was like a magician in a way. Absolutely. In his purest form, he's a comedian. He could just hold attention.

Yes, absolutely. And for Bernie, if you're talking about the comedians that you look up to and study, because I tell young comics, what can you tell me that I need to learn about comedy? I said, find your favorite comic and study mechanics. Don't take jokes. Yeah, yeah.

But learn how they tell jokes. That's right. Learn how they hold attention. That's right. Cadence.

yeah that's why the social media comic is good yeah but if you don't have a point of view and a set structure yeah what happens when those that those sketches are not hitting yeah right or your

crowd on stage it's just a different it's a different you got to learn it so bernie mac

was one and and i would say for me All right. When I was coming up in comedy, Mitch Hedberg. Yeah, Mitch was fantastic. So I was in love with Mitch. I was like, if we would just marry each other, we'd be a power couple.

So you just loved him as a, did you look, because Mitch was operating on two frequencies. He was like, you weren't sure if he was playing a character or this was truly him. But you weren't looking at somebody who was being like the quintessential straight man. He was different and he was on his own rhythm. And then he would have these jokes that seem like they could come through a personality like he had. But he's operating on two, like, you could laugh at him without telling the joke. Absolutely. And Bernie had that, too. Bernie had it, too.

Bill Hicks.

Hicks. Oh, Bill Hicks. Hicks was, like, structure, but he had a strong point of view.

Yeah, but he was so intellectually sound, you know, because I'm old school. I'm watching comics. People said, well, did you realize you were a black female comic? no i really believe that i'm a old jewish comic from somewhere this is so because when i came up

all i was watching was deaf comedy jam that was my only real introduction to comedy i didn't really i didn't i never saw seinfeld do stand-up like i knew he had a tv show yeah so but that's all that

was on tv for me see i'm talking about old school lenny bruce you know i'm talking about that old richard prior to i was in a room where richard prior was in the room and i just felt this energy pulling me and i felt like don't do it because i'm like have you ever been wrong with no i just stood behind him i stood behind him and just digest it no um same thing with michael jackson um when they were doing those rallies for michael jackson to protect him and i was in in one of those uh events right and sometimes you don't want to walk up to the person because you don't want to break that energy that's that's pulling you toward him um after the bet comedy awards the first one uh eddie murphy was in the room and i ran up to him but i stopped myself he's wearing this cold-blooded vanilla outfit vanilla sweater had to be cashmere vanilla slacks everything matched right and i almost reached out to touch him and i pulled back i said mr murphy and he said i know exactly who you are i was like you know so when you for me i never want to intrude on someone's energy i would rather even when i was going to the republican conventions yeah and and going to the dnc icons in politics you know bill clinton very sexual power you felt it hell yeah the hell i used to tell the story about i put my hand out drawers just fell down i was like i should have wore slacks because it's some people just have this energy yeah and and this pull to you and i think people need to respect you know i know people want to run up and take selfies and

do some sometimes respect the energy especially if you really respect the person absolutely and

it's not like we don't want to how many people walk up to you and want to take a picture and

they don't care what you're doing a bunch i'll be honest like as long as in my in my experience people have been very respectful if i'm with my kids or whatever like they're almost like embarrassed to ask like i know you're with your family it would it be possible yeah and if you approached that energy i'm so that's how i feel i'm because you're basically going i know that you're having a moment with your family but if it's possible and every single time if i can i

will when i first did deaf comedy jam and i said i told my dad i said people are walking up to me they want to talk to me and he said well how many black people do you know will be able to talk to someone they saw on tv heard on the radio saw in a movie great perspective respect that yeah but he also said no matter who the person is talk to everybody like you're talking to jesus and you can't go wrong uh secondarily your job is no better and no worse but respect what other people do for a living and respect their time yeah so for me and i'm a female comic who's very male directed i'm very patriarchal that's why my sets were constructed when i first started doing comedy women were popping out of my show like the great pumpkin i'm not sucking no man dick i'm not And I'm like, but that's why you're sitting by yourself. That's why you're mad that your man is talking to me because I'm not pretty. Like, you know, I'm not I'm not the stereotypical aesthetic attractiveness. I'm more intellectual. I'm more energy driven. I'm more like I can talk sports and politics and current events, but I'm also. You're waivey. Yeah, but I know. OK, now that's the question. in let's ask the question then if i am that then why can i find him you got to let them get out

their system what do you mean yeah like when you're young when guys are young and they want to wear the cape you know what i mean they want to fly around a little bit and have some fun but like eventually you don't want like some 23 year old sitting next to you on vacation yeah you know scrolling your fucking phone the whole time you're like i'd rather shoot myself in the head i want something that i can enjoy and have fun with and uh loves to do that thing you love to do

Well, but here's the catch. I think that some men, absolutely, and I would like, okay, depends on how long you want this to be. If you wanted one night, you can have it all one night, but I'll never talk to you again. Ooh. What is it? We didn't build nothing. What is this? Do you want to hit it and quit it? I'll show you what hit and quit it is. And they usually look all pitiful. You know, that's why I sneak out of rooms because they're looking sad. I thought we were gone. No, you see.

I see why the guy in Japan was having a hard time.

right but you said you just want you said you said you just want this okay i'm gonna give you

what you said you wanted most guys are not used to a woman being as like up front yeah with what

she wants as you are well it's rarely what i want i will trade a man yeah yeah into me i will trade you for me to get intimacy yeah in my past i would trade you an action for intimacy and now you're not going to do that anymore i try not to nick's tickets i gotta do something exchange ain't no robbery hardwood for hardwood and i'm not doing it for the tickets i'm doing it to show my appreciation that you would consider me worthy of these tickets on the floor yeah where i get to slap I'm Spike Lee and go, man, look at this. But I would like a man to understand, while stand-up comedy is very strong, it's a very sexual thing to do when a woman is doing it. I want to be your companion. I want to be your wife. I want to pick up the dry cleaning. I want to cook when I come home.

That's a tricky combo for you because you need a guy who is not intimidated by your strength and your leadership and your intelligence and, like, the straight talk that you do. Yeah. But at the same time is confident enough to lead you in certain times. And are you confident enough to let them lead is the question.

Absolutely. If you come to me as a man, maybe a traditional man, but if you come to me as a man, then I'm like, oh, this dude is thorough. He got it. Okay, you ready. It doesn't matter race. It doesn't matter age. It doesn't matter station in life. However long I got on this earth, I want to find somebody I can build with that understands this is my job. I'm going to do my job. I'm not sleeping with everybody on the road. I'm not doing all this stuff. Matter of fact, I can't wait to come home to you. And most people don't understand. When you do stand-up comedy, you're quiet. Well, you don't want to talk to me. I've been talking. No, I've been talking. I've been talking, and all this adrenaline is running through my body after the show. So I want to call somebody. How was the show, baby? It was good. Do you miss me? Of course I miss you. Bitch, when you flight land. I'm looking for that guy that understands you have a job, so do I.

What has been the nature of your relationship history lately? Have you been dating?

Well, I guess you got to go outside to date. And I'm kind of a homebody, kind of reclusive. But if somebody would ask me out most for the past few decades, most men just kind of stare at me or gaze at me. And I think they think I have somebody. So they don't they don't ask me. They don't they don't talk. They don't go. So I have to show. Would you like to go out for coffee?

They're probably intimidated. You sound like an incel.

Yes.

But I think, see, I've heard that from women. they're just intimidated by your success and your power and your education i don't know a real man who's intimidating not a lot of real guys well that's right a real man looks at me as an asset yeah right if you're quiet as a man but you're still strong though cheryl

assets are expensive buy an asset a home is an asset assets are expensive yeah but what if we build you ever seen a man buy a home you know how intimidating that is what it's fun it ain't fun When you go and get a loan from the bank and they tell you, oh, God, it's so much. Got to pass inspection. Really? That is intimidating. No. Get in the hotel room for a night. That's easy.

But see, to me, I go into it as, okay, what do I need to have this? What do I need to have this? Okay, check it out. Check it out. Then I send in my lawyer and I send in my accountant and I go, okay, don't come back without it. And then let's go. And I do my job. But see, to me, that's the kind of guy, but that he's more traditional. Well, that's what you'll end up with then. Yeah, somebody that's more traditional, somebody that understands. I want somebody that I can talk to about things and go, did you hear this? Did you hear that? And then somebody that understands, I don't know everything. Yeah. I may project leadership, but I want you to teach me.

me something uh change tire uh let's talk about cryptocurrency which i don't understand yeah nobody nobody does no see i think it's speculation it is if you can get your money in there you know but see to me this is what i wish people would understand about comics yeah we have to know a lot about everything yeah and then we have to keep working and then we have to find other revenue streams making content so that's why you know i'm doing a great american talent search because i I want to bring back the variety show type structure and take it all over America. That's going to be my next tour after we do this, because I think there's a way to merge my daytime persona with the person they saw on the roast. Oh, interesting. Right. And do it all over the country and then turn it to maybe a TV show vehicle. But anything is talent. But if you sing or if you are in a singing group, you have to master the past. classic rock classic country classic soul classic hip-hop classic latin so you have to do some old school stuff that we because nostalgia works of course but if you're a young person doing it or if you're the white fire department somewhere doing new edition yeah see that's gonna bring america together and they got gospel plays that you know we're putting on college campuses you know pwis hbcus community college because i think people need to learn both sides of the entertainment business you think you want to be a performer but maybe you're not the performer maybe you're a director that's right maybe you're audio yeah right so and then i want to try to do something that brings jobs back to california because we just want to drive to work and come

home and sleep in our own beds there's a lot there's a lot that needs to change for that to happen you're talking about entertainment jobs yes how so i think like the easiest way of looking at is to just say, oh, the unions are doing this, or the city is making that. I think that probably the more nuanced way to look at it is that for a long time, making a movie in a place like California was not only the easiest, but also the best. You had the most talented crews there. And when I say the crews, I mean like the lighting guys, the audio guys, whatever. And then as equipment got less expensive and as people got trained in other parts of the world, they could start to be competitive. Like we saw what Tyler did in Atlanta. Yes, in Atlanta, right. And like that's working within politics, like getting these tax rebates and those other things. And like there are other places in America that did it and there's other places internationally. Like we just did this movie Street Fighter. Remember the video game? So we shot that in Australia. And I think it's like 60% off to shoot it out there.

But why can't, first, the right political leadership, the right financial structure.

So I think what has to happen is, like, there's got to be, like, an incentive structure. And, like, I think the easiest version of it is to just be, just to, like, point fingers and blame.

Yeah.

But there's another part where you just go, okay, like, California's been incredibly successful and prolific in making, like, film and TV for a while. Now other places can make high-level film and TV. So maybe California goes, okay, in order for us to stay competitive, we'll have to change something.

That's right. It's going to have to be a paradise shift.

That's the free market economy.

But if you bring a budget, if I want to make a movie, you bring a budget, and California says, okay, do that here. And we're going to help you pay to do that here. I think people have to understand there's so much. The people that I worked with on the talk, the greatest people in the world. So when I got to the roast and I saw the same people I worked with at the talk, I felt safe.

You're like, oh, wow, these people are.

Yes, that's my cameraman. Man, that's my teleprompter person.

That's what you, that's what, I mean, like, we're going, like, I'm going to film a movie out in California this summer. Okay. And, like, I would imagine it's one of, like, a handful of bigger budget movies that are going to be filmed there, which is good.

Yes.

Because there's nothing about this movie where you need to film it there.

Yes.

It was decision made where they're like, we're going to make this here.

But did you have to do reasonably priced other places to get to the money, the finance money?

I would imagine there was like good financing behind the movie. Can I tell you something?

Honestly, not because I apologize. No, please. But OK. So while I was working at the top and I have people that like I'll write the three to five pages and then I'll hand it off to somebody and go just give me a script. Doesn't have to be perfect. Why? Because the first draft is not the last draft. So I have all these scripts. If you go to an agency, they tell you why it's not good. Okay. But I just watched some stuff. This is horrible. So how did that get financed?

Good doesn't always mean it gets made. Right. So I think what happens, without going too inside baseball, I think what happens is there are different networks that have objectives. go hey we're gonna make a show for young adult males yes so you might have the best that's what my animated vehicle is is for young adult males so then your agent's got to find the streamer that is looking for something for young adult males but if you're a streamer that's like we're looking for 24 to 40 women yes present them that they might think it's amazing and they might go it's just not what we're looking for right they might choose a shittier project yes that actually

fits there right but for me now for people that say you sold out by agreeing to do a netflix why is that selling what's the argument for that because there are people who believe that we just sat there and took the beat down of our culture for money from netflix but what what i want people to understand is this is the business we're in i was called to do a job i believe i did the job while i also defended the culture and defended american humor couldn't you also say like just

being up there is representative of the cult like the culture isn't one thing i would imagine it's just like saying like latinos their culture is just salsa it's like it's not just that right and like you being on that stage and having that prolific set and being the talk of the industry yes you could make an argument that that's a huge contribution from the culture that's what i would want people to see and to see well that's what that's what will stick like the controversy lasts for a few weeks that goes away so it's like your longevity after this moment is the culture's

longevity that's opportunities opportunities i wouldn't have these opportunities you don't think

these other you don't think these other streamers are seeing what you do what you did right there and they see that you get a deal and then let's say your netflix special goes crazy this is a like the industry is a game to be second not first so you don't think that they're having their board meetings going like who's the next cheryl what if we can get another cheryl yeah

that's how it works that's the game it's like it's like it's like um do you want cheryl

i can't get her we can't okay right who is who is next or they'll say get me uh and then they'll

and then you could create a lane so that's and that is the goal and the goal is for me and that's

what i think sometimes maybe is lost with like what kevin's contribution has been that's right like kevin's contribution to entertainment and i think a lot of times maybe we're used to it because a lot of us grow up seeing black people in like these amazingly high positions in entertainment in terms of like the comedians that we look up to or the actors etc but like that also needs to be maintained yes so like kevin being acting and doing stand-up but also like doing all these advertisements like think about what that like this is again we kind of get used to show that we can be that being an investor a business owner a business owner but also like t-mobile being like i want the face of my company yeah to be that black guy do you think 40 years ago no do you know what i mean like do you think these companies 40 years ago where we're a black they're having a board meeting they were like can we make a black person the face of our right even now it's a jp morgue yeah even now but even now but that's that kind of gets lost a little not saying that we can't make things better we should always try to make things better but maybe there's a little focus where we look at like the success and i would hope that would also be celebrated in

this moment that's why i said you're not just a great comic you're a hell of a businessman because that's what they did something that makes something and continues to grow when we had a black comedy explosion happen did people think that one day there was not going to be a wb where there was

not going to be a upn this is downstream from and i don't know then maybe that's why i get caught up and i'm like i understand that like the reflexive nature like you just react in the minute in the moment to something but like when things explode yeah so many other people are given opportunities that's right make so much like and it's it's you know to me like i'm so grateful for like the people that you know really kind of put me on so charlamagne the god yes and rogan it's like

they both charlotte is where my book is being done of course yeah yeah and so for me but here's the catch though we're trying to get somewhere and then it's cheryl before the roast and then cheryl after the roast where now people are taking my call or now the agents want to okay go out this this this look at all those opportunities so it's like now that's that's what these things can create so we can prepared content but now what we need and i i wish this for i'm gonna say specifically female comics it's not just you getting on or it's not just you doing the movie okay now we're going to produce now we're going to make content we're going to make animated stuff not just for us we're going to make it for the marketplace right so we should be making sitcoms and movies and then we should say okay you only gonna give me 250 000 I'm going to do it.

I'm going to make the movie for $250,000.

It's a show. She has like a micro drama, I think, or something like that. Have you heard about Issa Rae? Yeah. And it's getting like hundreds of millions of it. And again, it's a different metric that they're trying to understand because it's like short form on your phone, whatever. But I'm saying like these.

It's the thing. Have you seen it? It's on your phone. And it's always abroad that she meets up with the millionaire that wants to hide his identity. and then somebody slaps her and he's on the phone going buy stock and put that bitch out of that and slap my girl but I thought you were the chauffeur and then it goes for a minute or two and then you buy the other minute or two and I'm addicted

to this stuff and again this is like big explosions create tons of opportunity for other people and I get the reaction I get and people have to feel whatever they want to feel this is America that you were here in this country you could feel whatever the fuck you want to feel and say whatever you want to say about that's a beautiful thing about it but there is also on top of that there's also potentially when these moments are really successful so many opportunities for other people that are aligned with these moments without even realizing it and that is the cool payoff that i think happens over the next few years and then we forget about the controversy and then we just end up seeing that's right the when we were growing up it was like you're watching the wayans brothers and you don't even realize how that might be downstream when something happened 10 years That's right. before.

And how can we help each other? Well, that's galvanized.

You know, this is the moment. This is the moment.

That's why I'm coming around to talk to people that I would never have been able to talk to and say, oh, let's make this type of thing or how do I structure this or who would I come to finance it? That's my biggest problem with people that want to live in their own little silo. So if you don't step out of that silo, you will never understand why Netflix is now interested in Sheryl Underwood.

Yeah. You could have fought the other comedians at the roast. Yeah. Or you can go on their shows, go on their podcasts, collaborate with them on projects.

And to get to know them better because these are my colleagues. You can have the most more opportunities for people that you really love that might not be afforded those opportunities. Absolutely. Now you're in a position to shine some light on people.

That's my job to open the door. That's why it's the leadership. Am I right? That's what I'm talking about. Sheryl Underwood, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for being here. You were awesome, man. This was fun. I'm glad you did. So let's figure out how we're going to make some money. I think we need to do that. Yeah, we need to make some money. We need to make some money.

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