Muse

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Hey everybody, Lady Luck here, and we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long, I'm going to be celebrating by playing on SpinQuest.com, which is an American-owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to SpinQuest.com, get yourself a $30 coin pack for just $10.

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I had a vision of what it might be like.

Hey, everybody. What's up, fuckers? Stephanie, I love your shirt you're wearing. Oh, thanks. Would you get it? It's a Gap body. Oh, I love that gap, like that material that's soft. Yeah. Yeah. It's really nice. You know, those sleeves where you get to put your thumb through it for no real good reason. Because it keeps your knuckles warm. Yeah. In case I'm going to fight somebody. Right. I don't want to have cold knuckles. Well, who is you? You never know. Sucker punch. I know. Yeah. Shit's been going down. What? So you got a. Yeah, I got a Patreon. Well, luckily, this is Patreon. Luckily. It's the place for it. Yeah, I was thinking like, oh, could I talk about it on the record? No, I don't think I could because I just – once you hear it, it's best to keep it off air. OK. All right. So you tell me if I'm taking crazy pills, if this is not normal. OK. All right. So Mola Muffin. Yeah. It's about her. Yeah. Kind of about her. OK. All right. So the other day I'm at home, you know, doing my thing. I don't know. And it was like 11 o'clock in the mid-morning. So this is the weekend? No. This was during the week. Last week. This was like a Thursday in the middle of the week. Okay. Okay. So now Mobile Muffin does not live close by. Right. She lives pretty – not walking distance, that's for sure. So – but we – But in the vicinity because they go to the same school. Yes. Yes. But pretty far. I mean, you'd be, you know, to take a dog for a walk, it's pretty far. Right. Right. Okay. So the doorbell rings constantly all the time. I learned to just go, fuck it, I ain't answering. In the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, the doorbell rings. It's always, it's like, by the way, the FedEx guy rings the doorbell and then he just leaves. He doesn't even wait around for me to answer it. He just drops the package and he says, well, then why are you ringing the doorbell? Right. Trying to annoy me? Trying to ding dong ditch me? Or they're going to be like, hi, I was wondering, we're doing in the neighborhood and there's been an outbreak of ants. A lot of your neighbors are using our company to get some. And you're like, no, they're not. Or they want to paint. No, they're not. They want to paint your address. Everybody else is doing it. You might want to repaint your address. I just did it six months ago. Anyway, so, all right, lo and behold. So I don't answer it. But then I look out and I see it's Mobile Muffin's dad. oh uh-huh and all right so i was like what but but but here's the and you're by yourself yes it's weekday and you're alone i'm semi by myself because peter is wandering around adam's assistant and then there's the guys outside they're working outside i'm never alone so you're not scared no

no no but i okay but here's the crazy part that you'll understand i didn't know i didn't recognize Is it being Mobile Muffin's dad? Totally out of context. Right. I thought, oh, wait, I know him. What's he doing? Is that like Adam's friend? I forgot. Like, who is that guy? Of course. Somebody I work with. You've met him like once or twice. Yeah, I know. I knew him. I mean, yes, you walked around with him. Yeah, but I – I have that all the time. First of all – It's like somebody hit you over the head with a frying pan. But also you and I have – not to like brag on ourselves, but we're around people a lot. And so you're at school. There's a lot of people. There's a lot of coming and going. Your brain has to work hard to keep everybody in their place, especially when they're at your front door. Totally. Walking their little teeny tiny fluffy dog. Okay. So I was like in their flip flops.

All right. Okay. So there's a trail by us. So I'm thinking, oh, okay. All right. But all right. He's going to walk his dog on the trail. Whatever. But I don't know what's going on with him. But why is he coming by? So I go, wait. So that's a friend of mine or somebody. I don't know. I don't know what came over me. But I was like, well, hold on. I need to talk to you. You came to my house. So I went outside in the driveway. And I was like, woohoo. Here I am. I'm home. Come over here. And he's like, hi. He's like all smiles. And he's like, how you doing? He's like, it's good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to, like, you know, barge in on you. And then I still didn't know. He didn't say, it's Mobile Muffin's dad. Right. No. He said, I was just, you know, I was in the neighborhood. But, you know, you talked to me about the CBD oil, right?

Okay.

So at back to school night. Yes, I remember. Remember I told you that. Yes. I'm not judging or anything. But I do know one thing, that the dad somehow has some CBD oil business. Okay. Right?

Okay. What is he selling it door-to-door now? Door-to-door. Seahawking his oils?

Oh, geez. Okay.

Okay.

So then he doesn't hit on me or anything, all right? Just so everybody knows. Okay. This is not going in that direction. Okay. All right. But here's the crazy. So he's like, so you have the – you like the CBD. We were talking, you know. He's like, how's your dog? Bob, he called him. Uh-uh. Smokes a little – Oh, my God. They're hitting that CBD THC oil a little too much. No, it ain't Bob. I can't remember who he was. Right, right, right. But as soon as he pulled out the CBD shit, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Now I got who you are. Your mobile muffin.

Don't people understand what small talk is? There's times where I basically bought a house from somebody without meaning to. I was making small talk. Oh, it's a good thing you didn't run into him. When they're like, see where you signed all these papers? And I'm like, wow, we're just like. Just talking. Yeah. Just chatting. Oh, is that my signature? Is this your signature? Well, yeah, but I wasn't buying a house.

I thought you were asking for my autograph. For your realtor friend. Well, I know. So he's like, yeah, you know, you were talking about the CBD and I wanted to come by and he had like a satchel, like a briefcase kind of like thing. And he was like – he pulled out like a sample size of like a – Oh, so he said, so, you know, Bob, he goes, so you were telling me that Bob had seizures. First of all, I wasn't telling him. His mobile muffin daughter told him. But anyway, and he said, this is good for the dogs. You know, so he gave me dog treats, like little sample dog treats. I was like, oh, great. Okay. And he goes, and also, I go. We already got, have you heard of Letty Molina? I know, right? Listen, get on the list. She's, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then he goes, you know, also putting the oil on their tongue before bedtime could help too. And he pulled out an oil. I go, actually, I used oil and it worked and blah, blah, blah. So he gave me – yeah, here you go. Take that. And then he goes, have you – do you take – and I go, you know, yeah, you know. And then I start making – you know, telling them like, oh, well, you know, Adam had me go on a wild goose chase. Do you have anything for sleep? Come to mention it. And he goes, yeah, you know. And he pulls out another like oil thing to put on the drop on your tongue and it helps you sleep. He's going talking about it and how great it is. And then after like – then we start talking about pot farms because then I was like, well, you know – oh, he was saying that his – first he called her her partner. Then he says, my girlfriend. Then he said, my partner girlfriend. They're in business together apparently and they're trying to open up a store. So basically what it is is this guy – I've summed it up in my head. he's trying to drum up business and he's probably sitting there tapping his pencil, talking to his partner or girlfriend, what are we going to do to drum up business? And she's like, why don't you just go door to door? Why don't you talk to people that said they wanted it? Oh yeah, okay, I'll do that. He got in his mobile muffin van and he drove over to my house. And I think that's like he's trying to, because he got his business card. Do you think he wanted an investor? No, he didn't say that because he was like, yeah, because I was telling him about my my nephew's marijuana factory that's literally what it's called and in the that they were grandfathered in and that they're growing the plants you know the whole middle eastern side of my family right and uh he so you know then now i'm getting into it now i'm talking to him about it and he's like yeah yeah yeah and then he's like you know then we started talking about pot and he was like yeah i used to partake i don't anymore i'm like yeah okay anyway and then i was like oh shoot i i gotta get then i was like he would have been all day i was like i gotta go i was like he didn't even go oh i'm sorry like i i interrupt what's going on everyone it's bluff

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He was like, okay, all right. So, and he's standing there and he's shaking his head like, mm-hmm, like I gotta add up everything that I just gave you? Yeah. Like, I'll give it 25% off of everything I just brought you. He shook me down for $223. Uh-uh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, my gosh. $200.

Weren't you just like, listen, bitch. I was minding my own fucking business. Do you know how many meals I've bought mobile muffin? Oh, my God. That's right. Do you know how much vacuum cleaner usage I've had to do vacuuming up muffin crumbs?

That's right. That's right. I forgot about that shit.

Do you know how much housekeeping services, how many bags of potato chips, how many meals, how many family dinners, how many? Yeah.

Oh, hell no. Hell no. Now, I don't know. What would you have done at that point?

Paid. Right?

What the hell?

What the hell?

I don't know what to do. Yeah. It's just me and Mobile Muffin's dad in my drive. I'm going to make this weird now and go, wait a second.

And go, no, Olven, you know what? Here, let me give them back to you.

Yeah. I'm standing there with a bag of treats. How much for one?

how much are all like yeah can you give me can you itemize these yes and so how much are the treats that's i probably would have been like wow what oh okay what would you have done i would

have paid probably i know i'm not i wish you know there are women and men that you know of that would be like oh no no no no no they wouldn't say hell no but they would be like no you know they would know how to get out the persian women i know yeah is that yeah would have been like oh what how much i did not know i was like so i'll stop thank you and i was holding the stuff and i was headed towards the door and he was like standing there like smiling that's so nice to

be acknowledged for all of the energy i've put into your daughter yeah and i was like he was

like i was walking to the door and he was just like yeah so i'm gonna give you like 25 off so So let's see. And then he's making additions in his head and subtracting in his head and I'm just – No, he's not. I know and I go – He's just knowing I want $200 for all that. Right and then I'm going like what do I – I don't have any cash on me. So do you take a check? What do you got? A credit card thing? Like now I got to write him a check and now I don't know. I got to go find my purse and find my checkbook and there's stairs like from my bottom. It's just like oh my god. So I go, all right, you can come. Come on. Why don't you just have him stand at the door then? I was trying to think like, how do I, what do I do? Do I, am I a sucker right now? Yes. The answer is yes. I'm a blow pop. So I just like, come on in. And he comes in and he's like, oh, you know, and he like follows me up the store, up the stairs. And he's still talking about Bob. He followed you up the stairs? Yes. He followed me up the stairs and his dog and his dog and Phil started playing and started bouncing around the house and running around. oh you know he's nice he's very free he's very sweet and friendly and i'm like the whole thing

is weird okay yes it gets weirder as you told the story but it's just weird that he came over at 11 a.m on a thursday you don't know first of all first rule of acquaintances no drop-bys i know even if he was your close friend you wouldn't drop by i know so 10 times worse that you don't He barely knows you. I know. Right? How do you just stop by someone's house? The only way you stop by someone's house, by the way, is if you're dropping off a gift and you're not knocking. Right. Like if he was like, you know what? Man, that Lynette Carolla has done so much for my daughter and I happen to know that her dog has seizures. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to leave a little care package and I'm going to leave a note and go, hey, thanks for everything.

that's directions email me or give me a call if you if you need that's right Stephanie that is the way to go yeah and then a little note by the way then this is also if I may be so bold

how you also do business that's exactly drop it off and you go here you go

my compliments, try this out. And then when you use it, you go, wow, this was really good. Mobile Muffin. Oh, now I have his number. And you go, you know what? I'd love to order some from you. That's exactly right. You're a thousand percent right. You don't go shake somebody down. I know. I know. Just thought of you. I thought you might want to pay me for some of my products that I sell that I'm trying to get my business off the ground. Fuck off. I know. And now that I think about it, I think now you might be right that maybe he was looking for an investment because he was saying that his partner, they talk about maybe doing a storefront, but it costs so much money to have employees and blah, blah, blah. I don't know. He said it twice. I don't know what – I was just so taken aback about everything. But if he was going to ask you to invest, that's not how you do it. You go, hey, listen, I'm working on this business. I would love to take you for lunch. Right. There's ways to go, but you don't fucking go. And that – you're right. He should have made a nice package with a card. It was, you know, thinking about Bob. Here you go. Have some of this and try some of this. This is our new business. Right. Let me know if it works and you'd love to – And thank you for everything with Mobile Muffin. Yeah. Thanks for all the fine dinners and hotels you've taken Mobile Muffin to. Yeah. Including your house. And if you love this product, you know, just FYI, we're – you know, this is the business that I do. So you know where to find me if you want to order more. Right. And I would have gone, wow, you know what? This would have been a whole different situation. I would have been talking about this on the regular show going, you know what? That's a really nice thing that he did. I think I am going to order from him. Sorry, Letty Molina, but I think I got another outlet now. Yeah. I got another dealer. Right. No. I know. It's insane. He follows me in the house and I'm in the kitchen and I'm going, okay. And he's talking and talk. I'm like, where's my checkbook? I get my checkbook and then I don't even know who I made it out to. I can't even remember. I don't even know the guy's last name. And so then I go, he said, oh, he goes, so let's see. And he's doing the math in his head and he gets his, he's, I am terrible at this. And he gets his phone out and he's like, oh, gosh. And he's like, and then I see, I'm looking at it. It's going 100, 200. And then he's like 25 times 20%. Let's see. And then I go, just call. I'll just do – just do one – whatever it was. What did I say? Two-twenty-three. Two-two. Two-twenty-three. I said just let's – I'll do two-twenty-three. I rounded up and like to the – I said this is – I'll give you a tip of 70 cents, OK? Like we don't have to stand here all day so you can figure it out. Get the fuck out. I mean he couldn't get out of there fast. When I – when he wanted the money, I was just like, you got to be fucking kidding me. Really? $200? And putting you on the spot, handing you stuff. Hey, you need something for sleep too? Right. Here you go. By the way, that's $500.

Oh, my God. It could have kept going. Like, you know, he's telling me about the sows that they have and I was talking about our show and, you know, I mean, it was like, he's like, oh, yeah, I got that. And, you know, I mean, who knows? Like unbelievable. When I said I got to go and I said, thank you so much for coming by and I started walking away and he's like smiling nodding his head like no not so fast and I was like huh and he's like so I'll give you like a family friend discount like 20 I'm going oh Jesus Christ I'm a sucker like I am at that point I'm like it was that one point where I was like do I go hell no or do I just suck it up and pay it's such an awkward situation because you're really left with this option of either you hand them back you're now holding this product that you said you wanted exactly even though you wanted it when it was like when it was like well i guess and they're not that big it's small right they're small like sample they're no like fabfit fun sizes they're small sample sizes right but you're either your option is either get make things really awkward by going on second thought here's all your product back right you though i know Thank you. I wasn't really planning to spend money today, but thank you so much for stopping by. Right, right. Or just being like, all right, here. Also, I thought, okay, when in the driveway situation, he goes 20% off, I'm thinking he's going to go. I thought, oh, okay. But I thought it would be like $80. Right. I didn't know it was going to be $200, over $200. I mean, if I – I was just dumbfounded. I was like, all right, here you go. Bye. And then I sent a text to Kalen immediately and I go, remind me if I forget, how could I ever forget, but to talk about Mobile Muffin's dad. Oh my god. That's a good story. Ugh. And I can see why you didn't want to do that on the regular show. Yeah, I can because he could, you know.

And I don't know. He asked me the name of the podcast. We talked about it because I talked about Letty Molina and her business. And, you know, we talked about how it's growing. And I don't know, you know.

I hope he doesn't sign up for Patreon. I know. I tell people all the time to listen. I don't tell people all the time, but people lately have been asking me, like, what? So you have a podcast? Yeah. Like someone will say in conversation, like, oh, my God, I listened to your podcast. And then whoever else is there will be like, oh, you have a podcast? Oh, what's it called? I know. Don't. And sometimes they'll be like, give me your – will you put it on my phone? I know. Yeah, they do that. Do I even have – how do I listen to a podcast? How do I listen to a podcast? Yeah.

That's a total tutorial. I know. Or you get that – like Patrick did to me the other day. You get that, hey, you know what, Ed? I got a bone to pick you through. I was listening to the podcast. Oh, yeah. Those are the words you don't want to hear. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah. I mean the worst thing that's ever happened, honestly, is when John was really upset with me. he was thinking really upset and i had no idea why and then it's like when i finally got it when i was like just something's going on with you what's wrong why are you mad at me did i do

something he was like i listened to the podcast oh no no you know that's the feeling of if you write an email talking shit about somebody and you send it to that person that's that feeling Like, oh, the barn, the horse has left the barn and anyone won't know walking it back.

Yeah. But you know what? In this particular case, if worse came to worse and Mobile Muffin's dad heard it, well, lesson learned. We just gave you some good business advice. Exactly. Thank me later. You could listen to Startup or you could listen to us, our Patreon episode. That's right. All right. All right. Thank you. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye. Don't fuck it up. Jesus. Christ. You believe that? You sell oil now. Don't fuck it up.

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We'll be right back.

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more details. In the next Rare Well Done, the Thrive team helps two people with CIDP tackle the tricky issue of friendship. They say the quiet part out loud. In the event my CIDP worsens,

my friends might decide it's too much. Get nudged outside their comfort zone. I don't know if I want

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