Muse

Hey folks, it's Joe. Hope everyone's doing well. Hope you're enjoying season five. A new episode coming in about a week. In the meantime, I wanted to bring you a new cool show that's out there. I think you should check it out. It's called Something's Amiss at Juniper's House, a full cast supernatural queer romance podcast. Here's the logline. Finley's met someone and she is everything. Their dream girl, Juniper Sumac, might be too good to be true. Is young love just that magical, or is something sinister brewing? Between the bodies in the basement and some pretty intense earthquakes, it's becoming clearer and clearer that things aren't as they seem. This was created by Kayla Temchev, who you may recognize from other bloody FM podcasts like SCP Archives, Mayfair Watchers Society. It's sounding really good. I checked it out, and it's horror, so there's these scary sort of foreboding elements to it. But there's this other layer to it that's like kind of adorable and kind of cute. And the juxtaposition of those two things is really interesting. Definitely check it out. I'm going to play the first episode right now. And if you like what you hear, you can find and listen to Some Things Amiss at Juniper's House, anywhere you listen to podcasts. And you can learn more at amisspod.com. That's A-M-I-S-S-P-O-D.com. Okay, here we go. Here's the first episode.

Thank you for tuning in to the premiere episode of Something's Amiss at Juniper's House. This project has been a labor of love and we can't wait for you to hear it. Warning, the show you're about to listen to contains strong language, depictions of gore, and very, very queer themes. Something's Amiss at Juniper's House is rated R and is not suitable for all audiences. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Enjoy the show.

Thank you. the day I spoke to Juniper.

My name is Finley.

I'm 22 years old, and today I had that inexplicable feeling that everything was about to change. It's a feeling in your bones An unrelenting suspicion that something today would be different Full of life, in a way it hasn't been for a really, really long time And I was right Because today, miraculously, I met the love of my life Her name is Juniper Sumac And she is everything I was studying at the old park by my house Like I do, like I always do And then She spoke to me

hey do you mind if I sit here for a second I just need to catch my breath yes no

no problem sweet it's too hot out here for this it was nothing and it was everything though she complained she didn't seem tired she was actually glowing despite being at the end of what was a seemingly long evening jog

Although she didn't appear to need anything, I wanted to do anything I could to help her. Maybe because I like to think of myself as a nice person. Maybe just to selfishly try to get her to remember me. Do you need water? I brought an extra bottle. I didn't, but she didn't need to know that.

Oh, thank you. God, you're a lifesaver. Oh, I should know better by now. Looks like today is my lucky day, though. I owe you one, for sure.

I'm... I'm Finley. I blurted out with no prompting, like a fucking idiot.

What's your name? I'm Juniper. Juniper Sumac.

Beautiful. I said, like a normal person would respond to a pretty girl introducing herself. I mean, that's a beautiful name. I don't hear it a lot. It must be a rare one.

So is Finley. Don't meet a lot of those. Just me. One of a kind. It seems like it. I'm typically pretty in the zone when I'm passing through. Is this park a place you hang out a lot? Are you... Did you just ask me if I come here often? Jeez, Finn. Don't call me out on it like that. I'm trying to make moves here.

Sorry, sorry.

I'll let you make your moves. please let me try again okay i can be subtle so what are you reading anything good

what what was that that voice why didn't you say it like that like what oh my god yeah like

I'm all deep and stuff. Because maybe I'm all deep and stuff. Okay. All right, fine. One last try. I mean, you can have as many tries as you want. Well, don't tell me that. Then I'll botch the next couple on purpose. Well, don't do that. okay okay it's the least i can do since you've given me water and all for real this time what are you reading anything interesting just my microbiology textbook so no after all that you're funny and smart apparently because you call me on my shit and read textbooks on purpose Are you studying to be a doctor or something?

Yes. Well, right now I'm pre-med, but I don't really know what I'm going to do yet. But a doctor seems like the obvious choice.

Yeah, I mean, life's long. You'll figure it out. Worst case, there's nothing wrong with having more doctors. It wasn't fair.

The way she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she smiled. Nor was it fair the way her eyes lit up when she called me funny. I can't help but stay around her, but being this close was like looking directly into the sun.

Well, now it's time for the home stretch, so thanks again for the water. It was really nice meeting you. I hope we can be friends. Mm-hmm.

I'll be here tomorrow if you want to also be here. I might go on a walk or something if you're good with walks or you like them or, you know, anything to put off reading this old thing.

I'm great with walks. Very obedient. I don't stray too far ahead or anything. I'll, uh, I'll see what I can do. Don't forget about me! Okay, Finn? I won't.

She knows my name. Kind of. Mom, I'm home!

I talked to her today. The pretty girl who runs through the park. I think we're meeting up tomorrow.

Well, I... I told her I'd be there. She said something cute and vague.

Whatever. I'm excited. Here you go.

Another one? Ouch! God damn it! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot It's too quiet.

Low growing in frequency, experts say there is no reason to be concerned. Moving on to our top story today. More than ten local men have gone missing in the lab.

Today was a good day. Today was a really, really good day. I waited at the park. Early. Maybe too early. My last class let out about 15 minutes earlier than it usually does, which is nice and all, except I'm paying for the full class, and now there was nothing to distract me from the fact I was about to meet with Juniper again. I sprinted out of the door, which is pretty atypical for me, as I'm not one to make Friday night plans. But apparently, neither is Juniper. But why wouldn't she be? Girls as pretty as she is are always out at bars or parties or whatever it is the socially active people do. For the first time, I was struck with the painful realization that she might have forgotten. Or worse, had no interest in meeting with me at all. Why would she? She had no obligation to meet with me just because I gave her a water bottle, made a fool of myself, and asked nicely. Maybe that's just a day in Juniper's life. Maybe for me it was everything, and for her it was Thursday. A few minutes with a kind stranger. Pleasant, but soon to be forgotten. After all, nothing about me is exceedingly memorable. It's too early. It's still too early. It's still too early. I started counting flower petals. She remembers my existence. She remembers my existence not. I looked for shapes in clouds, misshapen fluffs only partially distracting from my nerves. Right as I resolved to actually open up my microbiology textbook, I caught sight of her. She jogged up the path through the forest effortlessly, like how birds fly or cats leap. All at once, I'm struck again by her beauty. What must it be like to be so enchanting?

Hey, Finn! Hey! Guess I'm Finn now. Juniper, right? And my memory isn't the best. Played it cool.

You are spot on. Your memory can't be that bad. Or maybe I'm just unforgettable. And she smiled at me like that. I couldn't help but agree.

You need some combination of the two? Yeah. How about that walk?

Unless, ooh, I spot a textbook. Is microbiology interesting all of a sudden?

Oof, unfortunately, it is still super, super boring.

Gosh, you hate to hear it. Works out in my favor, though, doesn't it? A walk it is. I'll try not to bore you too much. I have a suspicion that you couldn't possibly. I look forward to proving you right.

you know i'm not much of a runner i think it's that my feet are flat not that that's bad like in general i just i just think mine are like too flat or maybe it was the other way around too arched i don't know a doctor told me when i was little but i haven't really checked oh my god stop talking about your feet walking is more my speed got it note to self finn likes to take things slow my face must have turned bright red cool did she actually say that did she realize what she was saying or is she just so deeply cool that she just talks that way so besides a nice stroll what else does fin like you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you uh fin likes i i i like i um i like school i go to the the junior college nearby um i like flowers sorry it's so insanely cliche uh i like movies i guess everyone likes movies i i like writing

like i journal a lot uh sorry i'm so boring hey um what if you try that again but without apologizing for everything don't you like these things you yeah yes i i mean i i do i do i do okay then be loud about it i wouldn't ask you what you liked if i didn't want to know sorry sorry i'm just nervous all of a sudden okay fine i'll go first um i like going on runs I like being outside. I like being really good at things. I like myself, actually, which is cool because not everyone can say that. I like how humble I am, obviously. I like not taking things too seriously what else i like good coffee like really really good coffee thai food good or bad and um people that make me laugh now you go

i like school even though i know people are supposed to hate school i like writing i like flowers like literally any purple or blue flower um i like when movies are actually really scary like traumatize me or i don't want it scary um i like my hair right after i get it cut short the chair in my room i pile all my stuff in

and uh coffee good or bad okay seems like the overlap is coffee seems like

I think I'll hold on to that tidbit of wisdom. Anything you don't like? Hates, I guess? Being bored. You? Being boring.

You go to North Central?

Yeah, it's not bad. the application was free and they offered me some scholarships plus i can stay at my house and i don't need to live on campus it kind of all just made sense what about you what school are you at oh i'm not oh oh i'm sorry sorry that i'm an idiot what no don't be sorry. Traditional education just isn't for me. My grandfather kind of homeschooled me. I still know like my times tables and stuff, but I'm not really cut out to go get a degree in

anything. What do you mean? You could definitely get a degree. Do you not want to? Let's not talk about it it's not interesting anyway what about your parents what do they do oh um my mom is staying at home right now she's been sick for a while and not really able to leave the house oh oh she's she's okay it's just it's just a thing we're dealing with um my dad isn't really in the picture. My mom used to bartend. He was just some office guy. Insurance, I think.

Shit, I'm sorry. It's okay. Insurance isn't that lame. You know what I mean. I'm sorry he isn't around. Don't be. Really.

He's been gone for almost a year now, and it's honestly kind of better this way. But he wasn't the coolest guy when he was here If he wanted to stick around, he would've He had his reason Not that he left a note, you know, like an adult would do

Yeah, I mean, sounds like his reason was that he sucks

Nah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay Okay, okay, no more sad parent stuff Let's talk about literally anything else. What kind of music do you like?

What music don't I like?

Ooh, I have a new hate. Country music.

Ooh, come on, Finn. Have an original hate.

I'm sorry, I hate what I hate.

Hate something, like, weird and specific. Or at least something that people actually like.

But, you know, what if I don't?

You do.

I really... She gave me this look. One that said she was waiting for me to surprise her, say something interesting. She wanted me to not be boring. The sound that forks make when they scrape on ceramic plates. She only raised an eyebrow.

Really, Finny?

Sunsets. You know, people love them, but I don't get it. It just doesn't do anything for me. I don't feel anything when I look at one. Even though I know I'm supposed to. Good answer. We passed hours like this. It was easy to talk to her. Easier than I thought it would be. People say never meet your idols. but I guess that doesn't apply to the pretty girls that jog past you while you study. She was every bit as enchanting up close as she was from afar. More than once, I missed something she was saying because I got distracted staring at the way her teeth grazed her bottom lip or the two freckles close together on her nose. If she noticed, she was too polite to call me out on it. It wasn't until my stomach crumbled in a particularly unflattering way that she paused our conversation.

Do you need to go eat something?

No, I'm good.

The stomach does not lie.

The stomach... fibs a little.

Go shut up your stomach. Are you doing anything tomorrow? I'll be around.

I'm free. I'm free like all day.

Okay, how about morning coffee? My treat.

Sounds perfect.

Here, give me your phone number. That way I can text when I'm up. I tend to be a pretty late riser.

I nodded and grabbed her phone, typing in my number with shaky hands. I debated between typing in my name as Finley or Finn for a few seconds before just leaving the name blank. I passed Juniper her phone, and she placed it on the bench while she put her contact information in mine. Does she put little hearts by her name in everyone's phone?

Text me later. Or call. Whatever. I'll answer. Later.

I don't know why I did it, but I said... Be careful out there! I know the tremors have been getting worse, especially around here, you know. You know what I mean?

wouldn't want you to hurt yourself or anything she faltered for a second turning around the look she gave me wasn't a look of malice but it wasn't one of appreciation either it was more like a fleeting moment of surprise masked immediately by a thin veil of humor as quickly as her expression dropped she plastered on a smile i'm a big girl i'll be fine see you tomorrow and just like that She glided away. As soon as she was out of sight... Oh my god! Oh my god, I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! And her phone was still on the bench.

Shit, fuck!

Obviously, like anyone would, I picked up her phone and made a mad dash after her. However, by that point, it was starting to get dark. And I'd never realized just how much faster Juniper was than me. fortunately even though she moved like she was gliding she left footprints i followed them eyes trained on the ground god i hate this it didn't take me long to get where i was going behind the park a little ways into the forest is our town's oldest graveyard it's the kind that's so old it's technically a monument no one alive knows anyone who's been buried there, but we all know it exists. Kids used to tell scary stories, not to go into the graveyard at night or the beast would eat you. Don't walk the rows of tombstones alone or you'll get dragged down with the corpses. It was nothing creative, really typical kid stuff, things I had always written off as urban legends. But now, briskly walking toward the graveyard, at night by myself, those scary stories poked and prodded at my mind. But the steps led that way, which meant Juniper went this way, so towards the graveyard I go. I'd never been there before, and why would I have? I'd been fortunate enough that no one I'd ever known had died, but even if one of them did, it would have been more reasonable to bury them in the newer cemetery behind the lone church our small town possesses. I guess none of the kids who spread their tall tales did either, because, well, they never mentioned the looming mansion that rests beside it. The graveyard itself was unremarkable, but standing there, easily three stories tall, this house looked like a Victorian mansion. Or at least, what I suspect a Victorian mansion would look like. I'm, I'm not an architect. Now, I didn't mean to spy. I know, starting off a relationship, which is what I'm hoping to do, by snooping on the other person's family isn't the best way to build trust, but when you're in the moment and life happens, you don't think, is this a bad idea? You just act. You just move. When someone came out of the house, I panicked. I could have easily just waved, dropped off Juniper's phone like it was no big deal and gone about my night, but I didn't. Before I could think, my body reacted and I threw myself backward into the bushes.

You know, the rational thing. to do.

Is anyone going to help me with this? Anyone? Am I the only competent person in this whole house?

She didn't see me, but I still saw her. A little girl, maybe twelve, maybe younger, lugging a huge black bag across the front lawn. She was blonde, small, built, kind of like a doll. Really? Despite her size, she still pulled the bag, and from my perspective, it looked heavy. Now, I've seen enough movies to know about suspiciously large bags, and if what I've seen is anything like real life, I'd call this one body-sized.

uh Etta, are you alright? I'm fine! I could just use some help moving this thing I-I can help you uh-huh

ha ha ha ha

okay

Sage, very funny, but humor isn't your thing. Go inside and get me someone useful, will you? I'm not joking. I can help you. You can't. Seriously, grab June or the twins. Gray, if they can be bothered. Fuck! Even Kai would work if he's not already asleep. Are... Are you sure you don't want my help? Gods! Yes, Sage! I'm sure!

Alright then. I'll see who I can find.

Fucking useless.

At this point...

This kid, this girl, threw the bag down some sort of basement cellar door. I couldn't see it after that, but I could see her. And she was grinning.

My bad. I forgot all about ladies first.

As she disappeared into the cellar, the night grew quiet, but my mind started reeling. If I went up and dropped off Juniper's phone now, they would know I saw whatever it was I just witnessed. Which could be nothing, or could be very, very much something. So again, I did the rational thing. I dropped Juniper's phone and ran I don't know how every family works I barely even know how my family works but that girl the way she barked orders whatever it was she was moving, it was all wrong it wasn't normal it wasn't it wasn't something I was supposed to see just like yesterday when I woke up with that unshakable feeling that something was destined to happen that would change things for me I was hit with a painful awareness

somewhere in my mind written by Kayla Temschiff directed and designed by Dustin Parsons

I could tell that

if you'd like to support the show please leave us a review on your listening platform of choice or follow us on our social media accounts linked in the episode description if you'd like to show your support directly we're also launching a Patreon with ad-free episodes, bi-weekly aftershows, and an exclusive behind-the-scenes blooper reel. Something's amiss at Juniper's house stars. Brooke Jeanette as Juniper. Kayla Temschiff as Finley. Marissa Duran as Sage. Hannah Schooner as Etta. Mia-Marie Ajuaje and Brian Vegan provide additional voices in this episode. Art is by Heather Vaughn Music by Maddie Royberger A Bloody FM original Thank you for listening

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.