Muse

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Thank you. Oh, my God.

Hello? Hello? Oh. I didn't want to cut things. Sure, Frank, but I was advised to return early.

You were advised? Yes. Trinket, by any chance, were you advised to come back early by a deck of tarot cards?

There's a saying where I come from. May you be blessed by the world breaking you. May you survive the blessing and break the world.

Wait, is that just a big bag of oats? Yes. You're pouring out a bag of oats right now. Yes. Oh, God. The explanation for this is going to be really something, isn't it?

Laugh all you want? This is what I do. We might need this very soon, though.

Well, I understand, but without all the proper testing infrastructure, we're going to need to take our time to do this responsibly.

Yeah, but big day. Drink it. Drink it, drink it, drink it, drink it, drink it. No, no, no, no, no. Where am I? Where am I?

Where am I? Where am I? Where am I? Where am I?

Hello? Hello? Hello, is someone there? Hello? Hello? Where am I?

Where? What is this place? Do you see a place? Yes. What's your name? Trinket. I like that name. I'm Labuza. Hello, Labuza. Where am I? Can you tell me what you're seeing? Uh, I'm on the shore of an ocean. Can you not see it? I don't really see things. Can you tell me more? Uh, an ocean. It's dark, like the sun is either about to come up or has just gone down. Hmm, that sounds nice. Can you tell me what's happening? Where are you from, Trinket? Well, Oregon. What is that? I mean... Earth. You're an Earthling? Yes. It's rare for you to be where you are. And where's that? I'm not sure how to explain it. Give it a shot. Okay. On Earth, you like to race cars. I guess? When you're in the car, you look forward at what's right in front of you as you travel along the road. Right. But now imagine you're in the middle of the track. You can watch from the outside, seeing the cars trying to navigate the turns. Okay. I think I get it. You're outside of time and space, right now. Holy shit. Labuza, am I on the astral plane right now? I'm not sure what Earthlings call it. People where I'm from would call it, um... I'm sorry. It's been a while since I've spoken my native language. The, uh, the Ushp'nat. So, so you're not, you're not like a spirit guiding me or something? No. I'm another mind like you. And we're meeting here on the astral plane. That's not a bad way of looking at it. as i walked along the beach i could see moments from my life yes you're on the outside looking

in right now so you can walk through your past like it's a museum that's wild it is and if i keep walking along the beach do i see my future No, I don't think so. Every mind sees this place differently. To you, it's the shore of an ocean. The shore is your life from the past to the present. But if you look out onto that dark ocean, that's the future. That looks pretty foreboding. That's on purpose. it's very dangerous to travel into the future why the future has infinite paths behind you is your single path you can get lost very easily this is a pretty big deal for me labuza really oh yeah i mean people like me work our whole lives for a glimpse of a place like this this is kind of the olympics for me olympics oh never mind are you some sort of shaman on earth yeah that's that's one way of looking at it can you tell me more about what you see Before I discovered how to reach this place, I used to study people like you. Well, I can't see where the sun is, but there's this other light too. Far off that way, like a lighthouse. Tell me what a lighthouse is. It's like a tower on the shore. It shines a light so that ships won't run aground, but it... I think it's moving. It may be another mind like yours. It-

It feels familiar, though, but I should go there. I should see what it is, right? Can I give you some advice? Sure. I wouldn't spend too much time here at first. It's easy to get lost. Okay. Speaking of which, I should go. Wait, I have so many questions. I know. Where are you now? Oh, right now? I'm sitting on the floor of my shop. And I'm on a starship, very far away from you, in a very dangerous place. I have a lot of work to do when I come here. What are you doing? I have to go into the ocean. You just told me that was dangerous. It is. But over time, I've learned how to navigate it. are you going to be all right i will but don't worry about me you should probably head back any other advice before you go i don't know like i said it's strange for an earthling to be here for now i just work on remembering things remembering things yes when you get back this will feel like a dream. You'll have a hard time recalling anything. Try and hold on to as much as you can. Write things down as soon as you wake up. Okay. Okay, I will. It's nice to meet you, Trinket. You too, Labuza. Be careful. I will be. Maybe we'll meet again. I hope so.

Whoa! Hello?

I hate this goddamn phone so much.

Hi, Eldon.

Calling to check in. You'll need to keep an eye on things in town.

I know.

Let me go over the plan one more time.

Okay. One second, though. I have to write down this crazy dream I just had.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Thank you. All right, boys, I think today is the day. The day for what, boss?

Please enlighten us.

Are our unfortunate guests here yet? They just arrived. Wonderful. Salutations. Our apologies for any tardiness. Well, well, well. Freezer pop and jerky chew. Welcome back. I trust you've gotten all the ice out of your veins. It was touch and go for a minute there, I don't mind saying. We were hard-pressed to get warm, standing in the dry plume. Whatever. Against my protestations, our employer has allowed you two to go on a little redemption tour. My vote was to send you back to wherever the hell it was you came from, but the boss's word is the boss's word. We appreciate the opportunity to put a little shine back on our names. Ain't no way we'll be caught unawares again. Only time will tell.

Morning, boss.

Giga.

Oh, shit. Rocket Pop and Freezer Poo. Surprised you guys are showing your faces on Raxias again.

They've been given the rare second chance by our employer.

Congratulations, boys. I'm sure you'll fuck it up somehow.

That's the spirit.

Where do you need me?

I need you on tactical today. keep an eye on all the feeds got it if you don't mind us asking seeing us how we're on the low rung on on various poles to what task are we tilting to

I'm glad you asked. It's a very important day today, people. Please bring your A-game. Today, someone's going to try to kill me.

Almost there.

Three more. Now.

Nice.

Now I reduce the flame and we temper the blade.

This shit's phenomenal, Tavrok. I haven't gotten back to basics like this in a long time.

I'm beginning to understand the Earthling concept of hell. Good morning. Is there some rule that says sword making can't happen in the afternoon?

You must work when your arm is the strongest.

Tavrok didn't know what he was sitting on. That meteor shower that almost killed you guys brought in stuff from all over the system. He's got a pile of ore back there with much better carbon levels than anything on Earth.

The sky has given me a great gift.

How exciting. Fellas, I don't care. What's for breakfast?

I slew a deer with the sunrise.

Look at that! I love this guy! He slew a deer with the sunrise! Well, at least the menu's better out here.

It hangs on the spit by the woodpile.

Thank you. Sorry to disturb your hammering.

Good morning.

Oh, hi, baby.

How are you holding up out there?

Well, you know, every morning I wake up to the boys banging on their fucking swords. Seriously, how many swords does one guy need?

How many knives do you have again?

Touche.

I miss you.

I miss you too. This is stupid.

It is stupid, but I get it. We've discussed this about 5,000 times. This is all for the best. We can discuss at 5001 if you want to. With either you or Leif being Minsky's target, it's important that you be removed from the general populace for the time being. It keeps any prying eyes from seeing you, and it keeps the townspeople from catching a stray plasma blast.

I get it, okay? Why do I have to be trapped out here with Leif?

Because I don't want you to be by yourself.

Fine. So When are we making a move on this fucker? Tomorrow Tomorrow? Yes Does anyone want to let me in on the plan? What the fuck?

I'm going to hang up and let you two talk I love you, Virg

I love you too Elden

You can't be a part of the plan

what it's for the best says who says me and who the fuck are you to decide i'm the one who can

run 1 000 simulations per second i've gamed out every possible iteration of this plan and and you being part of the rescue operation puts you at too great a risk it's putting everybody at risk life is already remaining here to run tactical operations with me you should do the same

Everybody's putting themselves in danger, and you want me to just sit here?

Yes.

No.

Burge.

How the fuck did you come to this conclusion?

Honestly, it wasn't my idea.

What? Oh. Deidre.

She's very concerned for your safety.

Well, I'm concerned for her fucking safety.

In what world has you raising your voice done anything to change what I say?

I can't believe this.

God! She asked me about the possibility of completing this mission without you. I ran thousands of simulations, and I have to say, the prospects look good.

How is that possible?

Well, it's a very complicated calculation. I wouldn't want to bore you.

I'm going to toss you into this fire and never look back.

You're one of the most dangerous beings in the triad, Virge. As it turns out, the more dangerous people you add to a scenario, the more dangerous that scenario becomes for all parties. So, when we have a scenario that only involves a small group of Earthlings, the simulations return some very promising data.

And you thought this talk of math and simulations was gonna make me feel better?

Then how about this? If, heaven forfend, something goes wrong, you will be available to pull everyone's rear end from the fire. Don't think of yourself as being excluded. Just think of yourself as a fire extinguisher in a little glass case.

A little glass case. This doesn't make any sense to me.

Which is why you have me. To make sense of things.

Wait. So, let me get this straight. She hung up so that you could break the bad news?

Yes. And she and June are pulling up to the cabin right now to apologize.

Hello! We are time to start the...

You better be right about this, Eldon.

Let's not forget that it was your idea to put us in this situation, Verge. I'm working very hard to avoid total disaster.

And I still don't like it.

Well, welcome to the wonderful world of doing the right thing. It's often painful.

I have brought beers and whiskey. I have also brought whatever these fish are that Frank pulled out of Burnt Lake. Oh, also, Virg, look, I found you a girlfriend. Hey, thank you, June. Leaf, how are you liking it out here? It's pretty great. We're making a sword. A sword, Tafra. You making a sword.

What would you have me do?

I don't know. Do you ever just make some knives and forks or something?

I did so yesterday.

Oh. Well, look at me being an asshole. You are perfect. That's what I like to hear. Look, I have fish.

We should salt them.

Okay. Leaf, we're going to go inside and salt the fish, if you know what I mean. Okay.

Um, are we in a fight? How do you expect me to feel about this? Well, I think you should feel like I'm doing what's best for everyone. Are you? You can't step in front of every bullet, Verge. We're all doing this together. Let's go for a walk Come on, I hardly ever get out here Okay Hi, Leif, where can I go for a walk? Okay

I will just stand out here by myself Hey Lucian Looks like it's just you and me What are we doing today?

Life

Did you find it?

Yes What the hell were you doing with a shadow server on Karma Karma Chameleon?

Casinos need massive data storage and they're always hiding things from the authorities It's a great place to hide stuff Luckily Dark Lay felt the same way Pretty hilarious. This guy runs the whole triad, but he's still got bug-out bags all over the place.

There's a whole host of horrors on this server. Am I correct in thinking that DJKDJK is the protocol you use to disrupt the old ice road?

Yeah, that's the one.

Is this everything? Your entire bag of tricks?

There's one missing. The Tedslayer is still in a lockbox at Red's Rectangle. You can't access it remotely. Seems an odd place for it. There's no good place for it. It used to be on a network server, but that made me nervous. You could have just destroyed it. Yeah, I know. Something told me to hang on to it.

Have you ever made anything that doesn't destroy things?

Can you call me a piece of shit some other time, please? Anytime you like. You've got it all downloaded to your server? I do. Okay. Then we're ready. Tomorrow, then.

Okay. All right, everyone. Here's how this is going to work. We are currently one floor above the Mermaid of the Dark Seas, what has to be the worst casino on Rax Prime. It is a total disaster down on the casino floor, but luckily for us, the building could not be more poorly designed.

Why is that good for us? Because there's no way to get to us without going through the casino.

Very good, Frances Goldstar. If you want to get to me, you'll have to go through the casino. And Giga is now hacked into their security feeds, aren't you, Giga?

Yeah, they even have video feeds in the bathrooms, which is real gross, boss.

It would be against the law if there were things like laws around here. But all of this is good for us. The more video feeds, the better.

The more video feeds, the better. Thank you, Sluggo. So your intention is to get wind of Verge before they've made it to you. In the hopes that will spring this trap of yours more readily? That is correct.

I made a big show with one of Verge's associates based on the assumption that Verge would then come after me.

I am the bait in the trap. Seems as though that's awful dangerous for yourself there, boss. Ain't we better serve getting Verge where they live? If we know where they're at, why not scoop them up where they reside? And how well did that go for you two?

I seem to recall that ended up with the two of you on the space junk highway.

I'm not making no excuses for our various failures, but our endeavors would have been a success were it not for all the failures. Indeed. Seems to me if we omit the failures, we come up with a spot-free record. What the fuck are you talking about?

You guys sure you're fully thawed?

I'm sensing a little ice on the brain.

Never go hunting for a serpent in the serpent's den, boys. Always find a way to flush it out. I'm the only one that Verge is going to make a special trip for. They do despise me to an unhealthy degree. It's hard to get a vapian to make an unsafe move. The bait for this trap needs to be exceptional. And I am nothing if not exceptional.

So we just sit here and wait?

The first sign of Verge, and it will be up to all of you to keep me from getting dead.

Don't fuck it up, everyone. Seeing as how vapians are so good at avoiding our scene. Ain't they going to just figure a way past your watchful eyes? They absolutely are.

I predict Verge will attempt a distraction. They'll orchestrate some sort of incident in the casino meant to point our eyes in a particular direction, and then slip by unnoticed as we're looking the other way. So how do we defend against that? By having an ace up our sleeve. Everybody gather around Giga in the video feeds. As you can see here, we have eyes on every inch of the casino. Look at that mass of people. Now, Giga, please press that little red button.

Okay. Whoa, what's all this, boss?

That, my friends, is experimental surveillance technology that we managed to get our hands on. It's called a DNA dog. The video feed is now available to highlight the specific race of everyone it sets its eyes on. Now all we have to do is set an alarm for vapian DNA and wait. What if another vapian shows up?

There are hardly any vapians left. The chances of two showing up in the same place is almost zero.

Verge will enter the casino, thinking they're invisible. But they will stand out like a house fire. Simple as cake. Easy as pie.

Have you guys ever made up high? It's actually really hard.

Giga, keep an eye on the monitors. Let us know if you see anything odd. Everyone else, smoke meant we got him.

Anyone want to do a puzzle?

Pardon us, boss. What is it, boys? Seeing as how we're on a bit of a break. We were wanting to inquire as to the particular curiosities of our current sojourns. This here will be our second go-round on this here planet trying to reel in this fish. We found ourselves out in the drink for it. And seeing as how our big boss man has got himself a whole mess of land to keep a handle on, we were wondering as to why this particular fish in this particular river awful lot of work put into this here operation. And to what end we are prone to wonder. Jesus, that took forever.

Can you two please come up with a faster way to ask a question? We realize... Please, God, don't answer that. I don't have all night. Listen, everyone. I realize that it may seem like a lot of work to bring in one person. But our benevolent employer, he moves in mysterious ways. We all remember what the days were like with Loaf Tracks. Lucrative, certainly. But they were very chaotic. And with this new regime we find ourselves in, we're able to do so much more now that we have a leader with an actual attention span. But what comes along with that? Well, it's the odd obsession from time to time. Ours is not to ask why. Ours is to not fuck up and find ourselves floating in deep space. Understand?

Hey, boss?

Yes?

Do you want to know about anything weird or just the Vapian-related stuff?

What have you got?

Earthlings.

Earthlings?

Yeah, censors are telling me the makeup of the casino floor is 0.1% Earthling.

Well, what the fuck is that about? I thought there was a whole town of Earthlings up in the mountains.

Well, yeah, but they're not real Earthlings. They're all wearing Earth suits up there, aren't they?

That was certainly how we discerned it. Real close to the real thing in our eyes, but ain't no way they could be the real thing.

Yeah, I mean, how could an entire town of actual earthlings get all the way out here, boss?

My entire life, I've only met one earthling. An entire town of them would be impossible.

What about that one you met with, Steve?

He kept his earth suit activated the whole time.

What? He stays in character the whole time?

I assumed. We'd make that assumption as well. Seeing as how the alternative would be next to nuts. Bring them up on the monitors?

I'm already scanning for Vabians. I'd have to stop to look for Earthlings.

Right. Right. Probably nothing. Yiga, keep your eyes on the monitors. Let us know if you see anyone from Earthland on the casino floor.

Oh, I already do.

You do? Where?

There's one of them right there. She's sitting at the barber-duckle table.

Well, here's the table of suckers. All right.

Before I take everyone's money, I guess I gotta know how to play this game. I think her name is June. Who's got a cigarette?

Boys, do you remember this woman? If we're being as honest as possible, our memories of our time on the mountain are about as fuzzy as cottonwood in springtime. Seems to show our time being frozen has made our brain pans a little achy.

Wow, so you're even less helpful now. I didn't think it was possible. Let's stay focused, everyone. The Earthling thing is weird, but we don't have time for that right now. I've got another one. Where? Right there. Feed three. Is that... What is that? Is it a snack cart?

Doritos? Fritos? Cheetos? Um, all of your Earth snacks right here. Um, would anyone like an ice-cold Yoo-Hoo?

I scold Yoo-Hoo would hit the spot right about now. Yoo-Hoo and a Flamin' Hot Cheeto is what the doctor ordered.

Also by the bar.

Excuse me, bartender. Could I get three gin and tonics and 20 scratchers? Look at this lady. Ma'am, are you doomsday prepping with gin and tonics? Hey, look at this. She's got a gin and tonic for each personality, am I right? High five! High five, my man! No? Nothing? You gonna leave me hanging? Alright, alright. Hey, bruh, put the game on! What is happening?

It looks as though Verge has uncharacteristically made themselves some friends. Everybody, keep your eyes on the monitors. This is Verge making their move. Sluggo, head down to the casino floor and keep an eye on things. You got it, boss. What exactly are they planning on doing? Remember, the plan is chaos. All of them are going to try and create a distraction of some sort. Head back down to the bubber-duckle table. What's the first one doing?

Now it's called Pants Darts. You play darts, but it's Fetch of Pants. Where's the dartboard around here?

As long as everyone stays cool at the table, it should be fine.

Dealer, you have not given me the money I won. You are stealing from me. Oh, shit. Short. You again, Ken Daddy.

Ken Daddy-ite. They're definitely making their move. Still no sign of Vapian DNA.

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Today, I met the love of my life. Her name is Judith Persuma.

She just, she seemed kind of off to me.

Why would you think that? Tell me. It's her eyes. They're just so dark.

I feel like she was going to eat me or something.

I get that a lot. Hell really broke the moment. They released her.

And she is everything.

Something's amiss at Juniper's house, available everywhere this Valentine's Day.

Gathered around campfires, trying to stay warm.

Keeping them in a constant state of desperation is an essential part of the operation.

There are so many of them. How am I supposed to convince everyone to get to the evac point?

There should be a point person to talk to. Not an elected leader, per se, but someone who's gained the trust of the group. A de facto leader. Or at least someone who can circulate the plan to everyone there.

Okay. Um, how do I find that person?

You don't. The reason we sent you down there undisguised is so you'll stick out like a sore thumb. Be patient and wait for someone to approach you. That should be the person to talk to.

Okay. What level of freakout is Verge at right now? I really don't think I'm the one to worry about right now, sweetheart. Hey. Are you okay? I'm... okay. God, there are so many different types of people down here, Verge. Yeah, they come from all over the place. After all this is over, I need you to make a serious effort to show me something out here that isn't terrible. Okay? That's a good idea. I wish I could go back, do everything over again with you there. Baby, we should have been assigned each other at birth. We should never have had to look for each other. It's a crime. but according to Leif there's an ocean of universes out there and um in one of them I was an awkward kid walking into freshman year at Hood River Valley High School and uh there you were somehow huh I looked up at you and put my heart into all four of your hands and I never looked back those happy kids are out there somewhere just think about all the versions of us that never met I worry about them all the time

who are you?

Hang on, I think I just hit the jackpot.

Hi!

Earth? Yes, um, I'm Deidre. You're on the wrong planet. I think everyone here is on the wrong planet. I think you know what I mean. What's your name? I promise I'm here to help you. Malu.

Wait, what?

It's nice to meet you, Malu.

Holy shit! What? Oh, nothing.

One Earthling is weird, but I've seen two now. One a few days ago, and now you.

Right, Steve. You saw my friend Steve. He told me about all of you. Um, me and my friends are trying to get everyone out of here.

I promise. The reason why we all are here is because someone said they were going to save us. They were lying. Why should I believe you?

Deidre, if you're talking to someone that's green with yellow stripes, they're from a planet called Limonier. They're probably there with their younger brothers and sisters.

You've got every right to be protective. Are you here with family?

Lamonier is mostly wetlands. Everyone there has to work at a water treatment facility. It sucks.

You're from Lamonier, right? You were trying to get your family away from the water treatment

facilities? I don't blame you for being desperate. Our parents thought they were saving us. Malu, if you'll trust me, your parents sending you away won't be in vain. How are you going to do this? There's a ship coming. I need everyone in this encampment to follow me. Suspicion isn't going to get you out of this place, Malu. Only trust is going to do that. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it's true. Show me where. Then I'll decide. Okay. Follow me.

Anyway, they're called the Erds. Apparently they were here on this mountain a long time ago. And I don't know why. There's this huge structure Back in town But that can't be everything they left behind

Ancient ones

Yeah, ancient ones I keep walking around Looking for something they may have left behind But it's just that one structure It can't have just been that building

Hammer scale

What?

You must find Hammer scale

What is that?

When kingdoms fall They become ruins. The ruins fade into the mountains and hills. But even as the ruins turn to dust, the hammer scale remains.

What is it?

When my hammer strikes the steel, it leaves behind hammer scale. I cannot see it, but it remains forever.

Okay. Okay, so it's microscopic iron dust. It disappears into the soil, but it's always there.

You must look for that which you cannot see.

Right. Okay. Traces of them I can't see.

We cannot help but leave traces of ourselves behind, no matter how much we wish to disappear.

Hello?

Trinket, what's up?

Nothing. I got bored.

Bored?

And a little anxious. Also, I think Eldon got a little annoyed that I kept picking up my landline for an update.

Just a little annoyed.

Where's Verge?

There. A little anxious. Trying to work it out with some target practice.

I see. Any news?

How are we doing, Eldon?

Deidre's made contact with a point person down in the cave there, making their way to the access point now. Meanwhile, everyone else is putting on quite a show.

bartender my man you guys got a jukebox oh we want to play some Billy Joel you guys got moving no no no no no here is the proper trajectory you start with moving out. Then kick it up a notch with Big Shot. Then you bring it back down with New York State of Mind. Then you bring the heat with you may be right. I may be crazy.

Yo, Barton. Okay, okay. We are out of ding tongs, but we are going with a two-for-one special for snowballs. Would anyone like snowballs? Snowballs

over here! Snorts, you want a snowball?

I do not want your balls. Everything seems to be the appropriate level of ridiculous at the moment. You really think

this is going to work? The whole thing hinges

on the fact that Minsky would never expect us to try and free all the people he's got trapped down there. He thinks no one knows where he's keeping them. There's no way he's going to say, but what if they have a mushroom witch? Now all we have to do is keep his attention on the casino And we should be good This part is the easy part The hard part will be the completely impossible part That involves a ship that probably doesn't exist Leif, I've got to ask you something What?

You've been pretty resistant to this ship everyone's talking about

The true trans traveler

Yeah, I mean, you really hate this idea

I do

Do you think maybe you've gotten a little desensitized to, you know, all this? All what? Well, there's a space dinosaur over there. Verge has four arms. I'm full of mushrooms. The whole Frank situation.

a mountain that travels through the universe, a diner that does the same thing. But with the ship, there's this wall of doubt. And you, you don't think that's weird?

Quilandus. That was the name of the planet I was on before I got here. My arm turned black. So did my foot. The only thing that saved me was the frozen shit of a giant walrus thing that I set on fire to stay warm. I walked for hours in cold that could kill a friggin' Inuit. And before that, I had to save us from the bad guy by picking up a gun and shooting my friends, hoping to God that I didn't kill them. Where was my magical sled to carry me to safety, Trinket? I'm not oblivious to all the insane shit that I've seen. But if I depend on it, if I just hope that it's going to be there, I think that's a good way to get dead.

You know, sorry to be a witch about it, but that brain of yours and the actions you take and the magical spaceships and the traveling mountains, the spirits move in all of those things, Leif. For me, there's no difference between them.

I don't know how to calculate for the movements of the spirits, Trinket.

I think you do. But I understand you need to call it something else. Try to have a little faith sometimes, Leif. Just because you're smart doesn't mean you know everything. Trust me.

Smart person's disease. What? One time a friend of mine told me I have smart person's disease. Smart people, such as myself, suffer a side effect of our smartness, where we think everyone else is stupid just because we're smart.

Exactly.

Hey, I've got a question for you. Okay. Down in the caves. Deidre just ran into someone I know. Really? I knew them in another universe. That's weird. It's statistically impossible. But it's not the first time it's happened. I've been to a billion universes at this point, but I keep running into people I know. What's that about?

It's really beautiful. Sure, but what does it mean? I don't know. People become bonded with each other in all sorts of ways that we can never know. Maybe people have a way of sticking together that we can't really understand.

I hate big questions.

I know.

I've got too many of them right now.

Yeah, yeah. There's a lot going on with you right now. But, hey, I think I might be able to help you out with one of those.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you were saying that you were in one place, and then suddenly you woke up here in Hood's Pocket, right?

Yeah.

You don't remember how you got here?

No.

I think I can help you with that.

How?

Well, it's a little, you know, witchy.

You're going to cast a spell on me or something?

No, not exactly. But I think I know a way that we can walk you through your memories. Like we're walking on a beach.

A beach?

Yes.

How?

Well, it involves the astral plane.

The astral plane?

Yes.

Trinket.

Hey, I know. I know how it sounds, but I think it's possible.

Okay. Maybe I deal with all this stuff first?

Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

Okay. The astral plane.

That's right.

Sure. Yes.

Leif.

Yeah.

We're here.

Okay. Okay. That should be where the rock wall is the thinnest. Remember that ball of goo I gave you? Yeah. Take it out and stick it to the wall. Okay. Okay, it's on. Now.

That other thing I gave you. It looks like a stick with a string sticking out of it. Yes. Stick it inside the goo. After you pull the string, you'll have ten seconds.

Okay. What is this stuff, Leif?

Just a simple mixture of household products, Deidre.

Okay. Okay, I'm pulling the string. Ten seconds. Let's go! Holy shit!

Nice work.

Household products, huh?

Everybody's got a bomb under their kitchen sink, Deidre. Did you manage to make a hole?

Yeah. Yeah, it worked.

Okay. That should lead all the way out to the ocean. Good luck. Thanks.

Verge is okay?

Target practice.

Got it. Kind of wish I was on the casino team right now. That sounds like fun.

It's about to get less fun, but that's no concern of yours. Report back to us when you've reached the evacuation point. Okay.

What's up in the casino?

Minsky has sent someone to monitor the casino floor.

Who?

Sluggo.

Great.

It's called a scorpion bowl. It's gin, rum, tequila, and then dark rum, little splash of pineapple, then a shot of flaming rum in the middle, and a straw. You know, scorpion bowl.

Delia, do not forget the cherries. Okay, boss, I'm on the casino floor.

Good. Wait there until we see someone make him.

Sure thing.

Frank.

Uh, yeah, what's up?

Casually look to your right.

Okay. Casually looking?

Do you see the eight-foot purple robot?

I do. Oh my god, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that thing?

That's Sluggo. He's a thugbot.

Oh. Huh. Gee, I wonder what his job is.

We need to take him off the board.

Copy that. We take him off the board?

That's right.

Okay. How do we do that?

Minsky sent him down to wait for our next move.

Yes. Perfect. Wait, what is our next move?

We don't have one. But Minsky doesn't know that.

Okay. So what do we do then?

We act like we're making our next move.

Sure. Got it. By doing what?

Do you see the whole way? To your left. Yeah. Head towards it and act like you're trying to act casual.

Wait, how do I act like I'm... Never mind.

You can do it.

Pardon me. I am going to casually walk down this hallway. BRB. Be right back. Amazing work, Frank. That one there. Where's he going?

Oh, looks like he's walking towards the freight elevator.

Here we go. Follow him.

Sure thing, boss. Doug. Oh, uh, yes, I'm here.

See that purple robot heading towards you?

Purple? Oh, my goodness. What do I do?

Don't worry. He's going to walk right past you.

I really hope so.

Play it cool.

Uh-huh.

Uh, Zagnut? I've got Zagnut bars here.

Okay, he just, he just, he passed.

Hit the first switch on your beverage cart.

Uh-huh. Um, okay. Uh, first switch. Done.

That should cut off Sluggo's comms. He's all yours. This should be an interesting experiment. Experiment?

Elton, where am I going?

There should be a freight elevator in front of you.

Yeah, how do I open it?

One moment. Get inside.

Okay, got it. And then what?

Then wait.

Wait?

Evening.

Hey! Hi. Hi. Where you headed? Huh? Is this not the bathroom?

It's the freight elevator.

Oh, my God. Now I see the signage in this place. Am I right? It's just... I mean, it is very confusing.

So, Frank, like I said, we need to take Sluggo off the board. I'm going to close the door to the elevator in a moment. Just do whatever comes naturally.

God damn it, Elton.

Okay, I have now gotten the hang of this game. Which means everyone here is in trouble.

It is your turn.

Snorts.

We had a whole conversation about patience. Do you remember?

Hello, June. We need to inject a little more chaos onto the casino floor. Get Snortz to throw one of his little temper tantrums, won't you?

Twist my arm. I am not twisting your arm. I am not talking to you.

Shorts! Gee!

Who are you talking to?

Excuse me, dealer. I ordered some chicken tendies like half an hour ago. Not sure what kind of place you're running here.

You have ordered no chicken dunders. You don't know! Take your turn.

Okay, okay, fine. Here we go. Taking my turn.

Chopping broccoli. Chopping broccoli. Chopping broccoli. Chopping broccoli. Stop singing that song! Every time you talk to me, I have to start over at chopping broccoli!

We've got a problem.

What?

Snorts.

Why will you not take your turn?

They really need to stop letting him into casinos.

Where is Sluggo?

Uh, I don't have him.

He was headed for the freight elevators.

Okay, the video feed in the elevators has gone dark.

Gone dark how?

I don't know how.

This isn't Verge. This is something else.

What is it?

I don't know. Where is Steve?

Celeste, what's your status?

Well, turns out the bartender makes a hell of a scorpion bowl.

Wonderful. What else?

The entire casino floor has somehow turned into a bar brawl.

Hard not to admire June's ability to create total chaos.

What am I supposed to do?

We're about to pull the rug out. Frank may need help getting out of the freight elevator. Okay. Doug, are you ready?

Um, getting pretty crazy down here. Okay.

It's the second switch on your beverage cart.

Okay, I'm ready.

Okay. Hit it.

Here goes. Uh, guys? The blackout is on purpose, right?

It's all part of our fake plan, Ju.

Okay. Okay, there it is. We're supposed to wait right here. All of us? Yes, we need to get everyone to the mouth of the cave, and the ship will be right outside the cave. When it shows up, we all make a run for it. But we don't have a lot of time. That is hard for me to believe. I know. I know it is.

Have you heard of the True Trans Traveller? Every desperate person has heard of the True Trans Traveller. It's coming. It's coming soon. Malu, I know. The problem is that all of us got stuck in this place because we decided to trust someone we didn't know. I know. You cannot ask me to do that twice.

I'm asking. I'm asking twice. Malu, come on. I just blew a hole in the wall. That's got to mean something. Your name is Deidre?

Yes. We're all very tired, Deidre. I know. We were all very tired when our journey began, but now we have given up hope. But you are here, telling us to have hope again.

That must feel terrible. That must make you feel even more exhausted. People keep telling you to believe in them, and they keep letting you down.

why do so many think that desperate people are like property you take them you throw them away when you want what do we do malu

You haven't done anything except live in the world. They made that a crime. Despite all of this, you have to believe that out there somewhere are people who don't think this is right. People who will try to stop it when they see it. I don't want to believe, but I think they're out there somewhere. They're right here, Malu. It's me. I can't let this happen. So I'm here, trying to stop it. I need you to believe in people one more time. Just one more time. One more time.

Celeste, I know it's dark in there But have you managed to make it to the freight elevator?

Never fear I'm guided by the light of my flaming beverage I'm like Indiana Jones

It's very industrious of you There should be a manual release under the control panel Do you see it?

I see it

Push it up and to the left

Okay

Frank? Oh Oh, hey, Celeste, your drink is on fire. It's a scorpion bowl. Oh, right, sure.

What is this junk everywhere?

The junk? Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Must have been here when I got here.

Is that a robot head?

It is a robot head, yeah. Don't worry about it. Elden! What are we doing?

All right, everyone. Abandon the casino and make your way to the alley. When the lights come up, we'll be gone. And hopefully, Minsky will be very confused. Oh, I know. I certainly am.

Okay. All right, everybody, move. Let's go.

Okay, we're back up. What the hell just happened?

I'm confused.

About which part?

We just lost power in the casino for several minutes.

Yeah?

So in a predictable world, I would be dead when the lights came back up. Not to make assumptions, boss. You appear to be breathing in and out. I am, in fact. Where's Sluggo?

Hang on, is that...

What the hell happened to him? Looking like he took a trip down the stairs. Yet there he sits, in the elevator. Where is Steve? Steve? This is... This is something else. This isn't Verge making their move. This is something else.

What is it?

No. No. That can't be it.

What?

Bring up the video feed for the caves.

The caves?

Just do it.

Okay. Oh. Who is that?

Patch through the audio.

You're live.

Steve.

Well, good evening. How's your night been, Minsky?

What the hell are you up to, Steve?

I don't know what you mean.

What are you doing in the caves, Steve?

Well, I was looking for the bathroom.

I showed you my operation down there in confidence, Steve. I thought we had an understanding.

I'm pretty sure our understanding was you thinking that I was a fucking idiot.

Steve, what's the plan here? You had your friends come to the casino and distract me, and now what? You're going to steal literally thousands of people from me? You think I can't stop that before it happens? Where are you going to put them?

You really expect me to lay out my whole plan for you right now? That really would make me an idiot.

You should think twice before crossing me like this, Steve.

And you should think twice before messing with a Coos Bay dirtbag!

He cut the feed. What is a Coos Bay dirtbag?

Fucking Earthlings. Francis.

What's up, boss?

Head down to the caves. Deal with Steve, would you?

Sure thing, boss.

that's the last one of them oh my god this is so many people i hope you know what you doing. We've all decided to trust you. Okay. Okay. Um, everyone, can I have your attention? Everyone? Everybody, shut the fuck up. Thank you. Um, my name is Deidre. I know so many of you are scared right now. I'm scared too, but I swear to God we have a plan. Okay? I think a lot of them want to know who you are. Oh, all right. Apparently you all would like to know who we are. I guess that's understandable. I kind of came out of nowhere. So who are we? Well, honestly, we're not anyone. We're not freedom fighters or anything like that. Honestly, I think we're just like anyone else. We are normal people who found ourselves sitting by and watching something terrible happen, and we couldn't sit by and watch anymore. It's kind of a weird moment. Your feet just start moving, and suddenly you're in the middle of it. We risked a lot to do this. We didn't have much of a choice. It was like it chose us. So now, well, now we've come to the part of the plan where we just have to cross our fingers and wait. Don't lose hope, everyone. We're almost there. Thank you, Malu. I've decided this is the last time I've ever trusted somebody. I hope I don't regret it. Honestly? Me too. Do you hear that? That music? I think so. From where? Stars are free and you are me of stardust. You were born free, and you will be free again. Holy shit.

All of our children, time to get reborn.

I can't believe that. Everybody, move it!

Oh, Steve.

Where are you hiding, pal? Wave. Okay, Steve, don't panic. You've got that thing I gave you.

Yeah, yeah.

Turn it on.

What do I do with it?

It'll do all the work. It's a microwave drill. It'll scramble his insides, but it takes time to work. Give it as much time as you can.

He's got knives for hands, Wave.

Better than lasers for hands. Shit.

There you are.

Great to see you again, Steve-A-Reno. Hey, Francis. You know, Steve, I hope you understand that I think you're a real cool guy.

Hate that it has to end this way. You know, the things you say, they don't quite match the things that you do, Francis. I know. It's my curse.

I would have been much better off entertaining kids.

I think that's probably a terrible idea, Francis.

Oh, well. It's my lot in life. You know, I tell people all the time that things will go a lot quicker if they don't struggle. Nobody ever listens. I'm just trying to look out for them.

Francis, wait. I need to tell you something. Okay. Better make it fast. Everything I say is a lie. Okay. Also, I'm lying.

You're lying.

Yes.

But everything you say is a lie.

Right.

Which means you're lying about lying.

I am.

Which means you're telling the truth.

Yes.

But you're always lying.

Always.

Hey, wait a minute. Are you trying to logic bomb me? Maybe. Oh, come on, Steve. That stuff hasn't worked for a hundred years.

Worth a shot, I guess.

Paying for effort. Shit. Think about it this way, Steve. There's a million ways to kill a guy that's much faster and easier, but Minsky makes me do it this way. What kind of bananas is that to put into a paper shred?

Uh, what? I said, cut find of pajamas is plaid to sod pinto the gaper breader. Francis? Blut blind blow blow blanos blizz blap blonto blue bladder bladder. Wait, I think it worked.

That was a close one.

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, dude.

Weird that I feel bad now.

He was about to kill you, dude.

Yeah, nobody's perfect, but, uh, so what do I do now?

Steve, I can't believe I'm saying this, but we're in the clear.

head to the evac point seriously get back to hood's pocket steve we've got a long night of making fun of life ahead of us holy shit you don't need a ticket you don't need a suitcase just bring yourself and the person you long to be are all of your people on board i'm the last one

okay i can't believe this worked where do you think we're going i don't know malu i know it's Better than here. Are you sure you don't want to come with us? It's dangerous here. I already found my magic ship. Go. I won't forget you.

The ship is full. We've got nothing but green lights. Buckle up, children. It's gonna be a normally ride. In a good way.

Whoa.

Well, now I have nothing but questions. No one is ever allowed to doubt me again.

Hey, baby.

Deja, we've got the door to the cave sealed. Now even Minsky can't get in. Head out to the mouth of the cave onto the beach. Celeste will pick you up there.

On my way. I just got us in a lot of trouble, didn't I?

Well, I can't imagine Minsky being thrilled about this, but we can deal with that tomorrow. Right now, I don't think even he knows what's going on.

But he will.

Don't worry about that now. Just get back to me. June's already started the party at the Sheep's Eye.

Sounds like fun. Private party first, though, okay? Just you and me.

That's my favorite kind of party.

shit alas of note you know what everyone else fails to see bugaboo what's that battle pope that we embody the spirit of the underestimated just when they done forgot about us there we are in the clutch snatching defeat from the mouth of victory ma'am if you would be so kind our employer would like a word

the bracken system and its home world ren that's where i'm from pure chaos i wish people could understand what it's like to live in that people don't know what it's like to fight for your life every day. I was taught a very valuable lesson there, that there must be an order to things. There must be a hand that guides everything, that people, collectively, are idiots and need to be told what to do. I know that sounds strange coming from a career criminal, but I've found the rules of crime to be even more strict than those of law and order. The rules in my world are clear, they are severe, and judgment is swift. I know you're out there listening to me. I know we can work together on this. Let's add a little order to the world, shall we?

Hey, Minsky.

Well, be still my heart. I'm sure you're worried about Deidre. Please, don't worry. She's being treated very well. Oh, for your sake, I hope so. Let's get down to it.

It's a tale as old as time. Me for her. That's right. What the fuck does he want with me, Minsky? To be quite honest with you, Virge, I don't care. I was sent here to do a job. I'm about to complete that job. And then after that, we will be able to return to doing the good work of... Well, you know, the work we do. Frankly, this whole thing has been an unnecessary distraction. But he moves in strange ways, my employer. If you've hurt her, everyone dies. Verge, if I don't return with you to the galaxy brain, we're all dead. See? I've got skin in the game, too. I bear no malice whatsoever towards this woman. Come to me here, we'll put her in your ship, and send her back to her little mountain. You realize... I'm gonna kill you the first chance I get, right? Of course. I'd expect nothing less. But that's what I'm talking about. Verge. Rules. Clear. Severe. Swift. They come for us all eventually. It'll be lovely to see you again.

Where are we at? They've just made the trade-off. Deidre is in the Phoenix, and I'm flying her back now. So, this is up to us now. We have one last advantage. What? We didn't know if Minsky was here for you or Verge. Now we know. Which means...

They have no idea I exist.

That's right. I hope you remember how to get into the galaxy brain.

I remember. Ahem. Testing one, two, three. Looks like Deidre left her phone behind. This message is for the good people of Hood's Pocket. My business with Verge has concluded, but I'm afraid there are one or two action items that need to be addressed before I go. I'm afraid that little town of yours has cost me a lot of money today. Quite ingenious what you did. I'm honestly still not sure how you did it. But regardless, a transgression like this can't go unanswered. What the fuck is that? The sound you're hearing is the sound of Battle Pope and Bugaboo igniting the chemical pits. Oh shit. You're new in town, so you probably don't know what that is. It's an ocean of toxic chemicals that's deposited right next to Raxius. Everyone is always worried what would happen if the chemical pits blew. Now we're going to find out. Motherfucker! As we speak, a cloud of toxic gas is now making its way across Raxeus. Now, Raxeus has a way to defend against such things. The buildings, they seal themselves. I don't imagine you have that same protection up in the mountains. And that is, of course, where this cloud of poisonous gas is headed next. I'm no expert, but I don't think Earthlings fare very well against clouds of toxic gas. You can try to run, of course, but I think you'll be surprised how fast this cloud's going to travel. Most of you will be dead by morning, but you do seem to be quite an industrious bunch up there, so just in case I miss a few of you, I will be sending a cleanup crew to check and make sure all the good work's been done. Cleanup crew? They're called Eels. I can't wait for you to meet them. Oh no. Leif! I heard. What is he talking about? Leif! We're in for a really long night.

welcome to the horizon is brought to you in part by our monte cristo level and above supporters pronghorn billy bert bert Bethany, Second Bethany, Jerry Kosu, Leon Sporkfire, Pastor Jen Henson, Hashim Aljorani, the Arabanator, the Dick Wizard, Lou Woods, Chris Goyer, Noise Squared, Ginger Bear's Honey Bunny, and their sidekick Wicklow, the Mount Hood Torrey Gate, Mrs. Cashew, Cat Roth Daniels, Julia Gulia of the Shreveport Gulias, Leopold Gogol, Alex Drumbar, Stoner Pubby, Elisa Kelly Martin, Pan-System University of Mihira and New Tideland. Inateb thought they could be a spy in the Bethany War by spelling their name backwards, but isn't fooling anyone, everyone. Sub-Arctic Turtle, the femboy behind Casper, DocU018, Mark Kayab-Yab, my two favorite sheep toys say hi from New Zealand. Jasonator, Namir, Have Diner, Will Travel, Sandalwood Mountain, East Coast Branch, Ash Draw Stuff, Christy the Chaos Coordinator, Luna Anzul, Joshua Baker, Grant Blackburn, The Bean Count Bandit, A Margin Mage, Dragon, Silent J, Geo, Goose's Little Brother, a.k.a. Buzz Baleb Blunderer of the Benefactor's Buns, K-Man, Mimosa, David O'Banion, Polar Green, Carmen L7, Live on the Undersignal, Flat Dug with the Weather, Dizzy Miss Lizzy, Mostly Harmless Alien, Kayla Soom, right behind you, Goncalo Martins, World's Largest Ball of String, Bucky Chipmunk Reminds You That You Lost the Game, Samuel LeFew, Hestoden Neprathum, Flashcards, A&K, Nicole Dyke, Nina Cuneo, Arresting Place for Weary Beans, Shane Hopkins, Juniperb with the Backwards Knees, Eve in the Between Hour, Two-Faced Janice, Zez Maldo, Slight Burn, Scooter, Worshipper of the Seven Cat Gods, Kelsey Manette, the Amethyst Dragon with Tiger Eyes, Martell McKinney, Spitboy the Spit Guy, He Spits, Ice Queen, Laser Girl and the Nurse, Where Are Our Ores, Catty B, Andrea Williams, Go Ask Alice, Wes Kester Saves the World, Valen's three cats stacked atop each other wielding a plasma gun, Jeffrey, Purple Nurple Nullifier, Scam Likely, Oops, Wrong Podcast, Reaper's Past, Late Indeed Again, Rex, Cricket and Frankie, Brigitte, Spotius, Squiddy, The Frosthunt Scientific Collective, Two of us have PhDs, and the third has memorized all of Ava's dialogue. Champagne Supernova, Robin Smith, Eleven Letter Christopher, Ronald Lee Parker, Sasquatch, Antonia Ortiz, A Block of Ice, Mailman That Hates Your Tiny Mailbox, Ren the Crescent, Erica Davis, Jane Doe, John Gormanshire, Magic

Incognito, Lord Drez, Solaris Nova, Sandalwood Mountain, North, Cryptic Amorphous, About 45 Degrees. Mandy. Big Cat Makes Kitten Go Purr. Ted Ted and Teddy. Bethany, who showed up late to the war and decided to eat pine cones with the mongo. Michelle. Parker Berry. Don't actually say this part of my name, just say my name, please. Dr. LL, your Jamaican fan, says Wagwan. Raptors in the kitchen. People died. Tula Blue and 142 Bugaloo. Pistol Pete and Death Lotion. Ace Spades. Debbie Trencher. That one dude who likes tacos. Mark the list name loser. The Mail Escort, Lady Bethany, a.k.a. Mrs. Turkey Spit, Steve, Junior Barding, the father of Lucas, Ava Maddox's Ashtray, Adorbys, Vera Torkelson, Bones, Lizard Breath, and the Snot Rocket would love a space burger, Andrea Rose, Samantha Oram, Emiler, Kayden Suda, Bat Loves Dragon, Tommy Johnson, Unhip Fern, David Sosa, Noodles by Godzilla, Ralph Capone, Corey 83, Blues, Liz wants Leif to build her a plane. Dude named Blake. John Caleb Williams. Deuce Lexia. Yontalius. Kian. An ill exchange student from Midst. Dapperty last name. Rattrick. Ricklin like rich land but without the D. Dyer. All Bethany's must do the hustle. Geordie Ladbrad. Natasha without Boris. Frost and Alice. Lobster Possum. Known. Coyote Mike is on the run from the Bethany's and is looking for the resistance. Loaf Trax's drag name is Anarchist. A mostly morose ghost-eating toast. Hey, Leander. Love you, kiddo. Malort Boy. Jinx the Cat would like to offer you biscuits. Have a zesty day. Megan. Malcolm Edwards. Spend my money irresponsibly. Stephen Drop. Dana Thanielson, son of Dana Thaniel, or Danny for short. Chris Eaton. Cross-stitcher who loves the hobby and time travel. Funchbrunglin. Nash likes apples. Njord Flanders, owner of the Hood's Pocket Leftorium, Pneumatic Yeti, Late Trucker, The Eldritch Skyphozoa, Wyatt Fryhover, Paul, James Bell, Dave Davison, Broom Goddess, Theodore and the Sons of Ted, Ricky Burnett, That New Guy, DeSavage Indian, Radboy, Hayden Brown, Gray Craniac, Jules Weeks, Calf, The Generous Patient Rose, John Wilkes Booth's Freedom Loving Horse, aka Jay Willikers, Neckbone His Imperial Dudeness, Oh, hey, it's Jay, Lou the guy. Ghost, Cinder and Beast of the Maze are in the deep freeze. Grimm, off the internet, wants Harriet to know that he loves her. Ernie Brooks, Titan King 707, Rich Francis, Burger Kaspaspa, no relation. Jedi Shaolin, Smart Alec the Great, Gas Station Cryptid. Shane Snoke, seeking show supporter serenity, surrenders and shortens his subscriber salutation to something super serious. They use Kashk, Bird Bird the Bird's Bird, Cheesy McFish, Papa Goose. Sometimes I do feel like a plastic bag.

A Very Spicy Walrus, Amanda Bills, Misty Word Power, Casper's Danish Moose, Flacco, a.k.a. Johnny R. the Disco Spider, Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Leif, Chapter 2, The Ted Slayer Unchained, Vicky Hebert, Pike Daniels, The Cosmic Whale, Zan Satsu, Mr. and Mrs. Van Limberlost, Murdoch Wang, a Caterpillar Farmer. For just one billion, you too can join the Monte Cristo Peace Committee and help put Joe Fisher away for his Bethany war crimes. Chimera, Don Moat, Space Trucker Chadwick Conan Doyle III, Jody Green, Nix Minx, Monster Senshi, Heather Needs a Divorce, Michael Peters, Political Knitter, Seasonal Sasquatch silently seeks secret society so special souls softly sing sweet songs, smartly stirring strong stories. A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts. physicist brendan shoneman i divided by zero and now i'm undefined yeah leif the horse is here mag tremor rod stewart the sailor slayer james we met the listless enjoyer ash morningstar and her traveling animal shelter miss maxine 50 bees in a trench coat say buzz buzz bit calm down quantum dozer boy got them honka honkers kevin o'malley invisible garrilla the mrs poland Zemaniac. Lord Axton shares the realm with Lady Sparkle. Hop loves a thugbot named Francis. Pam the Infinite. And Thou. Curiosity is eating your bones. Revolutionary Inclined Ocelot. Matt Howler. Andrew Bear. Marius de Joa. Butterfly Fox. Riot the Tranny. Congregation of Alligators Wearing Groucho Glasses. Irma the Llama. 27 Keep It Tight. Chip Gloria's right-hand jack-in-the-box man. Giaudin Grim Knight Pike Daniels the Whale Anthoseles Bethany Maximus Lord of Kingwood, Texas Ragnar Jensen Addison Weirdo Wagner Shua the Druid is composting the rich for a salad bar Eraman 0305 Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for night breakfast Jim Weathers Titus Koslov Ashes of a burnt out lathe I'm a kung fu panda on the wind Brandon AR, aka Thor, wants to say I love you all because he first loved us. Also, Labuza's voice is so very beautiful. The Intergalactic House of Cats Demand a Free Palestine, Electromancer, Chekhov's Space Cannon, Corey Sensus, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm a Djinn, Red and Dusty with His Garden Goddess, Shelby Morrison, Kobe's Dingleberry, Mystic Monster for Chaos, Ziggy Dreadful, Rave Hands Mally, G-Wing, Frank One, I'm Just Here to Refill the Parmesan Cheese, It Is Sparks, Fug Nut, Formerly Damn Scrub, Lost Girl Lou, Christopher Byram, Middle American Penguin, Shanna Welch, Crocheted Cosmos. Cookie Chunks, you heard? Andy the Celestial Penguin. Bunny Homan. Leafs Bathrobe. Misty Lovebug. Bo Nunley. Ariana Castillo. The Eurasian Goss Hawk that portends great change. Lita Mettinger. Marco. Lethargic God. Friend, as in your best. Lime Ghost. M. Icky Blurgs. Jay the Irascible. The Magic Committee. Committee of Anything Magical.

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At every moment in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home, and it's already found you. Jao Paulo Lemos, Odd Keep the Sentient Lighthouse, The Faceless Old Bethany Who Secretly Lives in Your Home, DeShane, Tanya Fisher, Appalachian Death Queen, Zosifer, Doggo of Doom, Burnt Barbecue Beef Brisket, It's official, they're called Figuronis, Kevin Winans, Marlon C., Just Whelmed, Madame Paris, Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire, Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnese West, Knox, Lisa Liu, Emmett Hale, The Triad's Baddest Goblin, Emery and Lano, James Miles, Browncoats Love the Diner, House Chaos and the Critter Cacophony, Max, Nia, and Ivonne's Sixth Sick Sheik's Sixth Sheep's Sick. Nope, never mind, it's Mark's. You people hate me. Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Misty Dawn Mitchell Jr., Gaia Turtle, Wayne Barahona, Jesse the Dragonrider, We Will Not Rest Until Puerto Rico and Palestine are Free, Pluto Crow, Nissi's Mom, PokeSplort, Whiskey Rebellion and Gen Riot's Interdimensional Detective Agency, Zephyr Vitriol, Altreon, Slim Nandy, Goth Lafe, Jen and Brit, Adriana Bartolomucci, Jonah Is Gay, The Midnight Ashes, Hornetti, Balian Fair, The Knight of Silver Flames, Hood's Pocket Protector, Listening to Ava Sing Poisoning Pigeons in the Park Made my shitty day instantly better. Valkyrie Storm, Patricia Who's Always Late But Somehow on Time, DC Squirrel, Honey Cooper, Kyle the Interstellar Highwayman, Shelley Act on the Verge, Gale Friend, Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, The Sparky Tech, Prop the Croc-A-Gator, Ringleader Volt, Jazz Punker, Captain Tight Pants and the Companion, Agent Night Breakfast, Braddy for Mission Control, Renee N, Katarina de la Playa, RIP Eloise Waffles, The Floof Wrangler, aka The Space Druid, Phantom Land TTRPG Dice, Curiouser K8, Your Local Blacksmith, Ash Montgomery, The Boggiest of Birches, Jason, HVAC Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze, SK Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr the Weffer Montgomery Foxworth, Merry Face, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Pearl the Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole64, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscalo, Full Beans, Gloria's Forgotten Ford Festiva, Brandon Wright, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Cauldron, Force for Good-ish, Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, The Judah, Slater Morales, Intergalactic Fry Lord, Gravity's Optional but Fry's Aren't, CJ's The Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's, Angel Vasquez, Evil the Cat, Stephen Raymer, J. Carp Fishman, The Great Goblino, Low Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Joji the Birdwatcher, A Flock of Great Horses from the Top of a Sycamore, Lilac Borcella, Rachel Crimpa, with special thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband Steve. Don't worry about the order, honey. Temporal Hashbrown, Diane Brown, Dr. Flog wants Tita to return his voicemails, Captain No Sleep, Jamie Rainey, The Slim Reaper, Reuben Eden, Smedley P. Snodgrass III, but please

call me Smeddy. The Shreveport Bohannans, Cece the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury's Sasquatch loads Chekhov's gun and rides to join Bethany's army, Din, Cosmic Ketchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Schmogest and Hossfest, Mousy, Hood's Pocket Gear and Sprocket Local Repair Café, Crafty Introvert, The, Postmaster General Kwan Sent Me, Mad Maddox, Blake Basmagian, Nitwit 14, Roiled Way Too Harshly, DJ Johnny B, The Clop Man Diamond, Marco Montano, No Longer Doing a Bit, Shiny Fields, Adam Tachek, Krista. for Wendell, Unproductive Banana, Pulsifer the Paulist of Paulism, Zombie Spider-Man, The Sorcerer Sanguine Says Brain Demons is an Anagram of Brandon is Me, Bex823, Auntie Cryptid, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, In the Hot Seat, Mime Ninja's Ninja Mime, Master Oogway, Barry, Dilly is Dallying, Podcast Junkies Photoshop Crashes, Eight Hours Gone, Futile Screaming at the Ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibresto, Slider, Malachi high. Julian Rhodes, Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana. Learn how to be calm in heart, Stumbly. I'll be waiting. Physic the good bush, definitely not one of the bad bushes, funding the rebel Bethanies to overthrow the duly elected Bethanies. Hexadecimal Bethany is non-binary. Vapus 10's big black gaping hole. The planet Goobrius wants to know if Croc is a crocodile or a proper gator. Bruce? Jessica Gigoma. Torical. Jenny the bear. Grrrr. Bellringer. Sir Dean Thorne. Treech! Mr. Flibble is very cross. Haute potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Burt Bird's caboose until its end lists all the way down. Dave and Buster's server manager ready to serve all the Bethany's a Monte Cristos. Blind time traveler convention date. LA woman the phoenix rising. New name? God? No, not him. Jeff Andrew? Sure, Jeff Andrew. Miss Luan, a British woman with cute dogs. Cup of noodles. Schmizzy Two-Shoes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Matt Grigsby, Justin Smolin, Riku31, Craig Dundee, New Type Without a Gundam, Astral Sea, Ickle Me Pickle Me Tickle Me Too, Witch Loud the Cartoonist, Guy With the Chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagel Knife, Imelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan K, Devin7777 has been my fave verbal stim for months, Nate, Forklift lifts forks for Cliff, Vince M, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves MIDI, Brian Our overhead is way too high with all of these names, and please make sure to turn in all your receipts. Love, Josh from Accounting. Satsuma, Silius Goose, Dr. Jones, Icy Axe, Coach Shane of Toad Sucks Central, Go Cranes, Sky, Cole Arthur, Lego Croissant, Cassade, Narwin Murgler. You've all been assigned to write a four-page essay on your favorite Arthropod.

it will be 50% of your grade. Joe Cuppa. Dogma Mom. We be chopping broccoli. Icy Fish. The hacker known as Ivy DeBurb. Blue Toon. A feisty ass chickadee. Poultry Landmine. The Scrappy Poet. Jenny the Cryptid Paladin. Maverick Artist. Shit. It was a mimic. Basil and their tea. Waiting to gossip with David. Ainsley yay yay yay yay. Angnor. ATB. Kiwi Lovelybead. Zoe. Kesh the Goblin. Professor Freda, Dr. Professor Reverend Bethany Wethany Lethany Woofie McFluffenberger, MD, PhD, Esquire, and that's not pretentious at all, ahem, is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago. Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson-Twote, still trapped but I've stopped asking why, the freezer is, I am, we chill, son of Defarge, Wisco Teach, Scott A. Snellgrove, give peas a chance, Samalama Ding Dong, behold Lady Sarah Purr Whiskervale, Countess of Wood Hollow, Mistress of the Whispering Pines and beloved by all creatures small and opinionated, Ricardo Galamba, Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices LLC, hashtag we weave em of gossamer, Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky Von Buckbuck, Cherry Applebee, Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun, Saucy Caesar, Belt, Aspen is a Verge Fanboy, Mick J67, Ava's Favorite My Little Pony Pencil Wants Joe to Slap into a Snim Jim, Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, Representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time Chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries, Lord Entropy, Bok Bok Motherfucker, The Fae Wanderer, Everybody's Favorite Clown Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Psycho Queen, Kosher Steak, Gabriel Strife is brought to you by Charlotte Brown, Gary Gygax, and the number 42. Flo Rida, Alyssa's Shiny Pants, Gondor Calls for Aid, Muscles for Tits, Arnold Rumspringa, The Demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Alan Berglund says, Hi Mom! Jay, Kitty McSkull, Raven Stromdans, hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe, The Wild-Eyed Prophet. Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Lux Luminos, Javi De Niro, Big Chunk, Gadeens, Sasha, the being of chaos, is chilling and eating pine cones with Bethany and the Mungo, Boom Boom's Wooden Leg, Will the Real Muad'Dib Please Stand Up, Jillian C, Udon96, Benjamin, Not Franklin, Tracy Boy, Leia, Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table? A singular nightbird, Bethany in a green field, I am the lizard frantically firing flechette guns, A-E-I-O-U-Y-N-W. Bumblefay, Mr. Epsilon, The Mothman, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W., Brielzebub, Krezimira, Jessalorin, Mayday Hoops, The Bean Wizard, Myth and Stitch Embroidery, Loves the Mucklewains, Lulu Louise, Dulio, The Brew Crew Family, Bert Ruba, Your Most Benevolent Lord and Master of the Multiverse, Jeffrey George, Exquisite Whimsy, Ellie, Don't Tariff Me, Bro,

Oopsie, Evelyn, The Wizard Mooses Hold Out Their Cat for You to Pet, Grimlore, Existential pancakes jenny waboom errant popsicle stick m horowitz isle of refuge jack spider's mom bubble butt bethany has banana breath llama fresh jare the benevolent destroyer valtiel heller sad little earth monkey revan the red beard wizard burt burt and the funky bunch carora the 12th bethany 2 electric boogaloo welcome to the quan pound pen pen pen pen pen pen pen if mr muchacho kaiser schnitzel caught an owl after dark would he be a midnight birder the wolves in the deep Free say awoo. Julie Hammond. Sanctuary Moon's number two fans. Simpson. Alice Lewis. Simply Amy Sue. I pushed her because Joe said so. Even older Liz. McBearcat. Grack Pinfeather. Sitican Druidic Scientist. Astro. Your friendly neighborhood android. Moonlight Zombie Fox. Old Doc Racy. The Midnight Missionary. Out there somewhere looking for you. Rotten Ronnie sleeps in grandma panties. Squonky. Artist Dragonborn. Bigby Garage. Bill Zangana-Lester, Joaquin Jimenez, Big MF Juice, The S.I.P., Muffins, Space Wives are officially Verge and D-Drop, Chad Hatter, Cosmic Tea Maker of the Triads, Captain Jack Harkness wants Peter the Robot, Tell Your Cat I Said, Banana Manaz, A Corgi Cold Kibble, Cuddly Kraken, Sarge the Bard, Cemenity, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberticus, The Other original Caitlyn, Ken Daddy. The jaded Umbra gets slightly less jaded as Peace once again returns to the land. Leah Izadi, Millie Was Taken, Dead to Me 86, B Camp, Shan Man Man Man, Karma Karma Chameleon, Kinran Says Hello, Zoe and Her Army of Mice, Briar Longlost, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, Trixie Belle Du Bois, Dr. Bootyologist the Glutes Doctor. The Hood's Pocket Police are asking for public tips about their stolen station toilet. Currently, they have nothing to go on. Thank you for pressing too. Your Anglophone emotional support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Surly Jess, RIP Lance McClain, you would have loved Midnight Burger, Adam Toklove, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Eros Degod, the size two fish you've been looking for, Eokai, Borgia, Spiders are Cuddly, the main immortal pinball sounds in the diner, Cheel, Neal, Sin City Scuba Steve, Pollywog, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire, finally spots Red Nell as the carnage clears, Professor Thaddeus Snookums the Eighth, Mr. Grin, Glenn Petrovsky, this moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler, Elizabeth Hammond, CheapCon, the real CheapCon, coming to you from the frozen Midwest wastelands, except no imitations, Steam Vision, conductor of the interdimensional time spanning hype train, Dave Harold, Wise Cube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt, and the Piggy Runt,

Bromine, pronounced bro, mine, main humdinga, Mother of Pearl, Fiona now owns Leaf's 18-inch Peter, Seal Face, Rigger Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Coy Lane, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Darth Ox, Michelle K. Comes in Peace, Aaron Arnold, Bo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yoing, as in Boingy, Mama Mander B-Roz and Sluntmaster J, Alpaca Lips, I'll take one butter and brie on rye, please, Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, The Lord Reverend, Ryan, Thomas's ten tenebrous tan stafel timbers treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales, The Lovely Laura Lovely, Kith Gamgee, Sam Wise's flaming cousin, Daniel, Jeremy the Ruler, Gochi, Charles Robert Darwin III, Esquire, PhD, Jacob Mitchell, Swooning for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear, Scrubs, Becky, Just Some Guy from Adelaide named Ryan, Remy, The Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says wolf, whiskered. Any two hands for the double high-five? Marissa the Ghost. Local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Brotherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion, Winchester. Cheshire Corgi. Stray Cat. Old Kelsey No Shoes. Zoldia. Dizzy Flame. We Serve Everyone Eventually. Sasha. Beth and Alan Van Gillis. Langston North. Sly Fox, aka Br'er Rabbit. Pants Darts Champion. The Constantly Lost Geographer. Timothy Aotis. Chance wants you to know. He cares. Wolf Stark, Elliot, Hobbes Decoe, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mubi the Golden Cat, We'll see you next time. Marla Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley. Mr. Steamwave. My friend the rhino reminds you it takes strength to be gentle and kind. Oop, challenge.

Meow. Meow.

Dream founder. I'm your huckleberry. Elizabeth T. Ty Ty the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke. Grandpa Gus. Boombastical Kim Licker. Coco Yumi took her painted ponies to a show and won three awards. Hug-a-Muffin. Bigfoot of Doom. D.L. Annie Atkins. A bounty hunter called the Crandy Man. Garou, our cat said to tell you. Meow, your boy of indeterminate origin. Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Frog President. Pop Rock Quicksand, it's the Benny Yapper's Benny Yappin' birthday. Mr. Squizzle, Sizzle, Whizzle, Fizzle, the horrendous apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for tea are being sent now. Abanasso, Mr. Rage, Attalore, Trans Space Dinosaur, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy, The McJimmy's From Your Local Dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Jake the Cook, V Greenlee, Two Daddy Jazz Hands from Mouse Toots, Some Days You're the Beetle, Some Days You're the Dong, T.O. Luter, Thomas Adams, Stephanie Booth, Ryan Abbey, Rosemary Prem, Ron Hayden, Robert Savat, Richard Ryan Mochelle, Rachel Vasquez, I hope something good happens to you today. Yes, you. Crowther, Alley Oopsie Not To Be Confused With Oopsie, Lane Kiffin Is A Ho, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Starr Joshua Damien and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClaws, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chiss Alfridge The Bull-Headed Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Finelli, Jonathan Kay, Pearl Null, Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin The Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs1012, Scotty Oates, Byrotron95, Happy 13th Birthday Danny, Dance break. Speaku, the Bracken system in its home world ran. Simply Tony, it will always be Finley's work hole to me if you know, you know. Gabrielle Castellan. Whom, what, when, where, and why is what all the gronies say while listening to Midnight Burger. Nico Degallo goes great on Midnight Burgers. A drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar. Retorted. Sir Party Animal, Biro the Motherfucking Dragon, of the Shreveport the Motherfucking Dragons, Uloy Jackal, Ari Shore, you Mike Robb the Nancy Sinatra, court need to leave it alone if you want to live, must be a witch, cat with a K, Miss Shen Frizzle, Mithagrone, he has a first name, Stombenstino Mustachio, Luca for Hezekiel, Lachihuahua Brava, Adeline Peets, CC Carousel, Court the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a Milf, Scout and Fox

Gloves says the floor is lava. Red Nell hiding in a crowd of Bethany's to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire. Kurt Omsky. Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulcet Deleche Studios presents Under the Truskin Sun. Get out of my booth. Bug, Propagator, I hardly know her. Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes. Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlisle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino and Her Hand-Me-Down Frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kaidalo Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondela Stover, Pikeman Stover's Wife, Alexander the Boss, Skrizzles, Thwap, Giddy Giddy Giddy, The Firekeeper, The End Is Nigh, Jeremiah the Cancelled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Faye, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli, Wolf, Brandy Gunter, Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade's Shortsword, Forget Normal, a damn, CJ Johnson, a dragon sitting on its hoard of dice, Wendell Whitaker, Chumbo Wumbo, Pikachu, Smivey, Glowbed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Ban Mi Hung, The Soup Witch, Fettuccine Alfredo, Cowboy and Sasquatch, Hans the Bethany's, Pebbles, VV, Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip Your Dad Is Not Your Dad, Nick Borough, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness Mr. Hamilton Underfoot Kitty I, and accomplice Princess Penelope, the Marcioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, Our Ass Is In The Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slev of Bahamut, Omi Gracie, Dalton jenkins cat holtz cal art and the tired the true mega mike fred and george lavinia ava maddox jr liza worth cass williams christy yeet my boy 46 tool shed 2 and l marie catastrophe the image collector blended music definitely not kevin sitting squirrel patricia e melt missed everyone a round of yorgs on the house red the gray the silver crow couch potato alex neverchild Dr. Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist Kiboko Dunord Lil Kev, Kosamine, Theodrax Joey B, Lucas Barding Got His Dad to Listen to Midnight Burger Little Debbie Cupcake, Taryn Says Hey, Oreos are Rabbit Sandalwood Mountain Offers Peace for Your Soul Whimsical Fuckery, Megan with an H Hey, It's Warranty Lady Look, I've been thinking, maybe it'd be best if we You know, saw other people for a bit I need more. Patricia the Time Lord Kashak the Lizard Wizard Casts Jelly Bones

Mango Connoisseur, Pretty Bug and The Quirky Jester, The Big Moose is Loose Aboot the Hoose, That Old Glory Coal, Janelle Meownaze Cat Butler, O'Sheen Liu, Alex Berry, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile, Churro Cat the Sun God, Eliza Travels the Universe, Lindsay Bowen the Goddamn Podcast Lawyer, Alex Spence, Dr. D. Birdclaw Squether and Mrs. Dubaptaway Birdclaw Squether want to say hello to the whole Squether family. I Lost My Galaxy Britches in a Game of Pants Darts, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Dirk Adub, Gloria's Ex-Girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, Most Likely Cass, James Harlow is Still Sad About Missing Burger Con, Jasmine James, Dr. Caber Ant, also known as Omni, Thanks Waffle Chateau, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Zephyr and the Witch's Den, Anatha, Zendria, Jennifer Calkins, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Code 666, oh my god, my dad found out about my Patreon name. Princess Leia, Fish in a Bag, September, previously observed in the pattern. Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubenesque Parrot. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubenesque Parrot. Stuck in a Pit of Skittles, Sea Squatch, Deflater Mouse, Tony P. Akarski, Adrian R., The Devil from Table 12, Javier, Crazy Thadley, Cremulous is just happy to be here. The Twisted Twigster. Real Housewives of Seagius. Faye Queen. Oopchnart the Probability Demolition Expert. Showtime. For My Mother. CCTX girl 6823 waiting on the diner. Nicole Studioso. All of my planes are shuttles. K the Flying Penguin would like everyone to know that penguins are not native to Greenland. No, not even flying ones. Truck Stop Sandwich. Indigo Escargot. Love My Captain. Joe Mauma. Wandering Biscuit. Castrip. aims affection for internet protection retro mg night script widget the world watcher wearing a waistcoat and wig lana banana meatball lana banana meatball utrid and rose's viking void vitals fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism yeah not sure what i'm doing river brown senior deuce scullacy warped writer tim nacy ruben clamso turwin hugh the mini mungo morgan brockman Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Bulb, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme and Queen Lancaster, Bolivar Snagnasty, The One True Cheap Con, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck, Ho-ho, ma-ma-ma, Glorbnar 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Dooser now identifies as Roman Durge, The Other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May. Minsky Enterprises is excited to announce that Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC, has been named its exclusive provider of logistics services. Silly Willy Bubblebutt, Sierra Not From Arkansas, Z-Go! Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tubiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Floof Lost in Time, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mount Up!

Wandering Scholar Pringle Over Coffee Mad Yogi Eileen A Cat Named M Petito Pato Palace Big Mo Demonic Narwhal 8 I am Annie I live forever in every moment I've existed I swear to every star in the cosmos I never forgot it was a gift The Stone Fox Trisha Schaefer says Ew, David, that is not a taco Sylvia Juicetin Pepitos Roar Hauer Henry the Goose Jennifer Baumer Ninja Grim Reaper Miles Nelson I am a bomb until I think of something better to do Eber Ritwards, Hotshot Huntley, Momo's Mama, Space Mormon Says What, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr. Trigvie, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Mar, Vaughn Vega, Dixie Dinah, 7,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Space Pony, Re-Vibe, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Dusty Ventures and his pilot, Uzi, Drifting Through Space, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's line cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, the gabbiest painter and her bird of fire, Wondering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Q-Del, Pharrell, Emily with two Es, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk, Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble, Jackie Wavelet, Yayoi Gagarin, Dee Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poovy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Steelo, Bumbling Lilybee, Buffy's Daughter, A Quick Pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup. I should get like a samovar, right? You remember those from like a Chekhov play? Like it's condensed hot tea. Panda, Curtis Lelig, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stolz, Dalen Y, Shadow Rapture, Yet Another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, Our Craft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, The Ornamental Hermit, Jay to the Lynn, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Imsen, What the Hell, Cineplex, and All the Black People in North Carolina, Just Rachel, Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava's Cigarette Ash, Hugh Biftit, A-Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Scav with Comtax, The Shape-Shifting Sad Girl and Her Girlfriend Say, Joe, You've Done It Again, Pipless Skin and DePippi Pond, Sarah Nicole, The Kells Fights with the Bethanies, Angry Leafs Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Source Decay, Descendant of the Spweather Catfish Whisperer, Vagabond Mary, Randy's Amigo, Bold Mouse, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Nauman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Dangers, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Naya Nix Reno, Frankinator, Nordlebash, Jordan, Arwen X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefeweizen, Monica and Mason K. In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of Jameses, a trifecta of Tonys, one of whom still wants to be Leif, but sadly, no Bethany's.

Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Arianne Can't Manage Normal, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nihilist, Dr. Dr. B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, Growing Into My Farm Boots, Superbeth Becomes an RN, Alongside My Bootstup Farm Friend, Geneva Boss, Arkansan, Not Ark and Sawyer, Brothers of the Cosign, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen, Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, Captain Scott, Letty Lou, He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard. Dave B, Nobby, Your Friendly Neighborhood Pathologist, Going to be Lit, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Externally Screaming, But Bethany, I Made Biscuits, Scebo and Fuzzle McBumpernitz, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senatis Teleporting, BRB. The Shanes are not organized enough for a war, but there is a growing number of us and it is concerning. Definitely not an android, seriously I'm not. The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, The Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana Bobena, Fifi Fofena, Queen Aubrey and Drake, Drake May, May Lover, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffleupagoose, Dameron the Space Goblin, I So Pale, Exquisite Whimsy, I am Lord Zoltan, hear me roar, Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Adair will join. My cat's name is Beef. Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy. Victor Casados. Emily Schmemely. Work for Melvis. Boho go bye-bye for Jojo Pogo. That's a no-go, bro. Cody Monster. Collided Mind. Miss Nixie. Baby Baton Lee. Charlie Rudel. Kyle Perino. AK. Sid the Sloth on a Bike. Priya Gandhi. The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the Creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Lil Stevie Pie. Green Mountain Hermit. Deaf, allergic to Bethany Stew, Two Polar Cat, Carl, The Teller of Dad Jokes, Skylab's Multidimensional Multiphasic Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse, Verde Soul, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngin, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Local Marsh Hag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Pyro's Calling, The Wizard's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, and introducing Reese C. Pontiff as the 36th Doctor. Too many ends. Pamela Rose Elchira, then Steena says, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Catbird, Countess of Carbine.

Robin, Slappy the Squirrel, Luminous Elk, Rhodian Caution, Love is for the Nierds, Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash on the surviving crew, It's just Tyson now, Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank, Quote says, Joe is the writer's room, Daniel Garland, Awkward Heretic, Devin7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Northerly Kay, Lost Bassan, you know, the moon prison outside the triad, Kim Sell, Silly Goose, Honk Honk, Ad Matha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, It's Just Steve, RuPaul Atreides, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Deidre, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, Nosaguaro, Ben Bar, Stand Clear of the Closing Doors, Please, Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassanasan, Virestria, Theosis the Theologian-ish, Why is my daughter so feral? Send help. Fernwood Gal. Nellie G. Twinkle Tots. Gemini Sky. Phantom's Moms. Callison. Hornswoglin' Daniel Arthur. It's a, it's a fucking dog rapture. King Humble. We'd better ask Dave. Wind Chimes for Safety. Cameron Winterborn Welsh. Fireball XL5. Mackenzie Duna. Alexica Habanera. Code Stranger. One betty bet. Ha ha ha ha ha. Matt N. Alfie Revenurum. Momo Onikiki, Frelp, M. Lin, Feed My Fish, J.R.R. on SFP, Lahari, J.Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws, Diet Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Buckaboo, Snorts McGorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hit It, Had It, Head It, Hot It, Hud It, Bradley Ashby, Peter, William Dyer, Vicky Hebert, Brad Minear, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Lily of the Planetary Brain, Crazed Bear, Dr. Lattice Trash Angel action figures recalled after flared bass causes moral panic. Which craft is the crafty lizard doing today? Noble Barrel, Andy Croft, Bippity Boppity Boom, Megan the Meg Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Wren, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Watcher, That Homeless Guy Who Saw the Diner Disappear from Rogers and Gave Up Booze, Mary Kirby, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Belladonna, First of Her Name, Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberti, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, McClump, Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Dome Age, Hayward's Finest, Garen Elizondo, To my little, you'll always be my good girl. You took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul. Till we meet again. Sir Shitsalot strikes again, damn animal. Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruisin' B. Anthony, Trick says whee!

Tibbled the First, Ellie Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, Courtney and Corey and Stephanie say hello, the Fawn Tucky Wrangler, Scram Brûlée, Yay, Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zuzanna, Celeste Yos, I'm so Antigone fun, I'm Avel's evil twin sister Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeone, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D'Anomaly, Charmé, K-On with Karma, Amanda Knock, The Wondrous Matthazaphon, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Enschuldigen, Rebecca Trossel, So Good, Many Names, God There Are, Chris from Tacoma, The Real Fairy Godmother, Sir Alphonse Suit Person, Knight of Hood's Pocket, Polished Pauldrons, Pacing Pine Paths, protecting Pocket from sneaky skullduggery, Mitzi Liu, Kelsey Holm, still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damian the goddamn Time Lawyer, Matt Mosby, Saint Foo, Harry Fishnuts, Astrono-Weeb, Mag knows the civil gnome. Welcome everybody, I'm Hydelon and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group. Starlight, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weaslaf, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q. Choi, A Bug Named Nat, C.C. Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Cockinator, Ron Was Here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Often Wrong Dan, Jess Gioia, Paul A. Johnson, Killer Odd, Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire has been secretly and poorly teaching his Dungeons and Dragons players well. Creator 67, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Debra Wales, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Rayborn, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthanomaly, Megan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and L.A., Anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, Fuck Ice, Captain Blep, Ryan, Evie Power, Terry, PJ Says What?, Amelia Lucero, et al., Fear Now Doesn't Polish the Shiny Melon, Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, The Jazz Man, Tonight at 11. Larak the Barbarianess, Hicks Bezzy Mates, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick, It's Just Blake, Alice Malice apologizes for forgetting to change their name for an entire year, but at least it was fun. Kelly Jane Dankey, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Thornis Animator, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa.

Ava, no, not that one. The one with an... Grim says, trans rights, y'all. Zaki Nat, Underwater Corvid, Spizarinctum, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Brunmai Salil, Grawlix and Terabang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Coming Soon, Dances with Burritos, Guacked and Loaded, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Myson, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R. the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Cara, Colmy Zen, Colibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, What the Chuck? Sonu Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd VanVores, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatoichi, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Jen Extranius, Dancing Dog Dreams, Trinket Coralie, and Existentially Exhausted Bean. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.