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All right, it is Mojo in the Morning Show. Shannon got some advice over the weekend. Or what would you call it? What would you say?

I guess it would be advice. I think it was more so, maybe I would call it a wake-up call. A really, really good friend of mine and I were chatting, and they said during the course of the conversation, that I need to be more confident and I was kind of taken aback by that and I asked them to explain and they said like in every single area so like not not only just as a person in general but in your career as a mom as a friend and I can't stop thinking about it now because immediately I was defensive and I was like well I am confident I'm a very confident person and as I thought about it over the weekend I'm like but I do feel like I'm in a season of life like a where I am constantly comparing everything about myself to other people and their situations like as a mom I feel like I can't compete with Lucy and Smith's dad right now as a friend I feel like I'm kind of out of the loop with my friends um I feel like I'm talented in this job but I second guess everything that i do and talk about um and i'm like is this normal or is my friend right do i lack confidence i don't know but it threw me for such a loop and i'm like maybe i'm not like i tell myself i am yeah and i know that we all have things that we're self-conscious of but that comp that conversation

that you had gave you doubts even though you were defensive I was defensive but I think that this

that this friend was right like I feel like I'm like but like the more and more I thought about it over the weekend yeah because I like I said it really threw me I'm like maybe I do need to be more confident in everything that I do and am and I I just like we always talk about comparison and if Kev were here he'd be like comparison is the thief of joy and I truly believe that yet i still i'm human and it's human nature i think to compare yourself and your situation and your talents and your capabilities to other people and i feel like i'm in a stage

of doing that a ton right now all right i gotta ask questions a couple questions um why do you compare yourself with uh your your kid's dad um just naturally like i because you guys split time

with each other and stuff yeah and i want to make sure that they're is that i wonder if that's a time at you know when they're on my weeks as they are on his weeks like i think can i say this to

you though i don't think kids need to have a good time i think they need to be parented and i think that you are an amazing parent like i really do think that and i think that they hey they could go in in i know that this is not the case with uh with your um ex disney dads would be the greatest dads in the world to have but they're not always the greatest parents yeah um you know and they

have a great dad and sure and but they he can provide them with things that i really can't and so i get down on myself about that even though i

shouldn't yeah um but i think it goes vice versa you can give them things that he yeah as their

mom yeah well moms definitely and dads you know give give their kids difference here's another thing i want to ask you i want to ask you about the radio thing because you say that you compare yourself or you don't feel confident with what you do i listen to you on the air and i feel like there are times where you, um, are like, you're the, you are definitely the go-to for, for us on a lot of things and you give confidence in that. But I also do agree with you in the fact that you, for some reason, and this is something that you've always, uh, um, done is you look and think that you're not achieving what you need to achieve. I don't think that that's a bad thing

though sometimes yeah what more is there to achieve though well i think that there's oh you

know it's it's like you're not settling you know for where you are like you're always trying to

get better and grow yeah yeah yeah for sure i guess that's one i don't know it just like i couldn't stop thinking about the conversation um what do you think provoked her to give you this um i don't we were just having like a good conversation um and it's not like you were

saying you were down on yourself or something like that okay is that a bad thing to say to

somebody please let me say this is absolutely not me fishing for a compliment i'm talking like i had some deep conversations with myself this weekend about this of like what is going on in this season of your life, Shan, like, you know, get it together and like, just be happy and confident being you and feel blessed being you and all of the things that you were given, you know, and

yeah. I, I, um, I love, um, I loved my forties, but I feel like I didn't, my forties were gone in a second. And there was something about when I left my forties and turned 50 that I sat there and I thought to myself I had 10 years of years that I probably look back on and say because usually you know it's like they talk about midlife the average person it seems like does not live to 100 yeah yeah 50s is not I don't believe midlife because you're not going to get to 100 years old 40s is kind of midlife and there's something interesting about the fact that when I turned 50 years old I said to myself where did the where did my life go yeah you know what I mean and I've had a great life I will tell you this if if at all I achieved in my life was my family I achieved greatness because that's exactly what it's like like you know that that's you know what I wanted but I do think that there is a level of stop stop always looking at what you haven't done and look

at what you have done yeah you know yeah that's such good advice I think too I also am in like a I keep using the word season, but I'm in a season of my life where I am constantly being thrown into situations where I'm meeting new people. Like Lucy started a new school. Smith's about to start a new school. Just different work things. And whenever I'm in those situations, I always have this feeling of where do I fit in this group of people? And that causes you to kind of like think about all of this stuff, too. So I think I'm on overdrive.

I think people think that, too. I think a lot of people do. And this is a good conversation to have because there's so many people that honestly, you know, I think we all lack confidence. You know what I mean? Like the people that have the biggest confidence probably are struggling in some area of their life. Michaela, what's going on? It's Mojo in the morning. What are your thoughts on what Shannon's talking about? Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. I'm like in a whole different season too. Like I've had kids, I had a baby when I was 18 and I had kids late in life now. So I'm postpartum like with an eight month old. And like one of the biggest things that I've been like a super downfall on myself and like what a therapist has said to me and other friends have said is if you heard a friend talking to you, talking to the way you're talking about yourself to someone else, what would you say? So the way that you're speaking about yourself matters just as much as like what you're providing and what you're doing, because that also can come to fruition. So if you're like, I'm not confident, then you're not going to be confident. Yeah. Because you're like internalizing it and making it happen.

Yeah, I've heard somebody, somebody said that to me, but put it in the words of like Lucy, if you heard your daughter speaking about herself the way, and that hits me so hard.

Well, I think your kids always come into play with a lot of things. Cause you're like, what would I do if my kids were in this? That happens in a lot of relationships. If my son or daughter was in this relationship, what would I say to them? What's going on, Heather? How you doing good how are you this morning uh we're i'm confident actually i'm not i'm not really confident i'm faking the confidence level go ahead what do you want to say well to be honest

i think a lot of it has to do with perimenopause i said when i started

perimenopause I started questioning everything and it's just kind of brought me down for a long time then it didn't help that like as you get older your body starts changing and you can't do certain things and you have to try to reinvent yourself and it's a little difficult at times when

you've always been a certain person can I say something about perimenopause or menopause oh I can't wait i as a man he's got a smile in his face i feel left out that i i have not experienced menopause i'm just kidding i do not want to i feel for you guys because i i've seen you know menopause through the eyes of my wife and chelsea's handled you know it you know an amazing way but i'm gonna say this to you i am so happy i've got a ding-a-ling oh gosh i am scared heather

i don't want to have a lie i'm jealous of you all right listen i get it for the first time ever

i'm telling you that what your what your bodies feel like and what you guys you know are going through i don't get it man why is god like you guys gave birth to babies god should be

more rewarding of you for that you know yeah but it's a season of slight confusion and trying to find your place because it's almost like a part of you dies when you enter perimenopause and like just trying to i think it's normal to question yourself but don't go down a rabbit hole too much because you do have to remind yourself look at what you have right what you've done look at what you've created like you're an amazing human being and you just have to remember that yeah um heather

thank you for the call i appreciate it uh heather heather real quick would you be upset with a person if they said that to you that you lack confidence and they were just trying to pump you

up honestly yeah a little bit but no because right now i do feel like i lack confidence yeah i i've gone through a whole change and i'm not sure where i fit at the moment yeah i i think that uh you know

you went back to kev's always talking about comparison is the thief of joy i think also social media has kind of ruined us like before social media comparison you had nothing to compare things to yeah except for yep seeing it face to face yeah ben what's going on ben hey good morning

guys hi morning first off shannon i think you're doing great um but i just texted in uh on this conversation i feel is really missing kev because he would have said something really random that would have like made you question life but then right back down and inspired you at the same time

inspirational so true here's what i'm gonna do since kev's not here and i know we're guaranteed human i'm doing ai kev i'm going i'm going i'm going to claude and i'm gonna ask claude for something that shannon needs her right now but um all right uh thank you ben i appreciate it yeah happy monday guys happy monday appreciate it by the way i love that we're all like happy monday monday i would like to tell you that that friend of yours is a wise person because i really do think it brought a great conversation yeah i mean it's a good it's a good check it's a good

check it is yeah and honestly i and i'm not saying i'm mad at this person by any means i really

appreciated it it just caused me to think a lot and i think it's also for you the listeners when you're listening to this live right now or podcast if it's live to you at that time it's something to sit there and ask yourself, you know, how confident am I with where I am right now? And, you know, what can I do to make myself feel like I'm achieving what I need

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