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All right, it's Mojo on the Morning Show. It is time now for Am I the A-Hole?

So my son got into his dream college, but I hid the acceptance letter from him, and now he's going to community college. Am I wrong for doing this? Why would you do that as a mom?

You would think that would be the most exciting thing in the world. We're going to give her an alias of Christine. That's not her name, but we're going to give you that alias. So anytime I talk to you and say Christine, you'll know that that's your name. Why would you not tell your son that he got into his dream college?

Well, you know, I feel really bad about this, but it's too expensive for us. And he really didn't get that much financial aid, so I didn't think it would be possible.

Oh, my God. But for him to just know that he got in would be such a huge deal.

So what does he think? He thinks that he didn't get into any of the schools that he wanted to go to?

Well, this one, he doesn't know about this one. This is the one I hid from him.

So did he get into some schools?

Yeah, yeah, he got into this one.

But he's decided, what, to do community college for a year or so until he can reapply?

Yeah, he's going to do it for at least a year. I hope two years, but he'll stay in community college for right now.

But so he's good. This doesn't even make sense to me because then he's going to do a year in community college with the hope of reapplying. And this is just going to happen again and again.

Will he find out, you think, if he reapplies? Will the schools?

I don't know, but I just were you embarrassed to tell him, like, hey, you got in this. That's such a huge deal and such a huge accomplishment. But unfortunately, we can't afford this right now.

Yeah, with that. But also, I don't want him to move away. I think that's it, too. Oh, wow.

I had sympathy, but now I don't. Am I the a-hole? What are your thoughts? Michelle wants to comment. Michelle, what's up?

Oh, my gosh. I'm a mom of 10 kids, and I am so grossed out by what she did. First of all, she committed a federal crime by opening his mail and not giving it to him. and to cheat him out of the excitement of being accepted to where he wanted to go. I understand financial concerns, and we have had to, like, when my daughter wanted to go away to Oakland, she wanted to stay on campus, and I told her at this time we just can't do on campus.

have to make choices but that was not the right one that was so not fair of her wait can i stop

for uh one second here um uh michelle you have 10 kids how do you have 10 kids what is going on in that family with how can you afford i would at that point i would be the one living on campus

and letting my daughter stay at home is it a blended family or are those all your kids no they're all our kids and i mean we've had kids going to michigan michigan state main state oakland university man for the kids i just also think and and you said this you said

this i think it's a really important lesson to learn that like to be able to say we can't afford it i but but for him to know that like he was he he accomplished an acceptance is huge i think back to when i was applying to school there was one school that i got into and my mom had that conversation with me unless you get scholarships we can't afford to send you here unless you want to take out you know this amount of student loans but the decision is yours yeah at this point if you want to take that on we're not going to be able to pay for you know this chunk of this but the decision is yours and i i think that's just such an important decision to have or to make

dennis am i the a-hole what do you think about alias christine here i think she's a terrible

mom for what she's doing to her kid yeah i would i got six kids and i would never even i couldn't even imagine she to make it out of their education like that by the way stop again we went from 10

kids the six kids do we have the most fertile listenership in the world uh yeah me and my wife

had to get her tubes tied just so she could stop yeah you stop yes can you keep your hands off of

her dennis how do you i don't know how how i could afford three kids going to college how are you

going to afford six kids in college i mean it's rough but like we we our kids are young and like we talk to our kids right now about their futures you know like i got all like all of my daughters do competitive cheerleading because there's a chance of a scholarship for that i got a daughter that does competitive swim because there's a chance for scholarship all my kids get like actually right now all my kids are all a students because we talk to our kids and prepare them and we let them know at a young age like look you know you see the financial struggles that we have and we want you to have a better life so we need you to get a better education so that way you have a good opportunity at getting a scholarship to the school that you want to go to you know and i feel like i feel like where this lady went wrong with what she did is let her kid know and then let him make that decision right because at that age he has the chance to go and get his own financial aid from the school yeah yes i get that puts him in debt but why not give him the dream

college that he wants if that's what he wants um great advice and i'd love to ask this question and I kind of threw it out there a little bit ago, but I haven't gotten the answer. Will he ever find out about her lie when he reapplies to the school that is his dream college? Miranda, am I the a-hole? Hi, what are your thoughts on Christine?

Hi, I do think that it's not about her. She needs to give her son the opportunity to make his own decision, and I do think that it's more about what she doesn't want to send him off to college.

Yeah, I agree with you. I don't think that it sounds like this is just pure the financial of this.

Which I think every mom feels.

Christine, you mentioned this in part at the end, but I think it's more so that you're afraid of him going away, aren't you?

Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a school that's far away, and I just did not want him to go down south like that.

Okay, so it was an out-of-state school then. Cody, what's up? It's Mojo in the Morning.

Hey, Mojo, continue with the fertility here. I got four kids, all young, but I just want to make sure we're not shaming anybody here. She's kind of a devouring mother. It's more so for her, but she's just got to let the kid, I don't want to say get hurt with the finances, but we've got to put the kid first in this instance.

You know, it's an interesting thing. I don't want to shame her for what she did, even though I don't agree with what she did. I think that you don't know other people's financial pain. And I do think that there's something to that. You know, there's something to the fact that it's tough. This is a very, very tough thing when you're trying to raise your kids and you're trying to put food on the table to decide what to do. And sometimes, you know, being honest is probably the best thing to do. But you don't want to be that way because you don't you feel like a failure as a parent.

For sure.

Sure, but I think age plays a huge factor in the mindset in this conversation. At 18 years old, at this point, I'm not necessarily making decisions for your life. I'm making decisions with you for your life. And she removed his ability to be a part of the conversation of how to direct his own life. And that's the problem, I feel like.

Kelly works for a university. Do you have any clue? Will he find out that mom did this?

Yes, he will. Because a lot of universities, in fact, most of the universities, my university, does decisions online. And he can go and check online the decisions. And if the university that he's applied to right now and gotten into is not online now, when he reapplies, they will have his previous decisions. And so he will find out, and she is going to ruin this relationship with her son.

Yeah, I was wondering that, too, because I feel like everything's on like a portal.

now you know what i mean it is yeah you're correct shannon you're absolutely correct

man it's it's this is a scary thing to see take place i mean you you think that he is upset about not getting in he's gonna be more upset knowing that his mom didn't let him get in does that does

what's her name christine christine does that changes things for you knowing that he could

potentially find this out online oh yeah yes it does i mean i feel really bad and yes i i'm

worried about him finding out um stacy wants to say something to you what's that stacy

hello hi stace hi i just wanted to really quickly make a comment my son about three years ago was under suicide watch. And I didn't think that he was going to be going off to college. And last year, he decided out of the blue that he wanted to go to a college in Orlando, Florida. And he's my baby. And it was heartbreaking for me to let him go. But I also, as a mom, knew that I raised him to a point that I had to let him fly out of the nest. It was the best decision that we both made together. And yeah, it's $100,000 for a two-year program. But guess what? He knows that He's in financially for half of it. And on top of it, I didn't want him to go, but I knew he had to. So I think as parents, we need to understand that we are raising our kids to fly and to succeed and win in this world. He's got to give them that chance.

He's doing better. He's in a better place, Stacey.

Oh, my God. He is thriving because of the fact that he made that decision on his own.

Good. That's great to hear. That's awesome. Stephanie, from the child's perspective on this one, what did you want to say?

yeah so i actually applied to colleges four years ago and i really wanted to apply to ivy leagues but my parents didn't let me because of one the finances and two they didn't want to let me go that far and as a child of parents who didn't let me apply i feel like i hold some regret towards

them like even if they regret or resentment which is is resentment probably the better word

yeah resentment is probably the better word i i think like they if they had let me apply i know that i would have gone there because of the finances but it would have been nice knowing

that i got it you know is it something that you think that will be very very tough for you to let

go i think so i think like i'm in med school now and it's great but i think that going to an id

league is an experience of its own you know so yeah wow you're a smart kid ivy league and med school um stephanie thank you for the call christine i think that you have to rethink what you did before it becomes too late especially with kids getting ready to go back to school as his friends are starting to pack up and leave now you're going to have to deal with the fact that if he ever does find out about this this will be a tough one to get over

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