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this is the bishop statement at bishop state community college we want you to hear what our students educators and business leaders have to say my name is patrick petway and i am getting

my associates of science and general education with an emphasis in business administration. To me, it was a no-brainer when you go out here and you're looking for funding to go back to college as a 40-year-old man. I got six people in my household. The extra money just doesn't just grow out of trees. For me to be able to be accepted through FAFSA and to have Bishop State paid for all of my tuition, not only that, but the curriculums, you know, they make it so easy to understand on their website. Like I said, I'm a 40-year-old man, so I don't use technology too much, but it was very understandable where I needed to go. It was extremely fast. These past two years, things have just moved in a total different type of way. It's like its own moving entity to see things manifest the way that they do. Ready to make your own

Bishop statement? Visit bishop.edu today and start building your tomorrow at Bishop State Community

College. Right now, it's time for Am I the A-Hole on the Mojo in the Morning Show. You can send us a message through the talkback mic on the iHeartRadio app. Just click on the little microphone on the iHeartRadio app listening to us on channel 955, 104.5 SNX or 92.5 KISS FM.

Hey, guys. It's Carlos. So my wife and I keep planning date nights, and this time my parents came along. I invited them, but my wife didn't know, and I kind of keep doing this, but it's my family, So I thought, you know, they can come along. I can invite them to dinner if I want to. But she's mad. I keep doing this. I've invited other people. But I just want to spend time with other people, too. It's more fun with a lot of people. But my wife is upset for doing this and is saying she wants to be alone with me. And it's not the case in my eyes, you know. Am I the a-hole? Yes.

Yeah. I say so, too.

Why are you doing that, Carlos? Why are you not trying to have one-on-one time with your wife? I would ask it, not an am I the a-hole, I'd ask a therapist if there's issues with you having intimacy with your spouse.

Why are we going so far?

Well, because he says he keeps doing it. He's like, yeah, one time I invited my parents. Well, it sounds to me like it's more than one time he's inviting not only his parents but other people. Carlos is on with us. Let's ask him. Carlos, are you there?

Yeah, I'm here.

So, Carlos, what are you doing, man? You're saying to your wife, I'm taking you out, but then she's getting surprised by the fact that other people are going to be there with you guys?

Yeah, kind of like that. We have our intimate time at home, and we eat dinner most of the time ourselves, and we do that when we go out. I'd like it to be a group of people. It's a better conversation. It's, I don't know, it's a more fun time.

You don't like having just conversation with your wife?

Yeah, but we do that all the time at home.

But when you guys go out and you are planning on going out and you're, okay, we're going to go to wherever Olive Garden for dinner tonight. Do you make it clear that there are other people that are joining or is that sprung on her at the last? Like, is it a date night then that feels like it's being crashed by other people?

i mean i'll tell her hey you know let's go out to eat and uh then other people show up when we

get there i would not be cool with that now los has she mentioned to you that this isn't something

she likes oh yeah no like i can tell immediately once she sees like what she recognizes people coming to the table she is you know clearly annoyed but she's civil she has a good time too It's not like she has a bad time and pouts. She's never had a bad time.

Yeah. Now, I'm not trying to. It's just. Go ahead, finish your thought.

It's just like the surprise, I guess.

I don't want to give you a shovel, but if you know your wife isn't enjoying this, why do you keep doing it?

Well, she says she doesn't enjoy it, but then she has a great time.

Well, because she doesn't have a choice. Yeah. Yeah, what's she going to do? Just be miserable with them? I'm going to speak from experience on this one, Carlos. I've been in your boat, and I think it's honestly something that Chelsea and I still struggle with. For so many years, we would do date nights being with other couples, and we would constantly always invite other people. And we never had our one-on-one time. And I had a therapist, a marriage therapist, that told us that that was a problem that we had because it was always us with our kids or us with other people, and it was never us with us. and I think that there's an intimacy issue that you have and that's the reason why I bring this up and obviously it gets so deep right off the bat I think you've got to be careful of this if you find it more fun to have other people there and not you and your wife you've got to work on that with your wife but it's usually when we go out

not at home

but when are you together if she is expecting it to be a date and just the two of you and then all of a sudden it's four or six or eight people of course she's going to be disappointed

And when do you two just spend time with each other? In bed, having sex? Like, that was the thing. I would always want, hey, let's have sex.

Well, he said they have dinner at home together. That's great. It's not the same vibe or excitement as it is to go out and get dinner.

Be taken on a date.

Yeah.

Liz wants to make a comment here. Am I the a-hole? Is Carlos an a-hole?

I think he's a partial a-hole because I'm the same way where I like to go out with friends and family instead of just my boyfriend because I think it's more fun. but you have to let her know before you guys get there because that's just ridiculous.

But then she won't go. But then that's an issue.

If you know that she doesn't want to go because it's not what she was looking forward to, that's an issue.

But it's like an anxiety thing. She says no, but she has a great time.

So you're saying that she gets anxiety and she knows she's got other people that are going to be there, so you just spring them on her. Maybe that's why she's got anxiety. Surprise.

But also, maybe that's something you do not every time.

Yeah.

Once in a while, I feel like it's funny.

If I tell her it's going to be a group of us, then she's like, oh, I don't want to go, you know. But if I don't tell her, she'll, you know, pout for a few seconds. But then she has a good time. We have a drink. And it's good. It's all fun.

Let's go to Courtney next. Am I the a-hole, Courtney? What do you think?

100%. I think after the first sentence, I thought he was a butthead. I just think it's not nice to do to your wife and for you to say that it's more fun to be with other people and you get together and eat at home all the time. That's supposed to be your special one-on-one time. And I think if you don't have something to talk about, then that's probably a deeper issue in your relationship.

No, it's not that we don't have anything to talk about. We have great conversation at home and everything like that. And even when we go out with other people, but it, like I said, it's more to protect her from having that, like, no, I don't want to go feeling. And we just don't end up going.

Well, does, does she ever the next day or later that night when you're leaving, does she ever go, don't do that again? And then you keep doing it.

She's never really said like, don't do it again. She's mentioned like, you know, sometimes I'd like for you to tell me, but, but when they do tell her we don't end up going because she'll cancel.

Tom, what do you think? Tom, do you think Carlos is an a-hole?

Not really. I mean, but there's a middle ground. Let me ask you a question, Carlos. Does, is it mostly your family that shows up or does her family show up also?

So family, like my parents, that was, that was a one-off. Mostly it's our friends, like people we'd like to hang out with.

Yeah.

Okay.

Because I'm just curious if it's kind of even on both sides or it's just like, you know, your family.

Tom, that's actually a great point. I mean, if it's just his family, then maybe she's just got an issue with your family. But it sounds like it's everybody. Abe, what's up?

Hey, good morning, everyone. Good morning. What's up, Abe? Carlos, I just got to tell you, man, I'm from the Middle Eastern culture. And I will tell you, I have seen this far too many times. this ruins marriages in middle eastern cultures the families are so intertwined the in-laws are around all the goddamn time and you want to you you you want to avoid that at all costs i've seen this way too many times where the the man always has his parents around in fact you know just just never gives intimate time with him and the spouse and a lot of times ends up in divorce or just a very miserable marriage you got to be careful man good advice good advice i appreciate that

for sure that is that sounds like some real experience bianca says this is a form of control

is that right bianca it is it's a form of

it's a form of control like like i'm not gonna lie my parents told me all the time like oh you don't want i'm not being racist or anything like that but you don't want foreign they're controlling and you just proved it like literally you can't control her and tell her like oh i'm we're going out on a date and then next thing you know she gets there and it's people that she probably don't even want to be around and she has to just be fake i'm sorry for me i cannot be yeah i would

got up and walked away yeah interesting zach she's not gonna be fake either though like

she you can tell when she's being oh we had a good time like okay that wasn't so bad she may

have had a good time but that's not the time that she was wanting or desiring she wants to be with

you zach what's up last comment hey i just wanted to say he's an a-hole and an idiot He's sitting there talking about, you know, if I tell her before that she doesn't want to go, yeah, she wants a date with you, dog.

Oh, my God, you idiot.

Yeah. I like it. We should actually make that the new contest or new segment on the show. Am I the a-hole or the idiot? He's both, according to Zach. Take care, Zach. All right. Am I the a-hole on the Mojo in the Morning Show? More comments for Carlos. You can send them to us, text 95500, or, of course, send us a DM and tell us what your thoughts are on Facebook.

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this is the bishop statement at bishop state community college we want you to hear what our students educators and business leaders have to say i would say bishop state's like a home for

people it may not be like a four-year where you have a dorm your roommate you have a rec center but it's still a place you can go meet new people classmates put in the hallway make friends with advisors on all these teachers and everything like that it's just a place you can feel like yourself and not try to be that you don't want to be with this program i learned networking a lot We've had two dinners with heads of different companies dealing with shipping or even game design builds, dealing with AutoCAD or any 3D modeling. So really being able to meet new people or meet heads of new people has been really helpful. I don't come from a wealthy family, so four years were kind of not out the picture, but less probable for me to go to. Bishop State, with my scholarship, it cut my price in half and made it way easier for me to go to school for the same 12 credits I would go for a four-year.

Ready to make your own Bishop Statement? Visit bishop.edu today and start building your tomorrow at Bishop State Community College.