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All right, it is Mojo in the morning. It is time now for Am I the A-Hole. If you would like to be on Am I the A-Hole, just leave us a talkback on the iHeartRadio app. That's that little microphone thing that's on the iHeartRadio app. Send us whatever your Am I the A-Hole is, and we'll play it on the radio and then get you on the show.

I've been dating my boyfriend for a few years, and I'm just really nervous to tell my parents about him because I'm worried they won't approve. Am I wrong for this? He's getting really mad at me.

That's interesting. I don't know why you would not want your family to know that you're dating. Nadia, what's the reasoning? Why would your family not want you to be dating?

Oh, well, he's like outside of our culture. I'm Indian, my family's Indian, and he's American. So they just prefer, you know, they're a little bit more on the conservative and traditional side.

Okay. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking, Nadia? You sound like you're...

I'm 25.

So you're 25. Okay. And how long have you guys been dating?

Let's see. We've been dating two years. Yeah, like two years. Oh, a long time.

That's a crazy amount of time to be able to keep him secret.

I mean, yeah. I mean, they're aware that I am dating somebody. So, but it's just. Have you lied?

Have they asked if he's also Indian?

I've done everything. I mean, I've danced around it. I just, I really just, I've done everything but tell them and try to not lie. How does he feel?

Like, how does your boyfriend feel about it?

I mean, he's upset. He's getting really offended because it's like, what is, what's the holdup, you know? And so he thinks he's also getting insecure that maybe it's not just that. Maybe it's not just the parents. So it's really starting to become an issue. And I'm worried that it's really breaking down.

I, you know, I don't know what this is like for you because obviously I was, you know, I'm that white guy that basically would be dating you. Like, I, you know, I don't, my culture doesn't know. No, she said, what'd you say? He was an American dude, right? Like, what was he? Is he white? Is he white? Is he black? What is he?

He's a white American guy. White American guy. Blue eyes. Anglo-Saxon? Anglo-Saxon, yeah.

how long can somebody how can how long can somebody

how long can somebody hide somebody from their family like this? And what do you think? Is she an a-hole for not telling her family or is she just doing the right thing right now until she loves him enough that she's willing to, to come out and say,

this is what I'm going to do while we're waiting for calls is if you introduced him to your parents, what do you think the react, like the, the what's the worst reaction, I guess.

Well, I mean, I guess if they just really don't approve and they put their foot down, then that's it. Right. I mean, then you would break up with him. I don't want to say yes right off the bat, but I don't also I mean, I need to respect my parents. I know that I don't even need to. I've been brought up that way. I want to not dishonor them.

Is there a situation like where you if you did move forward with it, you would be disowned by your family? Like, is it that kind of situation?

I mean, it would cause a rift. I don't think they're the type of people. They're very loving and warm people, but they're also very passionate, and they stick by their ideals. It would cause a lot of yelling and screaming and unpleasantness, and maybe they would come around, but then also maybe it would just, maybe it's also going to be too much drama for him. That's tough. I just like our little bubble right now. But it can't be a bubble forever

Hold on Initial A wants to make a comment on this But voice disguised What's up A?

Hi So I am South Asian And I'm queer And I'm dating a white girl And my parents know about that They've met her And that was a pretty big deal in our household

Okay so they How long did it take for you To let them meet her?

I think he's dating her for like a year and a half. Wow. So also a long time.

So do you think that Nadia is an a-hole for not introducing her boyfriend to her parents? By the way, please, please, please don't swear. Because for some reason, you guys swear too much. She says she does not think he's an a-hole. Voice disguise. No, I don't need the voice disguise one. Is it Aisha?

Yes.

Hi, Aisha. Do you think that Nadia is an a-hole for not introducing her boyfriend who's not Indian to her family?

Oh, I don't. I think that there's a lot of different cultural nuances. I'm Southeast Asian, and I know that there's a lot of structural things that are different in the Western world than there are in, like, Southeast Asia. And I think that I know two years is a long time, but my sister went through the exact same thing where she was with a guy for about two and a half years before she even brought it up to my parents. But we knew and we supported her.

Yeah. So I was going to say, Nadia, do your other family members, like do you have brothers and sisters?

Yes, I do. And they're all very perfect.

Do they know about your boyfriend?

Like, my sister knows. My brother does not know.

Why? Because your brother would not hold that secret?

He's just so perfect. Like, he's never done anything wrong in his life. Oh, wow.

Wendy, am I the a-hole? Is Nadia an a-hole for keeping her boyfriend secret?

I kind of think she is. Like, if you're in a relationship for two years, I mean, you're either in or you're out, right? you're either committed to the person I'm proud to be with him or you're out. Like, in two years, you're talking about things like marriage and long-term commitment. I mean, at this point, if she's not going to tell her parents, she's kind of just leading him along. So I'm sorry. I have to vote a-hole.

All right. How long can you last doing this? I can't imagine that you can last much longer. This is a guy that I'm sure you're in love with, right?

I mean, yeah, it's been great. I mean, it's like a love story, a fairy tale. And I guess this is our, you know, our big obstacle we need to get over.

Is this a big thing? I did not realize that. I know in certain cultures, like certain Middle Eastern cultures, that this is something that you can't do. But in the Indian culture, I did not realize that this was a big deal. Courtney, hi. Hey, Courtney.

It just hit me. What? She an Indian dating a pilgrim.

No. Kelsey hello hi hi hi how is everyone how you doing good

the last caller said she's an a-hole what do you think um i don't think she's an a-hole um i was kind of in a similar situation but more in the religious aspect i grew up jehovah's witness so they're very big on marrying within the religion but when i met my now husband um i raised hell just to kind of be with him it was one of those things where it's like i'm gonna go you're either gonna have a relationship with me or not and a lot of parents in that religion shun or like disown their family member but i was very scared yet grateful that my family kind of pulled through that's good it still makes me emotional oh my gosh i can hear it in your voice

that's uh love is what we're fighting for oh absolutely so she's really committed to him

then i think that the yelling the screaming it could be a good thing and it could open up a resolution that can please her man and her family that's a good call good call on that one what's

up pete how you doing hey good how you doing good pete what's your thoughts am i the a-hole

okay listen no you're not not at all see now here's the thing if her parents really care about her and how she feels she shouldn't be able to afraid to tell them anything like it's not the 1920s it's 2025 i mean and i if i were if i were her boyfriend currently i would personally leave her because what else you're gonna have to what else is she gonna have to

keep from her parents nadia are you ever worried of losing him oh i mean absolutely because i can understand him getting impatient and insecure and feeling offended like you know i'm hiding in like a secret his family is uh friendly with you yes they're very friendly so that's also an imbalance because i've met them they're accepting so he doesn't understand why they wouldn't be

accepting of him. Darius is she an a-hole? Yes sir. And why do you say that? Because

she's wasting his brother's time knowing her parents wasn't going to accept him as or she is going to be a problem with him with her being accepted so why would she even get in a relationship

with that type of guy anyway? So you think that there's no way that she can turn her family around to like the love of her life?

If they're that passing to the point that they will cut her off and she's afraid to tell them, no, I don't think they'll understand. I don't think they'll be forgiven for that.

Wow. A lot of a-holes. Tracy, are you there?

Yes. Yeah, I think she's an a-hole also because I agree. If you're in love with somebody, you fight for that person. You're the one laying with them at night, not your family. That's between you.

Yeah, but it's your family, though. This is your, this is tough. This is your blood.

I get that, but they're not the one with you at the end of the day.

Wow, but they've been with you all this time. I think that this is a tough one. I get why she's so fearful of saying something. I'm hoping and encouraging with calls here that maybe it will give her some strength to be able to talk to her family about it. Jamie, you say not an a-hole?

Not an a-hole. and why i had dated my boyfriend that i've still been with for about four and a half years we had dated for two years before i told my parents about him and we had actually left the country for two weeks went on a sailing trip down to the british virgin islands and went rode through the hurricane hurricane ian and they didn't even know about him they didn't know where i was or anything geez why do why were you hiding him for two years um just past experiences with dating people and stuff and they were very critical about who i was dating just history and things like that and just

so it wasn't protecting that anything culturally it was just that they didn't like the guys that

you were with before and you kept that quiet yeah i wanted to make sure we were solid with ourselves first and make sure we had a good good foundation before i brought them in yeah uh do you

think nadia that your boyfriend will last much longer or do you think it's time for you to say

something um i mean i hope he can hang on much longer but i can tell that it's getting to that make or break time and it's either i have to confront my parents or i have to confront him and our relationship for sure who are you more worried to lose oh man i don't know i mean i mean like you were saying like yeah my family's been there through thick and thin for me they've done so much for me so i feel like i owe them like being disciplined um but man i mean i mean gosh it's at the cost of the love of my life i don't know i feel like this

is the make or break point because two years is a long time you don't want to you know take any more steps forward without getting your family's blessing and you could be very pleasantly surprised

let us know what you do okay we're going to keep in contact with you and lydia we'll uh talk to you more about that okay oh wow yeah sure thank you we want to know what you end up doing actually

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