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Time now here on Mojo in the Morning for Am I the A-Hole? And this is something that's easy for you to do if you would like to be on Am I the A-Hole? It's where you can tell us what's going on in your life that you got a little bit of a worry that you might get called out for. And then we'll bring it to the air and we'll open it up to our listeners as well as us for a little piece of advice. You may get called an A-Hole, but please don't say the full word. because we can't do that on our radio show this week's am i the a-hole hi so i turned 30 this

year and if my boyfriend doesn't propose to me by the end of the year i'm breaking up with him

wow that just seems pretty cut and dry turning 30 this year and if boyfriend will not propose by the end of the year he's got an ultimatum oh she's breaking up with him uh how long her name is angie hi angie hey how long have you guys been together like four years okay that's a good amount of time uh did you tell him this or is this just something that you know for yourself that if he doesn't do this like does he have an ultimatum on his hands or is this just your time frame

yeah no he knows i've been very clear oh wow so you guys have talked about getting engaged in the

in you know over the past couple of years or months yeah i mean like we talk about marriage

um he said that he wanted to propose for like a year now and i'm just like i'm tired of no accent you know have you gone ring shopping well no but i'm not doing that like he needs to do that oh so you don't want to say so on what

your ring is going to be you you're going to let him go do it but you don't even know because i I would think that nowadays guys pretty much are going to bring their girl with just to at least get an idea.

Yeah. So he's not even thinking about this. Okay, so he knows.

Is this like, are you happy in a relationship? Is this the only deal breaker for you?

I'm very happy, but this turns me off. You know, like if you want something, get it, you know?

I think your situation is a little different because you guys have talked about getting engaged. so it's definitely a thought it's like it's not like he's not interested in getting married or committing that way or as i know we've talked to couples before who that's not even a topic of conversation i just wonder why if he's but if he's if he's been saying for a year now that he

wants to and it hasn't happened what's the i have a different thought and i'm gonna tell you my thought when we call it when

comes to am I the a-hole I think if you were to have said to us I want to get married by the end of the year or get engaged to by the end of the year and if I don't get engaged to by the end of the year then I'm going to break up if you would have said when I asked the question does he know that no he doesn't know that but that's just in my head I wouldn't say you're an a-hole I think the fact that you told him that he has to do it is an ultimatum and I think that no matter you guys been together for four years or one year i think the problem with that is you just took away the sincerity or the the the him wanting to do it now you made it you need to do it i actually agree with

you and the the thing that i hate about ultimatums that have been vocalized is that now if i were you angie i would get a little nervous that he's he's doing it because he feels like he has to not

because he actually wants to and you know what else shannon i think that it will come up one time or two or four or 28 in their relationship something to be resentful over yeah yeah i mean

you want the you want the relationship you want the relationship to progress naturally you don't want to force somebody into becoming somebody that they're not that's a whole nother thing

that being said if i've been in a relationship for four years and we've talked about getting engaged and we've looked at rings on pinterest or whatever i'm also going why hasn't he in the back of my head as a as a woman as a woman i know how i would feel about that and i'd be going why

why not yet uh gill what's up am i the a-hole is angie and a-hole morning mojo on the team um

partial partially the a-hole because marriage is about compromise so it's not going to be the way you want it to be all the time, and you have to grow and understand that and just know that if she gives him an ultimatum, Shannon kind of stole my thunder, if she gives him the ultimatum, she's going to make him do it before he is totally, totally ready, and it's going to be downhill from that point. So I think she should exercise a little bit more patience with him, communicate with him and let him know how important it is, and then go with him for the rings because, guys, You got to spell it out for him. So don't say, I showed you a ring on Pinterest. You make it happen, buddy. No, hey, honey, let's go ring shopping and then show him what you want. So sometimes you have to lead us, but still, you know, give us direction, and then we'll take it from there. I agree with you, Gil. You get that ring on your finger physically, and he sees it, and you light up, now the wheels are turning. The ball is going to be rolling the way you want it to be.

I agree with you on the case of bring her in to go look at the rings, Don't just show a picture because there'll be some other complaint that will come up about the ring. But I don't like the idea that she told him that by the end of the year he's got to do this thing. I just think that he's going to feel like he was forced into it. Amanda, what's up?

Hi, good morning. I think she is not the a-hole because...

No, I'm saying we're not worried about him being the a-hole. Is she the a-hole?

No, she's not. No, she's not. If you already set up, like, a conversation with your person and you said, this is how long I'm willing to be in a relationship before I see it moving forward or before we take the steps, then that's your own boundary. Why you just need to know the relationship is going somewhere. It's not clear to string someone along by saying, oh, I want to, but I, you know.

What do you think about her telling him, though, that that's what she wants him to do?

well i that's what i told my husband that i had a set time frame in mind and if it didn't happen and we weren't pursuing each other or going further in our relationship then we would what

were we doing so you told him he had to do this and does he ever use that against you in any kind

of court of law no not at all no no no because i had a time frame that like i wanted to spend with my partner before we took steps into furthering our relationship. And that was just something that I had in mind and he had known from the beginning. How long have you guys been together? Eight years.

Okay. And when did, when did you give him the ultimatum and what was it?

It wasn't like an ultimatum. It was more of like a, this is my timeframe that I think is acceptable. And it started to come up on that timeframe of, I don't want to waste more time if it's not going to go anywhere. And I already knew I wanted marriage and he knew, and we both wanted the same thing. It just wasn't happening.

And I think that there's ways to get that from them without giving, like, the actual date. Like, I think you know who are the marrying type and you know who aren't. And if the guy's not an acting type of guy, if he's an inaction kind of guy, do you really want to marry that?

like honestly i agree i don't know if you want to be in that relationship what's up mike how you doing morning how you guys doing good do you think she's an a-hole uh absolutely why'd you say that

well hang up the phone that's all years being together for four years and you're gonna leave someone because maybe they're not ready to be in that type of relationship so the basically give an ultimatum after four years and just throw all that away is to me completely wrong see i don't

i don't think that that what's that's what makes her an a-hole i don't think that the four-year part in her throwing away the relationship because she has a say in this too i think the a-hole part

in her is how she presented it to him absolutely and at the end of the day it's just a piece of

paper too so well i disagree with that but i mean it's it also some people think a covenant and you know but i i but i mike i'm gonna tell you mike are you a single guy

no i'm married as well and your wife how long did you date before you guys got engaged

uh we were together about i don't know about same time four four or five years do you think

your wife's going to be happy when she finds out that you say it's just a piece of paper

oh i've told her and plus she don't listen to the radio but i've told her many many times so

I'll just be careful throwing away a perfect person

because they don't fit your marriage timeline. I think, though, that this, though, Kev sometimes calls out the people who are the imperfect people, too. Like, I think when it comes to.

Who said this I was perfect? So the only thing that will make me perfect is if I say I'm going to marry you.

No, but I think that it's what makes her also happy, too. Like, there are some people that don't ever want to get married, and God bless them. You know what I mean? Like, that's their thing. But then there are others that that's not what they see their story being. And I think that those that don't see themselves getting married should, they should fit the same story. For sure.

I just want to say, if you already have a perfect love story and the only thing that isn't perfect is that part, then you could find that part with someone else, but everything else won't be perfect.

Yeah. I, uh, and I, listen, I agree a hundred percent. And this is one of those make or break type situations. This is either going to be a fantastic thing for her this year.

But even now, since she already said it, I'm like, she's got her. That is special.

Bruce, what's up?

Hey, what's going on? I just wanted to say, I think she the a-hole. I want to say she the a-hole, but since that's the category, I think that because a lot of people throw away their relationship and think they're about to get something new out there. But guess what? The new person that you think you want, do they want to marry you? Do they think you marriage material? But you're better off staying with what you got before you out here end up with nothing and then be having two hands empty, you know?

Isn't it amazing, all these guys that are calling up? This is unbelievable. I'm out of a relationship.

He said, a bird in the hand better than two in the bush.

That's kind of what he said. What's up, Tim? Hi. Another guy.

Yeah. Yeah, I just wanted to comment. I figure this is going to be drawn out until the last day of this year. I would hope.

I hope he takes her right to New Year's Eve.

Even if he does propose, it's going to be December 30th or December 31st.

Man, that's home. That would be the greatest moment.

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