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think mojo in the morning we got a giveaway coming up here in a second am i the a-hole also on the way we'll give away some red wings tickets coming up within the next like 10 minutes okay it's mojo in the morning show here's the question to call up with aside from medical reasoning why do you never want to have kids what is your reasoning because megan's calling this out and i want to bring up a stat before you tell your story okay yeah this one was the wildest one and any person that has children i want you to think about this you're not smart you should never had kids a stat was just put out that shows the amount of time every single year you are spending arguing and negotiating with your kids the average parent spends 67 hours a year negotiating with their kids with the majority of the negotiating happening at the dinner table to get your kids at dinner time to eat something like vegetables or something that they don't like because they think it smells or something they don't like because they think it looks crazy that's the majority of the time that they're doing it the next time is bedtime and then followed by that is the uh did you do your homework or you got to go do more homework or reading and stuff first of

all we're americans we don't negotiate with terrorists it's time negotiating with children um it's funny you know that literally added to the list of reasons and i'm joking right now i'm only bringing this up because mike and i talked about this on um the slightly messy show which you can check out on the free iHeartRadio app by searching for the More Mojo podcast. Ding, ding, ding. Oh, ding, I'm sorry. And we were talking recently about if I would be more open to having kids recently. And I said, yeah, only because I feel like I'm in the place now where I would be way more comfortable doing it myself. So just know that this is a conversation that I've been having recently. I'm not interested in having kids. That's not like a, now's my opportunity. I got to do it right now, but it's- For the sake of conversation. Right. It's less of a hard now and more of like a maybe, probably not.

That's a breaking news story. You can't just slip that in there like that and us not make it a breaking news story. But she said she does not want kids. I know she doesn't want kids, but that's the most open I've ever heard her ever be with the idea of children.

yourself right oh yeah so without a partner i'm at the point right now where it would take me so long to find somebody i would want to raise kids with that i would be out of the time period that i could have children you know what i mean yeah i don't know no you think you can meet somebody no i'm joking like a year no if you want to have kids you're not 50 years old no i'm not this is a long way to not even get to what my girlfriend this past weekend we're sitting and i was at one of um their sporting events and i i'm so grateful to have kids around me in life that i can go to these activities and be a part of them and kind of get that like kid fix without having a kid which i love i hate when my friends won't invite me to things for their kids and i'm like no like it's like i don't get to do that stuff it is fun for me and they were all sitting around and they were like we can't wait for you to be a mom because we know how much you like enjoy this and genuinely take take aside the conversation that we just sort of dived into I was like is anybody trying to have kids right now is anybody actively being like this is the world I want to introduce my kids into because I have never been more certain about this isn't the time for me to have kids not because of where I am in my life but because of where the world is and I think before it was like, no, it's going to be fine. Like everything will work out. It was me that didn't want them. And now it's like, well, I could, but I, I don't feel like the circumstances are lined up for me to actually do that. And the first thing I will say right off the bat is like the whole money thing. And I know what every parent is going to say. You're going to say, there's never enough money for kids. You're never ready for kids. And that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about like, I feel like our dollars aren't going as far and groceries are crazy. and like childcare is through the roof. And if I just don't understand how it's actually feasible to have a child in the world right now.

That's interesting. Well, first off, it's further along than you ever have been, but it's also your, you know, I think the last time we talked about this with you was maybe five years ago or something like that. And I get it. You were in your twenties at the time. Who's thinking about that? But now you are at least open to the possibility, but it's the world and the way that things are going right now that's keeping you from ever wanting to do it.

I feel like I just, like, missed every window, which is fine. Like, I'm not heartbroken about it, right? Like, this has never been, like, there are women out there, and their dream is to be a mom. And they knew they wanted to be a mom from the time they were 10. And, like, I never had that feeling. So I'm not, like, mourning the loss of, like, a door closing. It just feels like I never, it was a revolving door, and I was stuck in the spinning door.

Yeah.

Although, I will tell you this. You get into a relationship with a guy, you're going to have a kid right away. It's going to happen.

Oh, my God, why?

Because I'm pulling the Ricky Bobby thing on you right now.

Don't you put that witchcraft on me, Ricky Bobby.

I'm putting the Ricky Bobby thing on. Watch out. First time you guys have sex, boing.

I swear to God, I'm... Okay, this is so bad. I lie to every man that I sleep with about birth control because we are using multiple forms of birth control because this is staying empty. We are keeping it empty.

Been there before. Don't believe her, guys. Hey, Carissa, what's going on? Carissa, we're talking. The topic is why do you not want to have kids?

yeah so i'm 34 and i don't want kids i can barely take care of myself how am i supposed to like have a little child rely on me for at least 18 years and like echoing what megan said like why would you want to bring kids into this world right now it's it's very unpredictable and i got my tubes

removed to make sure that i oh my gosh wow i have been actively looking into it it's incredibly

difficult to do chris are you in a relationship no i'm not and it's actually really hard to find guys to date that don't want kids it's like it's a deal breaker and it's something that i like to

bring up sooner rather than later i was shocked once i started dating again at how much of a deal breaker that was for guys i thought guys would be so on board with it and they are not and i am shocked at how many guys are like adamant they want children and they want them sooner rather

than later carissa how hard was it to get your tubes uh removed did they tell you that you had

to think about it for a long time yeah yep i started asking when i was 25 and i got the surgery when i was 32 so it took me that long and it was a lot of times because doctors were like no you need to weigh like what if you meet somebody even like even my mom was like what if you meet somebody it's like that's not going to change my mind like i i don't want kids wow thank you for

the call i appreciate that yeah absolutely wow uh sarah what's up it's mojo in the morning

hi um i'm 29 and

I don't think I'm going to have kids because I don't I don't have a lot of support or the village that I feel like kids need to have. It's really just me and my husband.

Wow. So no family around? No extended family?

Not really. My parents are snowbirds, but they primarily are living in Florida. And my husband's dad is not very reliable and we don't really have anyone else.

Do you think your parents, though, would move back? Because I've seen that happen a lot where a lot of times the parents will move towards where the kids are. And I think this, you know, Chelsea and I talk about this all the time. When our kids start having kids, who knows where we'll live, you know?

Yeah. No, I got married last year and my parents barely wanted to be there for that. So I don't think that they would. Oh, wait, that's so sad.

That is kind of sad.

I also think. Not great. I also think that you can, that community starts to form. It's kind of backwards if there's no family involved when you do have kids. because you start to meet friends who have kids your kids age and that becomes your community

yeah did you find that there was because I found this from people that I've talked to a huge lack of community from the time you have a child until they hit school or those activities because I don't know if I'm ready for let's say it's five when they go to kindergarten five years of isolation

to get there yeah um i i would say that there definitely is that time period like i met i i have friends from different stages in my life but my core group of friends right now i met through

having kids yeah britney why do you think you won't have kids okay so here's the thing i was

a foster parent i am technically somewhat of a foster parent right now you're gonna hear her in the background i don't want your cup thank you um and everybody's not who i am so that's fine but we generational person man like we needed to work on ourselves my husband and i and like figure out and fix what we went through and how to be a better human before we wanted to be a better parent right and megan hit the nail on the head because i it she's two right now and let me tell you i went through a huge depression last year because i felt so isolated like you guys kept me going because it was something that I could look forward to because you guys are my friends, you know, like at least that's what it feels like and just being able to hear other people but it is very isolating having a young child and like even if you go to the park, even if you go to the gym and things like that, like you still come home and it's just the two of us, you know, until my husband gets home and then. So learning how to do that first and Megan, I'm super proud of you for saying that because it's not, it's not about the money. It's literally about how can i make this tiny human better but i needed to make myself better first for sure that's a great comment like we're still taking care of her we're still going to do whatever we need to do for this one but i don't think we want to have our own kids because i don't think that i'm ready

so but i think you do it can i tell you something i think what you're doing is amazing because i think you are taking on this child to give this child a better life knowing that eventually when you become attached you may have to give that child up i think that right there makes you a

mom already i think you are a mom for what you're doing yeah i'm a firm believer and you don't have to give birth to be a mom like the woman who is my mother did not give birth to me i totally get that um but you said something interesting like oh i thought you were my friends we are your friends by the way i i talk more openly to people who decide to spend their mornings with us than most of the people that I see on a day-to-day basis in my life. Like, we are absolutely friends.

And I appreciate you guys for that.

And she makes her friends sit on plastic.

I do.

On her couch.

I do.

Yeah, so.

That's fine. My grandma did too. I'm okay with that. I'll sit on your plastic couch.

You're just like her grandma. You're just like her grandma.

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