Muse

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Bill, why is my eye twitching? Does this mean I'm in perimenopause? Where's my phone?

Juliana, maybe we can ask an actual human.

Yes, because I have questions and I bet you do too. Like, is it normal to sleep in separate bedrooms? We do that and I still need to know why my poop's been green.

We've got actual people answering these exact questions. Listen to Bill and Juliana.

The podcast.

On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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All right, Mojo in the morning. Can I do a topic that I would like to call, call out your little effer? And this is for any parents that are listening to the show right now. I would like you to call us up and I'll share with you one in a second and tell us what was the last thing that you had to yell at your kids about? Okay. I want you to, seriously, 844 Mojo Live. Shannon, I know you probably have been yelling, Smith, Lucy, come on. Do you ever, by the way, mix up their names? I always mix up my boys' names. I don't know. Does that happen when you have a boy and a girl?

I always call Wes Smith and Smith Wes. So it's not even the kids. It's my husband and my son.

By the way, when she does this in a second and tells us she's going to call out her little effort, she may be calling out Wes. Who knows? It might happen. So Luke got himself into a little bit of trouble just recently. Chelsea and I had to, like, yell at the little effort about it. Because he did something that I don't know if this has happened to any parents whose kids have, you know, maybe a 16-year-old kid that drives your car. He lent his car, the Jeep that he drives, to one of his buddies to drive or some guy that he was, to go run an errand for him. Are you f***ing kidding me? Right. That's exactly what I had to say.

Yeah.

Look at Rory's face.

Right? Rory the lion's mascot is looking at you like, no.

so Chelsea and I were like really pissed I was actually more pissed it was one of those situations where Chelsea's usually the disciplinarian and I'm the Disney dad yeah you know and I'm the guy that just sits there and lets them get away with murder I was so pissed off because I was so worried that you know if the kid gets in an accident in the car what happens not insured right and I my insurance company could drop me all the rest of this so I am mother effing him up one side and down the other and chelsea had to like step in and then you know what pisses me off i don't know if this ever happens or happened to you when you're a kid i remember my mom used to do this with my dad did you ever remember your mom or dad stepping in and having to like side with you because your parent was yelling at you so much that's what chelsea ended up doing so i'm yelling at him and then all of a sudden chelsea's like tom it's really

not that bad i'm like what i mean she doesn't get to play that role very often i'm excited that she got to uh finally be the one that wasn't the hammer you are right yeah yeah uh it was one of

the i mean you know it's funny i am convinced that luke is doing things that he's just getting caught with now and that the other two probably did the same thing at a certain point can you

even punish him anymore like he is an adult living on his own in college yeah but you can take away

the important things cell phone you can take away the the monthly drop of money into his account

leave it away yeah and and the car he gets he gets a car he has a he has literally has a car which the whole point of him having a car was last year we didn't he didn't have a car you don't have a car up

campus at michigan state when you're a freshman and the problem is he never came back and visited us like he would never come so now with him having a car occasionally he'll come back every now and

again when you force him to yeah right yeah that's kind of the thing when i say to him hey your car

needs an oil change yeah bring it back jeff snyder just called and says that you got to bring it in uh naz what's going on it's mojo in the morning how are you happy thursday everybody happy thursday

Amen, we're almost there

So, I have an amazing daughter Who doesn't understand, like, to not eat in the bathroom Or, like, in her room And I'm skeeved out by it Homegirl had, like, a mega bag of Skittles That she keeps in her drawer And she eats them while she's on the toilet pooping While she's reading a book I love her That is eye-cognitive

That, by the way, is definitely our behavior. I don't think all of us were like, wow, you yelled at him for that? I yelled at her for that?

I didn't do anything wrong with it. I actually had to yell at both Lucy and Smith about having it, and it had to do with candy as well, because they left their bags of Halloween candy on the floor of their bedrooms. And Bo, the cute bad dog that I have, got into both of them and decided to go to town on Kit Kats and Tootsie Pops and Snickers. and gummy bears and like he he basically went trick-or-treating in my kids rooms which was so dangerous he is fine but i had to yell at them the day before yesterday because he like it was

a smorgasbord of candy to be fair though i feel like that might have been mom's fault because don't you guys all train your kids with like m&ms on the toilet you've conditioned these kids to

eating candy on the toilet by the way i never did that one but by the way my wife still trains me On how to be on the toilet. Cesar, what's up? It's Mojo in the morning. What did you have to yell at the little effer about?

Oh, my gosh. Hello, everybody. Long time, first time. Hey, Cesar's on the phone. So we have a little puppy. Her name is Minnie. And my kids are not careful with it. They step on it. The other day, the dog getting behind the couch. And they open where your legs are resting. I hurt the duck really bad.

Oh, no. By the way, I don't know anything you just said, because when you said little pub bee, what's the Disney movie where there's a Disney movie where it's like, oh, oh, oh. That's what I felt like.

The little mermaid, yeah.

What's it?

Les Poissons. No, Beauty and the Bees. Beauty and the Bees.

Caesar, what's happening?

I cut off the heads and I pull out the bones.

Cesar, call more often. You crazy man, you.

I will. I'll be trying this morning to call to get a trip to Florida. Tomorrow. I'll be trying every day. We're listening to you every day when I drop them off the kids.

We love you, man.

Call out your kids. What are your kids' names? Christian, Hannah Victoria, and Jules. 9, 6, and 3.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Listen tomorrow, last qualifier for this week and then all next week at 8 o'clock, okay?

Thank you. I love you guys. We love you too. We love you too.

Sammy, what's going on? Call out the little, I almost said the word, effort.

This little, first time, long time. Yay, Sammy's on the phone. Yeah. What? He's already being a little effort right now.

Wait, what's going on? What's happening there?

Man. Shut the fuck up. And he starts flipping me off and flipping his sister off. He's five.

Wow.

Are you serious? My ovaries are just shriveling up right now. He's absolutely insane.

Is that kid, by the way, is that kid trained? Are you not training your children?

No. He just thinks he's hilarious. He's really not.

Oh, my God. God love you. I'm making the sign of the cross for you right now.

Listen, Godspeed, right?

Please, yes. And Amanda, this is a good one. Amanda, what did you have to yell at your little effer about?

So my son's been a little effer lately a lot, and he decided to look up what a BBL is with his friend during class on a school laptop.

That's awesome. What did the teachers do?

They just sent him down to the principal, and the principal had him call me and explain what he did, and they pretty much told him, you lose recess for the...

next week um and it's it's funny two days prior to that he asked me hey mom people were talking about it in class and they're only in fifth grade and i explained to him i even told him hey there's someone at the gym that has one i'll show you next time and he still went and looked it up on the school computer with his voice i love that you were going to point out a real life example but it was educational at this point you got to teach them right yes teach your children he was

He was trying to learn. He was trying to know what it was.

I know.

It could be worse. It could be way worse than a BBL. Kim, last one here. Kim, what did you have to yell at your little effer about?

I had to yell at my little effer because after dating a guy for two weeks, she decided to get his name tattooed on her neck. Oh, wow. Oh, you win. Listen, they broke up two weeks later, so she had to get it covered up. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. That, oh, geez. But you know what's funny is even when they're 21, right? Or how old is your kid? 20, 21 years old? 21 years old. Even when they're that age, you get yelled at, kids. Just ask KP, Mama KP. All the time. Right?

Expensive lessons you had to learn.

Love it. Thank you for the call.

Bill, why is my eye twitching? Does this mean I'm in perimenopause? Where's my phone?

Juliana, maybe we can ask an actual human.

Yes, because I have questions. And I bet you do too. Like, is it normal to sleep in separate bedrooms? We do that. And I still need to know why my poop's been green.

We've got actual people answering these exact questions. Listen to Bill and Juliana.

The podcast.

On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

The World Cup is underway and it's been incredible. On our podcast, The Away End, with Daniel Alarcon and John Green, we're talking about the games that have delighted us, the teams that have inspired us, what we're loving, and what surprised us, all through the lens of being massive fans of the world's most beautiful game.

Daniel, this tournament has been magical so far. There's so much to love, and I can hardly believe the drama that the group stage brought us. And now it's time for us to talk about the teams that are left as the field is whittled down to one World Cup champion on July 19th.

Listen to The Way End with Daniel Alarcon and John Green on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I've been hearing for decades that the markets can solve climate change. Today, we have more incentives for market solutions than ever, and emissions are rising. On this season of Drilled, Carbon Cowboys, the story of three market solutions colliding in one multinational boondoggle.

You gotta give Bruce and the guys credit. They're Republican. They don't give a s**t of money.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.