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Mojo the Morning Show. Yo. Mike, driving the old ESPN vehicle to and from Grand Rapids to Toledo and to Detroit.

Na-na-na, na-na-na.

By the way, it's so much fun, isn't it, to drive another radio station's vehicle, which some people are probably going, wait a second, ESPN, but yeah, we got the sports station, right?

Yeah, and West Michigan, ESPN 961 is there. They don't have a lot of people that drive the truck there, and I needed a truck to get back and forth, and they were so gracious to let me use it. Do you actually pretend like you are somebody from ESPN when you're driving this thing? So I was at a gas station yesterday, and this guy comes up to me, and I found out his name was Ricky, but he comes up to me, and he's like, hey, do you ever hang out with the people on TV there? And without hesitation, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. I actually write for Stephen A. Smith, and I hype him up every now and then, thinking he's going to be like, you and your new owners. That's awesome.

You live for this.

Yeah, thinking he's going to be like, uh, yeah, ha, ha, ha, ha, and laugh it off. But he was dead serious. He started asking me questions. He's like, he's like, what does he, what do you do to hype him up? I'm like, well, I walk in and I tell him something and he starts giving me his normal voice. I said, that's not his real voice. You know that, right? And he goes, what? I go, yeah, he's much quieter. He's much quieter in person. But when you got to get him hyped up, you got to get him going. So he starts doing this voice and he starts talking like this. You got to hype him up. He's like, no way. He's like, what time do you got to get there? I was like, well, I'm flying out tomorrow, so I'm just driving this around. I got some stuff I got to do here. He's like, you probably came for the Michigan game, huh? And I was like, yes, that's exactly why I was here.

Elias just came so easily to you, didn't he?

So easily, yes. That's it.

My favorite is being able to drive another radio station's vehicle because then I can drive like an a-hole and nobody ever gets associated on our show with that.

No, they'll write you out to your bosses, and then your boss goes, who's driving that vehicle? And then you have to own up to it, and then you get something on your record written up here at work, and it stays with you for a while. Oh, you have to do it.

It sounds like somebody's experienced this.

I might have been running late to Mojo in the morning one morning while driving a station vehicle that was not KISS FM's, and I got ratted out on Facebook and written up, and y'all are rude.

Well, did you get caught by the red light camera? Are you speeding? What's going on?

No, it was just a person driving by who was being a little booty hole. Little bitch.

Because you can't give another driver the finger while you're in the Christmas station vehicle.

I did it. It was 5 o'clock in the morning. I am so mad about this because he had an open lane he could have. Anyways, anyways. What would you say? Speed Limited on the expressway is in Michigan. Not what the post did Speed Limited. What is the actual speed limit?

You know you're in the wrong, though, right? Answer my question. 80.

80. I was driving 80, and he reported me to the station for going 10 over the speed limit, and I'm really upset about it.

I didn't know they actually saved those. That is brand new information. That's good to know.

Listen, I remember one time somebody was driving one of our vehicles, and they were driving erratically and crazy, and it was Paul, our old boss, Paul Corvino, gets the phone call, and he answers the phone and he's like hello and they're like yes i'm looking for the boss of i heart he goes well this is the boss and the person's screaming and yelling and paul paul goes that was me driving the thing he was waiting for his new jeep to come in from zot and so he was driving the station vehicle to and from so oh here you go here's steven a is this steven a smith stop

I don't know if you guys know this. It's not his real voice.

Stay off the damn weed. That's number one. Number two. And more importantly, Kwame Brown is gone. The city of Angels, Hollywood, you should be celebrating. Throw a parade already. Whether you win a championship or not, this man was a bona fide...

Where does he work, by the way, in the building there? Is he there? Is he in one of those studios? Oh, he's got his own studio.

Actually, it might look like he's in studio, but he's actually, it's green screened. So he's in a side studio.

This guy believed me so much that I didn't want to tell him the truth. Like, I didn't want to break his heart.

Well, listen, I know there's a lot of people at this time of the year that work at the malls, and they're probably asked where Santa is. So that's kind of the, Stephen A. is our Santa Claus.

I get asked when Ryan Seacrest comes in.

Do you really?

Oh, yeah.

Do you ever tell him that Ryan's like, he's down the hall, right? Or he said, no, he's at the Spaghetti Factory having lunch.

Don't bring that up right now. You know what? I always say, yeah, we share a studio. He comes in. He kicks me out.

That's funny. You were at the mall yesterday and witnessed something kind of interesting. We weren't driving a station vehicle, but what were you witnessing?

I wasn't driving a station vehicle, thank God, because this was the weirdest interaction I've had in a while. Because I was out. I was getting ready for Jingle Ball and I had to run into the mall really quickly to pick up a few things last minute and it's like I was there around three o'clock yesterday and I see these four guys standing kind of in a huddle right next to my car now I'm gonna be honest I got a little bit nervous I was like why y'all huddle it up what's going on there's nothing valuable in my car please walk away it's just old paint cans um and all of a sudden I see all of them their hands go up, and their heads go back, and I realize all four of them are shotgunning Bud Light big boys at 3 o'clock in the afternoon at the mall. And I had so many questions.

What are you judging for? What are you doing?

Well, I just, I wasn't judging. I just have questions. Like, why are there four guys shotgunning beers in the parking lot at the mall at 3 o'clock? Why are you going, is this a tradition? Is this Christmas shopping? Why do you have the middle-of-the-day availability? Were you going in to work an event? Like, what were you doing?

What were you doing? Did you ask her or no? Did you just let her do the thing?

No, I saw four adult men, shotgun, big boys in a parking lot in the middle of the day. I would have had to ask.

Missed opportunity. You should have been toss me a tall boy. Let's get rolling. What's up here?

No, but then they threw it at my feet. And then I said, excuse me, do you think I'm going to pick that up? No, I didn't. I got in my car and I said, thank you so much for throwing that near me. I will pick up after you boys and have fun today.

I have never been man enough to be able to drink a tall boy. Like when I go into like a party store, we call them here in Michigan. You guys call them whatever liquor stores in Ohio. When I go in there and I go into the case and they've got like the big old, you know, I'm going, man, I wish I was man enough to be able to have one of those.

Well, you know, they sell those at like Pine Ob and stuff in the summer, but White Claw.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. That's too much seltzer for me. Yes, they do.

But if you put it in a paper bag, though, it would still look bad enough.

If they only see the top, they don't know what you're drinking. But I love getting... Whenever I go to the store and get the oil cans, the Foster's cans, those giant... I always get one for me and one for Mark, our engineer. He loves those things.

Yeah. If you ever see me at Pine Knob for a show, there's a 95% chance I'm already drunk.

Or at the mall Or drinking at the mall By the way this is the time of the year From now until Christmas Where the going to the mall Turns into a going to the mall to drink And every mall should have A good drinking place

Yes, I agree.

It makes shopping so much more fun.

Well, that's like 12 Oaks has Sedona Tap House now. So Meg keeps coming up with a reason we need to go to the mall. Like, we forgot my uncle. And then we just go drink. We don't even end up going shopping. Wait, you left your uncle at the mall? Yeah, no, no. We forgot him on the Christmas list.

Let's go get him a gift. We forgot our uncle at Sedona Tap House.

So you guys don't have a place where you can get drinks and then walk around the mall with the drinks? No. Do they have that in West Michigan? Where do they have that? So first off, you're going to judge it, but Rivertown Mall has a Friday's that you can go to and get a drink, and you can carry it out. And walk around the mall? Yes. Hold on.

I would be so dangerous. Do they let you do that at our malls? I don't think so. Can you leave with a to-go cup?

Technically, it's legal now for them to sell you a to-go cup.

And nobody would ever know that it wasn't coffee in this thing, right?

Why do they not have- That is genius. Somebody call up the- what's the owner of Somerset? Is it David Forbes? Yes. Isn't it Nate? Nate Forbes. Nate Forbes. Call Nate Forbes up and ask him why at Somerset they don't have like the place that has chicken on a stick, the Chinese place where they always give you, would you like a sample chicken? They always give you like the- The bourbon chicken.

They used to have it. They don't anymore on the food court.

No, I'm not worried about that. Okay. I'm giving an example here.

I'm worried about it.

It was my favorite. Do you like that? All right. We want that back too.

Okay.

They have the Chick-fil-A. They have the, you know, the place, the Chinese place that makes whatever. No, I want the drinking. And let's put a drinking place in. Like, why do they not have, like, a place? What about in the middle of the mall where Santa is? You know, like, Tiger's games, how they have the frozen drinks?

Yeah, that there's, like, a big, just round area. And, you know, and it's a bar in the center. And you could just pony up and have a little drink. People would spend so much money.

Well, I'm just thinking, like, when I walk into my Kohl's, I think, man, this place is sloppy at Christmas. It looks like a bomb went off. Now I understand, like, at Granville it is because, like, people are drinking and shopping over there.

So, I think, Mike, is this legit or are you the one guy that does this?

No, there's specific drinks that you can only order, like, three different drinks. And they put them in sealed to-go cups and you can walk around the mall with them. Yeah, a game changer.

Do you know how many, it would be all husbands sitting in the middle of the mall if they had, like, a bar like this while their wife's shopping. It's genius. Target should do this.

Well, that's why I'd love to – I wish Megan had asked this foursome here because I wonder, is it a tradition every year? They go shop for their families. Like, what is it? Yeah.

We used to – in our mall that we had when I was growing up, we had a Chi-Chi's. And every Christmas Eve, we would go shopping with my dad for the last-minute stuff. It was like a guy tradition in my house. And then my dad would take us to Chi-Chi's where dad would get drunk and we would drive dad home. So dad would end up drinking margaritas with chips and salsa and nachos and stuff like that. Remember how Chi-Chi's used to have good food? Yeah, the celebration of food.

I was trying to think of what they're saying. Yeah.

And then we would go and all go home drunk. And my mom would be like, you're never taking – she would say, Tony, you're never taking the boys out again. And then next year my mom would say, go, so that we could all leave. Hi, Mojo in the morning. Hello.

Good morning. Hey, in Toledo, our Kroger store had a wine and, like, IPA bar that you could drink alcohol and walk around and do your grocery shopping. Or you could sit out and hang out with the locals. Our Kroger store had that. And it was nonprofit. Like, you pay a couple of bucks and all the proceeds went to the Northwest Ohio Food Bank. Yeah, but what happened to the one in Slovenia?

Uh-oh.

COVID happened.

What do you mean? That's what I heard. What were you going to say? They told everybody.

I heard people were getting a little too lit out there. Oh, really?

Were they walking around Kroger Topless or something?

No, they would limit how many you could have.

Oh, they had to.

You could only buy so many. So they definitely had a strict limit of how much you could drink. But it was really nice. They had mimosas. It was awesome.

Don't they have? I don't shop at Whole Foods much, but doesn't Whole Foods have something like this? where they have a little wine place?

So they have, like, a bar. I don't know if you can walk around the store, though.

Yeah.

I saw girls get kicked out on Tic Tac the other day from Whole Foods because they got too drunk.

Really?

What's up, Charlene?

Megan, I see this as a challenge. I know. What's going on?

Hi. I was calling because I'm from Louisiana, and they have, like, drive-thru liquor stores down there. Yes. They even have drive-thru daiquiri. Yes, frozen daiquiri. They put tape across the top of it.

You took us to one of those places

Yeah we went down there for a morning show thing And the first thing we did When we pull off New Orleans right from the airport Mojo said let's go drive through daiquiris

So my favorite thing is that They give you Everybody gets yours open But the driver has the

He doesn't get a straw No because he's not supposed to drink his while he's driving It's fail proof

Exactly.

They're very trusting, aren't they, in Louisiana?

They are. But the town that I live in, it's called a parish instead of for a county or I don't know how y'all call them up here. We actually were a dry county or dry parish. Wow. So we had to drive to the next one over to be able to get liquor or beer or anything.

I'm telling you that I think that the malls should do this. You know, first off, malls, we got to bring them back again. Like, we need malls. People got to stop ordering online. They need to go to malls and go shopping because where else can you go and get in fights with people over the holidays? You know, it's like I can't sit there and just fight with my family. I need to fight with people.

Everybody has a cocktail before they shop. I bet there'd be a lot less fighting mojo.

And they need to bring alcohol into it, right? What's up, Brooke?

Hey, I live out in Macomb, and there's a grocery store called Vincent Joe's. And they have a wine dispenser. You can get your beer, go eat your pizza there. And my favorite is they make spiked coffee So you can eat your Irish cream and your coffee

Oh, I've been to it I've been to the one on Garfield and Metro And I've been in there and they have the gelato And I will be a happy soul drinking a spiked coffee with Bailey's And have them put a little scoop of chocolate gelato on there And I buy so much stuff that I don't need in the grocery store I walk out with an $80 bill

See that? Alcohol makes you spend Yeah What's up, Brian? Hey, what's going on, guys? Nothing much, buddy Happy holidays. What's going on?

Yeah, you too, guys. I just wanted to tell you, me and my old man used to go to the mall at Lakeside every Christmas. It was tradition. And we would end up buying like 10 times the amount of gifts we actually needed. And the next morning, when everybody was opening their presents, nobody got what they wanted. Isn't it the best? There were so many presents, you couldn't believe it, you know?

So, isn't this cool? Me and my old man. That's kind of like how it was for me, too. We'd go just get drunk at the mall.

Well, you know why I love going to Lakeside now. They just turned the Toys R Us space into the total wine. Really? Yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, now you buy whatever you want and take it with you.

All right. Yeah.

Put in a little Tim Hortons cup. Nobody knows the difference.

I'm telling you, we just gave so many ideas to all the mall people.

We're supporting local business, Mojo.

Exactly.

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