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Mojo in the Morning, I saw this, and I gotta tell you guys, i'm guilty of it and i want to know if there are any others that are and if you agree or disagree i guess is probably more likely but i saw this on tiktok so there was a tiktoker that put together for some reason you know my algorithms on tiktok are and i don't understand why my algorithms on tiktok are for struggles in your marriage tiktoks like how to make your marriage better and loving and all the rest of the stuff. And I think it's because Chelsea and I do that. We don't podcast and sometimes we're searching for topics and things to talk about and stuff. And then the other one is Jordan's better than LeBron. Those are the videos that come up like reels and then also on my TikToks too. Those are the ones that algorithm to me. I saw this one about relationships and it was asking, is sharing your marriage struggles with a co-worker cheating. And what they mean by that is if you're sharing them with a co-worker that is a co-worker of your desired preference, okay? So a guy sharing them with a female co-worker, if he's heterosexual, or a woman sharing them with a male co-worker, you know what I mean? Is that considered cheating? And it was pretty interesting because it was really judgmental on the fact that if you are doing this then you are they say breaking the vow of your marriage because you're sharing too much information and that you should not be doing it if you're going to share something you share it with a person that is somebody that you know is paid to do it like a therapist or maybe you share it with like a really really good friend of yours that is of

the same sex or you go to your your person your spouse and you're supposed to like share with that you know you're supposed to you're supposed to be working it out with them instead of spreading it

around to other people well and the interesting thing is the the interesting thing is a lot of times there's there when you're talking about your struggles you don't share that with your spouse exactly which is wild because i'm watching this tiktok and i'm realizing i've been guilty of this i've done it i've shared jeez i i almost said uh the bad word there i've shared stuff with shannon i've shared stuff with uh ellen our old producer i've shared stuff with the producer that was before that now i've shared stuff with lydia probably too same like where you where you go through and you share and you're like oh you know kind of hey but it usually is hey how you doing today i'm kind of you know i was up late last night whatever

And it's interesting because this is not a good thing then, according to this TikToker.

According to this TikToker. I don't think it's cheating, but at times it can be out of pocket. Like if you're sharing intimate details of your relationship with people, you just got a cool relationship that you see every day and work with. Maybe that's not the best thing to do. because similarly to how we say if I share something with my friend about my spouse well now my friend looks at my spouse differently they your co-worker may have this picture image of your significant other yeah that isn't the full story or the full picture and now they're judging your spouse based on your story I never thought about it that way that is a very big part of it but I

also think and I I learned this the second time around when Wes and I were going through our like premarital counseling that we did with the pastor who married us last year, you are opening up your relationship. You are opening up your relationship to the criticism and advice and the mind and the heart of another human being. And it's relationships, intimate marriage relationships are not designed for that whatsoever. And it, you know, whether you want to think of it this way or not and i use this analogy a ton it's a crack it becomes a crack in your marriage when you do that

because you are not sharing with your your partner why did you learn it this time did it come up at

all um it came up not in any sort of bad way it just came up in conversation of like and and wes was actually the person i think that brought it up that it was really important to him that instead of turning outside of the marriage if something was going on in our relationship like it was very very important to him that i bring that to him first for us to figure out and my response right away my knee-jerk reaction was defensive and i'm like well sometimes it's something that's wrong with you and i want to talk about it with my sister or i want to talk about it with my you know my best friends and he's like but like it should be here yeah i'm like pointing to fake

west next to me it should be here first can i tell you though i do think though that sometimes you can talk to a family or friend or somebody that's close to you and they have to but they have to be a good perspective they have to be the type of person that doesn't that you can tell them without them giving you action items like they have to almost be a listener but i will say this though i think the different part is when it's potentially you telling it to somebody of the opposite text because there's also there's also a stat that uh this morning i was going to tell you guys uh according to a recent survey 62 of men have admitted to having an affair with somebody in their work 62 of men and they say that in uh relationships where people are right now in a relationship and working in an office with with somebody of the opposite sex one in three men have a person in their office that to me is crazy that's like why is that crazy because that's a lot That just shows you that there's a lot of, you know, bad stuff that could happen.

And also, I would not want Wes sharing our messy stuff with a woman in his office. That would make me super uncomfortable.

I think a lot of times it comes down to a lack of patience and a lack of intentionality. I think if you have a fight the night before, sometimes you just need to get it out. Yeah. And you don't either you don't have the therapist or you don't see the person that is your confidant. And then you build these relationships. We see each other five. We see each other more at times than we see our best friends or the people that we love. Yeah. And we build these relationships. We build these bonds. We build these connections that don't always stay in the professional box. They get in a friendship box and we allow that to happen.

I mean, that's all of us. Exactly. That's all of us. For sure.

Emily, what's up? It's Mojo in the morning. we're talking about is sharing your struggles in your relationship with a co-worker cheating what's

going on um yes so my old boss and my old co-worker um did that for a couple years now and they're now both divorced and they're dating each other um my boss's ex-wife found a diary of him admitting like

all of his feelings for my old co-worker so do you think that the sharing part started and then the relationship started or do you think that one or both yeah oh yeah so you don't think one or both

of them wanted to have a relationship uh before that um no i think that they were they were both sharing because they both were having problems and like once they both started sharing their like problems with each other they it kind of became like a more intimate relationship misery loves

company yeah exactly man yeah well it you know it's that crack that shannon was talking about in the relationship

You just honestly just opened that crack a little bit further. Kim, what's up? It's Mojo in the morning. Hi.

Good morning. So I would say I have a friend who was confiding in a girlfriend. So girlfriend was confiding in a girlfriend.

Okay.

And unfortunately, the girlfriend took all of the information she was sharing to her because she turned around and had an affair with the husband.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

So you think you're confiding in a friend? shame on you because she knew exactly what was going on what wasn't going on so guess what she

knew what to do exactly they were plotting on you were they really close was it a close-knit group of people yeah i would say we well we were yeah because did the husband work with you guys

no no this was just a friend group because that's weird how it has nothing to do with

so it was just it was a friend situation okay so it's all the friends hanging around that's interesting because i've heard of those situations happening a lot where friend groups get together and they hang out with each other and then they some have marital problems and then one of the friend group people end up with the other friend group person that that uh because you now know all the details of what's going on in that relationship eric what's up it's mojo in the morning hi hi how you doing good what's going on we're talking about uh is it cheating to confide your marriage struggles with somebody else i i think so i think when you start confiding in like

like you said your preferred or uh preferred sex or whatever that uh you start becoming emotionally involved with them and it's like you're looking for attention from them

ah so the intention is that you're becoming closer to them yeah and and i mean i've seen

happen at plenty of jobs. I work in kitchens and restaurants and stuff. Have you ever done it? No. It's like it almost becomes the norm for

people. Yeah. I mean you can kind of tell, can't you, with co-workers that are having an affair? Like there's a lot of people that I've worked with over time that have had relationships with a co-worker and it to me never started with them all of a sudden starting to bang each other. It started because one was one was going through something and it was like they were they were they were like playing

therapist or something sometimes people just be attracted to each other dog and they just need the catalyst in order to take it to that next level yeah regardless of what it is yeah and they be plotting on your relationship so everybody ain't happy for you some people want you to be single they want they can get in them draws wow why are you looking at me Work wives and work husbands is a real thing. It does.

I don't like that phrase. Watch who she going to lunch with. I never liked that phrase.

Watch who she going to lunch with every day.

Her little lunch friend want to smash. Why do you don't like work wives, work husbands?

Because it just makes me uncomfortable.

Creepy?

It's not creepy. That's not the word I would use, but I don't know. My jealousy comes out. I don't want Wes to have a work wife. I want him to have a wife.

me thanks what's up sarah hi so um this situation kind of happened with my sister so she had confided in somebody at work and her soon-to-be ex-husband had um seen a text or something and he had accused her of cheating because she had confided in somebody else about their relationship they had been going through it for a while like she tried to go to him first but he wasn't really listening to her. And so she started confiding into somebody else. So he told like my sisters and my brothers that she had cheated on him emotionally and they took his side. So she don't even really talk to any of my sisters and brothers anymore because they decided to take

her soon to be ex-husband side over hers. Interesting. I thought I lost you. I got lost in this whole thing. I'm sorry. I wasn't really paying attention. No offense. I wasn't paying attention there for a second i was like okay where am i at here but that sounds like a nice story but thank you thank you for the call sarah i'm just being honest instead of going oh that's i don't think i don't think it was you that was me more me you were attention i wasn't my attention was i was like look bird uh therapist brooke let's wrap this up with a nice bow and give me

your therapy thoughts on this and it come correct yes so my biggest thing here is i don't necessarily think it's cheating but when you're going to somebody outside of the marriage or relationship you're taking away from the other person's opportunity to even understand or know your frustration yep so a lot of the time we're going to people with our frustrations we're not getting

feedback on like oh well maybe this person took it this way or did you try to explain it this way that's usually what is happening 95 percent of the time when people are going out of the relationship they're not getting this response or the person is not receiving their frustrations

the way that they want it to or them to in your uh practice how many relationships start in the office zero no i'm saying how many cheating relationships i guess oh clients not you yes i was like yeah i'm not talking about you i don't want you to hold your stories

i'm talking about with your clients yeah clients i would i would say probably about 90 percent of the people that is what's happening is they have an argument with their significant other they're going to work frustrated the next day or they're getting texts throughout the day and then they're venting to their co-workers they're only hearing the one side making the other person out to be this terrible person and most of the time nobody ever asks okay well what's that other person's side of the story how did you react how what did you do you know it's crazy um you know what by the way it's good to be a therapist isn't it you probably this business no i love what i do

You never run out of customers when you're a therapist. There's all kinds of craziness going out there, right?

There is, but I think the best part of this job is I am able to see both sides of what's going on. And people come in all the time and talk about their significant others. But I always like to say, okay, well, what was their view and challenge the other person? And we bring, you know, in individual counseling, I'll say, let's bring this, you know, your husband or wife in next time. let's hear the other side so then they can explain their view of how a situation took place right in front of each other with me there and we can work through it that was honestly the

the thing that kept chelsea and i together was i finally saw what she was talking about like this the things that i was i was doing and uh and then when i finally saw her side i feel like she then finally saw where i was coming from too i think that it you know it's a it ain't easy right and i

No, marriage relationships are hard, and we all don't speak the same language all the time.

Believe me, and I think that society doesn't want to keep marriages together. I think there's a lot of things out there that pull them apart.

Yeah, 100%. Y'all talking that Bible talk, nah.

I'm talking about you.

Same thing.

You over there. You know what he asked me yesterday? What? What did I ask you? Can I say what you said to me? I guess I can. I don't know what you said to me. He said to me, he goes, yo, Mojo. He goes, do you think Lydia and I could be in a relationship together? Oh, he asked me that, too.

He asked me, too. And I was very honest with my answer. Is there an inter-office romance going on between you two guys?

Lydia don't want me, dog.

Oh, my God. No, there's not. There's no romance.

I think there's something going on between you two guys.

What did you say when asked? He said no.

I said no. I said, well, first off, no, because there's no way you guys could work together. I don't think that it would not be successful. It would ruin the dynamic of things.

Kevin, are you being serious?

I already asked Sianne for your hand in marriage.

He called your mom to talk to me about that. I'm asking George next week.

I asked my mom yesterday. What'd she say? I told her about the conversation you and Kev had, and she thought it was funny that Kev said that he had her blessing. Wait, now I want to call your mom.

I want to call your mom.

I think that this might have to be a topic. Whatever.

That's why you said we need to call Sianne.

All right, let's do the dirty and we'll come back.

Let's make sure that's Lydia's mom. Let's do the dirty.

You said you need to sit on it first?

Yeah, you need to sit on the topic first.

Oh, I thought you said you need to sit on it first.

I didn't know where we were going. He's getting dad joke funny sexual right there.

It's not a dad joke.

I don't think it's any joke. Here's the one thing, though, you know, if you're in a relationship with...

Ask her if she likes nuts. That's a good joke. I might spin the block on you. We're doing our own show over here. More on the Mojo Podcast.

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