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Mojo on the morning show. Phone number is 844-MOJO-LIVE. The text is 95500. I have a quick question for you and it involves, yes, our favorite topic, pooping. Do D. What is the etiquette surrounding going number two in someone else's house i've got a personal story with this i'm going to share with you and then i want to know your thoughts are guys i had to go so bad it felt like a gluten duty anybody has a gluten allergy it's the worst megan i can sense it first off i get arthritic hands like my hands tighten up on me first when i realize that i've been infected

So that's like your warning sign to prepare yourself?

Yeah, which I know that you got a million allergies. You probably get warning signs, don't you, when you know, oh, God, I got an EpiPen. I got to get it.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. When the hives start on the insides of my cheeks, I know it's not going to be good.

It's the worst.

That's my face cheeks, not my butt cheeks.

I just don't know where it is. I wouldn't see those. If they were on the butt cheeks. um for those that don't know when you have a gluten you know intolerance issue and then you get gluten in your diet and you have to go to the bathroom those bathroom breaks are very smelly so what do you do uh like this happened we went to a friend's house to eat and uh i was going to the bathroom and first off first and foremost i go in and i know it's gonna also be a noisy one So I run the hot and cold water. I got like the water blasting. I don't actually, it was one of those bathrooms too, that has a tub attached to it. Like there's a tub shower there. And I'm like, God, should I just turn the shower on too?

Make it even more obvious.

Well, I figured make it all steamy and stuff. Cause if you make it steamy, sometimes it gets rid of the smell. Then I cranked up.

Just so you know, it's the opposite. Don't do that.

Really?

Yes, it absorbs and keeps that smell in there.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

God, thank you for telling me. Well, I had the fan on. They had one of those fans that was like, and you know, like their overhead one, like it sounded like it needed to be cleaned or something. It was so bad. What I ended up doing was I looked underneath their counter and they had soaps and all kinds of things down there. She had...

She had, like, deodorants and things like that. I'm spraying everything in this place. It was crazy.

Can I be honest, though? That's not on you. They're bad hosts. Why? I think that if you have people over, it's your responsibility to make sure everybody's comfortable in every situation. And I don't mean to brag, but I actually think that I am really the perfect place to poop if you're not at home. Because when you get set up, I have like an echo dot in my bathroom and I'm blaring music in there the whole time you're over. Whether you have to use the bathroom or not. Just so it's not awkward that you need to turn it on. It's already playing. There's a candle lit before you come over so it smells good in there. And you leave the fan on before they come over so they never have to switch it. It's just ready to go. That sounds perfect. And you have poopery or something, don't you? I have room spray in there. I want everybody because like you, Mojo, I have stomach issues. Mine are a little bit different, but I understand that embarrassment. That's not the person hosting. Well, let me tell you something.

I don't have any of those things except the candle. I do have a candle in my bathroom always burning because I don't want you to poop in my bathroom. That is terrible. I take everything out except for the toilet and toilet paper.

Do you really?

Well, I don't have any. I really don't have it. You know how weird I am, though, about people pooping.

yeah can i go back to the poopery i think that just smells like bad scent over bad poop like i

feel i agree with you i don't think it does anything what do they say it's like putting

lipstick on a pig it's basically like putting perfume on a poop exactly um easton what's going on easton it's mojo in the morning show how are you hi first time long time

Hey, Easton on your phone. So I actually, Monday night, I had some buddies over. And one of them had to poop so bad that I just kept saying no and he kept asking me. He finally just left my house, went all the way home, drove like 20 minutes home, and then came all the way back. Like, I forced him to drive home to poop. Why? Why didn't you let him poop in the crib? Because it's my house. Like, I don't want him pooping in my bathroom.

You're evil.

It's evil.

You want people to be uncomfortable, in pain, and not around you. You're evil.

I would rather him not stink up my bathroom while he's over.

I wish you nothing but red lights.

That's rude.

It's rude you don't let people use your bathroom.

Real quick, real quick. How long of a drive are we talking? Like, if it's like, you know, two minutes or so. It was like 15 minutes for him. No, that's a long one. You get caught by some lights, you know, you have issues, you know, getting in and out of your house and out of your house. I mean, especially with inclement weather. I mean, you don't want inclement weather.

Yeah, the roads were pretty bad, and I made him drive home. Duty!

What a guy. That's so mean. What a friend. Thanks for the call. Hold on a second here. I never thought I'd see this on a call screen board. Shauna, what's up? What did you want to say?

Hi, friend. I want to poop at Megan's house. You're more than welcome. So my kid got suspended from school in first grade because he went to poop upstairs because the downstairs bathrooms were all nasty and gross and smelly.

Yeah. Wait, so the upstairs bathrooms were cleaner?

Yeah. But the downstairs bathrooms, because they were like for kindergartners, They were all pissy and poopy and gross.

Oh, yeah. Kids pee on the ground and everything. I saw something yesterday. I actually went to a public place. I went to pick up a carry-out order at this new restaurant, and they had underneath the urinal something I'm going to buy for us. It was basically like a shower mat that collects all the pee that might not go. You know how we always – I have an issue getting it in the urinal. I liked it because it was it was basically an exorbitant thing that is a little carpet thing.

Why is it that you guys can't aim into that big hole? I think Smith like looks around. I don't. It's like he wants to make a painting on the wall. But it goes everywhere. But the huge hole that you're supposed to get it in.

I think there should be a new law, a law and full jail time. No warning, no fines, full jail time. if you don't sit down to pee as a dude sit down to pee i am sick of all of you y'all are nasty

i like to sit down to pee but a lot of people say that if they have large penises they can't

do that that's great to fold them i'm also an equal opportunity uh rule maker so women who hover and don't sit you jail time

Both of you. Guys who don't sit down, women who hover. Jail.

Yeah. All right. I like that. That's a good law. Annette, what's going on? It's Mojo in the morning. I love the word blowout on your call screen. What's going on?

Hi. No, not a blowout. No, no, no. I was calling because if you light a match and blow it out, I guess, yeah, that's a blowout, and blow out the match, it absorbs the sulfur from the match, absorbs all the poop you smell. That is true. That does help a ton.

Who brings matches with you? I have a box of matches in my bathroom.

Yeah, a box of matches on the back of the toilet. Okay.

I'm going to carry around. And you're talking like the wooden matches, right? The stick matches? Yeah.

No, it can be any match. It can be any match. It can be a pack of matches that you get from the

gas station or hotel. I've got to get some matches. I'm going to try that, Annette. Thank you so much. when it said blowout I just read blowout and that had a blowout I was like any woman that will admit to a blowout is a woman for me what's up Brittany how you doing you have advice for me on guest pooping how you doing Brittany what's going on

so I had gastric bypass and if you spray the toilet before you use the restroom it actually helps mask the smell

with the poopery yeah it's always shocking to me When Shannon and Mojo say it doesn't work, I feel like they're not using it properly. You spray it in the bowl before you go? Yeah. Oh, see, I thought it was after. I still think it smells like poopery and poop. Oh, I don't.

I've done it differently. You guys taught me something. I always spray it after the fact.

No, you got to spray it before you go.

Oh, okay. Somebody made it stinky. And courtesy flushes, right? You got to do a courtesy flush right away or what? Depends on the toilet. I don't know.

Your relationship. If you got some floaters in there, eh.

Did you say relationship, or did you put a T at the end?

No, definitely a P.

What's going on? Sean, Sean's a manager of a Jimmy John's and wants to call out a customer. What's up, Sean? How you doing?

Good. How are you? Good. What's going on? Oh, I was a manager at Jimmy John's, and we would have people come in and use the bathroom, and there was a person that went in there and there was poop all over the wall, the ceiling, all over the place. How? And that's where the trust issues get.

It's raining from the ceilings.

The trust issues.

I don't understand.

I always wonder. How is it? How is it that somebody can miss that bad that it hits the ceiling? They didn't miss. He drew up.

That was on purpose.

Picasso. That's hysterical.

Picasso, I like it. Picasso.

Hold on, Mario. This is a great one. Mario, you cannot poop at your girl's house. What do you do?

Well, this was a new girl that I had met. I've only been to her place like one other time at this point in time. But I was on my way to her place. And this is probably my second time over to her place. But I was on my way when I started to get the bubble guts. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm going to go doo-doo bathroom and have her think like less of me if she like, if I think up her bathroom, that's a no-no. So I went to the gas station just right down the road from her. Thank goodness that they had a public restroom.

Yeah. I love it. The gas station that probably has like a hubcap attached to the key. The key. I always love when you go to the gas stations and you have to use the bathroom and they give you the key and the key's got, like, a two-by-four or something attached to the thing. I think you're smart, by the way, Mario, because I don't think early in a relationship a girl wants to know that there's a guy that's blowing out her restroom, you know? That's not a good idea. You'll never get anything for her.

One thing if it's, like, a year into the relationship, but no, this is, like, less than a month.

A year feels like a long time. That feels like no pasta dinners on any dates.

Yeah, it's the worst. Man, that's a bad one. And you've got to hope that they've got a good gas station close to their house when they're doing this. All right, well, thank you so much. And Leslie and Steve, I apologize for your bathroom and the remnants of it. There's nothing worse, by the way, than that happening and having the bathroom be right there where you guys are all sitting. Like, you know, who designs a house like that?

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