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Moto Casino. American Social Casino. All right, it is Mojo in the morning. We are uninterrupted right now. And Shannon started following someone on social media. Other way around. Oh, she started following you?

Yes, I accepted the friend request.

You accepted the follow. All right, Shannon started following because they followed her. You accepted the follow. and your fiancé didn't think that they should be following you.

He is very uneasy about this. And the person in question here is his ex-wife. Oh. So my Instagram account is public. Anybody can look or follow or whatever. But my Facebook, I do have a Facebook for the show, But then I do have a private Facebook that's for like, you know, people like my family or people I went to high school or college with, just people that I know really, really well. And so I post stuff there that I don't post on my Instagram or my other public Facebook. And so Wes's ex-wife, who, by the way, I'm very friendly with, friend requested me and I accepted her friend request. And when I said that to Wes, he was just not super comfortable with it whatsoever. And by the way, for a little bit of backstory, they are on very good terms and very friendly with each other.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

And I'm very friendly. I actually really, really like her. I feel like I hit the ex-wife jackpot with her.

Does he follow her?

He does not follow her, nor does he follow her fiance, who he is also very good friends with. And he just said it it's a boundary thing for him. And he he said he is social with them in real life. And so he doesn't need to be knowing what's going on, like with the ins and outs of their every day on social media. It's just he is he's good having the interactions he has with them in, quote unquote, real life. And he just wants to leave it there. And so he said to me when she followed me, he was like, you know, I feel like it's just like a little bit of insight into our quote unquote private, which I said to him, it's not really private. I mean, I'm putting it out on social media, but I kind of know what he means. So it's just an interesting question of should you follow your ex on social media? Is it healthy? Should you not? Honestly. Does it just cause more problems?

Well, here's the thing. honestly i think it's a case-by-case basis but i kind of like what wes is doing and i'm going to say this that i do think that it's not about like i don't like the person anymore no because he likes he likes her but you guys you know if you're if you if some people like are always kind of like doing their thing and showing

like showing you almost too much stuff on social media, and sometimes that can get in your head a little bit. If it's just a place for you to, like, look at pictures of your kids and see stuff like that, well, then, you know, then I think that it might be, you know, relatively okay. But if it's something that, I don't know, this is a case-by-case basis, but I do kind of agree with, at first I thought when you brought this up, I thought, uh-oh, Wes, this is weird. You know, I thought the drama of why do you not want to follow her and all that stuff, but I kind of get what he was talking about, the boundaries thing. right oh man uh 844 mojo live 844-665-6548 i'm one of those people that follows everybody just because i want to know where everybody is going and then it just causes me more problems and has to makes me go to therapy and stuff like that you know so i would probably be following everybody

honestly and i said this on a more mojo podcast recently i follow my ex-husband um but my husband But I sometimes on Instagram have to mute the stories, his stories, because it it is really hard for me to see certain things that he's doing with the kids like it is. It's I struggle with that still of like they're doing things that I'm not experiencing with them. And so to protect my own mental health, I know that it's better and I don't have the willpower to just not look. Yeah. So I specifically have to mute so that it doesn't even show up in my like little line of stories at the top of Instagram. Right. If that makes sense. Do you feel at all that you had to accept her follow because you didn't want to look like you were blocking her a little bit? Good point. Wes's ex-wife? Yes. Um, that's a really good question. Yeah, I think that was a little that was part of it, too, because sometimes I really I really want to have a good relationship with her. And I do. And so I don't want there to be anything that is, you know, that is making me seem like. Like you're being a biatch? Yeah.

Is it different because there's kids involved that you guys follow each other or that you guys don't follow each other? Like, should you follow each other because there are kids involved? Should you guys be friends even with the exes because there are kids involved?

I mean, my answer to that is yes. I don't know what other people would say.

I think that's also case by case. I don't know. I mean, listen, if you have to exchange kids at McDonald's, then you probably shouldn't also be following them on social. But let's go to Nick here. Nick wants to make a comment on this about Shannon's fiance saying that he doesn't know if he likes the idea that Shannon's mutually following and, you know, the whole idea with his ex-wife. What's going on?

Yeah, how's it going?

Good. What did you think about this?

Good. Yeah, I just, I think it's an interesting point to bring up. I have a couple of friends that have been in similar situations, and I think it's important that he wants to establish a boundary. or he's committing his life to a different person and wants to move on from that previous, I think it's good that he's establishing a boundary. I think he's a hundred percent correct in the situation.

Yeah. So it's, so it's not like he's trying to be overly, you know, cautious or overly, whatever it might be controlling. He's just got boundaries. There's, you know, I honestly to say this to, to, you know, anybody that does try to put boundaries up, you're a better person than I am because boundaries are the toughest thing in the world to ever do. Sam?

Hey, how's it going?

Good. What's going on? What do you think?

I follow my ex, her fiancé, and her and her fiancé both follow me and my fiancé.

Does it ever get weird? Like, has it ever caused an issue?

My fiancé finds it a little weird at times. I mean, there's kind of a history there. Her and I did have a child together. The child since passed away, and 17 years went by before we even spoke or follow each other on social media. And then at 17 years, we just decided for whatever reason to all follow each other and started talking again. It was a little weird at first, but as long as the distance has kept, it's been fine.

Yeah.

What's going on, Sean? How are you doing?

Good, Mojo. First time caller, long time listener.

I love it. Look at all these guys calling up. This is an interesting topic because predominantly we'll get a lot of women that will call right away with stuff, but guys are calling about this one. You guys must feel this one. What's up?

Actually, I've been married to my current wife for over 20 years, but my first wife I still follow, we've been following each other for over 30 years.

Okay, so you've had no problem with the following part.

Has there ever been anything that you saw That really just like gotcha Either rubbed you the wrong way Or made you sad

Well yeah because you do share History with that person And when it doesn't Work out well And you're the cause Because of it, then, yeah, you kind of feel bad. You feel like you screwed up their life when you see how their life is now so much better than what you provided.

Oh, man, that's the tough thing, the comparison part, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You compare what you had with them to what they have now, and you see it's a lot better than what you gave them, then, yeah, it's kind of heartbreaking.

Yeah, that's a tough one. That's really honest, by the way. Yeah, that is very. Sean.

thank you but yeah it's just it's tough because i do have a love for my ex-wife because she's the father she's she's a mother of my daughter and that's the one mutual common bond that we will

always have together yeah yeah uh cindy let's uh bring you into the mix what do you think about

this uh so there's a way that i don't know about the other social media platforms but on facebook there's a way that you could be friends with somebody and unfollow them so you don't see their day-to-day stuff like i totally understand what shannon was saying because i'm friends with all my ex-boyfriends and you know they're my ex-boyfriends because it was my choice for that to happen um but i don't want to see them going and i'm happy that they're happy i'm truly happy that they're happy but i don't want to see them you know going on their trips and their cruises and all that stuff so i'm friends with them on facebook i just unfollow them so i I don't see the everyday stuff.

So basically you mute them. Yeah, that's what I do on Instagram. Which is, yeah, what Shanna was talking about.

I don't know what it's called on Facebook. It's unfollowed.

But I do think this is the thing. So you do it for the appearance of not looking like you're blocking them or not wanting to see them.

No, I don't do it for the appearance.

Then why even be friends with them if you're muting it? Explain that.

because i still like who they are we just didn't work out as a relationship i know but then why

but but if you're if it's if it's going to cause you like i get that that's that option but are you doing that are you still following them so that they don't think that you're like because here's the reason why if you have somebody that's on social media that you mute sometimes that you i mute people who post too much you know sometimes that drives me sometimes they drive me crazy Because they're always in my feed And sometimes I'll go God, if I see another dog picture It's going to drive me crazy But you're actually Accepting their friendship on social media They're an ex You're instantly muting it Because you don't want to see them So you obviously are doing that For the appearance to them That you are okay That you're okay with everything that they're doing

It's not just them that I do It's a lot of people that I do Because social media is mentally It's just a lot Absolutely You get thousands of people in and out of your brain all day long, and it's just a way to be friends with people. Like, when I was younger, you were friends with them. You knocked on their door, but you didn't see them every second of the day.

Right. Yeah.

And that's what it is for me.

And honestly, I'm not saying that I don't think that you're wrong in doing what you're doing. I think it's right you're doing it. I'm just wondering, like, I think that in the case of you doing what you're doing, you're preserving your mental health by not seeing your exes out having great times and doing stuff. I wish people would post their bad times. It would make me feel even better.

Yeah, it's just like if I was out and about with my friends and I've seen them in a restaurant or at a bar, I would still go up and say, hey, how are you doing? I would give them a hug.

But then here's my analogy. Here's my analogy. You wouldn't go to a restaurant that you knew he was always at if he was going there with girlfriends and people like that.

I wouldn't mind that. No, I wouldn't mind that at all. So in person, you'd be okay. I just wouldn't be following them home and seeing what clothes they're picking out and seeing, you know, I wouldn't be in their, you know, their planning of their activities. I wouldn't be in all of that. I would just see what I wanted to see. Yeah.

It is interesting, isn't it, that we actually consider social media to be more personal than actually seeing the person up close and personal. I mean, sometimes. And I think a lot of times the thing is that people shine themselves up a little bit in social media. That's why I was saying I love, I love, I have a couple people I follow that are friends of mine who no joke post the worst posts about themselves every day. They don't post anything. Why'd you call me out like that? Honestly, I respect the hell out of them. I can't wait till they put a post up there. It's funny as hell, but they use social media as their way to show that they're having, like, you know, they're having, like, a normal day like every person has. Like, you are probably having listening to us right now.

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