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This is Mojo in the Morning.

Hello. This is Mojo in the Morning. Mojo.

Mojo. This show's up. And the Rockets red glare.

You're not being logical is what I'm saying.

This is like an orgasm and a cop.

Showtime. We'll be right back.

all right it's a mojo in the morning show uh you're home of the phone scams the war of the roses in the dirty under 30 it's mojo in the morning i have the hardest time buying christmas gifts for one person and one person only my wife chelsea chelsea and i have been been married for gosh 25 plus years and we've been together for 27 plus years and in all the times that we have been together i have never been able to buy her a christmas gift that was she hasn't returned well no no she's returned a lot of them sorry i didn't want to make that no but but you're you're right certain responses because i've bought the wrong size i brought the you know bought the the wrong idea the wrong color i mean i've tried and i'm not a good gift buyer because my problem is i wait till the very last minute and then i'm ended up picking from whatever the scraps are that are left so i said to chelsea uh that we should do something that our kids and a lot of kids do Why do we not write?

adult Santa Christmas letters for our gifts. Like, why is it that my kids can, and I shared with you guys my kids' Christmas letters from over the years, like Luke and his briefcase full of $500,000 in fake money. Yeah, yeah. Well, why is it that Chels and I don't, along with the kids, write out, like, this is what we want. And even to a point when, remember when we were kids, We would even go into the service merchandise Or the JCPenney's catalog And we would cut the pictures out

Or Toys R Us

The big book And you'd put the pictures there Why do we not do this Are there any adult couples that do this Instead of just saying Here's what I want You put a list together Or a letter together to each other Of this is what you want Your Christmas 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548. I think that this would get rid of a lot of the stress that people have.

Well, because it doesn't mean you want everything on there. It's just like giving you ideas, you know? Honestly, our friends at Lucido Fine Jewelry, they do this. They do this? I'm giving them a little plug here, too. But you can go in, like, guys, tell your girl to go in, and you can, like, create a list that they keep there with, like, all sorts of ideas. And then your husband or your boyfriend or your girlfriend, wife, whatever, can go in. and have a bunch of ideas of stuff that they know that you like.

Is it insulting to your spouse if you have to ask for a list? Does it say, I don't know anything about you, and I'm not sure what you'd like? That's what I wonder. I wonder if people would take that as an insult.

It goes both ways to me there, because it's like, yes, I totally could see that part of it, but it's also helpful in that, like, you're getting... You're getting exactly what they want. You know it's a home run, you know what I mean?

Laura, you guys do this?

We do. So, my daughter, we actually started this year. So, my daughter brought home a Christmas list from school, but it says, like, are you a boy? Like, dear Santa, I'm a, like, boy or girl. And then it says, are you naughty or nice? And then we brought it home, and my husband's like, we should do this. And I was like, we should. So, now we do this. Like, I made up this little cute thing on the computer, and you have to check if you're a boy or a girl. It's just funny.

So, your husband and you put it together. Do you guys have some cool things on the list?

Yeah, I'm already done with him, but it's everything on his list. But he had no idea what to do.

That's what I think. I think this helps guys out more than it helps girls out.

You said that about your wife, and he's like, you are literally the only person I struggle with. Like my kids, I have to tell him, we have enough.

Yeah.

It's time to equal them out.

I know. It's so tough. You guys are tough to buy for. How do you buy for perfection? Thank you. Carrie, what's going on? Hey, Mojo. Hey, what's going on? Do you guys do a list?

No, but I was just saying this the other day. I totally need to do that because I had all these things I wanted to get for my birthday. And my mom said she was getting me something that was awesome. She was so excited about it. And I was like, yes, I bet it's like a new toolbox for my job or something. She got me a giant case of toilet paper. and the box says what the what the crap on the outside and i was like that's that's exactly what i was thinking you know what though you're gonna need it yeah i mean it's useful it's useful she loves to get me practical things and i love that about her but it was just like what the crap yeah

that's actually kind of funny though she got you a big giant case of toilet paper uh bobby what's

happening hey how are you we're good what's going on good um so for christmas when i was a kid my parents you know with all the toys r us catalogs they always had a circle what we wanted so when i got into my relationship six years ago with my boyfriend we kind of followed that same thing and we started making like scrapbooks um when we get you know the adult catalogs now with all the

kitchen stuff and all of that so so we make little scrapbooks the scrapbooks go for all year round

right not just christmas time correct all year round and we save for like the next year so we

have ideas if we weren't able to get it all yeah that's very organized that actually is awesome i

love that erin hi hey good morning hey good morning what's going on so i want a lot of things all the time so amazon allows you to create a wishlist and dump things into your wishlist and then you can share it with other people so they know exactly what you want you know what the wishlist

thing though to me is not as fun as doing the old-fashioned sitting down on a piece of paper

that just seems too high-tech then it's even less personal yeah i love it i mean i like the idea of

like getting actually the the pictures and like my kids it was so funny i was looking at christmas Letters from them They put the links to buy it like you know written down on or typed up on a piece of paper you know and they hand it to their mom and the funniest is the boys are real kiss asses yeah they will actually put like christmas border around theirs and they'll like try to make it all like look what's going on leah

i made a powerpoint slide i put photos i put price i put the link i put promo codes for some of the items like during black friday and all of that and i emailed it out to my boyfriend and to my mom and I said, do with it what you will, but here's everything I would want because I'm just very organized and I feel like if you want to get someone something, you want to get them something they like. So it just makes life easier.

Yeah. Yeah. Seriously, it's a great point. You want to get somebody something, you want to get them something that they like. And it's something not that I like, as Chelsea has told me before.

Dear Santa, I was good this year. Well, most of the year. Well, once in a while. Hell, never mind. I'll buy my own presents.

Merry Christmas. From Mojo in the Morning.

Mojo in the Morning show. Mike and Shannon, you guys both have elves on the shelves. Yeah. Word of warning, keep them away from your dogs because friends of Chelsea and I had a horrible day yesterday as their dog ate their elf. Oh, no.

No way.

Oh, that's really bad.

And what is it? One of the worst things is for anybody to touch it?

Yes. Yes, it loses its magic then.

Does it lose its magic?

It can't go back to the North Pole and report to Santa.

Does it lose its magic if the dog?

Well, it's dead then.

If Ernie the Elf, by the way, was eaten by Max the dog.

Do you have to wait for Max to poop out on the other side? A little poop with a little red Santa hat on?

No, well, the worst is, I think he just tore it apart and went in pieces. I hope the kids didn't discover You know how Dublin is with like play toys And stuff like that, they go crazy No, the kids watched it live

The kids saw the horrible thing I mean, that's therapy That's therapy right there

So mom had to explain That And say that Ernie the elf That wasn't Ernie, Ernie can be Sent back to the North Pole to get repaired And then mom had to figure out Exactly how to get repaired ernie of course by getting a new ernie but um if you have kids with you right now maybe tune away for just one second but is is this a common thing because of we have dogs and we had uh our elf but uh i don't think that uh our dog ever got you know near the elf i think that we always had had it set up where it was higher enough where the dogs you know couldn't see it spike's killing you with those Timbits. Are you okay? Does she need Heimlich right now? Give her Heimlich with the Timbits

that she's saying. She's all right. Did you poison them? No, I sent a meme of the elf being eaten. Oh. I think she saw the picture.

Were you choking on a Timbit or what was that? No, I haven't even tried it yet. Oh, really? Oh, you just started choking? I just

literally started choking. If you're going to

require Heimlich, you don't want a Heimlich on your own spit. I'm not joking. That's what it was. I want a Heimlich on a steak. Give me a Blackrock tomahawk steak.

Have you ever had that where you just start choking?

Yes, I hate that.

It's so scary. Thank you guys for laughing at me. Nobody came over. I wasn't laughing.

I was ready to call the police. I was going to eat your Timbits. Oh, yeah, wow. You guys really jumped up. I was going to file an investigation because you just got the Timbits, and I worried that... I worried about that. I was going to reach over like, ooh, she left them unattended. What would be more tragic to watch? As a child, your elf being eaten by your dog Or Shannon choking to death on spit

For real? You're comparing me to the elf?

I want to know which one would be the more tragic one What age is the kid?

Robert?

Spencer, you had the same thing happen to you?

Yep, actually our dog and our cat worked as a team The cat knocked the elf out of the tree And the dog chewed a hole in his forehead So that night we had to do surgery because the boy was so torn up over Sharky having a hole in his head.

Oh, no. Sharky. Wait, so you did the surgery? You didn't just, like, replace?

Oh, no. He refused to get a new one, and if we were to change him out now, he'll know it's not his original. So we have an elf with a hole in his forehead.

But the cool thing is, it adds character to the elf, right?

Oh, absolutely. He's one of a kind now.

Yeah. I mean, that elf's a badass elf. I mean, that's one of those ones where you got a story, you know? It's like, you know how everybody needs a good story? That elf's got a story. Absolutely. All right. Thank you for the call. We appreciate it.

Yep. Bye. Shannon, are you feeling better? Yes, thank you. Oh, wow, thanks. We're very concerned. We want to make sure that everything is okay. Reese, did you shift the cameras to go outside?

I definitely did.

We got to have a mobile camera, like on a swizzle or something like that, if that ever happens.

I got a video for the story, and I recorded it on the video camera.

Okay. Nice.

Making sure. The final moment. One of these days, karma's going to catch up to Spike for all his phone scams. But laugh at it anyway. It's this morning at 6.50 on Mojo in the Morning.

It's time for more Mojo.

Back to Mojo in the Morning.

Is it bad to say that when a porch pirate strikes, that we wish for them that they fall into a hole and crack their head open? Anybody that steals the joy from somebody's front porch?

Especially at the holidays, this time of year.

You should face punishment. We don't even know if it's a present. It could be medicine. You know, that's the worst part. You don't know what you're stealing.

Yeah, they have no idea what the heck's in that box. Well, one got a surprise at one of your friends, huh?

So one of my best friends, Andrea, is a photographer. And she just did a boudoir suit for one of her really good friends. And if you don't know what a boudoir shoot is, it's like a very tasteful lingerie photo shoot. OK. And so my friend Andrea, the photographer, created this beautiful album for her filled with all of the boudoir photos. And I mean, you know, you're showing button boobs, at least a lot of button boobs, maybe not nude, but, you know, it's there. boxed it all up sent it to her and the girl was like i never got my my album and my friend andrea is like i got a confirmation that it was delivered it was absolutely delivered to your house and the girl went on her nest cam and saw that someone took it so this is twofold one this poor girl is so embarrassed that some stranger is looking at her booty and her boobs in this boudoir photo album and two could you imagine the porch pirates like what the heck did i get it those are expensive so expensive like you're hoping it's an ipad in the box you steal and instead it's a it's a photo album of like i want to know if you're the if you're the porch pirate

we have any porch pirates listening i want to talk to a porch we'll voice this guy yes i want to know, what would you do if you got this? I mean, do you keep it? Do you? Yep.

And you use it for your own personal enjoyment? To her husband for Christmas, which is such a great gift. I always love

the people that do this, that set up the Porch Pirates. They'll put like a box of poop. Dog poop.

They have the glitter bombs that they sell, too.

Yeah, it's a good one, too. But the bummer about that is that, you know it takes a long time to make those albums. It's not just about, oh, you stole the gift. It's like, oh my gosh, I can't do that all over again. It takes forever.

Thank God she has the proofs, right?

Or whatever they call them. Yeah, but still, like, if I were the one that had posed for the photos, I would feel so uneasy that

it was just floating around

out there for all to see. Those are on

the internet now. You think? Oh, 100%.

I would love to know what was stolen by the porch pirate and anything more embarrassing than that. Didn't Ellen have a story for us? Ellen, come on in studio for us. I love

stories at this time because my mom is definitely listening.

Wait, how do you know your mom's listening now?

Usually it's this time of the day, like early morning.

Hello, Mama Ellen.

Hi, Mama. She's so proud.

It must be good.

I ordered a toy on Amazon. I ordered a vibrator, and it got stolen off of my porch. Oh, really? Yep, so someone got a nice little surprise when they opened it.

You're a dirty girl. Where's Mama? Did Mom, Mom didn't order?

No, I do not live with my parents. She did not know until this moment.

Wow. Mojo in the morning, did we get a fun little gift from a porch pirate?

um i'm not a porch pirate but i saw my friend got a like her package stolen but she's a cosplayer and she was going to do like a george washington so she got like this ridiculous wig oh jeez

the wig back the porch pirate didn't want it so they brought the wig back that's great

it was like and it was like a giant package because amazon packaging is ridiculous and it It was, like, overseas from China, so they thought it was probably, like, a TV or something huge, and they literally brought it back.

That's amazing that they brought it back because they risked getting caught a second time.

That was nice of them, though, you've got to admit, because it's coming from China. I could never get it back.

They have the address of the girl who they sold. Like, I think they should just bring it back.

That's so nice. Nice porch pirate.

Well, it's so bold nowadays with ring cams and everything else that these guys go right out in the middle of the day and do it. Look at that. Ashley. I know.

Ashley. Yeah. You know.

Yes, because I call you that all the time. Go ahead. Ashley. Oh, my God. Ashley.

Oh, my God. Yes.

Hi. Let's refer to it as a derogatory name that you want to call a friend who you think is a butthead. Okay?

Okay. Yep. I had, my boyfriend wanted me to order something that my butt had. And they were definitely stolen off my porch from Amazon.

And again, they were what? You can say the word, what it is. What was it? They were my butt plugs. The butt. Oh. The porch pirate got your butt plugs. Yes. What's the name that you call? Ellen's mom's listening right now, guys. I'm a little embarrassed.

Yeah. What's that, Mike? What was the name that you said that you called? Shannon. That's what I'm doing. You threw me off with that one.

I say, Shannon, you butt plug. It's kind of like, you know, you dork. I love you, too. Yeah. Wow. What do you think the porch pirate thought when the porch pirate's opening up the box and going, where do these go? I hope they're mortified. Are there directions, by the way, that come with them? Because I would love to know if there are any directions in those.

Why? Are you interested? For beginners. Yeah, maybe. Oh, yeah.

That's fantastic. What's going on, Manny? Hello, Manny.

Hey, Mojo.

How are you?

And everybody. Good morning.

Love you, too. Ho, ho, ho.

Hey, I just wanted to say I'm an Amazon driver, and I try to make sure that no package gets stolen. Like, every Amazon driver can put the package behind a tree, a trash can, something that you can't see it from the street.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the best way.

I mean, I'm sure some houses just don't have that, but that's nice of you.

Hey, quick question for you, Manny, the Amazon driver. Do you know when the package contains something like that last caller's package? Can you tell if it's going to be like a...

No, no, no. No, we can't tell nothing that's in the box. It just tells us the size of the box. And that's it. The address, that's it. Unless it's...

Occasionally, items will be shipped in their original packaging. Like, if it's a big box with a mixer in it, they might just have the mixer box. They might not put the KitchenAid in its own box.

Can you explain to me why they use such humungo boxes for such little items, too?

Yeah, I don't really know. I think that's really dumb, too. Sometimes they even put dog food in a box, which it's pretty awkward to carry a bag of food that's in a box.

Yeah, instead of just marking the bag. I guess they don't want it to break, but what's up, Lily?

Good morning.

Hi, we're talking about the Porch Pirates and the little fun things that they end up getting.

Yeah, my friend's Porch Pirates weren't getting the funnest of things, but her neighbors would steal her packages. And it was usually like unique shoes and different kinds of clothing you wouldn't normally see. And then they would wear them. And she would see her walking down the street wearing like her new tennis shoes that were like bright red or something. She was like, where'd she get those? and eventually it became a thing where she had to come up to this woman and be like, will you please stop stealing my packages? Wait a second. The companies don't believe me.

The neighbor was the porch pirate? Yep. And they were bold enough to wear the items that they were stealing?

Yep.

Oh, my God.

They would watch the house and take them before she got home from work, and then she'd wear them.

Oh, my God. That's bold. What a neighborhood, huh? Oh, yeah. Thank you for the call. Have a great day.

Oh, come all ye faithful. Well, there goes 85% of the population.

Merry Christmas from Mojo in the Morning. It's Mojo in the Morning. We, of course, getting ready for the holidays here and trying to be festive as can be. But sometimes there's some Christmas fails that happen in the process. And Mike and Reese have had Christmas decorating fails that they're going to talk about here right now. And maybe you can share with them your Christmas decorating fail that has happened. But, Mike, I feel for this guy. Mike works his ass off during the week Excuse my language Works so hard Wants to decorate his house for Christmas And Mike, tell us about your Christmas decorating fail

I have never had the opportunity to put lights on a place that I've lived So this is the first year I get to do that And we have some lights that we've had for years now And we tested them I test them before I put them up So I know how the lights work And I know when a bulb goes out I know all that stuff But what I didn't know is that it is a pain in the ass to get lights up on gutters, to get them situated perfectly, to get them the way that you want them. And then once you get them up there.

and plug everything in if there's a set out you have to go up there back up on the ladder take down all the lights redo everything everything that you strung through uh you know the the gutters and in the uh all the the fancy ways you try to set it up it is 10 times harder than what i thought so i went and did this this weekend um and i'm excited for it like don't get me wrong i love doing like i love going over the top for this kind of stuff and that's what i wanted to do so I set up all the lights I almost fell off the ladder like four times trying to do it and I'm the guy trying to get like my daughter into it and my wife into it I'm like look guys let's look hang up lights and they're like now we'll watch you from inside so I get all the lights up and I plug everything in and dead center in the middle of these lights for some reason these lights aren't working like just a part just a portion of these lights aren't working and I you guys I checked them like a million times like a million times before I put them up there And so now I'm like, screw it. Now I'm like, screw it. They're just staying up. I don't care. So, like, on my gutters right now, on my house, is, you know, this nice little light set up. And then halfway right in the middle, it's just dark. Like, there's nothing there. And then it comes back on right after that. And I'm like, screw it. It's staying like that. I don't care.

Oh, that sucks.

Poor Mike. It's frustrating.

I only had half of my lights last year, Mike, because I thought I was so proud of myself. and I attached them to this device that I could control with a remote from inside my house. Well, my neighbor had the same damn thing. So when she turned her lights on, mine turned off, and vice versa. And finally, I was like, screw it. I'm just done.

Well, everything comes from China. It's from the point where we should just look at these lights as disposable, you know? And know every other year, you're going to have to replace half of them. It's expensive, though, if you're doing the whole house. Yeah, can be. And the worst part is when they work when you hang up, and then, like, two days later, they die. And you're like, I just put them up. It's like, let me know before I hang them that they're going to be dead, and I'll put new ones up.

I didn't know that the house ones were so tough. Like, I've seen the yard displays, and those seem to be a little bit easier. Maybe I'm wrong there. But, like, the stuff on the house is really kind of hard to put up.

There's so many injuries every year. And you don't want to go in a hospital this year. I mean, you don't ever want to go in a hospital.

But, Grace, you also had your Christmas fail, right?

I had a very similar situation. so I basically went to go take my sister's old Christmas tree because I got this apartment now I finally have space to put a tree up I go get this tree I bring it over I spend the entire day Saturday setting up this tree just to find out the entire middle section is burnt out

No!

So I guess I could put some ornaments around the middle and try to figure it out but it's not looking too good

Reese, I think you just What you try to do in that case Is just throw a whole bunch Like a strand of lights on there Like one empty strand Or just leave it that way And just tell everybody when they come over to your house To enjoy it that they maybe are a little high What are you guys high? The lights are right there You can see the lights

Exactly

Can you guys picture Mike And then think of Clark Griswold And a Christmas vacation because Mike is Clark Griswold. Yeah, he totally is. We've got to get you the entire outfit, the hat, and everything, Mike, as you're decorating that Christmas tree there.

I think you're going. Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun old bathroom at Christmas. No, no, we're all in this together. Full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're going to press on, and we're going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby's tap dance with Danny Fincage. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney night, He's going to find the jolliest bunch of holes this side of the nuthouse.

That's me going, Cecily, Cecily. Okay, grab the clips. I have clips. Grab them. Okay, grab them. We're going to put it on the – Dad, I just want to look at my tablet. No, no, no, no. This is going to be fun. Allie, Allie, Allie. Mike, it's cold outside. Why do we have to do this right now? Because I'm here right now, and it's sunny right now, and we have to do this right now. They're like, couldn't we do this tomorrow? And I'm like, no, no. Because every weekend until Christmas, I want to do something Christmassy. You know what I mean? I want to do, I think we're going to see Santa. We're doing Christmas pictures.

He sounds like Clark Griswold, doesn't he, right now?

He totally does, and I love it. Maybe it's driving back and forth. This year, I'm like, but I feel like I've always had that Christmas spirit.

Hey, Michelle.

Good morning.

Give this man some advice. You can help him with those lights.

And Reese, too. I always have a pre-lit Christmas tree that has lights that go out. So I went out and bought that Christmas tree light gun, and I would say 75% of the time I can get lights.

The guys locally here at English Gardens gave me one a couple years ago. I think I might still have it, Mike. I can give it to you when you're in town tomorrow.

Okay.

Yeah.

Sometimes you just have to click it, like, up to 30 times or try a different bulb. Like, if the one you were trying didn't work, go down the line and find another bulb. You just pull it out. You plug this thing in, and you just stand there clicking, and people are like, what the hell is that noise? I'm like, it's just me with the light gun. But it works

Yeah it will make the There's probably like a fuse thing or something That happens in there And it causes the lights to come back on Mike They'll probably come back on for you

That would be incredible I just hit that point You know when you hit the point where you've done it For like hours and hours and hours And it took you forever to get it up Where you just go I don't care It's staying like that That's the point I hit Hey Christy what's up It's Mojo in the morning

Hi Okay so I had bought a Santa's play blow up And those things are hard to keep still anyways. And I had this whole idea that I put it on my roof, and if it flew around, it would look like it was the reindeer were flying anyway, so everything would be okay. That's not what happened. I ended up getting a text at work from my neighbor saying that my Santa looked like he was falling off of the roof, and he looked like he crash-landed. And it's been so windy that now he's just unplugged, and I'm not staying up there and fixing it.

I wonder how many people with the windy, you know, weather that we've been having and lost some of their Christmas decorations.

Right, right. If it flies away, it's okay now. He's just, he'll be around town bringing the presents.

We're enjoying Christmas cheer. Linda, what did your husband do?

Well, the first year we were married, he wasn't really good at decorating, and he used scotch tape to put the Christmas lights on. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wait, this is the best story I've heard all morning.

They must have lasted one day.

When we got home, we went bowling. When we got home from bowling, all the lights were pretty much hanging on the ground.

Wow.

Don't tell Mike, don't feel so bad. It could be a lot worse.

That's right. We're going to get Mike that little gun thing. The only problem is if it's a lot of lights, Mike, it's a lot of... Yeah, you sit there forever. ...trying to figure out which light it is, going through it. All right. Are you laughing at your husband's fail or Mike's fail or both?

Oh, I'm laughing at both fail. I just sit in the house and I go, well, you know what? It's not my job. It's too cold out there. You do it. I'll be sitting in the house.

My Christmas tree isn't the only thing getting lit this year.

So drink up. And up. Merry Christmas from Mojo in the Morning.

Let's do a phone scam right now on Mojo in the Morning. Spike is going to phone scam Tiffany, who works at U-Haul, to see if he can rent a truck so that he could take a few dead bodies to the cemetery. See what her reaction is to that. It's Mojo in the Morning Phone Scam.

We will, we will scam you. Sorry, it's a catchy song. It's your home of phone scams. Mojo in the Morning.

Thank you for calling. Moving into storage. This is Tiffany speaking. How may I help you?

Hey, Tiffany, it's Pauly Walnuts down at Irvine Cozzarelli Memorial Home. How you doing, Tiffany?

I'm good, thank you.

Good. You're doing better than me. You guys have any moving trucks available for this afternoon?

Oh, I can see. And for today?

Yes, this afternoon as soon as possible. I got two funerals tonight and one more internment in the morning. So I could get your truck back in like 24 hours.

Okay. What size truck did you want?

It only needs to be about six feet long in the back.

Okay. I said 24 hours. So it's $19.95 plus 79 cents a mile. It's also a $1 environmental fee.

And is that refrigerated then? No. Do you have any refrigerated trucks? No, we do not. Yeah, see, I wasn't sure. My cousin Travis says he lived in one of your trucks for three months last summer, but he's Whiskey Tango, a little, you know, WT, white trash. So I never knew when to believe him.

He might have. I mean, it might have been a little, I don't know.

Well, here's what I need. You tell me what kind of truck you have. I got to get, for the funeral home here, I got to transport the dearly departed to the memorial service and then to the Garden of Remembrance where the earthly remains were interned in their final resting place, blah, blah, blah. Because our hearse, you know, it blew up. My manager, Joey, forgot to get an oil change on the thing. Oh. Yeah, he's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. Me neither. so i need a truck in the worst way to get these bodies over to the church and you know and then back here to the home i mean because we just need a temporary meat wagon we don't need anything long term you know

Do you have any trucks that are, like, all black or all white, like, with no writing on the sides?

No, we don't. Even the vans have writing on the sides.

Oh, okay. You know, what are we going to do? Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Yeah, I mean, unless you wanted to do the van, which is not as boxy, and then the back is nine feet long.

Oh, that is perfect. It's smaller. Now, can I bring the corpses down with me and load them up once I sign the paperwork? because I'm behind schedule to get them to the churches.

Yes, you can.

And these poor guys, what do they know? Well, I guess I shouldn't feel bad for these guys. They'll be worm food by the weekend. They don't even know.

I know.

You know, they kicked the bucket. That's all she wrote. They're departing. I mean, they've checked out. They bought the farm. Dance the last dance. You know what I'm saying? They're taking a dirt nap. They're with the angels now. They've been called home, gone to meet their maker.

Yes, and they'll have a nice service. So that's all that matters.

They wouldn't even know if it was a good service. We could take them to Dairy Queen. They're terminated. They don't know. Or as I like to say, they're immortally challenged. You know, if you will, living impaired. But this will be great. I use the van. That's even cheaper than the truck, right?

Yes.

Oh, that'll save the family's money. Oh, my gosh. That'll save the family so much money. We could do this funeral cheaper and deeper, if you know what I'm saying. Put it on the credit card, and these guys will be worm food by the weekend.

Okay. Did you want me to go ahead on and do the reservation for you? That way that'll guarantee the van will be there for you?

Well, that depends. Would you want me to go ahead and tell you that you've just been the victim of a phone scam on Mojo in the Morning?

Oh, my gosh.

You must deal with some crazy customers down there.

I think you might be the craziest. We will, we will scam you. laugh all you want we'll get you eventually the world famous is the home of the world

famous phone scams this one better than the other one so you know we've always talked about cuffing season you know for years that was like where you just find somebody to hook up with and be your winter boyfriend or or girlfriend and i heard of a new one that i think i like better And actually, this one, tell me if you can guess this. It's winter coating. So the new cuffing season is winter coating.

What is that?

And this is a wild one because I want to know from people that do this. I want to know if you guys do this. It's when an ex comes back for the holidays or the cold weather months. And here are some highlights with this one. there's you know this term that has now kind of gotten named i think urban dictionary names all these things when the x comes back into the picture for the colder months but it's gone again when spring arrives kind of like what you do with your winter coat you put your winter coat on yeah for the winter months and then you discard it and get rid of it because spring comes around

I like this term so much better

Yeah, than cuffing

It makes a lot more sense

Because I didn't know what even cuffing meant I had to look it up as Okay, what's the definition of cuffing season? And I kind of like winter coating better Because it's kind of funny You can tell people If, you know, they're like Oh, so what you up to these days? Oh, you know, I'm winter coating And then you don't have to tell them anything more than that Oh, great, really? Okay, tell me about your winter coating You know what I mean? Like it kind of works out like that Yeah So are there any of our listeners that do this? Do you ever bring an ex back in just to kind of like for the moment?

Especially for the holidays, right? Like you want someone to do all the fun holiday activities with.

I want to throw this out there also. I read an article, a relationship article thing that was on Reddit. And I can't remember the stat, but it was like so many in like five people. it might have been like two and five people have an X that they could call it a moment's notice that if they said, Hey, do you want to come over and bang? They would come over and bang. It was like a crazy stat. It was like, Hey, do you want it? So it's basically like your F and X. All you do is you guys have, you know, or, or, or cuddle or make out or oral. I don't know. I just wanted to say, yeah, but, um,

that's crazy yeah isn't that wild although i i understand like i had a friend that used to do that and it was just like well we you both have in your head i want to deal with your craziness everything we hated about each other still exists but we're just getting together for the one thing we actually

liked about each other.

Yeah.

I wish I had this.

You wish you had the winter coating or the just... The F and X. An X that you could call that... Yeah, that you could just... Word of a curse accidentally. That you could do oral with.

Well...

She just wanted to say that, too.

Apparently. Well, that's what Mojo just said. Yeah, I think it would be convenient to not have the relationship but have the partner to fulfill a need when you need it. You don't actually have to spend time with them. That seems like my ideal situation.

I kind of think that that would be great too If you're single It's kind of like A live play toy It's like a live person That will just say hey you know what Let's just do this

I noticed that the guys are hotter during the winter time Because it's cuffing season And I feel like they're all getting on hinge

Is that what it is Do you think that You're thinking differently Or the guys are looking differently

That's a good point, because I am a little more emotionally secure.

Okay.

Let me tell you something, though. Like Mojo always says, sunglasses add points, beanies on guys. Oh, my God. A guy in a beanie is just, I can't, I need to be here.

And a vest. Guys who wear, like, like a winter vest, no?

The beanie.

For me, the guys who wear vests are. Oh, okay.

10 out of 10, guy with a beanie and a nose piercing?

Look at her.

Oh, you squeak.

She's getting tingly. She's like Oprah tingly right there, aren't you? Hi, Katie.

Hey. So I think that either cold weather Cody or coughing Cody sounds better than winter Cody.

Oh, winter. Wait, Cody. I was like, who's Cody? Who is this guy Cody? Where is he from? So you say instead of winter coding, it should be winter Cody.

Yeah.

Okay. All right. I'm Cody. I don't know. That's interesting. Do you have this? Do you have somebody that you have ever brought back in your life just for winter?

Oh, no. But I'm married. I've been married for a few years now.

How about before that?

um let's just say i had a very um healthy relationship uh life or a healthy uh sex life

i guess yeah okay all right i can hear the snapping mike mike it's working

i got mike snapping over there mike mike i've always been told i'm more attractive in the

winter and it's because i'm more covered up you can see less of me you know and the winter coat looks puffy and you just don't realize i'm overweight you know what honestly north faces

for some reason do it you know a north face or a canada goose or one of those all of a sudden man

put that sucker on and spike you yeah and maybe a ski mask goggles yeah how about remember when

you're a kid and you used to have like the full like suit that you'd go out to like throw snowballs With your friends and stuff like that or go sledding

Yeah, I can't put my arms down I'm also hotter than you put me on the ski lift Where I go far away, it carries me far, far away And you can't really see me close

Jennifer Good morning How you doing, what's happening We're talking about winter coating right now

Backwards hats and beards Really, we're still doing the backwards hat thing?

But beards, yeah

Yeah, something about a guy with a fitted hat

Wearing backwards with a beard Go to

There's a beard story that I just saw. Hold on a second. And it talked about this, that...

I'm loving some facial hair lately. Are you? Does Wes ever... He has been a lot. And it's so funny because every time he lets his facial hair grow, I obsess over him. But he kind of hates it because it's so itchy. He's not used to it. But now I'm like, oh, you got to keep it. I love it.

Oh, a well-groomed beard, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't let it go wild like Paul Bunyan.

Or just like facial hair, like letting your facial hair grow a little bit to me.

Yeah.

Super hot.

What's going on, Kim? How you doing? Good.

How are you?

Fantastic. We're talking about, yeah, we're talking about what is it about wintertime that makes guys look hotter?

I am with Shannon, Beanie, and also tattoos.

Beanies with a guy with tattoos? Yeah. And they look badass, you're saying?

Yes.

Yes, they do.

Yeah. Do you have, we were also talking about exes. Do you have like an ex that if you could call, if you called up, they would come over and take care of you?

Um, yeah, I have a few.

Really?

A few? Okay. Do you have all of them?

Are there different needs and different fulfillments? Like certain guys are better at certain things, depending on what.

you're in the mood for like one guy actually will help you move furniture around the house the other guy will help you yeah yeah that's it okay could you imagine by the way that you got that on the

list and you call the wrong guy well that's the problem like i want to be the move mountains in the bedroom guy but i'm going to be the guy moving the coffee table from the living room i need you

to change a light bulb a high light bulb for me uh thank you kim uh what's up taylor okay so for

For me, it's the beards and the Carhartt vest over, like, a long-sleeved Carhartt shirt.

So the beards and the Carharts. By the way, girls in Carharts are also hot, too. I'm not kidding you when I say this to you. I see a girl wearing a Carhartt, like, you know, hat. A hat, like the knit hat. I'm like, oh, she's cute. Wow, look at her.

That's funny. That's what I'm wearing right now. Oh, stop it. Stop it.

All right. You take care of yourself, okay?

You too. Bye.

All right. Thank you for the call. Michelle wants to say something to you, Spike. What's going on, Michelle?

Hi. Good morning, everybody. Good morning. I just want to say, Spike, you're so self-deprecating to yourself. And my God, you are so hot.

Oh, my gosh. Wow. Well, thank you very much.

And if Megan, I'm sorry, Megan. If you weren't dating Megan I would grab you myself

Wait a second You're talking about his girlfriend Megan I think you're talking about our Megan Hold on a second You would like to be winter coating with Spike Is that what you're saying

I absolutely would

Well baby I'm taken but You don't need a winter coat with me Because I'm growing enough back hair for the winter Enough to keep us both warm

There he goes self deprecating again Michelle

He needs to, you know, be proud of himself. He's so gorgeous.

You know what I've noticed about Spike? I've noticed that Spike, because I follow Spike at Radio Spike. I don't know if you do too, but you should.

I sure do.

This girlfriend, Megan, cooks for this guy all the freaking time. Oh, my gosh, yeah.

Makes me feel like the worst girlfriend in the world.

And I'm wondering, and this is just a thought. I don't know Meg as well as I know other people, But I'm wondering if she's trying to fatten you up so girls like Michelle don't flirt with you.

It's working. It's definitely.

See, I don't mind a little touch. It's okay. More to love.

Obviously, Meg doesn't mind a dad bod because I got two dad bods going on.

I mean, she makes everything from like Italian food to what other else on there. I see you.

She makes anything and everything.

Risotto the other day. Risotto. Squash risotto.

You are like She will spend hours in the kitchen Like it's her hobby She loves to do it It's just fun for her

Did you ever get the feeling That it's really not her hobby It's just her way To fatten you up a little bit To keep the ladies away

Well I notice She doesn't seem to mind That I've put on a few pounds For sure But See

Make a note what's up Make a note what's up

Can you cook Michelle?

I sure can

Oh wow Alright so instead of cuffing We're going to call it fluffing season. Fluffing season.

No, no, no, no, no, no. We got tired of being single and broke, so we turned things around. Now we're broke and single. Yay! This is Mojo in the Morning. Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea today. Spice phone scam is coming out. It's this morning at 7.50 on Mojo in the Morning.

All right, Mojo in the Morning, breaking and entering Christmas wish. Mike is out this morning. We are in Hamtramck, Michigan, and Mike, you are standing right next to Mrs. Roccozzi, one of the best teachers in all of America. How are you? Good morning. Good morning. Hey, how are you?

Yeah, here. The EC teachers and Grandma Sue and many friends around and good Hamtramck police officers, too, to help us.

I love it. All right, so I want to just real quick before we go up and surprise this family. I want you, Ms. McCrossey, to talk about this sweet little boy, Sebastian, and how Sebastian is obsessed with Christmas, right?

He is obsessed with Christmas and everything sparkly and animals. If you could glue those two together, you would have a perfect day for him.

How many years have you been teaching, if you don't mind? I know that's a personal question.

Oh, my gosh. I've been teaching kindergarten and first grade, and it's over about 31 years. Oh, my goodness.

And you and I talked, okay, what, a week ago or so? And when we talked to Mr. Cozy, you talked about how you have a very diverse class. As a matter of fact, in Hamtramck, it's a very diverse neighborhood. There's a lot of people that...

come from different countries. As a matter of fact, it's a lot of different languages, different religions. And Sebastian is, like, so excited about Christmas. He kind of, like, exemplifies what Christmas is all about and talks to his friends all the time about how much he loves Santa Claus.

Exactly. Exactly. And, you know, he's one of the few students in our school that celebrate Polish Christmas.

Oh, that's cool. I like it. So, you're going to hear in just a second the letter that Mr. Kosey is going to read for us about Sebastian's mom and how she was diagnosed with cancer. Hello. Hey, is this Kevin?

Yes, this is Kevin.

Hi, Kevin Mojo from Mojo in the Morning Show. Hi, Mojo. How you doing, buddy? How you doing? I'm doing fantastic, man. Kevin, I know you're a busy guy, and I know that you and Alex have your hands full there at the house, but I wanted to call you because we received a letter about Alex and about you and about your sweet Sebastian.

Okay. I appreciate it.

It's our breaking and entering Christmas wish that we do, and the beautiful lady who wrote this letter is going to read it to you, okay? Okay.

Dear Mojo in the morning, breaking and entering Christmas wish. My name is Janice Roccozzi, and I am a first-grade teacher in the Early Childhood Elementary in Hamtramck. I want to tell you about one of my students. His name is Sebastian. Sebastian and his family have had a rough couple of months. The school year started with devastation right off the bat. His mom was diagnosed with cancer. In addition, Sebastian's big brother has severe autism and intends a special school. In order to get mom to her appointment and his brother to school, Sebastian's dad and grandma spend long hours every day in the car, and that's on top of working to make ends meet. The family is in need of a new mode of transportation as they're currently experiencing car trouble, making it difficult to get mom to an appointment. They're also needing warm clothing, sensory items for Aiden, and truly just an opportunity to spend some quality time together. If I had a magic wand, I would be their fairy godmother and make all this happen for them. But Mojo, you have many more resources than I do, and you bring so much happiness to so many families. Please make this family's Christmas one they will never forget. Sincerely and so happy to be Sebastian's teacher, Janice Racozzi.

Mrs. Racozzi is a sweet lady, isn't she?

Wow, I'm speechless. I'm floored. I'm very thankful.

All our teachers are amazing. But Janice said, I wish I could be their fairy godmother. Well, she was this morning because she took the time to write that email and it got to us.

Yeah. Yes. Kevin, how is your sweet Alex doing right now?

She's doing good, right? She's here right now.

Is she?

Hello?

Yes. Alex?

Good morning.

Good morning, Alex. We're praying for you.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

How's everything been going? What are the doctors saying?

I actually see the doctor on the 14th of this month for a review of everything after my chemo on the 13th.

Kevin, I know you've been strong, but I know that it can't be easy with seeing the love of your life going through this and seeing your sweet children going through this.

Yeah, it's a lot. It's definitely something different.

Well, we want to make sure the kids have Christmas, okay? Okay. And I hope you guys don't mind this. Kevin, don't beat me up But we got a lot of people That are out in front of your house right now Would you mind if we come into your home at this moment As we break into your home To bring Christmas to you guys

No, I don't They're at the door Yes they are, we know We're one step ahead of you, Alex Hello Merry Christmas Hi Hi

Poor Alex is like, uh, you really didn't give me a chance to answer that question of whether

I didn't say yes or no.

I hear my pants.

Oh, look at this.

They came rushing to the door. They heard. They heard.

They heard. Who do we got there? We got Leland and Aiden, Sebastian. Yeah. Where's Leland?

We can come in. All right. Come on in, guys. Let's come in. Hello. Where's Leland? Hi, Leland. Aiden. Sebastian? Here's Aiden. Are you Sebastian? I'm Sebastian. Yeah. Look who we have here with us. We have all of your teachers, including a soon-to-be second-grade teacher, your kindergarten teacher, music teacher, a para-pro, all here to make your Christmas a little bit better. Does that sound good? Yeah. Yeah? That's my mom. That's your mom? Yeah. Hi, Mom. Hi, Mom. Merry Christmas. Thank you, guys, so much. sorry i i i told you it was from thank you mr cozi you're welcome oh i love this hey mike yeah are you guys on speakerphone so i

can tell these guys some of the stuff that's in all the boxes in the bags that we have for them yep i got them right next to me uh guys um alex kevin you're not you're not gonna have to worry about anything. Santa has arrived and we've got so much stuff for you. Sebastian, I understand Sebastian, you are Pokemon crazy.

Oh yeah.

So we got everything Pokemon for you, including Pokemon backpack, a Nintendo Switch with Pokemon games. We got all kinds of other cool toys, Pokemon figure pack, everything. And then Alex, we made sure that Sebastian had some nice warm clothes and fun things that he could wear at Christmas. Thank you

Alex, we're obviously

I don't even know what to say I'm going through a lot of people

Yeah, there's a lot of people there because we have a lot of gifts to bring in Obviously we're bringing in all the clothes and pajamas And jackets and shoes that your kids need The toys and games But also for you Your comfort Listen, I'm a big Michigan fan But your comfort comes before any silly rivalry I understand you're an Ohio State fan, aren't you?

Yeah, I am. I was very upset about that game.

Well, we'll try and, you know, we'll try and smooth it over. We're going to give you some Ohio State, a sweater and slippers and heated blanket. And we got an iPad that you can use during treatment. So you can watch the team rebound next year, maybe.

Yeah, most definitely.

And we also want to make sure that when you get through your treatments, that you have everything you need to kind of get comforted. And so we even put in a spa gift card there so that you have that.

A little spa day.

Yeah. You deserve that. It's really cool.

No, I know Leland and Aiden are there, and they're probably listening to us on speakerphone, and we did not forget about you guys. So we got all sorts of sensory toys for Leland. We got him a sensory chair. We know he loves soccer, so we got him some soccer stuff. Aiden, can Aiden hear us? Aiden? No.

No.

I don't want to ruin the surprise, but we heard.

Aiden's not a big fan of a lot of people, so he took off. Okay, that's okay. That's okay.

It kind of sounds like Megan.

Megan, did that sound like that?

We heard that he was dreaming and wishing for a Nintendo Switch. So along with everything else we got him, we put a Switch in there for him. Oh, my God. So I'm so excited for him to open that.

And Kevin, you're a Tigers fan.

Put Kevin on the phone, can you, Alex, so we can talk to Kevin real quick? Yes, I'm here. Kevin, yeah.

You're a Tigers fan, Kevin, so we can't forget you. We got you If you see one of those bags Has a Detroit Tigers hat And a Detroit Tigers blanket And oh A pair of tickets to opening day So you can go to the

Oh yes Just this time

My birthday's on April the 5th Oh it's perfect Big win for Kevin Love it Kevin can I

Great birthday present for me I appreciate you Thank you so much They're going to be good too Sebastian's not going to be in that day Just so you guys know Yeah

What a good memory for you guys to have.

Yeah, this is something to never forget. I really do appreciate you guys from the bottom of my heart.

You just stop it right now. We're not done.

Kevin, I will never forget how much my dad stepped up as a dad and a husband when my mom was battling cancer. And when I heard the story from Ms. Ricosi about how you have been stepping up in such a huge way, you remind me so much of my pops. This is like the most brutal time ever. Your beautiful wife's going to get through this And you guys are going to be so close As a family afterwards But I know that the bills and everything like that Has been a struggle Our friends at Kroger Are going to help you guys out with food and everything They're going to give you like a $500 gift card to fill up all your cupboards okay i appreciate it and thank you so much guys and we want to make sure that you have you know gas to get to and from treatments and taking sebastian leland aiden to school so we put 450 worth of gas cards in there we organized an entire

dinner and a movie date night for you and your beautiful wife so you guys can get out and have

some quality time together and our friends mark and chris over at a company called motor city pawn uh brokers they have locations all around town detroit warren roseville ferndale they're opening actually in 2023 in hamtramck they heard about you guys with your automotive issues and they heard what was going on here and so they wrote a check to break an end of christmas wish which we are going to endorse over to you for $5,000 to get some transportation.

Thank you so much, guys. I don't know what to say. Thank you so much, guys. I really do appreciate it. This really is going to help a lot. And I appreciate it. Thank you so much.

We appreciate you guys. We love you guys so much. And, Alex, we're praying for you. Um, we, one last thing, I know that we, this seems like a lot, but one last thing we want you when everything's all said and done to get away with your family. So we're going to send you guys on a trip as a family to Kalahari so that you guys can go and have a stay there and take the kids to celebrate, to celebrate Alex getting through this, uh, this time. Okay.

I appreciate it. Thank you so much. I know the kids are going to have a blast.

Oh, they will. And I want to say something, too, because, Alex, you said your next appointment with your doctor is December 14th, okay? And we believe in the power of prayer on this show. And just know how many millions of people you have that are going to be thinking about you on December 14th, okay? Thank you so much.

Mrs. Ricosi, you are amazing. Thank you for telling us about this family.

You're a fairy godmother today. Yes. Hello. Yes.

Hello, fairy godmother.

Yeah, the fairy godmother has tears. We all have tears.

Thanks to the Hamtramck Police Department, because we found out we over shopped. We had so many things to bring in the house. They volunteered to help us deliver Christmas this morning.

Yeah, they're the best.

Hey, Mike, turn it into a party, okay?

All right, on the count of three, I need everybody in the house. We have a police officer here, so it's okay, I promise. to give us a big Merry Christmas. You guys ready? One, two, three. Merry Christmas! This is Mojo in the Morning.

Good morning. Welcome to the Mojo in the Morning Show. Mojo, Spike, and Shannon, Megan, and Mike. Megan, how are you spending your Christmas? I know Thanksgiving, you didn't hang out with your dad at all. Are you guys going to do something for Christmas at all?

Probably not.

Oh, jeez.

I don't know. Who cares about him?

You love him. I feel like I'm sad about it. But you did, wait, you did see your dad because you did say that you stopped out.

Just for a hot second. No, I just, yeah, a hot second.

Are you going to buy him a gift?

No, and I'm actually boycotting him this year because I'm pissed at my father. I'm in a very weird mood today.

Why are you upset with your dad now?

Because this butthole, who I love very, very dearly, if you don't know, my dad is literally my best friend. We're very, very close.

And a butthole.

And a total butthole. And I know he's listening right now, so I'll say it again. You're a butthole. Hi, butthole. Honestly, Shannon, you probably just made his day. I love you. So this man has the audacity every year in December to buy himself everything he's ever wanted. And he ruins Christmas. Two years ago, we bought him something. And two days before Christmas, my brother had to return it and come up with something new. Because, yes, he bought himself his own gift three days before Christmas.

I said this the other day. I feel like I scream, stop buying spit all the time. to my friends and family. Like, stop. Now I have to take stuff back.

You were saying that because Andrew was buying things for the kids.

Andrew was buying things for the kids, for himself. Yes. It just drives me nuts. Stop it. Stop it. So for a... week and a half every single day around 7 a.m. I text my dad hey I still haven't had any ideas for you and this is really the first year where I usually have at least six backups but they're like our gifts are events like usually I'll get tickets to go to Cleveland to go see a show or we'll go to Chicago for the weekend or whatever it is so this is the first year where I don't have those backups like I can't be like here's a fancy dinner and a night out somewhere because it's not really happening so he's getting absolutely nothing and I don't care about it I'm not even feeling guilty

You are. That is a huge lie. You're feeling guilty I know you. That's why you're talking about

it. Your armpit's sweating

right now. We should call and see if Scott Mick would if there's anything specific that he hasn't bought himself that he would like Megan I think that this would be wonderful for you to finally do something nice for your dad

Finally like I don't ever do nice

things for my dad You have a great idea you since you have the most beautiful singing voice you can sing you'll be in my heart and we'll like produce it up in the studio

Have you heard this version

Standing right round like little boys do and in his hands he held a pair of crocs

what do you think for dad oh that's amazing i was like please don't play christmas shoes it makes me cry you like christmas shoes oh it's horrible i hate it the movie oh honestly it's one of those you know how disney has the vault or had the vault before disney plus Christmas shoes and that song and that movie Need to go in a vault somewhere And never come back out

Okay What do you stock up on at Christmas time?

Me?

Well, that was the topic But yeah, what is it that you stock up?

I was going to say, this is a weird way to get into it Because I'm obviously, I think, out of everybody here The most Christmas obsessed Which is weird because I'm also the most like I hate everything in the world But I am obsessed with the holidays specifically for flavors and i love companies that come out with stuff like obviously we got the starbucks and their holidays drinks and all those fun stuff and get a lot of pumpkin you get a lot of whatever and i think one of the most famous pop brands that have a flavored pop is cranberry sprite which is my brother's oh yeah yeah i i didn't even think it existed until last year because i couldn't find it anywhere it's so popular but have you seen the new coke christmas product no what is it fam there is a cinnamon flavored coke and i nope nope i bought it thinking this is either going to be amazing or the worst product ever created and i will put my stamp of approval it is the best coke i have ever had in my entire life really doesn't bring it what does it taste like i will never buy another coke product again if they so it's not just they decorate the can and make the can look festive i swear to god while you're drinking it It tastes like normal, as Ellen would say, full-fat Coke.

Full-fat Coke, yeah.

Normal, full-fat Coke. And then as soon as it's done and you get the aftertaste, it's literally just warm cinnamon. It tastes like... Not spicy, not hot, just warm. Warm cinnamon. But it's only an aftertaste. You can't taste it, like, while you're drinking it. And it is amazing.

It sounds like a Captain and Coke.

Or, like, mix it with Fireball type of thing.

Yeah, yeah.

Ooh, I didn't even... You guys, who's the alcoholic on this show? You two. Mike and I just looked at each other

Now you turn me Okay, I'm interested

Wait, so did you stack up? Oh yeah, I cannot find it in anything Other than the 12 ounce plastic bottles Okay, I'll look for some for you Oh, I would love you forever Because I bought everything they had in my Kroger I literally emptied the shelf So good, if they don't bring it back I'll never support Coke again I shouldn't say Coke addict But Coca-Cola addict

Hold on a second. I'm looking up, by the way, Christmas Cokes. And everything that comes up is just the fat Santa Claus, the old one. But, oh, Christmas Coke flavor. Oh, yeah, I remember the Christmas Coke bottles.

Spike, you and I were just talking about something that I wish they had all year, and it's the red and white swirled Hershey Kisses. The peppermint, like, white chocolate.

They have little tiny pieces of candy cane in them. I love those so much. A little mint in with your chocolate.

I love that and butternut squash mac and cheese from Trader Joe's.

I wish they had all your I put them on the kitchen table thinking, you know, the girls might want to have one here and there. Like as Natalie sitting there doing her homework and essays, I ate all of them. I don't even know if the kids got to see that. I bought them because I ate the whole bag. I like the.

I'm a huge candy cane type guy And I like the big And they sell them usually It's weird At office supply stores I have no idea why it is I know what you're going to say But it's the big plastic box Of just round candy cane Chunks That melt in your mouth

They're like chalky though They're so good That's what's so good about them But they melt in your mouth

They're called like bobs And for some reason They sell them at like Yes, staples

Staples and office max Because they never go bad They sit on the shelf forever Yeah

You're the most popular person at the office. Oh, they have the commercial. LeBron's in the commercial.

It's the thirstiest time of the year. Look at that. Cranberry Sprite. I had just one query. Jamie Foxx? The answer is clear.

T-Pain and I think Jamie Foxx, yes, performing.

Of the year.

Oh, no. A hip-hop artist, Dram, performing that. Megan, we just had a second ago Rachel on from Kroger. We should have asked her if she could find out if she can get you a big old, like, that would be the best Christmas gift ever for Megan. A pallet. Like a pallet, yes, full of it. Gabby.

Hey, Megan. I have been getting that Coke for, like, two months. I have a 12-pack of cans of it in my fridge right now.

Oh, are you going to share? Oh, look at cans.

Yeah, they're cans. I like cans by the bottles because they stay fizzy.

Delicious.

That is really true, by the way.

They got that burn, too, that little burn when you take the first drink.

Yep.

Wait, are you calling up to just brag that you have that? Or are you calling up to say that, hey, you'll share maybe one or two cans with Megan?

No, I was just letting her know there's cans available. I got it at Meijer's. Okay.

All right. So is cinnamon coke the next pumpkin spice? Are we going to see this in all the pops now?

I don't know.

Okay, I'm going to have to try it.

People are talking about rum chata. Oh, I love rum chata. And fireball. You mix them together.

Yes, it's a cinnamon toast crunch. Chata, don't limit yourself, girl. That's a big highball glass. Does anybody drink rum chata in July on the lake? No, in July, I put it in my coffee in the morning. Could you put it in eggnog? Would it be good in eggnog? or would it be too creamy? Well, here's the best drink.

By the way, how did you pronounce eggnog again?

Eggnog.

Eggnog? Nog. Did you say eggnog?

I'm sorry, Illinois.

I know. Shut up over there. No. No, no, no. It was the fancy version of how to say eggnog. Yes.

Take the rum chata.

I don't say eggnog. But I still need a bit of milk, full fat, which I've warmed in the micro-wave.

The micro-wave. Yes. Eggnog.

Eggnog. Okay, so what do you do with your rum chata?

You take your rum chata, you take some hot buttered rum, and you take some eggnog. You throw the eggnog in the trash and you drink the other two. No one should drink that. You don't like it? No, it is glue. Guernsey eggnog. It tastes like feet. Now I'm self-conscious about how I say it.

They sell, by the way, they sell the alcohol eggnog at Costco. They have it there.

You got to go local. I'm going to say it like N-A-W-G. Yeah, eggnog. That's how I pronounce it my whole life.

Eggnog. I like eggnog is not even a drink eggnog you don't need the put in your alcohol just have

the alcohol one of the other things I love of the season too is uh is in somebody just text us somebody just text us uh you ever eat those giardelli chocolate squares I had them this weekend texter here 248 says the giardelli peppermint bark squares are back

Target has tons and tons and tons of them.

Delicious. That's so good.

Tarche has tons of them.

Maria. Yes. You have a drink for Megan to try.

Yes.

Go ahead.

You're mixed in half cinnamon Coke and half corned oil apple. I call it a sliced apple pie.

Wow. Megan, have you ever, do you use it as a mixer?

I've never, you guys, I'm not a drinker. So as soon as somebody was like, fireballs, that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. So, no, please keep sending in your mixing into it. Maybe I should do a whole taste test video where I can go online and just get really drunk and chase it with cinnamon coke.

I think that would be good. I think we should have listeners put together their favorite Christmas cocktails. Yes, I love that. Maria, we will put you here as the cinnamon coke and crown apple. And again, what is it called?

Spiced apple pie.

Spiced apple pie. All right. Thank you so much. All right. Bye. This is a special Christmas edition of the Senseless Survey. Mr. Bob Dobbelin.

is taking a little vacation. Spike, who is filling in for Mr. Bob Dabalina?

It's Yukon Cornelius. Remember him from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Let's hope that they don't remember him.

It's time for an official government survey. It's Mojo in the Morning Senseless Survey.

Here's me. This is Yukon Cornelius calling from the U.S. Senseless Bureau. Just a couple quick questions and a 30-second survey for your country. Starting off with, are you done your Christmas shopping yet?

Yes.

Have you mailed your packages early so that your post office can lose them in time for Christmas? No. And since she has some time in the off-season, would you like to see Mrs. Claus on Dancing with the Stars?

No.

How would one go about getting bloodstains out of a Christmas sweater?

Cold water.

Have you asked Santa for an official Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle?

Yes. I had one. You did have one. Yeah. Did you shoot your eye out? No, I shut the streetlights out.

Do you know what the nog in eggnog is? No. It's actually egg yolks, kind of cheese, and feet, I believe. Do you like it? Do you ever drink it?

Oh, eggnog's excellent. You do like it. Eggs and, of course, some rum.

I prefer my alcoholic drinks without the curdled milk and Elmer's glue in it. Do you think Santa is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live? He should be if he isn't. Would you date a girl whose nickname in college was the Nutcracker?

I would date her first.

You think Frosty the Snowman has private parts? Oh, absolutely. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, are you the Charlie Brownest? No. And aside from Rudolph, which was your favorite reindeer? Prancer. You like Prancer better than Nixon and Dancer, Vomit, and Stupid?

Oh, yeah. Tucker and Wolf Blitzen? Let us not forget Wolf Blitzen now.

Would you go to a dentist if his name was Hermie and you found out he used to be an elf that didn't want to make toys? Probably. Do you think the song White Christmas is racist?

Absolutely.

Would you ever secretly wish Cindy Lou Who would just kick the Grinch right in the scrotum? That's right. Would you play Jeopardy against the three wise men?

Yeah.

Because, I mean, if they were so wise, I guess why didn't they have GPS?

And the truth.

If I said, ho, ho, ho, would you say, what, what, what? No. Do you think people who are afraid of Santa are claustrophobic?

Probably.

Ever slide down someone's chimney?

Oh, but of course.

Ever stub your mistletoe?

Ooh.

Ever hang your G-string by the chimney with care?

No.

What's more offensive, bah humbug or go f*** yourself?

I think that's sad.

F*** you. Ooh.

Wow By the way Greatest voice in the world I know I thought that was The Grinch for a second Man We've done this topic before and we've gotten very funny responses from people. But this would be a good topic to do right now. I know a lot of people have their trees and are doing, you know, fun things with their trees. Spike, let's do that topic that you brought up a couple years back. The strangest thing that you topped your Christmas tree with. Not a star, not an angel, but something else.

Yeah, there's always good calls for this. And I got a lot of messages after I shared my Christmas tree on the Mojo on the Morning Instagram. A lot of people were like, what was that up on top of the tree? what is that it's uh a star from super mario brothers and you know mario kart and so i found a lady on etsy that like 3d prints ornaments and can like make anything you ask for so i'm like all right let me get a little gamer uh christmas tree top or a little spin on top of the tree and i got so many comments asking about it and everything i thought all right let's bring it up on the air strangest thing on top of your christmas tree because i remember listeners calling in with funny stories about beer cans uh you know last year of course everybody's talking about the stupid covid mask on top of the tree which i don't know why

You'd want to do that. I want to forget about it on that night. But what is it that's on your tree? Or what is your tree itself? Some people don't even use a tree. They put up a... Decorate like... Decorate a trash can or a beer keg or something. Ladders. Yeah.

We saw one year.

I always think that's fun because we get funny answers and it's just something different when you go into someone's house and you kind of expect to see a Christmas tree in the corner. Instead, stack of wine bottles.

One year we decorated. Chelsea has a cactus in our house because she's from Arizona, and we decorated the cactus. I'd love that. Yeah. Yeah. So 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548 is our telephone number. What do you have instead of a tree, and what do you have on top of your tree?

One of my friends has no tree as of right now because he's an idiot. And I didn't even know that this happened, but he went out of town this past weekend, and normally he and his family put their tree in like the same spot like do you guys have a designated spot i know every year you put your christmas tree in the same spot and so this year he decided first of all they decided they were putting it up early and then they decided that they were going to put it in a different place than they normally do so family goes out of town this weekend they come home on monday morning and he went to water the tree and as soon as his body brushed up against the tree, all of the needles fell off. And he couldn't figure out what he did. When they moved the tree, he put it next to a vent. Oh, that's bad. Oh, it dried it out. And it dried it out. And he said, every effing needle fell off that tree. So he dragged it out to the curb. And no Christmas tree this year.

He's not going to go get a new one? He's not going to get a new one.

He's like, I am done with the tree. It's just him and his wife. They don't have kids. So he's like, I don't really care.

That's funny. Mojo in the morning. Hey, what's going on, Megan?

Hey, what's going on?

Hi. What do you have on top of your tree?

I have a Nerf football on top of my tree. Wait, why? So my brother and I grew up playing sports. He played football. I played basketball. And my parents always had two trees, like a nice one and then like a sports-themed one. and just with ornaments from growing up in our childhood, all sports-related. And so I just carry that on for my son now, who's 10, that plays sports.

Oh, he's got to love that, too. Unless he wants to play catch with that football.

I know. Then it becomes a problem.

Yeah. Then he's like, Mom, can I have my ball back? Andrew, what's happening?

What's happening, guys? Good morning.

How are you doing? What kind of tree do you guys got?

Well, we have a tree of disappointment every year.

The tree of disappointment, the lions. That's beautiful. We have a lion's helmet on top of our tree. Oh, that's great.

That is beautiful. You guys sent us a picture of that. I want to post that up on our Instagram and Facebook.

I will. I'll get one when I get home.

A picture. We live it. What's up, Audrey? Yes. Hi. So what do you got on your treetop?

We do a golden snitch. Oh, that's cool. Oh, yeah, good one.

So a little themed tree for Harry Potter?

Yeah, the kids are a little obsessed. You know, we frequent Universal Studios, and so try to keep the magic alive. We are not there.

Kind of sparkles like a star up there. Amanda.

Hi, yes. We have a six-foot palm tree that we decorate. Oh, that's fine. I'm curious in this year, we've kind of been going to Florida every six months, kind of hopefully keeping a rotation. So I'm like, you know, let's do something different. And we have a palm tree now.

And yet you live here, right, in Ohio or Michigan?

Doesn't looking at the palm tree just make you miss the warm weather, though?

Yeah, and then we leave in January, and I don't have to take it down because it's still a picture.

That's true. What do you have, Dylan? Hi. Hi, Dylan. Uh-oh. Dylan's got Bluetooth that's bad. Dylan can't hear us? Airpods up on top. Is that what it is?

Can't hear us.

Dylan? Dylan? No, Dylan. We'll go to Erica. Hi, Erica.

Hi. How are you guys?

Good. So we're talking about what do you decorate instead of a tree or what do you have on top of your tree? This is a friend of yours?

Yeah. My best friend, Kate, hung her tree from her ceiling last year. I love that.

Did she do it upside down or did she do it the right way? She did it upside down. Upside down.

I've heard a lot of people do that. I don't know how that became a trend about four years ago, but so many people do that.

I know. It's crazy. I have a picture. I don't know if there's somewhere I could send it if you guys want to see it.

Yeah. You know what? I love that it kind of doesn't take up space then, too.

Well, that's why a lot of people do it. She wanted to do it again this year, but it was a big pain in the butt.

And if you have animals, like our animals always want to pee on the tree. They're always wanting to go over. And Chelsea ended up this year, she found this metal thing that's on the bottom of the tree instead of like a tree skirt. Because the dog's been peeing on that thing for many years. What's up, Melissa?

Hi. So my tree, my dad passed away six years ago. And we love him And we miss him and we want to keep his spirit alive So I have his Harley Davidson Santa hat on the top of our tree Oh that is very cool

What a way to remember dad That's the coolest And does your tree have a little rock and roll flavor to it too With him having that hat on top

Yeah We have a lot of his memorabilia And he's in spirit with us And we love it To know that he's With us for Christmas Let's even know he's not here with us, though. That's awesome. That's awesome. Great.

Somebody said that they, I don't know if this is one, the one, a texter, we were calling some of the texters back. Somebody said they hang thongs from their tree. That's not you, is it, Jennifer?

No, that's not me.

What do you do on your tree?

We have the Thanos gauntlet on top of our tree.

What is that?

The Thanos gauntlet. Oh, yeah.

Thanos from Marvel Comic Universe.

Oh, Thanos, yeah.

That's why I didn't hear what she said.

Yeah. Who's the big fan?

Actually, it's my son's, but to be honest, his dad's just a big old fan.

That's cool.

That's really cool.

I like the thong idea, too. Would you ever think about doing that, or do you think your son would be too embarrassed?

You know, he's getting older, so maybe next year.

What's going on, Dave?

Yes, sir.

Good morning, Mojo.

Good morning, Dave. What do you got on top of your tree, buddy?

I've got a two-foot-long piece of pickled ring bologna. It's marked off like an advent calendar. okay this is by far the strangest one what's what you had a taste and is it good i feel like my dad would love that yeah he probably would

you know marley has toilet paper hanging from your tree yeah so it was a friend of a friend

i went to a party with my girlfriend um that we went to this guy's house and it was like a boy's like it was all guys that lived there and they wrapped the tree with toilet paper and then like it was still attached and like through the hole of the toilet paper that's what sat on top of the

tree wow that you know what that's by the way the most valuable stuff you can hang because it's hard

to get these days too right yeah well that's the thing it's a hot ticket item but like i mean i give them credit for even decorating a tree in a house of like boys yeah so like wait forever what

What do they do if they run out of toilet paper in their bathroom? Do they run out there and just grab it right out the tree?

I guess you just take a square as you go. Genius.

Genius move. Thank you for the call. I appreciate it. Have a Merry Christmas. Take care. Take care of yourself. You too. Bye. Christmas lights and coworkers. They hang together, but only half of them work.

And the other half really aren't that bright.

Merry Christmas from Mojo in the Morning.

Yesterday, I felt so bad when we did the contest, tackle the tree, you know, do it live for a PS5.

Did you really feel bad?

Well, I did feel so bad because let me tell you how bad I felt. So the mom that came in, you know, second place, because basically it was two moms. One person ended up dropping out and then one person did like a half-hearted attempt at tackling the tree. The other mom we had found out afterwards was trying to win the PS5 for her son who has leukemia.

Oh, jeez.

So we ended up getting them a PS5. So both of those moms ended up getting PS5s. Wow. That's how bad it is. So anybody that calls the Grinch the Grinch, understand that the Grinch has a heart.

And follow up, we apologize to Mojo's son. You're not getting your PS5s.

I unplugged it

Put it back in the box

I took it with me But you know what I was hoping that nobody Ended up hurting themselves I saw a picture of the mom that was the winner That tackled the tree

Was that her knee or her elbow? It was all scraped up

She got all scraped up She ended up falling right on the tree But did you guys know this Did you guys know that The tree is the number one way that people injure themselves during the holidays?

Really?

Yeah.

Like climbing up to the top of it to decorate it or what?

Or something that falls off of it and ends up breaking and you're not knowing about it and stepping on it. Poked in the eye, getting poked in the finger. Tree-related injuries are always the injuries that happen during the holidays. But I wanted to know what else during the holidays has injured you. I would like to ask...

What are the worst Christmas injuries that you have ever sustained during this time of the year? 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548.

I had a lot of close calls on the ladder hanging lights, you know, because my neighborhood's very beautiful but also very competitive. The dads get a little boastful with the lights every year. Every house has to outdo each other, and so that causes you to go overboard, and I would get yelled at every year because I'd be trying to reach places I shouldn't be reaching, and get higher on the trees and put out more lights than ever before. And that ladder gets slippery in the cold weather.

I think for me, the biggest injury that I had was when my wife saw me kissing somebody underneath a mistletoe. That was kind of a bad injury. No, actually, the injury that got me the worst was when my family decided that they were going to go Christmas caroling and wanted us to go Christmas caroling door to door to neighbors' homes when we were spending Christmas in Chicago at my sister's house. And I ended up slipping and falling on a person's front porch.

No, you didn't.

And ended up literally smacking my head. I thought I'd cracked my head open. At first, I turn and I look. I go, oh, my God. I saw blood on the ground on the snow. And it wasn't. It was the reflection of the lights off their house on the snow. And I'm like, oh, my God. It's one of those things where the blood just goes and comes right out. But it was actually just the reflection of the lights.

You want to know what mine was? Yeah. My biggest Christmas injury was last year. It was the mental anguish that I suffered of putting together the LOL doll ski Shelly. Oh, jeez. I'm still not the same. You're right. That's no joke, Shannon. Why am I in therapy this year? You think it's from a divorce. It's not. It's those damn LOL dolls.

It's no joke. The death plastic they wrap kids' toys in probably causes more major injuries.

It took me like four hours to get that thing together. Anybody lost a finger?

I know somebody got stitches from those things. Really?

Yeah.

That plastic that Barbies and stuff are in those toys Ridiculous There's been times where I just said

Let's just give up on this toy Give it back to Santa

It's stronger than metal

Eve

Hi I wiped out on one of my kids toys And my little toe ended up being Perpendicular to my foot Oh my god

What toy was it

It constantly I think it was one of those Building block things It's not a Lego but it was like one of the bigger ones

Oh my god

And my kids Yeah and now it permanently just sticks out

Oh jeez They didn't put it back What's up Taylor how you doing Good

Good morning guys

Hey what was the worst injury from the holidays

Well Not only every year do I slip on the ice On Christmas and hurt myself but also when i was like probably 12 years old i flipped on one of my brother's toys and i fell and i cracked my head open and i ended up in the hospital wow i think the toys are the

the big injury finds they're the most injured thing yeah and when you you know when you tear

through all the gifts too there's just stuff all over the floor all day do you remember what toy

that was it was some kind of ball or something i don't remember he was probably like five and so it was probably one of those big huge bouncy balls that i fell over and i hit my head on the window

so ouch uh what's up cindy hi um so several years ago my kids were little and we had a new puppy in the house and we had left out the you know um chocolate chip cookies and milk for santa claus and so when we went down there was a little bit of the cookie left and my puppy tried to eat the chocolate chip cookie and we thought it was gonna die because of that so i started screaming like get the chocolate chip cookie away from the dog and my daughter got it by the dog And then she saw herself bleeding, and she passed out and thumped her head on the ground. Oh, jeez.

Oh, my God. Chain reaction.

So she missed pretty much all of the present opening because she felt horrible. Wow.

They actually say that Christmas is one of the bigger times of the year where people have to go to the emergency rooms. They have to make sure that they have staff that's there because people will injure themselves. And obviously, trees and presents, you know, are some of the biggest reasons why they're injuring themselves. And alcohol is probably another big reason. The other one, too, is a lot of times on Christmas, you know, if you're not a, if you're not a good, you know, I'm going to say a good cook. If you're not a person that cooks regularly, like if you're not somebody that knows what you're doing, and then all of a sudden you start cooking, and next thing you know, they say fires happen a lot on Christmas.

Is that you, Megan?

That's me. I've set my oven genuinely aflame three times. Really? Oh, yeah. I can't cook.

Did you see the story, by the way, about the dad? This is actually kind of funny. The dad who did the elf on the shelf, he actually found the elf on the shelf in the oven and put it in the oven. And then they turned the oven on, forgetting that the elf on the shelf was.

There were three of them, I think, in there. There was like a trio of elves. Oopsie, crispy the elf.

If you answered awesome to the question, how are you doing today? You're either drunk, practicing your sarcasm, or you're about to go on vacation. Welcome to This is Mojo in the Morning.

I went and got my first pedicure since summertime. Do you know how bad my feet were? How nasty were those feet? Well, let me just tell you this. The guy, and I say guy because this is interesting. This is why I bring this up. The guy had to, like, really scrub hard on my feet. And in the end He had a towel at the bottom And he had to shake the towel out Into the garbage can With all the dead skin It was crazy It was awful But we have our Mojo and the Money Misfit And he's going to be mad Because I cheated on him Because he wasn't right around where I was going I was like, you know what I'm just going to go somewhere quick So I ended up on my way home Just stopping off at this place

You'll just go to any place?

Oh yeah

How do you know they're good and they're not going to hack you up?

Because I figure if I look inside and I see people sitting in the chairs, they're good. And they had a lot of people sitting in the chairs. So I walked in and I said, hey, how long do you think for a pedicure? And the guy goes, oh, right now. And he puts me in one of these great chairs, you know, these really comfortable chairs at the bowl in the bottom and stuff like that. And you can kind of like get massages and stuff. And then I'm expecting that one of the ladies is going to come out and she's going to do my feet because I've never had a guy do my feet before. I've had guys do other things, but not my feet. So he comes back and he starts doing my feet. And I'm like, oh, this is going to be interesting. And not that I – listen, I'm not homophobic or anything like that. I have no problems with this. Although I feel like I needed to give him a kiss afterwards because he was so good. He massaged my feet For the longest time I've ever had Like a massage And there's two places on my body That I love massages I love massages on my feet and my head I would rather have that than on my back But He did like this amazing job And I'm telling you I have really bad toenails Like I have ingrown toes, nails

Why is this part of the story?

Well because I was complimenting him the whole time. And the whole time I'm like, you're really good. I mean, you're like the best I've ever had. And I'm like telling him how great everything is. And the guy that's so there's a guy sitting in the chair right next to me. And what I didn't know was his wife was getting a manicure. He was getting a pedicure. And so they were going as a couple and he leans over to me and goes, I'm glad you got you got him because I didn't want my wife to get him. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I leaned over to him. I go, I think you're going to want your wife to get him.

This guy is unbelievable. Never touched me like this

before. And he says, I don't like my wife going to guys. And I thought that that was really interesting. And the reason I bring this up is I wanted to know, are there any guys out there or any women out there that will tell us about their guys who their guys get really jealous if you have like a guy do your hair, or if you were going to go get a massage or a pedicure and you have a guy that's like the masseuse or the nail tech or pedicurist or whatever they would call them, are there any people that have that? Because that's really, really interesting. Because like I was saying, this guy was good. I went home, I told Chelsea, and she goes to the same person that she's always gone to, and she won't tell me who that person is. This is the funniest thing. So I call her up, and I said, hey, I'm leaving our lunch, and it's right around where her girl does the stuff. I said, who's your girl that does your nails? I'm not telling. I said, why is that? She goes, I'm not telling, because every person that I give you then becomes your person. And then you start giving them to everybody, and then I get screwed out of the whole deal. So she's like, I'm keeping things to myself. And so she won't give me the person's name. So I told her when I got home, I go, well, I got a guy that massages my feet like you would never freaking believe. And I'm not giving you to him.

Have you ever been to one of those places that only does foot massages?

No.

Not like a creepy massage place. I can't do it. I'm talking about a foot massage place.

Can I tell you why I can't do it?

Why?

Because I feel like if I walk out of the place, somebody's going to take a picture.

picture of me, and they're going to think that I went in there and got a hand job.

They really, they massage your feet for an hour. Really? And it's like, well, the one that I always go to when I, when my sister lived in Chicago was $30.

And they only massage your feet?

Just your, like your knees and under, knees and lower.

That seems shady.

It's not shady.

How much to go higher? You don't go higher. Come on. Mike, you know what I'm talking about.

I've done it so many times. You can go higher.

Yeah. I don't know. I drive by that Thai Massage on Northwestern Highway all the time. No, it's not that.

No, I know.

I know. But I drive by that Thai Massage, and I think to myself, any person that saw me walking out of that place would right away, just by listening to this show, go, oh, he went in there to go get himself. And listen, they're probably a very reputable business, but I just don't want anybody taking a picture of me coming out of a Thai Massage place, although I would love to have Robert craft's money and championships and tom brady's phone number i'm like all of them by the way did i just say all that stuff and say that a guy massaged my feet like no none other um 248 says

there was by the way there there was a i always thought that was a stereotype when they talk about all the time massage place and then the one right by my place right by my house they arrested three women for undercover sex acts in there and soliciting prostitution in there yeah it's crazy

where was this place 248 says you only get jealous if you're not doing something you're supposed to as a man that's interesting so the guys who get jealous we have to wonder about right we have

noticed with war of the roses a lot of the guys that get accusatory of their spouses are people who had their own stuff going on and that's why they're not they're suspicious of everyone else because they're dirty on the down low.

That's a really good point. If I would have said that to this guy, though, he would have killed me because you should have seen the size of this guy's hands. And I'm not talking to the guy massaging my feet. This guy sitting next to me was a big old dude. He had hands the size of a tree trunk. Mojo.

Mojo.

It's the nicest four-letter word you'll say today. This is Mojo in the Morning. I'm going to introduce the Mojo in the Morning show. I'm all over it, G. Now. All right, Mojo in the Morning. Time now for Taylor Swiftmas. Win tickets to the hardest-to-get ticket. Taylor Swift, coming to Ford Field in June. Text the word HERO right now to 95500. That's HERO, H-E-R-O, to 95500, and you could win Taylor Swift tickets. It's Taylor Swiftmas right here with Mojo in the Morning. It's Mojo in the Morning. Hey, is there anyone that's listening to the show that is already using their Christmas gift and the person that's giving you the Christmas gift maybe doesn't know that you're already using it. This is something that would happen all the time when you were like a kid. If you found a Christmas gift and like a toy or something. I remember getting a video game one time and I remember playing the video game and I remember my sister walking into the room and saying, oh, that's pretty cool. Didn't you ask for the updated version of that? And I was like, yeah, I did. It was a Madden game. And she thought it was not the actual one. Well, I just did this. So Chelsea bought me a new Apple Watch for Christmas, and it got delivered on Saturday while she was out. And this was the funniest story. So yesterday she says to me, hey, did we get a UPS delivered over the weekend? And I said, I don't know. And she goes, like on Saturday, it says that a UPS was delivered on Saturday. And I always, whenever there's like an Amazon or something like that, because we've got packages delivered now with Christmas and stuff. I always just take them and just throw them by the front door because I figured none of them are ordering. I am ordering. She's ordering for the kids and stuff. And I said, maybe, but that's like a long time ago. Well, she went back to go, and you can go on your ring cam, and you can go back to the day and see, like, when people come back to the door. And it was delivered, and I was the person that actually signed for it because you have to sign for it. And it was my present, which is on my wrist right now. I'm wearing it right here. I got the new Apple Watch. Yes.

I got the watch right here. How could you answer her question, I don't know, when you clearly opened a package that you didn't order?

I didn't know that that was the package because there's packages that get delivered. So I thought she told me that she was getting me an Apple Watch because the heart thing, because it's got the – Oh, yeah. You can actually put your finger on the side and you can get – it does the EKG and stuff. And after my heart surgery, she wanted to get it for me. And so this is actually kind of funny. So we're sitting on the couch, and we've been sitting on the couch since Saturday watching Yellowstone. So we've been binging Yellowstone together, which, by the way, she sends me text messages during the show saying, can you throw replays on?

come home like she wants to be able to watch it um but the whole time we've been there she's even asked me hey what time is it and i've gone to my watch and looked at my time no i've even done my i've done oh see what time is it now my series actually gonna tell me what time it is um i've done my ekg a couple of times because you do it by doing this you push your hands on the side and it will actually do the it will give you the ekg right it's actually it's it's really wild this is

It's fine. We're going to have you do that every time a salesperson walks in. Very cool. Alicia Bailey. Hold on.

Holy.

I'm just saying the name.

Flat line.

Very cool.

I love you, Alicia.

But what are you going to do when Christmas Day rolls around?

Well, we were talking about, you know, it's not really doing a lot. You know what I mean? And I just want, that's all I wanted. I didn't want anything. Maybe I'll rewrap it. Is that what you do?

I would be so pissed if I was Chelsea.

But what happens? no this is what I said to her Chelsea I need to wear this right now because she said to me she goes you should put this back in the box put your old watch on and I said but what happens if I have heart issues between now I need my EKG

you're terrible

I said what if I how about this I'll rewrap my old Apple watch and I'll open it up and go wow I can come up with some kind of a thing to do Erica have you ever done this before

Good morning. I'm doing it right now. My grandma asked me to go pick out our bedding that she wanted to buy us for Christmas and then bring it to her to wrap. But we just put it on our bed.

So what will you do then when you have to open it in front of her?

I kept the whole bag. So I'm just going to throw it back in there and stick a bow on it and act surprised.

You've got to be a good folder, though, because it's tough getting those things back into those bags.

It's a big bag. I'm confident in my skills here. You can do it.

you're professional at that because that's the problem with that's the problem with this watch you know how when you get something like that anything electronic there's a million different stickers and tags and things like that oh yeah so i still have all the boxes and everything because i you know still you know kept it in in and kind of put it to the side but um trying to recreate the whole thing would be a hard thing you know if i will keep you in my prayers you can do this all right thank you i appreciate it did you guys ever do that when you were kids though did you ever like grab up find the present and then i would open them all snoop find them look at them

but i would always put them back because i was afraid my parents wouldn't give it to me so you

would never use it even if it was something that you wanted just to test out once you never tried

i don't know i'm trying to remember if i ever did that i don't think maybe a like a little handheld game or something i might have tried played with and then made sure like i knew the exact moment my parents would get home from work so i made sure it was back there because i was

going to say you you're the type of person that would not surprise me that you've done this but then again you're also the same same person that your parents would just give you like a two by four

and say happy merry christmas right is that what you said uh we didn't get a lot of the popular

and fun toys everybody else had would you get so what would you do like when all everybody else in your neighborhood was getting like brand new video game systems and stuff what would you end up

getting i don't even remember it was just so non-memorable i can't remember anything specific

Which you're like, Mom.

Some Matchbox cars, those little cars. I know I got the little Hot Wheels.

So she wouldn't go out and buy you, like, I don't know, like the video game system that came out, like, four years ago. Never. If nowadays it would be a PS5 for the new one, you got the PS2?

No. Or whatever. No, I got checkers and chess set, board games.

Well, you know what?

Nothing with batteries. Nothing anyone in school would want to play with me. Now I know why you didn't play it early.

Yeah. It would depress you. Leticia, what's up? Hi. What's happening? Do you do this?

I do it because I have joint custody with my ex-husband, and so now my kids are not with me all the time on Christmas, so I just give them their gifts the week before when it's their time.

Oh, okay, but they have your permission to open them.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, do you try to— My mom says wait until after they come home, but I'm like, what's the difference if they go before or after?

That was the best with divorced parents is you went and you tried to figure out which parents you could get to do Christmas first. And then I would do it at my dad's all the time. Your dad would always give it to you early? My biological father, yeah, when I was younger and I would actually go see him for Christmas. Because I knew he would get me the stuff that I knew my mom wouldn't give me. So he got me the Sega Genesis and he got me, you know, that's all he got me and that's all I did. Like when I went over there is just sat on video games. So I knew he would give me the present first

Hey, Latricia, do you ever do that? Do you ever try to one-up your ex?

No, he makes more money than me I can't one-up anyone But I still give a better gift

I hope he's giving you some money though Is he giving you money at all for child

support and stuff? A little

bit. But he's a good dad. You know what I always tell

anybody that's like a friend of mine that's got divorced kids, I always tell the ones that aren't getting money to tell their kids to go in and steal money out of their dad's wallet.

They're not going to do that.

They're not crazy. Oh, okay. All right. Try it. My friends do it all the time with their kids. What's up, Joelle? Why did I say Joelle? It's Joel, right?

It's because it's the holiday. It's like Noel. Noel? Hey, so I bought my – it's not exactly the same thing, but I bought my daughter's hoverboard for Christmas, and I got the Mario Kart seats to go with it. And I definitely unpacked that sucker and took it for a spin before I wrapped it. I had to make sure it worked just to test it out.

Wait, so this is interesting. Parents using their kids' toys. Oh, yeah. It's a hoverboard. Have you ever done one of those things? No, but I never thought about that. The parents that pull it out and start using it.

Because, you know, I'm sure Mojo's bought things for his boys before that were really for him.

That's a genius idea, Joel. You've got to make sure the batteries work.

You've got to make sure. Just got to test it out.

Merry Christmas, buddy. Take care.

Merry Christmas, guys. Bye. I've seen your Facebook status. You're getting a dictionary for Christmas.

Merry Christmas from Mojo in the Morning.

Mojo in the Morning. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. You can check out and search Mojo in the morning. Megan says that every grown woman has one. A vagina?

No? No. Wrong?

They don't? Wrong. Oh, okay.

Wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

My manhood is way bigger than yours than I'm going. But I do think that every adult woman has an animal. And when I say an animal, I think a lot of guys are like, like a pet, like a fish, like a dog. No, no, ladies. Why do we all have a weird animal that for some reason is bestowed upon us at some point in our life? Maybe for me, it was like in passing, I said I liked zebra print. And now for the rest of my life, I will only ever get things that are zebra printed. or has a zebra on them. I don't need... It's the trashiest animal print. And for some reason... It is. It is now the only thing. Do I have a lamp with a zebra print on it and a pink feather bow around the rim? Because somebody heard one time that I like zebra print when I was eight. Yes, I do. And it's something I don't think I can ever get out. I actually like other animals. Otters are like my favorite thing of the entire world. Oh, but be careful. Now I'm going to get otters for the rest of my life. but like why is it we are bestowed an animal that we have to live with for our entire life do they

get you gifts like at random times because it's like oh i saw zebra print and thought of you it's not even like birthday it's like zebras are so close to you that if they see zebra print you will receive a present 100 this is me an elephant this is me an elephant you mentioned some at some point you love elephants do you remember like i don't know if this sticks out in anyone else's brain but like a few years ago it became a thing to talk about like spirit animals like what your spirit animal is yeah my family was talking about it at like dinner or something one night and was like what's your spirit animal and I was like oh elephants and I think I was just the only one with an abrupt answer and since that day if there is an elephant it will be given to me it wasn't just my family I got elephants for like as part of my like senior gifts from girls in my sorority My mom got me elephant planters and prints. My dad got me an elephant scarf. Like, everything that you can think of that has an elephant on it.

So for Megan, she likes otters. What do you like that's not an elephant?

For real. I mean, I like elephants, but I wouldn't decorate with any animals. I don't need squirrels around my house.

I don't need animals in my home. It's so funny because you guys are talking about this, and I kind of have FOMO. I don't think I have an animal, but then I- skinny jeans that's yours that's the animal i was thinking about it and i'm like but my sister has an animal and it's a hysterical one when she was little my sister emily had this stuffed beaver that's her animal i did have a stuffed elephant from birth so maybe that's why it was like my

answer but right from birth it's elephants for some reason yeah and lucy my seven-year-old loved

owls and so for christmas every year still we have a an entire mini christmas tree that is only decorated with owl ornaments and i'm pretty sure one year she's gonna be like i i was two When I said I like owls, I don't like owls anymore.

It's not just women because it's happened to me too. It's a crutch. Parents hear it's like a trigger for them, like an easy gift. When I got the big tattoo of the octopus on my leg, my mom's like, why do you like octopus? And I had a five-minute conversation about how cool they are. Now for the last two Christmases, last two birthdays, every time she came to a housewarming gift in my apartment, everything's octopi.

At least yours is like emblazoned on your body, so she has a reason to think you still like it. I have not said the word elephant to my family in five years.

And I still have.

Every time.

Chelsea's grandfather called us out for the fact that if you go into his house, he's got penguins all over the place. They're gifts that people have given him over the years of penguins. And it was probably five or six years ago we were visiting her grandfather in Arizona. And I said to him, I go, Danny, can you tell me, like, what is your obsession with penguins? And he goes, all right. And he goes like this I don't like them And we're like What are you talking about And he's like It all started with One of the kids Brought me a penguin thing And I said Oh that's cute Next thing I know Everybody keeps giving me penguins I don't like penguins He's like 85 years old And the guy finally came out And said I don't like penguins So that's what you guys need to do Megan you need to come out And Ellen and Spike You know Come out and say that You don't like it

It's so hard because Like I said I get those gifts, not even for, like, my birthday or whatever. It's like someone was thinking of you and was trying to do something nice out of the blue. That's the hard part.

I can't just say I don't like a mojo because my mom probably seeked out that stupid gift for, like, two months. Right. Oh, no.

We know your mom. She bought it a year ago on a sale. It's a dollar store. She saved it for you. What's up, Sam?

Hey, how you doing, Mojo? So my little sister used to have a stuffed rabbit. and we used to share a room when she was like two years old so this rabbit she used to take it and throw it off her bed every day so every morning i used to wake up with a stuffed rabbit looking right at me and this wasn't a regular rabbit it was like a life-size rabbit and every morning i used to feel like this rabbit was stalking me so finally when she turned like six years old and i wanted to get away from her i actually had to take it hide it and throw it away and let's just say till this day i still hear about that rabbit and she's 23 years old so she but but it's actually

something that she does like you just took it away from her and now oh i didn't even take it

away from her i kidnapped it threw it away and made sure that i never had to get waking up to

another rabbit looking at me sure one person who wanted to have an animal and he took it away yeah

jag off what's up leah hi um so mine's not an animal but people found out that i like pineapples um and now i don't stop getting pineapples but do you know what pineapples

mean yeah they don't mean that okay yes they do leah's defense maybe growing up my mom's thing was also pineapples leah because we lived in a colonial style home like a salt box now and it's the colonial sign of welcome so we'd go to colonial williamsburg and she like would get the colonial door it's a colonial thing did she no it's not i swear if any of you think my mom as a swinger, I will murder you. I will murder you and I will hide the body.

Do you want to meet her mom? Would you like to...

Me?

You guys can trade stuff. Beth knows, Leah. You're not the only one.

Of course, all the swingers know each other. Sean, what's going on?

Not much. My wife's animal, she really loved cows, flamingos, and bats.

and uh does she know here's the thing sean check in on that make sure maybe double check with her

if she actually does um well she did um and she since passed away uh last august oh sorry she loved them so much that uh actually got a tattoo of a big flamingo and it's got its one leg up in the air and it's got three bats hanging off of it just kind of don't you guys feel like

a bunch of a-holes? This guy's wife passed, and you guys are sitting there telling him that his past wife doesn't

like this. Well, the best thing is that he will never have to ask her that question.

That's fine. I'm thinking his wife's looking down on him going, why'd he get that weird tattoo?

He probably is.

It's better than the Nigerian Prince, or click here to reset your bank password.

Another world-famous Foes game happens at 9.50 on Mojo in the morning.

It's Mojo in the Morning Show. Break up or make up. So Brie says that her boyfriend's mom doesn't like her. And she's got proof of that. And I guess the proof is in how.

how she kind of talks about you and treats you, right, Brie? What's up? What's the story?

Hi. Yeah, thank you. Yeah.

How long have you guys been dating?

About seven months.

And you say that your boyfriend's mom won't refer to you as his girlfriend. What does she refer to you as?

Yeah, it's super weird. she she's called me like that girl or she'll just be like oh how's your friend or oh boy

like that kind of thing yeah really and how is she when you are with her is she nice to you is

she friendly with you yeah i mean she's she's nice and friendly and everything but like she like even on the phone if she's on the phone she'll just be like oh you know zach's over here

with his friend and I'm just like and you're the person he's saying is the friend yeah and he

refers to you as his girlfriend like he actually uses that word oh yeah absolutely but he doesn't correct her or anything uh-huh uh-huh oh that would bother me um how you guys been together

for just you know uh seven months or a little over you know half of a year do you think it's just so new that she's wanting to see if you guys are dating longer than a year before she starts referring to you as that because in her defense you guys really haven't been dating that long

i mean i i thought so at first but the thing is is that we've been like around each other's families a lot and you know we got serious relatively quick so what do your parents

refer to as zach as you know your boyfriend or zach or zach yeah yeah but the girl or the friend is not very warm. The friend or that girl. That girl. Yeah.

But it's kind of in a cold way. Zach's on the phone with us right now. Zach, do you notice this, that your mom refers to Bree as something other than your girlfriend?

I mean, you know, yeah, I mean, I guess I've noticed it. I guess I never really thought it was a big deal. She's kind of mentioned it, but I never really thought it was like a huge, huge thing.

Why don't you, since it bothers Brie, why don't you correct her when she does that next time?

I mean, I just don't, I don't, I don't really like the drama of it all. I just don't know why it, why it matters, really, I guess. But all it, all it takes is for you to say,

mom, she's my girlfriend. You can call her my girlfriend.

Well, she knows, I mean, she knows you're my girlfriend. I don't think there's any questions she knows you're my girlfriend. I just think, you know, it's like,

but hearing hearing you gently urge her to you to say that might help i don't know it's up to you

to do it no one else is gonna do it if i asked you a question would you answer it honestly yeah sure yeah okay has your mom ever said anything about brie that might be a little negative

i mean like i'm sure over seven months i'm sure i'm talking about to you

to me has she ever has she ever said something to you about your relationship that is maybe a little negative does she like brie i mean

i guess not i mean i guess she doesn't like really i mean she does kind of have a problem with her yeah she doesn't necessarily like her a whole lot okay what's the wait what's the reasoning you know i mean i think she just you know like i'm her best son i think she always thinks i could do better and she just kind of thinks breeze like a little maybe a little brash sometimes a little short uh not like the most uh outgoing person i don't know she just you know she just

i guess they just don't really click so your mom your mom has has said this to you or you just

sense that she's feels this way uh i mean i guess i sensed it kind of early on and then she's

definitely i mean she's she's she's said some stuff have you and you've talked to your mom about this so brie how do you feel when you know that she has said stuff to him do you stick up for

brie yeah i mean i you know i tell my mom you know that she's my girlfriend and you know she'll she'll come around that kind of thing it's not been that long um has your mom liked any of the girls that you've introduced her to or she just really tough um yeah she yeah there was this own girl she really liked a lot there had a lot of like a lot in common and stuff and when was that that you dated her uh that's been about a year and a half ago okay um brie what do you want to

say to this what do you think when you hear this i mean the thing is is that like i told you that she was doing this and you just kind of brushed it off like it was no big deal but like I was convinced she didn't like me and now you just admitted that so I don't know I think

that's all the more reason for you to stick up for me if you know she doesn't like me so you know there's a reason that she's not referring to me as your girlfriend you know there's a reason

so it's not not a big deal yeah i mean i i don't know what you want me to do she doesn't really she just doesn't really like you i mean i don't but i also don't know that it's that big of a deal i mean i like you and i feel like you know i you know if you want to like you don't think

that's a big deal i mean obviously she wants to win over your whole family well i think i mean i

think she'll come around on her personally but i just you know i don't i didn't think it was that big of a deal i thought you know i like her i didn't necessarily want to bring it up that my mom doesn't like her i'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings but also like there's not

really anything i can do about it well you can you can help your mom come around by nudging her and constantly pointing out the great things and the things you like about her and the reason she should like her and make a point of pointing out how important she is to you so your mom understands

that it's this this person's in my life andrew wants to make a comment on this andrew how you doing hey guys i miss you miss you too why are you going why are you missing us what's the story

what's going on you guys are fun man i was out of state for a while okay i just i just wanted to comment man stop being bobby boucher from water boy uh i had to stay miss you with my mom because of ethnicity and whatnot you know uh they don't want she didn't like my wife but you got to stand up and be a man and tell your mom who you're marrying i mean and did you yeah of course mama says yeah let me hear your bobby boucher no foosball exactly yeah that's a good point i mean

he he lived it you got to stand up and say something what's up cam break up or make up

Good morning.

What do you think? Good morning.

Oh, I think definitely breakup. I'm a mother of three boys, and she's never going to win him over, her over.

Have you ever not liked one of the girls that your sons, one of your sons has dated?

Yes. We kid my oldest often that we need to see her meds list before he can finish dating her.

Oh, my God.

He usually dates the crazies.

Wow. So, Kim, it can never turn around? I mean, they can never start off in a bad way and then, you know, gain your acceptance?

No, because there's always the history. You can't unring a bell.

Wow, that's crazy. Okay. What's going on, Victoria? Break up or make up? Mojo in the morning show here.

Oh, Lord. You've got to break up. You've got to break up. It seems like it's common sense. It's not that complicated. If he's not willing to stand up for you now, and this is a small thing that he could easily You say, hey, she's my girlfriend. Be a little bit more respectful. Please try with her or whatever. When the going gets tough, what is going to happen? I mean, he seems nice enough, but not worth giving your relationship, like your life to.

That's a very good point. Yeah, it's a really, really good point. A lot of people, by the way, are texting in the same thing. And actually, the calls here are all saying the same thing. Is this Deshaun again? We're talking to you. Is this the same? Is this our Deshaun? Deshaun, how many times in a day am I talking to you? What's up? What's going on, Deshaun? You're not a very busy man today, are you?

No, well, you know, I'm on the road, man. I'm good, but no, I'm not busy. But anyway. But, hey, look, I kind of feel him on this, you know, going through what I went through. But, I mean, it did grow, you know, eventually, you know. But it's not really not too much you can do. You know, only time can tell. I mean, exactly how long they've been together.

Seven months.

Seven months? Yeah, so you got a long way to go. It took me years.

It's just me years You're telling me mama doesn't like Your beautiful lady

No no I'm sorry Let me reverse that I was not like

I understand that So who was it Was it her mom that didn't like you

Oh it was mom and dad But you know I mean we married now

Do they like you now Do they call you son

Yes, I am son. I am their son.

Okay. All right, good.

Just give him some time, y'all. Don't break up. Y'all can make it. I believe in y'all.

Word from Deshaun.

It's been some time. He took years.

We'll see if we talk to Deshaun again later today. All right, thanks for the calls, guys.

Six. On. Six. Six. I'll tell you what it's got in it. It's got sexual innuendo, mild profanity, toilet humor, and drinking.

Isn't that a... Roll the awkwardness. It's Mojo in the Morning, six on sex.

All right. Six on sex. Is this Ryan's mom? Yes. Hi. Hey, Mojo in the morning. I just want to make sure you're okay with going on the radio. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, so you would like to help your son win a prize. Oh, sure. All right. You sound like such a mom. You'll do anything for your kids. All right. Well, good.

Oh, yeah.

To a certain extent.

Ryan? Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you doing, Ryan? Are you sure you want to do this to your mother? Well, it's got to happen one way or another. Go for it. Ryan, tell your mom what the name of this contest is. Six on Sex.

Uh-oh.

Mom, it is Six on Sex. We ask Ryan six very personal questions that pertain to his sex life while you just sit on the phone and spectate. Oh, geez. Okay. Do you know much about his sex life?

I don't want to know, but I guess I'm about to. Yes, you are.

Ryan, how old are you? I am 23 years of age. Mom, at any time, if you feel uncomfortable, you just go right over to that button and you hit end and hang up the phone.

Okay.

And if you do that, your son loses his prize. Oh, boy. Ryan, question number one. We would like you to tell us where you lost your virginity.

It was actually in my bed

Were your parents home at the time?

No, they were not It was a close call, but With who? Take a guess Oh, you sick little monkey

Question number two Ryan, how many people Have you had sex with?

Oh, God If I had to I'm going to have to ballpark this one. I'm going to have to say probably mid-twenties.

And you said you're 23 years old? That's correct.

But bear in mind, I did go to Central Michigan University,

so that explains it all.

So it's free there, huh? Got my money for my tuition. Great. Good investment, Mom and Dad.

Question number three. Have you ever used a flavored condom? Yes, I have.

Oh, what flavor was it?

Green apple. How do you like them apples, Mom?

I'm so proud of them.

This is going to be kind of a personal one here, Mom. Question number four. We're more than halfway there. Ryan, how would you describe your current hairstyle down there?

I'd have to say, you know, Mr. Clean. Let's go cue ball. Wow.

Oh, gee. Oh, my God.

We'll move on to the next question. Oh, please do. Question number five in Six on Sex. Ryan's on with his mom on the phone. Have you ever had a threesome?

Yes, I have

Ryan

You are disgusting I'm so disappointed in you

Ryan Don't disappoint your mom And answer this question This is just a follow up to that Have you ever had more than a threesome?

Yeah, I've had a foursome Oh, you're sick You're really sick

Mom, one last question and you've helped your son win a prize and then you can invite him over to the house tonight to send him to his room.

Oh, he's going to get a prize.

Question number five. Ryan, what's your favorite position?

You know, I would say it's mostly dependent on the mood that you're in, but generally probably reverse s***.

Oh, Ryan, why don't you take the time to explain it to your mom?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Six on sex, everybody. Mom, do not Google it. Mom, you still there?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Ryan wins a prize. Congratulations, Ryan, for six on sex today.

Thank you very much, Marjo. That prize better be a place for him to live.

Oh, no. Wait, wait, hold on.

Ryan, you still live at home?

I do. I actually just graduated from college.

Oh, my God. Why would you do this to yourself?

Well, I'm moving out in about a week and a half, so. No, he's moving out tonight.

Six on. Six, six. Mojo in the morning, six on sex. Ladies and gentlemen.

Mojo in the morning. Mojo in the morning. And now.

Back to Mojo in the morning.

It's Mojo in the morning show. We were so excited yesterday with the big news from Mike. Let me play this for you. So we were having a discussion about Mike's kids, that they were going to go see Santa Claus, and Mike didn't know who was going to get to talk to Santa Claus because only one could talk. Was it going to be Cecily? Was it going to be Milo? And then Mike sprung on.

us a huge surprise that if you want to watch the video of this the in-studio video you can by going to our instagram facebook check this out here you go and how did it go did it it uh

well it did not uh it did not go as expected um here you know what actually i got the picture to show you guys it went completely wrong and i i honestly thought it was going to go A different way because we ended up going with the third To give it to our third child

You guys Mike and Allie I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Having a baby.

Do you want to hear?

Where'd you make this baby? What event? What Mojo in the Morning event?

So it was either at Mojo's Hall of Fame party weekend or it was camping the following weekend.

Mike and Allie having a baby. And Mike, what was the reaction like yesterday from the big announcement?

Well, it was all over the place. I'm sure you guys, I know you guys have experienced this. When you tell somebody, whether it's good news, bad news, there's always a range of, like, reactions. Like, some people are super—like, you guys were the reaction I loved. Like, that was amazing.

I am sorry that I sounded like that. No, don't be at all.

Don't be at all. That is my absolute favorite thing in the entire world. I love that. That's why I wanted to surprise you guys. Like, I love that. There's never over the top with me. But then there's, like, different reactions. Oh, another great one was Matthew Stafford and Kelly Stafford's photographer reached out to me and said that she wants to do a maternity shoot with Allie. Oh, that's great. Oh, nice. It's just super cool stuff. And then yesterday, we're sitting in a meeting, and it gets brought up like mid-meeting. And it's like, hey, Tony, our boss Tony, hey, did you hear Mike's having a baby? And he just goes, nice. So anyways. He did. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I send off the topics for yesterday, and he immediately emails me back. Like, immediately. I send it at 901. He's emailed me back at 902. And he goes, there's no way I said that. And I go, yes, you did. And he goes, I must have been distracted. I'm so sorry. And then he gives me this long, like, really inspirational, like, motivational email. Like, you're a great dad. You're this, this, and this. And we start going back. And I think he feels really, really bad about it. But I was like, dude, there was eight million things going on. And I think it was just brought up casually. Like, I don't expect you to go. He goes, no, you're going to be a great dad. And I have three. And I understand fully. And I was like, it's so funny when at this stage in my life and when you share stuff in general with everybody. Yeah. Like, the reactions are so, you know, up and down. Some people were super excited. Some people were like, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool.

So anyways, it's funny. Sometimes you don't know what your natural, you don't know what the reaction is going to be to something or you don't know how to respond.

And some people don't have a poker face to like fake excitement instead of thinking what they're really thinking. They show it on their face.

It's funny. Chelsea and I were joking about this. The last funeral that Chelsea and I went to, one of my friend's moms died. And Chelsea and I go to the funeral and we walk in and my friend's dad is there. And he says to Chelsea, how are you doing? And she goes, I'm good. How are you? At a funeral. And she goes, oh, my God. Because you're so natural reaction to things. And then the Tony, like, oh, nice. Like that kind of thing. Or you'll get the reaction from people like, so, Mike, you're having a baby? Yeah, great. You know, like that.

I will say, though, guys just don't get as excited about these things when the news is broken to them as girls do. And same thing with, like, engagements, you know, or, like, babies being born. Like, I'll always ask, you know, my friends who are guys, like, oh, what does the ring look like? Or what was the baby's name?

And they're like, I don't know.

How did you not ask that question?

Whenever someone has an engagement party, I'm like, we're having a wedding, aren't we? Do we have to celebrate this twice? What are we doing?

But then I hear myself, and literally my vocabulary just went down to one word, and it was just Michael over and over. Not even, like, a congratulations or I'm so excited. And it was just, Michael, Michael.

That was my favorite. That was my favorite thing in the world.

The funniest, though, was you, after he said that, you were so excited at the beginning. And then you got very bitter that you didn't know about it. You did.

I was genuinely really mad.

mad at Mike today. Like really, really mad. And I love Allie. I love Allie way more than I love Mike. That's not a secret. I'm very mad at her too.

The best, is Craig on there? Because Craig's got a good response for us. Talking about the reaction that you get from people when you tell them that you're having a baby. Craig, What was the response?

I've got a total of seven. And every time my wife and I would reveal that we're having another one, I've gotten quite often, oh, another one?

Like DJ Khaled. Another one. Although seven kids, though, you have to, you know, there's a lot of kids.

Well, I'm done now. There's no more. The term or the phrase, all juice, no seeds now.

I've never heard that before Why do I kind of love that

Why do I not get it All juice, no seeds Oh, sorry

Craig, I've got to ask you

I'm remembering you're a regular car You're a trucker, Craig So maybe they're hearing your wife complain When you're on the road all the time Leaving her with seven kids

Funny enough, I was talking to my brother He actually works for UPS in Livonia And he drives trucks now And he's working nights And his wife is complaining Saying oh you're living the life Because you come home You sleep during the day When all the kids are gone at school You don't have the baby bothering you And then you go to work And you're not getting bothered He's like oh I could do what Craig's doing Because I drive over the road He doesn't deal with anything

Leaving town Thanks Craig Kristen what's up?

Nothing how are you?

Good what was the reaction that you got When you told your friends That you were having a baby?

I actually called my youngest sister, and she basically told me, don't you have enough children when I was pregnant with my third one? Wow. Oh, my God. Wow. Okay, that's sweet. And I actually no longer talked to her.

Yeah, fair. Yeah. How many kids do you have? I have three boys. Oh, geez. Wow. That's amazing. All right. Wait, real quick, though, fair question. Does she babysit for you or something? Like, is the responsibility of following her to help watch the kids?

No, she actually lives in Pennsylvania where I'm from. Oh, that's okay. And she only has met my oldest son one time. She's never met any of my other kids.

Does she have a struggle having kids? Because that also could be.

No, she actually just got married this past October. She's only 25.

All right, I'm just trying to see why she would be so bitter. Marky, what's happening?

Hi. I'm at the age, I'm 26, where if my friend were to call me and say that they're pregnant, I don't know. Am I excited for them? True. Do I got to drive you somewhere? Like, what are we doing? Like, I don't know what level I'm supposed to be at. Because, like, some of them are here.

Well, you have to read how they tell you, right? Or they're like, oh, my gosh, I'm pregnant. Or they, I'm pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. What I would never respond with still is nice. Nice. Nice.

Neither new nor improved, but still better than the rest. Just mojo in the morning.

All right, Mojo in the Morning, time now for Taylor Swiftmas. Giving you a chance to win Taylor Swift tickets. It's going to be at Ford Field in June. Text Taylor, T-A-Y-L-O-R, to 95500 for a shot to win. You could be going to see Taylor Swift from Mojo in the Morning. It's the Mojo in the Morning Breaking and Entering Christmas Wish. Today is, to me, one of the most touching that we've ever done in the history of Breaking and Entering Christmas Wish. This morning, we're going to grant a Christmas wish for a hero. And Mike is with us this morning. Mike, how you doing? I'm good. How are you? Fantastic. It is great to have you here with us today, Mike. This morning's Christmas wish is for somebody that was in the news, a fallen Detroit police officer, a police officer that was killed in the line of duty. The story was a major story when it happened, and it's tragic to know that months later after the death of this hero that the family is still trying to pick up pieces financially and really kind of going through a tough time. On the phone with us right now is Grandma Laura. Hi, Grandma Laura. Good morning.

Good morning.

How are you doing? You're already turned up.

I'm crying.

Oh, yeah.

This is a tough one.

Well, we want you to know that we are praying so hard for your beautiful family and your grandchildren, and we're going to grant this wish, okay? So you stay right there. I'm going to keep you with Mike. Has Mike been kind to you? Has he been giving you lots of hugs and things?

He's very kind.

He is. Mike, are you ready? Yeah. All right, let's do it.

Hi, this is Christine.

Hey, Christine, it's Mojo in the Morning.

Oh, hi.

Hi. I can hear the family bustle going on there of trying to start the day. We received a letter about your story and your family story and about Lauren for our Breaking and Entering Christmas Wish program.

Oh, man.

And we could not let this letter go unread, or are this wish being ungranted? So I want you to hear what this letter sounded like, okay?

Okay.

All right, Melissa.

Dear Mojo in the morning, my name is Melissa Robinson, and I want to nominate my sister Christine for a breaking and entering Christmas wish. On July 6th, my sister, niece, and nephew's life changed forever. My sister got a phone call that the love of her life, Lauren, had been shot in the line of duty, and it didn't look good. Lauren was a Detroit police officer and lost his life protecting the citizens of Detroit. He was gone, just like that. His family never got to say goodbye. Since that night, Christine and her children have had no choice but to move on with their lives. they were thrown into the spotlight of the media I'm not able to properly grieve this horrific loss the kids are deeply struggling there are many days when they admit it's hard to even wake up and go to school and face the world they don't have their Batman to talk to lean on or encourage them their dad they are still very much taking things one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time I am so proud of my sister, niece, and nephew, and their strength to continue on and keep Lauren's memory alive. Darian just turned 16, and Devin turns 10 in a few weeks. They face a life without their father, who loved them dearly. Jeff loved Christmas. This year, they will keep their traditions alive and pull together with the support of family to get through their first Christmas without Lauren. They are in need of help paying their car and other payments, buying a headphone for Lauren, and a whole lot of Christmas magic. Mojo, please show this family that there is good in this world and that there is a community who loves them. Thank you for taking the time to read my sister's story. Sincerely, Melissa.

well christine i remember when that story made the news and i remember for days afterwards what it was like and the funeral and how many people attended the funeral Oh, my goodness, yeah.

Yeah, it was something.

Can you do us a favor? Can you tell us a little bit about this man who went out every single day to go out and protect others, people that were complete strangers?

Yeah, Lauren was, I mean, he was just different. He was one of a kind. He had such a passion for helping people. I mean, even us in the house from opening jars and fixing my daughter's toys, like he was just always so proud of it. And he wanted to make his kids proud and his dad, and he loved it. He loved being a police officer, but above all that, he loved being a dad. If you ask Lauren about him, the first thing he would say is that I'm a father. I have two beautiful children. You know, he was fun. He had a joke side to him, so we were constantly getting pranks from him. And, you know, we'd get mad, but it was also funny at the same time.

Yeah. I love that your sister wrote in the letter that he loved Christmas. It was his favorite, favorite time of year. And so how are you and the kids keeping his memory alive this Christmas?

You know, it's different. we're trying to like extra decorate and talk about him and we put the blue light candles up that we just keep going um you know we put the tree up but we we did it all a little bit different like we've never had a white tree before so we we went with white this year okay um all right yeah we you know christmas really was just chill for us but christmas eve you know martin would come home and santa would come he was just like a kid taking pictures he'd get up

know get home at 2 a.m. and he'd get up at 6 a.m. just to be with the kids early because you know

they're up well I believe that this brave man is with us right now because we need to celebrate Christmas for you and your family and I don't know if you've ever heard what we do yeah you

have heard it I have okay I'm not sure if Lauren would approve of a breaking and entering this

morning we're gonna do it anyway we are right now at your home right now right now it's not

just us there's a there's a whole lot of people at your home you're gonna recognize many of these people too okay um if you could go to your front door mike from our station mojo in the morning show is right there and mike

Merry Christmas! Hi! So nice to meet you. I'm standing here with me, Mom. I'm standing here with your whole family and the Southfield Police Department as well. And we want to give you a Christmas.

Oh, my God. I'm glad I put a bra.

How are you guys doing? Hello! Hi, hi, hi. Nice to meet you. Thank you. Oh, look at the two little puppies. Hi.

How are you guys doing? Merry Christmas. And here comes Christmas.

Christine, there are so many people that wanted in on this wish. so many people that saw that you had the most amazing man in the world and the tragedy that took place and then so many people that probably don't realize that months later when you follow up on these stories because there's way too many of them where our fallen heroes are taken from us we think the families are taken care of we don't realize that no not exactly and that's why we want to take care of you and your family. We want to make sure that your Christmas and after Christmas is good. We can't tell you how much we appreciate what your husband and what you and your family sacrificed for our community, but we want to make sure that we are there for you so that you know that it wasn't sacrificed in vain. We're granting this Christmas wish as we bring in boxes and bags and all kinds of great gifts for Devin and for Darian, but also a lot for you, things that you need, things that can help you and comfort you over this time.

Yeah, I mean, in addition to the warm clothes and the toys for the kids, we heard that you need a new couch. So our friends over at Gardner White Didn't hesitate to make that happen for you So you have to do a little shopping To go pick out a new couch Okay Oh thank you They're off the hook Okay They can't be in trouble for that anymore We also have

But also how did you break the couch Yeah Great question Devin

We also have all kinds of gifts for you personally, which I know that you don't think of yourself. You've been thinking so much about Darian and Devin to make sure that their lives are good. So we will get into that in just a second. But has Darian already slipped off to school?

His cousin who's here called him with the story.

Oh, okay. Good. Don't be mad. We had to keep lies going to keep you guys from leaving the house, okay?

That's right. Tell Darian that we understand he plays his dad's PS5, so we got him a couple hundred dollars and a PS5 gift card so that he can continue that memory. And of course, we got the winter jackets and the gear and the bedding and clothing and toys and all the things you need and all the things that will provide a Christmas for the kids. But also, Christine, your sister Melissa said that one of the things your family wanted was a headstone for Lauren's grave site. And that our jaws kind of dropped around here when we heard that because we thought, oh, my gosh, this officer who served and protected, we don't even have the proper memorial right now. So we reached out to our friend Tim Lynch at Lynch and Sons Funeral Home. who along with Patton Monument and Comstock Park are going to provide the family with a custom headstone and they're going to work with Woodlawn Cemetery who's been very accommodating to make sure the family has a beautiful monument to visit and celebrate Lauren's life.

Thank you.

You guys design it with them and you guys put that extra special spirit so that any time that you or the kids go and pay a visit that you guys know that Lauren is there and we're thinking of him and our community is thinking of him.

Thank you. I have no words. That's amazing.

We also know and we all know because we have kids what it's like with having kids how expensive things can be and how tough it is, we're going to make sure that we give you enough money to be able to help with your bills and provide you with comfort, knowing that you don't have to worry about that. You've got a new driver in the house, is that right?

Yeah, Darian.

How's Darian driving? Is Darian doing okay?

He's really good. He's very cautious. I'm proud of him.

He doesn't speed because he's got dad watching over him, making sure he's not speeding, right? We want to make sure that you guys have everything that you need. And along with everybody in our community, we're going to pull together for that. So anybody that's listening right now that wants to help out this great family, you go to mojoswish.org and you can. We understand that there's one last thing that we heard from your family. They were so good to tip us off on stuff that right before the tragedy of Lauren's life being taken, And you guys were set to go on a family trip to go to Cedar Point.

Yeah.

And that was a place that was special for Lauren, right? He loved taking the kids.

Yeah, he loved amusement parks. He loved the adrenaline rush.

So what we made sure to do is that we're going to make you guys the very first visitors of Cedar Point when they open back up. And we're going to provide you and your entire family with a trip to Cedar Point so that you guys can go there.

All expenses paid. The food, the tickets, a hotel. We just want you to spend some really good quality time together and remember Lauren.

Oh my gosh, you guys are amazing.

We love you so much. We thank you for your sweet family and for your sweet Lauren. And we want to know that anybody in blue, men or women that serves, is right now texting us and hitting us up nonstop. So, thanking you for your beautiful husband.

Oh, thank you.

Mike is going to make it a party right now. So, all those chairs are going to turn into happiness.

It is so quiet in that house, and I'm watching on our Facebook Live. There are so many people packed into your house. We need to celebrate.

We have a living room full of people. We have the Southfield Police Department Who I was told Has been watching over The whole family since everything happened And it is true You can feel the warmth in the room But yeah, let's make it a party Let's have some fun If it's okay with the police officers I want everybody at the top of their lungs To say Merry Christmas Really quick, ready? One, two, three Merry Christmas!

Christine, we love you so much, and we are continuing to pray for you.

Thank you so much. I love you guys, my kids, and I thank you all. This is amazing.

Merry, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas from Mojo in the Morning. This is Mojo in the Morning.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light From now on our troubles will be out of sight Have yourself a merry little Christmas Make the yuletide gay From now on Our troubles will be miles away Here we are as in olden Happy golden days of yore, Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more. Through the years we all will be together If the fates allow Hang a shining star upon the highest bough And have yourself a merry little Christmas now

Here we are as in olden days Happy golden days of yore Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more

Through the years we all will be together If the fates allow Hang a shining star Upon the highest bar And have yourself A merry little Christmas

This is a special Christmas edition of the Senseless Survey. Mr. Bob Dabalina is taking a little vacation. Spike, who is filling in for Mr. Bob Dabalina?

It's Yukon Cornelius. Remember him from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Let's hope that they don't remember him.

It's time for an official government survey. It's Mojo in the Morning Senseless Survey.

Here's me. This is Yukon Cornelius calling from the U.S. Senseless Bureau. Just a couple quick questions and a 30-second survey for your country. Starting off with, are you done your Christmas shopping yet?

Yes.

Have you mailed your packages early so that your post office can lose them in time for Christmas? No. And since she has some time in the off-season, would you like to see Mrs. Claus on Dancing with the Stars?

No.

How would one go about getting bloodstains out of a Christmas sweater?

Cold water.

Have you asked Santa for an official Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot range model air rifle?

Yes. Good. I had one. You did have one. Yeah. Did you shoot your eye out? No, I shot the streetlights out.

Do you know what the nog in eggnog is? No. It's actually egg yolks, cottage cheese, and feet, I believe. Do you like it? Do you ever drink it? Oh, eggnog's excellent. You do like it?

Eggs and, of course, some rum.

I prefer my alcoholic drinks without the curdled milk and Elmer's glue in it.

Hmm.

Do you think Santa is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live? He should be if he isn't. Would you date a girl whose nickname in college was the Nutcracker?

I would date her first.

Do you think Frosty the Snowman has private parts? Oh, absolutely. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, are you the Charlie Brownest? No. And aside from Rudolph, which was your favorite reindeer? Prancer. You like Prancer better than Nixon and Dancer, Vomit, and Stupid?

Oh, yeah. And Tucker and Wolf Blitzen? Let us not forget Wolf Blitzen now.

Would you go to a dentist if his name was Hermie and you found out he used to be an elf that didn't want to make toys? Probably. Do you think the song White Christmas is racist? Absolutely. Did you ever secretly wish Cindy Lou Who would just kick the Grinch right in the scrotum? That's right. Would you play Jeopardy against the three wise men?

Yeah.

Because, I mean, if they were so wise, I guess why didn't they have GPS?

And the truth.

If I said, ho, ho, ho, would you say, what, what, what?

No.

Do you think people who are afraid of Santa are claustrophobic?

Probably.

Ever slide down someone's chimney? Oh, but of course. Ever stub your mistletoe?

Ooh.

Ever hang your G-string by the chimney with care?

No.

What's more offensive, bah humbug or go f*** yourself? He's not sad.

F*** you. Ooh.

Wow. By the way, greatest voice in the world. I know. I thought that was the Grinch for a second. man. We knew you wouldn't

hang up. Oh, man. You must have no life. It's the Sista Survey on Mojo in the Morning.

20 plus years of idiocy and still going in Detroit, Toledo, and West Michigan. It's Mojo in

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