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This is Mojo in the Morning Mojo

Mojo This show's up And the rocket's red glare You're not being logical is what I'm saying

This is like an orgasm in a cup Showtime

We'll be right back.

mojo on the morning show so have you guys ever had a couple's massage so you go in with your husband or wife boyfriend or girlfriend uh and you get the massage and it's Like romantic, you know, where there are two massage tables, two masseuses. Is that how, is that the plural of the masseuse? Masseuses? Masseise. Masseise. And you do it kind of romantically together as they're playing beautiful music. Well, leave it to Mojo in the Morning misfit Victor to completely take the romance out of a couple's massage. So he and his beautiful wife, Tina, who I still can't understand how these guys are together. She could have done so much better. But they got a couple's massage. And what was the occasion? Was it a Christmas gift that you bought this for?

Well, no, it was just like, I guess, just a thing that we did. I got her a massage for herself for our anniversary last year.

Yeah.

So she said, okay, I'm going to make an appointment and surprised me with making a couple's massage for both of us.

Okay, so she actually purchased this. This was her gift to you. And you completely screwed it up. Tell the listeners and everybody here on the show what you did.

Well, this was like our first ever couple's massage. So I didn't realize that we're both going to be in the same room. you know so i'm like this is pointless what do you mean so i get in well what's the purpose of it we're not holding hands we're not like it's just like she has her missus i have my missus or massager lady or whatever you want to call them and there's just like i like to talk to the person like hey what's the grossest thing you've ever seen on something and she's like You can't do that. I want to relax. And so I said, can I have my own room, please?

You basically called your wife annoying and asked for your own room?

No, well, she technically called me annoying because I wanted to talk. And, you know, she's like, the inside lady starts laughing. And I'm like, no, I'm serious. She goes, are you serious? And my wife goes, yeah, he's probably serious. So she.

looked annoyed they everybody looked annoyed and i'm like what's the problem there's nobody here

so they switched me to another room so it's not a couple's massage then you went as a couple but

you guys didn't get the massage as a couple we're both a couple we're both getting massages so technically it's still a couple's massage why do i just don't understand the thing why do i have

to be in the same room while some lady is massaging so did you did it make you feel awkward uh that there was another woman touching you close to your, you know, your buttocks and stuff like that? Did you not? No. So that wasn't that. Was it?

What awkward was that morning before the massage, I'm like, you know, I'm ethnic, so I'm like, I need to shave my back. So my wife's like, come on, we got to go. I'm like, hold on. I started shaving my back a little bit. I'm not like, you know, whatever, like a cashmere sweater.

Yeah.

be hairy, but my massager, whatever, my shaver runs out of battery. I walked in there with only half my back shaved. This lady was probably like, what the hell does this guy have, like, not Propecia, or Alopecia on his back? Yeah. It was horrible.

So, Victor, so you're getting your massage, you're in this room, okay, with your wife, and then you make a big fuss over this whole thing. um was it a a woman or a man that was massaging your wife it was a woman and unfortunately for me it was a woman that was massaging me too i've had it before because the reason i bring this up is i've had it before where chelsea and i went and got a couple's massage and the the masseuse that she likes is this woman who's would go really deep on her like yeah with her elbows and stuff Well, she was available But there was only another person available That was a guy And I ended up getting the guy And I thought to myself And I'm not homophobic I have a gay son for God's sake I'm not homophobic But I thought if I'm going to get a massage I don't know if I want some dude massaging me Like when I'm sitting here I would like to have a woman massage me I don't even get my wife to touch me So if I'm paying I want to pay to get somebody massaging me You know what I mean?

I'm going to have a guy massaging me because they're stronger.

Oh, that's not right. I'm telling you, you've never seen Doris. Doris, who used to massage Chelsea, she's actually now a full-blown attorney. She practices law. But she had the strongest hands ever. I used to tell her all the time, be easy on me. Be easy on me. I was like Adele before Adele was Adele.

I went to Doris when she had Mike Tyson hands. I had to tell her to ease up.

I'm a gentle, delicate creature. I love that.

Yeah, she's awesome.

But, Mojo, you seem like the type of person that would also talk through an entire massage. I talk the whole time. Because you do that in yoga, too. These things that are supposed to be relaxing, serene, meditating, and you just run your mouth through the whole thing.

I have the word. Why don't we do this, Victor? How about you and I go get a couple's massage together, and we'll talk to our masseuse the entire time?

Well, how about if we do that, but we're in separate rooms, and we can just use our earpods and pretend we're in the same room? No, I think that—

Isn't it cheaper to just pay for the couple's massage than paying for two separate massages? I think so. Seriously. Yeah.

Do it for that. This was pretty expensive, but, I mean, it was a great massage, trust me. It was a great massage, but the lady wasn't very talkative. I'm asking her questions, and she's just, like, really short answers, not asking me questions.

Well, she was annoyed already because—

One late conversation.

Yeah. You're just annoyed because you made her move. I have found, and I've only gotten a handful of massages, but I have found that the people who do the massages typically don't necessarily really want to talk to you. Like they use this as, you know, it's more exhausting for them to have to entertain you while they're doing it.

They're not bartenders or hair salon stylists who you tell your problems to and talk to through the whole service.

And plus you're putting your face in that thing and you got it through the, you know, that whole, that whole deal.

But I wonder if it's also insulting. If you're running your mouth through the whole thing, then maybe they feel like they're not getting through and giving you a really relaxing massage.

586 says, massage therapists don't like to be called masseuses. They are massage therapists. I'm a massage therapist and we get lots of people that talk the whole time. I think it's like therapy session for those people. Okay. I get it.

Thank you, Ms. Massage Therapist.

248 says, my husband always falls asleep during couples' massages and then starts snoring. It's so annoying because it doesn't make it relaxing for me to actually hear him snoring the whole time. Don't you?

What is the point of being in the same room?

Do you not like being in the same room with your wife when she's naked?

No, I'm sure she hates being in the same room with me, dressed or naked. But, I mean, it's just, there's, like, when I'm thinking couples massage, like something else, whatever. But you're just laying there. We're, like, eight feet apart because of this stupid COVID thing and whatever.

Wait, they put you that far apart during COVID on a couple's massage?

Yes. They're like, do you want your therapist to wear a mask? I'm thinking like a mask, like, you know, like, what was that movie with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman?

No, not those kind of masks.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, what type of mask? They're like, oh, they don't need to wear a mask.

Tiana wants to comment here. Are you a massage therapist, Tiana?

I was a massage therapist for over 10 years.

Yeah.

And when it comes to talking during massage, I mean, we get it. Everybody needs to vent and everybody needs to talk about stuff. But the reason why we don't talk back is because we're trying to focus on you and making sure that we get you stress, you know, your stress relief and that we're working the muscles that need to be worked. And it's nothing against talking to you. We just want you to relax.

Yeah. You guys are focused on making it an enjoyable experience so that this person becomes.

Exactly.

Comes back and gets more massages What's going on Anira

Hey good morning guys

Anira what's up

So I was a massage therapist As well but in my previous Experience personally it is Cheaper when you book as a couple That is why she did the couple Massage but I'm all for it Going by myself because It is a therapy session Sometimes I do ask stupid questions even though I was a massage therapist

but it's so what's the stupidest question that you'll ask your massage therapist

um well when i was taking my classes for it i've had every type of classes uh questions asked for me to me so i don't know i honestly yeah can we do like a group session yeah uh being very um very you know yeah before we're like hey do you do a hand job Oh, really?

Wow. They're in the wrong place.

I said, no, you guys can't ask me that question.

No, she was massaging the hands, Megan. You don't have to dump that if you're talking about massages. I get those all the time.

What was the answer?

I have massaged my hands. What was the answer to that question? Yeah, what was the answer to that?

I looked at them. I was like, I don't think that's an appropriate question that you need to ask when we're in a couple of times.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I get it. I feel them.

We call them, by the way, for down there, we call them happy endings. We don't call them.

Happy endings. Yeah. I'm so sorry.

When you're massaging your hands, you get a hand job. So, all right.

Oh, okay. Yes. Dumping this. Can you please not say I'm on a dumpster?

Why? I just told you what it was. If the FCC is listening, I get.

I'm not getting fired over this.

No. I'll be okay with that. You're not getting fired over that. I'll be okay with that. It's true. I get massages on my hands, and they call them hand jobs. So, that's what they call them.

Oh, my God, I'm out of doubt. Oh, my God. I always started a different way.

Yes, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Happy endings are the other ones. All right, Victor.

You can find those masseuses on Craigslist.

Right. All right, we'll talk to you later. Take care of yourself.

Love you. Have a blessed day.

Snappling. When you laugh so hard, you snort. You might do that at Spike's phone scam. It's this morning at 6.50 on Mojo in the Morning. You're home of the phone scams. More of the roses. And the dirty of the 30s.

Mojo in the Morning.

This is Mojo in the Morning. Mike should feel guilty that he did this.

Very excited for another Mike is a bad parent topic.

It's Mojo in the Morning. Mojo, Spike, Shannon, Megan, Mike, Reese, here too, director of Social Impact. Michael Melvin Aguilar. No, it's Michael. It's Robert Michael. Robert Michael, that's right. I don't know, but Melvin would be a great middle name if your real first name was Mike. And not just your middle name. But all right. So Mike and Allie did something that I wonder if a lot of our listeners do. Go ahead, Mike.

We needed this day. I'll say that. It was a rough weekend. But we needed this day. We decided that on Monday when everybody had off, my daughter still went to school. And my son's daycare was still open, which we're paying for. Or sitter. It's not really a daycare. It's a sitter. but so we decided you know what let's just send him to the the babysitter for today let's just take a day and stay home and uh it ended up being a very good day but like i said we needed

We needed that day after the weekend. It was a rough weekend.

Well, you play it off like you just needed the day for mental health reasons. Will you explain the true reason what you needed?

The true reason is her and I laid in bed, and this is a brag. This is a full-on brag. I'm not trying to disguise it as anything else. We laid in bed naked all day long, the entire day. Nice. Oh, good for you. Nice. And did you guys? No, we just laid there. We just looked at each other naked. Yeah, we just looked at each other. Yeah. I said, hey, that's what you look like in the daytime. What an awesome day. It was nice. As parents of young children, you do not get that opportunity very often.

So you basically sent the kid off to the babysitter, the daycare, so that you guys could fornicate with each other.

Yeah.

I would call that really good self-care.

Yeah.

I'm serious. Did Allie feel guilty? I felt bad. And as a couple.

Did Allie feel guilty at all as mom? She's going, oh, I don't know if I want Milo to stay here with us.

We both had a moment of guilt. When I say we needed it, we didn't just need it for the sex. I mean, we needed it because it was a rough weekend. Sure.

We just needed time together.

Yeah, yeah. Are there any couples that have ever hired a sitter just for this reason? To lay naked so they have a sitter come? You know what? I think it's uh it is good because you guys never abuse that like you spend so much time with your kids like there are some parents that probably never spend time with their children and they're in daycare and you know whatever and they don't uh they don't ever do that you guys are are good parents like you guys are always with your kids but I look at it like we started talking because

we went out to we did go out to eat too but we went out to um while we were out to eat I was like you know what we never do we never because it would have just been Milo like he's always known cecily to always be there we've never because he's only two years old so this could have been that moment where he gets mom and dad by himself and we could have you know he could have experienced being you know having the attention of both of us the entire time and we just we kind of sent him off i feel bad that's where we started to feel bad like man like we i don't know i look at little things like that and i go should i i feel i feel really really bad like i feel like it was obviously at the time, it was, you know, it was what it was, but looking back...

But was it a good day? Was it a good day?

It was a bad day. Were you a better dad after that day?

Yes. See, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think that's great. I think it's wonderful that you feel guilty, because I think that that just shows what type of a person you are, but I don't think you should feel guilty. I think it was great. Maybe if it wasn't good for Allie, she feels guilty. Does she feel guilty? Was it good for Allie, too?

I think so.

She enjoyed it?

Yeah. Let's call her and find out. Yeah, call her. I was just kidding, but sure, absolutely. What an interesting way to celebrate the memory and legacy of the Reverend and Great Dr. Martin. That's another thing. That's another thing. Because when you said, I felt a little guilty, I'm like, ah, but no.

Isn't the whole idea that you take a day off and you're supposed to volunteer that day? Mike was in service. He was definitely in service. Do something in service. Brandy, what's up? It's Mojo in the morning.

Hi.

I just wanted to tell you from someone that has postpartum depression, getting time with your spouse is very, very important, and don't feel bad because the baby will have plenty of time to have that one-on-one with you guys. It is emotionally important and physically important to have that.

You holding up okay? Are you doing okay, Brandy?

oh yeah um my youngest is two i have four boys one's a bonus son it's my stepson and then the other three are mine but my last one was my hardest and like i go everywhere with him and my husband is it's not called postpartum depression but it's something with males Where he's worse than I am So we are never alone Yeah I know

Actually I've heard that Becoming more frequent Where men are faced with A form of postpartum depression Really? I've never heard of that I think it's called post paternal Depression or something like that

Something like that It's actually harder When the men get that I feel harder on the men And then the women, like my husband, he goes to work and I'm a stay at home mom. I have to send him about 10 pictures of the kids a day or he will blow up my phone or leave work and come straight home.

So do you also send him pictures of yourself, too?

I knew you were going to ask. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I think that's good.

That's good. Although that would make me more upset that I wasn't home, but that's awesome. What's going on, Brittany?

I just wanted to tell Mike, my daughter absolutely loves daycare, and I usually feel bad keeping her home because then she's stuck with me for the day than when I actually send her because she has so many friends and she has so much fun. So I wouldn't feel bad. I think he had a good day.

Do you ever send her to daycare so that you can have sexy time?

You know, I can't recall if I've ever had sex on the days that I send her off the top of my head. But we've definitely sent her when we've been home. Just because we've got stuff to do around the house, we need a grocery shop, and stuff like that. So I don't feel bad. Every parent does it.

Honestly, we felt guilty, but like four times, Mojo. Four times. That's all I'm going to say.

Four times. Wow.

That's the only time I'll ever brag about this because it'll never happen again.

Oh, good for you.

It'll never happen again.

Mark that day down, will you, please? By the way, did you guys both go pick up Milo from daycare? Did you guys go together? Yeah.

And it's the greatest thing in the world. Doing that stuff, we don't get to do that stuff. We're doing it together. He runs to the door and he always looks for me. He's like, daddy, daddy. And then both of us are standing there and he's like, oh, my God.

Do you have to check yourself as you got out of the car? Make sure that you were... Look for stains. No, pants are zipped and everything. We don't hold hands.

It's not that we're against PDAs. We're just always holding our phones. This is Mojo in the Morning.

Mojo in the Morning show. This one is going to be called the accidental work email. And it was just sent to me. That was that noise. That was the noise. Perfect timing on that one.

This is my story I had to tell this morning because it's so funny to me. I heard the funniest story at dinner last night. One of my friends sent herself a dressing room selfie wearing a bra to remind herself which one she wanted to buy later from whatever store she was in this weekend. But she accidentally sent it to her old work email address at the job she just quit. So the email, the picture she sent herself in her bra went to her old boss and the new girl who's replacing her at the job who's now getting her email. And, by the way, is very conservative. It probably got really shocked by her sending this bra photo, topless photo.

And she had quit that job already?

She quit that job over the holidays. And now she sent this half-naked pic to the old place. She meant to send it to her home address, but it automatically filled into her work address that she doesn't get anymore. So her former boss has now seen her in her bra. And I thought, this could be a good topic to lead off of, what did you email to work by accident? Or what did you email to the wrong person by accident?

Because that's classic to me. Go back to this girl for a second.

This is the girl who would never, never, ever post a picture of herself.

They think that she's doing it on purpose. That's probably what they're thinking.

Right, because it was just a picture. There was no text. There was no anything.

They're like, wow, that's so awkward. Where is she going with this? They're probably all trying to talk about that.

She figured they might have thought it was like a F you, I quit thing or something. Like, oh, this girl's off the deep end.

By the way, why would she email it? Why wouldn't she just text it to herself?

I never text myself. You text yourself? Oh, yeah. I text myself all the time. Oh, I always email myself. You do? Yeah, I've done it a few times this morning already. Because then it automatically goes into my folder of things I might want to buy later.

Really?

I didn't even know you could text yourself.

Yeah. You just put your phone number in there and text yourself, and it comes up. I would be afraid.

But then it gets lost in your text. You never go back and look at it.

I don't know. Or you could text your email.

Well, I would have just saved it in my phone. I would have just taken the picture in the mirror or the dressing room or whatever. I never would have sent it anywhere.

You guys ever reply all to stuff not realizing that – or not reply all, but reply to stuff not realizing that you would Did reply all like that in our mail, it says Detroit, I heard or something like that. And I don't realize that everybody's on it. I think that it's, you know, the only people I'm replying to are the people that, you know, work at our radio station, not like the people from the other radio stations, because we got, what, six or seven other radio stations here. And you'll reply something and you'll make a joke about somebody else that's in the building and it will happen. That happened to me about 10 years ago. and I made a joke it was about Jay Towers and I made it not realizing and everybody thought man Mojo is really bold that he would do that on purpose it was a complete accident

because I didn't realize that the Detroit iHeart was on there.

You can't take it back. I hate when you say something to someone, to one person, and they forward it to the other person like it was, you know, oh, the script wasn't, you didn't submit the recording. Well, maybe if Lisa sent the script before 5 p.m. on Friday, I would have had it to you today. Anyway, here's the copy. And then they send it to Lisa with the email. Here's the commercial. And then Lisa gets to see what I wrote about her And I'm like well You're not supposed to forward the email I'm emailing you

Except for it's not Lisa, it's Alicia Yeah I love you Alicia What's up Jordan?

So I was in charge of casino night And sending out the pamphlet And putting all the banners on there I put on blackjack, I put on poker And added Russian roulette on there Instead of this roulette

Oh jeez It's Russian. And you sent it out to everybody.

Oh, yeah.

Was everybody a little scared to play those casino games? Yeah.

They came up to my desk. They're like, do you have an issue with us? Like, is there anything you want? Oh, my God.

Oh, God. Brittany, hi.

Hi.

What happened? This is a friend of yours, huh?

Yeah, this is a friend of mine. I'm going to call her out. Hi, Allison. If you're listening, she won't care. It's so funny. So this was a while ago. but she meant to text her husband and you know how sometimes you just automatically go to like the first person you last texted because it's usually your husband yeah um but it was her boss in this case and she sent this long like sexy passionate sex of you know what they're going to do when they get home oh my god and so her boss is like oh it happens all the time don't be embarrassed but she was so embarrassed it was so funny wow that i bet you the boss does though secretly go man she's a wild one oh first and this girl is a wild one so it i wouldn't be surprised if the sex is very detailed but thankfully the female so i think she kind of it wasn't as awkward as if it would have been a male yeah what's up kim hey mojo so um i my first day

on a new job so i'm very much a newbie um i was in the it department because they were getting my laptop set up and all of the, you know, the newbie type stuff. And they were just a really good group of guys who were laughing and joking. So I thought the camaraderie was there. And later in the day, I finally got to my desk and they sent an email out saying, hey, the server's down, you know, bear with us. So I accidentally replied all to my new friend and said, get your spit together.

Oh, boy. and and they they they didn't know you very well did they no not really i mean it was it was a good

company i worked there for 10 years people were kind of laughing about it so i had that going for

me but yeah it happened see if i got that i would go wow man this woman she's like tough you know you're not as tough as the russian roulette lady but you're you're tough what's up who's this, Rack? Rach.

Yeah. Hi, Rojo. I just wanted to share that I had been working with a recruiter who was really amazing, but in the meantime I was also breaking up with my boyfriend and I accidentally texted a really long and very pathetic message about how being just friends with benefits wasn't enough for me and I miss having sex with you and all of this very intimate stuff and he wrote back and he said, hey, I know that wasn't for me. Let's just consider that a dry run. And let's forget about it.

Oh, my God.

What a nice guy, though. Yeah, he was top class. I would send that message to my ex, but it still worked out really great, and I got the job at the end. Good.

That's awesome.

Thank you. What is this one here? I was working on booking a show at a venue, And I had a new staff member send a final email and accidentally used his personal email and his signature on his email account was Big Dick Bastard. Needless to say, I didn't get the venue and the employee was fired. That's the best signature ever. I want to know who that guy is.

My favorite part of my job is assuming I'm going to get fired every time my boss wants to talk to me.

is mojo in the morning mojo in the morning ciao is shannon a thief let's find out uh let's let you judge uh mojo spike shannon megan mike on 104.5 snx channel 955 and 92.

kiss fm so what happened shannon so perhaps you are all gonna label me a horrible person but i am convinced you would have all every single one of you on this radio show done the exact same thing that i did so over the weekend one of my girlfriends texted our like big group text of friends that she had gotten a hold of a promo code for spanks uh like the spanks website that made your order 100% free okay sounded too good to be true she even said that but she's like I just placed my order and I got more than 400 of clothing for zero dollars didn't have to put in your credit card info so it like wasn't a scam or anything like that you literally filled your cart put in your shipping address put in the code and your order came to zero that was my first

question as it did you have to put in a credit card because it was probably a fishing site or

Right, right. And it really was Spanx.com. Like, I've ordered stuff from that website before. So she's like, hurry, hurry, hurry. Everybody, fill your cards up and buy stuff. Use this promo code. So all of us went on the website and put in orders. Sure enough, the code worked. I got a turtleneck bodysuit, Megan. I got some leggings. Really? I got a bunch of thongs. This is so interesting because I don't know if Ellen's busy or not, but Ellen, did you get the code? This happened so fast. Because I didn't get the code from Shannon either. Well, I was too busy filling my cart. So I filled my cart.

Got to take care of you first.

I couldn't believe it. My order comes out to $0. So we're all thinking, all right, either somebody who's working at Spanx has a grudge, and this was their big screw you to the company. Or somebody really messed up, and they were about to get fired. Or the company was genius and this was some big sort of marketing thing to get some talk. However, two days later, I got an email on Saturday morning. Order canceled.

Wow.

I was so bummed. How can they do that? My question for you is, would you have placed an order or would you have had too guilty of a conscious to do it?

Well, I would have not placed an order because I would have thought the same thing that Spike said.

But they didn't ask for credit cards.

I would have thought it was a phishing scam. No credit card. But I don't know how they can cancel an order like that. That just seems like it would be false.

All of us on the group text, all of a sudden, we're like, order canceled, ordered canceled.

Hey, real quick, go back to Megan and Ellen not getting the code. Yeah. Is there any truth to the rumor that you did give that code out to some people?

The person that I was with, I gave it to. She was standing right next to me.

And who is that person? I didn't call her out.

It was Spike's girlfriend. Wait. Oh. Because she was. Megan and Alan. She was standing right next to me when this was happening. Megan. So I was like, Meg, get on your phone right now. Oh, you were like, oh, the only important Megan in my life. You know, Spike's Megan. Not the Megan that I've known for years. No, no, no.

Now you know where you rank.

No, no, no, no.

Now you know where you rank.

It seriously happened so fast. Spike was right there when it happened.

Shannon got the code as she was standing there with my girlfriend. So she's like, Meg, hurry up. Type this code in. Hurry up. So wait a second.

I could not be happier that your order didn't go through. Exactly.

And Megan and Ellen, I would like you to know that it wasn't only Shannon that did not share. It was Spike and his girlfriend that did not share also.

I will say this. Because they would have shared too. It happened so quickly that by the time some of the girls in the group went to place their order, it wasn't valid anymore.

Really?

Yeah.

I believe it's never mine to share. Mojo, if you gave me your Netflix password and someone else said, I'm trying to get into Netflix right now, do you have a password? I would not share Mojo's password. It's not mine to share. That is the same thing and you know it. That is different. If you have a secret discount code, it might not work. If 7,000 people might use it, it might not work.

If you have a secret discount code that you know that a bunch of people are using, why would you not tell somebody else? Are you trying to keep it to yourself and hope that the rest of the world has to pay retail?

No, it's just not mine to share. You entrusted me with a code.

No, that's different. Malarkey. Yeah.

Malarkey.

Absolute malarkey.

Well, it bit me in the ass because the same thing happened to me over the holidays. I went to order Dunkin' Donuts on the app, and it gave me a free coffee. I was like, what is this? I didn't have any rewards. I don't have any discounts or anything. It just gave me a free coffee. And I was like, it must be some kind of free coffee day or something. I don't know what's going on. well I'm gonna go back and switch my small to a large and take advantage of this and then I went and switched it and it canceled out my order and the code and I was like see that's karma you know what it is it is karma you get greedy you start telling you start taking advantage of it you know what you are and it's gonna disappear you are that you are the people that

go into these department stores and

And steal things from the department stores.

You were going to steal a large coffee.

They gave me a free coffee.

And Shannon is too. Let me see if they'll give me a bigger coffee. Shannon is these.

You would have been on that website so damn fast. If it was Tommy John.

Let me ask you a question.

Look at his head. Oh yeah, I would have.

Let me ask you an honest question. If you were in the mall and saw all those people busting into the Louis Vuitton store to steal things, you wouldn't. But you'd send your kids in there. You'd say, Smith, go run in there and go grab something.

How genius would this have been, though, had they kept it and it been a marketing thing?

Oh, that would be genius.

Honestly. A lot of new traffic, new first-time customers to their site. For sure. Jenny?

Well, not really, because you guys aren't sharing the code. Yeah, right. Jenny, what's going on?

I saw a massage, like, weighted towel. It was, like, at Meijer or Walmart or something like that. And it was, like, 20 bucks on sale, normally, like, 25. I'm like, okay, I'll get it. I can just relax, whatever. I get to the register, I rang up a dollar I went and got all of them And I gave them out my birthday and Christmas gifts last year I don't know if it was a glitch And then Michael's did the same thing They had those Tooth Fairy chocolates, normally like 12 bucks Rang up to like 75 cents I bought like 20 packs of them

What would you do, Jenny? Jenny, what would you do if you found out that For every one that you bought, every one of those blankets An employee got fired That made that mistake

Oh, don't make that mistake

um well considering the high demand of jobs right now i'm sure they're fine would you would

you give them a blanket to to warm themselves when they didn't have a roof over their heads

i i i yes uh tori what's happening hi how are you good good the same thing happened to you yes a friend of mine let me know about an 80 off target promo code on the target app So I went on and I ordered about $300 worth of stuff Because I did not want to get all crazy And then them actually charged me the original price later Because it was on my Target card And I received everything And they never charged me But they ended up taking it off later that day

Wow

Did you share that code with your friends, Tori? Did you tell everybody else? I did Yeah

See that? What a friend

Wait

You were hoping she said no You were hoping she said no

Don't rope me into this It wasn't my code I didn't have it I didn't use it

What's up Andy?

Hey buddy Hey I went into Gordon's Foods And I was looking at the hot dogs I seen they had those pre-packaged Pre-cooked prime ribs Great big you know 10 pound slabs of them They missed a couple of zeros On the slip 374 for like 10 pounds Of prime ribs Dang I walked out of there with like 3 or 4 of them And you know what? They never caught it at the register.

It doesn't matter even if they do catch it at the register. I have to give it to you. Michigan law, the Consumer Affairs, they have to sell it for the price. Now, online is different. Online, they could say, oh, it was a computer mistake.

Andy, why have you not invited us over for some meat?

Well, this was a few years back. Okay.

Listen, that's a lot of meat. You got a lot of it there. That was a lot of meat, and it was all good time-rids. Isn't that the best? All right. Thank you for the call, man. I appreciate it. You gotcha, buddy. Take care.

This is Mojo in the Morning.

How many quality questions can we get to? It's another senseless survey on Mojo in the Morning.

Hello. Hi, this is Mr. Bob Dabalina calling from the U.S. Senseless Bureau. We got your census in the mail that you filled out for us earlier this year. And the last page wasn't filled out. The back had three questions that were left blank. It's a common mistake. Just wondering if we could just run through them really quickly. It'll take about 30 seconds.

All right, make it quick. I'm on my way out the door.

Okay. Just wondering if you buy or lease your car.

I lease it.

And are you afraid to fall asleep for fear of a hedgehog eating your brain while you sleep?

Uh, no. Come on. This is not the Census Bureau.

This is the Senseless Bureau, and it'll just take about 30 more seconds here just to the last two questions. Armed with nothing but feather dusters, who would win in a tickle fight? Hugh Jackman, Will Smith, or The Rock?

Come on. Are you kidding me? Just need your answer on that one. You need my answer on that one. Who are the contestants again?

Hugh Jackman, Will Smith, or The Rock?

The Rock.

And who's your favorite astrophysicist?

Dude, last question. I got to go.

Do you ever wake up and say, you know what? F*** it, I'm not swearing today.

All right, take it easy. That's all you're going to get.

I didn't think you were going to have that guy answer one question. He didn't seem like he was into it.

Want more senseless surveys? You're downloading podcasts now? Hear endless podcasts at mojointhemorning.com. It's Mojo in the Morning. Five, two, three, four, five.

Sweet.

Five lies to tell your mind.

We do Five Lies Tell Your Mom and Jamie on with us right now. Jamie? Hi. Where does your mom think you are right now, Jamie? She thinks I'm at the courthouse. Oh, why would you be at the courthouse?

To pay some tickets.

Oh, okay. Well, we're going to actually have Five Lies Tell Your Mom surround that. We're going to give you five lies that we've made up, and if you do all five of them while your mom is on the phone, you'll win her a prize. Okay. All right, so here's what you're going to say. Lie number one, you're going to say, Mom, I need you to bail me out of jail. Okay. Lie number two.

Say, I went to pay my ticket, but they detained me. Okay.

Lie number three. There was a warrant out for my arrest.

Okay.

Lie number four.

They claim I skipped a court date.

Okay. And lie number five, can I borrow $2,000 for the fine?

She's going to kill me.

We're going to call your mom up and see what happens for five lies to tell your mom.

All right.

Oh, mom. Yes. I need you to bail me out of jail. What? I went to pay that ticket, and they ended up detaining me. For what? Because they said that I had a warrant out for my arrest. For where? For what? Because they claimed that I skipped the court date. No, you didn't. Yeah, they're saying that I did, and I need to borrow $2,000 for the fine. I don't have any money yet. Mom, I got to figure this out. If I don't get this $2,000, who's going to get my son off the bus and get my two-year-old or son of dad, you know? What am I going to do?

I'm going to have to figure it out, Jamie.

Mom, I really, really, I cannot sit here. I have to go to work. I'm going to lose my job. I know that. I'm, like, freaking out.

Where are you? What county?

I went to where the ticket was from, and I just, I don't know what to do.

Oh, my God. Your attorney came.

But they're saying that I skipped it because I wasn't there. You weren't.

Oh, my God. I'm taking the call, John, right now.

Mom, I really, I, like, really. I'm taking the call, John.

You want me to talk to her? You want me to talk to her? Yeah. Jamie, all right. I'll talk to her. Hello? Hello. Marcella, hi. Hi. How you doing? This is Sheriff Mark Spackle. How you doing? I'm good, sir. Yes. Your daughter is in a world of hurt.

I know. And the funny thing is, is we were there. Her attorney showed up half an hour early. And went to court without her.

Yeah, well, you know, sometimes s*** happens, right?

Yeah, well, she had to salute some of the best people.

Here's what we're going to do. We're going to lock her up. We're going to keep her in here for about 90 days. And then after that night.

I can bail her out, though, right?

Well, if you can get down here in the next, say, hour, can you do that?

I'm going in right now and can't pay my doctor's appointment. Yes, sir, I will get down there.

Yes. or you can do one thing for me. What's that? You are her mother, right? Yes, sir. I want you to make a pledge for me, okay? Will you repeat after me? Yes, sir. Say, I, Jamie's mom. I, Jamie's mom. Do solemnly swear. Do solemnly swear. That I will not kill Jamie.

I will not kill Jamie.

When I find out that she had me on Mojo in the Morning's Five Live.

Jamie, I'm going to put your f***ing head off.

I'm so sorry, Mom. Don't kill me. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you. I'm like chills right now, and I'm ready to cry because you don't get in trouble. I'm literally shaking in the car because I know you're going to kill me. I'm going to work. I swear. Oh, my God.

You know what? Maybe we should lock her back up. What do you think? You should keep her.

It's going to be easy because I'm killing her.

Mom, she just won you the best night ever because she said you really deserve it. We're going to pick you up at your house in a limousine and take you out to the casino so that you can go have a great time.

Oh, that's awesome. I'm so telling her. You're dead.

You are dead. Well, do me a favor. Kill her after you go because you don't want to get arrested and have Sheriff Mark Spackle put you in jail.

I thought it was Mark Spackle calling. Oh, s***. That's a big one. Oh my god, you are so bad You owe me a cocktail

Me, me You don't owe her a cocktail

I owe her a cocktail

That's right, exactly

Yeah, I even went in the wrong Wait, wait, hold on.

What do you look like, Mom? I'll take you out for a cocktail.

I'm going to keep that to myself. It's Mojo in the Morning. Sweet. Five lies to tell your mom. Get rewarded for lying to your mom. It's okay. Text mom to 95500. Talk funny. Back to more Mojo in the Morning. Talk funny. He makes me laugh because he looks like an old guy in a hospital. Now, more Mojo.

mojo in the morning show follow us on instagram facebook tiktok twitter just search mojo in the morning or mojo in the morn so megan what's going on what are we talking about here is this

a red flag or not because i'm raising my red flag up real high but uh somebody in my life i'm not gonna name because they deserve shame but i'll be a good person today it's the holidays He's bringing out the best of me. So this was not a red flag and they could not be more wrong. So a friend of mine is getting married and he told me that his soon to be wife, so his fiance, decided after they got engaged, this was a few weeks afterwards, she had posted photos of their engagement online and at the same time had sent DMs to her exes announcing that she was getting married.

She told her exes that she's getting married?

Yes. For what reason? Great question. You're asking the correct questions. Unless does she have children with one of them? No. Sorry, I did not mean to get that right. I get very passionate about this because I think this girl is crazy.

She's just petty.

She's very petty. And don't get me wrong, I love a petty Betty. Like, I live for a petty queen. But this to me gave me icky feelings. It gave me the ick. Because I think she's trying to say Hey guys, last chance Last call for alcohol

That's what I was going to say It means either one of two things Either she's getting married for the wrong reasons Or two, she's not over those exes

See, I take it as She just wants to throw it in their face But why? Still a red flag for her room to be Right, far past that

You would think I love when people call me immature And then these are the people I find out are finding partners in life. What does your friend think of this?

When he found out that she did this, what were his thoughts?

I love him, but obviously it's me we're talking about. Men are stupid. And he's like, but I love her. And I'm like, I think your love is misguided. But that's just me, and he has happiness in his life, and I don't. So I don't really have room to talk on this one. But I think it's a big problem. him and he's like i well i just think that she was you know kind of took your side and was like just kind of bragging a little bit that she's in a better place than these guys well i i didn't i

didn't mean that in a nice way by the way i'm saying like she wanted to throw it in their

faces that she is engaged and has moved on and did we forget how to subtweet about people like you can brag about it but we don't tag them like you don't send it directly to them so it's it's

interesting it did anybody know anybody else that has ever done this before before they got married they did like one last call out to the people that they were in a relationship with and and told their their exes hey i'm about to go do this um and is there any reason why you would do this like is there any reason why you would call them like is there any good reason why why you would 844-MOJO-LIVE 844-665-6548 If I'm him, I'm a little You know, feeling suspect About this whole thing I'm feeling that there's something going on Yeah, like there's one last There's the last thing going on

Shannon brings up a good point The only appropriate time you do this I think is if you have kids with somebody Well, because you need to let them know that they're about to get a step-parent Right, right Any other situation

Seems weird

Well, and also the other thing, too, if you had kids, they probably already knew that you were in a relationship and getting married, right?

Right, and going to get engaged or married or, yeah.

I always – have you ever seen the whole toast at a wedding where the best man says, and if you were an ex of this person, bring your keys up here and, you know, his keys to his apartment. Oh, it's such an awkward thing.

No.

I can't believe people do that. That actually broke up a couple that I knew that I used to work with in radio. Because the best man did that, and actually there were a few exes that were there. And one particular was not even supposed to be invited, but he insisted that they invite her. And she came up and legit brought his key. It was a legit key. And that actually turned out to be a really bad situation.

Why am I never invited to this place?

It was unbelievable.

I would die to be there.

What's up, Amy?

Hi. Morning.

What's going on?

you think about Megan's friend well yeah that's I think it might be a little kind of petty my ex-husband who I've been divorced from for almost 20 years messaged me out of nowhere that him and his new wife are pregnant why and I don't get it because after him and I split he ended up with a man okay for several years and that split and then he met this person who is substantially younger

and he's 40 41 maybe now and obviously not over you i mean that's the big thing like why is he crawling up in your dms like bothering you you're the past yeah i i don't get it that's wild i didn't

respond yeah i wanted to i really wanted to like what makes you think your ex-wife cares about you and what your new wife is doing right well you should have been a better person yeah you should

have responded with a who's this got a new got a new phone what's up felicia hey um i was just listening to you guys this morning we listen to you my husband and i on our way to work always to you guys in the morning, but I just wanted to say that I totally agree with Megan. That's weird. Why would you worry about what your exes think about your new marriage? You should be focusing on your new husband not focusing on your exes. Don't you think if your ex reached out and did this to you, you would be like, I dodged a bullet. Yeah.

I think you were a crazy person, which it sounds like she is.

Mojo in the morning. What's up, Derek?

Hey, Mojo Hey you guys Well, so my take on it I think the guy is a simp It seems like He may know That she still could be Possibly friends with those guys But if I was in that situation I would not want her contacting Anyone that she used to talk to You know

Although he would look controlling though If he really put his foot down and said that Don't you think?

Well, yeah, I think that, you know, he should have, like, told her, like, hey, why are you contacting your exes? They don't matter. Only thing that matters is up to you.

You're damned if you do if you're damned if you don't as a guy. Because if you say something about it and, like, I don't like you contacting these ones, you do look like you're controlling. But you should be able to say, hey, I think that's stupid. And if you don't do anything, then you do. What did he say? You look like a simp?

Yeah.

What's up, Jenny?

Hi. I think the real question is, why did she have contact with all of them up until that point? And why did she wait until then? I don't think it's the same thing. Yeah. Right.

Yeah, because she must have. There were still possibilities before she was engaged?

That's the big red flag. Or did she just reach out out of the blue, which is strange as well.

Either way. Either way, it's weird. And he should be, like, running.

Yeah, exactly. Thank you for the call. Take care of yourself.

Yeah.

I love the callers that we got a couple of callers ago. There was like the husband and wife that sit there and listen to Mojo in the morning together. It's kind of like bringing couples together. Although, could you imagine you bring topics up like that and then she side eyes him going, you did this or she did that. Do we cause fights with some of our topics? Possibly.

Ever circled back to your ex and have a workout? Me neither. Put the phone down. This is Mojo in the morning.

My son, Luke, is taking up golf, and he's been really excited about golf. And we were just doing that topic just a few moments ago about inappropriate gifts that somebody bought for your child. I totally forgot about the fact that Chelsea bought Luke a putting game that we found out is like the beer pong of golf games. so she found it on Amazon and she thought it was like really cute that you know he could be putting with his friends he got so excited when he saw it he called all of his friends to tell him that he got this game it turns out it's a game that they play on college campuses as a drinking game so it's kind of like buying him a beer pong table but it's like the putting table and I forget what the thing is called but we were playing and it's for every putt that you make you're supposed to take a drink and all the rest of stuff like you like you read the actual directions and you find out that that's what it was but she just saw it online and said oh he's been taking up golf and he's really into it so i'll get him this putting game and it turns out now our son's actually uh wondering where his case of beer is to go along with that i have a

question for you you said earlier last hour that you think the kids are getting too old to get all these christmas gifts and stuff do you participate all in any of the shopping to get your kids

Are you like the typical dad? You're as surprised as they are is what you got them for Christmas.

It is 100% Chelsea. And I think I might have even mentioned this before we went on our break that it's equally as fun to see them opening up their gifts because I have no idea what they're going to be opening. I sit there as the father watching my kids open it up going, oh, that's great.

Where do you get that? I love that. guys are always like surprised but oh what did i get you because you know they like moms just all everything falls on moms you know dads are just big dolts and having to shop and everything i i

like i had there was a couple of things that you know chelsea you know bought the kids uh for for christmas that i'm that i was looking going wow i wonder you know you know what that cost you know i wonder what you know what what that was and i have no idea like what it is and then there was one time i even opened up or there was even a gift that was my gift it was a gift for me that i thought was a gift for the boys that you know i'm like oh well here's here's one more gift over here and they're like no dad that was your gift because i'm equally as surprised of of when

the these gifts uh you know get brought about so my dad kept asking my mom what do you want for christmas what do you want for christmas and she kept telling him and he would keep asking he wasn't paying attention or writing them down so finally she just went out and bought everything she wanted gave it to him and said here i bought everything i want for christmas you can wrap it up wrap these up and give them to me he took them wrapped them without even looking what was in the boxes and gave them to her well actually he forgot to give them to her she found them the next day uh in the pile in the corner of the room so like he wrapped them but he didn't even know what he gave her because he not only did he not shop for them he didn't even look at him when he wrapped oh my gosh so that's how little involvement uh dads are when they you know they just the poor it falls on mom all the time to do all the shopping so you know how i say that chelsea

is very hard to buy for like i'll i'll say that she will return pretty much everything that i you know uh should buy her you know and she'll you know she'll usually you know before it used to be a joke in my house that i would just leave the receipt with everything in it like not even a gift receipt but leave the full-on receipt and the instructions on how to return it because before I would buy it I would ask them because I knew she was going to return it well I have found that she's not the person in the house that is the most difficult I am the person in the house that is the most difficult so last night we were having a discussion about our Christmas gifts that that we have purchased for each other over the years and that I am not the person that will return the gifts i'm the person that just never uses the gift oh really oh really so a little bit about

that so weird that's so shocking so strange i've done this i guess with your gifts too

come on explain so chelsea chelsea over the over the years has purchased for me like experience gifts weird only to notice that i never go with the experience yeah megan shocking how many years

ago did i get you that two three years ago still haven't gone still i got him a because i actually thought i knocked this out of the park i was so proud of you or proud of myself really for getting this for you a sensory deprivation tank because mojo needs to get off of his phone and relax for an hour and he still hasn't done it in two three years at this point shannon and i finally we felt

like we finally hit a home run we were like oh my gosh he's so difficult to shop for but all he talks about all year is this one restaurant has the best ice in the world and it's so much better for his drinks we went and bought the actual went to the restaurant supply store did the research to find out where does he where did they get the ice for that restaurant thanks shannon thanks shannon it was called amazon shannon found it she did the leg work it sat in this studio in the corner of the room for like nine months until he claimed that what did he claim that we were trying to

take it home with us no no he actually had a halfway decent excuse because he wasn't allowed to lift anything over five pounds after his heart surgery.

Thank you, Shannon. Now, we could have lifted it for you. We offered to take it to his house. What I claimed was, what I claimed was, I couldn't find it any longer, only to find out that Shannon was using it as her desk in the studio. I was. As a place to.

Yeah, I missed that.

Ellen, will you call Chelsea real quick so that she can. She's on. Enjoy the fun. Chelsea, are you there, Chelsea? Hi, this is my wife, Chelsea. Chelsea, are you there? caller hello

there's a note that she's in an elevator

so we might have dropped we might have dropped

She had to call her back. She might have dropped the call.

Okay.

Or she just didn't want to list the long list of gifts that she's bought you and that you never used. Chelsea, are you there? Chelsea.

Chelsea. Did I lose her? Dial her back. I can hear her there. I can hear her. Chelsea, I can hear you.

Hang on. We have to call her back.

So as you can tell, I guess I don't use a lot of the gifts that you guys buy me. You guess?

What did she buy you this year, though, that you didn't use?

I want to know. Well, it hasn't come yet. It hasn't come to the time to use it. But I will be using this year's one. So let me tell you that she bought me. She knows that I love cars. So she saw that there was this experience where you could drive cars on that M1 raceway. That M1 race, whatever that place is. Oh, yeah. That, you know, people drive their crazy, overly expensive cars on. And there was some kind of a charity auction thing, and she bought a charity auction where I get to drive somebody else's car. Which, by the way, as you guys know, I am a horrible driver. Yeah. And I will say this. Whoever's letting me use their car, they're in a world of hurt. They're about to be. They better have liked that charity that they donated their car to. But she said last night when we were having dinner, she said, you know, it really bothers me that over the years that I've bought you all these great gifts, and you have never used them. And she gave examples, and here were a couple of the examples.

I think we got her back on.

Okay, Chelsea, are you there? I'm here. Hi, Chelsea. I just want you to know that these guys are also piling on me that I guess I don't use their gifts that they've bought for me. So you should not feel so bad. I guess this is something that I do to a lot of people.

There was no greater relief than a month ago when we all decided we weren't going to buy gifts for each other in the studio. Because we know it's so difficult to shop for Mojo, and he never uses the gifts we give him.

So what have you bought for me that I have not used?

At one point, we wanted a motorcycle. So we got you motorcycle lessons. because I just thought that would scare you enough you wouldn't want the motorcycle anymore. Never use that. Then you were gung-ho on wanting to learn how to fly a plane. So the boys got you a couple of flight lessons. Never use that. And it's all about the experiences. I try to get you experiences versus gifts because, you know, you're very hard to shop for. So this year I got you this, which I thought was so cool because you're obsessed with cars. You drive over the speed limit all the time. So I got you this racetrack thing experience. And you're like, oh, yeah, that's okay.

I didn't do that.

I was, like, excited about it.

No, we're not.

I want someone who's really excited. Well, you're not going to use it anyway.

Give me at least until the expiration date to, like, to do it. I still have time.

One day, I had to buy the day, I had to buy the time.

I will do it.

You have to do it.

What's the date? Do you know?

It's in June.

Oh, good. Okay, good. I'll do it in June. So I got some time to build my way. I'm sorry.

Can we take bets on this? Because I'd like to bet against that.

Yeah. No one's taking your bet, Megan. No one thinks he's going to use it.

I got a lot of things to do before then. I've got to use Megan's gift, Spike and Shannon's gift, and all the other gifts.

We should just make them prizes on the show at this point.

We do use the ice maker. That ice maker is used a lot. Yes, we use it.

Okay.

We use it. Chelsea loves that gift. Good. We love that ice maker.

Good. I'm glad. Because when we gave it to him, he goes, oh, that's nice. Let's leave it here in the studio. We can hook it up here and make ice here.

Well, when you guys bought it for him, he could not lift.

No, I know. Yeah.

More than five pounds.

No, and I said I would bring it to the house and drop it off.

He's like, no, that's okay. I think we're going to leave it here. Yeah, we don't want you guys at our house.

Chelsea, real quick, real quick. I want to know what's worse. Is it worse that I don't ever use your gift, or is it worse that I buy you gifts and you return them all the time?

Well, I return something that I'm going to use. You just never use. So you are worse.

That is true.

So I am the worst person.

So when you bought her the Roomba vacuum for Christmas. Yes, Chelsea.

Remember that? But Joe has it, right? Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you understand how many listeners were offended that they wanted a Roomba and you did not, you know, that you did not use the Roomba that was so widely, it was a popular gift.

I have other vacuums that I use. It would have been an amazing.

gift if i didn't have a vacuum i i'm all about gifts that need to be used i have said to you before what did i ask for my birthday i asked for a new washing machine i i'm all about that so i'm fine with my kind of girl i already have vacuums and i didn't know what you were trying

to get at so hold on mike wants to call to call in and say something mike what's up it's mojo in

morning what up man how are you guys good what's going on doing that extreme experience i did that a couple years ago my old lady got it for me for my birthday i'll tell you what that was one of the

coolest experience in my life that's awesome my old lady got it for me too i was really excited

i'm in the process of you know getting my private private pilot license that's something you should work on if you want to learn how to fly a plane it's really cool man yeah i gotta be honest with

you lessons for christmas yeah you don't even want me driving a car let alone flying a plane but i do have the gift uh gift certificate from the the little plane the plane place at uh oakland airport that i still i'm gonna use it i promise you i'm gonna use that i'm gonna use all these

well i'll see you up in the sky one day buddy all right buddy take care of yourself by the way i've

I've never been cool enough to call my wife my old lady. I feel like that's not, you know, I don't know. Chelsea, how would you feel if I started calling you?

Don't. Yeah, you would.

I don't think that makes you cool.

You'll be needing a pillow tonight. All right.

I'll talk to you later. What's that smell?

Smells like another fresh scam.

Another world-famous phone scam happens at 7.50 on Mojo in the Morning. The holidays were great, but now's the time when the poor people that work in retail have to deal with all the returns that are coming their way.

I loved working retail until this week of the year, every year.

It used to be that it was like the day after Christmas. People would go right to the stores and start returning. What happens is people will open up their gifts and they're left underneath their Christmas tree for probably a week or a half or so. And then people are like, oh, we've got to clean up the house from the holidays. Oh, I'm going to return that. I don't like that sweater, or it doesn't fit me, or why would they buy me that? Those are all the things. And the poor people that work retail are the ones that get the brunt of it. Although returning is kind of interesting these days. I actually like, there's a couple of stores that are doing it where you can go into a FedEx store or a Mailboss, et cetera, or a UPS store, and you just go in with your item you show them your you know your return your your qr code qr code yep and then uh and they throw it into a bag and go i love when they do that a few times yeah actually i think they should do that more and i know that the that you know for the stores that have like uh brook and uh mortar stores that they don't like like i hate that i i always feel bad for those people that are at the stores. I noticed at Macy's. It just looks like...

Okay, that's what I was going to say.

It looks like the place has been... You know how there's been these stores that have been robbed by people where there's mass chaos? Macy's looks like that every day.

All the time.

It looks like there's been robbed.

I really have tried to avoid the mall the past year or two. You guys know this. I only go there if I need to make a return. One of my girlfriends just got a new job, And so she asked me if I would go shopping with her to get some clothes for her new job. So we spent a bunch of time at the mall a couple of days ago. Every store was like that. I mean, and finally I told her, I was like, Ash, my head hurts from trying to sort through all this crap just to find like the right side. It was such a mess.

Every store. I like how Kohl's takes. I'd rather go to the back of Kohl's and return my Amazon than go to a shipping store and mail back my Amazon. Why? To me, it's just easier. Like I'm already on my way home. I pass Kohl's. I can just jump out, run back there. It's right on my credit card right there same day. I don't have to find their – because they don't always give you packaging to send it back.

Sometimes you've got to find a box and find out a label. Doing what I was talking about, you don't need packaging. You go in there with the actual item and they throw it in.

Yeah, you don't even need to put it in a box.

Yeah, they throw it into a bag and they do it all for you. It has gotten more convenient. I just don't like having – I like the stores where if I'm going to go walk in, I don't have to walk into the store. You know what I mean? Nowadays, I want everything curbside. See, I still like the store. I still do, too.

I like walking through the mall.

I like going in stores. Well, they want you, too, because they want you to go in there and buy. They want you to continue to do it.

But you also, when you go into a store, have to look presentable. When you do curbside pickup, you can look a mess. It's fine.

We should write that down for a topic of what's the craziest thing anybody curbside pickup has ever. eyewitnessed of somebody wearing in their car.

Or not wearing it.

Or not wearing it. What's her name, Megan?

Right, right, right.

Mike, you had an incident just recently when you were trying to do a return. What happened with that?

So we had a date night in Detroit a week or two ago. And before we went out, I just got like a black shirt from H&M. And it was like an undershirt or whatever. And I got two sizes because you can't try them on. And their sizes are weird. Like sometimes they fit and sometimes they do not fit at all. so i just get two just so i can you know i know i'm gonna have to return one and uh so i go to return it and we stayed overnight in detroit so we had like a couple like i brought the h&m bag in and at some point we threw like the clothes in our luggage but also in that bag i guess and so we go to leave and i go to return the that shirt and i didn't realize that at some point i must have grabbed something off the ground and threw it in the bag and it was my wife's bra and underwear and so I go to return it and he's going through the bag and he's pulling out the shirt and he's like he looks at the bottom of the bag and he looks up at me and then he grabs it and I'd like to apologize to the dude over at Rivertown by the way uh he grabs it and then holds it up and he's like I don't think this is from here is this yours and I'm like uh it should just be the stuff I'm not even paying attention I'm looking out on my phone I'm like I should just be the stuff in there that I'm returning or whatever I'll just take a a gift card or whatever or I'll go spend it right You know, I don't care because I'm going to come back here a million times anyways. And he's like, no, no, we don't sell this. I think this is yours. And he hands me the bag again. And I look at it, it's a bra and underwear. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed right now.

Do you think he thought that you were trying to pull a fast one? Because people do try to return, like, underwear and bras and stuff. I don't know.

I didn't even think of that. I just was more embarrassed that he had to dig through our personal stuff and go through it. He was going to try to scan it at one point.

Dude, people, if you work retail, you got to call and tell us, have you ever busted the person that you knew was wearing those clothes?

Like the armpits smell sweaty.

Yeah. Or their perfume was on there.

They have to take it if they do that? All the time. We took anything back when I worked in retail. Really? It didn't matter.

What store was doing that? Because I know Nordstrom's does that.

I worked at Forever 21, and we took anything back. I mean, it never hit the rack again. Like, it got thrown away, essentially, but we would take back anything.

Nordstrom's is like Costco, where they'll take anything back. Same with REI. You can buy a pair of shoes, walk around for five years, return them.

Really? Yep. Even shoes? Yep. Because I know that a buddy of mine will buy shoes, and if he'll wear them, You know, like say he bought a pair of shoes at Johnson and Murphy, and he will put tape on the bottoms of the shoes. He is not. Yeah. Wear them for whatever it is, a wedding that he's got going on, and then he'll take the tape off, and then they can't see that the bottoms had been worn. Because a lot of times shoe stores won't do that.

Yeah, but then you have no traction.

Yeah. Right.

And when you say cross your legs, it looks funky. I took the shoes back, but I got a $3,000 ER bill from breaking my ankle.

I bought things on the racks that they'll have at Nordstrom's, which is, like, this is the best time of year to go shopping because everybody's returns come in there. And I bought a sweater one time that I swear to you somebody wore before, unless the guy tried it on. It had an abrasive amount of cologne on because you're like, oh, it kind of smells like the guy's cologne. You know what I mean? But you think that it's got to have somebody. And then you can also tell by the tags. So if the tag doesn't look like the tag that the store normally has, like if it looks like they put a new tag on it, that's when I can also tell that possibly it was used before. A couple of tweets that are coming in at Mojo in the Mourn says, Mojo, work at Macy's. You don't understand how many hours after the store closes that we have to pick up the store from all the crazy people that come through. Thank you to, I think it's Bethany here. A texter here, 95500, that says that they have actually in retail witnessed a person doing what Mike mistakenly did. And that is witnessed a person returning underwear and bras. They didn't understand that we have a policy against that. I would hope that you have a policy against that.

Yeah, like sometimes bathing suits and then...

Bathing suit stores don't do, they don't return them, right?

I don't know why, but trying to think. Yeah, they will, but it's all because of that stupid sticker thing. Have you ever realized how disgusting that is, though, still?

It's the same as not having the sticker there There's still vaginas going up against that

Is it a new sticker each time?

No, they do not replace that sticker If you send it back If it doesn't fit or something There's no way

So your vagina

Is touching

Multiples are touching it

This goes back to what I told you You should always wash clothes before you wear them Everybody buys new clothes at the store And just puts them right on

It's trying it on as well Like, they put that strip there for hygiene purposes. That's true.

Well, you need to wear another sticker on your vagina. Try them on.

Kelly, talk to us about this because you worked at the bathing suit store. Which store did you work at?

I worked at, this was a long time ago, I worked at Kohl's.

Okay. All right.

And I was young. It was a second job, and this dude comes in with a wet bathing suit.

Oh, no. What was the story?

And I just, well, that's pretty much it. And then I called, I was like, hold on, I need to call my manager. And the manager's like, no, return it. And I was like, are you freaking kidding me?

Wow. But you guys just throw it away or something or donate it to, you know, the Salvation Army thrift store, right?

That's my guess.

Yeah, you don't try to.

But it was like an even exchange. Because I didn't work customer service. I just worked the register. And he, like, brought the wet one to exchange with a non, you know, new wet one or not wet one. So I found that pretty disturbing.

Bonnie was at Costco. And what did you witness at Costco, Bonnie?

Oh, I was behind an older guy that was returning bed pillows that were 14 months old and had yellow stains all over them. And he told the girl he just didn't like the way that they felt.

Oh, my God.

That's so gross.

Yeah, you can tell that they've been used for a while.

Well, you're wondering where. If he was just laying on him with his head, let's put it that way. Yeah, I don't know. But they did return them, and it was pretty gross. That's all I know.

That's crazy. Here's one here, a texter that says, worked at a retail store. Guy returned a suit with condoms in the pocket. Yeah, that's probably it. If you don't actually empty your pockets out, the poor guy never got to use his condoms. Ellie, what's going on?

Hi, Mojo. Oh, my God. I just need to say, I'm also the same person that texted in about the bunny stew about sometime last year.

Wait, refresh my memory. We didn't read the text messages. Tell us what it said. Was that a text message today or in the past?

No. So it was a while ago when you guys were talking about how our parents get rid of our animals. I texted in and my mom fed me my bunny in a stew.

Oh, I actually do remember that story.

That's disgusting. Yes.

Okay.

You have a return story for us?

I do. I worked in retail for quite a while, and I worked at Target for about eight months, maybe a little bit longer. While I was there, I witnessed a man return a box that had not only lube, but it also had a ring in it.

Oh, jeez.

And it was dumped in.

Yeah, we got dumped in.

I can't say that.

Okay. All right. I guess you can't say C ring. It had a – the guy returned and had lube and a C-ring in it.

Do they sell that at Target?

Yeah, that's a bigger question. So, I didn't know that we had it, and he just came in to return it. He had a receipt and everything, and it was used. But wait, do they sell Target?

I'm going on Target's website right now.

Target does not sell that.

No, they do not.

Are you sure it doesn't come in, like, a box with condoms? I'm not sure. That's the thing, because we didn't really look. All we saw was that it was open, and it said on the box that it had...

Is it in the dollar spot? Is it?

It's not in the dollar spot. I know that much. But I want to say that was almost three years ago now.

It was like an inner tube for Barbie, and he was like, Desperation.

They really do have them. Do they really? Yeah, $20. Target does? All right, Target. Oh, my God. Michelle? Yes. Hi. You worked at Home Depot?

I did.

And what would people return there?

We would have people try to return, quite often, toilet seats. And.

And most of the time, it was so disgusting. I always hated it when I saw it in the return bin. And every so often, I, myself, would check to make sure, is it still new? Is all the packaging in there? And every once in a great while, the return person didn't check it. And it was the old toilet seat.

Oh, God.

Which then went in the dumpster at the Muskegon store when I was there.

Oh, my God. Wow. Well, thank you for the call, and thank you to everybody texting us telling us that Target sells love devices, too. Lots of them. Yes. DDoS. That's wild. That's pretty unbelievable. You could hit the spot at Target. I don't know. What section of the store do they sell it in?

I don't know.

Is it in the...

The pharmacy area, right?

Is it?

It's got to be near the condom.

It's not going to be in children's toys.

But that's amazing, though, that I've been down the pharmacy section. I know.

I feel like maybe that's only online, right? Really? No. I don't know.

Because even, like, Meijer has them.

Walmart has them.

Call us up. Tell us where. And tell us where in Target they sell these things. Because I have been to Target hundreds of times. I have never seen that. Not that I was searching for it, but I have never seen it. But I'm always amazed at the stuff that they have. They do have pretty much everything.

If you think you win them over with cash or food, you're right.

This is Mojo in the Morning. Time now for a phone scam on Mojo in the Morning. Spike actually recorded this phone scam two months ago. Do you want to explain why he recorded this two months ago?

Yeah, we had to hold on to it, and we couldn't play it on the air until this morning because it was about a gender reveal party. So we'd wait until after the party so we wouldn't spoil the surprise for anybody at the gender reveal.

Yeah, wouldn't that be a bust if all of a sudden we do that? So we're actually going to be phone scamming, who is this, Abby?

Abby, mm-hmm.

All right, and what's the story with Abby?

She was put in charge of getting the cake for the party by her best friend. Like, the couple asked her to get it, and they asked her to use the couple's great uncle, who's a baker. But listen to the confusion as Abby meets the great uncle, because that's me.

We will, we will scam you. Sorry, it's a catchy song. It's your home with phone scans. Mojo in the morning.

Hello? Hello there. I'm going to call on the speaker to Abigail Ch- please.

Hi, this is Abby.

My name is Grogu Jedha, Master Baker. The email said you needed a cake for a baby.

Yes. Well, the cake's not for a baby. It's for a gender reveal party.

Okay, I love a party. How old is a baby?

oh well the baby's not born yet um so it's really for the pregnant mom and the dad it's a gender

reveal have you heard of those no i never did that one but whatever you need i make it for you talk me through what do you want the cake to look like oh okay um so the cake's for a party

so at the end of the party we find out the gender of the baby by cutting into it you cut into the baby no no we cut into the cake it's pink on the inside um so they find out that they're having a

girl and then on top it says uh congratulations on your beautiful baby girl uh so on the top

it'll say nothing because we don't want to spoil the surprise so a pink a cake and it says on the top congratulations you're having a nothing no so have you done a gender reveal cake before it's kind of like a trend where you cut into the cake and it's either pink or blue so then you know it's a boy or a girl so it should be a pink and blue inside no it should be pink on the inside because it's a girl and then with nothing written on top no frosting no it should have frosting so a pink

cake with a pink frosting and nothing on written on top no um we want white frosting so that you

can't see the color of the cake on the inside which is white frosting but how about the blue

you just mentioned i can do a pinker cake with a blue frosting and then you'd be surprised when they cut into it because it's not a blue it's a pink i think if we did that it might be kind of

confusing for them so i just prefer if we just did white frosting i get it i apologize you must

think i hit in my head or something you want a cake that's a shape like an actual baby

no just a normal round cake with pink on the inside and white on the outside on top of you want just nothing just plain and what colors do you want the letters what letters you said

you wanted me to write nothing on the top of the cake oh my god um how about a cupcake so we make a three dozen of people. and a three dozen of blue i'm sorry maybe i maybe i'll have josh call you maybe he can explain it

better oh my little joshy i knew him when he was just a baby and now he's having a baby i'm so happy you need grogu jeddah master baker and i i have to give you suggestions because i've been baking a parties for 32 years how about i make it for you a cheesecake that's my specialty People like the cheesecake.

Yeah, cheesecake's good, but I'll have to talk to Josh and Peyton, and maybe they'll pick a different dessert, and we can get the gender-reveal cake from somewhere else.

I understand what you want. Okay, let me see. A plain white cake, when you cut into it, the cake is pink, so everyone can say, oh, my gosh, they're expecting a baby girl.

That's exactly, exactly what we want.

And on top of the cake, we write in the big blue ladders, we write, you just have been a victim of a mojo in the morning phone scam, Abby. This is Spike, and you're on the radio right now. Oh, my God.

Who am I talking to?

Josh and Peyton set you up.

They said, I'm going to kill them.

You were so sweet, though. You were trying to explain it over and over again.

I was like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, but he's not getting it.

Oh, my God. That's awesome. Abby, we're going to actually send you a copy of this phone scam so you can play it at the gender reveal party for everyone.

Oh, my God, that's great. Oh, my God, that's awesome.

We will, we will scam you. Your home of the world-famous phone scams. Mojo in the morning.

One tap, one tap, one tap, one tap, make some noise for Mojo, Mike Shannon from Mojo in the morning!

so i gave some edibles to a friend who was having trouble sleeping and has never used edibles like not the type of person that you know had ever partied like when they were younger too and and smoked or doing anything like that. And Chelsea and I got a call from her the other night that, or got a call from her spouse the other night telling us that she was sitting in a corner of the room crying. And I want to ask some of our Mojo in the Morning, you know, edible eaters or people who are smoke, does weed affect you like that who because i never have known anybody that will uh you know get uh get stoned and their stone is that they start uh they start crying that isn't that kind of wild could you imagine by the way that this is your girlfriend or wife and all of a sudden you look and she's in the corner sobbing and she can't explain why she's sobbing you don't know why she's crying? I've seen people do

that, though. Different strains have different effects on different people. It happens.

Sometimes you're in your feelings. I was going to say Megan is... Shut up, Shannon. I have never gotten high and cried in my feelings. It's my favorite, Megan.

Oh, my God. Megan, the night before Mike's wedding in the hotel, sobbing. Were you really? I love you guys so much. I love you guys. I'm just so happy to be here to do it.

I'm not a very emotional person. until I'm under the influence and then it's overwhelming, okay?

I loved it.

I do find that when I do get high, I get very either non-emotional or extra emotional.

Isn't that wild? I know. I want to see that side. Let's go. I got some more of these. These are the ones that we love, too, those gummies that we love. What the heck's that brand that Juana?

Oh, I do love those.

The blueberry Juana. But here's the here's the interesting thing I wanted to bring up. I was once so high I blanked doesn't have to be crying But what did you do that when you were so high sent photos of myself to Shannon?

They had to tell you, right?

Oh, that's true. In the bathroom, we are, like, really feeling ourselves. I was feeling it, dude. I was feeling it. I felt hot. I literally, I was so taken. I'm like, why is Megan sending me shirtless clothes?

Tyler, what's going on? It's Mojo in the Morning.

Hey, what's going on, guys?

How you doing?

Good. So, I got a story. This one time I was taking some edibles with a couple buddies of mine And we're all hanging out And I got so high that I was literally paralyzed on the ground And couldn't move Oh my gosh

That would scare me

Does that happen to you every time that you do this? Or is that just the first and only time?

That was like my early on experiences But the funny part was that I was so high and I couldn't move That I proceeded to lay there and watch my best friend have sex with his girlfriend

Oh my gosh And they were okay with you laying there doing that?

Yeah, we were all real high, and I couldn't move. I was just kind of stuck.

Were you, like, just having, like, a smile on your face or something like that? Or were you – do you even know what you looked like?

I wasn't really happy about not being able to move.

That's crazy. And they just kept going. What's up, Ben?

Yeah, Mojo, I'm out here plowing some snow over in Howell, Michigan. Listen to you guys. I heard you talking about the medibles.

Yeah.

I can assure you, friend, that I'm a pretty experienced. And I tell you what, I've eaten 125, 250 milligrams.

Wow.

I also work in the medical world. And so one Easter, last Easter, I was left home alone, and I thought, well, whatever. I don't have anything going on. I ate a 500 milligram, and I tell you what, Mojo, I'd go to the kitchen. I'd get real hot and spinny, and I'd just go back and sit in my chair and kind of just chill out. And that went on for about 14 hours. 14 hours?

I have no idea How many milligrams are in a normal Gummy

A normal gummy would be like 50 milligrams

Oh man You're a rock star Most gummies are 10

You get 500

How are you not dead Ever do that again Because that was not cool Like I say, I'm experienced But whoa That put me down Really, I just sat down a lot steadily as cats, like, all day.

Jamie, I was once so high, I...

It wasn't me. My father-in-law gave my wife, his daughter, an edible before we left their place. By the time he came home, she was crying about how she wants to remodel the stupid kitchen. And she was wigging out and everything. I called him, and he's like, I don't know what to do. You know, can you come pick up your daughter? It's not funny, man.

Mojo in the Morning thought for today. Don't hold your farts in. They end up traveling through your brain and give you a crappy outlook on life. This message of thoughtfulness from Mojo in the Morning.

Mojo in the Morning, Joe. Phone number is 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548. Telephone number, text is 95500. So if you're listening to us on the iHeartRadio app, don't call us, text us, and say, hey, give me a call, and we'll get you on to do the comments so that you don't have to be not listening to what we're doing. We want to continue the stream that you got listening to us on Channel 955, 92.5 KISS FM, and 104.5 SNX. So Chelsea and I are doing some cleaning up around our house. Eventually, I think that we're going to want to sell our house and, you know, get into something a little smaller just because none of the boys besides Luke are living with us right now.

I was going to say, what do you got, one and a half years until your youngest goes off to college?

Yeah, and, you know, we don't want him to go anywhere. Like, I'm trying to convince him now to don't go to college, and we'll use his college fund on bettrivers.com. And we'll make money and we'll live together.

After the breakup or makeup.

I want him to live with me for the rest of his life. I don't want him to go anywhere.

Oh, my gosh, this poor smothered child. Run like the wind, Luke.

And so we're doing a bunch of cleaning and going through stuff, and we found something very, very interesting. And I don't know if any of our listeners can relate to this, but we were cleaning up in one of our utility closet areas. And it usually normally just had like a ladder and mops and things like that that were inside of this. And it had a couple of other things that were kind of tucked in the back. And I said to Chelsea, I go, what is this stuff? It looks like it looked like kind of rusted and old and stuff because we've lived in this house for like 12 years. So I pull everything out of there and I go and look. And there's beer in the back where are some.

pump is beer yeah there's cans of beer and like in uh well i said to chelsea i go did you put this here and she goes no did you put this there and i go no i didn't put that there and then we thought to ourselves that was the hiding spot or is the hiding spot for one of our children it's either the hiding spot that luke that luke is currently using or it's the hiding spot that joe and jacob had so we went and pulled we went and pulled and it's you know you know where a sump pump is where you have like this you have like the little hood the little hood that's on top of the thing and we live up on a hill so our our sump pump doesn't rarely ever runs so we pulled the cans out and the cans are kind of like rusty on the top of the cans like they have like a little bit of like you know like oranges look so i go this isn't luke's because luke's not getting old beer If he's getting beer, he's getting new beer. Yeah. And knowing Luke, he's got the taste of a bottled beer kind of guy. He's not really much a canned guy. Okay. He's either on draft or he's doing it that way. So we ended up group texting all of the boys only to find out that my son Joe would use the sump pump as the area that he would hide all of his booze and alcohol when he was underage.

Yeah, he was the one I would have put my money on.

Right? Right. That was that was the one. So I I said to Chelsea, I go, oh, my God, I never I never thought about this. This is like actually not a bad hiding spot. I don't know if I should pat him on the back and say he's genius for this or yell at him and say, hey, you're still grounded, even though even though he's in his mid 20s. So I wanted to ask this question, where was your hiding spot for your weed, your booze or beer or whatever it is? Or where was your kids? Did you ever find your kids stuff? 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548. And if you're somebody that's listening to the show that has a high schooler, go look in your sump pump. My kids don't even know what a sump pump is probably too. That's the funniest thing, is that you look in that room, and it took moving stuff out because it's tiny. It's a tiny little area. Yeah. You know, it's a room basically built for a sump pump. That's it. And we would put stuff in there for storage. But to know that he could go in there and move a ladder and a couple of other things, Chelsea goes, he moved the mops and didn't even use them. What's up, Brayden? Hi.

Hi. So my hiding spot is I popped off the vent in my room and put it inside, like, the vent for, like, the air and the heat.

What did you put in there, weed or booze?

I mean, just about everything, vapes, weed.

Can't you, wouldn't that blow the smell, like, right into your room and make your whole room smell like that?

I thought so, but, I mean, I didn't put as much weed. It was more, like, alcohol and vapes.

Yeah, yeah. And your parents, none the wiser on this one. You got to go back and look And make sure that you don't have anything still there Like Joe did

Yeah that's in our old house too So the new people might Oh jeez

Yeah I wonder what the old people Or the people that are living in that house right now Think if they open that thing up And find all that stuff

There could still be quite a bit in there

That's funny Thank you for the call man I appreciate it

Yeah definitely you guys have a great day

You too. Allie what's up it's Mojo in the morning

Hey, so you know those ceiling tiles in the basement that you can move? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we have them right here in the radio station.

So one day we threw a ball up at the ceiling in the basement, and one of the tiles fell down. And I kid you not, like 20 beer cans fell out of it. So we looked, and there were hundreds of beer cans from my older siblings above the ceiling tiles.

It's funny, your older siblings did it, but you never thought of doing it. Were you the good kid?

No, my parents realized after three kids it's better just to buy it for us.

That's awesome. Vanessa, what's happening?

How are you? I'm good.

What's going on?

I would hide my weed in the closet where I would hang my hangers, like in that little book back there. I would hide my weed all the time, and nobody knew about it.

Wow. So you got through all of life living with your parents right there, and everything was right there in that closet hanger rack.

Pretty much. They never knew. So secret hiding spot.

There you go. You're also a ceiling tile person, Jennifer?

Yes, sir. When I was growing up, my siblings and I would hide our beer up above the ceiling tiles in the drop ceiling of our basement. Oh, same thing.

new yeah that's a popular spot were you ever worried though that you know like there was gonna be somebody having to do like work there's gonna be a leak or something in the ceiling and

there there was gonna be a guy coming we should have been but we just weren't we didn't think

about it funny that uh all these people use the ceiling tiles uh april where would you guys hide

yours oh on a pontoon boat they have a little horn well if you take the cover off there's a

little bit of a gap and it's the perfect thing for a pre-roll doobie no i love it a pre-roll doobie sitting right there but you got to smoke it fast otherwise what happens to it it grows a little stale right gets a little uh gets a little rough gets a little hard we're talking weed right now you're the expert you want to make sure you got to make sure it's like it's like a cigar you got to keep it in a humidor so to speak you know keep it nice and uh nice and soft what's going on uh joe hey you know what i'm talking about joe right yeah yeah joe's fine yeah what's going on

so um i grew up with my grandma and i love her to death but she's a little big and uh when i was growing up you know i was the goody two shoes i i made my room everything else and so uh i would organize my room so that it was a little small path to get to my closet. But she couldn't get to my closet. Oh, that's so mean. And I would just hide my weed and I would just hide my weed in my jackets in my closet.

By the way, you just called your grandma fat, basically, on the radio. I know. And you were hiding weed from the poor lady. Merry Christmas.

But let me say this. She knows it and she jokes about it.

You need to now, since it's legal, share with her.

Oh, I have. I have.

Good. Good.

You guys, some of these hiding spots inside tampon tubes, people would unscrew the electrical plates on the outlets and put weed in there.

Oh, jeez.

I mean, those are genius.

Bruno, you almost blew it, though, didn't you?

Yeah, I did.

Where would you hide yours?

So my mom has a kitchen in the garage, and I was driving, and I realized I had an ounce of weed with me. I said, I can't drive with that. So I rushed in the garage. I threw it in the oven. I figured nobody's going to look in the oven. Two days later, my mom walks into the oven to preheat it, doesn't look in the oven, just preheats it, walks out, smells like weed, and opens it, and all the weed is burning.

That's great. Mom got a little contact high making dinner for you guys, right?

I got it that day. She thought I was going to bring my whole house down. Yeah.

Holly, where would you hide your condoms?

I would hide them in the little tin Altoid container. And my purse was sitting on the counter, and my dad was like, oh, hey, I need a mitt. Yeah. Oh, no.

That's not a good hiding spot.

Oh, no.

I was like, no.

How old were you at the time?

I think I was like 15 or 16.

What did he say? He said, use these, right?

Yeah, exactly. He's like, well, I'm glad you have them, but yeah, I'm not going to look in your purse again.

Right.

And then Grace, this is funny because Grace got accused of something because of where the stuff was hidden. What's going on, Grace?

Is that me? Oh, yeah. So we bought a new house, and we have a 19-year-old son. And we thought the house was empty, and we were putting stuff away. And this is like we were in the house two months. And then above our fridge, you know how sometimes there's little cupboards above your fridge that nobody really goes in because you can't reach them? So we were in there, and his son is very quiet. And so we were opening the thing, and he found, like, these little Captain Morgan bottles, you know, like the kind they have on planes?

Yeah.

There was a whole bunch of Captain Morgan caught up, and he was like, oh, my gosh, what an idiot. Why would he hide it there? He was so sure it was his son. And then he finally talked to him, and his son denied it, denied it. And he was like, why would he lie to me? I can't believe he lied to me about it. And he was just so upset. And for a while, I was like, I wonder if that was really his. And so I finally texted the old owners of the house, and she said it was where she used to hide the food.

Oh, no. Oh, so the poor kid got in trouble, and it wasn't even his fault.

No, it wasn't.

Oh, my God. That's amazing.

And it's funny, we still have those in his drawer. Somebody's got to do those.

At that point, Dad needs to do a shot with his kid.

No kidding.

I know. Thanks for the call. Have a great day. A string of horrible decisions and bad hires led us to this. Sorry, this is Mojo in the Morning. Home of the phone scans.

War of the Roses. And the dirty on the 30. Mojo in the Morning. Mojo in the Morning, Joe. So Lucy got injured.

Yes, poor sweet girl. Is she doing okay? She's doing fine. We had a family dog that got a little excited and jumped up on her and gave her pretty good gashes around her eye. So she was in the hospital yesterday morning while I was on the air, which is always really fun when it's like severe mom guilt. But she was fine. Andrew was with her. Um, and so she, she has, uh, some glue, lots of glue, lots of sterile strips, lots of swelling, lots of bruising. I mean, she looks like she got beat up at this point, which is never any fun. And I mean, the whole thing I just felt so bad about, but she's fine. Thank you for asking.

Um, the, uh, interesting thing here is the topic says the kids only get hurt at my house. That's true. But Andrew was with him. So he wasn't with him at the time it happened?

No, I had gone over to my sister's to see my niece with the kids, and that's when it happened.

Oh, so is that your family?

But I'm thinking about it, going, when Smith tripped and fell on the sidewalk and busted his teeth, he has hillbilly teeth because he has half of his front teeth, he was with me.

That was with you.

When Lucy fell off a horse and broke her arm, She was with my mom, but technically it was on my time. So it's your family. Your family, okay. So then a dog jumps up and claws Lucy's eye, and it's on my time.

And it's over there. Wow.

I'm losing this thing, this game known as parenting. Your Honor. As shared parenting. I have three strikes against me at this point.

You know what this reminds me of? Every time that Chelsea would leave for vacation, our longtime listeners will remember this, every time Chelsea would leave to go visit her family or when her grandfather was sick I would end up in an emergency room that weekend and it was only when she was out of town so I was the I was the the parent that always end up you know had the injury issues yeah you're in your case

yeah and it's not necessarily

you it's your family too right it's just

on my yeah my time like we do we do Andrew and I do week on week off so Sunday to Sunday is how we do

our our time so in that seven days it never fails no no no no i you know what i think it is and um i think you were actually uh i'm gonna just throw this out there the better parent because the kids are clearly doing more adventurous stuff and having more fun in there with you yep so if if andrew would just head it off and put the kids in those if he would just turn off the tv Maybe they would get injured

I'm sticking up with my man My man has taken his kids snowboarding He's taken them tubing up north

At the family's place For the record, Mojo has always liked Andrew more than me

And returned them all in one piece

The guy He maybe still watches over them a little bit more Maybe that's the case

That is not true, I just have severe bad luck as a mom

You're lucky by the way That you're not in a Contentious divorce situation Because could you imagine you would be in court all the time Probably with the amount of times that this happens

I know he's the best

What was your reaction when you saw Lucy and the dog When that happened

Honestly my stomach And my poor sister felt bad too

No but when you actually saw it happen

Shut up

Oh you weren't there They were in the other room

They were playing in the other room Your honor

You're a dick Out of order I'm sorry that's out of order You're not allowed to say stuff like that in my court. I'm going to become a divorce judge here.

But in my head after it happened, and, you know, my sister, who is also in the medical, who is in the medical profession, and I are trying to, like, clean up Lucy's face. And I had to stop at Andrew's that night anyway on my way home because Smith forgot his blankies there. Like, also a thing that divorced parents know. Like, stuff gets left everywhere. So I had to text him and give him a heads up. And in my head I'm thinking, F, F, F, this is so bad. And so I was like, so there's been an accident. I was so scared to text him.

Can I tell you something? This is where you know who the parent is that is the dangerous parent. Who do they cry for when they hurt themselves? Because my kids always cried for Chelsea. So they'd be like, I want mom. And that's when I realized it's because they want mom because mom doesn't injure them when they're around mom. Do they cry for you or do they cry for Andrew? In Lucy's case, it's both, and the reason I say that is I FaceTimed Andrew when they were at DMC Children's yesterday, and she was like, I just wish you were here. I want you both here, which also made me feel really bad. That's sweet.

Yeah, that's nice. Well, you know what? She's good. She's okay. She's fine. Right? Let's look at the positives.

She actually came home from school yesterday because we did make her go to school after she got all patched up. And she was like, Mom, because I kept saying, Luz, are you OK? Like, what can I do? We have to give her antibiotics, all this stuff. She was like, I did kind of love all the extra attention I got. I was like, at least you're honest. At least you're honest.

By the way, your sister, her aunt that has this, she's got to be sending a bunch of gifts and stuff over there all the time.

Oh, she sent cookies to the house yesterday. I was trying to take a nap on the couch with Smith and we have a movie on and I hear it was pounding at the door and it was cookies being delivered which I thought was really nice

I'd let her dog bite my face off for some cookies

the dog did not bite, I need to make that very clear when it scratched I worry all the time with our dogs

because we have you have the same dog that Chelsea and I have the same types of dogs and they're little dogs and they mean well but they're little a-holes And you've got to be really, really careful with them. Sometimes the dogs – there's something with Louie where if you pat a certain part of his back – Does he nip? No, he'll go, rawr! Yeah, like he'll pretend nip. And that will be his way of telling you, don't touch me. I don't want to be touched in that way. Chelsea does the same thing too to me. It's kind of like – but you always worry about that whenever you've got kids around because kids automatically want to play with the dog and stuff like that. And you don't realize that the dogs have feelings, too. Does your dog, by the way, do this, Megan? Your dog doesn't leave the house.

My dog would never get off of the couch unless somebody came down to her throne to give her attention. No, but I will say it's a nice thing about having little dogs. And sometimes I wonder how people have, like, even labs to me are massive dogs. Because whenever I'm not certain of something, I just pick my dog up and I hold her. Like, if I'm not sure how she's going to act.

So funny, they seem to be the gentlest and most tolerant of little humans.

Yeah, but I'm just saying, what do people do? I couldn't lift up a 100-pound dog. It's nice when I'm not sure what the situation is going to be to just pick her up.

I actually trained my dog to only bite Shannon's kids.

How am I supposed to live life and love in these conditions? This is Mojo in the Morning. All right, it is the Mojo in the Morning show. You know how sometimes you just kind of like can't pull things together and you kind of have like one of those things, well, that's Megan's life. And sometimes you just can't pull things together. And Megan had a moment like that last night when, Megan, you woke up. By the way, were you drinking?

No, stone cold sober.

Stone cold sober.

Stone cold.

Sober.

My BAC was 0.0. And I woke up on my own couch with my legs over the armrest because I was still in my jeans and shoes and didn't want my shoes on the couch. It was impressive. I'm really proud of you. It was until I had to stand up and realize my knees and my back were never going to be the same again.

Did your legs fall asleep?

Well, I don't even think that's what woke me up, but I did wake up because, like an old lady now, I don't know what's happened. I haven't had children, but my bladder is not functioning the way that it used to anymore. And I wake up in the middle of the night to pee, and I got up, and when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee, I don't go, oh, wow, I should go to the bathroom. It's, you better run so you don't pee your pants. Go, go, go, go. Don't think about it, go. And I don't, in case you're running, my house is very small and very old I do not have a bathroom on my first floor so I had to run up the stairs and my knees and back were like with with this body you think that it's acceptable to run up the stairs in the middle of the night after you've been sleeping with your legs draped over the side of a couch that's funny good for you and I just I don't know if it's a I think I was just really really tired yeah like who falls asleep with jeans and their shoes still on and the lights But also, was it just a point of pure laziness that I've now peeked at of, you couldn't take your shoes off, you lazy bitch?

You must have been really tired. You must have been really tired. Maybe you thought you'd lay there for a second just to relax. What time do you think you fell asleep at?

Oh, 6.30? 6 o'clock? Wow, 6.30. But the fact that you kept your dirty shoes off. Off the couch! I mean

I even have a foot rest

I had a roommate in college Who was a volunteer firefighter And he always slept with his shoes on He's like I might have to run out the door The minute the siren goes off

Oh I don't know how you do it

It was so gross to me One because Your feet need to breathe Yeah I mean think of all the bacteria Like you're You're gonna get a fungal infection If you never just air out your toes But also Like Shannon just said All the You're putting dirty shoes In your bed that you sleep in And you step in dog poop And dirt and everything

They say you shouldn't wear socks sleeping that they say for circulation problems that you sleep without socks. Yeah. But OK, so I so I wanted to ask this question. Get two of them. One, because the sleep with your shoes on. Who sleeps with their shoes on? Anybody else sleep with shoes on?

Weirdos.

And then the second question was, I woke up with blank. I want you to call us up and tell us what you woke up with. It could be anything at all. I mean, it could be something as crazy as you woke up with another person or you could be something as crazy as, you know, you woke up with your shoes on. 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548.

One time I woke up with nothing. Nothing on and did not know where my clothes were. You stripped? I stripped down, but my clothing was not in my hamper, nor was it on my bedroom floor. And I woke up in bed by myself.

You were abducted by aliens. What were you doing? Are you sure?

No, I swear, my sister Emily was staying with me. This was years ago. And she woke up the same Completely butt naked

Oh I saw this movie

And our clothes were On the front porch Oh my god what I swear to you she can corroborate Corroborate this story We had no idea Where our clothes were They were on the front porch

I didn't do edibles Wait and you say you don't

There was alcohol involved

Oh okay so that's what it was

To this day, many years later, cannot figure out what happened that we would have taken off our clothes on the front porch of my townhouse and then went to bed separately, butt naked.

That's kind of wild. Yeah, I want to know more. Figure out what that's worth. Hold on a second. Let's see here. Crystal. Crystal. Yes, Katie. Why would I call you Crystal when your name is Katie? Hi, Katie. Katie, what did you wake up with?

So I woke up. My pants were undone. My pants were soaking wet. I had peed the pants from I was so drunk the night before. And I woke up like deer in the headlights because I remembered I left my friend in Royal Oak the night before. Oh, my gosh.

Jeez. How did you get home? I'm afraid to ask.

I don't even know. I think my brother picked me up. I think that was also supposed to be my friend's ride, but I definitely left without him.

Oh, my gosh. And you peed yourself too That's a big one Now Crystal

Hey good morning We're doing great except it's weird

I woke up with Megan's shoes on

Oh that is quite odd I woke up with gum in my mouth before Oh that's scary That is weird I woke up and I thought What the hell how did gum end up in my mouth I don't remember

It wasn't like you just fell asleep and you were chewing gum while you were falling? You don't even know how you got gum.

No, not at all. I just woke up chewing on it, and I'm like, what the hell? I sure did not go to bed with gum in my mouth.

That's crazy. Jenna, hi. What did you wake up with?

So back in college, every night that me and my roommates would go out, I was notorious for waking up with a half-eaten burrito on my bedside pillow. because I never finished it.

Okay, the big question I have to ask. Did you take another bite when you woke up?

I would. I would put the aluminum foil back on. Yes. You have to. You cannot let that go to waste.

Good for you admitting that. Thank you for that. Yeah, no problem. We have a couple of people that are shoe sleepers. That's interesting that there are people that sleep with shoes texting in this morning saying that they'd sleep with their shoes on because it keeps their feet warm. And then other people, too, that say that they sleep with their outfit from that morning that they're going to wear to work on.

Well, you didn't know me in high school. I wore a uniform to school, and I definitely slept in that thing a lot.

Oh, my gosh. Jocelyn, you had a friend that also would sleep with their shoes on?

So I know quite a bit of people, actually, who live in the hood part of Muskegon and multiple families and other people, and they all sleep with their shoes on out there. And I asked them one time why. and they wear their shoes in the house. They just never take their shoes off. And they said that it was because they have to be prepared to run at any time. Oh, my God.

Is that bad? No, that's terrible. That's wild. Just in case somebody breaks in.

Well, I mean, Muskegon Heights isn't always the safest place. So to an extent, it's understandable, but I still think it's pretty crazy.

That's crazy. How about this one? How about Josh? Josh woke up with a part of his body broken. What did you break in the middle of the night, Josh?

Mojo, you big, beautiful bastard. Good morning. Good morning. What's going on? Good morning. good morning i woke i was working on a cruise ship i was performing on a cruise ship and one more one night i had obviously gone down to the crew bar i didn't think i actually had that much drink i woke up and i had a broken finger i had blood all over my nose and i didn't understand what happened with a girl that i was roommates with at the time said you don't remember i said no i don't remember at some point i got up through the milk i was on the top bunk of a very very small cabin crew cabin got up through the milk control across the room i went to step out of my top bunk, I'm guessing, thinking that was the bottom, fell out, landed on the floor, broke my finger, got up, peed in my locker, went back to bed, and remembered nothing. Wow.

Jeez. God. There were some crazy times on that cruise ship, I bet. Angela, this is a wild one. Listen to this one. Angela, what did you wake up with?

A tattoo on my forehead. No way. A real tattoo? No, it was a fake one. Oh, thank God.

God, it would have been great if it was real. But you don't know how it got there.

Well, I had gone, I had just gotten in from vacation, and we had a fundraiser for one of my friends that was sick at the time. And we went out drinking, and I was tired, jet lag, and I ended up passing out at the party, and everybody still was continuing to hang out, and I guess I was sleeping on the couch. And when I woke up, I had a tattoo on my forehead And it was like the sparkly one And I actually had my mom's birthday dinner the next day

Were you freaking?

I was, I was trying to get it off my head It was in my hair And me and my friends joked to this day that I got hangovered Like in the movie But yeah, it was pretty funny

You know, those temporary tattoos sometimes don't always come off Did you have some remnants of that at mom's party?

My head was pretty red, and it was like that thick, sparkly one, so it wasn't like the thin one. It was that thick, thick one.

Yeah, yeah.

My sister and brother-in-law were laughing at me. It was quite a fun time.

Thanks for the call, Angela. Take care of yourself.

Yep.

Here are some of the more interesting ones that we've had here. I woke up with milk duds all over my boobs.

Oh, yes, please.

a treat. I woke up with herpes. Well, all right, figure that thing out. And then a bunch of people who say that they sleep in their jeans. It says one here, my boyfriend refuses to sleep in anything other than his jeans. That's how he goes to bed at night. By choice?

Yeah. Pajamas exist.

Yeah. Right. Maybe there's comfort, I guess, in those jeans or just the lack of time in the morning. You want to get that extra 20 minutes asleep if laziness were a sport we'd lose all the games on purpose so we wouldn't have to go to the postseason this is mojo in the morning this is wild last week remember i asked the question or told you the survey about how men would rank themselves only a 5.9 on a scale of 10

as far as good looks are concerned and then you asked us to rank ourselves which was very uncomfortable and self-examination that i'm not at a level of liking to do very often well then

this story comes out of this survey comes out men look at their reflection for five seconds longer than women really figure this out now it's only a group of 68 adults that were recruited by this expert for this thing but and what city that's what i needed 29 of men in the study spent 80 seconds on average looking at their own faces, mirror exposure therapy is a treatment used for people with eating disorders or negative body image. And that's why they were doing this and asking that question. But it was interesting to find that men will sit there and stare at themselves longer. I brought this up to my wife, Chelsea, who went on to tell me that it takes me longer to get ready when we're going out somewhere. And I look at myself in the mirror for longer. And I told her I have more body. So that's the thing. So I've got to make sure that I look over this thing. Would you guys say, would you say that, guys, that you stare at yourself in the mirror a little bit? I'd like a...

vampire i like to cover the mirrors and not ever see myself no i do look at myself in the mornings i want to do a booger check and make sure the hair looks right and do i need to shave did i miss any nose hairs but then once the morning and once i walk out the door i'm not someone who likes to see my own even in pictures i don't like myself so i don't know if that applies to me i don't know maybe that's just you know in the the people that have that particular eating disorder they were discussing. They were just examining

her now. Women are still suffering for fashion. Researchers found that women are up to eight times more likely than men to wear uncomfortable shoes. They are also significantly more willing to wear clothes that leaves welts on their skin, making them lose focus or even have trouble trying to breathe while they're wearing them. Don't know how you women

do that i don't know i like if i wear buy a new pair of shoes and after two weeks wearing them break them in and they're still uncomfortable they're out the door i don't wear them anymore no matter how much i like them you girls will wear everything every day that's uncomfortable

just because you like the way it looks yep this is wild women are also more significantly likely to wear an item that distracts them uh requiring you know their attention to actually be brought to focus because they're so focused on the fact that the item that they're wearing causes so much pain for them that's wild that uh that you know you'll put yourself through that much of uh of a pain to try to uh to look good well the distraction thing is really interesting too because megan i

don't know if you do this if you have like certain articles of clothing that do require attention and what i mean by that is like for example i have a sweatshirt that has one shoulder exposed right and so i don't like to wear strapless bras so i'll wear a normal bra with that sweatshirt but i just put down the strap of course so i i have to constantly be checking throughout the day if i'm wearing that sweatshirt that you can't see that my strap is just hanging on my arm it's so stupid and it's the biggest pain in the butt but i really like the sweatshirt so i continue to do that why don't you just not put the strap over your arm at all i could have

done that too yeah i just thought about that and finally more than half of americans struggle cooking easy to make dishes like pancakes and pasta. I can't cook to save my life. A recent survey found the hardest easy meals to make and found that the hardest easy meal to make that people screw up all the time? Pancakes.

The first batch is never good. If you can get your first batch to be good, please tell me what you do.

Eggs. By the way, I've been cooking a lot more now in divorce world that my girls will come over and i'll make meals and i i always screw it up and the simpler the meal is like like raviolis just boiling pasta the easy the more likely it is i'm going to screw it up my girls are so gracious because they'll still eat it and act like it's good and i know i could see the faces and i know they're not enjoying

reason i just talked about this yesterday we both made frozen pizza over the weekend

and burned a frozen pizza.

Burned it black like a brick.

And there's only three instructions on the box, right?

Eggs, pasta, mac and cheese, soup, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, rice. People can't do rice. Grilled chicken and fish round out the top ten of what's considered. Fish is hard to make. Why would fish be on the easy to make thing? I never know how to make fish.

See, if I make fish, I just throw it in the oven. Do you think that that would be easy?

Yeah, it's just how to prepare it and put stuff on there.

Part of the problem is also you think, this is too simple. I need to dress it up a little bit. I can't just get mac and cheese out of the box. I'm going to make some fancy breadcrumb topping or something. Oh, really? And then I just go blow it.

Yeah, I just go straight for the fake cheese, the powdered cheese, because it always ends up going over better than anything else.

There's an anxiety of my daughter coming over to dinner And then knowing at some point Their mother's going to ask What did you have for dinner? And I don't want to feel like a failure Like I only heated pizza out of a box So I try to make something new and bigger And then I just give them a ministry

As a divorced dad It's kind of like dating, I guess, right? Well, it's just

I want to put my best fatherhood steps forward And I want to be able to provide And I was never the cook And I still am not, obviously

You also think you're smarter than the idiots who fall for scams. Until it happens to you. Another world-famous phone scam happens at 9.50 on Mojo in the Morning. Now for a phone scam on Mojo in the Morning. Spike actually recorded this phone scam two months ago. Do you want to explain why you recorded this two months ago?

Yeah, we had to hold on to it, and we couldn't play it on the air until this morning. because it was about a gender reveal party. So we had to wait until after the party so we wouldn't spoil the surprise for anybody at the gender reveal.

Yeah, wouldn't that be a bust if all of a sudden we'd do that? So we're actually going to be phone scamming who is this, Abby?

Abby, mm-hmm.

All right, and what's the story with Abby?

She was put in charge of getting the cake for the party by her best friend. Like, the couple asked her to get it, and they asked her to use the couple's great uncle, who's a baker. But listen to the confusion as Abby meets the great uncle, because that's me. We will, we will scam you. Sorry, it's a catchy song. It's your home of phone scams. Mojo in the morning. Hello? Hello there. I'm going to call on the speaker to Abigail Ch**, please.

Hi, this is Abby.

My name is Grogu Jedha, Master Baker. The email said you needed a cake for a baby.

Yes. Well, the cake's not for a baby. It's for a gender reveal party.

Okay, I love a party. How old is a baby?

Oh, well, the baby's not born yet. So it's really for the pregnant mom and the dad. It's a gender reveal. Have you heard of those?

No, I never did that one. But whatever you need, I make it for you. Talk me through what you want the cake to look like.

Oh, okay. So the cake's for a party. So at the end of the party, we find out the gender of the baby by cutting into it.

You're cutting the baby?

No. No, we cut into the cake. It's pink on the inside. So they find out that they're having a girl.

And then on top, it says, congratulations on your beautiful baby girl.

So on the top, it'll say nothing because we don't want to spoil the surprise.

So a pink a cake, and it says on the top, congratulations, you're having a nothing.

No. So have you done a gender reveal cake before? Or it's kind of like a trend where you cut into the cake and it's either pink or blue. So then you know it's a boy or a girl.

So it should be a pink and blue inside.

No, it should be pink on the inside because it's a girl and then with nothing written on top.

No frosting.

No, it should have frosting.

So a pink of cake with a pink of frosting and nothing written on top.

no um we want white frosting so that you can't see the color of the cake on the inside

but just white frosting but how about the blue you just mentioned i can do a pinker cake with a blue frosting and then you'd be surprised when they cut into it because it's not a blue it's a

pink i think if we did that it might be kind of confusing for them so i just prefer if we just

did white frosting i get it i apologize you must think i hit in my head or something you want a

cake that's a shape like an actual baby no no just a normal round cake with pink on the inside and white on the outside on top of you want just nothing just plain and what colors do you want

the letters what letters you said you wanted me to write nothing on the top of the cake um how about a cupcake so we make a three dozen of pink and a three dozen of blue

I'm sorry. Maybe I'll have Josh call you. Maybe he can explain it better.

Oh, my little Joshy. I knew him when he was just a baby, and now he's having a baby. I'm so happy. You need Grogu Jeddah, master baker, and I have to give you suggestions because I've been baking a party for 32 years. How about I make it for you, a cheesecake? That's my specialty. People like the cheesecake.

Yeah, cheesecake's good, But I'll have to talk to Josh and Peyton and maybe they'll pick a different dessert and we can get the gender reveal cake from somewhere else.

I understand what you want. Okay, let me see. A plain of white cake, when you cut into it, the cake is pink so everyone can say, oh my gosh, are they expecting a baby girl?

That's exactly, exactly what we want.

And on top of the cake? No, no, no. We write in the big blue letters.

No.

We write, you just have been a victim of a mojo in the morning phone scam, Abby. This is Spike, and you're on the radio right now.

Oh, my God.

Who am I talking to?

Josh and Peyton set you up.

I'm going to kill them.

You were so sweet, though. You were trying to explain it over and over again.

I was like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, but he's not getting it.

Oh, my God. That's awesome. Abby, we're going to actually send you a copy of this phone scam so you can play it at the gender reveal party for everyone.

Oh, my God. That's great. Oh, my God. We will, we will scam you.

Your home of the world-famous phone scams. Mojo in the morning. 20-plus years of idiocy and still going in Detroit, Toledo, and West Michigan.

It's Mojo in the morning.

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