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than five miles away oh i want to bring this up so i went to the mall and yes i valeted when i went to the mall i know people get you fancy people get crazy whenever you tell them that you use the mall valet they're like you can't go get your own parking spot well i was your mall has a valet yes yeah yeah why they don't have the valet no shockingly enough no they do but it's

call the bus stop they got the valet your mall yesterday they don't have valet 12 oaks has a valet oh they don't where yes where oh over outside the seat the new fancy side no that's

the cheesecake factory where the cheesecake factory is so i valeted at the mall just to do a quick in and out i had to return something and then i needed to go get uh get luke something and so i said you know i couldn't find a parking spot the malls are actually very crowded i don't know if you've been to the mall lately but so when I came out after the valet was done or after I was done I'm sorry I go towards the valet and it was mass chaos there were tons of people there that are waiting for their cars and they're getting very irate with each other so one of the valet guys kind of comes over towards me and uh and he looks because he saw that I had my ticket in my hand and um and I said wow this is crazy he goes yeah yeah yeah we're gonna get you know we're you know, working hard and I go, Hey, hold on a second. I reach into my pocket. I grab a $10 bill and I hand it to him and I said, Hey, thanks so much for, you know, getting in my car. And he goes, it will be right up. He like looked at me, grabbed my, grabbed the money. It will be right up. He then went on break. I saw him walking away with my, my $10. He's like probably thought to himself good now i can go to the food court and go get myself some uh some lunch and i waited then for more than 30 minutes for my for my uh uh tahoe to get pulled up then you get a tip again right well that's the thing i never paid the actual valet because i gave that guy the ten dollars and i was intending on probably you know paying a little bit more like i was intending out okay Hey, maybe I'll give another five bucks or whatever it is when they pulled the car up. But I, cause I figured if, you know, to not have to sit there and wait through the craziness that was going on. So I'm waiting for 30 minutes. I see him coming back with some food from break, from his break, he broke and came back from his break at the time that, uh, that, you know, my car was being pulled up and I sat there and I thought to myself with my toe tapping, you ever do that? You know, that's your thinking thing. with your tote. I'm thinking, could I ask him for my, for my tip back? I know. It did not accomplish what I thought it was going to accomplish. And I, and I thought to myself, I'm like going, you know what? That just serves me right. Serves me right for trying to sneak ahead of all these other poor people that are trying to get themselves their cars from the valet while I'm trying to sneak ahead thinking that my $10 was going to make me more important than everybody else that was here i mean at that rate you could have parked across

the street and just walked and die in your car faster i know you're what you're saying

you valet don't you sometimes when you go to the mall you do i never i never have actually but

no i never have you never

I swear to God on a stack of bottles.

I forgot mine even had a valet.

I never have, but Andrew has. And so we always used to, when we were married, we would valet a lot.

Okay.

Yeah.

Tell Mark my computer's not working, okay? Will you ask him to come in and fix it?

I like parking far a lot of times and walking. I'm that weird person. The engineering version of valet.

That's the engineering. Oh, you're talking about that. Tell Mark I got a $10. He's got a $10. Come on. I'm the guy. Listen, I am the guy that will not park to the end of – even if the parking spot at the very, very end is open, wide open, I will circle the lot 10 to 15 times to find one of the top five parking spots that are inside of the store.

And she will only do it in a certain row outside of the Macy's at Southland Mall. She is such a creature of habit, she will not park in front of any other store or in any other area. She has her spot, and she will circle that Macy's parking lot until something opens up. Wait for it to come.

And you know the thing that's driven me crazy with this whole thing about curbside pickups? They've taken all the good parking spots. So all that stuff, it's all curbside pickups for everywhere. Target. Target took like 10 times the amount of good parking spots now so that you could do the drive-up, which I've done the drive-up thing, and I love it. But you don't have to take all my good parking spots. Matter of fact, they should put it further in the back and make the employees walk out.

What? Yeah. Look how fired up he is.

I'm very fired up.

You want $10?

I want $10.

Make your day better.

Listen, I'm going to tell you something that I am one of those people that I, I don't know, I get fired up and want to know exactly what the heck is going on. Mark, our engineer, just walked in to fix our computer. Mark, do you ever valet? No, never. You never valet? No. That big old pickup truck of yours, you don't ever valet that thing? Never once. What's the story? Why is that? I'm old school, I guess. Really? You like parking yourself? Isn't that kind of boring to park yourself? I drive a car with a stick. You drive a car with a stick? Nobody drives a car with a stick. What do they call those, manual cars? Yeah, manual transmission. It's a beautiful thing. Nobody valets at the mall, I think is what you meant to say.

Nobody carries cash to tip the valet at the mall. That's a big thing. I never have cash on me.

Is valeting, like, really a bougie thing to do? Yes. Come on.

They have literally 12,000 parking spaces surrounding that place.

But still, though, it's the convenience.

Were you at 12 Oaks or were you at Somerset?

I was at Somerset at this one. Okay.

This is what I've learned there, though.

Somerset is our very nice mall. It's a very, very fancy mall.

They will move your car to the other side. There are two sides to the mall that goes over a busy street.

So if I park at one side, they'll move the car to the other side?

You can call them and say, can I get my car? And they'll bring it to the other side.

Wow. Will it take less than 30 minutes? I could have gone. That's what I should have done. I should have went over to the other side because it was probably less crowded over on the other side. And they would have brought my car to me. I didn't realize that there wasn't a valet spot at most malls. I thought most malls had valet spots because our 12 Oaks down the street from us here, which is the kind of middle. Actually, it's a nice mall. I wouldn't say it's middle of the road, but it's maybe one step below the fanciness of the Somerset. But yeah, they've got valet there.

You know what I love, though? I do have a girlfriend, my friend Deanna. You guys all know Deanna. She used to work for the show. And if there is a valet anywhere, if we're at a road, anywhere we go, she will valet. Even to the, I went out to dinner with her one time. She valeted our car and there was literally a parking space 20 feet away. It would take less time for us to park right there and just walk into the front door.

I won't do it. I can't, I can't stand waiting. If I have to stand there and wait for my car when I can see it, it's like, forget it.

Chelsea actually gives me crap all the time Because I get angry when I walk out Of certain restaurants And I valet my car And I see all those fancy cars That sometimes they'll park right up towards the front Like on the curb and stuff They'll be really, really nice cars Like, I don't know Mercedes and BMWs and stuff And I gotta wait there for my Tahoes I'm like, oh Now you sit there I'm not fancy enough for these guys

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