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it in one place you need the intuit erp intuit enterprise suite all your data in one place with built-in ai for real-time insights learn more at intuit.com slash erp um all right mojo on the

morning show uh so megan has a friend who is dating what she what do you call this friend's

uh person that she's dating i'm gonna try to sound like the drop uh douchebag

that was a good attempt wow that really after the conversation we just had

Do you want to see how it was you want to see if it was it even close all right hold on a second here let me get the douchebag drop because I've kind of kind of gotten stale with my dude douchebag no that's not that one no no there's a lot of douchebags out there No. Hold on, no. Hold on a second. Which one is the douchebag? Douchebag! It's that one, right?

Go ahead. I did better than you did. There you go. Yeah, I did better than you did.

He feels like a... Douchebag!

Yeah, all right, go ahead.

So you know how the big trend right now when it comes to bachelorette parties is like taking a trip somewhere and then going on theme for most of the nights, whether that's dressing as the same outfit with a group or whatever it is. So my girlfriend is going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. So they're planning this trip and she's buying some outfits. Now, I need to preface this with saying I am not his biggest fan. Obviously, I introduced him as the douchebag, but I really do try not to. I don't get involved. I don't say my thoughts. It's clear that we're not like super close, but I'm not like you should leave this guy. Like I've always just been like you, you do you. You got to learn from your own experiences. Like I can't tell you what to do. No matter what I say, it's not going to change it anyways. But I do feel like he crossed the line when it came to this bachelorette party trip. So she's buying her outfit. She's planning it. And one of them is super cute, but a little bit more risque because you know what? Girls trip. Do you. And he saw the outfit. And here's where I got really upset. It wasn't that he said, I don't want you to wear it. I don't think you should wear it. His words are, you're not allowed to wear that. Thank you. That was my immediate reaction. And I have a really hard time because I am a huge proponent of I'm watering my own grass. I'm minding my own business. I'm just out here to grow on my own. But also I feel like I need to defend my girlfriends, but I don't want to get involved in their really, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing because he really pissed me off by saying this. This is like, for me, crossing a huge red flag, like line in the sand, not okay behavior. Did she have any reaction to it?

she's or was she just used to him saying stuff like that to her she should she said i don't

think it's fair i think that they don't really have problems in their relationship i just don't like him but he's not like a bad guy he's just a douchebag um but this was the first time when i think he crossed a line that she didn't know how to handle it yeah right and for me i'm like leave him leave his ass pack up bye but she's more like well we don't really have issues i just don't like

Is this a common thing, though, that happens? That's the thing. Is it like a one-time thing? Maybe there's something. Because if somebody says something one time and that's it, then you've got to kind of almost do a little investigating.

Or now that they're one step closer to getting married, is he just feeling more comfortable showing his true colors and being somewhat controlling is what it sounds like.

to me that would make me very uneasy as a friend right but it's i'm also like a it's not well it's weird it's not like he cheated or he did something like he stole from you like it is just a comment but for me it's a that comment was too much that was enough to break up over but but just plain

devil's advocate on this one because i would never tell chelsea what to wear because to be honest with me and with you if you see what i wear i should not give me giving fashion advice um but just through playing devil's advocate maybe um maybe they have that kind of a thing with each

other to be able to know but if chelsea if chelsea were going out and she was wearing something that was you know showed a lot of skin or whatever that you would say to her you would say it in

a different way i will be naked in our bed waiting for you to come home so bad example to use you

But most people would say, you know, I don't know. This doesn't make me feel comfortable. I think there is a different way of saying it than you are not allowed to. Okay, dad.

Yeah. Do you think that there, have you ever been in a relationship with somebody that, with a guy that has ever been uncomfortable with something that you worn when he wasn't there?

Well, look at what I wear. No.

Okay.

Also a bad example.

No, but I, no. Right. To be fair, I'm not, I think you dress impeccably well, but I think sometimes when we do big events and you have like more like gowny outfits that are I like a good deep V you love a deep V and it looks great on you but some dudes would have a problem with that

yeah you're right I've never been told yeah I've never been told I don't think not to wear something and if I if I was

I mean wasn't she wearing the deep V though when she was single and she was out there no jingle ball you look great at jingle ball oh a jingle ball she had the deep V on

I was taped into that

844 mojo live 844-665-6548. Question, is this a red flag? Second question, anybody have, anybody they've ever been in a relationship with or are currently in a relationship with that have ever not been comfortable with what they have been wearing?

So I would never do this. I'd never, but to play devil's advocate, if the roles were reversed and she was telling him to stop dressing like Adam Sandler, Stop wearing sweatpants and all this stuff. You've got to dress nicer. This would be completely different.

Right, but there's such a difference between a suggestion and laying down the law.

Yeah. Okay, but what if it was laying down the law? What if she was like, you can't wear that anymore. You can't come in public with me because you dress like—

Are you still butthurt that Allie took away one of your sweatshirts and holy underwear?

You know, I really—it was a Michigan one, and I really liked it.

You know what, though? agree with shannon on this one just because it's basically showing uh a control factor mike where i think that if she's telling you or you know there's if there's somebody in a relationship with a guy that looks like he never showers all the time it's her just going okay come on it's time for you to you know class it up maybe just a little bit i don't know if it necessarily is a great it's a it's a good try on an analogy well see i'm trying to be positive atley was right

Allie was right, I'll say it, fine

She was right, yes, exactly You dress great, too When you're around us Carter, what's going on?

Hey, nothing much, how are you guys?

Good, red flag?

No, I do not think it's a red flag at all

Really? What do you think it is?

I think it's just boundaries And expectations

Wow What do you think about that, Shannon, Megan? He says that it's boundaries

that he's trying to set up i think that then a discussion needs to to happen because you i i just don't believe in telling somebody what they can and cannot wear when they're walking out of the house it it it you know there's obviously a level of respect there and that's what i go back to if he would have said to her you know i don't know i like i'm already nervous about this bachelorette party anyway and what you're wearing you look beautiful but it doesn't make me feel more comfortable i think that there's a way of bringing it up how would you how would you have

said it than uh carter um shannon or shannon i don't even know who that was to be honest um i i agree with her you should have said it differently but i mean i get where he's coming from if he doesn't want her wearing something really revealing especially like a lot of skin

or something like that it's just he has or boundaries you say boundaries i say controlling and I get that we just don't see eye to eye on this one and we're not going to agree and that's totally cool but for me when you say I'm setting up boundaries for you it's I'm treating you like a child and you have to live within my limits or this isn't going to work and that's where I don't agree that that's a healthy relationship to tell somebody you are not allowed to from grown adult to a grown adult Let me bring Amanda into this. Carter, you can stay with us, too, if you want. Amanda? Yeah.

Hello.

You had an ex that did exactly this?

Yes. So I was younger. I was 17. And I got into, it was my first relationship, my first serious relationship. And this was a huge problem. It was any time I wore something that I was comfortable in because I was, you know, figuring out my femininity. and my confidence it was you're not allowed to wear it you look like insert something that's not nice and it really affected my body image and just my overall outlook I'm 32 now and I still find myself sometimes questioning it and I think that comments like this really should be addressed up front because it's tied to a whole culture for me at least in my perspective of as a female you don't wear certain things in public for a certain reason and i think that that culture

yeah amanda says this carter you're listening in on that i mean come on you hear you hear her

point on that right yeah i 100 i mean i agree with it but it's just i mean i don't want to

what do you do it's my it's my body i can put on it when i want to yeah absolutely you can't but i

mean if you're going to be in a relationship with this person and you respect this person and his opinions on things i feel like you should take into consideration what you want and i am i am

all about boundaries but i i think again it goes back to the way that it was worded and somebody just texted really because of the way that he said it this is this is about more than just clothes yeah like it sounds like he's just starting to assert himself in a way that could be really

unhealthy moving forward and i would think the only way that you could get away with that in the case of um megan's friend or what happened when the man dies if the women are inappropriate with other guys or have done it where the guy's like hey why are you doing that you know you're you're going out and about and i'm not saying that that has happened obviously with either of the two of you guys it just sounds like both situations are just really controlling guys that are are honestly i i'd worry about them past the point of being verbally abusive you know i i don't know that it sounds scary amanda thank you for the call carter thank you for the call thank you guys have a good day leah what's up it's mojo in the morning

leah yes that's you hi are you leah oh i am yeah sorry i was on the radio too i didn't know if it picked up on me no what's going on so first of all i was not surprised that a guy called in saying that it's fine to tell a woman what to wear um i think it does not represent all guys by the way i know and i think and i was saying for the opposite i think all guys should take a page on my boyfriend's playbook he does the exact opposite to the point where he's even afraid to tell me what he if i'm wearing something that he likes he's even afraid to say he likes it because he's too afraid that he's going to be putting off the vibe of telling me what i shouldn't or even should wear oh wow it's like you do you whatever you're happy and that's what you should

be wearing oh you know what that's good and uh and you're okay with that right if he although Well, you'd probably want some compliments, wouldn't you?

I would love some compliments. Sometimes it's a little annoying. I'm like, come on, tell me I look hot. You look hot.

What's up, Ella?

Hey, guys. I just wanted to say that Megan's friend, you know, Megan, she wants to talk to this guy and have a conversation directly with him. And, you know, see how he responds to it. And if he's not respectful to it or if he does it again, she needs to reconsider this marriage. uh like this upcoming wedding um because guys need to stop not just guys everybody need to stop telling people what to wear you know and how to wear their hair or what clothes they're wearing stop shaming people it's you're right it happens with women doing it to women too yes and it's a horrible thing and like we start doing that to little girls and that's not okay that's not healthy and like this guy carter um mr g face i'm just gonna call him that he is trying to tell her what to wear and he's all worried about what he thinks that she should care what he thinks why doesn't he care about what she thinks and what she likes he met this girl that he's dating and i'm sure she probably had other clothes that she wore around him when he like first met her and suddenly he's trying to change her and that's the issue people try to change their partners and then later on

they're like oh you've changed you're not who you were like no duh you changed the person they were because you wanted to mold them to who you wanted them to be great great point yeah yeah so see the person if you can't deal with who they are now you should move forward and find somebody else so that way they can just be happy and you can be happy with somebody else who fits your mold

Thank you, Ella.

Anyway, love you guys. Love you back.

Natalie, I'm afraid to pick you up because I'm running so short on time, and I think people are going to blow up when they hear this, but what did you want to say?

Okay, I don't dress risque in general, but if I do have something on that's just maybe a bit much, my husband will say, hey, add a button, or can you throw a jacket on? And I have no problem with it, so it never gets to the point of him demanding me to do anything.

Because it's a suggestion. Yeah, there's a difference. there's such a huge difference in how you say it

yeah I guess if it's the guy if this was his initial thing he just demanded her to change okay yeah he's wrong but I'm just saying like you know being a married woman sometimes you know that's my husband and I respect him so I'll do you know whatever not whatever the official language

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