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It's Mojo in the Morning Show. Kevin said that there is now an age that Josiah, his son, is at that he thinks that Josiah should overrule the courts when it comes to where he wants to go, whether it be your house or his mom's house.

Yeah, so we have a great parenting relationship at this point of our lives with Josiah. It hasn't always been good, and we've gone through the court system before, and we're at a point now and have been at a point for a few years now where we don't operate through the court system with the amount of times and when we get to see Josiah. In the summertime, we see Josiah, we have a week off schedule. He spends a week at my house, then goes to his mom's for a week. During the school year, since I'm working in the morning show, I can't take him to school. So the schedule is a bit differently. And typically I'll pick Josiah up after school as much as I can, but I'll get him every weekend and then drop him back off like Sunday night. So he can be prepared and ready to go to school Monday morning. Summer's coming up. So we'll do the one week on one week off. But the only thing that we've maintained from the court's perspective is their established holiday parenting time schedule where every other year you get a child on a specific holiday and it's always been like this interesting awkward conversation between his mother jasmine and at least awkward from my end where i feel like everything's going well and then okay memorial day is coming up who has josiah this year and how does it interrupt whatever schedule and consistency that we've established and luckily i have him this year so i'll get him friday and then bring him back memorial day at 6 p.m but josiah is now about to be a teenager in a year and you know he's he's very vocal he has his own personality he has his own mind he has his own wants and needs and i don't want i've never been in a position where i've introduced okay well what do you want to do josiah but we're getting to that point now where he has a voice in the situation to say regardless of what the holiday parenting schedule is i want to spend 4th of july with my mom you know i don't know how to introduce that conversation or what

that's like what about it well i think you got to talk to not him i think you got to talk to her because i think you guys both got to agree that that's what you're going to do because otherwise it's not josiah's you know the courts would say and i think in general the people would say it's you guys that need to work that thing out with each other are you are you thinking you're

I'm bringing this up to him because you think you're going to win?

No, I don't think I'm going to win. I think it's an inevitable conversation. Like, as he starts to get older, go towards high school, I just feel like he's going to be with one parent more than the other. What if he doesn't choose you? I'm going to be sad, for sure. I'll be sad. I'll be devastated.

So I didn't know that Memorial Day is actually one of the days. So all the holidays are in this?

Memorial Day, Easter, Labor Day, Father's Day, Mother's Day, obviously Christmas, spring break.

You don't lose them on Father's Day. No. Jasmine doesn't lose him on Mother's Day, right? It's always mom on Mother's Day, dad on Father's Day.

But everything else it alternates.

Okay. Because I was going to say, that would be kind of silly if that was the case. What are your thoughts? Shannon, you're in a relationship.

I would not proactively bring it up to him, to be honest with you. I would wait for him to say something about it. Just because he might not even be thinking that that's the case right now. And it's just very normal for him to still do the every other, like how it has been. there have been instances in my situation ours is a little bit different we we don't go by front of the court or anything we kind of opted out of all of that and did our own schedule but there have been instances especially recently where it was technically my weekend to have the kids Easter is a great example it was my turn to have them for Easter this year but their dad was taking a vacation with his step kids and it would have been it was a situation where i was supposed to have the kids for easter but also they could have went on this like a really awesome trip so they said to me like oh they knew about this trip so they asked and it it is tough because then you know you you you lose them for the holiday you're supposed to have them and we were good about making it up elsewhere but um i've never i i have never and i will not until they bring it to me have a conversation of like you know you you you can decide for yourself so do you go next year

hey remember last year i was supposed to get them for easter like is that already in your mind so

no he doesn't know this yet but i'm gonna i want them for halloween this year okay i'm gonna be like you had easter technically it's his year to have him for halloween i think i'd have to go back and look it's so freaking confusing but I love Halloween so I'm gonna be like I want them for

Halloween let me ask you this question Shannon how was it when you were a kid when you got to an age where your parents were divorced was there ever times where you would be like I don't want to leave my mom's house or I don't want to leave my dad's house so my I was in kindergarten when

my parents got divorced and we spent a lot more time with my mom than we did my dad and it was just the way that their arrangement was and unfortunately and looking back now my dad got the crappy end of this of the stick because once we got into high school especially even middle school we had so many activities that were on gross deal my dad lived in ellen park and our friends were on gross deal so there were so many things that like it was my dad's weekend but i had like a play practice my boyfriend was there all these things so just naturally i spent i saw my mom way more i spent way more time at my mom's house uh julie what's up it's mojo in the morning

hi guys hi morning hey so i was calling because i because of moral day being the father's year this year i am going three weeks without seeing my daughter oh no the stuff going with this with uh when you go through the the courts this that's what happens so can you not ask him though can you

not ask their dad hey i don't want to not see the kids for three weeks can we rearrange some days here or do you not have that kind of co-parenting relationship we've done it in the past but it's

got to be something very important okay do you and does he is he in town are both you guys in town

i live in belleville he lives in gibraltar okay because i was going to say it sounded to me like

maybe one's out of town i don't get the i feel bad for these kids who's you know one parent is not even in state and they got to spend a whole summer in a totally different state which would suck you know takes you away from all your friends and stuff but yeah that three weeks is a tough time i i will say this to you and this is you know tough i but this is one of the reasons chelsea and i talk about this all the time like when we were going through some struggles when luke was younger it's like this was like the only thing that kept me hanging on was the idea that i

wasn't going to be there with him it's not ideal bro i'll tell you something when so when wes and i got married last year and we blended families and and we moved he moved himself and samantha and kieran from macomb to where i live and i live you know not close to macomb um it was wes was terrified because he's like they're at the age where they could technically say we would just rather hang out at mom's house because it's two minutes away from our school i mean it's definitely you know, a drive from where we live now.

And they were old enough to make the decision and they still are choosing to split their time 50-50, thankfully. Now, there are nights where it makes, you know, they don't get done with something at school till 830. And they're supposed to come to our house, but instead they stay at their mom's because they're waking up at 630 the next morning to go to school. That's a lot. But, yeah, it's tough.

Hey, Day, what's up?

Hey, yeah, I think it's awesome that that's something that you're thinking about. When I was a kid, I never really kind of thought about that. But as I did get older, because my parents live in two different states, I would just spend, like, the summers with, like, the whole summer with my dad and then go back with my mom. And then my dad would fly out for, like, special occasions.

Was it ever hard for you to be away from all those friends that you had in school?

No, I was a really social kid, so I could literally go anywhere and just, hey, you know, and just kind of make friends.

Where was dad and where was mom?

um so my mom she was active duty in the military so we moved around a lot and my dad he still lives

in Detroit Michigan so okay so so that I don't know how to ask this question so bear with me if it doesn't make sense but like what emotion was more powerful the excitement of going to spend the summer with the parent or the pain of leaving that parent and knowing you're not going to see him until next summer.

He hung up the phone, but he got so emotional.

I could not imagine that. I could not imagine that. And by the way, as a mom, I'd be like, well, I guess I'm going to spend the summer where they are.

Here, Josie's out with us. Josie's dad lived... Listen to this. Josie's dad lived in Chicago. Mom lived in Grand Rapids. And you had to rotate summers. Ask Josie that question. Josie.

Wow. Josie. Yeah. I forgot it. What emotion was stronger? Was it the excitement of going to see the parent for the summer?

To seeing your dad in Chicago.

Yeah, the pain of, like, leaving and knowing you're not going to see him again for another year.

So I think it was a little bit of both. I actually was able to go, like, once a week or once a month to see him as well because my whole family lived out in Chicago. But my point was that I actually have way, I have, like, a lot of closer friends in the Chicagoland area now than I even do in the Grand Rapids area. So spending those summers was really super awesome. I got to make a lot of fun. So that's kind of the upside of it.

Yeah. Wow. It's, you know what? I, I, at least those are closer places, right? At least it's a couple, three hours, you know, but cause it'd be worse if it was at Los Angeles.

I was just thinking about this, Kev. Another reason to not bring this up to Josiah now, cause he's 12. I feel like it puts so much stress on them. Yeah. And I've noticed this, especially with Lucy, where if, if for something she has to choose between mom and dad, even if it's something, you know, little, like whose project is she going to, which house is she going to bring like her art class project to, she gets really stressed out because she doesn't want to disappoint one or the other. And I think they feel that they absorb that stress so much. So if you're telling Josiah he's got to pick or he can pick, I think all of a sudden it's not, it's not set in stone. It's not a schedule that he just has to follow. it's on him and I get worried that he would feel like he would disappoint

one or the other. I just want to get to a place where he doesn't feel forced by a schedule to spend time either way. Like hey you're a part of this family where do you want to be at at any given time? Just know that it's okay to say hey I want to spend a couple extra days with mom or I want to spend a couple extra

days with dad. You don't ever parent differently because you want him to

like you do you? No but I think I love harder because I know I have an expiration date

okay because i have friends of mine who are divorced and they're like they throw things at their kids to hope that their kids would choose them so i always sit there i look at that i go god their kids know that they're so smart that's not helping them no not at all marcia you say that your 17 year old son will actually not want to go to his dad's so what does he do

so he's extremely active and boy scouts in band and it seems like lately his dad's came to a realization that he like Kev said he has an expiration date kind of he's almost 18 so he'll choose to go to Boy Scouts or his stuff with band instead of going to his dad's and he only goes to

his dad's every other weekend. Wow does that make you sad to know that their relationship is like

that? It does but a lot of it was kind of by how their relationship has always kind of been. Yeah

That's too bad. That's too bad. Daisy is a friend of the court who has some advice for you guys. What's going on, Daisy?

Hey, can you hear me?

I got you, Daisy.

Okay, good. This is my second time to ever be on the air with you guys. Welcome back. Welcome. The best thing, and I've been with the court system for like 28 years. seen it all heard it all amazed some days as to what goes down between families the best thing i can tell you to do is you and mom keep that relationship open have your child feel like he can come to either one of you about anything as well as each parent needs to know what's going on in his life even though he may be with mom you need to know what he's doing every day you need to stay involved because that way you have an idea of what's going on every day and you guys can share that information the child will feel comfortable come to either one of you so no matter

where josiah is make sure every day you know what he's got going on so that every day you're part of

his life that's right i like that a good parent a good parent will tell you that because then the child's going to know that you're that you're there and not there but the child will get that sense of love regardless yeah a lot of them need that especially with society today that's good

advice sound advice i love her accent no that's the greatest that would make me just be comforted if i was a kid i just want to have daisy as my friend of the court ever tell me that with a Pitcher Lemonade.

Sweet tea.

Country time lemonade. On the porch.

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