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This is the Mojo in the Morning Show, 104.5 SNX, 92.5 KISS FM, and of course the flagship, Channel 955. Megan, you have a story to tell, but I want to just solicit before you tell the story. How soon is too soon to move on in relationships? What's going on?

So I was talking to my girlfriend yesterday, and I know she's listening right now. I'm not going to say your name, but if you're listening and you want to talk about this, we will voice disguise you if you call in. But her and I were texting back and forth. And I thought I would just like read you the text message because she's having this issue with her friend. She said she's been super stressed out about this. Long story short, good friends of ours. The husband died this past July. Our sons are best friends and she's been more distant lately. But of course, the boys have been wanting to hang out. she keeps saying that she has plans during the weekend or is busy not really telling me what's going on well neither of her kids have phones so she went on the ipad check the messaging on there and her son told my friend's son um that his mom has a new boyfriend and told her son not to tell her because she wants to quote unquote tell me herself but if that's the case why are you avoiding her why haven't you gotten together in person for the kids to hang out and tell her um but i the whole thing just kind of seems weird but it's hasn't even been a year and she wants to call her out but doesn't know you know like if she should or i don't know less than a year yeah

so how did so the kid actually kids are smart aren't they uh-huh and they're not like i mean

they're little but they're not like five they're yeah older than that yeah they're aware yeah yeah

yeah they they figure it out they can hear everything how is it that they can hear through walls you know i don't know so wait so so it's been less than a year since she split with no

last july oh my god wow but is that don't you want them to be happy though nine months

i don't know so yeah i think you want them to be happy yeah but i mean we were just talking about grief yeah i feel like we're always talking about that but i feel like the passing of someone is a different way of grieving than if something happened in the relationship that forced you all to separate. And I don't know how he died, if it was sudden or if it was expected.

They're at my age, so I would assume it was sudden. Or if he was dealing with a cancer or an illness or something, and this has been the past two years of her life. Because that would figure into it. Because just off the bat, I'd be like, oh gosh, under a year, that seems really soon to me. But what do I know? I've never been in that situation. And Mojo, you and I know somebody, and we just mentioned her last week as well gina who i think after her husband's death yeah and her new husband's wife's death i think they got together and got married if i'm not mistaken pretty

quickly and said that they were the recipient of a lot of judgment but now fast forward you know how many years later they're very happily married still and so and i i will tell you when my mom

passed my dad was dating less than a year he was seeing somebody less than a year and it was so weird for us as young kids to to know that yeah or and my sisters were like not young they were like just just out of high school i actually look at it now and think man thank god my dad had

somebody so fast well that okay so mine isn't a death right it was just a pretty nasty divorce but watching my dad not move on and not like holding on to my mom but like just not wanting to date because we were teenagers and like wanting us to grow up and then experience it makes me sad now to think about it like why wouldn't you go out and find your person i have uh somebody that's in

our life that uh his wife tragically died in a really horrible accident and i still don't see him dating or doing anything and I think he's just focused on his kids and this is years later and I wonder how that does affect the kids because I feel like the kids I feel like the one thing that you as a child is you want to see your parent happy

Isn't that what Rick Moranis did?

The guy, the old actor?

Honey, I shrink the kids. His wife died and he left Hollywood and didn't date again. Oh really?

I don't know that. I don't even know that story. That's a blast from the past. I don't think

gene milder dated after what's her face gilda radnan yeah after she died either yeah i well

you know what's funny is i i volunteered for years at gilda's house and i remember them telling stories all the time about gene would come into town he always seemed so sad when he would come to gilda's house in royal oak uh carla uh what's up how you doing hi good morning how are you guys

good morning what's going on good morning so uh we had uh in my family my aunt had suddenly passed away and it was like tragic for all of us she was best friends of my parents and her husband as well and about four months I think it was after she passed my uncle came to tell us all that he had met someone and like they had been married for like 48 years I think it was um so like we were all like really kind of hurt but then I kind of flipped it the other way where I think he had depended on her and she had depended on him their whole entire lives and you go every day with this routine and you don't have that person anymore so i think for him it wasn't about finding love but just companionship i mean i'm sure that it's romantic and that's fine this woman she's lovely but she'll never replace who we had our whole entire lives and it's still hard being around this woman and it's nothing against her but it's just yeah it's grief is such a funny thing and it's just i think it's such a personal decision on how soon you get to move forward for sure and

where you are in your life thanks i i feel like everybody who has never experienced that especially when it comes to the death of a significant other thinks we all look at it going oh they're they've moved on they've moved on and i've heard so many people who have dealt with this say you don't ever move on but you need to live on yeah that's good you know so and i think your situation with your

these people that you know they're young and i think sometimes it's not so much even the companionship at that age it's the thought of i gotta raise these kids by myself i need i want

so i want yeah i don't want to dive like too deep into this but i'm very curious though and i don't want this to come off as judgmental but i think we also have the friend who jumps into something just because they're scared to be alone or maybe it's not the best situation or they don't want to raise the kids. It's not necessarily the right person, which I think happens. I think when we talk about the couple that we know that got married after both of their spouses pass, like it wasn't because of a need or whatever. Sometimes you just find that person and that's cool. But sometimes I think we see our friends rush into something and we're like, is this because we like that person Or is this like a quick response that might not be the best long term?

Let's hope that it just is dating right now and doesn't run into something, you know, like marriage or something.

She might be worried about getting judged for jumping into the super fast, which I totally understand. But my cousin's boyfriend was unfortunately murdered and she didn't date again for like seven years. And people judged her for not dating.

You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

I do think, though, because the kid found us out, I don't know if I was the friend if I would say anything, though. I would stay. I think I would let the kids be the ones to bring it up. What's up, Angela?

Hi. Good morning, everybody. Love you all. Good morning.

We love you, too. Hold on. I'm lacking with my we love you, too. There you go. Yeah.

Thank you, Vonda.

No, my dad, we lost my mom in 2017. My parents were well into their 60s.

60s or their 70s excuse me and six months I still remember the day I went over to my dad's house he asked me to come over he said I need you to take a picture for me I said what do you want a picture for he says because I'm gonna both do online dating I said dad you're like you're 75 years old what do you need to online date for mom's not even gone six months and it just killed me so much and he found a girlfriend right away um he's gone through like three different ladies um I don't like his current one um and it's really just the companionship i get that yeah but it's just it killed me it was six months my parents were married almost 40 years but here's the thing i will say

this to you he's 70 years old i don't you know what i mean like he's almost 80 he's almost 80 in december now and honestly at that age you sit there and go how much more life do i have left i want to live my life with somebody in my life what is that commitment realistically and by the way Can we get his number for Megan?

Megan, you could date.

Megan could be your stepmother. What do you think?

No, Megan, that's my inheritance.

What's going on? How you doing, Lisa? How are you?

Good. How are you?

Good. This is Lisa. Lisa, when did your husband pass away?

My husband was killed in June in a motorcycle accident. Oh, my goodness.

And what are your thoughts on this?

With my 12-year-old, with my grandson on the back of it. thankfully my grandson's okay um so you know the thing with my husband and I is we have had discussions about what we would want for each other if something happened to the other one um because he did have some medical problems and you know looking down the line if something were to happen what did we want for each other and one of the things that we both agreed on was that you know we don't want you to be alone we didn't want the other one to be alone we wanted them to feel you know be happy and move on and um in this situation you know there's a finality to that relationship it's it's almost not it's a different grieving process because I've been divorced in the past too and it's a different grieving process completely because it's something that's not going to change there's no going back to it it's over and it's gone and it's not that I didn't love my husband so deeply because I did but you know you almost in some ways kind of grieve you know that relationship in a different way and the fact that you know you miss that companionship you miss that you know being able to laugh with somebody and you know go out and do things um so it was in the fall I started dating again okay um and I've actually been in that same relationship now

for about five months wait so so real quick he passed or he died in tragically in june fall you actually that so that was that was a pretty quick time it was and i do have i have

five children two of them are adults in their um late 20s and then i have three teenagers that still live here at home how did they take it so it took them a while that they each looked at it differently and they each accepted it differently um at this point they're all fine with it and so is my husband's um three stepchildren who are adults in their 30s okay um one who lives with me here um and they've you know accepted him and we now do like you know family game nights together and you know everybody has embraced that relationship but you know i some people i have a friend whose husband killed you know it's been a year in november she still can't bring yourself to date. So it's just different for everybody. Listen, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I have been judged for moving on too quickly, but nobody can speak to what you feel and what your relationship was and what was discussed between, you know, my husband and I as a couple. So I felt confident and I felt okay. And I felt secure because I knew what my husband wanted for me. And that allowed me to be able to move forward. Thank you for sharing this with us

because I know it ain't easy. And I know coming up on a year, it's going to be even tougher. So man, our thoughts to you and just know that we're thinking of you. Thank you so much. Wow. That's a tragic, sad story. And, you know, it's nice to see that she's able to just even get out of the house some people just become so you know uh in the situation yeah then there's

hannah hannah you there on a way lighter note i told my husband i would totally haunt him if he does not wait two years

Two years. I told him, you better run up those stairs because I'm looking at you from downstairs.

So if he suddenly falls down the stairs, you know exactly who pushed him, huh?

Great.

All right.

Have a good day, everybody. You too.

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