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Mojo in the morning show. So I don't know if you guys have ever felt this way, but I went to go buy a pair of jeans. So I had to get jeans, all right? So I've been wearing the same two pair of jeans for like the longest time. and the crotch was kind of wearing out on them and they were moments away from seeing everything, Megan.

The thigh rip, not the thigh rip. The thigh rip was... The thigh rip was...

Yeah, unfortunately, it was getting to that point. So I went to the store to go buy them and I don't want to say which store it is, but it is one of the jean stores. And I walk into the store and I love their jeans, but I get very picky on the jeans that I like to wear. I don't like anything on my butt pocket. I don't like bedazzles or I don't like designs or any of that stuff. Very simple. Yeah. If I wanted, though, you know, that whole thing, I would have done true religion.

Your time travel back to six years ago. Yeah.

I would have done true religion jeans back in the day if I wanted that stuff. So I'm, and I'm about fit, too, because my pants have a hard time staying up on me. Like, I don't have a. You don't really have a butt. Yeah. I have no buttocks.

Like, his back, I don't know how to explain this. It's weird. Your back goes right into your thighs.

It's the weirdest thing ever. I don't know. I need one of those Brazilian butt lifts.

BBLs are out.

Out. Really? Everybody's getting them taken out. Is it bad for you? Real bad for you.

You have like those fake butt pads at Five Below. I can get you one of those. Oh, man.

Maybe that would be.

There's a lot of people at Five Below. Yeah, it's quite the deal.

All right. Well, I'll have to check that out. So I'm in the store, and I'm in the dressing room. And you guys know what it's like when you're trying to find something to wear and you can't find it and you're in the dressing room and you have clothes just scattered all over the place. This woman that was helping me is a really nice girl. Actually, she was helping me out. She must have brought me seven, eight, nine, ten pair of jeans. OK, and none of them worked. And after being in there for over an hour. I was like, I can't walk out of here empty handed.

That is anxiety. You know what I mean? Oh, my gosh. Yes.

So I wanted to ask this question. Have you ever felt obligated to buy something because somebody helped you or you were in a store or whatever and they were nice to you? Because I ended up buying one of the jeans and they're just okay. And I was going to wear them today and I didn't. I actually ended up wearing a pair of Lululemon pants.

Oh, yeah. You're nice and cozy.

Because I tried. I tried. Oh, they're so comfortable. I wish they made jeans that fit like these things. Yeah. So long story short, I tried the jeans on this morning. I was going to wear them in. I hate them, guys. And I want to return them, but I'm worried if I return them, will she know I returned them?

Is it a store based on...

commission? I don't know how it is.

Oh. Should I

say the store and see if any listeners know? You want me to return them for you? Well, the problem is just...

I know what store it is, and I gotta go there.

Yeah. So what happens with commission so that gets yanked out of their next check if they already got paid for the sale? It depends on the place.

So my girlfriend, Kelly, worked at a store, and that's what would happen. Oh my gosh. Is they would yank it out of your next check.

I mean, you can't control that. Listen, you tried. You did your best. You took them home and even tried them again, and if they're not comfortable, you take

them back. There's no contract. Spike, she was with me for an hour and two minutes. That's awesome. Then you know next time. And she had to go into the dressing room and re-pick up all these things. You know how that is when you walk out of

a dressing room? The worst is if you go into a small store, especially if it's a mom and pop, a local shop small type of business and they say to you, oh my, I love your show. I've been listening for years.

You're obligated to that.

And then I don't find what I'm looking for. I don't find anything to buy I feel like I have to buy something and I also feel like a thief if I walk out without buying something it's like the weirdest feeling

mine is not guilt about whether or not you helped me thank you I appreciate you but I don't feel guilty that you had to do that but if I walk out and I didn't purchase anything I assume you think I'm stealing so I'm going to buy a gift to make sure that you know that I'm not stealing even if I don't need or want anything and then I'm like she's not going to listen

the show wouldn't work i didn't buy anything oh it's the worst yeah that's it that's what i've

done in that situation i i feel bad like i'm not buying anything i go you got you you're so awesome i'm gonna post an instagram story and say what a great story this is because you guys are listeners you support us we'll support you and that's what you do because then you i'm not spending it's a good idea it's like you know i support small business i'm supporting our listeners who keep us in business goes both ways but i'm still not buying anything yeah uh karen uh you want

karen what's coming on my butt what's that karen well mojo you have what is a very specific medical condition that happens to men as they age and their butt disappears it is referred to as a frog butt why frog butt well think about how a frog looks and how like disappears into nothing and then legs that's what i go from body to legs yeah that might be me by

the way i've had this my whole life so it hasn't been as i've aged that it's gotten worse yeah honestly oh well that's a chronic condition yeah started as tadpole but he was little

uh helena what's happening it's mojo in the morning hey so i was in belgium this summer and i was in a super small town and i went into a boutique and it was only one worker and she kept giving me stuff to try on and i felt pressured to buy a 200 sweater because that

was the cheapest item so i bought it oh god 200 sweater and you're in another country you can't

return it no no no and there was even more money there so in another country i don't care about it

i'm never gonna see these people again julie what's going on um yeah so i was shopping in

one of my favorite stores and i ran into a co-worker of mine who's like a extra extra small girl she's just really tiny and we were both looking at the same dress and she's like oh my god you should get it and i could get it and you know we'd wear them on the same day or something and they had her size and then they have small and then um um a large and i tend to be more in the medium range and she's like oh totally you could get it probably runs kind of big and everything i didn't want to try it on because i didn't want her to see it to be too small so i ended up buying the small dress never wore the damn thing and i had ended up giving it away at Goodwill with the tickets still out of it, but she kept asking me, what are we going to wear our dresses?

Oh, that's funny.

I wanted her to buy it because I didn't want her to know that I actually probably needed a bigger shop. Something bigger.

Can I tell you something, Julie, to relate to exactly what you just said? Sometimes I'll get helped in a store by a very attractive girl, and I don't want to tell her that I don't fit into the double X shirt that she got me because if you're bigger than a double X, I feel like, uh-oh, she's going to look at me weird. So I'll walk out of there And think of anything I can To let her know that it doesn't fit Without telling her it doesn't fit Like I'll go Oh you know what I just realized I had that same color

Oh you know what I realized Oh these jeans don't have that little pocket That I don't know what to put in there

Yeah I've done that too Where it's just like Oh it just kind of hung funny

Yeah Or whatever I just don't want her to Even though she can look at me and go Look at you I know I can't believe sometimes I'll go into stores and they'll go, are you a large? And I'm like, oh, she's definitely hitting on me.

A large. I haven't been a large since I was in middle school. What's happening, Taylor?

Hi. I noticed before I even walk in the store, the Girl Scout cookies always get you.

Yes. I always feel obligated to buy from any kid that's standing in front of a store at a table with their parent, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Those kids get you all the time. And then sometimes you get those crazy little bastards that ask you to buy on the way out, too.

Yeah.

What's up, Shauna?

hi so i've been in that situation and if i don't like any items so that i'm not stuck with it i leave a tip and just tell them thank you for your time wow you can do that yes and they they're so grateful they don't feel bad that they spent all that time with you oh well that's a good idea i

never thought about because then it's going directly in their pocket without the paycheck

playing white elephant games and passing it on yeah and do they actually act weird when you're

tipping them like do they say sometimes they're like oh i can't do that and i'm like you know what and i'll put it i'll hand it to i'll force it to them and then they're like okay and i'll hurry but i didn't if they can they say they're not allowed to wow but then i go home i feel better they're happy that they didn't waste their time and then they they're excited to help you next time because they know that they're gonna make something even if you don't like what they

got god i'm gonna try that that's that's actually a fantastic idea you know what i mean like i'd rather be out of ten dollars than be out of you know however much there were somebody was just saying that they buy their jeans at costco and you know it's funny i buy everything at costco i have a hard time with anything other than socks and underwear i can't buy clothes there the the the sweatshirts their arms are never long enough for me and the pants are never big enough

for me oh i love the hoodies there i bought a few hoodies there but i've never i never thought about jeans there i mean costco is made for for smaller people i think yeah well maybe i should look at everything then i mean i know i could easily return anything they got such a great

return by the way yeah i googled frog but i i literally had to turn my microphone off i can't stop laughing over here is it if you are not driving google frog what mojo has everybody's

describing mojo's crying they're also calling textures have also called funny mojo with the Pancake booty and the back with the crack.

And I know what's going to happen. That little guy over here who's giggling over here, he's going to, like, Photoshop me on a frog. Yep. Thanks. Ribbit.

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