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Mojo in the morning, your home of the War of the Roses second date update in the Dirty on the 30. Shannon, what's going on?

So, Lucy and I have this thing that we started doing, which, by the way, especially if you have a tween in your house, I feel like this is a really great idea, but I bought like a mom daughter journal on Amazon and it's become kind of like our bedtime tradition over the past couple of months where it's the one that we bought is really cool where we fill it out together, but she fills out a page and then I fill out the next page and there are all these prompts in it. so you can kind of like learn more about your your daughter or she lucy can learn a little bit more about me and i can kind of gauge what's going on in her heart in her head and it's everything from like your favorite food to tell me about your favorite childhood vacation who are your best friends what was your best memory of your dad and fill them out together yeah so i sit in bed with her and instead of just like she's not my reader so she doesn't really ever sit in bed and read or anything and I don't let her have like her iPad in her room so I like to sit at the end of the day and kind of like download the day and then this is an activity that we do and it's been really enlightening and very meaningful to both of us well I realized the other day that she had skipped ahead and filled out a few pages without me which sometimes I'll have her do if I have to go and like get Smith down and get him settled to sleep and then I'll come back in and Lucy and I will finish. So she had gone ahead in the book. And this was like after I had put her to sleep. And so I went back to like read through what we had written for the night. And I noticed these extra pages. And one of the questions on the page that she had filled out without me was, if you could change anything about your life, what would it be? And her answer was like a punch in the stomach her answer was i wish my parents never got a divorce and she drew a little crying face next to it i was crushed like just tears because like to you kind of know that your child is thinking that or has thought that you know in several points along in their childhood or whatever since it happened but to actually see her write it out with that little crying face was just like, you know, man, that was so hard. So you read...

that after she had written it or because that because it wasn't she so normally we do all of

it together like as we're sitting there and um but like i said that particular night i had gone smith was like yeah you know calling for me and calling for me so i was like okay you go ahead and finish this page i'm gonna go get smith down and then i'll come back in and then by that time like it was time for her to go to bed so close the book i brought it downstairs with me and then i was just like flipping through i should i always show west like you know like what we talked about or whatever and then i like saw because it was written in pink pen so i could see it like through the other pages and i'm like wait she went ahead and that's what she wrote wow so when you read

this do you go back and then and talk to her about it or have you gone and talked to her about it so

that was last week and i did bring it up to her um and she was pretty quiet about it um i just said help you know you tell mama what you're feeling like what's on your heart and she because i i always try to you guys know this about me and it's kind of I feel like it's a it's a great attribute that I have but it's also very much a flaw that I try to flip everything to the positive or see the silver lining and so I said to her because you know now you have so many more people that love you you have Mr. Wes and you have a stepmom and you have step siblings and she's just

like yeah I just feel like it would be easier yeah I can relate to this and growing up my mom's a single mom my dad had left our family and it was really hard for me to understand the reason behind all of it but now as an adult my relationship with my mom is so different and I understand it differently so you just being here and even having that journal and letting her get that out now it's going to help her so that when she's older she can have a closer relationship and fully understand why and and maybe even accept it that's how what ended up happening to me do you as a grown

a woman right now ever think of how you wished your parents were you know you wish things were different and the family would have not uh gone through that absolutely i mean it was it was

devastating i mean my mom was a single mom she was pregnant she you know we had to sell our home we had so many things happening at once and I kind of disassociated from it but now as an adult looking back in with therapy I can thank her and appreciate what she did to help our family

yeah you brought up something interesting uh Shannon that uh you know it's funny as time goes on you go oh well that you know it's always good to look at the bright side of things you said that you've always been the look at the bright side but sometimes not looking at the bright side is always something that is needed, right?

For sure. And I think that's why it hit me as hard as it hit me when I read it because she's a pretty positive kid and you know that it bugs her. Bugs her might be the wrong word.

You feel like you're discounting her feelings when you say, well, yeah, but you have all this stuff. For sure. Right?

For sure. Yeah, but it was just so blatant in my face to read it was was really really like honestly one of the hardest moments of my whole entire life how old was she when y'all got divorced um we told her she was kindergarten five yeah has it

come up multiple times like before this at all or was that really no okay no you know what's amazing is first off thank you for sharing this i think that it's great that you're able to to share this

with the listeners and i i'm being very composed right now because i've been a big mess about this like every time i think about it i get this huge frog in my throat because it's it's like your baby and you feel like you failed as a parent you know it's it's just yeah well i don't think you failed

i think failing is keeping a child in a situation that is traumatic and filled with not love well that way and that was your situation megan yeah no absolutely i'm so grateful for my parents divorce is not even funny i don't know if i felt that way my entire life because i think the shock of change is always difficult so like change of i was very grateful in the fact that i got to stay in the home that i was raised in my dad kept my similar to kp my dad was a single father when they split up but i got to stay in the home um that was comfortable and was safe um so that to me was like a big guiding kind of compass of like stability um but after i was a little bit older i was so grateful that my dad had put up with something that was so terrible for so long to make sure that i kept that stability and there's a lot of appreciation and knowledge that

comes with age and time and understanding and i don't think and i think in in all the cases i mean kp talking about her family uh you talk about yours and then of course shannon's you know every situation is completely different there's not no but i i will say this the thing i respect the most out of you and obviously uh

Lucy's dad is that both of you guys you know have worked on yourselves like I think that's huge yeah and I think that both and you guys have both ended up you know finding you know unbelievable people to be in your lives now yeah I think it's awesome that you and this is something if you take away anything from this take away the moments that you're spending with her to give her the opportunity to do this because there are so many people that are older that never ever get to talk to their parents about the things that hurt them so much when they're younger and for her to be able to write this

on paper. To feel safe enough. And then for you

to read it and then for eventually if it comes up where you guys work through it together or have the conversation, you gave her the opportunity to actually feel heard, you know? That's a pretty cool thing.

As an adult now looking back, because my parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten too, and there are so many questions and conversations that still as a 41 year old woman i would want to have but i and like i love my mom and dad but i they we weren't we're not a family of talkers yeah if that makes sense so like there was never that sort of space to be able to like express i don't think the times were like feelings yeah i think i think and even now like there's so much i want to ask and say and i'm like i don't know i i would feel so weird doing that now but you know

what's funny is that one day maybe this will be a catalyst for you that lucy's therapy will might

be your therapy yeah what's up ryan hi i just wanted to say that uh i got divorced when my son was two years old and he is turning 10 next month and just asked to go to therapy because that is one of the things that he still wishes that his dad and i were together despite us taking vacations together he still wishes that we were together so i feel you so much

yeah that's uh that's cool isn't it that he wants to seek therapy instead of you know pushing it down and not wanting to uh to to talk about it and that's great that you're open and willing

we're not talkers right so like i'm so happy that he was yeah come to me and say that he wanted this despite it crushing my heart yeah i don't i you know i'm divorced that's fine we've accepted it but i and i he was too he has no idea that we were together and yet he still wishes that

we were together so i just feel you that's cool thank you for calling and telling us that olivia

hi hi good morning good morning um so my daughter's dad um committed suicide a year ago um she's eight years old now. She has no idea how he passed. Um, I'm in a loving relationship with my fiance and she loves him. They absolutely are father and daughter. Um, but I picked her up from school yesterday and she gets in the car and I always ask her how her day went. And she said, well, I cried a little. And I said, well, honey, why's that? And she said, well, no one asked me where my dad was and i told him that he died and chris my fiance replaced him and my heart just dropped um she i said well honey he's never going to replace your dad honey he is still here with us he's in our hearts he's watching over us but it just broke my heart to hear you know that she thinks her own dad's being replaced by somebody else yeah the things kids think about are just you know they're not they're little but they're not dumb you know they're aware and

did you did you shannon when your parents were going through doors ever think that put it on you that you thought you were a reason why or no so it never became that you think i mean not that i remember no no i really don't what could have been yeah and it's again it's one of those things

where, like, just to see it, like, to Olivia's point, you know that it's probably crossed their mind and it's on their heart, but to actually hear them say it out loud, or in my case, write it down and you're reading it, it's just, it's so hard.

What's going on, Renee? Hi, it's Mojo in the Morning Show.

Hi, good morning. Good morning.

Good morning.

First time, long time. Hey there. All right. Like we had with that

War of the Roses, it always feels weird to do the first time, long time, in a serious topic, but we need it almost for a levity. Yeah.

Now's my chance, I gotta say it. I just wanted to say to Shannon, I was a younger kid when my parents got divorced, and it was really messy, and it ended horribly, and we all, as the kids, witnessed.

that but i am 24 now and you know dating seriously and um it has shown me the best example my mom showed me that um if you're in a relationship that isn't going well or a loveless relationship that it's okay to leave no matter what you have attached to that person um for yourself in the sake of the people around you. And that has been very important for me in this point in my life.

So as a grown woman, it actually gave you the ability to be able to kind of work your relationship.

Yeah, it taught me that, you know, I've lived with two different people and ended things when things went bad. And I felt comfortable and confident that I was making the right decision and was able to leave with whatever attachments I had because I saw my mom do it.

Interesting. Yeah. Well, listeners are asking questions, Shannon. One of the questions that they're asking is, can you share the journal?

Oh, you know what? I'll post it to my Instagram story. Oh, my God.

I thought you meant, like, her entries. Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no, no.

I'll post a picture of, like, which one I ordered from Amazon. I was like, wow, people nosy.

It's Mojo in the morning. You want to make a comment on what Shannon brought up this morning and talking about, you know, dealing with divorce in a family? You can, and you can send her messages too. You can go and do that through text at 95500 or, of course, DMs on our Instagram and Facebook.

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