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All right, it is Mojo in the Morning show. So we talked about this on our More Mojo podcast. You can go check it out. It was called Couples Therapy, I think it was, or something like that. We talked about how Shannon was going for her first session of her premarital counseling with her fiancé, Wes. And you were doing it virtually, right? So you were doing it, were you doing it in the same place or a different place than him?

We were doing it in different places. And the reason that we weren't in person, just for a little backstory, is because we really wanted to do it with this one woman and her availability kind of didn't really match with ours. We took the first appointment that we could and both Wes and I couldn't be in her office, but we wanted the appointment. So that's the reason that we did it virtually. Normally we'll be in person.

So I remember premarital counseling and you probably remembered the first time that you did premarital counseling when you got married before. It's it's one of those things where you're trying to honestly, I felt like I was just going through it to do it for the church. Like I really didn't want to learn anything. You're doing this because you truly want to know what's going on.

Well, yeah, I mean, I both Wes and I are very much in agreement that we, you know, unfortunately, the statistic is not great for the success of second marriages. And we're both very aware of that. And obviously, you know, we know what happened to both of our first marriages. And so we are just really, really committed to making sure that that we take, you know, all of the appropriate steps and are very well equipped going into this. And especially since we have, you know, we're blending families here. Yeah. And we want to be really careful and do it the right way and not cause any damage. So we, you know, both just said this is very, very important to us. I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't know that either. The statistics for second marriages? Mm-hmm. The failure rate? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Is it greater than the statistic for a first marriage? It is. Wow.

See, I wouldn't have expected that. I would have thought that because people had gone through divorce before, they would... This sounds weird, but I would just expect that they would know what they wanted in a partner more or not need to be married again.

Well, I want to say, and I am no expert on this by any means, but I want to say that I would assume it's attributed to a lot of times there are, you know, children involved and other, you know, there are there are exes involved. There are so many different so many more layers to it the second or third time around.

You know, you do blame the children. I do not.

Especially my sweet children or his sweet children, no.

No, but I also think that there's probably something to, a lot of times people will get back into a relationship so fast too. Yeah, true. Which I think both of you guys have not done. Right. Like you guys have.

I mean, I took my time. Yeah, and so is he.

I mean, he's been divorced for some time too. Yes, he's been divorced for longer than I have. All right, so what revelations did we learn in premarital counseling number one?

Well, so the first session, and anybody who goes to therapy, you know this. The first couple of sessions are basically like discovery because you don't know this person who's helping you, this therapist. They want to learn more about you and your partner and how you met and your backgrounds and your families and all of that stuff. But I said this yesterday during the podcast. She had us fill out like an intake form, like a questionnaire to kind of speed up that process a little bit. So she had all of that information in front of her. um so one of the things that that was on there was um you know like a whole section about intimacy west is probably driving off the road right now by the way if he's listening and hearing me talk about this um but there there were questions about like how satisfied are you with your you know your love life um how satisfied are you you know in the bedroom with baking cookies and then there was a question about how many times in the last month have you baked cookies okay so and I can't see his answers and he can't see my answers and she will never show them you know to the other to the other party okay so I answered and I know what my answer is and don't even ask me because I'm not going to say it on the air and I don't know what his answer is but she mentioned during our session yesterday and she said this happens all of the time oh crap he is listening he just texted me she she said that this happens all of the time that the numbers like our recollect people's recollections are very different and one of us doubles the what the other person said oh really isn't that funny that's crazy and i'm trying to think was it me i'm not playing a damn game with

you no no i'm wondering i'm wondering i just use this as a musical back i'm wondering who it was That did that

I feel like my number was very accurate And it's a very good number by the way We have a very healthy

If you say more That means that even if it was less That means that You were maybe very satisfied Because it's usually the people that complain Are the ones that complain about it

Which I was not complaining in my answer I hope he wasn't complaining in his answer If your number is very good Can it be doubled on this scale? My number Could It could have been doubled That would not It would not have been accurate

Question for you though How do you keep track of an entire month

I don't even know what I did last night I wanted to say that but I didn't want to be defensive And assume that I was the one that doubled it But I don't put like a dot on my calendar When we You know When we bake cookies Do people do that If you're trying to get pregnant aside Because I understand people do that

I was wondering because I wondered if you had Something that you did that with

Yeah

Hold on one second, I actually have a person I would like to call her right now

Who?

Are you calling him? No, it's a premarital counselor Yeah, it's Wes

I might be in trouble

No, I don't think so

I'm serious Oh God, am I in trouble?

This is Shannon's fiancé Wes, so which one of you guys doubled the number or did more of the number? Who do you think it was? Was it Shannon? It was Shannon? For sure, Shannon. For sure. Really?

Well, my number was very high.

Oh, well, that's good. Wait a second. Because you know your answer of your number of how many times you've baked cookies this month.

In the last month was the answer. In the last month? Okay, good.

I have a number. All right, hold on. Off the air right now. No, no, no, no. I don't want you to know. Text me. Off the air. Real quick. In my headphones right now. You can't. Wes, say hello. You can't hear him, right? Truly you can't hear. I did not hear anything. Wes, give me the number you gave to the counselor. All right. Okay. Hold on a second. Don't say anything. Don't say anything right now. I won't. Shannon?

What? I'm going to show you my answer.

No, I want you to do us a favor. I want you to verbally say your answer.

No, I'm not going to. Why? That is so personal.

Okay, then show me.

Is it really different? Is it really different?

Yours was the way more. Really? Yes.

My love, maybe I'm just dreaming about baking cookies with you, so I counted that into the number of two.

It's funny. Is it really that different? It's pretty different, yeah. Wes, honestly. It's like you guys don't even get a break, man. According to Shannon, you guys have had so many cookies that seriously.

I said we have a very healthy love life. Do you agree? Yes.

Okay. He doesn't agree to the exact number, though.

Well, apparently you did it in the questionnaire.

That's pretty wild, though. That's wild how different you guys are about this. Like, I think that that's interesting that the number kind of is a little bit off there. But actually, Wes, that's got to make you feel good, right?

Yeah, I mean, I hope I'm there every time.

Listen, I'm going to say this to you. If you were having to be there as many times as Shannon wrote down on that piece of paper, buddy, I'd be wondering if you're okay, if we might need to maybe give this man, I don't know, a little break for a little bit. Yeah. All right. So, Wes, what was what was your biggest revelation from going to this counseling session yesterday? You're pre people are like, what is premarital counseling? It's counseling before you get marriage married.

Right. Yeah. Right. My my revelation was when the counselor wasn't looking or therapist wasn't looking and she was entering in our next scheduled date. But Shannon looked at the screen and started to make gestures at me, like a licky face or a wink. And I'm like, you know this call is recorded for her later.

I was doing more than that. After, because it was telehealth or whatever, whatever. I don't even know what platform she uses. But afterwards, we did FaceTime each other. And he goes, just so you are aware, she's probably going to go back and take notes on our session because this is the first time she's trying to get to know us. And she is going to see you doing all of those things.

That's funny. Well, it's good that you guys are playful and that you guys are both concerned. Are you concerned, Wes? Because Shannon brought this up. Do you get concerned about that statistic of second marriages and how there's a high number of them that end in divorce?

Yeah, I think I'm the one that brought it up. Yeah, it's definitely something that's out there for both of us.

It's good, though, that you think about that because so many times people...

Well, we're just being, we're being realistic and aware.

But that's awesome because nobody goes into marriage wanting it to fail, right? We all say that that person is the person I love more than anything in the world. You know, you're even telling God that you love him, you know, more than anything in the world. And then what ends up happening is you don't go in prepared for the times when things aren't happy. Which, by the way, as you guys both know from being in previous relationships, relationships are definitely more happy than they are unhappy. but it's the unhappy ones that can fester and keep on going and make for the marriage to not be successful.

Yeah.

Right?

Yep.

So, well, listen, lucky guy. I guess we need to make it for us. We'll connect later. You know what's amazing about this? You know who Shannon is, Megan, I realize in this? Who's that? Me, when I was in college, and I used to tell my buddies how many times I was having sex with people.

No, I really was. Like, I had to think about an accurate number, but I don't know.

Wes, guys would say, yeah, did you do her? You know, like, people would, like, guys would say that, you know, after you go out in a day, like, yeah, I did, which, by the way, I was at home by, like, 9 o'clock.

Isn't a more important question, though, sorry not to get, like, too weirdly off-topic here, though, not how good it is, but, like, or not how often you do it, but are you guys just both satisfied with that number, whether they match or not? Are you both, like, happy with it? I think that was another question.

Oh, my God. I should be a therapist. Megan, there's room for both. Yeah, that's true.

Okay. Sometimes a little quickie is actually not bad, right? Right. It's okay. It's like a quick shower. You know what it is? It's like a, what do women call it when they don't wash their hair? It's like a dry shower. Dry shampoo? Or dry, I don't know. Whatever they do. I'm just going to do a body shower. No, it's a body shower. Yeah, it's like a body shower. It's a body shower. All right. Wes, take care of yourself.

I love you.

I love you guys. Oh, thank you. I love you too.

I love you so much.

Oh, she was talking to Wes. Ah. Not as much as you love Wes. Holy cow. Sam, what's going on? It's Mojo in the morning.

Hey, I was just wondering, like, I'm not trying to blame the kids, so Megan, don't start on me. But, like, realistically, does it have something to do with kids' failure rate with second marriages? because you have years with your like previous partner parenting a particular way and then you're like navigating this new co-parenting relationship and then you have this new partner yeah so there's like a lot of cooks in the kitchen yeah that's a great point yeah yeah it's like rate is with parents who remarried with children and then versus those without yeah yeah is it that though

Or is it you've already.

been through divorce so like the the stress of going through that like you know what to expect do you think a lot of it is if you've never been divorced before you don't want to go through that process but if you have it's not I don't want to say this like I know because obviously I don't but is it not as big of a deal because it's not the unknown I don't know I just know that like

I've unfortunately witnessed some pretty unhealthy co-parenting relationships and if you're not fortunate enough i feel like that can lead to a lot of strife between you and your new partner yeah because you're trying to navigate and keep a relationship a lot of times if you can if it's healthy and it's that safety issue um you know with your previous person so i think there's i would know i'd be curious but i do think there's some validity in that other theory as well and i

think and honestly i love that you're bringing this up and i hope that you do too sam that channon and west bringing this up because i hope that there are some people that maybe learn from

this if they're oh for sure yeah can she just give me you guys are putting in the work and being proactive rather than reactive thanks your kids are so lucky to have you guys thank you

can they what can she just give me one fm babies before she gets off the phone

come on come on sam i didn't hear that i'm sorry can you give a quick fm babies to megan

her her moniker i love you dearly and you are one of my faves girl but i can't do it

You know what? Call us back in a couple of days when the kids are a pain in the ass.

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