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All right, it is Mojo in the morning. Kev, you had a moment with Josiah, and it was funny because you called me and were talking to me last night on the phone, and you were telling me that you kind of felt bad over something that you said to Josiah, your son.

Sometimes I feel like I'm too hard on Josiah, and I don't know where I get that from. I don't know if I'm compensating because at Josiah's age right now was the time that when I was his age, my dad wasn't there because he was incarcerated so I don't know subconsciously if I'm trying to like parent him the way that I wanted to be parented or how I think a father should raise his son not just a parent but a father should raise his son and I think sometimes I'm tired so I think I lack patience when it comes to Josiah in certain areas or I think because he's so intelligent so charismatic that I think he should just have that intelligence over every area of his life and not just scholastically and i had a moment where i wanted josiah to start doing chores and the chore that i had as a child was to clean the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms i had to wash the tubs clean the mirrors off do the sinks get the toilet sweep and mop and i got an allowance and i wanted to extend that same opportunity of doing chores to josiah and give him some responsibility yeah the opportunity yeah that blessing and i think that doing chores at a young age has many different benefits and it gives you some type of ownership in this house that you don't pay for that you don't buy anything you don't have any bills you just get the lay of the

land it's got to be more to life than roblox and josiah oh i'm sorry hold on what you doing over here bruh i'm trying to find the song from annie it's a hard knock line you want me to wait no no go ahead because that by the way is what i'm thinking of with josiah he's the uh he's the annie the annie of of the the orphanage he's really not though bruh and it got to a point

where i had to like i don't know if he was joking or if he was for real but he didn't know how to like hold a broom the right way and some of the things i was getting extremely frustrated and Instead of, like, being a part of this moment with him and understanding that this is his first time doing these chores, I just assume, like, I could just tell him. For sure, he know how to wash the bathroom tub. But I'm like, man, just wash the bathroom tub, grab the windex, scrub the thing. I hope you're not snapping and pointing like that. I was on that. And I started to get frustrated the more that I had to tell him. He was already frustrated because he had to do it. But I think I lacked the patience of working with him through this process instead of just being a dictator.

saying boom boom boom boom boom and um i would not know how to wash a tub by the way just throw the ajax and scrubby with the water i wouldn't even know to use ajax good old-fashioned ajax yeah or comic like i do now as an adult like don't get me wrong i i've cleaned my shower before but like as a kid i would i would have used windex for everything like i would not know

yeah so you gotta walk him through it so so you you felt bad because you were man i felt i just felt like i was being demonstrative to him you know you know what's funny is when you were telling

the story i had you on speaker and chelsea was there too and we hung up the phone and chelsea's like man we screwed up as parents our kids should have learned how to like clean toilets and you know do that thing because our kids our kids were told pick up your room and the idea of picking up their room was putting clothes in a hamper like that was kind of the the nature of things because chelsea did pretty much everything for them and i think it's good that you're teaching josiah this

It is, but at the same time, I have to be a part of this and not just be the dictator.

Are you feeling bad about the specific chore? Are you saying in your head now, okay, maybe scrubbing the tub and cleaning the toilets is a little bit too much? No, no. Or it's how you presented it to him, or as you said, extend the opportunity to him?

Yeah, I think that I needed to do a better job of working with him and maybe doing it with him the first time instead of not only expecting him to know what to do, but chastising him for not doing it.

So you should talk to Wes about this because after Wes got divorced and he had the kids a good chunk of the time, he had Kieran and Samantha a good chunk of the time. And so they learned how to do their laundry on their own in elementary school. He had them cleaning everything. And for him, the way that he kind of worded it was like, we're a team. this is our house we all have to contribute like we there's nobody else it's just us so we all have to do these things together and those kids now i mean they're amazing they are amazing i look at what they do compared to what i do with mine and i'm like smith why did that not happen put your backpack on a hanger or on a hook instead of on the floor did he you ask him why it didn't happen

when it was just all the whole family together well they were so little okay they were very very little before okay right yeah but that was how he would have probably done it anyway

Yeah, I don't know, but...

Does he add some of that aspect with Lucy and Smith or is he kind of hands off and let you do that?

A little bit. We're kind of working through that right now of trying to give them age-appropriate chores and it just looks really different for them what it did for... We parent very differently.

Be careful, though, because I had a friend of ours, Charminda Chelsea and I, who's, they were never married, but they were engaged at one point. he was kind of militaristic with her kids on things that they would do they were i think i even talked about it one time he made him shovel the snow um off the grass and then off the grass on the grass yeah like he would have him like with his stepkids or his kids with his with his stepkids and he would do that like hey i'm going to teach you guys how to do real work and honestly

i think the kids resented him for that yeah that's not fostering good familial relationships

What's going on, Jen?

Good morning. I just wanted to say I think that it's really important to teach, to actually do these things with your kids, teach them how to do it, because it seems like common sense as an adult, like you don't know how to use a broom. You've seen me do it 17 million times, but they really don't. You actually have to teach them. And the other thing I was going to say to you is that when I became an adult, I had a mother that didn't teach me how to clean. And when I began, I had to teach myself how to do laundry, how to cook, how to do all that stuff. So I'm really big on trying to, like, prepare my children to do that when they get older so they don't feel as incompetent.

I still don't know how to cook.

Yeah, I was just about to say that. Not even being funny. I just was never taught. I was just about to say it's funny for parents to be like, you've seen me do this a million times. I watch a million cooking shows. I can make a risotto right now. You know what I mean? But I've seen it, or Beef Wellington. I've seen that made a thousand times on television. I can do it.

Well, and I think something as simple as you think of sweeping is not simple to a child because you may be in the room when your parents doing it. You're not doing it, looking at everything. You may mimic the emotions, but you're not knowing exactly what they're doing.

It reminds me of when I was learning to drive and my mom would sit in the passenger seat and she'd be like, just back out of the driveway and go that way. I'm like, I don't even know you take your, you take this for granted that you've done this every day for however many years. I don't know which way to turn the wheel. you need somebody to do it with you or to really teach you hey jamal hey i was i was just trying

to touch on kev no i feel that bro i i feel like my lack of patience for my little one is also kind of a thing that i'm dealing with right now as well man because it's just like it's hard to it's hard to expect them to do things but also at the same time i i got a note that we have to give them grace because they're so little yeah but i just like bro like why can't you figure this out but at the same time it's like this is their first time doing it this is it's like i feel that bro

we're on the crazy thing so it got down to the point where i bought josiah like one of those like watches where you can call them and talk them and track and all of that and he didn't know how to fastened the strap of the watch to like lock it in so it was loose on his arm and i even got frustrated on that because in my mind it's like just tighten up the thing and when i i could almost cry right now i was holding back tears yesterday as i was looking to him because i was apologizing and i'm my mans right now just made me think about it like josiah had been feeling this pressure and this emotion of how negative i have been to him over these little moments and i didn't realize it because he didn't tell me about it until I was apologizing and I could see his hurt in his eyes, but also like his appreciation and noticing that I noticed.

And also what a great lesson to him to hear his dad say, that wasn't my best, me being my, you know, my best self as a dad to you. And I'm really sorry. I wish I would have behaved this way. I wish I would have explained it this way. I think that's so big for kids to see.

Hey, Lacey.

Hi. First time, long time. Hey there. so i have four kids and i'm the same age as kevin i'm i'm 35 um and my mom was like the kind of mom who's like you don't get to do anything until this house is clean and my brother was like always running around so it was mostly me like being responsible for cleaning up everything and my kids are getting to the age like they're about to be 13 12 and 10 the little

one he doesn't do anything he's useless but um did you just call your kid useless he's five and

he's like the baby he was like a covet baby so he like he rules the house so yeah he's useless

as the baby of the family don't call us useless so like my kids know how to do all of the things

they but during the school year also their responsibilities are less because their job the school yeah yeah that's good so their their priority is school work they come home they'll unload the dishwasher they can sweep the floor they can vacuum they can't do laundry to save their life so you know and i do like kind of get so frustrated with them not being able to do simple things that i was able to do when i was at that age but i also remember like they get to be kids

more than i did also you know it's amazing though they also have a lot more electronics and fun things than we probably all had when we were younger do you think they also have more expectations on them no i think i disagree i think that they're i for my kids personally i don't no i think that they have more i think i think our parents our parents expected more without even saying it we have to actually and we give them less because we got put through that i like i think that like

when it comes to sports and education and achievement like having a job being in a sport um doing well at school i then saying i think we make them more active do you think that it's

expected though it was for me really but i'm talking what about these kids nowadays i think

it is expect i think more kids have are participating in competitive travel sports than ever before and i think that's more financial responsibility on the family and higher expectations and more

pressure but do you think do you think that that's not expectations that's us making them we we are giving we are we are overly making them uh uh get involved in things which i think is expectations and pressure well i think the problem is though when they fail at it we allow it to happen our parents i i think that the parents like scott mick do you think scott mick would

have let you quit anything at all um i mean he did but it was different so i didn't have to be in a competitive travel sport he would do it if i wanted to but if i had to be in an activity but i think but it didn't have to be a competitive travel sport and i i see kids nowadays and what it costs and what the family travels are and all that and i just i think it's harder for kids

well i i think that the kids are more uh i think kids right now you're right do a lot they do more travel stuff and they do more they get they parents for some reason are living vicariously

thinking their kids are all going to be absolutely think that's what it is and we i feel like we forget that these kids did two years of at-home schooling where we put that pressure on them and they were not you know i think kids have a very very difficult time way harder than i ever

did well i think that they i think that they do a lot more stuff outside the home than they do inside of the home i think in the home they come home and they probably have more fun video gaming and

Sitting on the couch.

Something that makes it a lot tougher for me, too, is I don't think there's as many single-income households anymore. I think more and more often we're seeing both parents working outside of the home, and that just wasn't the case for at least where I grew up. It's a lot harder to not have that presence of a parent at home walking you through sports or walking you through homework or whatever it was. I feel bad for kids. I feel so bad for them.

Yeah, I think that I think what Kevin's doing is phenomenal, because I think that Josiah is one of those kids that is very already smart in school. He's very creative. He's got the creative side. He's extremely mature. And I think that it's good that he's getting a little bit of of work going. I think the one thing we don't do with our kids, honestly, is keep them active. And like, I think that that was one of the things like we were told, go out and play and don't come home until you know it's dark outside so we were running outside non-stop wouldn't you know and I still was fat but I believe it or not but I think it's amazing where I found the food I can't must have came I must they hid I was like a chipnunk or whatever I hid it inside the neighborhood that was going to all the

neighbors houses to get their snacks but but I but I do think that I do think

that that's one of the things with these kids I think these kids we give them they oh they're so busy they're so this they have this and we focus so much on telling them they have to be good in school or you have to be in school when in reality it's like i mean honestly i think they'll let the kids be a freaking kid you know what i mean and stop put so much focus that school is the most important thing or sports is the most important thing i think the most important thing is if josiah knows how to clean a tub and and clean a toilet and doesn't live is not going to be living in squalor and later in his life you know what i mean like in a dirty house. I think that's important. He's going to be well-rounded if you let him down.

That's for sure. I think the most important thing is how Josiah treats others and how he demands to be treated. That's more important than sports, than cleaning the toilet, than school, than it's his ability to respect and be respected. Done. And you have done a phenomenal job with that. I appreciate that.

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