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Oh, all right. It is mojo in the morning. Um, we, this is, I don't know if it's a serious one. and it obviously seems serious, Kev thinks that one of his family members is doing, like, hard drugs, Kev?

I mean, yeah. I'm surprised we're doing this right after that.

Well, it was scheduled next, and honestly... I feel like we should have thought about that a little more. Well, she didn't schedule it this way. He's still high over there. That's what he's doing.

I know. Well, no, it's all right. Well, no, it's called a segue. This is a segue. Yeah, for real. This is a serious situation, and through therapy, i realized that whenever i'm faced with serious stuff i like make a joke about it or i like try to find a funny way to to spin it yeah that uh i think we all do that yeah yeah that eases me in some type of some type of way but a family member and i will uh i will try to say they so i'm not like on either side um because i don't you know i don't want to it to get around back to that person but i think that person is back using hardcore drugs and this person has had their battle with substance abuse a long time ago and has communicated that they're done with that portion of their life but they have been showcasing what i call crackhead behavior um more recently and a few of the things is like the speed in which they talk the weight that they have and even though they're a very active person you can tell like what type of skinny it kind of look like and the other day they called me and it was like let me get twenty dollars and it was actually twenty dollars i'll give it back to you on wednesday it's talking all fast and in my mind i'm like twenty dollars like what the hell can you do with twenty dollars for real like and if it's like you on your last dollar and you need some gas and you need some food like i feel like that's what you would tell me but just to say let me get $20 I need $20 I'll give it back to you Wednesday didn't get my 20 back by the way but it's all good that's what I expected in my mind I'm like for one I definitely need to approach this person and have like a real conversation um because I do feel like we have that type of relationship but also this would be the first type of conversation that I've had with anybody let alone somebody you know like in my family and um have y'all ever dealt with you know somebody with substance abuse issues or you have yes how did how did you know or and then how did you react to them or did you address it um i don't know if

i addressed it the proper way is what i'll say but this person had been to like rehab facilities like it was a known problem and so when you just exhibit those kind of sneaky behaviors coming back up again you go oh no and i'm not sure if i did handle it right or not because i have a fear of if you just cut everything off and confront right away that person might not come back to you again and then how can i help in the future if you don't come to me but you also don't want to be an enabler so it's like a weird juggling process i've never dealt with drugs being their issue

i've dealt with alcohol before and so alcohol i don't know if it's any different but

alcohol it was trying to make them understand that they are abusing it and uh and that they they need to have help and that i would be their person that would you know not judge them but try

to get them help did you invite them out to lunch did you do it in a car like how did you set the

scene to have that conversation i did it with a former radio uh friend of ours that uh that you know i worked with and it was me and two other guys and we did it on honestly over the course of months of every night we would talk to this person for at least an hour a night just to see how they were doing because they were lonely by themselves and um and then finally we just said hey we want to get your help and then we finally uh confronted them with it and they knew what was going on they knew what you know he knew what we were doing to him but i don't know i think it's It's one of those ones. I think sometimes if you let them know what you're planning on doing right away, they'll shut you off. But if you, over time, just show them that you're a safe place.

I also think that it's smart to have a community that's in that task with you. I think that that's a lot to have just on you.

And I think that sometimes you have to have somebody that's been through it, that knows what to do and what not to do and what to say, what not to say.

Plus, you can't force a fix onto somebody. But you have to be there for when they want to be fixed.

844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548. Again, this is somebody that you're very, very close to. It's a family member.

Yeah, it's a family member.

Sean, what's happening?

Hey, what's up, brother?

How you doing? Say how to Kev.

Hey, what's up, Kev?

What up, Sean?

How you doing, Aries? ah what's up g i'm good man so check this out long time ago man my mama was you know on drugs and you know what i'm saying she was doing uh crack you know what i mean and uh you know i i grew up i grew up real hard from that because you know she she wasn't really there to guide me and my brothers were you know they stayed locked well one of them stayed locked up and the other one he just was all for himself so you know that's the reason why i'm the person i am today but at the same time so me and my brothers one time well i came to my brother my middle brother and i was talking to him about you know we need to talk to mom man you know what i'm saying because she's like she ain't on track you know what i mean and we had to well this was the first time me and him had ever approached her like that and i you know i can relate to that kev because that was the first time i had to have a talk like that with anybody and it had to be my mom you know

what i'm saying which has got to be really tough because usually it's the opposite right your mom's parenting you not you're having to try to parent your mom exactly so you know me and my brother

sat her down and we got to talking to her about it and you know we had a moment you know she she had a breakdown she broke down crying and you know she was letting us know that yeah she was gonna get off of it and things like that so later on about i can say about two or three months later they had him my brother and my my mom had a real bad accident and my mom died but they brought her back oh geez and um yeah man they brought her back she died in the car accident but they resuscitated her and brought her back but she had her whole face crushed in the accident she lost sight in one eyes she lost her sense of smell and i really think that that was the act of god to get her off of that because after that happened she got off of it wow that's amazing and yeah man and mom is still with us today yep it's been like 10 years that's incredible buddy that's an unbelievable

story so your your advice to kevin is love on them and possibly what finding somebody else to

help him in the family to help him with this this is this is my advice to you kev if you feel compelled to talk to that person you go do it because probably ain't nobody else doing it and once you say something to somebody it's it's gonna stick it they might not it might not look like it's gonna stick but it's gonna stick and it's up to them you did your part it's up to them to take your advice but you did your part so i mean it's i mean it's up to that person genuinely to get themselves back together i mean all you can do is help and talk yeah that's great that's

a great point and they're gonna fail they're unfortunately all of the people that i have known and again this is with alcohol not drugs they have failed five six seven times before something finally

got them to to really be done so i love i love his point of you did what you were supposed to do you know sean thank you for sharing that man i really appreciate that it's all good man i love

all y'all man you know i listen to y'all every day y'all some real people man and you know what i mean i try to live my life right and that's what i mean you know um i've been there man i've been through a lot you know i i got two children in heaven i got four grandchildren buddy you got four grandchildren and two that pass how old are you no two two of my children are past i'm 41

you're 40 two of your children have passed and you've got grandchildren yes okay man i'm sorry

that's awful don't be sorry for my don't be sorry for that i'm blessed to have my grandchildren i

No, I'm saying, but I didn't realize you had children in the past. 41 years old, you lived a life. Holy cow.

Yes, I have, bro.

Thank you, buddy.

It's because of that test you can testify. You're helping people. I appreciate you, Sean.

Thanks for the call, buddy. What's going on, Sarah?

Hi. So I am actually a recovering addict myself. I've been six years clean.

Good job.

So I just want to tell Kev that, like, from a personal experience, if you're close enough to him like definitely like you can definitely be the one to talk to him but you gotta let him know that you're not trying to rush him because they will run like just i know for me like when people were trying to force me and i wasn't ready i just ran from him so just let him know that when he is ready if that is what's going on that you're there and you're there to help him when he is ready that's really all you can do unfortunately and like shannon said sometimes they will fail the first few times or more um it took me at least five times in rehab until i finally got it and you got to hit rock bottom unfortunately and you got to let them hit that because if you do give him twenty dollars every time yes then it's never right he's never going to hit that rock bottom because that's what happened to me everybody kept giving it to me when i kept asking making up excuses and i needed groceries i need this i need that i ran out of gas and so they started telling me no and i lost everybody that's when it kind of hit me and um i got clean so good for you sarah thank you for the call yep wow these are

lydia great job getting these people on the phone thank you to our listeners for calling

and sharing what's up amanda hi good morning good morning good morning for those just tuning

in right now, Kev has a family member that he's worried is an addict and wondering what to do.

Um, well, I just, um, heard Sarah talking about how, um, they need to wait and, uh, kind of ease into it because I'm also in recovery. I have been clean for three and a half years. um and it took me a long time like she said i don't know five six seven eight nine times going into rehab and like she said too if you're giving them money you're just enabling and enabling is just going to keep them going and going and going um and uh rock bottom is where you gotta what you gotta hit you really gotta hit rock bottom question for you when you hit rock

bottom does it affect your relationship with them when you finally come out of therapy like do you look at that how does it affect your relationship with the family members that let you hit rock

bottom um so honestly it it takes a really really long time to get anyone's trust back um so that there is a time where i'm actually struggling like financially or just coming over to hang out it's like hide your purses hide your everything just because they're scared that you you know might steal I never was a you know I never was a thief thank the lord um and I never really had to um I worked for my money and um I did ask for money a few times you know with my family but they uh it took a long long time to get their trust back for sure man so you right now

are this is your your battle that you have and you're doing well yeah absolutely um it is a

battle every single day but i do um i have a daughter um and so that is my um you know she's my life so i have to be here as a mother um to take care of her and if i'm not

taking care of myself I cannot take care of her so yeah I've heard one time

somebody say and this was a person that was helping us with my friend that had alcohol it was was an alcoholic and they said they can't do it for their for their kids they got to do it for themselves and that's your number one

priority I put myself first before anybody well thank you for the call appreciate it absolutely you guys have a good day Kevin you hear this what rings

to you as far as some of the advice that we've gotten from these last three callers?

Well, the first thing that's on my mind right now is like, you say you got to care about yourself before you care about anybody. I feel like that's the same mentality that gets you into this situation. Like, that's why you're doing it because you only care about yourself. So it's kind of like this weird juxtaposition where on the left side is like, yes, the only thing that can get me through is worrying about myself. But on the right side, it's like, that's the same mindset that you're thinking of when you're doing the things that you know is not only hurting yourself hurting everybody else um but obviously for one it's amazing the type of listeners that we have and you never know what someone is going through and thank you and blessings to everybody that's in recovery and blessings and love to everybody that has somebody that's going through recovery and uh definitely need to have the conversation but need to do it with love and grace and let that person know that i'm not there to judge them i'm there for understanding and to help heal if there's an

issue tammy what do you want to say to kev oh hi um i was just saying i have i have a family member who's currently like has been going on and off for years with um the drug scene and all you can really do is just have an honest conversation with them um but don't give them anything and let them know that you know you're not there to judge them but you're there to support them and unless they're ready to talk to you or to like get help just let them know that you're you're in their corner and that's all you really can do until like they're ready to like make those

moves thank you for the call uh what do you think valerie hi you wanted to say something

hi um i just wanted to say my daughter is 23 now she will be um clean one year july 19th from um yes she was in a um car accident didn't like drinking didn't like marijuana tried it once and her brother had to nurse her through the anxiety of that the one time she tried it and the minute they gave her the oxy it flipped the switch and addiction is so genetically i mean it's huge and as a family of trying to get her through it and it's like it's like i told her You know, I had to let her know that we, I especially, I forgive her for what the things that she did. Because that was like addiction brain. I'm sorry, addiction brain. When she was in next, it's like air. It's like air, then wanting that next hit. And she did intensive outpatient, and then she's in a year-long program. And we constantly talk about it to make sure it's still in the forefront. And it was just... That's really scary. yeah she has a car accident she had three spinal surgeries i mean and how do you tell your kid they're in pain and no they can't have anything else they have to deal you know it's amazing as

you you give birth to your child you never expect when you're holding them that this is going to be something that you're you're dealing with but it sounds to me like you as a mom are

day one when they gave her that prescription for that medication i tried to control it because i knew my kid i knew i had the fear this the addiction on both sides of the family was so strong and you were worried i was trying to control it from the beginning yeah and it's just it just gets away from you and you just you don't have to you don't you see it but you don't see it and you try to in in my attempt to try to control it i was actually enabling her wow you know and it was but now like i said she'll on the 19th she'll be a year i couldn't be prouder that's amazing and we celebrated front row at jelly roll

what a perfect artist

one year clean and he was just amazing and i couldn't be prouder of the young woman she starts a new job in january and but it was just let her know that we're proud of her too

i texted her get on mojo now yeah we're proud of you um i don't want i don't want to give her her name out but you know who this is you know this is your mom yeah yeah and you gotta give

him tough love man you do tough love but a lot of love with the same amount of toughness you know

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