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All righty, it's Mojo in the morning. It's sad news. Kevin, your uncle died. Your uncle passed away? Yeah, my mom's brother, Uncle Paul, passed away over the weekend. Oh, man. Was he sick?

Yeah, I believe he had cancer. Oh, man. So my mom called me. Was it Friday or Saturday? Obviously, if you listen to the show, you know I haven't been feeling that well. Just a lot of phlegm, a lot of mucus. So it was really hitting me on Friday night. And then my mom called me and was like, we all at the hospital. they just rushed uncle paul in and then um i think she called me a few hours later was like yeah he passed away and um yeah pretty sad pretty sad how's your mom doing uh she's really concerned about her mom my grandma grandmama yeah she's 95 years old and now her son died and um you always hear how like you never want to be a parent that has to bury their child and um yesterday we all went over to my grandma house after church and um her uh her sisters were over there his daughters were there my mom and everybody was just over there and it was like that real moment of like seeing my grandma we got into a circle we all prayed and then while we were in the circle you know people started going around the room and started kind of saying you know what uncle paul meant to them and moments they shared and just looking at my grandma who's like the poster child for what a matriarch and a family is like and she's just the her nickname is pit because she's like a pit bull like she's just she's just a strong five foot two lady that's just been there for everybody and she's still strong to this to this moment i know she'll have her moments where you know she'll cry probably when nobody's watching but just to be in that circle man and And that's where my kind of pain comes from is more so like my grandma, again, 95 years old, having to bury her son. Or my two cousins, his daughters, Brandy and Elena, who Auntie Bobby, their mom passed away like two years ago. Now their dad passed away. My mom losing her only brother, like that type of thing. So hearing everybody talk about what Uncle Paul meant to them, that was hard.

Prayers to your family. Is there a funeral coming up here? You guys have a funeral?

Yeah, I mean, yesterday they were trying. I'm probably going to get a eulogy. my mom was trying to talk about that but uh nobody was really trying to fast forward and have that conversation it was more so like let's just spend this time together yeah and looking through photo albums and cherishing his life and talking about all of that i find it interesting

uh um i've had a number of friends who's had deaths in their families and i've been asking lately i'm like because you know i i you know you want to pay your respects and go to wakes and things like that or their funerals and I was uh uh last couple of friends lost one buddy lost his mom another guy uh lost his uncle like you did and I'm like uh you got funerals planned and they're like yeah sometime this summer we'll do something and I'm like and they're like doing their daily life and not uh and not doing like a funeral right away and I'm and I'm in my uh In my traditional faith, which is Catholic, usually a person dies, it's within like a week, they'll have a wake or two days of a wake and then they'll have the funeral and you have it within right away. Everybody nowadays is kind of like holding off and they're like, yeah, you know, we'll do it when it's convenient. We're kind of all busy right now. And I'm not saying that that's what you guys are doing because I don't know what you guys are doing. But isn't that weird? Like when I die, I want people's worlds to stop.

You want the stock market to crash I want I want radio to go silent

The app is down No, no, no Let me just say this to you If I die and it's during the lion season I get you're not going to have my funeral on a Sunday At 1 o'clock in the afternoon But for God's sakes Don't wait until the season's over with And go through the entire 16 game season

You know what I mean? I think people in our family who passed away it's never been more than two weeks and two weeks is like the latest and what even two weeks because

i i can't remember who the heck died recently that it was that they died and then there wasn't they were trying to get everybody into town for her funeral and so i had i think i had said to my mom i'm like well it's not gonna be an open casket at that point like she's getting cremated right and she's like oh no it's oh no that can't she's not gonna look good no they have to if

That's the case. She smells like a raisin. They are burning that body, and they are putting it in an ashtray.

But they didn't. But they didn't. That's what I'm saying. I didn't know that you could do it for that long. You can't keep a body that long. You probably can't. It was me a week and a half. But still.

Call Tom, the funeral director guy that calls us up all the time. I want to know what the longest a body can last.

Listen, they got new fluids out now. New fluids. I'm telling you, bro. There's no way.

I still think it is such a weird cultural thing that we do. I say this every time we talk about a funeral, that we put makeup on a dead person and we all just stand around and look at them in a box. That is, it's just the weirdest thing to me. You got to put makeup on. I feel like decades from now, we're going to, like, you know, back, did you ever learn in history class back in like the Victorian days, they would take family portraits. They would sit the dead person up and the family would all gather around and they would like take one last portrait. Oh yeah. That's so flipping weird. And I feel like decades from now, they're going to be like, and they, they made up the person in their favorite outfit with their makeup and put them in a box and everybody came and stared at them oh oh it's creepy you ever kiss them on the cheek pleat oh um no i think i like rubbed my both of my grandma's hands and maybe that was it but even then you're like huh my

brother uh reached in and grabbed my mom's hand and the funeral director uh mr quinlan looked like he was gonna kill my brother why well because i think that they don't want you like to move you know they have it all nicely put in that's my mama she had her rosary beads in her hand and all that stuff they'd be like get out of that thing people like people get so emotional and my mom's my mom's wake my aunt pat almost jumped in the freaking casket for god's sake oh she was crazy and she was nuts i i will say this to you though it when when any of us die we got to make katrina do our makeup like she does for our pictures hold on uh tom the funeral guy is on with us right now funeral home tom tommy there yeah which one i'm gonna do what's what's the longest that uh that a body can last we're talking about when somebody dies like don't they have to have a funeral within a certain amount of days like a body can't last months can it well his body's properly embalmed

and properly prepped um we can call a couple weeks probably really a couple of weeks yeah

tom where do you guys store the body is it like in the same place that nordstrom stores their

layaway or what where is it at no no no and when they're being stored they own a refrigerated unit until they're prepped once they're prepped well a lot of michigan states that at 48 hours after The body has to be embalmed or prepped unless it's refrigerated.

Tom, quick question for you, Tom. Is that same refrigerated unit the place that you put your ham sandwich when you come in to work with your lunchbox?

No, no. We have an off-site location. He's a professional. It's all regulated by the state. You can't. You can't. There's a lot of regulations.

He's very, by the way, Tom is very professional. I like to know that. I like to know that the silliness of listening to the show doesn't make him go down that path.

Tom, when you talk about embalming, has the fluids changed over the years, or are we still using the same fluids that we've always used?

No, they've changed over the years. You know, like anything else, you have different fluids that, you know, do different things. It all depends, too, everyone. You know, you have to remember, if you passed and you had a long illness, you're not going to prep as well as that.

you died like suddenly or something. Tom, Tom, these people, like especially the ladies, they have like a lot of filler in their face. Do they just naturally look, they need less fluid because they already got stuff in there? No, you still need the same amount. It's a procedure. You have to go by weight. You have to go by, you know, there's a lot of different factors that factor into a good eating when you're embalming.

Bigger bodies need more fluid. Correct. How much will I need, Tom? I'll probably need a lot. I don't know. I really don't know. Not as much as you would have six months ago. Tom, just put some old Zempick in me before. Hey, real quick. If Tom, if my wife should bring my body in, make sure that I get a good hairdresser and somebody good to make me look good, all right? Put some good clothes in.

We'll make you look great.

Thank you, Tom. I appreciate you, buddy.

Do you want me to tickle you, Mojo?

No, don't.

Tom have you ever had a body come back to life No that's never happened I have some people that think that You know you could regenerate Your body after a certain amount of years But it's never happened Not that technology yet

Okay alright Tom the funeral man Thank you Tom I appreciate you buddy

Thank you guys

See you on the other side Tom was always very He was always so, you know, professional until the tickle thing came out of him. What's up, Jamie? Hi.

My father-in-law wanted to be buried in Alabama. Yeah. My husband was not ready to say goodbye when it happened. Oh, God. So his asses are still sitting in my bedroom. In the bedroom? It's been up to seven years. Why in the bedroom? They're in my closet. I'm telling you. Because that's where he feels he's closest to him.

Shani's granny is still in my dad's basement.

That's unreal.

And I still have a 12-foot utility trailer of all my father-in-law's stuff.

Oh, wow. You guys, the families that don't lay your family member to rest aren't going by their wishes. Their wishes were that they wanted to be spread or to have their ashes buried somewhere, and you guys aren't doing it. They're going to come back and haunt you. What's up, Rachel?

hi how are you guys we're good rachel what's going on good so there's actually some cultures out there that will actually embalm their deceased posed up like standing up with like drinks like they're at a party or my god i want to know those cultures i want to be there i want an old-fashioned in my hand you can see it's crazy

Seriously, Rachel, I'm going to be right here in the Planet Fitness studios.

I'll make sure they put an old fashioned in your hand.

Please do that for me. That actually would be my kind of thing. Like I want to if I die in, you know, I want Chelsea to rent out the library pub and put me in the third booth from the end. You've got to Google this. Penny, what's going on?

Well, I wanted to tell, like, a funny, morbid funeral story about my great aunt. Oh, good.

I love funny, morbid. What's going on?

Okay, so my great aunt passed away a few years ago. And first off, my family is unhinged. They're crazy. But my aunt ran the funeral, and they didn't want to pay for a casket for the viewing. So they pulled my aunt out on, like, a hospital stretcher gurney. like the funeral home had her on that and then my uncle shows up with his pit bull and says oh it's a service dog and it clearly was not a service dog so this dog is running around the funeral home and then they go up to like view my aunt's body and the dog jumps on the gurney and my aunt almost falls down oh my god yeah and then my uncle was yelling about his dog running around because he wouldn't control it. And then so my aunt and my uncle started getting a fight in the funeral home. It was a mess.

Your poor aunt can't even rest in peace because you guys are too cheap to get her a casket, for God's sakes.

Yeah, yeah, it was insane. It was the craziest funeral I've ever been to.

Oh, my God. And did the poor lady have any money? Like, did she die and leave money to people? Because that's the money they should have used.

No, she was just an old lady who was like, Her name was Crazy Aunt Sharon

Did it say that Wait did it say that on the mask card

She just had I mean she wasn't crazy She just had some mental issues

That's alright

And her kids were crazy

and so everybody crazy dog crazy crazy crazy crazy unreal hey Devin what's up

they just let you have a great hi my dad actually passed away

I'm sorry what's that your dad what

actually passed away this morning oh my god I'm sorry yeah they're they're not knowing when to plan the funeral they're thinking probably about a month from now oh jeez It's because my mom needs money to, like, save up for it, stuff like that. They're actually doing, like, a go-fund me for it.

Was it a sudden death or had he been ill?

He's been sick for two years now, and he's been, like, fighting and fighting. Oh, man, I'm so sorry. But he's been in the hospital for, like, a month now.

Oh, jeez. Well, listen, man, we're very, very sorry. We're sad to hear that, that he passed, buddy. I hope that you're okay.

My prayers, bro. I'm trying. We're trying to get through it.

I mean, I hope listening to the show gives you a little bit of laughter this morning. You know, on a day that's really a tough one.

Absolutely amazing. And help me every morning get through multiple things.

All right. Well, what's your dad's first name? Wesley. All right. We're doing this one for him today. Thanks for calling, man. I apologize that you had to deal with this. It's very, very sad. We'll say a prayer for you, and Cav will say a prayer for your uncle and all of his family. Those are the people that die are the ones that are good ones. They don't know how to deal with all the crap that we've got to deal with right now. You know what I mean? They're going to a better place. But it's all the family that's left behind that's the ones that've got to pick up the pieces and try to go on with their lives.

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Hey everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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