Muse

The first season of the X Games League is ending in New Orleans, and only one team walks away champion. July 24th through 26th at the Caesars Superdome, watch the world's best skaters, BMX riders, and moto athletes battle for the title. Plus, live performances from Metro Boomin', JID, Subtronics, and Bunt. Three days of sport and music. Get your tickets now at xgames.com.

Hey, Portlandia fans.

Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, A-O, Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Summer is here, which means we all want to look and feel our best. A GLP-1 may be right for you. Visit orderlymeds.com to learn more about which GLP-1 you could be eligible for. Getting started is fast, easy, and happens virtually through telemedicine from licensed professionals. Check it out for yourself. Go to orderlymeds.com slash podcast. That's orderlymeds.com slash podcast. Taking care of yourself feels great. Comp added medications are not FDA approved. Deligibility required and determined by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary. See website for details.

At Reynolds Lake Oconee, life moves at your pace. On the course, on the water, and everywhere in between. Come live your Sunday. Every day. Explore membership and real estate opportunities by booking a lifestyle visit at ReynoldsLakeOconee.com slash discover.

Hey, good morning. Good morning. All of us here. Spike, Shannon, myself, Mojo, Megan, Mike. We've got Reese, KP, Lydia, and Katie. Good to have you guys here. Our phone number is 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548. Text is 95500. Your home of the phone scams, the War of the Roses, and the Dirty on the 30. We got them all this morning. You know what? I got a couple of stories here that I just wanted to bring up because I was, during our last song, kind of looking at what's in the news, and I found these stories, and I thought these were pretty interesting. Who falls in love faster, a man or a woman? Who would you think?

Men.

Men? We're asking Megan. I actually say men, too.

Wow. That was so disrespectful. Megan. I can't have an opinion on love.

No, but that's actually- I've never been in love.

People have never loved me What's your point?

But actually that's kind of a nice That's something very nice you said about us men That we like to fall in love

I've never said I love you first

Oh really? Ever? Why? Because you're Are you afraid that they won't You know reciprocate?

No I just was never at that point Really?

Can I tell you something? I've always said I love you first

That's my point Is it during sex? Or is it to get sex?

You know what? Honestly, I've said it during, but most men know that they are in love after just one date, believe it or not. For the women, it takes three to four dates for them to figure out whether or not they think that they can love that person.

So you gave me crap and I was right?

No, you're absolutely right. But I find it interesting because most people feel like guys are not commitment people. You know what I mean? That they don't want to commit.

Oh, love and commitment is not the same thing. But did you see the video that I feel like I've been seeing a lot on TikTok of the girl who said it is very dependent on timing for guys when it comes to them being in love and getting married, that they marry the girl who's in front of them at the time they decide that they're ready to get married? Whether she's the love of his life or not, the minute a guy decides, okay, I'm financially and emotionally ready to get married, whomever he's dating at that time is the girl. Wow. Shannon, that makes so much sense. I'll pull the video because my friends and I were talking about it and whether or not it's true.

That's interesting. I want to ask this of KP and Lydia.

and Reese, and Megan, you just made the cut on that, by the way. Oh, thank you.

I'm so glad I get to participate in today's show.

No, the rest of us are just maybe past the age level for this.

Oh, now you're calling me old.

No, I called you young enough to be in that group.

No, he actually called me old. This is fun. This is a fun show.

They are saying that people who are between the ages of 20 years old to 31 years old, you just made the cut. All right?

I love that we're roasting him.

He's roasting me.

He started this. He started this.

Wow, she's cranky like an old person. According.

Why is everybody trying to fight me? I did literally nothing today. Megan, I love you.

I came back to give you hugs today. I hate that. Ready for this? According to a survey of those between the ages of 18 to 31 years old, a majority of women say that they would be fine with receiving or giving an engagement ring that doesn't have a diamond. that a one in five millennials would be open to tying the knot permanently with a tattoo ring instead of even a ring from a jewelry store. And that if there was no diamond at all, or if it was something else, like maybe it was just like a band or some people even have done watches before. Have you heard about that? Some people will actually do engagement watches with each other or wrist bands that people make for charities and things like that. Sometimes people will actually get the rubber bracelets. Would you guys or do you guys want rings?

KP?

I don't have headphones.

You don't need it. We're all here in the room.

Can you not hear me talking? Megan said something, sorry. No, no. I feel like people are becoming less traditional. So not having a ring is like, I feel like that's why people aren't.

But what about you?

I would want a ring, I think.

You want a ring?

I don't care about the size of the ring and, like, a bunch of bling on it. I'm very minimal with what I would want.

Lydia, what do you want? What do you want there?

Oh, give me that rock. Put that rock on my finger.

By the way, I want to talk about Lydia here in a second because Lydia, I heard, got together with her ex-boyfriend over break.

Ooh.

We're going to have to figure out what that is. Maybe that's what she's talking about. Maybe she's putting out the word to him if he's listening to the show right now.

Yeah, I did read an article, though, that said the millennials are falling out of favor with the expensive diamond rings, the traditional engagement rings. For them, it's more about what it looks like and more sentimental value than it is about a big diamond.

Megan, rock or no rock?

So the reasonable part of me wants to be like, love is love, and it doesn't matter if you get anything. It's about the person and the commitment to each other. But if I'm being honest, I think I get jealous when I see girls walking around with beautiful jewelry that I think that I will never get. So I can understand the appeal because I do think, especially when it's new, it makes girls feel prettier. Like it makes you feel loved and appreciated and special. And I do understand wanting that feeling. But I'm also, I love that rings are becoming more unique. so you can change the color. I feel like when I look at my parents' age group, everybody has the same wedding ring. So it's nice to see some variety.

No, I agree with you. I think that there is something cool to the fact that there's an indication of, hey, we're engaged. Or there's like, hey, look at that. We got engaged. Let me show you the thing. Because everybody always looks right away. Let me see your hand. But it doesn't have to be a traditional looking ring or something that, like you said, looks like your parents' ring. What's up, Erin? You wanted to comment on one of these stories?

Yes. I believe that women fall in love faster than men because I'm going through a divorce, and my ex-wife already has a new boyfriend, and the divorce isn't even finalized.

So based on your study of one. She was fast. I'm sorry, buddy. How long after divorce?

We started divorce in November, and she's already got a new boyfriend.

Holy cow.

And it won't be finalized until June.

You don't think she might have already had the boyfriend, do you?

I don't know, but it just sucks.

How long did you go through your divorce? I know you said it was November. Did you say finalized in November or started in November? Are you finalized?

Started in November.

Oh, you're not even finalized. Oh, wow. Well, whenever that happens and you see that those people sometimes I think either they had somebody ahead of time or had them while you guys were still together or they're just going to race into another relationship and cause for issues.

They need to have a little bit of a breather time. Cool enough, period. Sam, what's up?

I most definitely think men fall in love first. They just don't ever like to admit it.

That's true. They're too macho to admit it, probably.

Oh, absolutely. Think about it. When the girl says, I love you first, the man responds back with, I love you too. Obviously, they were in love, weren't they? So why can't they admit it first?

Yeah, no, that's true. Can I tell you what I did? And it still took me eight years to propose to my wife, but the second date I had with my wife, I didn't tell her that my mom was coming into town, and we got dinner. It was my birthday weekend, and I told my mom when she went to the bathroom, I said, there's something different about her. She's different than all the rest of the girls. I think I'm in love. So immediately, my mom was like, sure, you are. Sure, you are. Whatever you say, Mike. And I ended up marrying her, but it took me eight years. I never told her that right then.

Wow, so you told your mom, but you didn't tell her.

Well, Mike, you're a retired F-boy, right?

Yes. That's why mom wasn't buying the story.

Hi, Tony. What's up? You want to talk about the engagement rings? Yes.

Good morning. Morning. What's going on? My husband, well, my now husband, he knew the requirements, but he was dating me, that a big, gaudy ring was required. Did you send him your Pinterest? It was required. We had a conversation early on. And I don't know why, but I was one of those kids always at Walmart buying, like, the fake, like, cheap big bling jewelry. So I had my wedding ring picked out for years. And so on one of our, probably our third date, I showed them, like, hey, just so you know, if you want to keep this around, this is required.

I like it. Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

That's right. He lived up to the expectation. He did a really good job.

Good.

Good.

Lydia, I want to know what's going on with this guy. So Lydia, over the holiday break, came over to our house. We had to do some wrap-up on breaking and entering Christmas wish and do some last-minute wishes, sending them out during the holidays to some people that really needed checks and needed the ability to be able to keep their power on during the holidays. So she came over to the house, and then we ordered dinner and hung out there. And Chelsea was asking you questions, and I was asking you questions. and one of them was about this boyfriend of yours. You saw him over the Christmas break? Ex-boyfriend. This was my ex-boyfriend. Yes. Yeah. The guy that broke your heart, right? Because we talked about him before. You don't want to say his name.

I feel like if I say his name, should I say it? No, you don't have to.

Let's call him, let's call him ex.

You know what I call him to my therapist? Yeah. I call him gas station guy. Oh, let's call him.

I like that. Wait, is that a Chaldean thing? Gas station guy?

Does he own a gas station? He owns a gas station guy.

Yeah, let's call him gas station guy.

But this is the guy that texts the show all the time when we talk about you.

Wait, why do you not call his name to your therapist?

I even call that to my friends.

Oh, do you do? Okay, all right.

So we don't have a name.

Background, how long did you guys date?

We dated probably for about, okay, we've been on and off since like 2017, 2018. Oh, wow, okay.

And then when did you last break up?

We broke up, I want to say in August. Okay.

And then Shannon said he occasionally will text the show about you. He does.

Yeah. Yeah, he does text the show. I didn't even see those.

Does he text in his gas station guy?

No.

No.

No. Okay. What does he say in the text?

He'll just comment. Like, if we're doing a topic with Lydia or about Lydia, he always comments, and it's always kind. Yeah. Like, he never has anything bad to say about you.

No, because we're best friends.

Right.

We're still best friends.

Is this the one that Mojo met at your party?

Yes, he did.

Oh. Good-looking guy.

Yep.

Yeah.

Okay.

so you guys get along and you were together over the break what happened so we went to go see

holiday lights and then after holiday lights we exchanged gifts because we both agreed i guess that we were going to get each other something for christmas because you're best friends yes and um we were sitting in the car he was about to drop me off and i mentioned maybe getting back together so previously before that he has told me yeah maybe we should get back together and i've been the one that's like no i don't think so well flash forward to now i mentioned getting back together with him, and he said, I don't think it's the right time. What? Yeah. It's the right time. And I was

feeling offended. So he was on board earlier, but not now. What change does he have? A girlfriend he's not telling you about? I don't know.

That's what I'm kind of like. Let's call a gas station

guy. Where's his phone number at? Let's get a gas station guy on. Is he working right now? No, he's at home. Okay, because I was going to say, you ever go into a gas station and the guy's on the phone when you're trying to buy something? It's so annoying.

Every time. Like, I just want a lottery ticket.

Okay, but usually most of my Chaldean buddies that own like gas stations like the Shell station of that They got the ear pieces and I don't even know they're talking to somebody. Yeah, you know, so

Seriously perplexed by that because

that is like mega mixed signals to me that he came to your party you guys exchange gifts you hang out together all the time he sends these incredibly beautiful texts about you yeah and

i don't buy it all day every day no i don't buy it so what do you think what do you think that he respects you as someone who's like trying to get into her career and stuff and like doesn't want

to ruin it really he's comfortable i think he's comfortable yeah a lot of guys in this generation Like the situationships They don't want to do the commitment But they want the girl around

But if another guy came And asked you on a date He would freak the F out Game over That's you

What's up You gotta be our stunt guy

To make him jealous

Poor Reese Wait he did say something about that

Yesterday he said something about that He's like oh I see you wished Reese a happy birthday Oh he did Yeah he did

He gets jealous No the last thing I need is another person on me After Rhonda

and i don't need this guy now so okay so this is different than our generation isn't it because we didn't want to be friend zoned so she's saying these guys just like the situationship and hanging out we just wanted the physical first didn't we can i yeah you're absolutely right

but can i tell you something though this might be different culturally too because and i might have to ask our chaldean friends of this one our our chaldean guys like they sometimes sometimes chaldean guys don't rate like girls don't chaldean girls don't date a lot no right well they did they do but they just secretly they just don't tell their parents about it but maybe he's not at that age where he wants to settle down so he's trying to keep you kind of hanging there but it's weird most of my chaldean guy friends once they hit that age where

they got to get married boom they like that's what i just said yeah that's exactly what i just Here's my thing. I've already met his mom. That's a big deal. Then you should be in a relationship.

Do you think he's doing this with other girls too, though? No. Not if he introduced her to his mom because he's not going to introduce a bunch of girls to his mom.

Now he says labels are for other people. It's not for us.

What does that mean? We need to know.

I liked him so much until this conversation.

He's going to feel so sad. I wonder if he's listening.

I love gas station guy. 844-MOJO-LIVE 844-665-6548 or text 95500. By the way, for the people in Toledo and Grand Rapids that don't know what a Chaldean is, Chaldeans are Iraqi Catholics. They're predominant in the Detroit area. Lydia is one. They're great people. The guys sometimes. Unfairly gorgeous. Yeah, the girls are gorgeous. The guys, whatever. You know, whatever. But they're tough and they're nice and, you know, whatever. And this guy, by the way, has a full head of hair. Let me tell you that. Most of my Chaldean buddies.

Real hair or hair from Turkey?

No, it's his real hair. He's never had it. And he's right.

What? Legitimate question. He's got great. No, she's right. A lot of Chaldean guys get their hair from Turkey.

This guy has great hair. He's got a great beard. He's a good looking guy. He's got kind of a croft chin. He's got like one of those. What's that? He's got like a. Pointy?

He's handsome.

Yeah, he's got a handsome. He's got like, you know what he's got? He's got like a movie star chin. He's got one of those movie star chins.

Can you send me a photo?

Yeah, I'll send you a picture of that. Okay, so people are saying that I should call from rosesbloom.com. Ooh, let's do that. Not to catch him as a cheater, but just to see where he would send a romantic, you know, a dozen red roses.

Yeah.

Please. I think he would know. Would he know my voice? Yeah, he would. He would know.

Dang it.

Can we call him up? Do you have his phone number, or do you not want to do that?

I can call him up. Let's see if he'll answer.

Dial up, yeah, your phone.

Let me go see. Let me see if I can.

All right. So minus the mom thing, though. This sounds like all things I would have said back in the day. Oh, I don't want to put a label on it. I don't want to put a label on it. And I would be talking to other girls, too.

But you knew you were in love with Allie.

Well, that was a long... I'm talking before Allie.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking way before Allie.

Okay. Because I know you and Allie broke up for a hot tech in third. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this was... I mean, when I was not the greatest human being in the entire world, like, these are lines I would have said to a girl just so I didn't feel bad for going out and do other stuff.

I love this texter. This texter says, hey, Mojo, you should find another Chaldean guy to be Lydia's stunt boyfriend. Take a bunch of pictures, show them all out in places, and we'll see gas station guy put a ring on that fast. That's actually an interesting one. Because you know what it is? Not that, Reese, you're not a good-looking guy. You are. But a guy like Reese goes out with Lydia. Okay, you can tell that they're in the friend zone. They're friends. You get another good-looking Chaldean guy. Like we find somebody You have so many Chaldean friends I got a million of them I got a ton I seriously Honorary Chaldean over here I'm gonna Call Martin Manor I'm gonna call up a Kuzar George

You guys know everybody

Yeah A Sarafa Or a Manor And I'm gonna

Ask them to, you know, give me one of your nephews or somebody. We're going to get Lydia out on about. Okay, we're calling him up. We're calling up gas station guy right now. Are you putting him on? Is it ringing? Here, put it on hold. Let me see if I can pick up that.

Oh, is he not going to answer?

Wait, let's call up his gas station. Do you got his gas station's number? No, she said he's home. Oh, he's at home. Let's call up the gas station and talk to whoever he works for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Come on.

Pressure is on. Pick up the phone. Tell us the phrase that pays and you win $1,000. He's not going to answer.

Does he let you have candy for free?

Chaldean first, he's got to see which of his three phones is ringing.

Slim Jims? Yeah.

He gives you Slim Jim. Does he? Wait, question for you. Do you get to fill up for free?

No.

Really?

He's never offered that to me, ever.

Really? Yeah. Well, it's because money's got to come somewhere, right?

That's all accounted for.

Is it a family gas station? So maybe, I don't know. It is, yeah. By the way, how great would it be if your family owned a gas station or like a grocery store?

I'd date him for the gas.

i'd gate him i'd date him just so that i'd gate him i'd gate him that's exactly i'd so i could actually pick what you put on the bathroom key like the you know there's always something attached to the bathroom there's like a tchotchke yeah i'd put mojo in the morning logos on the on the bathroom keys uh lady i'm sorry but it doesn't look like we're gonna get much out of this whole thing uh i'm also sorry too that uh well look at some of these chaldean texters there they're texting in saying people are saying that Lydia you are too beautiful to put up with this it is time for you to move on we should do a Lydia dating game oh you know what would be funny maybe an arranged marriage what do you think about that I'll pass no okay all right you don't trust me Charles what's going on this is the most thirstiest conversation I've heard

At the beginning of the year Yes Mojo was talking about this guy As if he was going to date him Like he came from the heavens

Well, I told you He's a little dreamy I mean, he's, you know He's got that That beautiful beard And the beautiful head of hair I actually, to be honest with you Didn't think he was Chaldean Because he's one of those Chaldean guys, Charles That looks just like a white dude He just looks like a regular dude Yeah, like I even asked you, Lydia I'm like, Lydia No wonder why you're not Telling your dad about this guy

Wait, let me see. Oh, here. I'm going to show you. Yeah.

So you have to keep him away from Mojo then. Yeah. Keep him away.

What do you think about the idea of doing the Lydia dating game?

I feel like you shouldn't tap with people in relationships. Yeah. You know? What do you think? With all the water roses, I do so. I mean, let her get a feel for the guy. Then bring him up to the show and then throw him on air.

Have you ever listened to this show? You just told Mojo not to get involved in people's relationships?

Charles, do you think that he'll come around?

I think eventually, yeah But I don't know how Caldean man works I don't know how man works in general

Shannon's looking at his photo Giving him a 9 out of 10 Well, she just said rate him

Yeah, I wanted her to rate him

It's 9 out of 10 See, I told you He's a good looking guy Yeah, not bad Alright, to be continued

That's all I can say The first season of the X Games League is ending in new orleans and only one team walks away champion july 24 through 26 at the caesar superdome watch the world's best skaters bmx riders and moto athletes battle for the title plus live performances from metro booming jid subtronics and bunt three days of sport and music get your tickets now at xgames.com

Hey, Portlandia fans.

Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, A-O Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts. or wherever you get your podcasts. My first guest is Paris Hilton, Shakira, Luke, and Yerin. We have surprises. Many surprises. Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group check comes to life. What the hell? You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's lemonade. This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

on all industry news listen to raiders of the lost podcast on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and for more follow at raiders of the lost podcast and at tiktok podcast network on tiktok