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Mojo in the morning show. Lydia.

Ooh, you remember I existed. How could I forget? Yeah, I mean, you did forget me on the last topic and the first one.

No, your topic needs more time, Lydia. I didn't want to knock you out in just eight minutes. We wanted to give you some space. I don't want to treat you like your other friend. You know what I mean? I got respect for you.

Well, you already have, so. I got respect for you. This mojo doesn't forget me.

Well, add me to the list, man. What's going on? You were telling us about your friends.

Yeah, so I'm throwing a, like, camping birthday trip. And by camping, I mean glamping. So we're staying in, like, a nice, sorry, wow. We're staying in a nice Airbnb in Traverse City. Oh. And I let all my friends know who said that they were coming, that it would be a certain dollar amount. They all agreed to come. So I put all this money down on this Airbnb just to recently hear that five of them out of 10 of them have backed out. So now I have to foot the bill of this entire Airbnb because, I mean, they're not coming anymore. So I can't ask them to pay for their portion.

Wait, that's super crappy, though. It is. When is this trip? Like, how far in advance are we talking here?

It's mid-September. And I invited everybody at the end of June, beginning of July.

So they had time to plan.

Yeah, well, there's a few friends who have, like, justified reasons.

Yeah, that's my question. Well, I mean, you just said it, but...

You said a few justified. What are the other ones who don't have justified reasons? Why can't they come?

Some of them don't get along with other girls that are coming, but have lied to me and told me other reasons. I have other friends who are saying like they have prior obligations, but it doesn't make sense because you agreed to coming. But then when I threw everybody in a group chat, it seemed like afterwards when they were like, oh my God, this person's coming and this person's coming. They were like, yeah, no, no, no.

Is that a good enough reason to not go on a trip? Like you're going on a trip to support Lydia, right? To support your friends. So I would think that that would be the focus is to support Lydia, not necessarily who else is going to be there regardless of how they may make me feel that's

not going to stop me from going to support my I mean unless there's like a huge issue but if that were the case I would have hoped that they would have asked beforehand is so-and-so coming just knowing that

it would make them feel uncomfortable for an entire weekend and not give Lydia the yes so that she would go ahead and pick an Airbnb that, like, can you switch your Airbnb at this point?

No, because then I lose half of what I've already put down. So I'm like, okay, well, either way, I'm going to have to lose out on half of the money. Because that's a lot of money.

It is. If it's an Airbnb for 10 people, that's not a cheap Airbnb.

And now there's five of us staying in it. So it feels like we're just having a free-for-all.

so are you still gonna charge the friends that backed out or are you just gonna i guess pay the

money i've decided not to do that like i've decided not to charge them even though i feel like some of them i should because i've had to ask them multiple times like they saw texts in the group chat avoided responding to tell me they weren't coming and then like this past week or past couple of weeks after they've seen so many of my texts they've said yeah you know what i can't make it and i feel like that's just it's rude it's like i invite all my friends over for gatherings they all want to come but then the second you know i ask for them to all get together somewhere else or go on a trip it's a yes until it's a no yeah i wonder if our listeners have have ever

dealt with a situation like this 844 mojo live 844-665-6548 call us and tell us if you've been in a situation similar to lydia where you make plans with people and then either at the last minute or a month before when it's money on the line these people either back out come with some bs reason or they say they're not coming because of someone else that they don't like is coming

that's what should lydia do in this situation i feel like the nice thing for the friends to do that are backing out is to at least pay her half yeah like half of what to help with because that's a lot of cost for lydia to incur that's crazy when you've said yes up until now to the point where she can't cancel it any longer and now you're putting her in a situation that you know

is binding and costly and not giving her enough time to figure things out because it's not like you can just backfill friends to be like oh hey i'm doing something in a month or two because your birthday is not that far away right no it's on september 15th yeah it's completely change your plans around in less than a month to ask somebody to come. That's terrible, man. I need different friends. Also, Lydia, my

feelings would be kind of hurt. Are your feelings kind of hurt?

I mean, my feelings hurt. I wasn't invited. She's charging full price.

Like whatever they accepted to pay in the beginning, they should pay that straight up.

Alright, let's see. Let's see what Amanda says. Amanda, do you agree with Kaji? Should they pay full price?

i do think they should pay full price this just happened with my fiance and his bachelor party he had a couple people drop out like in the beginning and he was able to spot for other friends and like the one guy had a valid reason his wife was having a baby yeah so very valid But he had a couple people try and drop like a few weeks before and he was like, no, I'm sorry, you have to still pay because you can't find anybody else and otherwise he wouldn't have had to pay all of that.

So did they pay? Because it's very hard to force somebody to pay you.

They did. I think there were one of the guys that had some feelings about it, like he didn't really want to. but they were paying like $300 and they didn't let him know until like three weeks before.

That's terrible. That is absolutely terrible.

So he was like, either you guys pay or I pay for both of you. Like, why did you say you could come? And especially for those girls that are like, Oh, well I don't like so-and-so. That's not a valid enough reason. Put your feelings aside to celebrate your friend that you're going there. Exactly.

And obviously, sometimes people make emotional decisions where everybody loves a good party and especially when you're drinking. Hey, we're going to go here. Sometimes you agree without thinking, but this isn't going to lunch. This is you're going out of town. You're your future husband. This is a bachelor party. This is a big event. This isn't let's go to lunch on Tuesday. I can just send a text message and back out of it. It's not that it's not that easy of a decision. Hey, Becky, good morning. You had a similar situation, Lydia.

Oh, yes. And September 10th, I prepaid a Vegas trip. Three people backed out. Oh.

Wow. So what did you end up doing so that you weren't footing the bill for that whole thing?

I did foot the bill. They just backed out last minute. And the trip is in two weeks.

Oh, no.

Did they give valid reasons? As soon as I wanted to collect. They backed out.

Did they give reasons for backing out that you felt were valid or were they kind of BS reasons?

BS.

That's terrible. Now, how do you...

My bad because they do it all the time. I should have known better.

So how do you deal with these people moving forward? Because if I'm in Lydia's situation, these are my quote-unquote friends, yet they do me dirty. How do you handle that situation?

i don't think i will handle it at all and just back off that's probably best because at the end

of the day it's not about the money for me it's the respect like you don't respect me and that's

what it's giving yeah it is sam good morning say sam good morning can you hear me oh hi yes i can yeah you've been in this situation before i have been in this situation so many times Wow, and what's happened?

My friend has finally figured it out. Lydia, I love you, but you should have put everybody in the group chat from the beginning. Wait, it sounds like she did. I'm a busy person. I work multiple jobs. My time is very valuable and very important. I love my friends, but I just don't have the time to spend a whole weekend with people that I don't want to be around.

Wait, slow down, Sam. So are you saying Lydia is at fault in some capacity as it pertains to everybody knowing who's going to be on the trip?

Yes, from the beginning. Then people can stand accordingly from very initial planning. Okay. Interesting.

Okay, I do see that's a fair point. Bianca, were you in? She's answering phones, so I know she can't. I think she...

Was everybody in there? No, go ahead. Lydia's here. Go ahead. What was the question?

Was everybody in the group text from the very beginning so that everybody could see who was going from the gaggo?

So I asked them all separately. Then once everybody said yes, and then I put them in that group chat.

Okay, did you hear her comment?

So, Lydia, Sam is saying where you went wrong in that aspect is before people commit, they should know who's all going on the trip.

They should ask that then. i shouldn't have to be like yeah this is these are the people that are saying they're coming because now there's the people who are not coming anymore so it just looks messy because i've had to remove people from group chats and add people to group chats it's just you know i think yeah

they could have saved you from a really rough weekend sure you should have everyone pay you first and then you bought the airbnb they'd be like surprise let's hear brian hey brian let's

Let's add your voice to the conversation, my man.

Hey, first time, long time.

Brian is on the phone.

Hey, Brian. I don't really have, like, a personal situation, but I was just telling Lydia, it's so hard for people to put their pride aside, especially you don't know their financial situation and her having to put the bill for it.

Oh, okay. yeah i understand i get that but at that point if we're truly friends then i should be able to have that conversation with my friend and say hey this is my situation absolutely i would never judge

anybody for their financial circumstances and i think all of my friends know that yeah i don't

know why it's so hard for people just like hey i don't get along with this guy here's half and just

move on yeah and especially if i love my friend like if the relationship with my friend is as strong as I believe it sounds like these relationships were with Lydia inviting them up then it shouldn't matter who else is there I'm there to support Lydia I can put my little grievances aside from a weekend and support my friend at least that's the thought Tiffany what

do you say so I had something similar happen before and um so I had a friend she had five kids we were all really really close we all wanted to go to Kalahari together so I put the deposit it down it was a little under 5 000 and big bucks i she was having car trouble about six months before we were going i kept telling her you need to get your car fixed before we go we don't have a car big enough for our luggage and all of us and she didn't listen and the day before we were supposed to leave her head gasket blew so we had no vehicle so she had to rent a vehicle big enough for all of us to drive down to Ohio. And she promised me that she was going to have me the money a week after. So we went, we had a great time. I ignored that she owed me money. We had a good time. And when we made it back a week later, she didn't have the money for me. She kept blowing me off, blowing me off. Well, I had actually

I asked her one day for the money in a very respectful way, and she told me to go KMS, if you know what that means.

Kiss my ass.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, never mind.

Basically, like, off myself. Oh, that's terrible. Wait, what? What? Yeah, and we were great friends. We were friends for about seven years. I was the godmother to, like, three of her kids. And this is over Kalahari.

She blew a gasp.

This is not over Kalahari. This was actually over a boy.

Oh, there we go.

Okay, so there's one of the stories. Still horrible to say that to somebody, but. Yeah, it was pretty bad, but I never received any of that money. She kept telling me, I'll pay you during taxes. And never did it. I'll pay you after taxes. I'll pay you a month after taxes. And I never got paid.

Did you enjoy Kalahari?

Oh, it was great. Honestly, I would not have taken it back. I just wish I would have gotten the money up front. And I think that's kind of where Lydia went wrong. I think the more trips you plan that happen like this, the more you'll realize that if you don't get the money up front, then it's not your fault, but it's not going to work out in your favor. And if you can't get the money up front, then you just don't go. You plan something else that's either cheaper that you can afford on your own or you just don't do anything. Yeah, it's just a bummer. The whole thing.

Yeah. So, Lydia, we'll post an image on Instagram and we'll get some misfits and we'll have a good party. You ready, Lydia?

Sorry, what was that question?

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