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21 plus terms and conditions apply. Joy is essential and it's also elusive, but now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotb. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Listen to Joy 101 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is presented by CVS.

It's Mojo in the Morning. Megan said something kind of strange where she said that you would like to become a witch. You want to be a witch?

Yeah, for one purpose and one purpose only, I would like to perform hexes and only hexes on my enemies.

Oh.

Oh, I'm bored.

And who are your enemies?

Well, I have a long list. Have you ever seen the movie Billy Madison?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay. When Steve Buscemi has red lipstick and he crosses the name off of the list when he apologizes, that's like me. I got a list hanging up. And I just, I got people that I'm going to get one of these days. And I got to tell you, there's this dude who is, and I assume it's a man because this is man behavior. He drives around downtown Detroit and he is a monster, a menace. he blares his music all night long and it's so loud that it actually like shakes the windows in my apartment and i wish him nothing but red lights and flat tires and overheating thermostats like that's all i wish upon him and um i just there's so many people that i just would like to give the most inconvenient life to isn't it kind of interesting wouldn't that be cool if you

could do something like that like if you could uh you know just uh randomly cast a spell on somebody like if you see a guy that cut you off in traffic you can like make him you know hurt

in his privates or something and i i respect detroit police officers because y'all be smoking hot in these streets but i would like to know why there's 8 000 of you downtown at all times but you're not doing anything let me clarify other people i want to hang oh boy i i got a list i I told you I got a lease.

By the way, be careful with that because just when you need one, whenever you bring up something like that and then next thing you know, there's a cop, you know, that pulls you over.

I heard you this morning. I already got a court date. What are you going to do?

Yeah.

So there's this road that goes to my parking garage. It's one way. It's three lanes. It's no standing, no parking, no nothing. And every day on my way home, we have to go from three lanes down to one because there are cars parked on both sides of the road. Not one or two cars. six or eight cars and one of them the other day was a cop car and no cop inside of it and i was like so all of us now are sitting at four red lights because we can't get through this intersection because y'all be parked where you're not supposed to be parked i'm gonna lose it

okay who would you want to put a spell on everybody go around the room and then if If listeners want to participate in this, they can too. If you could put a spell on anyone right now and you could be a witch for a day, who would you put a spell on? Who would be that person that you would put a spell on? Oh, God. I'm trying to think of who I would put a spell on.

I plead the fifth.

Yeah, really? By the way, whatever spell you put on cannot cause you to have to hire an attorney after the show's open.

To the Wendy's just outside of downtown Toledo over the Cherry Street Bridge by International Park. Why is your turn so sharp to get to the drive-thru window that I literally have to do a four-point turn to get my food? Whoever designed that, I hope you have the worst life. That, by the way, is anybody who's ever designed a Trader Joe's parking lot. They all suck. I don't get it.

Except for the one in Northville.

It's the Trader Joe's people. They probably move into parking or to businesses that have bad deals.

The one in where he looks the worst. I'll say that then. It's a Kroger in Grosse Pointe, and you have to pay to park your car. What? I've never done it, but you have to pay to park your car in their parking lot. Yes. Oh, my gosh. So I'm putting a hex on whoever decided that. All right.

All right. Okay, I got one. Oh, you got one? Go ahead. Oh, do you have one? I do, too, yes. I was going to put it on Christos in the fact that he doesn't have heat in our bathroom. I will never get this. This guy's going to have to redo this building or he's going to have me talking every morning about how. I tried to go to the bathroom this morning and I had to go number two. I'm holding it right now until I go home because that bathroom still is so damn cold. How is it that they expect us to have a bathroom that freezes our asses off? I literally don't want frostbite on my butt cheeks.

But it makes me pee faster.

Go ahead, Shannon. What was yours?

the guy at the car wash that terrifies me that something's going to happen to my car and just screams neutral i just want to put a hex on him to just calm down it gives you anxiety the rest of the day it really does it gets my blood pressure really going i'd rather have a dirty car oh if you

don't return your carts to the cart corral in any parking lot don't know why that's an issue but like literally everywhere I go other than Costco. Why is that the only store you guys put your carts

back at? The funny thing is don't you hate it when you find a really good parking spot and it's got the cart in there and you're like crap and either you gotta get out of the car and move it or you gotta you know just go around the

circle. Yeah park somewhere else yeah.

Mary hi who would you like to put a spell on

today? Hi how

are you? Good Mary what's going on? Great

So, I would put a spell on the two fathers of my daughters. I have three. And I wish they would just kind of disappear.

What would you like the spell to do to them? You said make them disappear? Don't you want to, like, hurt them somehow?

I mean, definitely, but I don't want to.

You don't want them disappearing because the problem is if they disappear, they won't pay you any child support.

Oh, I don't care about any of that.

Okay. Well, then let's make them disappear. Go ahead, Megan. Megan's already got this. She can do it. What's up, Tommy? How you doing? Who are you putting a spell on, Tommy?

Those orange construction cones.

Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Oh, yeah.

I drive 696 every morning and every night.

Yeah. Oh, God. It's the worst. So what are you doing now that they completely shut that thing down for two years?

I don't want to give away my route, but I definitely take eight miles.

Wait a second. Oh, okay.

Can I tell you, that is such a thing. I overheard a conversation yesterday of people talking about what their route is around 696. And they were talking like it was this big secret that they didn't want other people to find out about.

Shelly, hi. Who are we putting a spell on, Shelly?

You know, I would really like to put a spell on my ex-husband. So anytime I choose, it's liquid diarrhea running down his leg. She got a specific. That's a good one.

What's the last thing that he did to you?

You got it coming.

What's the last thing he did to you?

The last thing that he did to me? Oh, gosh. Spreading rumors about, you know, things that I've never done that, you know. It's a narcissist thing, you know. He's mad at himself, but he blames me for all of that stuff, you know. Give that man some of the squirts. Instant diarrhea would be a beautiful thing, don't you think? I agree.

Absolutely. George, what's up? It's Mojo in the morning. How you doing?

Good, good. Hey, I tell you, the guy who invented the roundabouts, We need to put a big hex on that guy.

Actually, it's not even just him. How about the fact that they brought them here? Like, these were used to other places, and they decided to bring them here. Like, why would they do that, you know?

And most of the people that can't drive around them never saw the hour special.

Right. Exactly.

I'm the anomaly. I like roundabouts.

You do? They're fun. There's one roundabout that makes no sense to me because nobody ever roundabouts. It's the Pontiac Trail M5 roundabout. It is insane that people just sit there. Nobody moves.

Yeah.

Everybody just kind of stays in place.

Are there any diamond interchanges in Michigan? Yes.

There's one on 75 and Big Beaver. Really?

Let me tell you, genius idea. Actually super safe. Way safer. But to have- It's so confusing. People learn how to use it in Perrysburg. It took like, I'm not kidding you, a year. But don't they have lights?

There's lights with them though.

Yes, but it still looks like you're driving into the oncoming traffic on the wrong side of the road.

Those are better than roundabouts though.

I agree.

Yeah, but worse for people to learn do this do a run. Can you do a spell on our boss right now? I just want to I can see him through the window. I want to see him get the squirts right now.

Would that be so funny? Expecto Patrono. Would it not be great if you could just sit there and look at somebody, do something to them, and then watch? It'd be like a shock collar. Oh, my God. I would be so evil if I had real magic. Like, I would not be Glinda the Good Witch. They've taken over cities before, but this July, they're bringing the X Games League Championship home to New Orleans. July 24th through 26th at the Superdome. Over 100 elite athletes competing for the first-ever league title. Plus, Metro Boomin, JID, Subtronics, and Bunt performing live. New Orleans doesn't just host the moment. New Orleans is the moment. Get your tickets now at xgames.com.

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Joy is essential, and it's also elusive. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotb. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Listen to Joy 101 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is presented by CVS.