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Mike's Neighbor Wars
Mojo In The Morning

Mike's Neighbor Wars

from Mojo In The Morning

May 16, 2023 | 00:10:56 | Leisure

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America's social casino. It's Mojo in the morning show. So, Mike, you live in a neighborhood where it's kind of like a little game to see who can do the best job on their lawns, and it's already starting this early in the season?

00:02:02 - 00:03:08 | Speaker 4:

It's the weirdest thing in the entire world. I didn't understand what it was when I first moved in. I'm like two years in there now, and it's like these dads will come out, and they'll walk down through the neighborhood or whatever, and you'll see them stop with their wife or whatever, and they'll take a look, and they'll point at stuff, and then they'll keep walking. And I'm like, I don't really understand what they're doing And then I heard my neighbor right next to me the other day Walk out with his wife And they looked over at my neighbor across the street And they're like, I can't believe they got their flowers in already They got their flowers We just went to Costco and they already did They got their flowers in already, I can't believe it Well, they must be doing something And they start arguing about it And I'm like, this is a competition I'm like, this is a neighborhood competition Where people try to get their lawns to look the best And nobody really, like, it's not outspoken Like, people don't talk about it a lot But, like, you could sense that everybody, like, every neighbor is looking at each other's lawns, and they always walk over to mine because mine sucks. Mine's the absolute worst. Like, I put a little bit of mulch in and think I've done, you know, the world. And they look at mine, and they'll always make comments about, like, trying to help it or how bad it looks. Do they really? Oh, yeah.

00:03:08 - 00:03:12 | Speaker 1:

And you hear them saying these things? They say it to me. They'll say it to me. Oh, okay.

00:03:13 - 00:03:38 | Speaker 4:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They say it to me. Like, it's supposed to, like, you can tell they're trying to be as nice as they possibly can about it. But there's a slight undertone, and you're like, okay, I get what you're saying. I understand it. Yeah. And I should show you a picture because it is really bad. There's these big, like, patchy spots. Because I genuinely have no idea what I'm doing. I know how to mow a lawn, and that is it. I don't know fertilizer. I don't know mulch and all that other stuff. I have no idea.

00:03:39 - 00:03:45 | Speaker 3:

When you bought that house, did the former owner of the house take care of that house nicer than you did?

00:03:45 - 00:03:51 | Speaker 4:

The yard, I would say yes. Unless he just did it up to sell it because it looked a lot nicer when I moved in.

00:03:53 - 00:04:01 | Speaker 3:

We've experienced this in our neighborhood where there are new neighbors and the new neighbors don't take care of the yard as nice as the old neighbors do.

00:04:02 - 00:04:07 | Speaker 1:

And I bet their Christmas decorations suck too compared to the old neighbors.

00:04:07 - 00:04:34 | Speaker 3:

And this is the thing. People start comparing. And the house is not by mine. It's a few houses down the road. and all the neighbors in that area are all upset because they don't take care of it like they so they said they were talking and they were like can we go over there and just start take care of it for them and i'm like you can't do that that's like having sex with another man's wife yeah you can't all of a sudden unless you do it at my house because you can have sex with my wife if you want

00:04:34 - 00:04:52 | Speaker 4:

to or mulch my own property well here's the thing is i want to like i want to secretly hire somebody and just have them do it and then one day they'll just come outside and go whoa this guy really knows what he's doing look at his lawn it's completely different like i'm not you want to

00:04:52 - 00:04:56 | Speaker 1:

get it sotted or something so it looks yeah is that what is that i don't even know what that is

00:04:56 - 00:05:00 | Speaker 4:

well what is what's wrong with your lawn your house there's there's

00:05:00 - 00:05:23 | Speaker 6:

nothing wrong with the house with the yard i'm talking about the yard there's big brown patches where it's like looks like it's died like the grass has died there's in the the where the bushes and the the flowers are there's no mulch or anything that's all evaporated and it needs there's not even you know so you need mulch well there's not even the bed or whatever you're supposed to put under it okay the sheet they just put it over grass so it's all outgrown and it

00:05:23 - 00:05:42 | Speaker 5:

looks really really basically mike those aren't that's not grass that's called weeds okay you You probably got to pull that up. If there was mulch there before and now all of a sudden it's what you think is grass, that's weeds. Well, isn't there supposed to be something under the mulch? In some cases, some times people just have beds. I just have dirt under mine.

00:05:42 - 00:05:43 | Speaker 6:

Oh, really?

00:05:43 - 00:05:50 | Speaker 5:

Yeah. So basically, Mike, you're the guy that people are living next to that have the house that's kind of the...

00:05:50 - 00:05:51 | Speaker 6:

Trash.

00:05:51 - 00:05:52 | Speaker 5:

Yeah.

00:05:52 - 00:06:05 | Speaker 6:

You got the trash on it. That was my neighbor walking by my house going, trash. that comes from somebody who is clearly the trash on her street i i think that i think what you

00:06:05 - 00:06:13 | Speaker 5:

probably need to do with the the dead spots in the lawn and don't quote me on this one is i think that there's ways that you can like you need to get sprayed or something like that

00:06:13 - 00:06:30 | Speaker 4:

you need to have somebody come and do something you know there is a spray that can make those dead spots instantly green what is it painted green yeah but it's for no i'm serious but it's Like regrowth? No, it's for like bushes and grass and stuff.

00:06:30 - 00:06:30 | Speaker 5:

It's the same stuff.

00:06:30 - 00:06:31 | Speaker 4:

You can buy it at Home Depot.

00:06:32 - 00:06:34 | Speaker 5:

Same stuff with guys that have bald spots spray on them.

00:06:34 - 00:06:35 | Speaker 4:

Correct, but it's just a different color.

00:06:36 - 00:06:43 | Speaker 5:

Actually, Shannon, you know where the spots are? They're probably the spots are where the neighbors are letting their dogs pee on your yard.

00:06:44 - 00:06:46 | Speaker 4:

Oh, they're sabotaging you. Does that do that?

00:06:47 - 00:06:47 | Unknown:

What?

00:06:47 - 00:06:53 | Speaker 5:

Yeah. The dogs pee. Yeah. Because you have a cat, so it's not your animal. What's up, Blake? How are you doing?

00:06:54 - 00:06:55 | Speaker 3:

How are you doing?

00:06:55 - 00:07:01 | Speaker 5:

Good. What's going on? Can you help Mike? Here he's got, as Megan calls, a trash yard.

00:07:02 - 00:07:06 | Speaker 2:

It's definitely a competition. You have to have a better looking yard than your neighbors.

00:07:06 - 00:07:11 | Speaker 5:

And so what can Mike do? Should he go hire it out, or do you think he can pull it together himself?

00:07:12 - 00:07:14 | Speaker 2:

He can definitely do it himself.

00:07:15 - 00:07:31 | Speaker 5:

It's going to take a little bit of time and work, but he's going to have a new baby on the way. I don't know if he's got the time to do that. I could send Peasy over there to do it. Oh, my God. Wait a second. Hold on. This is Blake, the plow guy? Yep, yep. Wait. So what do we call you guys when it's not plow season?

00:07:32 - 00:07:35 | Speaker 2:

The Mojo in the Morning Mo Crew, I guess.

00:07:36 - 00:07:37 | Speaker 4:

Okay, I like that better.

00:07:38 - 00:07:56 | Speaker 5:

The Mo Crew. So Blake, PZ, what's the other guy's names? Jay. Jay. Blake, PZ, and Jay, they were the plow guys during the wintertime. Now they're the Mo Crew. and maybe we could have you guys drive up from Toledo and go help Mike in Grand Rapids.

00:07:57 - 00:07:59 | Speaker 2:

He'd have to pay us some good money.

00:08:00 - 00:08:04 | Speaker 6:

What about good green to stay in Toledo and help a girl out?

00:08:06 - 00:08:08 | Speaker 2:

Still have to pay us some good money.

00:08:09 - 00:08:10 | Speaker 5:

Where's Peasy at?

00:08:11 - 00:08:14 | Speaker 2:

He's right here. He can hear you. Hey, Peasy.

00:08:14 - 00:08:21 | Speaker 5:

What's going on? Peasy. What's up? Any advice you can give to Mike? He's got a lawn that is struggling right now.

00:08:25 - 00:08:29 | Speaker 1:

Well, how big is it? I don't know what it looks like. I can't really give you any advice on it.

00:08:30 - 00:08:40 | Speaker 5:

Yeah, well, it's been a struggle here. He needs mulch. He's got spots that are yellow in his yard. How do you get rid of yellow spots?

00:08:42 - 00:08:49 | Speaker 2:

You've got to wait on the grass to grow. Just don't cut it too short. If you cut your grass too short, it will turn yellow.

00:08:49 - 00:08:50 | Speaker 5:

Mike, do you cut your grass yourself?

00:08:51 - 00:08:51 | Speaker 2:

Yes.

00:08:51 - 00:08:52 | Speaker 6:

Yeah, yeah.

00:08:52 - 00:08:54 | Speaker 5:

So maybe it's that.

00:08:54 - 00:08:55 | Speaker 2:

Don't cut it too short. Let it grow.

00:08:55 - 00:08:57 | Speaker 4:

Oh, yeah, Mike. Mike just sent us a picture.

00:08:58 - 00:08:58 | Speaker 5:

Andre.

00:08:58 - 00:08:59 | Speaker 4:

It's bad, bad.

00:08:59 - 00:09:05 | Speaker 5:

Andre, you wanted to give some advice? You're on with the Mo Crew and Mojo in the Morning. We're all the Mo Crew.

00:09:05 - 00:09:28 | Speaker 3:

Yeah, man. Am I talking to Mike here? Yes. Yeah, hey. Yeah, man. I just went through it, man. All you need, the first thing you need is you need to make sure your blade is sharp. take it somewhere sharpen your blade that'll rip the ends it'll make it look yellow you see some fertilizer and then uh those yellow spots might die you've got to get some grump protection mike

00:09:28 - 00:09:41 | Speaker 5:

doesn't have mike doesn't have yellow spots he's got dead spots and he's got in his bald spot he's got he's got a yard that looks like the grass has turned into uh crab grass yeah man the bald spots

00:09:41 - 00:09:46 | Speaker 3:

Mike, how long has it been this way?

00:09:48 - 00:09:57 | Speaker 6:

Right around, see, it was fine when I moved in. It was like the second I moved in, it started going bad. You know what you do? This is what my suggestion is.

00:09:58 - 00:10:00 | Speaker 5:

PZ and Blake and...

00:10:00 - 00:10:15 | Speaker 7:

and then, of course, Andre. Just park cars on that. Just put cars right over it. Nobody will see it because your house already is known as that house. Don't you think that his house is already known as? They probably all think he's a drug dealer, don't they?

00:10:15 - 00:10:21 | Speaker 3:

Hey, just get him a can of green spray paint and tell him to spray paint. You can get it on Amazon. It's called Renew.

00:10:21 - 00:10:27 | Speaker 7:

It's going to need more than green spray paint. He's going to need a hair transplant on this one. He needs seed.

00:10:27 - 00:10:33 | Speaker 1:

That's what I'm telling you. He needs sod. Call Drew Green, man. Call Drew Green. Drop some coin on it. They'll fix you.

00:10:33 - 00:10:41 | Speaker 7:

All right. All right. Thank you, Andre. Appreciate it. Thanks, man. Have a good day. PZ Blake J, thanks you guys so much. What's up, Jalen?

00:10:42 - 00:10:54 | Speaker 1:

Hey, how's it going? Yeah, I was just saying that I'm basically in the same place as Mike right now. My yard's been looking pretty rough the last couple years, and I just missed the last week and was able to get down with some weed killers, speeded it, so hopefully it's going to start looking real good. My neighbors won't complain.

00:10:55 - 00:10:58 | Speaker 7:

So you were able to do it all in the course of a weekend?

00:10:58 - 00:11:00 | Unknown:

Yeah, it didn't take too much time

00:11:00 - 00:11:03 | Speaker 7:

So hop to it, Mike You can get this thing done

00:11:03 - 00:11:15 | Speaker 6:

I have no idea where to begin So they had a There was even a sprinkler system in there when I moved in And it broke the second I moved in So I think that's how they had it nice Well, there you go You don't have a sprinkler system? No

00:11:15 - 00:11:31 | Speaker 7:

Yeah, you gotta be watering it somehow How are you not watering your lawn? You don't need a sprinkler system to water his lawn He's not watering his lawn His lawn is only green right now in this picture Because it's been raining I've never watered my lawn, and my lawn doesn't look like it. Ever. And you know what? Ever, ever. And your yard is what?

00:11:31 - 00:11:36 | Speaker 3:

You don't even have the one that goes, like, real slow back and forth? No, I'm trash. My yard looks great.

00:11:37 - 00:11:46 | Speaker 6:

The hose you see in that picture, too, I just bought, like, one of those, like, sprinklers that just go back and forth. Those ones that the kids run through. Right, right. But I don't have, like, a nice sprinkler system.

00:11:46 - 00:11:48 | Speaker 7:

I thought the guy put a sprinkler system in there, and there was a—

00:11:48 - 00:12:07 | Speaker 6:

He just said he broke it. No, they broke—well, yeah. Fix it. It was broke when I got there. So somebody had winterized it or not winterized it and then turned it on and it blew out in the middle of winter. And then when I moved in, it was, I have to replace a whole thing. And yes, I know I need to fix it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. Michael.

00:12:08 - 00:12:23 | Speaker 7:

This is why I got bald spots in my head too. Your poor neighbors. Jalen, you don't want to live next to this guy. What are your neighbors' names? What are their names? We're going to apologize. Mike and Mary. Mike and Mary. They're great people. They're old people, aren't they?

00:12:23 - 00:12:35 | Speaker 6:

Mike. Yes, they are. They're a wonderful couple. And then I don't know the guy next to me's name. I refuse to remember it because he's the guy with the dog that I don't like. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I'm refusing to remember his name. You're

00:12:35 - 00:12:38 | Speaker 7:

the guy with the man lawn. He's the guy with the dog. It's probably

00:12:38 - 00:12:41 | Speaker 6:

his dog peeing on my lawn.

00:12:41 - 00:12:43 | Speaker 5:

I love it. That's more than

00:12:43 - 00:12:44 | Speaker 7:

pee that did that.

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