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intended to diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease wkqi detroit wsnx muskegon grand rapids wvks toledo this is mojo in the morning oh mojo he's he's amazing live are you ready

Five, four, three, two, one.

This is Mojo in the Morning.

I am kind of a wimpy Cuban guy, you know what I mean?

I eat half an Oreo with the cream scraped off, and I gain another butt cheek, just like that.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mojo in the Morning.

Showtime. We'll be right back.

Good morning and welcome to the Mojo in the Morning Show. What a weekend, huh? What a weather weekend. We won't get into that, though, because you know what? I'm at that point right now where I'm going to be that guy that's going to get that light for my house that's going to actually make me feel better for some reason. or pure Prozac. I don't know. One of those two is going to be helping me out here. Happy May. Oh, my God. It's going to be May. That's right. We got to pull out a little NSYNC this morning and play it. I can't believe it. It's already May 1st. I know that you guys feel like this year has been going by as fast as I feel like it's been going by, but it does feel like that last weekend, for some reason, went by even faster. Is it just me? Did it fly? I agree with you.

I feel like we were just in here playing the throwback throwdown, and there was no weekend.

It's crazy. Got a good show for you today. Second date update's coming up this morning. Why are you not getting a call back? Wait till you hear what he did, or I'm sorry, what he wore that has caused for him to not get a call back. That's happening this morning. Shannon, with a lot of breaking dirty news, the 5 at 6.55. We got good contests. Taylor Swift tickets to give away. Oh, we got some throwback shows. How about this? A chance for you to see Snoop and Wiz Khalifa. We'll have that for you. If you're a fan of One Direction, Louis Tomlinson, we've got some more of those tickets to give away. Naughty Moms Night Out. We're getting closer and closer.

naughty mom's night out happening on may the 12th i gotta write this down by the way i gotta make sure that i go i always end up waiting until the week of naughty or of mother's day my anniversary and chelsea's birthday to go and figure out what i'm buying her and i gotta figure it out now yeah you do just gotta do it now i mean seriously and then i and then i'm you know, getting on my oldest sons because I always say to them, hey, make sure you remember to put a card in the mail. And I literally have paid FedEx to FedEx a card from my kids before. I've paid to overnight cards from when they were in college so that Chelsea would have a card to open up. And you know what Saturday delivery is on a FedEx?

It's expensive.

Well, let's put it this way. The card alone, you know, it costs you $5.95.

$5? That's cheap for a card.

But the delivery was like $38 Or something like that For the delivery of just a card Because that's all she wants is a freaking card And you know what? It's the least that the kids could do

Yeah greeting cards are like $6.99 I know At Target, like not the fancy places

I know It's insane The ones that have the shine on them The glow on them or whatever it is Those ones are even more expensive

Y'all buy cards I love cards, I'm such a card buyer

By the way, the funny thing is that Chelsea loves homemade cards. Like she likes just get a piece of paper and a marker or something and do something nice. But I have something I would like to bring up here right now. I got to spend the night with Megan, literally, like spend the night where she stayed the night over. And my wife was involved too, okay? And by the way, my favorite is posted a picture of it yesterday on our social media saying Girls Night Out. And it was me and Chelsea and my wife and Megan. And people are like, you're not a girl.

You didn't get the joke.

Well, they obviously aren't longtime listeners of the show because you'll know that I'm just as much of a girl than Megan is. But I would like to say this about hanging out with Megan for a weekend. Liza Minnelli. Isn't that what you say all the time? It is. It is.

What did I lie about?

So I have three things that are pure lies about Megan. Shannon, I want you to get close to the radio here right now. Okay. All right. I'm listening. Because you're going to learn something about Megan. Number one lie about Megan. Megan says that she hates kids, but she loves them and they love her.

Hi, Megan. I love you. Well, I knew that kids love her because my kids, on the few occasions that they have met her, love her. But I did not know that she loved kids. What is this lie that has been going on for years?

Friends of ours, their kids just got done celebrating a birthday and they got a chance to meet Megan and they brought their kids to say hi to her and their kids were complete a-holes, right? They were in. No, they were not. They were tired. They were, they just got done, you know, hanging out at some play place, you know, jumping around, eating pizza and stuff. And they were jumping all over the place. And Megan was the most compassionate person that I've ever seen with kids. And it's so much that she loves kids that I ended up getting a phone call from our friends and they said that Danny, little Danny, that he was asking about Megan the next day. Can I see Megan? Can I see Megan? And I know your kids do too. Your kids like Megan too. So, number one lie. She doesn't say F them babies. Maybe she doesn't like babies. Maybe that's the thing. She likes kids, but she doesn't like babies.

Kids that actually have a personality. You're kind of blowing my cover here. Oh, I want to hear more.

That hard shell around her is lies. Number two, Megan doesn't drink. Okay, we've heard this before. That Megan's not a drinker. Remember that?

And even when we're out with her, she'll have a drink. She pours the shot on the floor, gives it away.

Yeah, all right. I've seen her do that. Let me say this about Megan. She drank, like drink for drink with my wife, Chelsea, who, by the way, likes to drink. I mean, she knows how to drink. And she drank, drink for drink, dirty martinis made with gin, not vodka. And she wasn't even close to being drunk.

Are you drunk?

Oh, so you have a tolerance. No. She's got a tolerance. There's something to it. I have no idea. Because those that have ever gone out to eat with Megan, she's the slowest eater I've ever seen. Like, honestly, it's the...

That's the most embarrassing thing ever because I've eaten like 12 meals by the time that she's still nibbling on her first appetizer or something.

That's because you ask all the questions and she's the one talking. Thank you very much, KP. I was going to say I am way more interested in having a good conversation than a good meal.

So I would much rather talk to people. But wait a second. If you had that many martinis and you weren't drunk, that means that you have built up a tolerance.

No. You want to know what the most unfortunate thing in the entire world is? I just, I don't really get I don't want to say I don't really get drunk Because I can get drunk It just takes an extreme amount I don't know what it is

She's got an amazing tolerance

There are quite a few girls in my family That can definitely out drink the men And I think I might be one of them

Look at how big I am, okay

I am twice the size You're a lightweight

I'm twice the size of Megan And I had one sip of a drink and I was wasted

And you have to announce to everybody around you how wasted you are.

Oh, like I'm literally like, I'm so drunk. All right.

I can't feel my tongue. I feel like I need like witnesses for this conversation. Do I need to start calling people saying if they're awake right now to call in?

You know what? We can always bring it up even later this morning. I would call Chelsea, but if I call her right now on the first day that Luke doesn't have any school for the whole time of his life, she would kill me that this is the first day she can actually sleep in. All right. And lie number three, this is the biggest of all the lies here. This is the Liza Minnelli of Liza Minnelli's for Megan, who I spent the weekend with and slept over at our house this weekend. You know how we always say that Megan sleeps all weekend? That she's, you know, at home, in bed, sleeping the entire weekend, right?

You make me want to stop sleeping with a bunch of guys.

Not that kind of sleeping. You know how she's always been known as, she hibernates all weekend?

I'm always very jealous of how much sleep she gets.

I call bull crap on that one, Shannon, because we got home really late. We all went to bed, and I said to Chelsea, I go, this is going to be so great. I said, let's just do this. Because we told Megan, text us when you wake up. When you wake up, then we'll all get up, and then we'll go grab brunch right afterwards. And I said, she's not going to wake up until 10, 11, maybe noon.

Yeah, it's going to be a later brunch.

It'll be unbelievable that I get to sleep in because I never get to sleep in like this. And I was wasted and I was, you know, feeling like this.

She wakes up at 7 a.m. What? Yes. She gets up at 7 a.m. Okay.

Don't buzzer me. Do not buzzer me. I, uh, okay, can I get my side of what happened this weekend? Go ahead.

Okay.

The floor is yours. Oh, we're running out of time. Go ahead.

The first one in the kids. Could you imagine if I was mean to your friend's kids? Like, that was off the table. It had to be nice. Number two, drinking. I can't help it that you're a lightweight and I'm better than you. Number three, the sleeping thing. Genuinely, I was so stressed out about what time to wake up. I was talking to Chelsea, your wife, and I said, okay, so, like, what time do you guys get up and she said and i quote we get the dogs out around 6 45 and then we just kind of hang out and relax so i said well i can't sleep past like 7 30 yeah but he's just gonna be waiting around yeah oh that would give me anxiety too i had alarm set to get my ass up so that they weren't waiting around for me i hate when people won't give me a time in the morning so i was like all right you said 6.5 let's let's wake the f up do you know how much i was dragging ass yesterday

and i'm tired this morning because we didn't get to bed until you know the witching hours and then seven o'clock in the morning chelsea looks up the dogs do get up at that time but honestly what we do is take the dogs out feed them and then they come jump in bed with us and we fall asleep for hours all right and the dogs even will fall asleep and my dog by the way needs a CPAP machine because he's snoring like a, seriously, like a buzzsaw. So all of a sudden, Chelsea goes, Megan's up. I go, Megan's up? She goes, Megan's up. I go, Megan, how is Megan up? How did Chelsea know that Megan was up? Because Megan texted her. Oh, okay. And said, hey, I'm up. Going to take a shower. Be ready in 30 minutes at 7 a.m.

No, no. I didn't know. No. 7 a.m. Y'all stressed me out. I didn't even want to be up. I was afraid that I was the bad friend. I wanted to sleep.

I'm not kidding you when I say this to you, that it was the worst feeling in the world. And I was very, very upset about this. And I said to Chelsea, I go, you know what this is like? Having a baby again. Remember when you would have a baby and your baby would wake up in the morning? I'm like, I said, Chelsea, you go get her. I got her last time.

It's your turn. Okay, so here are two questions. What time?

What time then did you guys head to brunch?

Did you go to brunch? Yeah, we ended up heading. We actually couldn't even go to a brunch because guess what? They call it breakfast at that time. They don't even call it brunch. We ended up going before 9 o'clock. Honestly, we were able to walk in and get a table right away. They weren't even busy.

What time were you back home in Toledo and already in your bed sleeping because you were so tired from waking up at 7 in the morning?

Like 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

It was unbelievable. I knew it. it was so that was a lot yesterday was the longest day of my life and and i said to chelsea i go this is actually kind of a fun thing and then i even i even made this reference i said you know what would be really fun and i think that i'm inviting all of you guys to come and sleep over at my house because i'm starting to like realize my kids are leaving the house and i'm going to be an empty nester here soon so i'm getting kind of depressed yeah but i thought oh it'd be so fun to have the entire show everybody come over on a friday night we'll all have like you know drinks food whatever and everybody spend the night and we have a slumber party and you know watch it you know maybe binge watch like a tv show or something i don't know whatever no way after this if i know that she's waking up this early in the morning imagine going over to somebody's house for

the first time and they said well we get up around 6 45 and we'll go get breakfast but you just get up when you want and you know internally you don't get up until 11 maybe noon you're not getting up at 11 or noon you're not letting everybody quietly tiptoe around their own house so that you can stay

asleep that's so rude i wouldn't even be able to sleep then do you want to know how poorly i slept

i was so worried the whole night that i was gonna be snoring that i was gonna get oversleep like crazy i was so stressed out i don't know how you could be up like stressed out about something like

that we put you in the basement room the same one that mike slept in and we put you in that room because it's like dungeness you know what i mean it's dark and it's cold and all that stuff and yeah that's what i feel like this morning yeah thought that you would get like the greatest sleep ever inside of that room but she's like didn't and then the other one too you know what stressed me out about her she she goes before she was going to bed she said can you log me into your Apple TV because she was going to start binge watching the show and all I kept thinking to myself was she's going to like order movies and things like that. I thought she's going to spend up all what is she going to do? Stay up all night or something?

You were such a jerk. You know what really happened? I said I'll just buy my Apple subscription again and I'll log into my own and you guys are both like absolutely not. We're going to come in and log you in. You make me look like the bad guy here and you guys were just too nice and too accommodating and I didn't want to be a bother And that's what this really is

Shannon you're staying over the night at the house I know you have kids You would have appreciated the fact that you could have slept in

But actually I would like you to take my kids first If you're feeling empty nester I've got two little ones that would love to spend some time With Uncle Mojo and Aunt Chelsea

No because you know what Then I have to actually watch them

You know what if the TV's on You don't they're good

Uncle Mojo and Aunt Chelsea You know sleepovers May be over with right now Megan might have stopped that entire sleepover thing

I think the biggest question here is you've figured out three lies about me. Sure, whatever. What else am I hiding?

Is that like a challenge to figure it out? I think so. Because now I'm invested.

I think so.

Am I really nice and compassionate and care about men?

I don't know. That's the thing. That's what I kind of realized. Well, that or what is it called when you don't sleep? You have insomnia. Yeah.

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Thank you.