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Now back to the Midwest number one morning show. Mojo in the morning.

Mojo in the morning Mojo in the morning Just went to the bathroom

and I was on my phone checking text messages and son of a bitch if you didn't notice this when you're texting and peeing at the same time you pee all over the floor

and I peed all over the floor so then I

of course only had to clean it up because the people that walked in after me noticed that I had some pee on the floor. So I'm like, oh, how dare these people pee on the floor? And I'm like wiping it up with the, and the guy, one of the, he's a, I guess he's a sales guy, an iHeart sales guy. I've never known him or seen him, but he, it's wild. It's an iHeart sales guy that dresses like he's a non-air talent. And what I mean by that is he kind of doesn't dress up. Like if I saw him walk into my building and try to sell me radio advertising, I would think the guy was, you know, trying to steal my money or something.

Listen, we need to change the workplace dress code.

Yeah.

It's got to happen.

Dress down.

Are you kidding me? Back in the day, you asked to wear a three-piece suit and a corset to go to your advertising gig in the 1950s. I don't need it.

I'd buy from somebody with a corset.

That's why Lee Robinson is who he is. I mean, he's always dressed to the nines. He looked like Obama today. That's ridiculous. It's crazy.

He really is. He's the most fitted suits I've ever seen. And then he puts on the extra large ones, too, man. The big old ones with the big old lapels and stuff. Yeah, like the basketball players in the 2000s.

Jeans need to be acceptable office wear. I'm with you.

And he's got hats, too. Listen, if you can do the job, I don't give a damn how you look. Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, for some people, though, they won't even let you through the door based on that presentation. Yeah.

Which is crazy. But it's no doubt that this guy probably sells to, like, you know, the motocross stores and stuff like that. You know what I mean? Lee Robinson, Lee's got all the big, you know, agency guys and stuff. He's got, like, the people. You know, he walks into businesses like the Rensen and stuff like that.

Yeah, that's a Lee, man.

Okay, so back to me cleaning up the pee on the floor. I'm proud of you. So I'm cleaning up the pee on the floor. And as I'm cleaning up the pee on the floor, I'm going, I just can't believe how disgusting people are that they pee all over the floor like this. So the guy literally, I'm not kidding you, because he has no idea who the hell I am, because I'm a guest. I'm a visitor in this particular studio. He goes, so what do you do? And I said to him, I go, well, I'm an on-air talent. I'm on the air. I don't know if you know this, but I'm a big-time person here. Go in there and grab the Anchorman drop. Go in there, Anchorman. That's when I sounded like, I don't know, I'm kind of important here.

I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me.

Still never gotten through this movie. What? Oh, it's such a good movie.

That is so insane.

So I said to the guy, I go, I'm a morning radio talent out of Michigan, Detroit, Michigan. And the guy goes, oh, and look at you. You're cleaning up the pee on the floor. I said, I don't know how your talent does it around here, but we clean up the pee. By the way, do you understand that I may never come back to the Detroit studios? It is so nice to go to the bathroom in a place that has three stalls with a toilet that doesn't feel like it's 30 degrees.

It is so cool. Hey, guess what? We only got one today. We're down to one again today.

The round one stall.

One stall.

I'm telling you.

Look, man.

I think we may be evicted from this building after all the stuff I'm going to say about that. Christos may kick us out on our asses. Did they find out if they rented that Farmington Hills building out? We may have to come back there and re-rent.

No, please no.

When you started talking about peeing on the floor, I was like, you're the culprit. I was.

Well, believe me. Oh, you just heard him. I was. Did you hear him? No.

No.

He cleans it, he says.

Sorry, Shannon. No. I'm a cleaner. He never cleaned his pee up.

No. But no, I probably peed on the floor back in Farmington Hills. Listen, we all peed on something. That building was so bad, there was feces all over the place. But I'm telling you, the bathrooms at least were nice. It was good bathrooms in that place. Hold on. Jed's here. Come on in, Jed, real quick. Jed, I just peed on the floor of your guys' bathroom.

Oh, Jesus. Thank God. You know that the maid doesn't speak English here. She's speaking only. I like it.

I didn't see her. Tell her that we can say, say, hablo inglés, pee-pee on flooring. But no, but here's the deal. I ran into one of your guys who's a sales guy. There's a sales guy here that dresses like he's... Don Draper from Badman? No, no, not at all. He dresses like, he looks like he's the rock morning guy or something like that. Like jeans, t-shirt? Yeah. Yeah. It was kind of crazy. Is it the one who plays games at his desk? I don't know. I don't know. It's crazy. Like, I'm thinking to myself, and I said to him, I go, do you have a good list? Like, do you have, like, a lot of advertising? He goes, oh, yeah, I got a good list. I'm making good money. And I'm, like, going, how does this guy make any sales? We got salespeople in our building. Look at those guys over there. Don and all the rest of these guys. Those guys are working hard over there. Marcy? Yeah.

Everybody's here today.

They're professionals. Those are professionals that are there. Shout out Crystal Rim. That's my dog. Is it Florida dressing? Is that what these people dress like? I don't know who it is. Does it have a goatee? Yeah, a guy who's kind of like an older guy with a goatee. Be professional, man. I swear to God, I thought that he was like the morning guy.

Shut up, Jed. You literally posted shirtless videos, jump roping on Instagram. I don't want to hear about professionalism.

Well, at the workplace, of course, I'm wearing what you would consider professional outfit. I'm wearing a nice shirt, and I'm wearing navy pants.

How many of your coworkers have you hit on this week? Slippers.

Hold on. There's so many questions coming in. They want to know about your slippers, but Megan wants to know how many people you've hit on in this last week at work. How many people? I don't hit on anybody at work. You're right. why would i hit on people at work did he hit on people back in our building of course i did now that you're not in the building all the time if you could have slept with any person in the building who would you have slept with married or not married wait there's some married ones who else of course um who is your favorite who was my favorite

yeah come on did you do you have i kind of want to plead the fifth on this don't do it man come No, because they may or may not work on your show. It doesn't. That's okay. Shannon. Well, I don't want to say it because I'm going to get them in trouble with their mother. Say it. Lydia, clearly. Lydia?

I was not expecting that. Hey, Lydia, would you smash it? Enough. Smash who? Enough.

Would you? Lydia, could you see yourself dating a guy like Jed?

Yeah, I could see myself dating a guy like Jed, but I'm not going to answer any further questions.

Wow. We haven't heard about Lydia. Your mama's smashing and Lydia in the same day.

This is actually kind of wild. I would never have, you know, suspected that. But I remember at my party I had, my not Hall of Fame party that I had, that Chelsea had for me. Oh, that's right. You almost took Lydia home. I almost did.

Wait, how would you do that? He almost took me to your home, Mojo.

Yes.

I did, yeah.

Well, not his home.

Jed was staying. Jed, Joe, and Ashley were staying at our place. and all of a sudden we're going home and Jed, I found out through the grapevine, otherwise known as Ellen, I think it was that Jed was going to take Lydia back to my house and have her spend the night with him and I said to Chelsea, I go, I don't know if you want to know about something like this and I think mom put the end to that. Mom said no way.

All right, now, if Ashley had to deal with one of us, who would she pick?

Huh? Ooh. What do you think? Ashley in our building? Uh-huh. Probably Shannon.

Yeah. Oh, my God.

What the actual honor is going on right now? Even if you're lying, I'm honored.

Actually, no, Chris Carson.

Oh, you know what? Oh, yeah, that's true. That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. What about this?

Hey, wait, do you remember the time? no do you remember the time though that uh shannon and uh and jed were i don't know if they

were texting or whatever the deal i was drunk texting shannon and then we talked about it on the radio the next day and my mother said jed jr don't you dare yeah nancy got very very upset

put on that real quick that was actually one of my favorite moments ever it was the the best part of that entire story was shannon you were divorced but not dating at the time but we kept telling you that you needed to go out and date and then Jed starts drunk texting you thinking he's got a shot. Would he have had a shot, Shannon? In that era, yes. Really?

Yes. What's the number one thing that women love most in men? It's confidence. If you don't have the confidence then you have no chance.

That's so true.

God, this is amazing. This is part of that whole book that you read, How to Be a 3% Man, on Amazon today.

Oh my God, I thought it about this.

Have you ever heard of that book, Kev?

No, Kev, give me some takeaways from the how to be a 3% man.

Can I just give you, I'll message you the Cliff Notes version of it.

But give me something and give the listeners out there, too, the other men who want to learn how to become 3%.

Yeah, what is it? Give us one rule. What's the one? The best negotiation tactic is to walk away and mean it.

Wow. Wow.

I'm saying like if they try to. if they try to put you in the friend zone for example right they want oh yeah I just want to be friends you're going to say well I'm not interested in just being friends you can do that but give me a call if you change your mind and then you leave and you move on to the next one and you got oh another one the next bus is always 15 minutes away

Gucci Mane told me that wait what I gotta go by hold on a second hold on Becca like women another one gonna come around 15 minutes like a bus what do you want to say Becca

oh I don't like if you think it like that I just wanted to say Megan we all know why you asked about Ashley. Let me tell you, my feelings are hurt. I've been texting Ashley over and over again, like, get in that studio and say that it is not true. And she's ignoring me right now. That girl texts me back within 30 seconds every time I text her. Because maybe it is me.

Why is...

I'm pissed!

Wait, what is the... Yeah.

Megan has the hots for Ashley. We all know this. Duh.

Wow. Megan, you... Seriously, Megan's got the hots for...

And I'm a little bit pissed because Jed and I have a marriage contract.

Well, that's if I'm, like, by a certain age, Megan, if we're both not married, then we're legally obligated, yes.

And you still pick Lydia. You did, like, I feel so, like, I want to break my marriage contract with you, Jed. I'm pissed at you right now. I date you, Megan. For what? Because you literally didn't even pick me. Oh, boy. I'm at my hottest right now, and you didn't pick me, and you said you would marry me, and you don't want to sleep with me? Megan, Megan, Megan aged like wine.

By the time the marriage contract kicks in, you'll be looking like a Playboy model.

Can you turn his mic down? Hold on, hold on.

Turn it off.

Real quick, Joe just came in here and yelled because they're on the air. They're waiting for Jed to go do it. And he's been sitting on the show the whole time. Oh, my God.

I'm glad you're in trouble.

Hold on a second. Max, what's up, Max? Hi. Hey, how's it going? Good, buddy. What's going on?

First time, long time. Hey! Max on the phone! yeah just text him thought i'd call in and say uh from when you guys were talking earlier shannon

is definitely every man's dream for sure for sure yeah so so radio not the guy at jack's car wash

wait wait so wait wait a second though max max we just asked jed the question and jed picked lydia so you don't agree with his choice i mean no not at all not at all that's crazy

Christ, not at all.

That's very insensitive of you. You're an insensitive guy.

I don't like men who don't take their phone off Bluetooth and speakerphone anyway. Some people argue with the most opinion, and some people have facts, and I think mine is just a fact. All right.

Well, listen, thank you for the call. It's nice of you to do this. Just like favorite children, you don't pick your favorite children. You don't pick your show person that you want to have sex with. Is that what I'm kind of learning off of this whole thing?

Mojo. He's good at a lot of things. But hitting the urinal ain't one of them. This is Mojo in the Morning.

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