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Mojo in the Morning Show. I don't know how we got into this conversation. But the conversation that happened between Megan from our show and my son, Joe, who is from The Joe Show. You probably can hear him in, you know, I don't want you to listen to him in the morning, to be honest with you, because that takes away from us. He listens to his podcast, even though he's my son and I love him. Honestly, I would like all the ratings. I would like him to have none of the ratings. He can have all the ratings in the afternoon on Channel 955. But he is on the iHeartRadio app, and his podcast is great, too. It's called The Joe Show. So we were on a three-way call with Megan, myself, and my son.

I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust. Does that excite you at all or no?

No, it wasn't one of those. It was a three-way call. How weird would that be, by the way? Very. A father-son combo. Has anybody ever had that before?

I was just going to say, I bet people have.

It's got to be. But we were talking, and my son said something that offended Megan.

Because it was disrespectful. Because Joe has no faith in me. And it was actually so upsetting to realize that he just underestimates my ability to run a prison. And when I say run a prison, I don't mean work for a prison. I mean, if I was an inmate, I would be the top dog in that prison. And he said that I wouldn't do well. And I disagree. I think that if I ever went to prison, I think I would be the person everybody comes to. First of all, I've got the makeup skills. I know how to make a bomb eyeliner from a colored pencil. Number two, I've watched enough prison documentaries to know exactly how to make the best food and what commissary items need to be treated and have value. And number three, I just, I think I would be funny enough to entertain everybody and get on everybody's good side

I think funny is what they're looking for in prison

No, here's the thing, you're thinking of men's prisons And I am the first person to admit that I would not do well in a men's prison I would be, I would be somebody's B word, for sure But in a women's prison, things are different, and I think I would run things So you're actually offended at this comment? A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Because if it was federal prison, by the way, I thought about this a lot. If it was federal prison, Mojo would do great because he plays golf.

That's true. That's right. So, yeah, so Megan was offended.

That Joe said that she would not be good in prison, that she would actually, you know, end up being somebody else's bitch.

And let's be honest.

And Megan said no, that she would be the one that would make everybody else her bitch.

Let's be honest. I'd get some J-Pay money.

Yeah. Go ahead, Megan. Finish what you're saying.

I'd get some J-Pay money. You'd call into the show all the time. You don't think I would be popular around my cell when everybody wants to get onto the show?

All right. Question to the listeners. Who do you think would do the best and who would do the worst in prison if we were in prison? And if you've ever been in prison or jail, call us up. Joe? Yes? Megan took offense to the conversation about she would do bad in prison that you said to her.

Okay, but here's Megan's whole theory and why it wouldn't work. Megan, I don't think, would even get arrested in anywhere that the radio shows on. I'm talking about, like, if Megan came and visited us, we have no pole in Florida. If you were in a Florida prison, Megan, you don't know, you're going to be someone's bitch.

I'm not. Absolutely not. I've watched enough documentaries. I've studied this. I could live this.

I watch all the documentaries, too. I know for a fact the first thing's happening, I might be four people's bitches before I even get processed.

Joe, you would be completely ruined in prison. First off, you would instantly become the lover of about 20 of the guys.

You're too pretty.

And you would be the guy that would end up being like, you know how you ever watch, I don't know, any of the movies that are out there about people in prison? Or what was the show that I used to watch all the time?

Orange is the New Black?

Yeah, Orange is the New Black. So in Orange is the New Black, in Orange is the New Black, it's always like the new person that comes in, Joe would be the person that would be like, I don't know, helping them, you know, get everything that they needed. You know, he would work like in the laundry room.

How to use the phone to call your family.

That's also my problem, though, is that I look like I star in Orange is the New Black. We were at Pride the other week, and I mean, I had like eight people walk up to me, and they thought I was a woman from behind. I have, like, a real, like, lesbian haircut right now. I think that that's why, like, just the men would, like, definitely. I mean, it's like the Ellen DeGeneres show.

Wait, wait. I've not seen your haircut lately, but that's interesting, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But, Joe, if you don't think it's me, then who would do well on this show in prison?

Oh, my God. Like, and it's nothing to take, like, you know, I think that you guys would all be. I mean, you'd be like, you'd be big bitch dad. I mean, Shannon, like, is way too nice. I mean, Mike. I mean, maybe Mike. Like, no, because Mike is too nice. Mike is too nice, way too nice.

But he can play the whole, you know, Latin thing. I would pretend like I'm tough. So I'd walk in there and I'd look for the top dog. I'd look for top dog and immediately go after him. And then he would challenge me back and I would go, yep, nope, all right, all right. Just kidding.

I don't even I don't think anyone would

I don't know, I feel like your dad might do okay I could talk my way out of him I was going to say, I think he would talk people's ear off To the player where they'd be like, don't bother that dude He won't leave you alone

You know what it would be? Honestly, it would be Oh, didn't that guy used to be on the radio Before? And they would sit there and go Oh man, I grew up listening to you Remember that whole thing that people will say? And I would have like the gang leader That would go, my mom used to listen to you the phone scams every morning on their way to school and i'd be like thank you sergio but i just but i just want you to know sergio i do not want to be your lover and i'll say i'll say this though

are you i spooned with you last night and you might make me feel safe joe joe mike and i were

in uh we're in our bed together your mom let us sleep in the bed together last night oh my god

and and who was the big spoon who was little stuff well who do you take a guess i don't give up the big spoon ever and um does mike look like a lesbian from behind some days some days uh hold

on spencer wants to comment on this one spencer uh comment on the fact that megan would not do

well in prison no megan i'm sorry i love you but you would definitely be the bitch i watch documentaries about diving in the ocean and it doesn't mean i can do it okay okay okay fair but

out of anybody on the show i have the skills i know how to turn my bunk into a grill by using wires in the outlets like i know how to do that i know how to smuggle in stuff and i i think i just have more i could make a toilet phone i know how that works i can fish for stuff from other cells i'm resourceful everybody else on this show would be

miserable and I think I would have a good time. Megan does seem tougher than she looks but then

she opens up her mouth and she's so sweet when she opens up her mouth. But you do look like she does look like she's tough doesn't she when she first comes upon you? I think I could kick somebody's ass. Matthew what are your thoughts on this one here? Who would be the top dog Matthew?

I don't know about top dogs but I gotta stay with the same side. Whoever says they're top dog his bottom. Rule number one. Rule number one. Round his mouth, he gets shut down the fastest.

And wait, have you ever been in?

No, no, but I've had multiple families, members, and friends go in and out. Okay.

And you know exactly from their experience. Amanda, hi, Mojo in the Morning. Amanda, you've been in. Amanda has been in prison. I love it.

Hey, guys. First time caller, long time listener.

Wait, is it the first time that you're calling us because you didn't get privileges to call and that's why this is the first time?

Because I can relate to this subject, unfortunately. Okay. Yeah, I've actually, you know, I did some time years ago, and it's not what you guys think it is. And I definitely think Megan can. She could definitely hold her own. You go in there, you mind your business, you do what you got to do, you do your time, and you get out.

Amanda, when you were in, what did they call the woman who was, like, the kind of the head of the? The matriarch. Yeah. Is that who? I don't know. Yeah.

They probably called her Mama.

Mama. Could you imagine? Would everybody be calling Megan Mama?

When you're good to Mama. No, she would probably be one of Mama's children.

No.

But Megan could definitely. I mean, I can't relate to men's prisons, but I know the women's prison. Definitely, you go in, it's definitely not like the orange is the new black. There's nothing, there's no comparison.

Do you guys have sex with each other all the time? Like, do you guys honestly?

I didn't have sex with anybody, but there was definitely that kind of stuff going on for sure.

Really? For sure. So how did you keep yourself from being somebody's lover? Because I always hear about them guys' prisons where guys just all of a sudden become somebody's lover.

No, not me. Not me. No, I went in, and I wasn't looking for a lover. I was looking to do my time and get out. That's it.

What did you do to get in? I'm so inquisitive. Sorry, Shannon.

I was actually a former substance abuse user and been eight years clean. Oh, good for you. So, yeah. Yeah, so I, you know, I was doing stuff I shouldn't have been doing back in the day, and it led me to places, but it saved my life. So it was all good. It was all good. It all worked out in the end.

And do you think my son looks like a lesbian?

I'm going to be completely honest with you. I haven't seen him. Lesbian.

Yeah, do me a favor. Only from behind. Check him out. Joe, what's your social? Joe Show Sucks. Joe Show Sucks. Go check him out and tell me.

I'm going on there right now. As soon as we hang up, I'm going on there.

He's the non-masculine white guy that's in the pictures.

I love you guys so much. We love you too.

Love you. Thank you. Sam, what's up? It's Mojo in the morning.

Hey, I think Megan would do great in prison because she smokes weed, so she'd be able to get the girls, you know, she knows how the food she was saying. She'd be able to run it, get the girls doing whatever she wants.

And you know this firsthand because?

Well, I've never been to jail, but my brother's in jail, and I've watched lots of crime shows also and jail shows. So I can just, I know, she would do good

Alright, yeah, Megan would actually be alright Although Megan would be fighting for cigarettes, wouldn't she?

Oh, for sure, for sure But I also think, like, I could do 60 Days In Like, I think I could do it Totally For sure

Thank you for the call, I appreciate it Hold on, Kayla, you're on with the Mojo in the Morning show And the Joe show, and what's up?

Okay, I think you guys are all crazy Megan's totally got this Thank you She would be totally fine. None of you guys would be okay.

I think that's true.

I think you're absolutely right. Shannon would be like, where's the Trader Joe's?

There's no dollar spot in here in the commissary. What the heck? Yeah, it would not be good.

Kayla, say hi to Joe.

Hey, Joe. Miss you.

I miss you more.

You got to go check him out.

I know.

Yeah. Go visit them in Florida. And actually, do you listen to them in the afternoon on Channel 955?

No, I'm at work.

Oh, you got to listen. Listen in the afternoon. I know.

I know.

By the way, ratings just came out in the radio station, number one across the board, including the afternoon show, number one across the freaking board.

Come on, Joe. Come on, Joe.

How exciting is that?

That's amazing. Well, obviously, it's the immense effort that Ashley, Jed, and I put in. Dang. And not all the music that Sean and Tony put in. That's right. Okay.

Well, out of you, Jed, and Ashley, who would do the best in prison? Oh, dang. Probably Jed, but like. Ashley. Ashley, for sure. 10,000% Ashley. No, Ashley's too, and I don't know where Ashley went, but, like, Ashley's too, like, nice about things. I just think, like, being nice isn't, that's the problem. Everyone's, like, way too nice that we hang around. Jed would go in. There needs to be someone like who.

Yeah, no, Jed would wait.

Is Jed right there? Well, I can go get Jed. No. Jed is the jujitsu guy.

Jed would be.

Oh, that's true.

Jed would sit there and talk their ear off so much that they'd be like, all right, shut up and go back in your cell, you know?

Hey, we're, would you last in prison? Do you think you'd like, or do you'd be someone's bitch? I was actually watching a guy who admitted to some prison stuff,

and I don't think I could handle it. Not at all. I'd be like the weak link, and they would abuse me and have their way with me, and I would accept it. And you would be, you would accept it.

Miss you, Jed. We'll talk to you later, okay? Bye, guys. See you, buddy. See you guys. Love you guys. We'll see you later. All right, I love you.

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