Muse

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Hey, Portlandia fans.

Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, A-O-Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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In the morning, I have to talk about something right now that I talked about earlier, I don't know, it was like two months ago, and I didn't talk about it at this time, but I talked about it, I think like in the eight o'clock, I don't know when it was I talked about it. I sometimes can remember exact times that I talk about things, and I'm kind of, I don't know a little i got a little bit of uh old show asperger's or something like that so i was telling you guys about how i was invited to go on my son's bachelor party and i and i said to you guys i said hey i don't think it's a good idea for me to go on this bachelor party with my son and his best buddies and my kid my two other boys you know so they're all going to be in there and

I think I'm rethinking this thing really yeah I'm not surprised yeah I don't know if if Joe

and Jed could come on the air with us I'd be interested to see their perspective on this they wanted me to go and I had said I don't want to go and there was a couple of reasons why I didn't want to do it. Number one, if they do decide to go to like a strip club or something like that, I think it's weird. And that's where I think the thing went. I think it went with parents who go with their kids to strip clubs, which was like when we did it before. I don't want to do that. Like I, first off, I'm not a strip club. I'm way too, you know, sophisticated for strip clubs these days. Right. All right. I used to not be, but now I am. And I'm definitely not one that wants to go to a strip club with joe jacob and luke yeah that's weird jed grant um i'm trying to think of who else is going on this on this thing all of their their friends

that that go on where where where is the bachelor party well this is where it got to the point where i'm now rethinking it they're not going to vegas oh that's right it was vegas oh they're not going

So, no, I was so excited about the fact that they weren't going to Vegas, number one, because I think I have to buy Luke's ticket, and that's a hell of an expensive ticket right now.

Especially with no more Spirit.

Yes. We wouldn't have been flying Spirit anyway. I would have put them on. Because, you know, Spirit cancels half their times that they had it. They're picking a different location for the bachelor party. And because they're picking a different location, I am contemplating that I might make a special guest appearance at the bachelor party. Is the Joe show on with us right now? The Joe show on 93.3 FLZ. Yes. Hi guys. Is that, is everybody else there too? Is Ashley and Katie also with us? Ashley's on a vacation for her birthday and Katie is doing her show for here. Wait a second. So.

Ashley's like one of those millennials or whatever generation that always takes their birthdays off. I didn't realize that.

I think you should take it before. She did it before it was cool. Yeah. Ashley didn't like to work on a birthday. I can see that. Oh, she doesn't.

All right. So I was telling these guys that I'm contemplating that this new bachelor party idea sounds better to me than it did before with going to Vegas. Jed, can you explain where you are taking Joe's bachelor party?

We're going to New Orleans, baby.

Oh, fun.

Yeah. Going to go to the French Quarter. We're going to drink hand grenades, and we're going to get trashed and go to the casino, just like you would in Vegas at a quarter of the price.

Yeah. You come with your own sound effects. I love it. And who's the group of guys that are all going? Because Luke was filling me in on this when I was golfing with him yesterday.

It is Joe, or obviously Joe. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me. Our friend Aaron, Katie Summers' fiancee, Sean, Luke, Jacob, and then our friend Grant. Oh, my God.

Do you want your dad to come? Yeah, I think it'd be fun.

You don't want me to come. That's a not I don't want him to come.

Yeah, I want you to come. No, I would want you to come. I think it would be fun.

I want to come. I feel like Jerry Seinfeld right now. I like the idea of New Orleans because I thought it would be kind of fun to go to New Orleans and be able to do it with my sons, you know what I mean? Although I got to tell you, I'm really shocked that Jacob wants to go on this bachelor party.

I don't think he does.

He's just doing it to be a good brother to you for sure.

Yeah, I think he kind of has to go.

He's sucking it up, yeah.

Yeah.

I would like to know from the listeners, should I go, should I stay or should I go, basically, your thoughts on this? And I haven't even brought it up. Can you call Chelsea, too, and ask Chelsea what her thoughts are on this? Because I'd like to know what Chelsea's thoughts are about me potentially going to New Orleans. Are you guys, Jed, are you?

Well, since you are going, well, maybe going, why should you go? What would make it even better if you were there? That's a great question. Why would you make this even better than what it already is going to be?

Hold on a second. Is this like a contest or something like that, like we've done with listeners?

Yeah, it's kind of like Shark Tank. Ever heard of it?

I have to sell myself to you guys on why I should go. I think I would like to go because I've been to New Orleans at least 10 times.

Have you really?

I know all the good restaurants there, and I do have a higher credit limit than you guys do on your credit cards.

hmm that's i like this play

could you bring weed for michigan if you come

is weed not legal in new orleans no it's not as good as michigan weed are you

wait i feel like anything and everything is legal in new orleans

i don't know weed no prostitute well speaking of what if you see things uh that uh you know aren't so great like uh well Well, that sounds like cheating. No cheating. Yeah, no cheating. Drugs. Whoa. I mean, I don't know if you know who you're talking to. Not bad drugs. Just whatever Luke brings for Michigan Steaks.

No, what I would say is, Aaron, put the drugs down.

We're not talking about anything bad. Just kind of like, you know, mushrooms. Yeah. He's done that before.

I've done mushrooms.

And he loved it. I enjoyed it. No, we're talking about like real mushrooms, like the ones grown from the air. Not the gummies you buy at the gas station. Yeah, the chocolate bars that the grandmas eat.

Listen, you met my friend Amar. I've done real mushrooms. Seriously. Hold on real quick. Your mother is on the phone. Chelsea, are you there? Family meeting. Mm-hmm. Chelsea, we're having a little conversation here with your son.

Yeah, you're too old to go.

Stop. Why am I too old to go?

Because you are. And you're the dad. And just let them go enjoy themselves. And don't worry. Your credit card's going to be used regardless if you're there or not. So it's going to save me money, you not being there.

Mom, do you want to come?

Yes, I'll meet you there.

Yeah. That would probably be the case. The boys do this all the time.

Because they like me better. But it's so inappropriate for you to want to go. Let them go and have fun.

Why is it inappropriate?

Because you're too old. What else would you add to the trip?

Well, you know, I think he's talking. What if what if your mom and I both went your mom and dad on your back?

would that not be the greatest that's so inappropriate no let them go and have fun

hold on courtney what's up courtney hi good morning hi kelsey hi i like fangirl more over

telsey than i do mojo sorry mojo come on so i think what if you did a quick what if you did a quick visit with just the boys and you could do like your own little bachelor party with you

and your three boys so not in new orleans that weekend like a different place actually kind of

a different place and it can be just the three of you can be a boy's trip and then kelsey can go on a girl's trip eventually with his new wife and you guys can have a little boy trip i gotta be honest

with you i don't think it will be as fun just hanging out with joe jacob and luke i think this would be more fun because of jed grant aaron you know those guys you're jealous you have fomo but

you need to get over it i do you're the dad time to move on hey keith what's up it's mojo in the

morning what do you think of this keith oh i hey i was just letting joe know that um i can supply the weed if he needs it

interesting and what else what else why why would you be good to come if we we have open spots. What else would you bring? The vibes? Oh.

You know the chocolate bars?

You know what those are? Yeah, basically anything to, you know, uplift the party.

Jed was just recently... We do need a DD. Yeah. Jed was just recently in Toledo for his best buddies from UT's wedding, right? Who got married, Jed?

Yeah, my buddy Evan got married this last weekend.

Did you cross the border and go buy Michigan weed?

No, they have weed recreational in Ohio now. Oh, they do?

How is Ohio's recreational weed compared to Michigan's?

Just, it's not good. Really? It's not good, no. Because in Michigan, it's like you go and look at the THC percentages, you take one puff and you feel like Willie Nelson hopping off a tour bus. I did not get that feeling when I was in Ohio.

Is this bachelor party about weed, or is it about, wait, because I'm grounding everyone. No one's allowed to go, and this is what it's about.

Chell, see that? I don't even like women. I like, and I don't even like weed.

That's a quick way to not get invited to the bachelor party.

I don't like, I'm not a weed person. You know that. Both, all you guys know that. I don't do weed at all. So I would be there for the cocktails. It'd be fun. It would be nice to go to Shea Paul or get some beignets at Café du Monde.

You have a gluten allergy.

Hold on. Trey, are you there, Trey?

Good morning, Mojo.

Should I be invited to my son's bachelor party?

I absolutely think you should go. This might make you feel a little bit better. But on my 21st birthday, my mother took me to my first strip club.

Oh, my God. Chelsea, why did you not do that for Luke this year?

Well, I guess there's still time for Luke.

Trey, what was that like? Did you get a dance from a stripper in front of your mom?

No. That I did. I refused to do. But, yeah, it was definitely a little weird. Yeah. But it was an amazing time. It was my first time ever going. My mom's like, why not? And I was like, all right. It was not just like me and my mom. It was a bunch of buddies, too. But it was a good time. I recommend you go.

Quick question for you, Trey. Did you get a boner at all while you were there?

Oh, gosh. Well, like I said, I couldn't really get a dance in front of my mom because I felt like that was weird. Just a little.

Because I've got to be honest with you. I think that if my mom were there, there would be no boner. There's no boner happening. What's going on, Mike? How you doing?

I'm good, man. How y'all doing this morning?

Fantastic, Mike. Your thoughts on this?

Bro, Joe, bro. Mojo, bro. He's the wallet. He's going to be your wallet the whole trip.

Well, like Chelsea said, though, even if he doesn't go.

I kind of like this right now. So far, so good. Yeah, weed, mushrooms, money. And boners.

And boners.

And on top of that, it don't hurt to have Dad come along, you know. He's going to be chilling, paying for things, getting a few drinks. And like he says, he knows New Orleans better than anybody who's gone.

Believe me, we're going to go to the, what is the, the Pat O'Brien's. We'll go to Pat O'Brien's where the dueling piano guy is there. So hold on, Ron, last call from you, Ron.

before I get yelled at by Chelsea off the air. What's going on?

Nah, I think you need to go, man, because I can just see you in the back of the strip club with a quarter zip and some capsules on. My God, come on, what are you doing here?

I got him. That is so accurate. Ron, you are not even fun. I appreciate you guys so much. By the way, shout out to Jed, too, because if you listen to the Joe Show and, of course, 93.3 FLZ in Tampa, on the iHeartRadio app. Last week, there was a segment that I listened to where they were giving Jed crap because Jed, they said, was not doing enough planning of this. How the hell did he get roped into this? He's not even the best man. You have two brothers that are best men.

Because Jacob doesn't want to go, and I don't, I mean, Luke's 21. Do you think he'd plan it? Luke would plan a hell of a party.

Jacob does want to go. That's what I got last week, Mojo.

Yeah.

Jacob is a psychologist that has a big boy job that's just started. He doesn't want to go. He wants to support you. And, yeah, Luke needs direction for sure.

But so does Jen.

Your bachelor party would be up at MSU at the fraternity house. Is that what you want?

Harper's. We'd be hanging out at Harper's.

And then I'd let your dad go so he can fall down the stairs again. For sure.

All right. Well, I love you guys. I'll talk to you later. We'll see you soon, hopefully, in New Orleans

Wait, can someone make another weed comment? I couldn't find my button Can one more person make a weed comment?

Yeah Somebody just texted in and said that Jed's absolutely right The weed in Ohio is weak

Stay off the weed

Okay, there you go No, no, I like the one better

What is that? Where is it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, yes, yes, yes. You're talking about pho? Yeah. Here, hold on. Say something. Go ahead. Say something.

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and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, A-O, Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Lewis Bake Shop has spent more than 100 years rising early, baking fresh and feeding families. Since 1925, Lewis Bake Shop's been more than just bread. Find Lewis Bake Shop in your local retailer today or at lewisbakeshop.com.