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Hey guys, Bobby Bones here, host of The Bobby Bones Show. I'm always tired because I wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning, but it's all worth it because I get to hang out with all my friends and my studio. We share our lives. We look for as much good in the world as we possibly can with Tell Me Something Good, and we talk through the biggest news stories of the day, and also your biggest and favorite country artists are always stopping by. On the Gulf Coast, check us out on 95KSJ, and lock us in as a preset on the free iHeartRadio app today.

All right. Mojo in the morning. This text was funny. It came during the dirty after I was talking about, can you have a honeymoon a year after you get married and also on a second marriage? And Jordy says the honeymoon turned into a vacation when Shannon started her period. I don't even know if we call it vacation at that point she talked about that yesterday on the podcast that was great alright it's Mojo in the morning show my wife is in with us Chelsea by the way Chelsea I forgot to tell you this I don't know if you saw but the conversation that we talked about the other day on the air that is with our podcast this week on the We Don't podcast blew up on social media

I saw that

It's got like over 150,000 views on Instagram and even way more than that with Facebook. But it's the whole thing about couples that are going through their coasting time. And then we also talked about menopause, which we're going to get into that a little bit more on a future We Don't podcast, which that blew it up, I think. I think because so many women.

Very relatable for women.

Never talk about that. So check out that We Don't podcast. It's on the iHeartRadio app. Just search Mojo We Don't, and you can hear the podcast with Chelsea and I. Chelsea is in studio with us this morning. My wife is in studio this morning. Kevin, you know we have a son that is getting married. I do. How excited are you guys? Joe is getting married. I'm not excited because I think it's going to cost me some money. Okay. So I'm not. No, I'm excited. I'm excited for him. We're very, very excited for him. Although I got to be honest with you. I'm wondering about him because he and Alyssa, his fiance, have not really been doing a lot for planning. And they, like, everybody keeps asking me, do you have a date? Do you have a date?

When it's a wedding, yeah.

And there's no date yet. I think now they're starting to look at venues.

They're looking at venues. So then they will decide on a date.

Okay. Is that typically how it goes? You find a venue and then based on their schedule? Yes.

Okay.

I think nowadays it's hard to find venues, especially because everything is so expensive. And then also everything is, you know, tough where people are, you know, so many people are trying to have weddings. But so Chelsea has a question to ask the listeners about this coming from the mother of the groom perspective.

Right, right.

What's your question?

So my question is how involved am I supposed to be? Because Joe and I, I'm sure he has said before, Tom, Mojo has said before, sorry. that joe and i talk all the all the time we're very super close and so they had asked me to come out and view a couple of the venues with them and then he'll say and alissa wants you to come when she looked when she's looking for her dress and alissa wants your opinion on this and this and this and i am very opinionated so ask me and i'll give it however there has to be a line i'm the mother of the groom and i want to respect that i don't want to step on anyone's toes or overstep any boundaries and it's really hard when you have a child that is asking for your input but what is my line has just joe asked you so alissa when i was there recently i you know asked them okay what what is your budget what are you guys because i think they're still in the exciting phase at the very beginning of oh we're gonna you know get married and do this and but there is no real i don't know if someone is sitting then sitting them down and saying okay what is your budget have you figure that out first there are steps to this figure out your budget then you look at venues then you because they are paying for Thank you.

majority of their wedding we are doing what the groom pays for so flowers a bar rehearsal dinner we're doing all the traditional things um but they're responsible for the rest is that a wedding

planner's job to like sit down and figure out that budget stuff i i don't i don't think they're

gonna get a wedding planner because i think that would cost them money will cost money yeah i here's here's the thing and i it's funny you said hey you i wanted to bring up a topic this morning and it dealt with the wedding and God, I was worried that you were going to say you're going to pay for the whole wedding. I was like, no, but I, um, I think that this is something that you have to be really careful with in the dynamic. I think that we have with Alyssa, um, we're close with Joe and Alyssa. Like we see them a lot. We aren't really that close with Alyssa's family. Cause we just don't know them very well i've met her mom twice and i think that you don't ever want to overstep

the bounds of her as the mom their day this is their time this is their moment yes but it's she's very close with her mother very close and i do not want to step on anyone's toes yeah i don't want to but it's hard literally every day he'll say mom what do you think about this mom what do you and it's hard and i tell him all the time i i am the mother of the ground was her mom there with y'all when y'all checked out the venues or i haven't looked at a venue with them they just looked at their first venue the other night okay and i don't know if her mom was there or not the

interesting thing is i felt like oftentimes in these type of situations or when this conversation is brought up it's kind of the opposite where you'll see the mother being overbearing and not realizing there's a line until you're way past it it's kind of interesting to say that you're the one that's kind of drawing the line and trying to figure out where it is i want to listen when he

got engaged i said the day that you walk down that aisle i'm not number one because this whole thing is you're my number one you're my number one i said the the day that you get married she's your number one yeah you guys have there has to be uh and so i'm super super aware and i'm trying to be very conscious of what i say and what i do because i don't want to ruin anything and here's

the the issue i think you hear all these stories about the overbearing mother-in-law yeah sometimes i wonder if the overbearing mother-in-law ever gets led down the path like chelsea's getting led down where the groom is saying hey i want you to be more involved you know and in i think joe saying that sometimes i think he's looking at in trying to make your feelings right be part of this right and i don't necessarily one i i don't think that joe this is just my gut my gut is i think joe would love for everybody to love each other and that's it, because he's like me. He's kind of a big fat pussy, but you know what I mean?

So true.

But I think that he also needs to be careful because I think that he just wants to make everybody happy that he's got to make sure he's checking with Alyssa, and I don't necessarily know if that's the case, but Mackenzie, hey, how involved should Chelsea be as the mother of the groom, as the mother of Joe?

So, first off, first time, long time. Hey, there. Lindsay on the phone. And I got married two years ago, but I feel like it's a little bit of a different dynamic because my now mother-in-law and my mom were really good friends.

Okay.

However, Chelsea being the mother of the groom, she doesn't have a daughter. So, I feel like this still, I feel like the mother of the bride kind of steals the spotlight. But, Chelsea, you should still be as involved as they let you be because this is your moment, too. I feel like it's a big deal, like your first son getting married.

That's actually an interesting thing because we don't have any daughters.

Yeah.

Exactly. So did you...

This is a big thing for your whole family, too.

So your husband's mom was a part of things with your mom because of the friendship?

Yes and no. I love my mother-in-law with my whole heart. But she still came to, like, my dress bidding. Did you run her there? My mom and my mother-in-law. Yes, I did.

You did? Okay.

She's a very, yeah, she is one that she's not super, she's not going to tell me yes or no unless I ask her things. So with my dress, she stayed very quiet until I asked, like, okay, truly be honest, what do you think? And then she would tell me. So I feel like that helped. I feel like I wasn't afraid to upset her at all. Okay.

Yeah. That's cool. No, that's a cool perspective, although it is different than this one because, like we said, with Joe's fiance, we don't really know the family as well because they're down in Florida. What's up, Teresa?

Good morning, Chelsea. Good morning.

What about the rest of us?

So, Teresa, she said what she said.

Hi, Kevin. Good morning.

Oh, screw them. The mother of the son here. Okay, perfect. Thank you.

What's going on?

So, I have two sons, and they both got married, and so obviously I was the mother of the sons, and two totally different females, but you can only be as involved as you feel comfortable and as they ask you. You do kind of have to step back a little bit. However, your opinion does matter. And I'm very opinionated also, so I get where you're coming from. Okay. And you'll know. You'll feel it. You'll feel when they kind of are like the first one was girly. And so, you know, it's mom and daughter type thing. But they will involve you, especially if you have a friendship with them. And just try to stay with that line of the friendship.

Teresa, I got to ask you a question. What did you guys take care of? Like I'm wondering, I always wonder. What did you do?

We did part of the venue, and then we did the alcohol. Okay. But the venue came with the food, and we did open bar, but we did, like, wine, certain liquors, and then beer.

Yeah. How much did it cost you? Because I'm wondering. I'm just kidding.

Well, this was about 10 years ago. So things have changed.

Things are nuts right now. Before the tariffs. That's right. Damn tariffs. Trump, what's up with the tariffs on weddings? What's up? Krista is a bride. This is a good one. Okay, this is what we need. So, Krista, say hello to Chelsea.

Hey, Chelsea. Hi.

The mother of the groom. And what are your thoughts on this one as the bride? So you're in Alyssa's shoes on this.

Yes. So, yeah, I kind of have the opposite issue where my mom, she's kind of the bridezilla. and she's trying to kind of do everything be a part of everything where me and my fiance are kind of very laid back about all of this um so the thing we kind of settled on is we made kind of a three-way group chat so that way we're all involved in every decision or every thing she mentions or anything that we mention um and then we also just kind of had a day where we all went out and ate food obviously this was like closer to when we're um about to get married and his parents my parents we all sat down we all talked about everything they just were on the same page um but having the group chat and everything was great because then you know we were all involved and then we also kind of had to set the boundary of let us tell you what we need versus her constantly worrying about trying to do everything but her is your mother right

not the mother my mother yeah okay how was his mom yeah uh his mom's just hanging in the background

also waiting for us to have needs um she's really laid back about it and she was she was good you you appreciated that yes yeah i appreciate them just kind of being there saying we're here if you need me just tell me what you need um because otherwise it seems like if they're constantly like oh here let me help you let me help you let me help you i was stressed the heck out i wonder

how often in these type of situations where that parent is trying to live vicariously through their child and trying to make their child's wedding what they wish theirs were was that was that your

mom oh 100 because she's a very um traditional catholic wedding girl and me and my fiance are like we could get married in the backyard and like oh that's another story where did you get

married did you get married at a church or did you get married because that's another no no yeah

we found a venue that was um kind of outdoors in a woodsy area a little bit up north which is super pretty um so yeah it wasn't and it wasn't traditional at all we maybe hurt some feelings but she at the end did respect you know this is your wedding so yeah yeah yeah uh joe uh joe saw

some place that he wanted to have the wedding and he wanted to just do the whole ceremony there too and chels and i were like no church like there's not going to be a church you know like yeah you

know we were kind of thinking that where do i keep my mouth shut yes that's a whole nother

conversation yeah disappointing your parents and just doing what you want to do but it's not about us but y'all y'all say that well i mean i feel like i feel like you do a good job of like making your point known but then also shutting up when you realize that you know because it's their life though you know it's hard and and somebody like joey doesn't want to disappoint

you because he loves you also well if he doesn't get married in a church it's not really a marriage but I'm just kidding. Meg, what's going on? Online ordained minister.

What's up, Meg? So I had the opposite. My mother-in-law was super overbearing and I got to the point where I ended up saying, if you're not paying for it, you can't have an opinion. It was just too much. Okay. And they weren't paying for any, well, it didn't go well, but they weren't paying for anything. Really? So it was all on my parents.

They didn't give you guys any help at all?

No, they paid like $900, and that was it.

Why is that? Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Say it one more time.

I got excited about that. I want to know if I can get out of paying for something. Kevin and I both want to know why it was that they only paid for $900.

I have no idea, and to be honest, it was really hurtful because they paid for their other daughter's wedding full scale, and they paid a whole $40,000.

Do you think they didn't like you? Did they not have money?

daughter versus son yeah right i think so maybe but like they're very traditional too and but the problem was is that yes you can be traditional but they only paid for desserts they didn't pay for the bar they didn't they paid for the rehearsal dinner but we had a really small wedding our wedding was not over the top so we asked we just said hey could we have like five to ten grand they didn't even they said no to that could they not afford it oh no they can afford it okay well I'm just trying to think of different reasons, yeah. Yeah, and you know, I don't know if they don't like me, that doesn't really matter, but to me it was about their son, not me.

Wait, do you think they don't like you?

We have very big differences, but I think it's hard because we don't, they live out of state.

How do they treat you now? That's us, by the way. We're out of state, and I always worry, I don't want Alyssa to think that we don't like her because of the involvement of the wedding. Like, I don't want that to ever come into play.

I think it's very different because I think, you know, for me, his sister was always making our weddings a competition because I got engaged first. And the second I got engaged, I'm going to be married before you. And that really hurt me. And so I think, you know, there was a lot going on behind the scenes, I think. And then I kind of built that distance between us because I was so hurt.

That's accountability.

Which, by the way, the parents should have squashed that.

I mean, it's not a competition. It is everyone has their own day.

you know? Yeah. And, and it wasn't like that at all. And my family is the very opposite. Like my mom is very much like you, Chelsea, where she'd be like, no, that is not okay. Like that is not appropriate. Yeah. Where his mom is very Southern, very like, Oh no, it's okay. So I think that's a big difference. But I would say for my opinion, if you just talk to Alyssa, cause that's what I wish his mom would have done to me. Be like, so what do you need from me? Okay. That's what I wish. Because then I could have said, look Like, I need that space with my mom. Right. But then I got to the point where I think I was so frustrated and upset that I was like, you can't have an opinion unless you're paying because everything was an opinion. Meg. And I was overwhelmed.

Is it bad that Chelsea and I are going to renew our vows at their wedding?

Renewing our vows. Honestly, go for it.

He's going to have it.

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