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Ice Cube's Big 3 basketball is heating up. Before the World Cup final, tune in to Big 3 this Sunday. Reigning MVP Michael Beasley and the defending champion Miami 305 play a must-win game against the undefeated Dallas Power, led by coach Nancy Lieberman. Then Dwight Howard and the L.A. Riot, coming fresh off a win, look to knock off the undefeated Chicago Triplets, led by coach Dr. J. The game played the way you love. Watch live Sunday on CBS at 2 p.m. Eastern, 11 a.m. Pacific, and catch replays Monday on BET. Presented by iHeart.

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mojo on the morning show show you how exciting my life is a lot of people think that we lead very exciting lives yesterday i actually went to the mall with my wife just to sit in that chair that's usually the one chair off in the stores that the husbands or boyfriends sit in. Did you ever notice that they always have like a one chair and it's usually there's a guy sitting in the chair? And back in the day when I lived an exciting life, I hated going to the mall with my wife. Now, if she goes to the mall and she doesn't take me with, even if she's just going to return things that she ordered online, I get very upset. I get very sad. But what are you doing while you're sitting there? Usually on my phone, looking at Instagram or Facebook, which is stuff I could do at home. But at least I'm out in a public place getting to see people.

It's the best people watching. It is the absolute, because there's other husbands there. And usually you can either chat with them or you can people watch as they try to go through the shoe shopping experience with their wives. When it's a bench, I actually will talk to them.

Like, it's not just a chair or if it's like a whole little what looks like living room set that they'll have there where, like, you can have a group of guys. So she brought you. Yeah, she brought me. So what do you got going on? You're like, oh, I don't know. What do you think it's Super Bowl? I don't know what's going on. And then all of a sudden it's the, Tom, I've got to go. All right, Tom, we're out of here.

It's like you were called up to the team. Yeah, I'm in. Tag me in.

But so yesterday I witnessed something very interesting. So I went to her with her to Nordstrom's. And by the way, the shoe department at Nordstrom's is an amazing shoe department. Is it? If you're a woman.

Oh.

Guys' shoe department's not as exciting as the woman's. The woman's one on a weekend sometimes, they even have a loudspeaker and they go, looking for Janice now, Janice. Like if it gets sometimes crowded in there.

Really?

Yes. The guy's department's not like that at all. They don't have their own little, you know, AV equipment that they can make announcements at. But yesterday, I'm sitting down, and I'm waiting for Chelsea as she's looking at something. And I hear a woman say to the guy that was selling, it was a male guy, a salesperson, could you do me a favor? Could you tie those shoes? I'm so sorry. My boobs are too big. I cannot tie my shoes. I understand. I have never in my life ever been so happy to hear something like that. She had such large breasts that her boobs got in the way of her tying her shoes.

You wouldn't believe what the boobs get in the way of.

They look like 36 Ds to me.

I mean, does that happen, though? That's amazing.

Yes, all of the time. I literally one time bent over so fast to put my shoes on. I ricocheted my own boobs into my face and gave myself whiplash.

You got a concussion.

Yeah, literally.

We're going to pull you out of the game for a while. You're going under the tent. Is that what they do, Mike? Yes.

My boobs will slap my knees and then jump right back up at my face.

Okay.

Could I do this and open it up to fellow boob ladies out there? My boobs are so big, I can't do blank. Would you call us up and tell us?

I have so many inappropriate ones. We should have done this at, like, nine.

Those aren't boobs. They're lies. They get in their way in the bedroom, too?

No, not even that. Just, like, even shaving your legs. You tuck them under your arms, and you try to hold them down under your armpits. Oh, I didn't think about that. Yeah.

Wow. Hey, man. Sometimes my big belly and my beer belly gets in the way.

844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548.

When I'm shaving my legs.

Jay wants to talk about going shopping at the mall or shopping in the store with a chair. What's going on, Jay?

Hey, Mojo. Long time listener. I've been listening to you guys for a long time. Oh, thank you, Mojo. But I wanted to say, like, it's my wife now, but when she was my girlfriend, we all dating. I mean, my wife, every time I go shopping for undergarments with her, there's always a chair outside of Victoria's Secret or Aries or somewhere all the guys are sitting or the women are inside the store.

Yes, and they're massage chairs sometimes, right?

Yep, exactly. You'll notice every Victoria's Secret has a massage chair like six sets out by.

That's smart because they know as long as you'll sit, they can shop longer.

Yeah. My favorite is I am – and this actually makes me feel good because it makes me feel like I'm the youngest person. I'm usually the youngest person at 12 Oaks Mall in that little area where there's the outside.

Yeah. No, not necessarily the player. Oh, the comment where all the old men are sitting. The old guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're usually a bunch of old, like, Albanian dudes that are all hanging out there. And me. What's up, guys? How you doing? What's going on, Nicole?

Good morning, guys. How are you?

We're doing great. My boobs are so big, I can't do blank.

Oh, my God. I can't get them into my sports bra when I get out of the shower. Yes. It's like two freaking muffins just, like, you know, like they just won't go in. I have to call my husband into the bathroom, and then he's looking at me like I'm an idiot because I'm stuck in my own DM sports bra.

Do you know how many times I've ended up sitting on the side of the tub with my arms stuck above my head because I cannot get my bra on? I got winded one time. My Apple watch was like, are you working out right now?

No, it's just humid. I wonder if there's anybody that's ever had to go to an orthopedic doctor or something like that because they rotate or cuff or something

like that. I'm sure. I had major back surgery. I had final fusion surgery. I could not wear a bra for like months because just to attempt it was like it was like running a marathon it was not pretty

and it was not fun wow um angela thank you for the call by the way angela my boobs are so big

i can't uh so i was saying that um you would probably be surprised to know that us with big boobs we cannot touch our elbows together interesting i don't think i can't oh i can't

When I go to pray, I've got to put them above my boots. What are you praying for? Salvation.

I need it.

Kristen, what's happening? It's Mojo in the Morning.

Hi. Hey. Good morning, everyone. So I actually, I am large-chested, but evidently I am not able to sleep without getting into trouble.

Oh.

On Friday morning.

When you're cleaning the floor, are you just exposing yourself?

No, I was down to sleep And all of a sudden I get this elbow into my boob I'm sorry, you said sleep

I thought she said sleep

No, sleeping My husband somehow just came around with his elbow And just slammed right through my boob to my ribs

Oh boy It starts Amber, what's going on?

Hey, how are you?

We're doing great, we're talking about big boobs What else is there to talk about on a day like today?

Oh, well not only being big breasted, but I'm also short, so I have a hard time reaching things on the top shelf and my boobs always get in the way, so I got to use the salad tongs.

I love it. God love you, Amber. Thank you for calling and admitting that.

Thanks. You guys have a wonderful day.

You take care of yourself. Appreciate it.

So Megan, do you wear a bra to sleep for comfort or do you let them loose?

No, if I let them loose, I will probably suffocate, so I got to Contain them I am one of the weird people I sleep in an underwire bra Oh my gosh Everybody Like I know girls right now Are like I'm so sorry Thank you I appreciate it

Hope

Yes hello

Hey what's going on

Oh not too much You guys are cracking me up. I used to go to the bar a lot when I was younger, and I was constantly, like, pressed in with people, and I wouldn't notice that my boobs would be resting on them.

Oh, really? You can't feel it?

Yeah, they'd be like, oh, sorry, I hit your boob. Oh, didn't even know.

Dude, okay, I'm so glad you said this, because I, for the longest time, thought something was wrong with me, because I literally couldn't feel when people were touching my boobs. Definitely. And it's very common in large-chested girls, like, at a certain point, because I think it's because we bump into everything with them, your brain is just like, oh, we don't need to worry about that anymore. Yep, I always had a circle from the bottom of my beard,

because it was always...

Ice Cube's Big 3 basketball is heating up. Before the World Cup final, tune in to Big 3 this Sunday. Reigning MVP Michael Beasley and the defending champion Miami 305 play a must-win game against the undefeated Dallas Power, led by Coach Nancy Lieberman. Then Dwight Howard and the L.A. Riot, coming fresh off a win, look to knock off the undefeated Chicago Triplets, led by Coach Dr. J. The game played the way you love. Watch live Sunday on CBS at 2 p.m. Eastern, 11 a.m. Pacific, and catch replays Monday on BET. Presented by iHeart.

Hey, Portlandia fans.

Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised not just words, but a song.

Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, AAO Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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