Muse

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All right, it is the Emojo in the morning show. Mike, you say you get anxiety when you do this at the gym.

Yeah, I don't know why. It makes me feel the most awkward in the entire world, and I have no idea why. It's completely normal. But when you go to the gym and you're done at a machine and you go to clean it, which you should. You should clean it every time. and it's gross if you don't, and you go to spray the cloth or whatever, and you go to wipe it down, but then you wipe down the handles. Yep. I don't know why it's the weirdest thing in the entire world. I always try to do it with open palms. Like, I don't even try to close my hands ever, and then I won't look around.

Because it's spallic or what?

I guess. I don't know, man. You're molesting the machine. Yeah. Well, the worst is when you make eye contact with somebody while you're doing it, and you're like, oh, geez, this is so uncomfortable. I don't know why it's uncomfortable. I don't know why it's weird, but it makes me feel weird to clean those machines.

You are 100% right But why is that? Because it looks like you're butter in the corn As a girl especially It's really awkward too

Do you guys do it fast? I don't mean it like that But you know what I mean

Can I tell you something? It's not for me that reason why it is But I always feel like People are looking at me to make sure That I have wiped down every square inch Of that thing that I have Oh, yeah. Yes. Sweat over.

Tuck the buttons. Yeah.

Honestly, there have been times where I feel like I wash that. Actually, not times, all the time. I wash that more than I actually wash things in my house. I feel like the reason is people are watching you. They're hovering and watching you. And it's so funny that you say this, Mike, because it's always washing that or wiping it down. And there's the person from the gym right there doing some kind of a cleaning thing or sitting there staring at you at that time.

Yeah, with a vacuum, just like if you don't do it well enough, I'm going to have to do it, so you better do it good.

Yeah, judging you the whole time. 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548. What are the normal things that are awkward as hell to do? The normal things that you do that are just awkward to do?

I have two. One's oddly specific, and you'll laugh at me. And then one, I think you'll all agree with me on. The specific one is the walk back after bowling. After you bowled and you've got to walk back to the group in the seat and you're just like, I don't know, I just feel like I just did this silly little dance in front of everybody.

Yes, everybody does a dance or some sort of move.

Yeah, I don't know what to do. It's just awkward. But the one that I think everybody will agree on and we just need to come together as a society and put an end to this is the happy birthday singing. Oh, my God, I hate it. You just have to sit there awkwardly while the whole room is staring at you and singing off key. And videotaping you sometimes.

So you don't like being sung to.

I don't like either, and neither does anybody else. Nobody likes singing. Nobody likes being sung to. So let's end the tradition.

The song is not cheerful.

It's depressing.

I'm sitting there contemplating my existence. All I want to do is eat the cake, but I gotta wait 45 seconds.

And the weird, the awkward thing is, nobody knows what to call the person that they're wishing a happy birthday to, because they'll go, they'll go, like, they'll call them, like, whatever name it is. Like President Biden.

Happy birthday, dear.

Happy birthday. It's like, let's just stop that song.

It's not even cheerful. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Right here is where you realize, You know what mine is?

And I realized this the other day. And actually I have to go like today. When you get a pedicure and they take that sander thing and they, they file the bottom of your heels and you're giggling. No, not even that. If crap is fallen, if skin is falling and it's a lot, I'm always looking around. I'm like, am I being judged because my feet are so horrific? I hate that so much.

See, that's funny that you say that because it's also, for me, the pedicure part. But it's at the end of the whole thing when you're trying to put your shoes back on. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like you don't know.

And the chair's too tall to, like, reach your shoes and your foot. And you don't want to put the dirty shoe on the nice, clean chair.

Or have you ever had it when the person smacks your calves?

I love that. I'm so embarrassed. It's like, oh, my God. Bye. Slap me harder, please. I just love it. Mojo in the morning. What's going on, Izzy?

Hi there.

Hey. What's happening? We're talking right now about normal things that are awkward as hell.

Yeah. So when I go to the grocery store and I'm buying cucumbers, I just squeeze them to make sure they're not soft. That's true. I'm trying that so awkward.

Yeah. I think feeling any fruit or vegetable, even when I'm checking the avocados or something, I feel like it's the same as when the doctor's checking me for some sort of testicular cancer. The prostate exam or something, right? I'm like, I'm molesting this fruit. I just want to, I don't want it to rot before I go home.

Do you, Izzy, when that happens and you're like sitting there at the store doing that, do you look around to see if other people are looking at you at that particular time?

I do. I do. And like clockwork, there's always like a Kroger employee there like watching me. Yes.

It's the eye contact. And by the way, it's the same person that's vacuuming at Planet Fitness at that time.

And also at the grocery store, if I ever use a self-checkout, I feel like I have to make it very obvious that I am scanning each item and putting it into the bag.

I'm not stealing anything.

Because they're right there. Yeah, I'm not stealing anything.

I like this one here. It's very awkward eating a burrito or buying toilet paper. and actually eating the burrito makes you have to go buy the toilet paper what's up mary how you

doing i'm still laughing from the burrito comment right now that's hilarious why don't they sell

them as a package right give me the burrito and the toilet paper i'm gonna need it that is too

funny yeah no and also i was saying walking back from the bathroom when you're at work it does not matter how long you're in there yeah everyone knows where you're at and what you're doing and

it's just super uncomfortable yes it's do you by the way talking about walking back from the bathroom at work mine is i always get stopped walking into the bathroom you know what i mean because of our we have offices oh yeah that's what but do you ever feel awkward when you are pushing your cart right out of a grocery store for some reason it's the crossing the traffic area there that makes me feel so awkward with the pushing the cart to go into the parking lot to

go to my uh car i don't mind that you know that you're gonna have something in there that may go off yeah thank you stealing so i now show my receipt to everybody that i know it needs to be

everything needs to be like costco or walmart where you have the person at the door that you can show it to michelle what's up hi good morning hey how you doing what's something that's normal

but it's awkward as hell um walking out of a store when you haven't bought anything I didn't feel anything I just feel like the sensor's going to go off Or something like did I accidentally feel something

Yes

I feel like everybody's looking at you

This texter has a great one It's awkward waiting for your dog To poop while you're on a walk

Yes And especially if it's on a neighbor's yard Because if you're thinking everybody's staring at you Seeing if you're going to

You start waving the bag around like a flag Like I'm going to clean this up I have a bag

Do you guys find it awkward when you're buying things at the back of the store in the pharmacy, but not in the front of the store? I'm not awkward buying something up in the front of the store. But when I'm buying stuff with the pharmacist, you know how you get your prescription, but then you have other items that you want to buy? I feel like the pharmacist, because they're a pharmacist, they're looking at me as I'm buying.

all this candy and crap it's like um is there a reason why uh you're needing this medication yes because i'm buying all this other stuff what's up katie hi mojo hi what's awkward

so for me it's pumping gas when it's really busy and you've got people waiting on you and they're just staring at you while you're standing there pumping gas i can't even look him in the eye i will avoid eye contact at all i don't do you have a membership at costco i don't know i we don't have a costco near me like this one's like 45 minutes all right so

let me tell you this so costco there's lines of cars waiting just to save like you know 25 cents or something like that and the worst feeling is when the guy next to you has a car with a smaller tank than you have and that guy goes or the guy in front of you or back of you you know depending on how you're doing it and they're done in your tank like i have a tahoe so my tank's a little big if you know what i mean that's what she said no one of those i don't know you look slow yeah so now i'm like i i sit there the whole time going oh god please just hurry up fill up fill up fill up uh julie this is a good one what where do you feel awkward i feel so awkward when i'm at the

movies and i have to leave the movie theater for whatever during the movie and then like coming back and having to walk up the steps back to my seat yes especially when your eyes don't

adjust and you can't even figure out where your family's sitting

uh lisa what's going on hi everybody so for me my thing is when we go as a girl to get your oil changed, and the guy, they do everything. At the end, they show you the little stick and say, here it is. And it's like, you know that I don't know.

Every time we saw.

Yes. You could have not changed my oil, and I'd be like, yep, looks good.

That's great. And Dave, last one here. What's the awkward thing?

By pulling a door when it clearly says push when you walk through it.

Lifetime achievement award.

Or do you guys ever get awkward when you walk through the doors that are the what are those things called? The revolving doors?

Megan and I, when we went to the hotel the other night after, Megan, were you with me? Oh my god, we got stuck because we're idiots. We got stuck. We were pushing it and we didn't realize it was automatic. Oh god.

I hate those doors. I hate those doors where you have to walk a certain area and it keeps moving

and stuff and then it stops on you my dad has those into his apartment building and i was carrying a bag in and i literally face planted into the door because it was locked and then got

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