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Mojo in the morning. I know that a parent is never supposed to have favorites, but this actually is probably my favorite. I love this phone scam that you're doing for classic phone scam Friday here. I still remember when he did it The laughter in the studio And the tears that everybody had After Ali Was phone scammed The taxi dispatcher At the airport Spike scammed to complain About the smelly cab

You're home with the phone scams

Hi baby can I ask you a question

This is Mojo in the morning Can I help you?

Yeah, let me speak to someone of authority because I got a complaint to file. Where are you calling from? I'm calling from the hospital. I'm in the hospital because of one of your drivers.

Okay. Who's this? What is this cab number?

I don't know the cab number. I blacked out. Was it you driving? How come you won't tell me your name? I have never smelled. Listen to this. I almost came very close to dying of asphyxiation because your driver smelled so bad. I got put in the hospital. I've never smelled a more hard human stench in my life.

Where did we pick you up? Where did he pick you up?

I don't even know who I'm talking to. What part of complaint don't you understand, jackass? What's your name? Where did he pick you up at? At the airport.

And where did he drop you?

I got off the side of the road. I didn't even get all the way to work. I get out of the cab. I'm paying him, which I never should have done in the first place. I collapsed and I passed out from the smell. I hit my head on the fire plug on the side of the road. Where did you get my number? I got your number from the sign in the a***** airport.

Then just go to the emergency room.

What are you, Superman? You won't tell me your identity? Go to the emergency room and take care of yourself. I'm in the hospital already. You don't listen to a word I say. I'm in the hospital. I woke up this morning in the hospital. I got 29 stitches in my head. I got a fractured skull, a myocardiofractiliation or something like that. I got an impacted number four, number five vertebrae, detached retina, bruising, simple halitosis, gingivitis, and all this other stuff. You might as well die over there. Oh, I'm glad you're getting a good kick out of this. I hit my head on the fire plug, lights out, unconscious, good night. Did somebody push you? You don't understand what I'm saying. Your driver stunk so bad I passed out. Were you drunk? No, I'm sober. Were you an a**hole? Do you encourage your drivers to bathe?

You have to stop drinking. That's what happens when you drink too much.

You know, you're a rotten turd. You're really making me feel bad about myself. You got to tell you guys, they could peel paint off the walls because they smell so bad.

Do you smoke weed or something? How can you just black out and fall down and hit your head?

Your driver had the horrid human stench of dead skunks in the road. It ain't funny, ch**s. I hit my head on the fire plug. 29 stitches. Sorry, okay?

Tell them to... No, you're not sorry.

If you're sorry, you'd be apologizing and you'd be asking for the spelling of my last name to write me a f**king check for the medical expenses.

I'm not writing nothing down.

You are, and I'm coming down to pick it up as soon as I get out of the hospital.

You better come here. I have to take an alcohol test to make sure you are not drunk. Who? Breath lighter test to make sure you are not drunk.

A breathalyzer test. You do a breathalyzer test on that driver of yours, it's going to...

Break the f***ing machine. Let me tell you something. I met animals at the zoo that smelled better than that a**hole. It ain't funny. You sit in the car with them with the windows rolled up. My eyes were watering. What is your phone number? My phone number is 686-1-4. Okay. And your name? My name's Seymour Skinner. S as in smelly, K-I-N as in nasal abuse, E as in... Oh, God, it stinks, and R as in wretched. What were you doing at the airport? What the hell business is that of yours? I should have been buying one of those little pine tree air fresheners for the driver. So what do you want me to do for you today? I want a check for my medical expenses, and I want a friendly smile and an apology. Okay. I have to investigate this, and I'll get back to you. That investigation will take 20 seconds. Go smell the cabs. Yeah, all I have to do is, you know, find which driver. I want you to apologize to me right now. Huh? I want your apology. I don't even know if you're lying to me. Who the hell would make up something like this? We live in a dangerous world out there. Dangerous for passengers without a can of Lysol in their luggage. Yeah. You didn't even tell me your name. I don't even know who I'm talking to. You want to know my name? Yeah, I want to know your name. My name is Jack. Oh, I see how this is going to be. Oh, my God. Well, if your name is Jack, then let me just say this. You've just been phone scammed, Jack.

we will we will scam you if i could say anything i wanted to i say that was funny right there i don't care who you are it's the home of the world famous phone scams

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