Muse

Hey guys, Bobby Bones here, host of The Bobby Bones Show. I'm always tired because I wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning, but it's all worth it because I get to hang out with all my friends and my studio. We share our lives. We look for as much good in the world as we possibly can with Tell Me Something Good, and we talk through the biggest news stories of the day, and also your biggest and favorite country artists are always stopping by. On the Gulf Coast, check us out on 95KSJ, and lock us in as a preset on the free iHeartRadio app today.

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all right mojo in the morning show so i went on a uh little call yesterday we do these calls where we visit you know our great people that advertise and yesterday's was visiting clean view auto wash and frank toma who made a huge domain donation he was actually one of our top donators to breaking and entering christmas wish and he's got a new location on shaner road that's amazing that's going to be opening in like in the next few weeks that has indoor uh vacuums oh that's a game isn't that a game changer honestly yes that's really nice so i went with uh lydia and for those that don't know this lydia who answers your phones is uh the head of breaking and entering christmas wish she does uh breaking and entering christmas wish for us and she's uh very compassionate with our our you know people that we give money to and and you know gifts and help pay their bills but She's also even more compassionate with the people who give us the money because we need the money. We need the money to be able to get for you. So she came out with me yesterday, and we had fun. It was nice to be able to catch up with those guys. Well, then afterwards, I had to leave and go home. And for those in Grand Rapids and Toledo, I live probably about 50 minutes or 55 minutes from where this is over. And is that Shelby Township? Is that where we were? Or Sterling Nights?

It was Shelby Township, yeah.

Shelby, yeah. So long story short, again, I'm doing lots of long stories today because I'm a little bit tired from lack of sleep. I had to pee really bad on the way home off of Hall Road. The traffic was a nightmare. It was crazy. It was even longer. It took me well over an hour. And I didn't want to pull off the road. I was thinking, I can make it. I can make it. I can make it. Well, I could not make it. And I don't know if you have ever been faced with this before. I found a water bottle, which is the water that I drink. I drink smart waters. I found a big smart water bottle. And while I was driving at two miles an hour or whatever it was in wall-to-wall traffic, I peed in the bottle.

Oh, no. That takes some finagling and aim.

On Hull Road. Actually, it was on M59. So, yeah, so when it turned into Highway Park, when it got really bad, there was an accident.

I never want to hear about people eating or doing their makeup while driving ever again if you peed while driving. Yes.

Well, let me just say this to you, Shannon and Megan and all the ladies of the show, KP, Lydia. This is the one time where being a guy is actually a good thing. Yeah. You can actually, you can do this. And I did not get any of it on the water bottle. There was no drippage, no leakage, no nothing. I even took a picture and sent it to you guys. Yeah, thank you for that.

And that was the worst part when I'm scheduling the topics looking at somebody's jug of pee. Why?

It could be lemonade. It could be water with electrolytes inside.

It was fizzy. I hope you threw that away.

You act like you're like miles from civilization on M59. I mean, you could have pulled off any exit.

Mike was going to stick up for me. Go ahead, Mike. What were you going to say?

No, I was not. The top of that water bottle is not very big. That's what I say.

That's a two-hand job to be that precise. So one hand was not on the steering wheel.

Michael? You have a little penis. I'm sorry. But has anybody ever had to do this, and what is the best thing to pee in? And then I wanted to ask this question, and I know we've got people that are listening with possible eating breakfast, so we'll keep it kind. Anybody ever have to go number two and did it in their car? How do you do that? No.

No, no, please don't call. Or on the side of the road. We really want that. Although I did poop in a Dunkin Donuts box one time, but I wasn't in my car. You did? Yeah, because I, I didn't want to use the port-a-potty. I didn't want to use the port-a-potty. Wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not a lady. You looked, you looked at a. box with walls and a door and then just a box and said, I'd rather do the box. Yes, well,

but then I made a makeshift area with two lawn chairs and a beach towel. Actually, three lawn chairs and a beach towel. Make-a-duty. It was desperation. Desperation? You said there was a porta-potty. But... It was at a race track. Wow. I will never look at you the same way again.

See, and you guys think I'm gross. What's up, Bernard?

Hey, Mojo, I don't know if you know this or not, but the best bottle to pee in, everybody knows, is a Gatorade bottle. Oh, I bet.

Because of the big opening?

They have a big opening. You can actually, well, never mind. You can manipulate yourself to work it. Yeah.

That was the part that was so weird for me, Bernard. I didn't want people that were behind me Or either on the sides And I tried to make sure that nobody was like close to that I didn't want them to think I was You know, taking care of myself Or something in the car Because it looks awkward when you're touching your Zipper and all the rest of that stuff

Well you gotta make sure you pour it out too Because you know, those lime green Gatorades can be confusing

No, you know what I did? Honestly I actually put it in my garbage can At home And I tightened up the top of the thing I was gonna pour it out I was going to pour it out

In the lawn or down the sink or something

I was going to but I figured I might sell it on OnlyFans I don't know I might actually see It's a real gift for your trash collectors

Now I'm weirdly behind you again What is happening?

See somebody wants a drug test What's up Jody how you doing?

Oh I'm good But I would like to not normalize This peeing and water bottle thing My son is 14 and he does it At night so he doesn't have to get oh no oh no like what if somebody like goes like you know in there and thinks it's lemonade or like you add it to water these days that's disgusting i went in there i'm like what is this and he's like oh yeah um don't drink that mike did you just say you did that oh yeah yeah

absolutely who's going into my room to drink anything anyways why are you walking into my room to drink anything you have a bathroom down the steps when you have a bathroom well this was teenage mike but also because i don't want to get up i don't want to walk out i don't want to lose my sleep you ever get out of the bathroom or get up to go to the bathroom exactly what he does he's

like i'll if i get up now i'm actually awake and i have a hard time falling asleep okay i don't care what the reason that's disgusting just because you guys have the advantage to females

doesn't mean you should take advantage yeah but men also dribbles so like i've never walked out to a men's toilet and thought well that's some urine down there so is that just in your bed now Did you just, like, kind of pee your bed?

Yeah, there's no way there wasn't drippage.

I will.

And Mojo then probably peed a little bit on his car seat.

Megan, I'm telling you, we'll DNA test it later today if you want to. You'll find French fried grease, but you will not find. What's up, Melissa?

Hey there. I was stuck in traffic, M14, the part between Ann Arbor and Livonia.

Brutal. Yeah. Equally as bad as Hall Road.

Yeah, so we were dead stopped for an hour. It was a bad accident. People were running out of their vehicles, right? I'm like, well, there are no trees. Guys were going. I didn't see any girls going. I had to go really, really bad. I had a full Kleenex box in the back of my car. I found two grocery bags, put, basically made a make-sit-up toilet.

All right, I think we got enough details.

But the Kleenex box in the two bags.

No, this is like Boy Scouts. This is amazing.

Exactly. In all that time, you could have just found somewhere.

There was nowhere to go. It was wall-to-wall traffic.

Go in the woods.

Go somewhere. And on that stretch, too, on M14, there really is. Once you get past Plymouth Road, you're screwed for a while. Exactly. Yeah, that's a good one. Now, okay, ready for this? Hold on a second. Hold on. Which one do I pick up first? Oh, let's pick up Marina's. About her husband, and what did your husband do, Marina?

Hi. And so my husband, he works in construction, and he was telling me one day he had to do number two. So he took a Home Depot five-gallon bucket and put a trash bag in the bucket so he could do number two. And I was judging him for it. I was like, this is a weird, that's so weird. Until one day, I went to work with him, and we were working in a house that had no electricity, no plumbing, and I had to go to the bathroom. And he set it up for me.

It's wonderful.

I was like, okay, now I understand because it's really rough, like, if you don't have a bathroom.

Do you guys call it something? Like, is it the poo bucket or what is it?

No, we don't call it anything, but it's actually not bad because it's like his work van is, like, tall.

Yeah, one of those panel vans, cold vans.

It's like private. Yeah. It's your own little outhouse.

I saw a roll of toilet paper in the back, and I'm like, why do you have toilet paper back here? And now I get it. It makes sense.

A lot of our people. Actually, how about the delivery drivers, too? Those people are out there, too, and people don't give them a chance to use the bathroom. Carrie, are you a delivery driver? Carrie?

No, but I have a story about a delivery driver.

Oh, okay.

So I had this Amazon driver outside my house for a while, and I thought, oh, they're just, you know, dropping off packages in the neighborhood or something, and they're taking their time. Well, a few minutes go by, and the Amazon truck takes off, and I see outside there's a bag. And I go out, and I'm like, oh, they left a bag like they must have dropped it. Oh, no, it was full of number two. they had gone to the bathroom in their truck and then left it for to clean up so I guess the story is that Amazon delivery drivers don't get breaks to go to the bathroom so they have to use their truck

we've heard that before that a lot of the delivery trucks they just don't have the time because they're clocked on how many deliveries they make

could you imagine that the guy goes and he's like Oh, I don't want it in my truck So he takes it and just throws it like your doggy

Like a doggy bag Yeah, that's what it reminds me

Instead of asking you to use his toilet Weren't you committed to dropping that off in your lawn too?

Well, thank you for the present

That was the best Amazon delivery ever Oh my God

I totally didn't order that I didn't order that

Bye Brian?

Hi, one of my friends was driving down the road and I had to take, like, a massive grab and I couldn't wait. So, like, I just pooped out the window.

Wait, wait, wait. So, wait. No, no. You hung your butt out the window while you were driving? No, he was driving. And I just...

I know, but that's what they're trying to say. You just... Your booty was out the window.

While the car was moving, you were also making a movement.

He goes, correct. I call BS on this one. I don't buy this one.

traveling down the highway actually he calls bm he's dribbling the ball with everything on the line he's driving down the pitch he's facing price hikes and cuts past him carrier contracts tries to block him oh he leaves him in the dust he's at the edge of the box he cuts past the non-stop group chat trash talk he clears on goal he shoots unlimited data for 25 a month forever

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