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You know that's the lie.

I always thought that this woman here, she could do everything, including cook.

I should not be allowed in a kitchen, I have realized. Kev, you haven't been with the show long enough, but I think you know I don't cook. I've heard. I don't cook. I've heard stories. That's something that I would love to know how to do or learn how to do.

Did you take lessons at that cooking place in Somerset?

I mean, I've done that for fun with my mom and a friend.

Did you learn anything at all, or did you?

Yeah, they teach you how to make one thing, and they have all the ingredients there for you and all the utensils. Can you follow directions? Yeah, I can follow directions, but it never fails that somewhere along the line I screw it up. Case in point, Lucy decided that she wanted to make banana bread. Nothing fancy. It was Trader Joe's boxed banana bread. You add oil, you add water, you add two eggs. So she mixed it all up. She put it in the pan in the oven, and I asked Siri to set the timer for 30 minutes on my phone so I would remember to take it out. Well, I got lost doing everything else that needed to be done around the house. So sure as spit, I don't even know how long later, I was like, I could smell something. Oh, my God, how do I even burn boxed banana bread? That thing was a black brick in my oven.

Listen, I don't trust people who leave the kitchen when they cook you. You got to stay in there, bro.

What am I going to do, sit there and watch it? Yes, yes. Bring your phone. Listen to a podcast. And I normally bring my phone. I should have brought my phone with me. I normally do. I had sat it down. I was doing laundry. I fed the dogs. I ran out and got the mail and the Amazon packages. I did everything else except here. Watch the brick. except here at the phone, Siri alarm.

We have had it happen before where, I don't know if it was Chelsea or if it was Luke or somebody, left the oven on for like a day. Wow. Like a whole day. And the way that this oven is, you can't tell that the oven's on or off. Like I'm one of those people, I get paranoid about leaving water on. Fire and water are like the two things that worry me. So I go back and double check my sink at home like 20 times before I leave in the morning because I'm always thinking Chelsea's going to call me and say that the house is like flooded. And then the oven now ever since this whole situation where it was on for like more than 24 hours, which, by the way, it really didn't do much to our gas bill. I don't know why that was. It's weird. Like I thought for sure it was on 24 hours. You know what I mean?

The worst thing for me to cook and it not turn out the way I want it to because I didn't monitor it is cookies. When you take a sheet of cookies out and you read it, it's oftentimes just like 10 to 14 minutes. You always got to do it for eight. Eight is the soft spot?

Because you like them gooey? Not really gooey. You undercook them. They'll cook a little bit even after you take them out. That's one thing.

Really?

If I'm paying attention. If you walk away from that.

I can burn anything else.

I burn some cookies, I'm pissed. Do you know what the number one thing that has caused house fires as far as cooking is concerned? What? Pizza rolls. I just microwave them.

Because you're usually putting those in when you're drunk. People heating up pizza rolls have caused more fires.

Wow. In honor of Shannon, is there anybody that's a worse cook than her? Is there anybody that...

You'd have to try to be worse than me.

Is Wes one that likes to have a good cook, or do you guys just like to door dash and stuff like that?

We're not big door dashers. Wes is the type where he could eat the same thing every day for a week and be fine. Really? When we have time, he loves, like, meal prepping, and he could literally eat ground turkey, rice, and vegetables every single day and be totally fine, which I really appreciate about him. He doesn't expect this big. Is he not a foodie? He is a foodie. when we go out he likes to try new things but at home it's just very standard i'm at i'm at a point

now in my life and maybe it's because i i'm doing the jab shot thing you know to lose weight i love how you said i'm the jab i'm at uh i'm at my the point now where honestly simplest thing like i am like i'll i'll ground beef browned in a in a pan i'll eat that with a little bit of rice and i'm

good for a day like i'm bro my go-to go to kroger get my chicken breasts yeah chop it up season it throw it in the air fryer put it over some salad and that's it you'll eat it every day every day

do you ever do this do you ever do i saw this on tiktok and i've done it twice and it's fantastic do you ever buy those roasted chickens at the uh the rotisseries rotisseries i love those and you get a big ziploc bag put it in the bag and shake it like it's a polaroid picture

Wait, what?

You shake it in there, and all the bones fall right off of the thing.

Shut the front door.

I swear, I saw it on TikTok. I tried it, and it's honestly, I've done it twice. It's freaking awesome. But you got to get the doubly extra large, like, 10-gallon bags, like the big-ass bags. And you put it in there. It is, honestly, it is so good, Shan.

TikTok is the place if you're trying to cook. I'm not on TikTok. What's up, Olivia? Maybe that's why I got to do it good.

Hey, Olivia. olivia olivia hello hi what's up hello hey hi how are you good what's going on

um i was calling because i am also a terrible cook i tried to make this pizza on the oven it was supposed to be like a cast iron pizza and i went to go put it uh like oiled pan and lit up implants. I don't know what I did wrong, but I opened the house down.

This is me.

When you put a pizza in the oven, do you put it right on the rack? I do.

I just started doing that.

You're supposed to.

Can I tell you? It's the dumbest thing ever. Why? We had a brand new oven. Brand new oven's never been the same since the pizza got in the oven.

Here's why. I learned this too. The same thing happened in my brand new oven. You have to put a pan underneath it to catch the cheese that drips.

But why not just have the whole pan

be underneath the actual pizza? Is there something about the way it cooks? It tastes differently when you just go straight rack. Really? Tell you, I used to be a pan guy. The bottom of it does not give that crunchiness, or you can tell it browns differently when you throw it straight rack.

Really?

And throw it on the bottom rack, so it's closer to the fire.

By the way, it's Fox 2 in the morning here with Jay Towers. We're doing a little cooking segment. Whenever TV stations do the cooking segments, I'm like, this is the most pointless television.

No, everybody eats. I don't like watching their faces when they take a bite or something.

What's up, Lydia?

So I always burn garlic bread. I am an amazing cook, but I cannot get it right. I've honestly just switched to garlic knots at this point because it is just horrible for me. Hold on one second. I'm sorry. I have an Uber passenger.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

She said, hold on. We hold on.

I can't believe we're holding her for a second. She said she has an Uber passenger. Oh, sorry.

I can hear you guys.

Go ahead.

Okay.

We're on in your Uber? Yes, you are.

Hi, passenger. Give her five stars. Where are you going? Where is this passenger? Uber everywhere. They're going to New York. You're driving them to New York from here?

No, I'm taking them to the airport. They're going to New York right now.

hey hey this is mojo and shannon and kev from mojo in the morning yeah what's up if you're ever in new york jimmy kimmel's in all the cabs we're in the ubers that's right hey guys how you doing we're mojo in the morning welcome to your Uber drive.

Sorry, they're loading my bags, guys. We gotta go. All right, you take care.

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