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Mojo in the morning. Mojo and Shannon Cav hanging out this morning. I got to tell you that I looked on social media over the weekend and saw that it was Shannon's anniversary.

So nice.

and uh it was one year ago one year ago that you guys went and got married up in a lope you guys a lope was it best decision ever was it in a lope or was well we didn't get married in front of anybody except for our kids is that called in a lope because i thought a lope was nobody knows about it uh you guys planned you did a destination thing wasn't it i mean it was planned in that i

brought a dress and had like a photographer and stuff but we didn't even know actually where we We were going to do it until that morning. Like we literally got up, took a walk and scoped out a spot. And we were like, that looks good right there.

Because you guys were cheap and you didn't want to have to pay the exorbitant amount of money that they, actually, that's not cheap, that's smart.

We basically snuck onto that hotel property and found a nice spot.

How was the anniversary? Was it a good anniversary?

It was a great anniversary. I had been away all weekend at this fifth grade Girl Scout trip at a horse ranch with Lucy. So I got home yesterday morning around 1030, which yesterday is our actual anniversary, May 4th. Happy anniversary, Shannon. Thank you. And so Wes and I had plans to go grab lunch at the place where we had our wedding party, where we celebrated with all of you guys in downtown Detroit. And it was really nice. But first anniversary is tough when it comes to gifts because the gift is paper. Paper? What do you mean? Like that, there are all these traditional gifts for each year and year one is paper.

And so money, give me some money.

Is that what we're talking about? That's not where his brain was because I got no money, which was fine. I got him. I have these huge, huge photo frames in, in our house. And since, you know, I, since before I met Wes, those photos were of myself and Luce and Smith. And so before I left on Friday, I had ordered like custom framed photos from our wedding and I had put those up. So that was like my paper was the photos. He gave me three different cards that he had written. And it was interesting because one of the cards I posted on my Instagram, it was really funny. It was a very Dateline-y card. It was great.

Explain what it was.

It said, hang on, I am obsessed with Dateline NBC, like absolutely positively. I have listened to every podcast. I have seen every episode. Andrea Canning is actually a friend of mine. But he got me a card that said, when someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first, which tells you everything you need to know about marriage. And then he like wrote this cute little thing about how we love watching Dateline together inside. Another card was like a standard first, you know, one year anniversary card. And then there was one card that kind of made my stomach sink a little bit. and it was because what he wrote inside and Wes is so good with his words like he's a great writer but what he wrote inside was not the like normal feel good lovey-dovey what you would think one would write to his wife in an anniversary card it was really really honest about the past year about our first year of marriage and he wrote about how this year has not been an easy year quite the opposite. In fact, it has had, no, it has had its amazing fun moments, but it has also been a year of figuring each other out, figuring our families out, what our blended family looks like, the complexities of moving into a home together. I mean, there have been a lot of road bumps. And so I read the card and I just kind of stood there and he's like, you're not happy. And i said it's not that i'm not happy with what you wrote i'm just i i'm just like it it was not what i expected when i opened that was actually the first card that i opened but it was very honest and he said i want to validate to each other to to you that instead of chasing perfection which we are both perfectionists and he's like you know instead of chasing perfection in this relationship in this marriage we have to acknowledge that it's been a really messy year and we need to celebrate and live in the messy and know that that is what our reality is right now it is not it's not rainbows and butterflies it has not been why don't you like you and he's right i always want to look at the positive of everything and just celebrate that and he's like but the messy is where like this where it got us to a year later we are in such a better place than we were even on the day we got

married and he's right interesting wow i didn't know i had no idea that on the day that you guys got married that it was still even messy at that moment but i got to tell you something um card makers if you're listening right now from hallmark or papyrus whatever the heck that thing is like the expensive card place you guys need to make cards that are realistic their cards are way like anniversary cards never reflect that they should say hey even though we were on the verge of divorce this year it's so nice that we get to still be like wouldn't that be a great car i mean like it's real and i there's honestly real and you know what it would sell out i guarantee you

that car would sell out he even said we we ended up going out you know we had plans to go out to lunch and we were still talking about this at lunch and we both acknowledged there were points over the past year where we looked at each other and we're like did we make the right decision like should we have gotten married when we did should we have waited a little bit should we and of course like we're both so happy that we did but that's not to say that you know it it's

definitely been a year do you know what's interesting is that i look at birthdays like that you know after having health issues and stuff like that i look at birthdays no longer as it's my day it's the greatest thing i look at it as i got another year like i like i because i know that you're not always guaranteed it i think anniversaries are the same way i think that we

We put in the work this year, and there was a lot of work that needed to be put in.

Are there any other listeners that feel that way right now? If you're somebody that feels that way, call us up, 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548.

You said when you read the card, you had a reaction at Mae West, kind of say, like, that's not what I was expecting. Yeah. When you got married, now looking back at the year, is your first year of marriage what you expected?

That's a really good question. I expected, I didn't expect it to be perfect because I knew we were going to be blending families and, you know, the dynamic with the kids. We didn't know how that was going to work out. I knew that that part of it was going to be tough. I don't think that I, that I estimated that Wes and I's relationship was going to be as, as tough as it has been to, you know, continue to figure each other out. And, um, so no.

Yeah.

Cause I feel like, you feel like first year of marriage. you're like we're so enough this is the honeymoon we're gonna you know whatever and yeah there were parts of it that were that have been like that for sure i gotta tell you i think you guys should

show that more even to the world like i think you talking about this is great because i really do think that it will help because i do think that sometimes you know you see these pictures of you in west and you guys look like freaking you know fashion models and sometimes

instagram y'all instagram nobody's showing their mess i love it but i love that you're talking

about that i think people should and i think honestly people should say today's a really bad day like you know what i mean or even just like i know people i know some people put just quotes up there sometimes and it's crazy but can i tell you something i've always wanted to know this who is the harder person because every relationship has it i'm definitely the harder person in my relationship when chel if if somebody if somebody were to say hey you know what you know they would be in

their relationship you know mojo looks like he'd be an easy guy to to to be married to or chelsea looks like she'd be an easy person to be married to i am hard to be married to like i got too much crap going on in my life i got too much stuff going on um chelsea puts up with a lot of crap um who in your relationship would be the easier person wes he's so he's oh i am he goes i am

i am a very complex we always say we always make this analogy that we all carry around a backpack that's filled with all of our junk in it my backpack is like a backpack and a roller bag and i just feel like i i am very stubborn uh i'm very set in my ways i'm very independent almost to a fault i think that i'm definitely the tougher interesting i didn't ever think of

you as independent until you got divorced uh from your last relationship i think that you seemed like you were almost codependent before that. Yeah. I think you being on your own with the kids felt like maybe you started becoming more independent. For sure. And I also, we talked

about this yesterday. I think with my first marriage, like I was younger and Andrew and I had a great marriage, but I feel like we were almost kind of like surfacy. Like we had a great time. We never really fought, but I think it's because we didn't really go deep. And I think that wes and i go deep in our conversations with each other and that also can create some issues sometimes where you're drudging up stuff and you're like this is not fun i just want to have fun but

it's so important but with that said i feel like sometimes when you go deep and you have those moments it it's like a tree with rings on it you know what i mean like how many like as a tree gets

older it becomes harder yes yeah what's up uh stacy hi hi mojo hi shannon good morning and kev

hi kev that's cool hi kev sorry kev no sorry leave you out what's going on never never um first time long time um just want to say to shannon i relate to this so much um um me and my fiance we've been together for three years um within the last three years we've had one obstacle after another that's why we're not married we're older um he's been married before i've been divorced um never been married again after my first marriage um but i lost my father the first year we were together And then just last year on Thanksgiving, he lost his father. So we've just been through it. I have an older daughter. He has a daughter that's passed before our relationship started.

Which has got to be so difficult to always deal with, loss of a child.

Absolutely.

There's a lot of baggage in your guys' relationship together. It's kind of like how Shannon and Wes are talking about this.

Totally. totally and you know um i'm so grateful that i'm there for him and he's there for me but sometimes we just have those deep conversations and it's like can we go on should we go on and it just makes us stronger so i want to say to shannon that when i got in the car today to drive to work i was like oh man she's talking about me and brian and it just hits home and um you know i just think that this is what makes relationships stronger and this is so much and this is so much better

conversation than you coming in here going oh my god he bought me this and he did this and my love

and all this stuff honestly his card i love that man to save that card but yeah oh i save every

card yeah crazy about that but that is that card honestly is one of those cards you look back at after what might be a less bumpy year and you go remember you know what's up we did it

hi tia hello guys hey there you go good morning hello hi first and foremost happy anniversary to shannon thank you vulnerability this morning girl oh my goodness you got me just i was almost in tears okay um but you know what so um just to kind of piggyback off of mojo i was diagnosed with cancer last year i'm only 33 and um this upcoming birthday i am celebrating life like sometimes you know life is just freaking fun yep yeah if it take you through something and i'm so blessed i have an 11 year old son and you know i'm just honestly in a positive space even though negative things have been happening i can just appreciate the health and also acknowledge

you know the negativity too it just it is what it is. Tia I love you and I love that you called us up and showed your vulnerability because that's a lot that people are dealing with right now.

their health and uh man just enjoy this year enjoy that birthday absolutely i will and my

son said um can you shout out my mojo his name is carson yes carson what's up good morning

we love you buddy you got a great mom hug mom for us okay love y'all love you guys what's up zach hi it's mojo in the morning uh it was shannon's anniversary yesterday and hopefully she gave Wes some amazing sex. But we won't talk about that. What's going on? Nothing.

Just want to say first time long time. Hey, buddy.

Hey, Zach on the floor.

Appreciate it, Kevin. I just wanted to say that bad moments in relationships are really character building. They're kind of like commercials back in the day. Everybody hated watching commercials. Yeah. But nowadays, these kids and people, they have all these videos they can just watch actively and they're still not entertained. And it's like if you go through a relationship with everything going smooth and okay, it's like, you're never challenged. You're never put to the test.

Well, it's funny because there's a lot of people that go through many years with the Disney feeling of their relationship. And then they have one tough bump ahead and they jump out because they don't know what to do with it.

So it's like, if you've never been in a stressful moment, you don't know how to handle stress and it's going to eat away at you.

Zach, are you in a relationship right now?

Yes, sir. And this is actually something that we talk about a lot between us, that even though, as Shannon is saying, that things aren't pretty and that's how we want them to be, like we'd rather embrace the mess right now. We'd rather be in a house. Yeah. But we're living in a small apartment.

You know what? Premarital counseling, to me, is such a great thing. But honestly, consistent counseling is a great thing. having the ability to be able to have somebody to bounce things off of if you can do it is so important and to be able to say you know what we need to reset it's like getting an oil change every 3 000 miles it's really important t uh initial t wants to comment what's up t

good morning your voice disguise what's going on yeah um so i agree with like what shannon and was saying of that the cards don't really describe all of the hard times they only talk about like oh i love you deeply and you're the love of my life let me tell you i've been married 14 years and there's days that he's not the love of my life because of the rough times and the bumps and the curveballs and by less being real and deep and being raw i think that's amazing and that's what more cards need to write in there like yeah there's times i don't like you but we're going to fight every day and learn to love each other through each phase you know like i've gone through losing my dad and last year like i lost my best friend and i've changed and he's had to love me through this post yeah yeah and i've had to learn how to love him through coming out of the military and everything that's been thrown at it's you know

what if it if it wasn't hard it wouldn't be great i know that sounds weird to say that but sometimes there are things that come really easy to people you know what i mean uh mcdonald's you know what i mean like it's like yeah but it ain't great for you yeah um where something that's harder something that's more difficult that meal that you might make and put the effort into you savor it i think a little bit more god i sound like kevin with my analogies all the time listen it's something

popping in my mind right there's a japanese art form called kintsugi and basically what it is is if a beautiful item falls and breaks instead of throwing it away they put it together with this beautiful like gold metallic glue and it sticks it together and the idea is that if something falls and breaks yeah you can throw it away but you can produce something that is far more beautiful

if you embrace the flaws yeah yeah that's great kind of feel like um you know what in i know that wes wasn't too excited about the fact that you were going to be gone all weekend and with the girl scout camp and stuff like that yeah um maybe he needed to have that time alone to write that card i don't know if he ever thought about that that's neat yeah like i do i do think about that because sometimes if you're together you just quickly write in something oh my god you're the greatest whatever maybe his you know this sucks that i'm sitting here without her and she's you know you're doing this this you know she made

the commitment to that other thing knowing that our you know but i think sometimes you need to have that space i know it's weird to say this but yeah but yeah hey i appreciate you bringing this up i'm gonna say this to you and don't be mad at me for saying this oh what are you gonna say sometimes your portrayal of a person on the radio is very clean and happy and fun i don't think that

i do that i talk with so i mean i do talk about your first marriage you definitely yeah like

Like, there was. I'm pretty open about what we're struggling with. Nothing against you guys in the South. But you talking like this is so much more relatable, too. Because I know, I can tell you when you're struggling. Like, I can tell when all of us are struggling. I can tell when, you guys can tell when I'm struggling. For sure. And you come in here. By the way, you've quickly for sure.

Because you are very moody. I am very. But I will say this to you.

You just be hungry. the reason why this show is different the reason why this show is different than than a lot of other shows and people will ask this is because of conversations like this yeah so you know what i remember about their marriage they went hiking like right after they got married is that the

dumbest thing that's what it relates seriously off the cliff top of a mountain no no remember

we made it to the top of the mountain it goes back to the dateline nbc yeah he just really He really wanted to push me. Yeah, he was right over the top.

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