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To Rory.

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All right, it is the Emojo in the Morning show. So, Shannon, you and your fiance are trying to figure something out right now, and maybe we've got some couples that are listening that can tell you what they did, but you're trying to figure out whether or not you guys combine your finances together or keep them separate?

It's so strange doing this the second time around, right? because everything is just very, very different. And I get that, you know, all marriages do not look the same. But Wes and I met with a really, really great friend of mine who just so happens to be like a financial advisor or planner. I don't know. He's like a money guy. And we were like, can you please help us figure some things out? Like we wanted to see if it made sense for us to put an addition on my house, which everybody is moving into. And then that discussion became the catalyst for, like, as we're moving forward and starting to blend pretty much everything at this point, we were talking about, like, merging bank accounts. And he was saying that, you know, for a lot of second marriages, people don't tend to do that anymore. Like, when Andrew and I were married, my ex-husband, we put everything together, right? Like, all of our bank accounts were joint. Everything was shared. and he was just saying that the second time around it's very different most couples choose to keep things separate they choose even if like trust me wes and i are not millionaires by any means but he's like a lot of couples will choose to write some sort of prenuptial agreement so god forbid something happened you leave the marriage with everything that you brought in um one my anxiety was raging after that conversation because it is such a scary one to have but i'm like what do people do the second time around when that happens and they talk about the prenuptial

agreement do you start looking at yourself going don't nod your head yes don't nod your head yes

i understand where he was coming from and like most of the time and i was always under this impression like you only have a prenuptial agreement if you are worth like a lot of you know if you have a lot of stuff to your name which not necessarily right and that's what he was saying which i don't yeah a lot of people that that's really not the case and i also hate thinking about a prenuptial agreement because to me it's like well that just means you have one foot

out well a lot of people actually will do a prenuptial agreement because they've got a lot of things that are personal to their family right that person's coming in and it's funny because i was listening to somebody yesterday talk about prenuptial agreement and the idea was it's not a prenuptial agreement we're not doing a prenuptial agreement because we think our marriage is going to fail we're doing a prenuptial agreement so that we know for a fact that god forbid our marriage ever end we don't want it to become a situation where we are so fighting with each other over this and that and this yeah just eliminates all that out of it and they could have just as much on their prenuptial side as you can have on your prenuptial side you know yeah um i so the blending things you wouldn't blend before you actually got married right or would you blend now that you guys are engaged I don't know

like I was talking to Kev about it before the show today because obviously it's top of mind for me and he was like why don't you

just do it now Shirella and I literally was having this conversation last night and if you have found your person what are you waiting for yeah I mean like the I do all of a sudden things are perfect now and now we have no let's just do it

My wife and I don't have combined accounts, and we've been together and married for a long time.

Did you guys ever, like, talk about it at all?

Yes. Yeah, yeah. So she has a card to my account because most of the stuff comes from my account. But we all have our separate accounts so we can kind of do our own thing. We've talked about putting it together. I don't know that we ever will. It just works this way. Whose idea was it to not combine? We just never did it. It just never happened. Like if she needed something or if something needs to happen, she has a card that she can get into. But all of our stuff, all of our bills come separately out of those accounts. And at this point, it feels like a hassle to combine it.

I always wonder sometimes if the person that pushes for the combined accounts is the person that's making the least amount of money in the relationship. Like, is there a reason why you need to have it combined? because if you guys are fine together and you guys are like paying together or do you feel like if you're if you are not combined then you feel like you're not completely together as a couple because i get i kind of see that too where you're like okay wait a second we're good enough to say that to god hey we're gonna stay married for the rest of our lives but we're not good enough to chase or i feel very differently i i don't know i feel like some people may think

their spouse may be hiding something and this is a way where i know for sure that you're not

hiding anything from me well i think if you're going into it thinking about hiding then i think

there's even more it's so funny that you say that because wes is so open with everything with me like he came he had like all these like spreadsheets and stuff of all his accounts and then he had this color-coded sheet and i was like what's that right there and he's like well that's my budget sheet he's like i literally have a place for every dollar i'm like i think i need to i think i need to walk out of the room right now wow you don't need to go to a financial Oh, my God, I don't want him to see what I do, right? I know, but still, though. I'm serious.

That's actually cool that he's that responsible enough. I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, I would fire the financial advisor that you went to go see.

Well, he did that Dave Ramsey, what the heck is it called, Financial U. And I'm like, I don't know if we're compatible anymore.

Aaron, what's up?

Hey, I just wanted to call in because me and my wife, same thing as Mike, we never combined our finances. It just never came up. It never happened. It works out, honestly, better that way, I would think, because if one of us wants something that the other person really doesn't want, it's their money. They can do it. We kind of have this little rule where we don't spend over $500 without telling each other just so nobody gets irresponsible. And we know we've seen it so many times. People fight over money. But if we have it the way we do, we don't. When we got there, I had my house. And so all that's still in my name. She just has a recurring payment for, you know, like a little less than half of the utilities, and we go from there.

Is this first marriage or second marriage?

It's my first marriage, and I tell her every day that she's my first wife.

I was waiting until that point. Jay, what's happening?

Mike, I totally agree with you 100%. Never, ever, ever merge your bank accounts. Always have your own financial freedom. And I think that's just the best way for a relationship I'm with someone right now I make less than the other person And I would never merge my bank account Why? Because he's more than me

Why not?

Because I just feel like You should be responsible for your own finances And if you do need a little bit of help That person will help you Because you are with them And it doesn't matter if it's the first or second marriage

Is it weird though that you have to ask them for help If you needed help?

No, not really Because if that person loves you and you need a little help sometimes, then they will do it.

Yeah, and with Ellie and I, she's got the card anyway, and it's her money. It's not like it's just my money. It just works better this way. Why do you not have her card? Because, you want me to be honest on this? Because I make more and I don't need to go into hers. But if she wants to go spend something on, you know, she wants to go buy a purse. Like, there's no conversation about it. If she wants to go buy something, there's no conversation about it. She just does it. And then a big purchase, like a car or something, we have a discussion about. Abby, what do you say about prenuptial agreements?

Always get a prenup. Always.

Explain why.

I have known three people so far that have been screwed over by not getting a prenup because the other person cheated.

So you think a prenup is... By the way, the mm-hmm... When you said it, are you getting a prenup?

Me? No, I don't think me. I don't, I, this, this literally, this conversation just happened, so it's fresh. Like, I haven't even had time to process what to do. Well, you can always have a post-nup, too.

A post-nup?

Yeah. What is that? Like, after you're married. Yeah. And you can go in, and you can really sit down and discuss, you know, who is his, who's what's what, and everything like that.

That's interesting. It's too late at that. I just hate all these conversations. Yeah. Listen. Look at the Kevin Costner situation with his ex-wife where he had the prenup and now she's actually not even abiding by the prenup and moving out of the house.

What do you think about some people share accounts, but then they have a separate account that if they want to go do something on their own, then they can just do it on their own.

Well, we talked about that. We talked about having our separate accounts, but then having a together account to throw money into for utilities or vacations or whatever.

Can I tell you what I think you should do, honestly? I know this is going to sound crazy. What? I think you should have one.

Are you being facetious?

No, I'm being serious. One account and a safe. I think you have one account and you get a safe and put it in your house. And then your safe is your play, you know, whatever. And I think that that has a combination that both of you guys have access to. But you get one of those new safes that are out there that alerts you when somebody opens it.

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