Muse

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I didn't want to wake Chelsea up. So I would go to the bathroom and then I would fart and then I would come back and lay down in bed. And the problem was this. So Luke's room is right above our room. So the way that our house is, we have a first floor master bedroom. Luke's room is right up top of us. And then the other boys rooms are, you know, down the ways. So long story short, I started realizing after the third time I got up to go to the bathroom that every time that I fight, I fight, I fart.

Your stomach was fighting.

Every time that I fart, it reverberates in Luke's room and he can hear the fart.

If you're trying to fart quietly, don't you? Honest to God, I'm not even trying to be funny. Spread your butt cheek so it doesn't make a noise. Never heard that before. It will make a lot less of a noise. I promise you. That's real?

I remember on our show, that was a big deal. I remember back in the day before Cavie started, I remember that was like, that was a storyline that we had where if you spread your cheeks, I think you brought that to the table.

Even if you're, even if you're, even if you're on the toilet, if you, if you just pull one cheek away from the other, it'll, but I'm not spreading my ass.

You're supposed to like, yeah.

Just go like this. You can do it nonchalantly. This is real.

This is real. Pull one side. If you pull one side, it will, it will be less sounding than if you leave it by yourself. But if you pull both, see, I don't do that. Wow. You know what I do? I put the toilet paper silencer in there. So I shove toilet paper up my butt. In your butthole? What is going on right now? And I will do that.

Is this a white people thing? You know about this? I don't do that because I do the spread.

Hold on. Y'all got some tricks up, y'all. Ask the listeners. I almost said ask the listeners.

but i guess that would that would be the case that's how we're starting the week oh my god

let's ask the listeners um but but the the the thing that i didn't realize was and i thought because the way that uh our bathroom is set up i go in i close the door to the bathroom in our shower and stuff and then i have we have an actual bathroom door like a little cubby door you know and i go in there and i go inside and i got the door closed and i'm like all right Chelsea's not going to hear this. Not realizing that Luke is above, and Luke was up late last night because this was like one o'clock in the morning, and all of a sudden I could hear Luke, and I'm like, is he laughing at me, or is he laughing at watching some kind of a show on TV, or is he laughing on the phone? And then I could hear him go, I think my dad just crapped himself.

listen i'm the only thing that i'm able to do to potentially this is strong potentially decrease the volume of my gas you know how like when you sneeze you can do like a very loud sneeze or you can like pinch it a little bit like you know like try to hold it yeah that's what i can do with my fart i can try to decrease the volume by pinching it a little bit but once it's out the cannon kaboom wow it just really it just gotta go especially if you're trying to push it out It just goes. That's interesting. So when did y'all understand, like, who was the first person to spread their cheeks or put toilet paper up their butthole to decrease the sun?

I feel like I learned this from listeners who gave us tips. And I've done it ever since, religiously.

This was actually, God, maybe 10 years ago on the show that somebody actually told us that. I missed that episode. 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-654-ATEX, is 95500. zero if you'd like to participate in this. We'll clean it all up after we get done with this. I do want to say that we have a big week of shows. A big week giving away a brand new car in our summer of cars, cash, and gas. I can't wait. We got a couple War of the Roses that you're going to be talking to your friends about. We got Second Date Update. We've got Five Lies Tell Your Mom. We're going to play Throwback Throwdown twice this week on the show. Let's go! It's going to be amazing. Hi Heather, what's up? It's Mojo in the morning. Welcome

to fart talk here good morning what is wrong with just farting well i don't want to fart in front of

my wife like that's the thing i just don't want to do like i don't want it to be a thing where i'm waking her up with a fart you know what i mean oh yeah okay um you newlywed

No, but it's already tough enough to have her be attracted to this big hairy man. But I think that I have to at least keep somewhat of the romance in. One of the worst experiences I told these guys before the show started was when my wife walked in on me while I was wiping my buttocks and having her see me in the bathroom doing that. You don't ever want your spouse seeing you do that. I'd rather have them smell than actually see.

Oh, okay. I've been married for 17 years, and, yeah, that's a thing.

Yeah. Your spouse, husband, wife has not ever done that before, walked in on you, right?

Oh, yeah, he has all the time.

Really? She said all the time.

And I walk in on him.

And do you stay, or do you quickly?

We've been married for, it's usually a quick in and out, but we understand when we go in there that it could be dangerous. It could be dangerous.

This is the product of a great marriage right here, Heather. Thank you for the call. I appreciate you.

Have a good day. You too.

What's up, Jacob? How you doing? How are you? You know what? Kind of just hanging out. What's been going on with you? Are you welcome to fart talk?

I'm a firm believer that my wife don't make noisy farts because she wears a thong all the time. I think that's just that sound barrier Oh my god

It's split between the two So it's like a two-shotter

It's just a silencer

It's funny because I don't ever hear Chelsea I don't think I've ever heard her fart Women have masquered it Do you fart in front of Wes? Never, unless it's accident

But no, never

Have you ever farted in front of him and it smelled And it was a silent one or no? Blame it on a dog

No I honestly No I don't think so

Keep the romance alive I'm like super careful about it You guys are still in the early stages Of a relationship This is the newlywed stage You do not want to ruin that What's going on Nicole Nicole wants to talk about Shannon's technique to silence hers What's up Nicole

Yeah you 100% have to spread the cheeks It is tried and true And nobody will touch you

Yep.

I got a chat GPT. And do you do it all the time, or do you only do it?

Take it from a personal recommendation.

Yeah, he's only a...

I'm an influencer here when it comes to farts.

Would you do that on your...

Whenever you can just pull them apart.

Would you ever do that on your Instagram?

Depends on the rate.

If somebody said to you, you can make money doing it, you're cheek pulling. Yeah, you're definitely a fan. You know what they need? They need to come up with a device that you can do, like the Squatty Potty does the... The cheek spreader? The cheek spreader, yeah. What's up? How are you doing, Amanda?

Hi, good morning.

Good morning. What's going on?

So every time I go to the bathroom and I feel a fart coming on, I just flush the toilet so that the flushing of the toilet drowns my fart out.

Another good technique. Actually, do you think it takes the smell with it, too? Maybe. if you got one of those industrial toilets that kind of like literally will pull your sphincter down that that's amazing to know if that would actually pull the smell down with it too

you know yeah yeah usually when i'm doing a number two i usually flush as well i always do that i do

the flush and then the where i clear my throat hi rachel raquel hi raquel hi how's it going good Raquel, welcome to the show. This is, by the way, the number one rated show in Grand Rapids, Toledo. Happy Monday morning. And Detroit. What's happening?

Good news. I'm from Texas. But I just wanted to say that I'm 22, and I've been married for two years now. And me and my husband, we definitely are comfortable with each other farting. And we hang out in the bathroom while each other does their business. And it does not bother us.

Unbelievable. That's amazing that you guys have that much love for each other. By the way, is it true what they say about in Texas everything is big, including your farts?

Oh, I'm going to say no comment on that one.

I love that you're listening to us on the iHeartRadio app. Where in Texas are you?

I'm in Austin, Texas.

That's awesome. That's a cool place. It's a very cool, although not probably temperature-wise right now, but that's a great place. There's a lot of fun stuff to do there, isn't there? Thanks. How did you find Mojo in the morning?

Well, my husband's originally from Michigan. So I had heard it a couple of times when I was up there visiting and everything. And I was like, well, you know what? I think I do like this morning show.

I love it. Well, we hope that you continue. And thank you for waking up early with us. What's up, Fools? Manevin Jey Uso here from the WWE. When it's just me between matches, it's day one-ish. And that means it's Chumba time. With hundreds of casino-style games and new titles arriving weekly, there's always something fresh to try at Chumba Casino. The daily boosts make it even more fun. And have me about to get them all during my downtime. Ready for a fun way to chill out and enjoy a few minutes for yourself?

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