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Mojo in the morning show. And I like to just get into the minds of our listeners sometimes. and their sex lives uh go ahead shannon so i was working out with one of my very very best friends

yesterday afternoon right after the show and um as we're like huffing she mentioned to me that she had to go home and she's like and i have to shower and shave and get ready for tonight and i said what's happening tonight and this was yesterday and she said well her husband was kind of mad at her over something that happened the previous night and i said what'd you do and she said two words elephant pajamas and I was like huh and she said that last night she was super tired and she just wanted to be cozy and read before bed like after she put all the kids to bed so she put on what her husband calls her elephant pajamas like pajamas that cover every inch of her body he thinks they have elephants on them but she said they're really dogs he's just never looked close enough to realize that they're not elephants but he calls them her elephant pajamas and so um she said that he knows when she wears them he's not getting any and he's vocal about his just his his pissed offness that he is nothing's happening so so that is so she had to

make it up to him that is his surefire sign that he knows he's not getting laid yeah she's got the

elephant pajamas on she said she walked out of the bathroom and he was laying in bed and he goes Looks like it's an elephant pajamas kind of night I love that

That's actually very funny How they have their own term for it too The elephant pajamas Mine is when Chelsea Will walk out of the bathroom And she has this mask thing on her face And it's not like a white creamy mask thing It's this clear thing That at first I didn't know what it was And it looks like cellophane or something like that like it's perfectly clear but it's like it makes the face look like kind of like give her the shocked look and so one time she walked out and I thought to myself I'm like oh my god she's wearing Chelsea has the absolute sexiest pajamas ever but Chelsea could probably be wearing the elephant pajamas and I would probably find them sexy they're just like the feel of them they feel good they're comfortable and stuff I couldn't wear pajamas like that I would slide right off the bed but when she comes to bed and she's got that mask thing on her face i know i ain't getting

anything yeah my other girlfriend who was with us yesterday then we all started a discussion about this and she's like when i just want to sleep and i don't want to have sex with my boyfriend she goes i click in my bite guard so hard that he can hear it and so he knows that's ali she's got one

of those we both do we both have like uh uh like i got the invisalign thing but she's got one of those bite guard retainer things at night, and it's loud, too. And maybe she does it loud. Yeah, it's like...

I can only imagine you guys talking to each other, because the best is Mike, you know, Hi, how you doing? Good, good. Does it make you guys sound like that? So what would you like for dinner? Potatoes? Sounds good? All right, 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548. I want you to call us up or text us, and I want you to tell us what is your sign that you know you're not going to get laid? What is the thing that your significant other or you do that is the sign that you know we're not getting some tonight?

Ari, yours is also the mouth guard?

Yep, it's definitely the mouth guard. Once I hear that click, I know it's done for me.

Oh, no. The click says it all. Oh, my gosh. Can you ever just ask to take it out, or can you just?

I can always ask to take it out, but, you know, normally, once it clicks in, I know that means I might as well not even try.

But the funny thing is, it's not like you have to be up there. You know what I mean? You can be downstairs. You don't have to go to the upstairs.

Oh, but what about me? I want some cookies baked as well.

Oh, okay. All right. She wants some stuff. She wants some action.

There was a time where they were in. The mouth guard was in on my end, but wasn't in on her end. And I'm not stopping if it starts. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So I ended up taking them out mid-sex.

And then you've got to be careful and make sure it gets on your nightstand. and it doesn't fall on the floor and get, like, carpet remnants on it. Dylan, hi. What's going on? Nothing much. What's the sign that you know you're not getting laid?

Just talk a little politics, and you're definitely not going to lie. Oh, gosh.

Yeah, that's the word. That'll kill the mood real fast. Do not fall asleep to CNN or Fox News. You ain't getting laid watching Tucker Carlson. I can tell you that, my friend.

Yep.

Thank you. Mojo in the morning. Mary. Morning. Hi, Mary. What's the sign that you know you ain't getting any?

If my husband goes to bed before I do and he lays there with his CPAP machine on. Oh, gosh.

Does he have the one that makes him look like an elephant?

No, he's got the one that goes at the nose. So it's like a nose guard, I guess I would say. Okay.

All right. That's funny.

I'll lay there looking at his phone, and I'll be laying there, and I'll just kind of look at him. I call it kind of like the Dark Vader Even though it's not the full one Because it's that heavy breathing

I have to tell you something I'm supposed to have a CPAP machine I cannot figure out how to get the CPAP machine To stay on my face at night And Chelsea says it falls off And then it makes these horrible noises At night It's like a sound machine

I know what you're talking about My husband would have that And I would always nudge him in the night because I'm like, you need to roll.

Yeah, roll over, buddy. What's up, Rich?

Well, hello. How's it going?

It's good, Rich. How you been, bud?

Well, my wife says when she sees me eating a bowl of cereal at night, she knows she's not getting the penis.

Why? What's with the cereal? I don't know. She says every time she sees me, she's like, oh, my God. I'm like, what? So, yeah, that's my story.

Wait, I don't get the cereal. Yeah, I don't understand it. Why can you not have sex after cereal? Do you have, like, a digestive problem or something?

No, not at all. No, she just knows that by the time I get done with my cereal, I sit down and I pass out where I sit. Oh, okay.

Okay, what's your cereal of choice, Rich?

Apple Jacks.

I love Apple Jacks. It's so good, yeah. Cinnamon Toasty Apple Jacks.

God, I just love you even more.

Thanks for the call, buddy. Appreciate it.

You're welcome, thank you.

No Apple Jacks tonight. Give the wife the penis.

Oh, absolutely. It's Friday night fun time, man.

All right. What's up, Jamie?

Hi. My wife, she does not, she will not shower before bed. She will literally just refuse to shower before bed. It's weird, but that is my sign that nothing's going down. Oh, yeah.

So if she goes to bed with a little bit of stank from the day on, you know you ain't getting any.

Yeah, I don't want it.

Yeah. Oh. What if you guys go and shower together, and then that gives you some fun?

Too many kids. We cry that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I still have not been able to master shower sex. I can't do it. I'm too big of a man. And it's tough because I feel bad for Chelsea because I see her shivering. She's, like, not even near the water at all. Like, occasionally, because she's so much shorter than I am, occasionally she gets a little bit of water on her from my man boobs you know but it's tough

he's dribbling the ball with everything on the line he's driving down the pitch he's facing price hikes and cuts past him carrier contracts tries to block him oh he leaves him in the dust he's at the edge of the box he cuts past the non-stop group chat trash talk he clears on goal he shoots no unlimited data for 25 a month forever visit your local boost mobile store today to get

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unlimited plan. I'm Emily Oster. I'm an economist and data expert. And I'm Perry Wilson. I'm a medical doctor. And this is our new podcast, Wellness Actually.

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