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WVKS Toledo. This is Mojo in the Morning.

Oh, Mojo, he's amazing.

Live. Mojo.

Let me take y'all back to the beginning. This is it.

All right, are you ready?

You're listening to Mojo in the Morning.

You're a doo-doo hat.

It's showtime! We'll be right back.

good morning and welcome to the mojo in the morning show it's one of those i wish i could have slept in mornings for me right now i don't know what it was i think it was because i stayed up late to watch that nba finals game and uh if you didn't see it already uh denver nuggets won there first but i couldn't fall asleep mondays are really tough to get like home not take a nap you know you got to take a little bit of a nap because of uh you're so busy from the weekend and you're tired and i think i slept too much i think that was the problem i think i took like a hour and a half or almost two hour nap so lucky and then i could not fall asleep which was actually perfect for watching the game but then having this morning i'm like dragging ass walking outside Holy cow, it is cold this morning, huh? A little chill in the air, temperature only 50 degrees.

And it's cold rain.

I know, that's the other thing.

It hasn't started raining for us yet, but it's about to. It hasn't started raining for me, and I didn't realize it. I just had cold, wet rain go down my back as I left the house. I was like, oh, this is the day we're going to have today. Okay.

This is for all of those people that say that they love this colder weather in the summertime in June, Megan.

I love cold weather. I don't particularly love freezing cold rain going down my back at 5.15 in the morning. I don't know about you, though.

I do. I like anything on my back. Anything that touches my back is good with me. That's what she said.

That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said.

All right. So it's going to be a day. Yeah, I got a coffee and I just haven't had time to drink it yet because we've had pre-show meetings and stuff. So I'm going to drink it here in a second, get kind of... Wait.

Is that a hot coffee I see over there?

I did not get a hot coffee, no. Oh, okay.

I was going to say you. Oh, is that somebody else's?

No, I have a Yeti here that I'm going to use today with my coffee, my cold coffee, because my cold coffee doesn't last the whole show.

Oh, I got you.

My coffee melts during that hour that we go commercial free.

Yeah.

So I'm going to see if the Yeti I brought from home will actually make it better.

Okay. Because you don't drink hot coffee. That's why I was surprised.

Because we know that Yetis make everything better. They do. I have no idea how this works, but you could put an ice cube in a Yeti and come back five weeks later, and it's still an ice cube.

Trust me, he did this experiment when he got his first Yeti. It's crazy. And we had to hear about it every day. It's the nuttiest thing ever. And check on the ice cube every day, Kev.

Seriously. It was a little science fair project that I was trying to do.

Yes.

All right, Mojo on the morning show.

Speaking of science fairs, we'd love to know what the person sitting next to me, I think sitting next to me at church on Sunday 8 to make their farts smell the way that they did. Oh, my God. Have you guys ever been somewhere and there was a public farter at large and you just couldn't even breathe because it was so bad? I've been the public farter. Well, yeah, that's a very wrong question to ask you. Here's when it's really bad. So I was at Wes's church, okay, the church that he goes to, and we had my kids with me, Lucy and Smith, and we had his kids with us, Samantha and Kieran. and it was really quiet and like trying to pay attention and praying really hard that smith behaves himself because he's six years old and the last thing this kid wants to do is sit through a church service but all of a sudden i could smell like the like the worst someone pooped their pants okay i could not breathe i'm trying to do the mouth breathing because i'm like this is really bad okay and the worst part is when you have a six-year-old with you and really loudly they're

like it smells so bad in here does he laugh when he says the word fart too like is it still that

no he just makes this face and i'm like i do because like we've all been there where you know whatever and the lady sitting next to me actually kept shooting my kids dirty looks as if it was them, which by the way, as their mama, I know it wasn't them because I know their smell. We all know our own smell or our children's smell. It was not their smell.

You can tell the difference between-

I can absolutely tell the difference.

Your child's farts and other people's farts.

I really can. Were they old people farts?

Because old people had, the fart that you were smelling, was it, sometimes old people have like a dusty fart to it. Like mothball-y. Yes.

No, this was not a mothball-y smell. This was a- It was a fresh, fresh fart. Yeah, this was like fresh.

Yeah.

I would say 35 years old By the way Hold on a second

Hi Shannon This is the police I would like to Can you please identify the fart

And not to say I've never farted in public That's not what I was saying by any means But it was just like everybody's quiet It's church You can't go anywhere So you're stuck there until it dissipates And my child is publicly commenting On how bad it smells

You've heard the saying like a fart in church There is nothing worse

There was really a fart in church A few farts

And there's nothing worse than that too Because you are in a captive audience You're stuck there and you can't do anything Correct At all Because you know it's like oh Like ooh You know you may groan and stuff Do you think it came from somebody that was sitting in front of you or behind you?

I'm gonna guess it was in front of me

Okay

Based on the pungency level

Do they do it at Wes's church Do they do the sign of peace Because at that time right there You could lean in and sniff

They don't He goes to a Lutheran church At least they did it in that specific service

Because at Catholic mass If somebody is farting And we've had this before You can lean in a little bit and go Alright now I know I remember getting crop dusted by a priest once I remember going to mass And you know how the priest walks up with the altar servers, and they've got the cross and the candles and all the rest of stuff, and they walk up with the big old procession up there? And the priest walked by, and right when he walked by, I was like, oh.

It went to you.

He completely crop dusted us. What's going on, Jackie? It's Mojo in the morning. How are you?

Good, good. How are you guys doing?

We're doing okay. Shannon got a little sniff on of a fart, and her son was not happy at church on Sunday.

Well, too bad my girlfriend wasn't there because it would have been her. She crapped us always. She's a teacher, so I can imagine the students are all blaming each other.

What is it about Jackie?

Nikki, what is it about your girlfriend that gets her crop dusting all the time? Because Chelsea says that I am a fart walker. She says that I will walk and farts will just randomly come out as I'm moving my legs.

It's a slow stream all day, always.

Yeah.

I have no idea. She said she didn't like to hold it because it hurts your stomach. I'm like, did you not learn this from a child?

So she teaches what grade?

Elementary school.

Oh, those poor kids. Oh, yeah. And they're probably right at ass level in their little desk that they're sitting in.

And you know they're all blaming each other. They're all like looking at each other like, who the hell? And it's insecure.

Yeah, that's not good. Well, thank you for the call. And thanks. I'm sure she's really appreciative of you calling out her crop dusting.

Oh, I'm sure she is.

Take care of yourself, Jackie. Nice to have you on. The funny thing also about going to church, and when you go to church, there's there's certain people that you'll hang out at in the church that i will go to you'll hang out with the excessively clearing your throat older guy you know the like the guy that sounds like he is you know kind of probably i don't know uh spit up something or something during She's got some slim in there.

It's not the rest of this word.

Then the other one is the heavy eyewear perfume to church person.

Oh, man. It's always somebody's aunt. Yeah. Sure.

Always. And the worst about it is you can't get away from that. I'd almost rather smell somebody's farts than smell somebody's excessive perfume.

I've been a little quiet, but I got to come clean. I'm a farter.

Are you?

And I farted in church, especially my grandmother's church. She, like, occupies the back row, so I felt like it was, like, game on at that point. Speaking about that passing of the peace, at my grandmother's church, we used to, like, get up and, like, walk around and, like, shake hands and hug people.

Yes, that's how my childhood church was, yeah.

And I used to be like, man, if I can just make it to the passing of the peace, I can let them loose. That's where you get to go. Yeah, my mom, like, one of my nicknames is Mr. Pootie. I used to fight for it all the time.

We had, I was an altar server. Kev, I don't know if you know that But believe it or not I'm kind of like a little bit religious Going to 12 years of Catholic school And I remember being an altar server At a mass that Father Rich Homa Got sick and we had to stall mass While he went into the bathroom To go do his duties I think I've told this story a couple times on the air And he went in and did not turn off his mic

Yes you have Yes you have Oh no

And Mrs. Barrett, Tom Barrett's mom, who was the head of the altar service, came over to me and goes, Tommy, go tell Father Rich's mic is on. And I had to go in there. And I guess in the church you could hear the...

Yes.

Your mic's on, Father.

Oh, my gosh.

What's up, Terry? How you doing?

I'm good. How are you?

We're good. What's happening?

Oh, I got one that tops that. How about stuck on a cross-country flight about three days after Easter with a guy eating boiled eggs that were obviously three days old. Oh, my God. Oh, you poor thing, Terry. That was the absolute worst. I mean, even the flight attendants wouldn't even come back. Oh, my God.

You can get on the no-fly list for bringing boiled eggs on a plane. Emerald, what's going on?

Hi. I just wanted to call in. So my mom, you know, she'll get up and walk and fart, and she calls it. She says that she's gas-powered.

Yes, that's good. Oh, man. Is that something that's generational? Does it get passed down to you?

I hope not.

Yeah. My dad was a farter, so I think it does. My dad was one of those guys, too, that he would just, like, randomly just, like, let one out. And he always did the little fart, and then he would go, ooh.

My dad would always tell me, well, loose floorboards. We got loose floorboards in the house.

And the best is when you can blame it on little children. Like, when you have little children, it's okay. Because, honestly, they are already right at a point where they don't even know what the hell's going on. Just blame it on them, you know? And then the kids, everybody's looking at them in kind of a weird way. So, I like, though, that Smith is your son, though, that will call out the person for that. Yep.

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