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Hey, Portlandia fans.

Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, AAO Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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This is Mojo in the Morning.

Showtime.

good morning welcome to the mojo in the morning show hope you had a great weekend And back from ours, it's Mojo in the morning. Got a new week of shows. Actually, our first five-day work week. So we'll be here through the week unless our bosses take us up on our offer. Last week, we were trying to negotiate. You know, some companies kind of have like four-day work weeks and stuff. We said that we'll work two and a half days a week. We'll give them a half a day a week.

We're very flexible. We'll work any amount that's less than right now.

I know that this is like the first like full week for a lot of the kids to a school. But it was wild because we were having this discussion, Luke and I and his buddies. He had a bunch of guys over this weekend watching football. And I said, I go, what did you guys think about getting back to school? Because it's their last semester. Luke's a senior and he's going, you know, into his last semester of high school. So it's wild. And they're all like, isn't it the dumbest thing ever that we just did two days? Like, we came back on Thursday and Friday. It's like, why don't they just give us the whole week off or just have us come back on Monday? And I'm like, you know what? I think that they do it just to kind of get your feet wet a little bit. I liked it. I liked kind of like last week coming back for just a few days. Yeah. We worked.

kinks out so to speak we are did we yes and i'll be honest with you i'm gonna be 100 honest i gotta work and the reason why i gotta work otherwise i eat my face off or want to eat my face off because i i started back you know i did the ideal you diet and uh which by the way was awesome lost 40 some pounds total of 48 pounds even afterwards so even doing the thing but the problem is Saturdays and Sundays if I'm not busy I all I want to do is go to the snack closet that we have and our refrigerator and I just want to eat so being here at the station you know I find myself like I'm pretty good I actually every morning I pretty much eat these egg egg whites the egg white bites and I eat two egg white bites and I'm good till one o'clock and then I eat a sensible like salad I guess like or something like that at, uh, at, you know, one. And then I'm good till dinner and I don't, I haven't been snacking at night. I haven't been doing like licorice like I was doing a lot before. Um, and I've been like pretty decent except over the weekend when you're watching football or you know what I mean? You just gotta have something. Oh, I want to put something in my mouth. I'm like, watch out.

You do have great self-control during the week. I'm always amazed. Like you and Mojo, you know, he's shared his struggles with us over the last 20 years of brutal. I mean, I've never met a man. He's literally tried every diet, every weight loss thing, every I mean, every fad thing that would go on. Did you ever try the tick tock tape your mouth shut? Because I feel like that's the only one you didn't do.

Honestly, that's what I should do on Saturdays and Sundays.

Well, I went back this weekend to one that Mojo did like 10 years ago. And at the time, I called him disgusting. I was mad at him because I thought it was so wasteful. I remember him telling us about the throwaway diet where he would go. He just wanted to taste the food. So he'd go through McDonald's, dry through, eat two bites, make the Big Mac and throw it out the window.

Didn't you get that from Seacrest? Ryan Seacrest. Yes.

Yes. And I was like, God, that's so wasteful. I can't believe you would do that. Now I'm doing it. It's come to this this weekend where I started the throwaway diet. What did you eat? Well, we had a party Saturday, and I made Megan throw away the snacks, the lunch meat, the cake, everything. And she's like, but there's so much left over. We can have this for—nope, throw it away. I will eat it in two hours. As soon as we clean up and everybody leaves from the party, I'll be eating more. And I just have no self-control. So, like, I went out to eat Friday night with my girls. And as soon as—when we all left, we're like, yeah, let's take a box. Let's pack this up. I'm like, I'll take this home. And then as I was driving home, I'm like, what am I doing? Why am I taking this home? Like, I don't, I just ate dinner. I'm going to eat this again tonight. So I threw it away the second I got home.

Can I update that diet? Because you did make me feel a little guilty for doing what I was doing. So I've updated that diet that you can try if you don't want to throw it away. So I go out with Chelsea and I haven't done that one in a while because I've been pretty self-controlled, like when I'm out. And then we go out We'll order a meal And I'll ask them right away To just take half of it And take it And just put it in Like another container That is such a smart idea And do it You know right away Like just bring me The half of the thing Because if it's on the plate I'll eat it

Because they always make a big portion The sizes The servings are so big In restaurants

The second is A garage fridge Do you have a garage fridge?

I have a basement fridge Okay basement fridge Yeah

Basement and garage fridges Are the greatest thing ever The garage fridge Is a great thing for Oh, you say it. Garage. Garage fridge. It's a great thing for, and it's our old fridge that we had when we got a new refrigerator. You know, we put it in the garage. And it usually just had beverages in it. Now what I'll do is I will put the food in when I come home because it shames me to have to go into the garage to go get the food.

And I never want to do it because it's cold.

Well, that's true. It is. You know what I mean? I'm like, oh, I don't want to go outside. Actually, if you don't have a garage fridge, just put it in the garage.

Just live in there. It's probably fine. I had to get rid of the garage fridge because I used to have one. See, now you're saying it. Now you made me say it. Garage fridge. Because it had the beers in it, and every time I went out to the garage, I'd crack one like, I'm going to take the trash out. And then three hours later, I'd be like, oh, man. Like me and the neighbors would be standing out there at the curb drinking beers, and I'm like, it's a Monday night. so but like uh Natalie went back to college for her last semester of college talking about Luke having his last semester of high school Natalie's wrapping up college so when she was packing up Saturday morning I literally packed up every snack I feel bad for Megan's little son because I my girlfriend has a six-year-old I packed all his snacks

too i packed everything up in the house and gave it to my daughter like here here's some chips here's some m&ms here's some halloween candy here's some everything i i made her take everything

edible in the house back to college with her well if they if they don't i'm that's the worst you know christmas time there's all the stuff you put in like little bowls and you know you have like little things like we had um chelsea uh or santa filled stockings with rolos okay so good The Rolos are the great – they had holiday Rolos. So finally I just said, it's got to go. Because the boys came home, and they all took what they could take home back with them to Chicago and Florida, and Luke took it up to his room. But there's like a thing of Rolos in the kitchen. I'm like, get rid of the effing Rolos. I can't do it anymore.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yesterday morning I was like, I got to have something healthy. I'm going to make a smoothie. I know there's some frozen fruit in the freezer. i went and opened the freezer and what do i find reese's pumpkins i go what are these and meg says oh i put them in the freezer from halloween so i was like oh it's just about to make a smoothie with fruit maybe i'll make a little chocolate smoothie and throw some reese's it's i don't know

i i'm going to tell you this that uh it's my struggle it's you know the i i kind of wish that they could come up with just a thing where it's like we could eat and it would just go right through us. You know what I mean? Like, eat on the toilet

and it goes right... Well, I mean, I had that over the Christmas break. Yeah, it's called the virus.

But I wish that there was a way like, or just...

Where you had that, but you didn't feel

crappy. Yeah, or... Honestly. If they could make chewing gum or something that you could just put in your mouth to chew that tastes like mashed potatoes and gravy. Right. It's a Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka, yes. Thank you, Megan.

Violent Beauregard.

snozzberries taste like snozzberries but i just want to like put something in my mouth that i don't you know you don't get the calories from exactly yeah it doesn't go down to the stomach i mean it's it's bad to to the fact that if i have something laying around i would love to eat ding dong yes i would it's bad that if they have it just laying around the house that i got to put it in my mouth and eat it so it's not good she wanted to have a piece of my meat yeah well no um how are you doing on this uh this thing have you uh found yourself well it's only been two

days so i'll let you know i'm gonna fail it like everything else but mike and i can tell you this

because of ideal you is that if you weigh yourself every day that's another one too and a lot of people will say well it's water weight it's water weight no it's it's not you know and i'm not saying that there aren't days that you just lose water weight but i'm saying it's consistency and that's the thing and the consistency of weighing yourself i bought a scale but i always forget until i'm

already getting dressed and once i put socks on i can't weigh myself you have to be completely naked just peed everything i want the lightest possible i'll weigh myself after a haircut when

i wake up i gotta tell you guys the funny story speaking of scales did i tell you uh guys last week at all that my aunt sent me a gift for christmas and it was a scale and weight watchers

uh uh like online membership oh my gosh yes you got fat shamed by your aunt i yes because

she saw pictures of me from summertime because i'll be honest with you i was really out of control at summertime i was golfing and i was drinking and i was eating nachos and i was i think i had potato chips every single day because the golf course that we would go to they would have potato chips like like just sitting there and i'll be like oh i'll eat some of these potato of chips so i got so bad that i got a gift and i'll have to send it i took a picture and i was uh gonna post it on my social media but my sister was like don't do it because she'll get so mad at you but i'll i'll let reese do it anyway um she sent me a scale scale she said that is so wildly

is that amazing i can't yeah like what do you do you say thank you uh well no you know you do you

send it back with a big mound of potatoes on it like now i know exactly how much five pounds is

for dinner this is the same aunt this is the same aunt this is no joke who one christmas gave every one of us fanny or frango mints do you guys know what frango mints are they used yes they used to sell frango mints at uh macy's hudson's yes at the cash register and they might they gave everybody in my family got frango mints but my sister pat because she thought that pat was too heavy so she wouldn't give frango mince to pat is pat had never left let her down uh live that down after a while

aunt pat what's going on heather hey how are you good what's going on well i know how hard it is to sit there and lose weight i was up to close to 300 pounds at one point and um was thinking about bariatric surgery and actually ended up seeing an ad for a diet Yeah.

That it made me not hungry And it actually made me crave healthy food Really? My God It's so weird It's like you go and you know how When you go to the cupboard And you crave salty or sweet or whatever And you automatically grab the chips and stuff You look at it and you go And then grab an orange or an apple Come on

Did it grow a third arm or something? Because it was a pill? What was the downside?

Well, the downside is you do get the jitters taking it, but other than that.

Was it fen-fen back in the day? Because that was a big one that people did.

No, it's called Truvy. It's an all-natural. There's no chemical ingredients, and it's an all-natural supplement.

Wow. And it didn't do anything to you? Like your heart's okay and your mind's okay right now?

Everything's absolutely fine. Even my cousin, Karen, who has a pacemaker, had cancer, lupus, and various other health issues, was cleared to take it.

Wow. Well, I got to tell you, the garage fridge diet does work. So you can try that if you want to just maintain.

Yeah, yeah. That wouldn't work for me. I'd find some reason to go clean the garage.

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Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. Voidware prohibited by law. 21 plus. Terms and conditions apply. The first season of the X Games League is ending in New Orleans, and only one team walks away champion. July 24th through 26th at the Caesar Superdome, watch the world's best skaters, BMX riders, and moto athletes battle for the title. Plus, live performances from Metro Boomin', JID, Subtronics, and Bunt. Three days of sport and music. Get your tickets now at xgames.com.

Hey, Portlandia fans.

Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, AAO Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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